womenofrubies Archives

In self development July 2, 2018 By Women of Rubies

KEMI AMUSHAN: COMING OUT STARIGHT

I just want to ask one question from our men. Aren’t you guys tired of lying to us women?

I’m not just talking about the outright lies like I am into oil and gas and also investment banking/sales and marketing or saying “I used to date a model” and all those kind of crap.
I’m talking about the one big lie most men are committing everyday: Approaching women you’re attracted to as if sex is the last thing on your mind. You all know what I’m talking about I’m sure.

You’re standing behind some girl at dominos pizza and you have this conversation: “Hey, so which of them do you like”?
You don’t actually care about the flavour! What you’re really thinking is “God damn, you’re hot! I’d like to fling that menu off your hands and make sweet love to you, right here on this counter!” right? Lol.

The vast majority of men are so worried about letting their true desires be known that they get stuck talking about absolute rubbish that goes nowhere.
Men are afraid to be honest with women about feeling attraction and they believe that if they can just befriend the woman, maybe at some point down the line they’ll have a shot at sleeping with her.

Unfortunately, this strategy usually ends up with the guys being frustrated and alone.
The reason why that happens is because when you approach a woman in this manner, we know it’s inauthentic.
Women are a lot more intuitive than men and will know straight away that the guy is not being genuine.

Men feel kind of awkward for trying to make small talks.
There’s always a little voice in their head saying “You’re full of it.”
Guys are also worried about the lady finding out why he’s really talking to her.
And that’s assuming that the guy has even taken the step of starting a conversation.
Most men will just sit around and stare at the women. In either case, it’s a pretty far cry from telling the lady the truth.

Now most guys go out of their way to avoid telling women what they really want. It’s been taught that sex is this dirty thing men trick women into doing.

Men think that they’ve got to go out and buy women lots of drinks, hoping to get lucky. Well for some cheap ladies, it works.
Men have been programmed to think that if he went up to a woman and complimented her on her looks, she’d go mental.

But we love being complimented. In fact most women are extremely flattered to be approached in this manner.

I do actually like it. Lol. But most men worry if she’s got a boyfriend or if the guy actually came with her? Rejection?
If she has a boyfriend, she’ll let you know. That’s if you meet the sincere ones that just hang out with their friends to have fun not the ones hoping to catch a fish. So yes, it’s that simple.

In my little experience, it’s very rare that a woman would get upset over being approached in such a manner.
From many hundreds of such approaches, I don’t think I’ve actually met a woman that was even mildly irritated.

As far as rejection goes: So what? Who cares? Does it really matter what some woman you don’t even know thinks? Think of all the terrible tragedies going on in the world today.

Think about all the stuff that’s happened to you over your life. Can you really tell me that the opinion of a stranger you just met matters to you so much?
We spend ages getting ourselves ready to go out. Do you really think we don’t want you guys to notice we look good?

Let me let you in on a major secret: The vast majority of women are tired of their romantic prospects beating around the bush and trying to be their “friend.” They are even more tired of their male “friends” trying to get into their pants.
When you have the balls to actually approach a woman and make your intentions clear it really gets their attention. It is bold, ballsy, and honest. Even when they have a boyfriend.

So guys, next time you see a gorgeous woman, what should you do? Tell her exactly what you’re thinking and what you want.
It’s not about using pickup lines, it’s about making your intent clear to her. “Excuse me, you look absolutely amazing. I’d love to take you out for a drink some time. When are you available?”

Not all the girls you approach will be interested in you, and you won’t be interested in some of them either, but at least you tried and came from a place of strength.
You’ve made your intentions clear and the conversation is leading somewhere: a date between you and her. It’s not going to be a 45-minute conversation that goes nowhere and at the end she reveals she’s engaged.

As you get more comfortable with interacting with women in this way, more and more of them will be immediately turned on by you being confident enough to approach them in this manner.

By showing that you’re man enough to express your true desires and intentions, not only will she have more respect for you, but she will also appreciate your honesty.
She will either tell you she’s not interested, agree to the date, or engage you in a conversation for a bit so she can determine if she’s interested.
Being up front with women isn’t an exercise, it’s a way of life!
No matter how each individual interaction goes, you manned up, told the truth, and laid it all out on the line like a man and that’s a great place to start! Trust me.
Behaving in this type of authentic manner will massively increase your confidence in all other areas of life as well.

Connecting with women is only the beginning!

