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#INTERVIEW: “TO EVERY GIRL CHILD, YOU ARE COMPLETE” -CHINYERE DISTINGUISHED ANOKE, AUTHOR

ChinyereDistinguished Lydia Anoke is a certified NLP Practitioner and the author of the fast-selling book, “SINGLE, FRUITFUL, FULFILLED”, a book that addresses most of the challenges/questions in the heart of Singles, and empowers them to live whole and productive lives.

She is the Steward of the SFF COMMUNITY – a Community with the mandate to raise a generation of whole and productive youths who live fruitful and fulfilled lives in all spheres of life.

She is also the Founder of Kompendia Concepts, a one-stop company for copy-writing, ghost writing, editing and publishing of books and articles.

ChinyereDistinguished is an intentional young lady with a burning desire to live out all that God has deposited in her for the benefit of mankind and ultimately for His Glory. Through her numerous write-ups on different platforms – blogs, social media and books, she is able to fulfil her passion of helping young adults to overcome self-limiting doubts, take full responsibility for their decisions, and hence, live a life of Excellence without limits.

She is a sought-after Speaker especially on topics relating to Singlehood, Self and purpose discovery, personal development, writing.

Read her exclusive interview with Women Of Rubies below:

CHILDHOOD

My dad always gave us books and compelled us to read them. Most of the things I learned and do today are things I read from books or magazines or other forms of written materials.

These books exposed me to different cultures, lifestyles and mindsets beyond that of my immediate environment.

Also, being a Pastor’s child put me and all my siblings in the spotlight from the word go. It wasn’t something I was comfortable with while growing up, but it prepared me to know that there are always eyes watching my every move. That made me very conscious and helped me deliberately cultivate integrity as a lifestyle; so my life in secret is congruent with my life in the public.

I didn’t understand how important that was until more recently when I started sharing my story on social media and even in my books. Now I have people who I didn’t know were watching, leave comments that collaborate my story.

MEET ME

My name is Chinyere Distinguished Lydia Anoke and I come from a family of 9; 2 parents and 6 siblings. My parents are clergy – my dad is a Bishop and my mum is a Pastor. From the above description, you can tell that I was raised in a Christian home and that forms the core of my beliefs and values.

Professionally, I am a Content developer and an Editor even though I studied Computer Science in the University of Nigeria Nsukka. In fact, I spent 5 long years studying the 4 year course, and eventually graduated with a 2’1.

However, I left the ICT field when it fully dawned on me that I was struggling to comprehend basic programming concepts. At this time, I was working as a Software Test Analyst with Wema Bank. My job role was to detect potential bugs in systems starting from the document stage, but I ended up detecting more grammatical errors in the Business documents that I was given. I advised myself and left before my ‘poor ICT sense’ caused some havoc. Fortunately at that same time, I got a Content Development job offer from Mavis Computel Limited, so I gladly resigned.

Afterwards, I took some online courses aligned with my interest and natural flair for writing and editing. Today, I run my own Content development and editing firm – Kompendia Concepts, where we help writers and authors refine their writings to be precise, concise and professional, to enable them communicate better and connect easier with their audience.

Socially, I am passionate about helping young adults overcome self-limiting doubts, take full responsibility for their decisions and actions and ultimately, live a life of excellence without limits. Gradually, I am achieving this one step at a time through my numerous write-ups on blogs, books and the social media.


ABOUT MY BOOK “SINGLE, FRUITFUL, FULFILLED”

My book, “SINGLE, FRUITFUL, FULFILLED”, popularly known as the SFF Book, is a detailed guide on how to make the most of Singlehood. We live in a society that is so marriage-oriented that a lot of times, children, especially female children, are made to believe that their sole purpose in life is to marry and give birth; or at least, have a man in their lives, even if she is the side-chick or 4th wife.

The SFF book is divided into four major parts.

I: Who is a Single? – This explains what is means to be Single; not just an unmarried adult.

II: Why do you want to get married? – Marriage of course is a good thing and a God-ordained institution. However, this section of the SFF book compels the reader to pause and question why he/she wants to get married… the motive, the mindset and the preparedness for marriage.

