womenofrubies Archives

In self development April 12, 2018 By Women of Rubies

SIJU YUSUF: THE AILMENT THAT ROTS THE SYSTEM- SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE UNIVERSITY

By my 5^th year at the university, I had grown enough balls and bravery to look him in the eye and say ‘go to hell’. It was not always like that. For 2 years, I cowered like a coward.

‘Prof S wants to see you’ The course rep said over my shoulders. I turned around to be sure he was addressing me. ‘What for?’ I asked.

‘He did not say. He just said to bring you to his office at the end of the lecture’.

My instinct told me I was about to be sexually harassed again by this one. I was not surprised. This would not be my first experience, I was only taken aback as the professor in question is highly respected for his intellectual prowess and definitely the mould of grey hair that stuck above his Ankara blouse. I did not even realise how much of grey hair he had until ‘we’ began to tussle in his office later.

‘No problem’ I retorted as I typed away frantically on my phone. ‘I need to inform my friend, she has been waiting for us to go back to the hostel together’ ‘Don’t worry, her class is on the same block as the prof’ I added.

The course rep and I walked to prof’s office in silence. He tried to make small talk but I was not in the mood. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts of how I would scale through yet another harassment. I had also sent SOS to my friend who had not actually been waiting for me to leave wherever she was and meet me in front of the professor’s office. We were planning on how to frustrate the randy man in our little way.

‘Hey, I am so sorry I kept you waiting’.

‘It’s okay, I just finished a lecture as well’. She responded.

‘Professor S wants to see me’. I continued. ‘I won’t be long’

At that moment, I wondered why my girlfriend was not into theatre art or some form of screen play. She acted so convincingly one would think she had actually been waiting.

The course rep knocked on the door, curtseyed and beckoned on me to come in. I looked back briefly at my friend and did the sign of the cross. She would be outside till she hears a scream or bang and then knock raptly on the door till the lecturer opens. And, I will escape. Plan, check.

‘Good evening sir’.

‘Elelubo, how are you? Course rep, please excuse us’. The course rep exited the office as the randy old man told me to bolt the door. Like a lamb going to slaughter, I stood up and bolted the door, my destiny now in whatever game I could play behind those doors.

‘You know what I want I’m sure. I have been informed you would not be of much trouble’.

If this would help understand where I was coming from, I did not have too many friends in class in my 2^nd year at the University. My friends were in other departments so I would usually dash off after lectures to be with them. When the man told me he had been informed of my waywardness (the inference I drew from his statement), I was beyond gobsmacked. Why would a course rep who barely knew me sell me so cheaply?

‘Daddy, that’s not true’ I knelt as I feigned a cry.

‘I am your daughter. I don’t know who told you that and why they said that about me but it isn’t true sir’

‘Stop calling me Daddy’ he bellowed, ‘I am not your Dad’

At this point, I knew whatever script we had (my friend and I) written was not going to work. This was clearly a man on heat, bent on having his way.

Change of tactics…..

‘I beg in the name of God, don’t do this to me’

He moved very close to my face. His groin area directly on my face as he cupped the back of my head and repeated hit my face on what was now a hard-on.

I sprung to my feet and made for the door, the same one I bolted myself. He came after me. Oozing like a goat on heat. My mind darted to the lecture on MUSK GLAND and I managed a giggle, of course, in my head. This is going out of hand.

‘Come back here! Behave yourself! What is wrong with you?’

‘No Sir, no sir’ I muttered amidst fake tears. Why the tears never became actual is beyond me to this day. Maybe because I thought we had nailed a plan so I was sure of an escape. What I didn’t realise at that point was that the thick curtains and heavy doors in Prof S’s office were sound proof or at least noise barriers.

He launched at me, pinning me to the wall, and tried to get my face in a kiss position. Then I fought, the tussle was becoming very real with loud bangs and my friend has not come to door. I fought really hard. I started to push him. I kicked his legs even.

When he saw that I was not backing down, he relaxed. He told me I had hit him. I said sorry. Anything to placate him and earn my freedom will do at this time.

‘Are you sure you will not give in?’ ‘Remember you have CRP 203, CRP 302, CRP 401. You are stuck with me for at least another 3 years’.