Source: Guardian Woman

In Interviews&profile June 30, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MANY YOUTHS VENTURE INTO ABUSING DRUGS OUT OF FRUSTRATION, IDLENESS AND JOBLESSNESS- OLABISI OLATUNDE

Olatunde Olabisi Hawwau is a young, dynamic and resonate Nigerian. The flair for creative writing and the zeal for giving back to the society led her into studying mass Communication at the Lagos State Polytechnic where she is currently a student of Higher National Diploma Programme. OLABISI being a motivational speaker with great interest in leadership skills is also an agent of positive change who is very passionate about good governance and transparency..
She is a girl child advocate and tailored her strength towards teens mentorship and education.

The aim to empower the new generation birthed Step Up Foundation which was Olabisi’s brainchild through her love for humanitarian services.
An organization that focuses on empowering young women and driving the youths towards personal development and nation building, and most importantly helping the less privileged through empowerment. She recently launched the #StepUpagainstDrugAbuse campaign that went viral on social media where she educated the youths and society at large on the topic and also created awareness. Olabisi shares her inspiring story with me in this exclusive interview.

Childhood Influence
Growing up was quite tough and rough and my parent especially my mum taught me how to be STRONG in the face of all difficulties. She also taught us to share what we have with the world no matter how so little it may be.
This prepared me to always ensure that I share my little knowledge with the world, My childhood experience helped sharpened my preparedness into doing all that I do to help and contribute to the development of my community and society. Even when I never had any idea about what volunteering means but I have learnt to always step in for people who are sick and help lessen their problems if not totally solved.
While growing up, my mum would make us share our food with neighbours even when the food is so little, she would encourage us to help with assignments of other children and help the old ones in our area to fetch water, all these we did without expecting anything in return.
So, it became my way of life and got me all along while growing which metamorphosed into becoming an habit to help others even when they do not call for it.
Therefore, I can boldly say that my childhood experiences contributed immensely and actually prepared me for what I am doing right now and have been the drive towards all the idea of selfless act.

Meet me
My name is Olatunde Olabisi Hawwau. I am the founder of Step Up Foundation. I am a motivational speaker with great interest in developing leadership skills. I am an agent of positive change who is very passionate about good governance and transparency and I believe change start with me.I am committed towards rendering selfless services through volunteering of which I had effectively and distinctively volunteered for different reputable organisations such as Better society begins with me, Enough is enough Nigeria, Sickle cell aids foundation (Lagos), Brain builder international, Girl hub Africa, Eagle Foundation for Humanity, Ladies with Radiance, project Revamp Africa, to mention a few.
The flair I have for creative writing and public relations led me into studying Mass Communication which I am currently running a Higher National Diploma programme at the Lagos state Polytechnic.

Step Up foundation
The quest to put smiles on the faces of many, most especially the less privileged and love to empower the new generation inspired me start step up foundation. After much brainstorming, an idea popped up that since the motive of the team is to step up to help another and charge people to stop complaining about the society but to step up and join in making it happen for others. Hence the name Step Up Foundation became visible.
Step Up Foundation focuses on empowering young women and driving the youths towards personal development and nation building and most importantly helping the less privileged through basic educational tools which is in line with (SDG 4 – QUALITY EDUCATION), creation of awareness and empowerment programs
Since inception, Step Up Foundation has always call on vibrant and purpose driven youth to join in promoting selfless act in their society. It also encourages the introduction of positive attitude into the society by staging peaceful campaigns to enlighten the youths about volunteering and humanitarian services.

Combining school with work
There is something I have learnt so far in life and that is knowing how best to use your time. My work and schooling are two different things of which I set out the time for each. One is not affecting the other and that is because I set my priority right and straight.
When it is time to give back to the society I do that effectively well, and when time comes to study I focus on that too without limitation. Everything boils down to know what my priorities are and going for it.
Another thing that is helping me cope with the work and studies is my supportive team members. Even if I am not available my mind is always at rest because Step Up Foundation is in good hands. So, God blessed me with very supportive team members who take the vision of step up foundation as their own.These have in doubt been helping me tremendously to balance work and school.

Decision to sensitize the society on drug abuse
The drug abuse campaign focuses on educating the people on the effect of abusing drugs and how dangerous it is to their health and psychological well-being. The aim of the campaign is to influence the youths and everyone engaging in the misuse of drugs on the reasons they need to see beyond their limitations and despise drug abuse. Also, to encourage parents and guardians on proper and adequate care for their children.
Most importantly the sensitization was aimed to achieve a society free of drug abuse, more reason we keep saying it is a collective effort to curb this menace that have eaten deep in the souls of our youths.
However, the inspiration behind this campaign was my encounter with a very young lady taking marijuana and a recent documentary on codeine diet I saw. I was debated and disturbed to witness the derailing path which our promising youths most especially have embarked on. Then I realized that social media is a strong tool in the hands of Nigerian Youths of which I can use this medium. This was the main reason we adopted several platforms on social media to reach out to people on the effect and defects of drug abuse and we were glad of the positive attitude the campaign received from the public and the impacts on the target audience. This campaign also got us featured on a blog called Blackbox Nigeria and here we are again on women of rubies,