III: What to do before “I Do” – This section enlightens and empowers the reader with the four critical things to do before marriage.

IV: Dealing with SFF Challenges (loneliness, anxiety, pressure, etc.) – Just like every other phase in life, Singlehood has its unique challenges, so this section of the book addresses some of these challenges. Beyond addressing them, it also equips the reader with the right tools with which to handle and overcome their own peculiar SFF challenge(s) which may not be written in the book.

The SFF book is an easy and essential-read for all Singles. It is also highly recommended for anyone who desires to live a fruitful and fulfilled life, and as well support others to do same, regardless of their marital status.
You can find some testimonials about the SFF book on http://bit.ly/SFFfreeDownload You can also download the first two chapters for FREE with that link.

INSPIRATION BEHIND SFF

Even though I had always fantasized and desired to write a book, I never imagined that I’d write a book for Singles. But as they say, God takes your mess and turns it into a message; that it exactly what happened with the SFF book and the entire SFF Vision.

I was engaged to be married in 2015. Traditional and white weddings were scheduled for 5th and 12th December, respectively; unfortunately that never came to be. At this time I was already desperate for marriage because we were (un)consciously groomed by both our immediate families and the society at large, to believe that the deadline for ladies to get married is age 25. So I was determined to marry at that age, even though there were so many red flags in my relationship.

I had turned 25 in October 2015, so when my wedding couldn’t hold in December, my anxiety skyrocketed. I had already told most of my close friends about my wedding plans, plus we had already booked some vendors. Imagine my embarrassment each time my friends called to ask “how far?” I felt worse when 2016 came and some of my friends who weren’t even in relationships when I was planning my wedding, started getting married.

Fast-forward to October 2016 when I was going to turn 26 and my plans were still falling more apart rather than coming together, I cried desperately to God: “Father, it seems you have forsaken me. Another Christmas is approaching and I’m still single!” And He replied, “Chinyere, I see you.” Then He started showing me so many things that were wrong with both my relationship and my mindset about marriage. I had stopped desiring marriage; I was desperate for it to obtain the idol status of MRS.

Long story short, that relationship had to end the following month. Then God gave me the SFF Vision – to enlighten, encourage and empower Singles with the right mindset about singlehood and marriage. It started with an SFF interview Series on my blog. The second part is the SFF book. Now we have an SFF Community where we groom Singles. We also have the MFS (Married, Fruitful and Satisfied) part of the SFF Vision which is focused on married folks; this part is still in the pipeline for now.

 

THE SFF COMMUNITY

The SFF Community is an online platform where we are raising a generation of whole and productive Singles. Singles who are committed to:

– Make the most of Singlehood.
– Take full responsibility for their lives – where they are today and how they want the rest of their lives to play out.
– Be people of influence wherever they find themselves.
– Change the negative narrative about Singlehood.
– Re-write the negative marriage stories we have today with their power and exemplary marriages when they get married.

It is basically designed to help and support Singles to live fruitful and fulfilled lives before and after “I Do”. Every month we work with a theme, and then discuss sub-topics aligned with that theme throughout the month. We also bring in expert facilitators for each topic of discourse, if we don’t have any capable facilitator within the community.

For instance, our theme for April was “Understanding singlehood”. In May and June, our theme was, “The Single and his Emotions.” And in this month of October, we are discussing “The Single and his finances.” We also read a book or see a movie aligned with the theme for each month.

The SFF Community is currently run on whatsapp and we take in new members at the beginning of each month.


SINGLE LADIES OUT THERE CAN BE SINGLE, FRUITFUL, AND FULFILLED, WHILE WAITING FOR ‘MR RIGHT’…. 

First, SFF is not a female thing, it’s for both males and females. This is why when we launched the first part of the SFF Vision – the interview series; we got 5 males and 5 females to share their thoughts on the topic: Is it possible to be single, fruitful and fulfilled? This is also why the SFF community is for both males and females, because at the end of the day an SFF lady needs to marry an SFF man for both of them to successfully graduate into the MFS life – the Married, Fruitful and Satisfied life.

