In self development May 18, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Enitan Facos: 5 Money Beliefs Keeping You Poor

Chances are you have faulty beliefs about money, which keep you from coming into it. Here are 5 faulty beliefs you might have and what to do about it.

The first thing to get straight is this: Money serves you. You are it’s master and it is your faithful servant. Never get this the other way around. Money serves two purposes: It allows us to live comfortably. It is also a vehicle that lets us do good in this world. Let money serve you.

Money Isn’t Everything

Some people believe that money can’t buy happiness. They pretty much choose poverty over prosperity, thinking that happiness comes with scarcity. Yet, part of having an abundance mindset means the best of both worlds. After all, money is just an indicator of success. Poor and unsuccessful people have made it a habit to avoid doing things that improve their skills and this guarantees failure.

On the other hand, successful people have a habit of doing things that help them progressively realize their goals and dreams. While you may want to remain static, the truth is you either create or disintegrate.

2. You Lack Gratitude for the Money You Do Have

Just as we don’t know how to receive, when we do receive, we don’t know how to express gratitude. Start off simple and express gratitude, when you find a dime on your garage floor or a dollar bill in your laundry.

Gratitude is a re-framing of our minds, which opens us to receiving and expands our awareness to possibilities. Possibilities increase our chances of success.

3. You Don’t Know How to Receive

How many of us know how to ask for money or negotiate salaries? How many of us know our true worth in the value we can provide? I sure didn’t. I had helped my friend remove malware from her computer. It took me less than an hour, and she wanted to pay me for my time. Yet, because I didn’t know how to ask for money or the worth of the knowledge I possess, I stupidly refused the money. Luckily for me, my friend insisted. More importantly, she helped me realize that my knowledge and experience are not just for my employer. I can also help other people, and I should be bold enough to ask for money. After all, while it may have taken less than an hour to remove that malware, it’s taken me twenty years of constant study in front of the computer to build up that knowledge base and expertise.

4. You Have a Poor Self-Image

You can only grow as far as your self-image will allow. If you ever want to make six-figures at your next job, then you have to first believe you can. Your bad self image makes you believe that you are undeserving and a fraud. Mainly, it’s been poisoned by other people’s beliefs.

Once you believe you bring a unique value to this world that you alone can provide, you become aware that you deserve an abundance of happiness, health, and wealth. This accomplishment is something greater yet as it is an expansion of your awareness and true self-growth. Only when you are able to see yourself worthy and deserving of a six-figure salary, will your future employer see it too.

5. It Starts With You

One of the common threads running through the 7 false beliefs has to do with blame and your willingness to take responsibility for your current results. Unsuccessful people blame their circumstances or other people. On the contrary, successful people accept their circumstances and take the initiative to improve what they can. Even if the problems seem insurmountable, they start acting from where they can.

To bring more money and success into your life, first make a decision to throw out these faulty beliefs. Be willing to accept new beliefs that are conducive to your goals. When we start educating ourselves, we also start expanding our awareness to what’s possible.

In the end, the decision to come into an abundance of wealth and success has more to do with setting goals and growing, than it is about the money. As you embark on this journey, kindly remind yourself from time to time that goals aren’t about getting. They are about growing.

In Interviews&profile February 8, 2020 By Editor

Stacy Francis – Every Woman Should Be Her Own Financial Officer

By Stacy Francis
@FRANCISFSFINANCE

President And CEO Of Francis Financial

Over the past two decades, I have specialized in advising women in moments of transition. This has given me the unique opportunity to observe women’s financial practices and attitudes during the window in which they are most open and most vulnerable.

Oftentimes, this change happens as a result of divorce; however, women also face transitions in times of marriage, starting a new job, motherhood, widowhood, etc.

These are the top five financial pitfalls I have observed holding women back from a secure financial future:

1. Not using a budget: While creating and maintaining a budget is a commonly dreaded affair, the benefits of keeping track of your monthly expenses far outweigh the disadvantages.

Such benefits can entail saving for retirement, buying property, or having a college fund for your children. On the other hand, not using a budget can lead to overspending and credit card debt.

Uncontrolled debt not only batters your finances but may also generate enough stress to threaten your health. Health.com writes that debt can lead to problems such as high blood pressure, which can result in heart disease or stroke; an increase in anxiety; and depression.