‘God will help me’. I had said this without thinking it would infuriate him further.

‘Get out!’ ‘Get out of my office!’

I was by the door all along. I quietly unbolted the door and stepped out. It seemed like I had been in there for hours. My friend said I was barely 7 minutes. She said she thought we were having a conversation.

She was there for me but she never heard the bangs!

I escaped that one again.

How I faired, developed guts and graduated is a story for another day but in my 5^th year, I made him pay.

Today again, I wish to spotlight the ailment that would have been better off terminal but still persists. The same one that has defied several measures. The very one that permits girls and boys to offer monetary kindness to lecturers in exchange for good grades. This one that allows young girls offer their bodies for marks and very outrageously, encourage young boys offer girls as slaughter lambs to randy lecturers.

My course rep denied ever telling the Professor anything about me but honestly, he can try another line. His come-back was so unconvincing, I wondered how many more he had offered.

There is too much rot in this system. The very root of what ails the system is difficult to challenge.

Maybe, just maybe, social media shaming and naming will do it. But in the meantime, we will not stop this sensitization and empowerment.

#HEAL

#HEALoclock

In Career Gems April 11, 2018 By Women of Rubies

CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE THOUGHT HER BOOK ‘AMERICANAH’ WAS GOING TO TURN OUT TERRIBLE

Speaking about completing Half of a Yellow Sun in her little studio apartment, Adichie said:

“It was so emotionally draining. I cried… Days would pass and I wouldn’t shower. I wouldn’t pick up my phone.”

According to her, Half of a Yellow Sun was the book she felt her “ancestors wanted [her] to write”. So, after she had completed it, she felt free to loosen up as a writer; a decision she thought her third book, Americanah, would suffer for.

About her state of mind while writing Americanah, Adichie continued:

“I was no longer feeling this sense of being the dutiful daughter of literature and that I wanted to follow the rules. You know what? I felt I had earned the right to write a terrible book.”

Well, she didn’t end up writing that terrible book she expected — instead, she created her most successful work yet, which she describes as her “fuck you” book. You can read a little excerpt from the interview, which is set to drop on April 19, right here.

In Career Gems April 11, 2018 By Women of Rubies

SCHOOL BOYS IN KENYA ARE BEING TAUGHT HOW TO DEFEND GIRLS AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT

According to a report by the Kenyan government and the United Nations, 75% of Kenyan children experience physical, sexual or emotional violence, according to the findings of the first nationwide household survey of more than 3,000 young people aged 13 to 24.

The good news is, Kenya is now doing everything possible to stop the assault against the female gender by the male gender. School boys in Kenya are now being taught how to defend girls against sexual assault.

Collins Omondi, the co-ordinator of a program called ‘No Means No Worldwide’, run by the charity Ujamaa Africa, teaches adolescent boys to stand up against violence toward women. Collins is reinforcing positive masculinity in these young boys.

Researchers from Stanford University, University of Nairobi, and United States International University-Africa have found the training to be highly effective in improving attitudes toward women and increasing the likelihood of successful intervention. The successful intervention rate of boys that go through the training when witnessing physical or sexual assault also went up by 185%, from 26% to 74%, according to their study to be published later this year in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence.

Interventions in verbal harassment also increased, and rape by boyfriends and friends of girls in schools where ‘No Means No Worldwide’ operates dropped by 20 percent, from 61 to 49 percent, the researchers said.

The program also runs vocal and physical trainings for girls; and is expanding internationally.

According to Ujamaa’s data, many of the schoolboys start out with very negative attitudes toward women, the trainers found, believing that it is legitimate to rape girls who they take on expensive dates or who are out after dark. Before the class, more than 80 percent of boys said that girls wearing miniskirts were inviting boys to have sex with them. Afterwards, it dropped to 30 percent.

Every secondary school child in Nairobi – some 130,000 students – will undergo the six-week program by the end of 2017 with funding from the British government, which is focusing aid on finding out what works to prevent violence against women.

Source: konbini.com

In Career Gems April 10, 2018 By Women of Rubies

18-YEAR-OLD NIGERIAN BECOMES THE WINNER OF THE VOICE UK 2018

18-year-old Ruti Olajugbagbe has been crowned the winner of The Voice UK.