So while waiting for marriage, both the lady and the gent need to practice Part 3 of the SFF book – what to do before “I do”:

– Explicitly define what being Single means to them. Until you define a thing rightly, you cannot treat it right, even if that thing is yourself. This is the first step to being single, fruitful and fulfilled.

– Take responsibility for their individual lives. You cannot effectively take responsibility for others – a future spouse or kids, if you are not responsibly taking care of yourself as a single.

– Manage their relationships. You cannot effectively manage a lifelong relationship with a future spouse and in-laws, if you are not currently managing your (in)formal relationships well.

– Find fulfillment. This is the most interesting part. A lot of people suspend fulfillment, waiting for marriage to happen first. Then marriage happens, and it’s still not there so they wait for the kids to arrive, and so on. Truth is marriage does not give fulfillment neither is fulfillment tied to any one or any achievement. It’s something you find and cultivate NOW.

All these are explained with practical steps on how to achieve them in the SFF book.

CHALLENGES FACED 

Initially when I started the SFF Series and the SFF book, some people accused me of preaching against marriage and all. So the initial challenge was resistance to the message. But with consistent sharing and more details, a lot more people now understand what it is about and are buying into the vision.

The second challenge which I am still facing is getting the SFF book into more hands. Some people complain about the cost is high, which I believe is affordable. The SFF hardcopy is N2,000, while the SFF e-book is available in 2 options: buy from okadabooks at N1,000 or have the PDF sent to your email at N1,500.

So I’m praying to have sponsors who will buy in bulk and distribute; and also for opportunity to speak on bigger platforms from which I can reach more Singles and share the SFF good news with them. So far, I’ve mostly spoken to the youth arm of different churches and some online youth platforms where I am invited to speak.

 

PROJECTS AND ACTIVITIES

Most of my other projects are still in the pipeline. First, I’m planning an SFF hangout for Singles within Lagos where we can have a relaxed fun meeting to gist and learn. Proposed date is last week of November, though I haven’t made a public announcement yet.

I’m also working on my new book – Turning 28: My journey to true Singlehood, which will be launched in December.

I’m also working on an online course for Singles – Single, Fruitful, Sought-after (SFS); and an online course for writers and authors – The Profitable Author. I have noticed that a lot of writers publish their books/articles and then keep mute about them. Every article is an asset that can generate social and financial capital for the writer, so I’m putting together how to exploit this revenue option in an online course for writers.

 

GREATEST REWARD

The testimonials! My God! Nothing brings me more joy than when someone sends a message or puts a call across to express how my book or posts have helped them make a positive decision, take a bold step or just see things in an entirely new light.

One typical example is a Facebook friend, Blessing Best. We connected last year via Facebook when I was doing my book pre-launch campaign; she was one of the first people to pre-order. Once in a while, she’d ask me for some advice or the other. Then late last year, she sent me a message that the SFF Book gave her clarity on her own calling and today she runs a community for Singles with focus on Love and Relationships. Each time I see her progress and success, it makes me smile.

Some others have started their businesses, some have published their own books, which they’d been afraid to publish, some have left relationships which were not helping their destinies and so many other testimonies.

MY BRAND IN 5 YEARS TIME… 

In 5 years time, I see the SFF Vision as a Global mindset. I see a scenario where people will organize SFF groups and clubs using the SFF book as guide. I see my Team and I being invited to different nations across the globe to speak on how to live a whole and productive life before and after marriage.

I see organizations and individuals sponsoring their staff and loved ones to take the SFS course and other SFF materials.

As an Editor and writer, I see Kompendia Concepts as a sought-after brand for the elite, to handle all their content, editing and publishing works.

ON GIVING UP…

Yes, especially in running the SFF Community. I’ve never wanted to be at the forefront of any movement. So sometimes when people are not active in the group, leave the group or it appears that all my efforts are not bearing any fruits, I feel really discouraged.

Mercifully, God always inspires one or more persons at that instant to send a heart-warming message or call to express how the SFF Community has been a blessing to them even though they’ve been ghost members.

These days, such hardly gets to me. I have learned that God is the Founder of the SFF Community and I am just the Steward, so I daily pray over what He has given to me and trust Him to bring the results and increase.