2. Not having an emergency fund: According to a study by BMO Harris, among people with rainy day funds, men have saved nearly twice as much as women.

How can you leave an awful job, an abusive marriage — any sort of bad situation — if you don’t have money?

Save for an emergency cash cushion and aim to have at least three to six months of living expenses in the bank.

3. A man is not a financial plan: Every woman should be her own chief financial officer instead of waiting for her knight in shining armor.

Don’t wait for Prince Charming to carry you over the threshold. Be the one paying the bills and keeping track of your assets and what you owe.

Women are increasingly earning more and, according to New York Life Investments, $14 trillion worth of personal wealth is controlled by women, which is only to increase in the years to come.

That means that, not only do women have the financial means to support themselves, but now is also the time for women to take control of their finances.

Even if you are married, don’t hand over all control of the money to your husband “because it’s a guy thing.” That robs you of your power and financial security. You, too, can be the “money person” or ask to hold monthly discussions to look at the family finances. Schedule a “financial date night,” and make it fun.

4. The need to know all the right answers and doing nothing: In many situations, I try to have all the right answers before I proceed. It turns out that many other women do the same.

But waiting to have all the answers can derail us from reaching our financial goals. For example, some people do nothing by sitting on the investing sidelines or investing too conservatively.

TheSimpleDollar.com, a free online resource, explains that women often wait to invest, or don’t invest at all, thinking that they need to know more to make any investment. However, you don’t need to be an expert, and can always ask for help.

If you really want to be wealthy, put your money to work with a nice mix of stocks and bonds. Have your money work as hard as you do — that’s what investing is all about.

5. Saving too little: Numerous studies show that, on average, women have lower savings rates than men, putting themselves at risk of outliving their money. Although women are increasingly earning more, such statistics could be credited to ongoing gender wage gaps and women leaving their jobs to become stay-at-home mothers.

Don’t wait until it’s too late. Saving for your future should be just as much of a priority as paying off debt. Women can’t afford to only think short-term.

Stay consistent with a 10% yearly savings rate, which should include your individual retirement account and/or 401(k) plan contributions. Keep the money in an account you don’t have easy access to, so you can’t transfer it and it is constantly growing for your future.

Missing out on these opportunities from an early age only means you’re going to have to work longer or save more as you get older.

A helpful trick to easy saving is to set up automatic contributions to your retirement plan at work. You can also add the auto-escalation feature, which will allow your contribution to automatically increase 1% to 2% annually.

Empower yourself and take control of your finances. It’s never too early or too late to start.

Also, using different banks for your checking and savings account can help diminish impulsive spending. It can take almost three business days to transfer money to your checking account from a separate bank, which gives you time to reconsider what you’re using your savings for.

In this way, you’re able to keep track of the money you have in your emergency fund, your vacation savings, your wedding savings and any other savings goal you want to establish.

While many women may be guilty of making these money mistakes, it’s good to know you can bounce back and turn those bad habits around at any time.

Empower yourself and take control of your finances. It’s never too early or too late to start.

Ultimately, my money rule is simple: Spend less than you earn. Never give yourself an increase in standard of living — instead, increase your savings.

You’ll see the benefits pay off for your future and for your loved ones.

Click here to read more

In self development August 3, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

5 IMPORTANT THINGS TO DISCUSS BEFORE YOU SAY “I DO”

Avoid a rocky marriage, trash out important matters before you walk down the aisle.

You don’t necessarily have to wait until marriage to begin to deal with certain marital issues

Since it is often said that prevention is better than cure, it becomes absolutely necessary for courting, engaged, or other couples in serious committed relationships to discuss the following things…

Work stress

This is one aspect of pre-marriage conversations that many people hardly bother with.

Except you both expect to starve and/or beg, then, at least one of you has to go to work.

Upon return from a long stressful day, different people have different ways of resting or chilling.

You and your partner should discuss this before marriage, so as to avoid cases where you are usually feeling chatty after work, and she just wants to left alone for at least 2 hours after her return.

This kind of conversation will help you both know how make suitable adjustments, or at least, know what to expect after you finally say “I do.”