Fending off competition from Donel Mangena, Belle Voci and Lauren Bannon in the series finale, she eventually was named the winner as was announced by the programme’s host Emma Willis.

Olajugbagbe, who has won a record deal, thanked Sir Tom, her coach and mentor, for his support and for believing in her.

Her version of Dreams by The Cranberries will be her debut single, to be released immediately after the ITV programme’s finale.

Some of the songs she sang beautifully during the show were “If You’re Not The One by Daniel Bedingfield and Dreams, her “song of the series” , after she and Mangena were revealed to be in the final two.

She will get a £100,000 cash prize and a record deal with Polydor Records. Her first single has also been made available as soon as the Voice final finished on Saturday night.

In self development April 10, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MERCY AIGBE TALKS ABOUT THE DANGER OF STAYING IN AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE

Actress, Mercy Aigbe who was shaken by the news of the death of upcoming Nigerian singer, Alizee, has taken to her Instagram page to kick against domestic violence.

In her emotional and educating post, she advised women not to be comfortable staying in abusive relationships but to run for dear life.

She wrote:

“It’s a Shame how people allow the society to dictate for them!!!! It is your life! And trust me your life matters!….. Pls flee from an abusive relationship/marriage, no one has the right to physically abuse their partner regardless!!!!!….

Talkless of taking another person’s life 😡…. I am so pained with this story I saw online, Jesus!!!! Why will someone take the life of his wife and beautiful innocent child! Why 😥😥😥😥😥……
Pls if are reading this and you are in an abusive relationship/marriage pls run for your dear life before it’s too late! Let people say whatever they want to say, na dem get their mouth!!!!”

In Career Gems April 10, 2018 By Women of Rubies

17-YEAR OLD NIGERIAN GIRL GETS ACCEPTED INTO 19 TOP UNIVERSITIES IN THE WORLD

The Brighton College student says in an interview with CNN, that her passions include music and she is still a bit undecided about what she’ll study in university.

See the video below

https://youtu.be/JD0u8RSXQfo

In self development April 9, 2018 By Women of Rubies

THERE IS A NEW INSTAGRAM MOVEMENT RAISING WOMEN’S AWARENESS OF THEIR WORTH

British actress and TV presenter Jameela Jamil has launched a heart-warming Instagram account (followed by more than 11,000 subscribers): ‘I Weigh‘.

To promote women’s worth and encourage men and the media to take an interest in more than just women’s bodies, Jameela is calling on women to post selfies showing that “they’re worth more than what they weigh”.

On March 16th, Jameel posted a picture of herself in which she described her “I Weigh”. Following a positive response to the post from the women following her, she decided to open a dedicated Instagram account that same day:

“This post of mine started a mad wave of amazing women posting their own back to me in our revolution against shame and self-hatred over our looks, perpetuated by the media. I have received thousands and they are too beautiful to not celebrate. I have started an account called @I_Weigh to post them all. Send me yours to that account!

I’m tired of seeing women just ignore what’s amazing about them and their lives and their achievements, just because they don’t have a bloody thigh gap. The link is in my bio but please follow the account so we can start this revolution properly and make the fashion and media industry see how many of us are done with this sh*t.”

Since creating the account, the star posts daily. In her own “I Weigh”, Jameela wrote: “I weigh: Lovely relationship. Great friends. I laugh every day. I love my job. I make an honest living. I’m financially independent. I speak out for women’s rights. I like my bingo wings. I like myself in spite of EVERYTHING I’ve been told by the media to hate myself about.”

Far from posting kilos, scales and perfect photos of models, women are daring to bare themselves on Instagram and to publicize both their positive and negative traits.

traits.

Credit: konbini.com

In Career Gems April 9, 2018 By Women of Rubies

ACTRESS OMONI OBOLI HAS BEEN SELECTED FOR DESMOND TUTU LEADERSHIP FELLOWSHIP 2018

The participants, numbering 27, were selected from among 300 nominees from over 30 African countries, including those nominated by sponsoring organisations – Allen & Overy, Barclays Africa Group, Centum, GlaxoSmithKline, Investec, Rio Tinto, and ThomsonReuters. They represent 10 African countries and various industries and are aged between 30 and 39.