MY INSPIRATION…

My parents; when I look at how much they have invested in me, I am fired up to be better and help them to enjoy their old age.

Jesus Christ; when I reflect on how He loves me shamelessly and desperately looks out for me to help me be all He wants me to be, I’m fired up to make Him proud of me.

My younger siblings – Mmeso, Victor and Chisom; I’m challenged to be the best I can be in order to help them reach their individual Zeniths faster, so they don’t waste as much time as I did, trying to figure out a lot of things.

 

I AM A WOMAN OF RUBIES

A Woman of Rubies is a treasure and an asset, I believe. She is one who lights up her environment with love and her commitment to help others become better. I am all these and more, so I am a Woman of Rubies.

 

WORDS OF ADVICE TO EVERY GIRL CHILD 

The theme for this year’s International day of the Girl is – With her: A skilled girlforce. And what I’ll like to share with every girlchild is this:

You are complete.

God has given you all the spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, psychological and social capacity that you need to excel in life.

Develop your skills, deploy your potentials, read, read, read, believe in God and believe in yourself, cultivate a personal relationship with God early, surround yourself with positive-minded people and finally, take small steps of faith towards achieving the dreams in your heart; clarity comes from doing, not from over-analyzing.

You can get my book, “Single, Fruitful, Fulfilled” from the following platforms:
1. Okadabooks – bit.ly/SFFonOkadabooks
2. RovingHeights – http://bit.ly/SFFonRH
3. Konga – http://bit.ly/SFFonKonga

Blog: www.distinguishedlives.wordpress.com
Instagram: @chinyeredistinguished | @kompendiaconcepts
Facebook: ChinyereDistinguished Anoke | Kompendia Concepts
Twitter: @CDistinguished
Email: chinyeredistinguished@gmail.com | kompendiaconcepts@gmail.com

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CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE RECEIVES THE ‘SPECIAL DISTINCTION FOR THOUGHT LEADERSHIP’ AWARD IN NEW YORK

On September 27th, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie received the Special Distinction for Thought Leadership Award during the 2018 Annual Awards Dinner of the Global Hope Coalition in New York City.

The Global Hope Coalition is a network of four nonprofit foundations in the United States, Europe, Asia and Africa dedicated to identifying heroes against violent extremism and amplifying their work.

Taking place on the sidelines of the United Nations General Assembly’s 73rd session, the event paid tribute to several presidents and prime ministers for their “compassionate and dignified response” to the Syrian and Rohingya refugee crises.

See photos of Chimamanda at the event below.

Credit: Bella Naija
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GABRIELLE UNION REVEALS RELEASE DATE FOR HER NEW COLLECTION WITH NEW YORK & COMPANY

In August 2017, Gabrielle Union designed a collection for New York & Company. Gabrielle wanted to create pieces that were relatively affordable and also accessible to most people and the collection featured pieces that depicted Gabrielle’s personal style.

She has taken to Instagram to announce the release date for her new collection with New York and Co. The Being Mary Jane lead character wrote,

We’re back serving looks and range baby. Get ready to shop till you drop this Friday when my latest @nyandcompanycollection hits stores✨ #alltogethernow

Photo credit: Instagram @gabunion

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“I STAND FOR EVERYONE WHO IS UNABLE TO LIVE BEYOND THEIR PAIN” – EDEN ADAOBI ONWUKA

 

Cancer Survivor and life coach Eden Adaobi Onwuka shocked many when she revealed her ordeal with the dreadful disease few weeks ago. On January 7th 2017 , Eden was diiagnosed with cancer and for eleven months she went through intense treatment while also still trying to keep up with her daily activity. In her gripping memoir, I am More Than Body Parts, Eden writes of her experience in real time, right in the middle of her Cancer diagnosis and progression. She shares her daunting journey and how the mindset of being an overcomer has kept her spirit-woman at ease. Eden believes it is possible to be ‘Cancer-ed’ and not cancelled, and like any negative experience life brings, the response of the human spirit plays a pivotal role in restoration.
In her words “After a year of chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, physical therapy, hormonal therapy, countless needle pokes, hospital visits, side effects etc, I realize that daily choosing Joy kept me sane. Empowering others even as I fought the biggest battle of my life has revealed to me the unbreakable strength of the human spirit.
In commemoration of the world cancer month, I bring you the inspiring and life changing story of Courage in despair and Hope in adversity.