In-laws

The matter of bad in-laws is quite terrible that I hear some ladies now pray to marry a man whose mother is long dead before they even meet him.

Let’s even forget how absurd and terrible that kind of wish is; the truth still remains that not all mothers or fathers-in-law will be dead by the time you meet your partner, so it’s best you prepare to relate with them because they will be present in your married life whether you like it or not.

Clashes often arises when couples feel divided or threatened by by in-laws. So discuss well what your spouse’s relationship with his/her parents is like, so as to judge if they are still tied to mommy’s apron, or mentally mature enough to stand up and resist unnecessary interference from daddy. You really need to discuss this properly, really.

Money

This one does not really need much explanation as it is well-discussed matter already. All that’s left to do here is to remind you to ensure that you ask the right questions.

Don’t just ask him how much he earns, or how much of her salary she saves. Ask of their relationship with money, which is basically asking them to give you a recap of their financial history.

You should also not shy away from asking them about their financial strengths and weaknesses [Yeah, some people can spend their last kobo on clothes, and shoes… and for some, it’s just sports betting… smh.]

Please ask them to tell you about their financial dreams and goals, too.

Sex

We understand that they told us in church to shun pre-marital sex. [Amen]

However, I don’t think anyone will ban you from you from pre-marital sex-talk.

Yes, pre-marital sex-talk. Please talk about it. The fact that you are contemplating marriage with someone essentially means you are sexually attracted to that person, and that y’all are planning to do the do soon.

So there’s no sense in being too shy to ask him how often he thinks you should be having sex in a week, ask her into which hole she prefers to have it [clears throat], also ask about that body count.

Yes! The body count actually counts, too, and try to be as open and honest with your answers as possible.

Babies and contraceptive techniques

How many babies do you ideally want? What is the spacing between births going to be like? What techniques of contraception do you think we should use. These questions are equally as important. Please ask them.

Source: Pulse Ng

In self development June 2, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

ASK SHADE ABOUT TRUSTS: MY HUSBAND HIDES HIS ASSETS FROM ME

Apart from finding a way to be financially productive yourself, even if it is through opening an investment portfolio that your husband can give you initial money for, start by letting your husband know that you are concerned about what could happen to you and his dependents if anything happens to him, particularly as you are not gainfully employed and are totally dependent on him financially.

Hello Shade,
I am a full-time housewife married to an international businessman. It is his choice that I stay home to tend to the home front, which I’ve come to embrace as my role. The problem is that as an educated wife, I think I’m supposed to know all my husband’s assets and properties, but he doesn’t tell me anything about them. I often feel he thinks I’m useless because I don’t work. Am I being unnecessarily paranoid?
– Bisi, Ogun State

***

Dear Bisi,

Thank you for reaching out to me.

I understand that you feel under-appreciated by your husband, despite the fact that at your husband’s request, you have assumed the role of a full-time housewife.

In my opinion, your concerns are justifiable, because as a full-time homemaker who is completely financially dependent on your husband, such thoughts would pervade your mind. Perhaps this mental nudge is what you require to confirm if your husband has an estate plan in place. However, you must tread with caution to avoid being misunderstood.

Apart from finding a way to be financially productive yourself, even if it is through opening an investment portfolio that your husband can give you initial money for, start by letting your husband know that you are concerned about what could happen to you and his dependents if anything happens to him, particularly as you are not gainfully employed and are totally dependent on him financially. I believe this will set the tone for your husband to re-evaluate your current position as a full-time housewife. It would also prompt him to consider the options open to him toward planning his estate, including putting his will in place to determine how his assets will be distributed at the end of his life, and/or setting up a trust to cater for your welfare and that of other dependents.

I hope I have been able to help you out in some way.

Cheers,
Shade

Source: Bellanaija

In self development April 3, 2017 By Editor

ANUOLUWAPO ADELAKUN: THE IMPORTANCE OF FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE FOR WOMEN

Yes, I am dedicating this post to the most epic TwitterNG Clap back which has been trending.

The tweets which deserve to be engraved in gold and put up in the museum of Women Empowerment (If there is any) ensued between a cheesy young man who took to Twitter to rant about being refused a chance at having a relationship with a young lady (with a self-esteem on fleek) whom he had taken out on a date. He referred to her as a ‘broke ass hungry b*tch’. The lady who identified herself as the object of contention, simply replied his tweet with a break-down of the expenses incurred on the date and a screenshot of a money transfer to the said guy as a refund + tip.