The fellowship provides participants with intensive learning and broad experience on the principles and application of leadership, an opportunity to explore the issues and specific characteristics of leadership in Africa, including the global challenges and dimensions of an African leader.

See her Instagram post below

In Career Gems April 9, 2018 By Women of Rubies

FIRST LADY OF AKWA IBOM STATE, MRS MARTHA EMMANUEL BUILDS 24 HOUSES FOR WIDOWS

The First Lady of Akwa Ibom, Mrs Martha Emmanuel, has built and furnished 24 bungalow houses for widows and widowers in the state since 2015.

Mrs Emmanuel disclosed this during the maiden edition of Eket Women’s Day Celebration in Eket Local Government Area of the state on Saturday.

She said that the houses were built and furnished through the Family Empowerment and Youth Re-Orientation Initiative (FEYReP), her pet project.

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that Mrs Emmanuel commissioned a fully furnished two-bedroom bungalow for a widow, Mrs Adiaha Udo, in Ede Obok in Eket during the occasion.

Mrs Udo was earlier living in a shack for over 10 years.

She said that FEYReP was providing shelter to the hopeless, succour to widows, restoring hopes and touching the lives of most vulnerable people across the three senatorial districts of the state.

“The aim is to create a robust economic empowerment for families and re-orientate the youths to eschew all form of moral decadence,” she said.

Mrs Emmanuel advised Eket women to form cooperative groups so as to benefit from the State Government empowerment programme.

She also inaugurated a staff canteen, office block and 10 mini buses to convey staff to work.

According to her, the gesture is to complement the developmental strides of her husband.

She also donated N3 million to support the project for Eket women, saying that women are worth celebrating because they are pace setters.

The Chairman of Eket Local Government Council, Mr Frank Archibong, said that Eket women were celebrated because of the critical role they played in the development of the area.

He said the pet project of the governor’s wife was focused on providing economic alternatives to people and families who hitherto had been injured by poverty.

“Through FEYReP, you have built and furnished 24 houses for widows and widowers in order to alleviate their poverty and suffering,” he said.

While thanking Mrs Emmanuel for extending the building of houses to Eket , Archibong described Mrs Emmanuel as a “life changer”.

“We, as Eket people, are very happy for the house you have built and furnished, through FEYReP, for one of our widows, popularly known as `Adiaha Ntiin’.

He said that Emmanuel’s commitment to the economic empowerment of Eket people had continued to manifest in the various life-touching policies and programmes of his administration.

Mrs Bright Archibong, the wife of the council chairman, said that Eket Women’s Day Celebration was important not only for Eket women but for all women who seek to establish the fact that women are pacesetters for sustainable progress.

She underscored the importance of women, saying that women are home makers and nation builders.

“The celebration is significant because it affords Eket women the opportunity to reflect on their activities and the progresses they have made so far,” she said.

Rep. Ekpoatai Uwoidighe said that she has also attracted development projects worth over N400m to Eket.

Uwoidighe donated kitchen utensils to the widow and promised to give her N10,000 every month for her upkeep.

Responding, the beneficiary expressed appreciation to God for making the governor’s wife to remember her in time of need.

Mrs Udo thanked the wife of the governor for her kind gesture, saying that the Mrs Emmanuel had put roof on her head and smile on her face.

“I am also very grateful to Mr Archibong for facilitating the building through Her Excellency’s pet project FEYReP,” she said.

News Credit: Pulse News

In Interviews&profile April 7, 2018 By Women of Rubies

#INTERVIEW: THE GREATEST REWARD I RECEIVE FOR WHAT I DO IS WHEN CHILDREN APPROACH ME AND TELL ME THAT I MADE STEM FUN FOR THEM – ADETOLA SALAU