My Childhood
It was a beautiful closely knit family with brothers and sisters, born to parents who placed a high premium on education. Dad worked for Unilever, while Mum was an Educationist. Typical post colonial middled class family in Lagos State. I recall Fun trips to the Bar Beach, Amusement park and Trade fair. Then boarding school in a Federal Government Girls College in Kwara/Niger state.

Eden!
I am the middle child in a family of seven, I have a twin sister and I pretty much love to read, travel and volunteer. I’m easy going and friendly but love my quiet times, that is where I refuel as a creative person. I like to describe myself this way; I am from the East, born in the West, schooled in the North and served in the South, and i now live Western. Funny, but true plot twins. I begun my career with a brief stint at Shell Petroleum and have about 15 years corporate experience in financial services and consulting. Currently with a fortune 500 company and have my own Coaching business, having been certified by John C Maxwell.

The Cancer Journey
On January 7, 2017 I got a phone call which changed many things.
“We’re sorry to inform you that your Biopsy came back for Cancer…”
Cancer.
One word that was very alien to me. With no previous family history of cancer, and being relatively healthy, I was very surprised. I was a new Twin mum, my twin babies were just nine months when I had noticed a Lump and went to the for a routine check-up. A series of consultations later, then the shocking results. Can-cer? I was totally blindsided. Then angry, then sad, then confused. I honestly didn’t see this coming.
“Dear Lord, Why me?”
I let myself internalize this and it didn’t feel good. What do you do with a news like this? When the reality you see as a Positive person has no iota of Positivity in it?
After a few weeks I encouraged myself. I said Eden, ” Your perspective determines your narrative. What you magnify grows, what you simplify goes”. I asked God for strength to help me ‘find’ a Purpose in it. I remained focused on my assignment, hard as the next phases of my life was, I was going to walk in integrity before God regardless.
Today, I stand in awe of God’s grace, strength and power. I stand for everyone who was unable to live beyond their pain. For everyone fighting a secret battle, for everyone shamed by their scars, for everyone overwhelmed by sickness, for everyone silenced by affliction, for every warrior who gained (untimely) heavenly wings.

I decided to write about my journey in REAL-TIME, while going through an intense treatment (Tough): To show through my Story how finding and focusing on Purpose, helped me overcome. And to lend a voice to demystify the stigma attached to any cancer or breast cancer. Because anyone can write after they’re out of a storm, only revelation will make you write in the storm. I wrote to encourage you that you can feel helpless sometimes BUT you must never be hopeless.
After a year of chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, physical therapy, hormonal therapy, countless needle pokes, hospital visits, side effects etc, I realize that daily choosing Joy kept me sane. Empowering others even as I fought the biggest battle of my life has revealed to me the unbreakable strength of the human spirit.

Living and Thriving…
Restoration is a process, so some things take time. I humourosly say, it takes a while to put humpty dumpty back together again. Seriously though, I still have a few residual side effects from treatment like intermittent fatigue, hot flashes, born aches now and then. Then for any survivor of anything not necessarily cancer, surviving is the first aspect, living and thriving is the most important next phase. You grapple with one of the biggest ongoing mental battles, like Joyce Meyer calls it the ‘Battlefield of the mind’. It is in those silent moments when negative thoughts creep in or the enemy whispers to you that you’ll never be whole or pain free or have a full abundant life, that’s when you cant be silent. Therein lies the greatest battle- To embrace a ‘New normal’, and refuse to call it abnormal. Because after you survive, you gotta Thrive!

