Avoid a rocky marriage, trash out important matters before you walk down the aisle.

You don’t necessarily have to wait until marriage to begin to deal with certain marital issues

Since it is often said that prevention is better than cure, it becomes absolutely necessary for courting, engaged, or other couples in serious committed relationships to discuss the following things…

Work stress

This is one aspect of pre-marriage conversations that many people hardly bother with.

Except you both expect to starve and/or beg, then, at least one of you has to go to work.

Upon return from a long stressful day, different people have different ways of resting or chilling.

You and your partner should discuss this before marriage, so as to avoid cases where you are usually feeling chatty after work, and she just wants to left alone for at least 2 hours after her return.

This kind of conversation will help you both know how make suitable adjustments, or at least, know what to expect after you finally say “I do.”


The matter of bad in-laws is quite terrible that I hear some ladies now pray to marry a man whose mother is long dead before they even meet him.

Let’s even forget how absurd and terrible that kind of wish is; the truth still remains that not all mothers or fathers-in-law will be dead by the time you meet your partner, so it’s best you prepare to relate with them because they will be present in your married life whether you like it or not.

Clashes often arises when couples feel divided or threatened by by in-laws. So discuss well what your spouse’s relationship with his/her parents is like, so as to judge if they are still tied to mommy’s apron, or mentally mature enough to stand up and resist unnecessary interference from daddy. You really need to discuss this properly, really.


This one does not really need much explanation as it is well-discussed matter already. All that’s left to do here is to remind you to ensure that you ask the right questions.

Don’t just ask him how much he earns, or how much of her salary she saves. Ask of their relationship with money, which is basically asking them to give you a recap of their financial history.

You should also not shy away from asking them about their financial strengths and weaknesses [Yeah, some people can spend their last kobo on clothes, and shoes… and for some, it’s just sports betting… smh.]

Please ask them to tell you about their financial dreams and goals, too.


We understand that they told us in church to shun pre-marital sex. [Amen]

However, I don’t think anyone will ban you from you from pre-marital sex-talk.

Yes, pre-marital sex-talk. Please talk about it. The fact that you are contemplating marriage with someone essentially means you are sexually attracted to that person, and that y’all are planning to do the do soon.

So there’s no sense in being too shy to ask him how often he thinks you should be having sex in a week, ask her into which hole she prefers to have it [clears throat], also ask about that body count.

Yes! The body count actually counts, too, and try to be as open and honest with your answers as possible.

Babies and contraceptive techniques

How many babies do you ideally want? What is the spacing between births going to be like? What techniques of contraception do you think we should use. These questions are equally as important. Please ask them.

Source: Pulse Ng

Children are a gift from God, from the moment they are born, to their first significant life moments like their first baby step or their first word, those are all delightful times for their parents. The parents take it upon themselves to guide and steer their kids towards the right paths as they grow and usually the first educational step they take  is enrolling the kids into schools as soon as they’re old enough. Henceforth that first milestone, it is always a parent’s pride and joy to see their ward grow and advance up the educational ladder. A parent would gladly sacrifice a lot just so their kids lack nothing and would do so with joy knowing in the years to come, their reward would come when the children are out of school and  could fend for themselves and their parents as well.

And for us the children, from the moment we graduate from High school or secondary school as the case maybe, we look forward to being admitted into college, graduating from the university with a degree and basically starting our lives independently. Once, admitted into the university there is sort of a countdown on both sides : the parents and the child. They all both envision the world becoming better after graduation. The parents dream of finally relaxing and reaping the fruits of all that sacrifice and the child dreams of rewarding everyone who’s been there through the journey.

And alas! , it’s graduation day, the daughter/ son is a graduate and ready to go into the world. She/he is ready to take the reins from the parent’s and whilst, this is basically how it should be it sadly isn’t in most average cases!

For the child, the string of finances stops coming in from the family or the former sponsors. In return, they start expecting help from you instead. In some lucky cases, the child gets a well paying job and lives up to expectations but in other cases, it’s hard cause then you realize eventually what no one told you that would have better prepared you. Here they are:

  • Be prepared to go broke:

The transition from full on dependency to independency is not an easy one. In most cases, it will be tough cause you’ll be going from the care and reliable finances you had coming in, to fending for yourself. Just before, it becomes stable and better through hardwork, just be prepared to go low  on finances.

  • Get a skill

Not everyone is lucky enough to actually make a living from their college degrees. A skill in  programming, management, business or whatever sector you find interesting would go a long way in the transition.

  • Be prepared to be your own cheerleader

This is really important, the world is a tough place and only the best and tough people can survive in it. In as much as your family loves you, there will still be expectations from them and no one will really understand what you are going through. So, on the bad days, the times when it seems you can’t handle it anymore, you have to be able to brace up and cheer yourself on.

  • Be ready to take risks and try new ventures

There is really no script to life, so be ready to try new ventures not even related to your course of study. It always helps to look within you and figure  out what other skills you have, embark on them and you might just have that smooth transition you desire

All  in all, it’s never easy transitioning but just like every other change, it’s a constant and one we must learn to adopt, no just in going from dependency to independency but also in other spheres of life. Goodluck!


About Jane

21 year old Udoka Jane O is a trained  Engineer, She is  a professional freelance writer on Relationship and healthy lifestyles. Jane has written a number of mind engaging articles….

A Nigerian startup, BabyMigo, founded by Adeloye Olanrewaju, has been named as one of Time Magazine’s 50 Genius Companies.

Babymigo was specifically selected for creating and being a community for new and expectant mothers.

(Photo: Babymigo)

Babymigo is an online community that connects mothers-to-be with information, medical experts, services and other parents. The platform is also equipped with an SMS subscription service for pregnant women that informs them of prenatal appointments and their babies’ development.

Since inception, the response has been huge, and the Babymigo team has since tapped into a massive, unmet demand for Africa-centric pregnancy, birth and baby information. The app has been downloaded over 30,000 times and its mobile-friendly website has over 90,000 registered users.

(Photo: Babymigo)

Adeloye says:

“There are 10.4 million babies born every year in Nigeria, and every one of those mothers is hungry for the kind of information we provide.”

Earlier this year, the company was one of the inaugural set of African startups to go through the Google’s Africa Launchpad Accelerator program, which afforded a $10,000 grant — just one of the company’s many well-deserved achievements.

Augustsecrets is a growing baby and toddler food solutions company with the goal of helping Nigerian mothers to feed their children healthier food options, rather than junk foods. It provides recipes online and runs a homemade food range of paps, locally-made cereals from everyday home-grown foodstuffs like vegetables, fruits, and grains. Its major strength is busy mothers with fussy eaters and children who are malnourished due to poverty and displacement.  Augustsecrets reaches more than 50,000 young mothers all over the world on social media with its recipes and cooking tips.

The AugustSecrets community “Give back” project is one of the activities leading to the  official launch of the “AugustSecrets Sample Meal plan book that will be unveiled soon, the aim is to sensitize women at the grassroots the importance of healthier complimentary foods for their babies and toddlers. The workshop kicked off in the riverine area of Makoko community where over 100  rural women were educated and encouraged to serve more varieties to their children like proteins and fibre-rich locally available foods and given free Augustsecrets guinea corn and maize mix.


According to Oluwatoyin Onigbanjo , the founder of AugustSecrets; Nigerian and even African mothers at the grassroots should be encouraged to make homemade meals for their babies from locally available food items  ; beans, grains and fish, this will lead to better nutrition for the children and Augustsecrets makes this range of food affordable.

The educative give back  workshop will spread to other parts of Lagos before the official launch of the AugustSecrets Sample Meal Plan book in a bid to sensitize more mothers.