Can we all have a moment of silence in honour of this ‘Miss Independent’ move.

You see, the young lady in question might not have a well-paid job or 30 billion for the account o *in Davido’s voice*; she didn’t even have to pay him back generously as she did, but I love that she didn’t feel helpless or without a choice.

This brought to mind something that happened to one of my mother’s friends some years ago. (I’m sharing her experience with her permission of course.) She had been in a horribly abusive marriage for years. Her husband even had a long cane hidden behind the door in their room for when she ‘misbehaved’ and wasted no time flogging her silly in front of their children. When the cane was not sufficient, he resorted to using his teeth. On one of such occasions, he bit one of her breasts and a chunk of her flesh was actually hanging on her chest.

My mother is a lawyer, but of what use was that, when her friend never wanted any help in that regard? ‘Where will I go?’ she would often ask my mother. My mother spoke to her husband on multiple occasions, but his woman was quick to cover him up.
Back to the vampire incident where the breast had been bitten; upon arrival at the hospital (you should know that this man never paid any of the bills arising from his violent outbursts) the doctor asked what could have caused such a fracas and my mother’s friend said that she had slipped and fallen badly off the stairs. Of course, the doctors didn’t believe her (Not with his teeth imprinted in her flesh), but counselled her nonetheless.

A few years ago, this man gave his wife a date – not when he would send her out of his home, but when he would actually kill her. She ran to my mother who advised her to get a job and earn some money no matter how meagre.

She did just that (against the wishes of her husband, who believed women should be full-time housewives) and that was the beginning of her freedom. Since the man always got angry when it was time to pay the bills, she started handling the bills. Unsurprisingly, he began to complain about how she didn’t care about him or treat him like a man. He complained, but never lifted a finger to hit her again. Why? She now had her own money and could afford to leave him, if he abused her again. Soon enough, he was transferred by his company to work in a state that was 12 hours away from home. He hasn’t come home visiting till this day.

And, you’re taking things too far with this issue, you may say – but I think not. We can’t overemphasise the need for women to be financially independent. In fact, most of the problems we have in the world today stem from the poverty many women face because they can’t or are not allowed or given opportunities to be financially independent. In many countries, including Nigeria, some cultures forbid women from owning or administering properties (this is one of the reasons why our gender equality bill must make a come-back in the Senate), denied employment because they will get pregnant and have babies and no one wants to pay for a breastfeeding or nappy changing vacation and yada yada.

Here’s my take on the Twitter incident: taking a lady out on a date, buying her expensive gifts, or treating her to some privileges doesn’t mean she must meet your expectations in return, or even pay you back in cash or kind. This is the grounds some men have ignorantly used to justify rape and forms of sexual violence. It is beyond sad. What if she was controlling you at the ATM or she bought the whole of Dubai mall using your credit card? Uncle, it still doesn’t mean she must have a relationship or have sex with you. Recieve sense!

Love can’t be forced, and relationships are not legal tenders for dates. If either of the parties on a date is not ‘feeling’ any chemistry or seeing any possibilities, they have a right to step back. After all, many of us have been on dates with people who have treated us very nicely, but with whom we had no relationships – we had the right to, for whatsoever reason.

More than anything, this particular twitter thread should be empowering to ladies. Don’t be intimidated. What if he takes you out and spends more than you can afford and behaves this same way, don’t feel like you have to pay anyone back for a date they invited you to. There’s a price to be paid for everything in this life including time spent with other people on dates. Hold your head up high; let your No be your No and your Yes be your Yes.

This is not a call to war, I simply mean that you have a choice!

About AnuOluwapo Adelakun

AnuOluwapo Adelakun is a passionate girl child and women rights advocate working on issues affecting marginalized girls and women in Nigeria. She’s a UNICEF Voices of Youth alumni, Carrington Youth Fellow of the US Consulate in Lagos, Nigeria and a UN WOMEN/Empower Women Global Champion for Change who grooms and mentors girl leaders across the globe.

Source: Bellanaija