Inspiration behind my “tell it all” book
So after I received my shocking diagnosis from Kelsey Siebold hospital in Kingwood Texas, I got a second opinion from MD Anderson Cancer center Woodlands Texas, and the reality of it all dawned on me. I started looking for resources, like a book on this journey. Not just the medical info, that was everywhere on the internet, all kinds of fearful info. I was looking for encouragement from someone like me-African, Nigerian who had gone through it and at the time I didn’t find any. Some people blogged about their experiences, others mostly told their stories after everything had become perfect or cancer FREE and they were mostly non Africans like Tiffani Rose and Makosi Musanbasi. I decided to become the answer to a need I had which I believe countless others have or will have. In the early moments of adversity, after their diagnosis, for them to have a resource from someone who understands their journey and is connected to the similitude of their pain. Not theories but a lived experience. A book that peaks to the emotional aspect of this journey that is often ignored: how the mindset of an Overcomer can play a strong role in restoration. That is the why of the book. And i wrote it while going through treatment and battling cancer, when all i had was faith that I would prevail. The title came from a low moment in the beginning of the cancer treatment when the oncologist and surgeons has discussed the possibility that certain genetic results may mean bilateral mastectomy or double boob loss. I had a discouraging moment in the shower where in response to a negative voice of fear I boldly declared “I am more than Body Parts!” Which was based of the scripture that says ” man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that comes out from the mouth of God, I kept saying to myself, I am more than boobies, I am more than my hair etc. And I believe that we all must get to the place in our identity where nothing external, additional defines us. Our identity must become based on who God already says we are, in alignment to our Purpose regardless. We must work it from inside out. An unbroken spirit, a vibrant soul and hopefully a healthy body. Any other thing is an accessory. Eventually, genetic results were negative and the treatment plan didn’t require a bilateral so we had a segmental mastectomy.

Greatest Reward
Changed lives. People who try again after they had given up before. In the past 12 months, I have received inbox messages or private calls from four people who changed their minds about ending their lives because they read my Book, or a write up or listened to me speak. Precisely on my last birthday, a lady I haven’t even had the privilege to meet all the way from Nigeria wrote to me, in her words ” Eden, you talked me out of suicide”. That for me is the most compelling reason why I pour into people, coach, mentor or write.

Giving Up
I’ve experienced delays. After youth service 16 years ago waiting for a dream job that didn’t come for 2 years, waiting for a good man when i was in my thirties and the immediate prospects seemed like a joke. Being tempted to adjust my ambitions because of cultural pressure for marriage, thankfully I didn’t. I went abroad for my MBA which has been a long time personal goal, and in a stroke of God’s grace and serendipity my husband met, courted and married me towards the end of my post graduate program, exactly the kind of person I desired who got attracted to the very thing (goal getting/ambition) I had felt pressured to tone down. Last year, I almost ended my treatment when the side effects were uncomfortable. The temptation to give up is part of life. But we never give up because generations are tied to our rising.

Women who inspire me
I have a few, my mum Lady Oby Ike-Udemgba would be number one. Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, Bimbo Awosika, The women at Wimbiz and many others who are breaking frontiers in their industry’s. Joyce Meyer and Sherly Sandberg are people whose messages connect with my soul. I recommend them.

I am a Woman of Rubies
A rubies woman is anyone who uses the very things that was meant disempower her, to empower others. One whose confidence comes from a cause greater than herself.

To every woman going through same ordeal…..
Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t tone down your strengths, don’t make it easy for the glass ceilings or age old barriers to stick, you can have it all, it may require patience, unpopular decisions but walk in the truth of your beliefs. If you fall, get up, if your heart breaks, break boundaries. Whatever happens don’t stay down. Remember, no one can ‘use’ you without your consent, use what used you by learning from it, and growing imspite of it. Cancer survivors or those in the journey, I salute you, stay the course, your purpose is Greater, well beyond your pain. Ladies, please don’t ignore your bodies and mammograms, be proactive about health check ups.

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I BELIEVE THE MARRIAGE INSTITUTION IS UNDER ATTACK -SIJU YUSUF, AUTHOER- HAPPILY.EVER.AFTER.LIFE

Siju Yusuf is a relationship counsellor and writer whose articles have been featured in several online publications and websites. She currently works as a social media influencer and a contributor for several marriage and women based online magazines.

She is passionate to see people live out God’s plan for their relationships and marriages. Her debut book  Happily. Ever. After. Life, is a book on actualizing the fiery happily ever after life is targeted at unmarried partners and married couples.