Adetola Salau is a global educator, Engineer and the author of more than eight books, one of which has been critically acclaimed as a roadmap for transforming our educational system; “Re-engineering minds for innovation”
She is the Founder and Director of Carisma4U Educational Foundation, a social innovation enterprise that focuses on the transformation of the educational system especially STEM education in Nigeria and Africa as a whole. She has a B. Sc in Chemistry from Fordham University, New York, with a medal as the best student in Chemistry. She later went on to get a M.Sc in Chemical Engineering and another in Engineering Management from Syracuse University in New York. She is currently working on a PhD in Chemical Engineering with a specialty in Environmental Engineering.
Adetola worked for the City of New York Board of Education as well as taught in California, South Carolina and North Carolina respectively. She has taught a variety of students from pupils in the 6th grades to teaching at Fordham University as an Adjunct Lecturer. She is passionate about education (STEM education especially) and is an advocate for education reform globally most especially in Africa.
She is driven by the desire to help students in Africa become future ready and innovate for their own economic prosperity (using STEM Education-STEM stands for Science Technology Engineering Mathematics.) Tola shares her story in this motivating interview

Being aware of environmental issues from childhood
I was raised by academic parents- Professors who were dedicated to giving back to the community and held education in high esteem. They believed that service was what each human owed other humans. I joined Red Cross as a pre-teen because I wanted to ease the suffering of others and when I was in college, I continued to volunteer to shelters and work as a mentor to young children. I learned that it was better to focus upon serving others than dwell upon my own life’s issues.
As a teenager, I was aware of environmental issues impacting the planet because my parents were environmentalists and also when I stared at the blackish water of Bonny as a teen. I was angry and sad at the same time at the pervasive pollution that was been inflicted upon our environment. I took it hard because I loved the land of Bonny, her people are my people (on my grandmother’s side) and from my parents dedication to environmental causes and gleaning from the materials strewn about our home, I knew that the damage was extensive.
I realized that if something wasn’t done about cleaning up the soil and rivers, cleaning up the oil spills being my motivation for desiring to study Chemical engineering.
I began to think like an advocate from an early age looking back, I have always been drawn to helping the underdog or rooting for them in stories that I read.

Meet Me
I am a Global Educator, a Speaker, Author, Social Entrepreneur, Innovator, and an Advocate of STEM Education. I am driven to push the revamping of our learning sector because of the horrible experiences I had in the STEM subjects when I was a young child in Nigeria and the opposite experience I had when my family and I relocated to America. I had a severe fear of math in my teenage years due to the horrible conditions I was taught in and how STEM subjects were made boring. Passionate educators made the difference for me which I wrote about in my book, “Re-engineering minds for innovation.” A huge part of my dedication in remaining a STEM student was due to the support of my enlightened parents; both Intellectuals- world renowned academicians of high repute who taught me to strive for excellence. My mother, Dr (Mrs) O.A. Salau is a climatologist and environmentalist who taught me to love STEM subjects fervently through application and my father, Prof A.T. Salau was an environmentalist with the United Nations, New York. He was the former Vice Chancellor of the University of Port-Harcourt.
I studied at Fordham University, New York, where I obtained a B.Sc in Chemistry with a medal as the best student in Chemistry. I went on to get a M.Sc in Chemical Engineering and another in Engineering Management from Syracuse University in New York. I am currently working on a PhD in Chemical Engineering.

Inspiration behind Carisma4U Educational Foundation
Carisma4U Educational Foundation is a social innovation enterprise that focuses on the transformation of the educational sector especially STEM education in Nigeria and Africa as a whole.
I founded Carisma4U educational foundation in 2015 to address this situation because I believe starting early in the educational system to create a lifelong love of STEM learning that will improve the probability that students will not become STEM adverse at the later stages of their tertiary education.
I am working on creating a new paradigm for the way we approach STEM education with a greater emphasis placed on practical real life application that will bridge the gap between theory and practical, so we can engage our youths in developing solutions to issues that plague us.
I am driven by the desire to help students in Africa become future ready and innovate for their own economic prosperity using STEM and I works towards the emergence of a strong vibrant Africa through the effective utilization of education.
We need to call for the promotion of STEM education in schools.

Challenges
The challenges are enormous! Raising money for our advocacy efforts can be daunting but we press on because we know how critical the work we are rooting for is essential to the economic development of Africa, especially for the future of our children. Obstacles by people in the status quo who like how things are and don’t want them to change. The biggest challenge is the reformatting the mindsets of our students, their parents and teachers from mediocrity to desiring excellence. Excellence is one of my core values because I have seen the difference it made to my life as an educator, scientist and engineer. I have seen excellence transform the destiny of nations from places that people looked down upon to being highly respected. I have written over ten books to aid in spreading the STEM revolution I desire for Nigeria and Africa as a whole.