She loves to listen and share real-life experiences with friends. She runs a blog where she typically shares her personal experiences in mundane every-day life, with the aim of identifying to her diverse audience and inspiring hope. She is married and blessed with a son.
In this interview Siju shares her passion and the reason why the increasing rate of divorce and bad marriages inspired her to write a book. In her words “I believe in relationships, I believe in marriages, I’m a big fan for love stories and happily ever afters”

Childhood Influence
I talked a lot as a child, I talked so much my parents said I would ask from time to time, ‘Am I talking too much?’ I guess my parents noticed the strength of a communicator in me and they encouraged me. They answered almost all the questions that I asked. They also invested in novels. I read a lot as a child and I remember writing a novel at 9 where I used big words like ‘Soliloquize’. I cannot remember in what context now. My friends thought it was too big to be relevant.
Also, I remember as a child, I loved giving people a sense of being, a sense of belonging. I seemed to always have the right words to cheer people on so even though I talked a lot, I also listened a lot, which are both key to what I do now.

Meet Me!
I am Siju Yusuf. A writer, a social media influencer and a passionate women health (psychology) activist. I have two masters degrees; one in human relations and the other in media and communication. I am an optimist and very passionate about drawing virtue even from mundane things. I am a wife and a mum, most importantly, I am a child of God. House flies are my greatest phobia (lol).
My Passion
I inspire. I speak. I write. I write on topical issues to influence rational thinking with the aim of inspiring a better people.

Why I wrote  “H.E.A.L”
Happily. Ever. After. Life, all about? In 2016, I woke up with a burden on my heart. There seemed to be so much divorce in the land and I knew the marriage institution was under heavy attack. Happily Ever After life is a book that marries real life experiences with the biblical illustration of marriage. It aims to help readers align, re-align to the intent of God concerning and also to wake up to the lies as postulated by the devil in this age. It’s available on amazon in ebook and paperback and a must have for every family especially newly weds.

Culture of reading as a challenge
The challenges are age-long. Interestingly because of my background, I tend to have majority of my audience from my home-country, Nigeria. The general belief is that Nigerian’s would rather watch than read. We prefer visual to textual. I am quite happy though that this is fast changing and more converts are arising. Writers are also finding new ways of interpreting graphics into texts.

 Quitting the banking sector for Media…
Interestingly, the move was not something I planned for. I knew it would happen, but not at the time it did. I was on my one year maternity leave when I returned to my first love (writing). It is safe to say many things happen when our minds are freer. I was on the phone to my life coach when she said ‘Siju, your maternity leave ends in a few months, why don’t you write something?’ I remember that night, when I ended the call, I wrote 19 full articles. It was as if I had been unleashed. After my leave. I tried to go back to banking (for the money) but obviously God has other plans.  I don’t regret it one bit. A lot has happened since then that would not have happened if I was still a banker. My life has been much more impactful. Purpose has been redefined and I am maximising potentials.

Other Projects & Activities
There is HUG Initiative. A non-profit organisation established to support people psychologically and materially.  I run a blog and also contribute on other blogs.

Greatest Reward
Thank you! The look of fulfilment and the gratitude in the words ‘Thank you’ is enough to push me to do more.

Where I see my brand in 5 years
I honestly cannot put into words the visualised 5 years. The vision is beyond me. The feat that I have achieved today is not something I would have thought of a few years ago. I know the vision is big and we are very prepared for whatever is ahead.

Not Giving up
Giving up is relative. I have felt dejected sometimes but never to give up. I am driven not by physical strength but by psychological awareness. I am quite aware about the strength of our minds. Whatever is cooked in that space channels the course of our actions therefore, I pay a lot of attention to what happens there.

Inspired by Purpose
The realization that I am supposed to live purposefully and to impact others. There are a lot of women I admire their strengths. Too many to mention.

What makes me a woman of Rubies
Crisp. My renewed mind.

Final words
My message for women most times stems from the obvious, the patriarchal nature of the world we live. Rather than fight this fact, rather than expend energy on unnecessary debates, let us renew our minds. The freedom women seek starts from their minds.

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