Passion for STEM
STEM is an acronym that stands for Science Technology Engineering and Math.
Activities that are STEM-based integrate these four areas of learning. STEM is vital to our future—the future of our country, the future of our region and the future of our children. Besides, STEM is everywhere ; it shapes our everyday experiences.
Science is our natural world— sun, moon and stars…lands and oceans…weather, natural disasters, the diversity of nature, animals (large, small, microbial plants and food…the fuel that heats our homes and powers transportation…
Technology means computers and smartphones, but it goes back to television, radio, microscopes, telegraph, telescopes, the compass, and even the first wheel.
Engineering encompasses designing buildings, roads, and bridges, and tackling today’s challenges of transportation, global warming and environment friendly machines, appliances and systems.
Mathematics is everywhere at the retail store, the bank, on tax forms, in dealing with investments and the family budget. Math is the mother of all the other STEM subjects because they depend on it. STEM is critical because it permeates all aspects of our lives.
Now how does STEM affect our children; their future readiness? STEM is their future—the technological era in which they live, their best career options lie around it. STEM Education encourages and bolsters future readiness. Students learn to problem solve as they research and follow processes for investigations. Whether it’s the Engineering Design Process, the Design-Thinking Process, or the Scientific Method, our students learn to collaborate with others; asking pertinent questions; assume leadership roles periodically; and try out lots of ideas to reach a solution.

Benefit of STEM to Nigerian students
STEM Education is of vital to our Nigerian students because;
There’s a shortage of STEM Job Professionals for a Rapidly increasing STEM Job Market. There is huge gap between jobs that are in high demand and the skills required to fill them – and the gap is only going to get worse grow if we keep doing nothing to stem it (excuse the pun.)
Also, Innovation will revitalize our economy. We all see the technological boom happening around us and it’s sweeping all of us in it’s wave. There are constantly new gadgets being designed every minute it seems and it’s hard to keep up with the latest trends. Yet, these trends are essential for the economy; jobs are created and money flows in circulation
STEM careers are truly “helping” professions that build communities and transform nations.

Other project and activities
We had STEM Day awareness outreaches last year and ran a STEM Bootcamp in August 2017. We are running the STEM Bootcamp again on the mainland of Lagos. We will be having a larger program in August 2018 for 100 children and it will integrate a lot of amazing, fun activities for our children in Lagos. On April 21st 2018, we will be having our first Annual conference- STEM Power where our ultimate goal is to enhance teachers’ interest and performance in teaching STEM courses while fostering STEM skills for their students that are important prerequisites for engineering, medical, science and computer science careers. The main activities of our social enterprise is i) Advocacy on STEM education ii) Training of Teachers iii) Development of STEM learning iv)STEM Kits procurement v)STEM Curriculum development vi) Educational Technology programs vii)STEM Bootcamps viii) STEM workshops/conferences ix) Carisma4U STEM Innovators Club and x) Mentoring of students

Reward
The greatest reward I receive for what I do is when children approach me and tell me that I made STEM fun for them after their teacher made it loathsome to them.
Carisma4u in five years
Carisma4U will be positioned as innovative and reliable educational resource born out of dedicated and diligent approach for shaping the future intellectual human capital; aligning to emerging global trends and aspirations.
We are working in phases; first phase will influence the system by activism and awareness for priming it to create a favorable disposition for the adoption of the concept. In the second phase the much needed support and resources for the concept is to be accumulated for the implementation of the concept. In the third phase the actors to the concept will be influenced for the adoption of the concept.

Giving up
My tag line or personal motto is “Nuquam Cede” it means Never give up in Latin. Giving up isn’t an option that I give myself. I might need a break or encouragement in whatever form that it appears, but I don’t allow myself to think of resignation.

I add value, I am a Woman of Rubies
A woman of rubies is a woman who adds value to her family, her community and nation at large. She is concerned about the wellbeing of others and works tirelessly to contribute her quota to making the world a better place. I am tenacious about this being a driving tenet in my life; to make a difference with the gifts that I have been bestowed with. To help our children have a better world than the one that we currently inhabit.

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