Challenges
A problem free life is an illusion. We all at a point face challenges and that is what makes life interesting when we overcome them. First and foremost funding this is always a challenge for most startups and nonprofits. Secondly, the difficulty of convincing corporate organisation to sponsor our events . When we started we propose to feed 1000 orphans in three states and our budget was 500,000. We started contributing within ourselves to finance the project but with the economic meltdown and coupled with the fact that most volunteers are student we couldn’t achieve anything with this idea. However, aborting the project doesn’t mean we didn’t achieve it, Better society begins with me did a street Christmas fair by feeding the kids on the street on Christmas day, we raise little money and send to them as a way for contributing to the society. Also the challenge of assembling volunteers for our projects

Volunteering for notable organizations
I live with this philosophy that you can’t say you live a worthwhile life if during your stay on earth you don’t help other people grow, I love helping but since I don’t have the capacity in cash as of the moment to help people why not offer my kind which is in my capacity to help others grow. That is just why I volunteer for organisation in order to reach out to people.
You see, volunteering to me is a win-win cause. While helping others you are also getting help by developing your skills one may not even think of having. The drive has always been to help and show love as much as I can. That is why you see me joining other organisations and it has been a wonderful experience for me.

Other projects and activities
After we had the online media campaign against Drug Abuse we are currently on school tours to educate the young ones on the side effect of drug abuse and teenage pregnancy in Osun state, Osogbo to be precise. Also we are planning to stage a walk against Drug Abuse in Lagos by July with focus on market place and where we can get handful of youths for positive impartation.
Also, our “Cloth and Feed The Street” will be coming up later in this year. It is project proposing to cater for 500 children living on the street. We are open to partnering with other organisations whose vision are in line with ours to reach out to people .

Greatest Reward
I believe reward comes from God and all actions are directed to be selfless without expectation of monetary or recognition from anywhere. The reward received during the course of doing my humanitarian acts may not be materially inclined but if we can count lives impacted as reward then I will say that is the greatest reward so far. People have been getting in touch on how I have impacted them through posts on my social media handles and through step up foundation.
We might not be able to help all but the little we can do we will do it with all our hearts. If lives are impacted and souls are save from going astray through our little acts no reward best suit that.
Having this opportunity to feature on women of rubies is part of reward of encouragement and a call to do more.

Step Up foundation in five years
In five years, I see step up foundation on the world map as one of the leading NON governmental organisation. I see step up foundation providing shelters for the homeless in African, I see us providing jobs that would be a point of reckoning for many.
I see step up foundation in a good place in five years with enhanced vision. In five years I see step up foundation giving life transforming opportunities to young women in Africa countries, giving voices to the voiceless. Providing quality education and helping people have a better life. I see step up foundation achieving more and more by the time we will look back to count the numbers of lives that have been positively impacted, it would be overwhelming.

Dear Mr. President,
I pray this day comes, if i ever had the opportunity to meet the president on this cause, here are what to tell him:
Your Excellency sir, based on the effects of drug abuse among the youths of today I will advise that more attention be focus on this, because youths are the leaders of tomorrow which is today. To end this menace, youths need to be adequately sensitized and given reasons to stay out of drugs by providing more job opportunities. .
Most youths in the country venture into abusing drugs out of frustration idleness and joblessness. An idle hand they say is a devil’s workshop, you will agree with me that youths are characterized with impatience of change, curiosity, and zealousness. They have different aspirations but the unavailability of grounds and platforms visualize them get them frustration and could possible lead them into drug abuse which is neither the solution nor the right thing though.
Sir, the decision which had been implemented to ban some pharmaceutical companies that are producing drugs that are capable of causing damage to the Nigeria youth is a laudable step but there still more to do to put an end to this life threatening myth.
Also, having rehabilitation centres that will help the youths who have engage in this act get proper care so as to be useful to the society is very important. Let us have a standard rehabilitation centres that will help the youths find their ways back and pick up their broken pieces.
More so, grassroots education is important too, therefore no stone should be left unturned in putting a fight up to end the menace of drug abuse claiming the lives of our future leaders. Educational groups should be formed and agencies seeing to the control of drugs under your authority should take significant steps and re strategize to ensure that everyone abides by the rules and regulations guiding the use of drugs. Fines and prosecutions may be adopted caution anyone found guilty of abusing drugs.
I want to believe that if all of these are taken into cognizance, the death rate tool towards the youth caused by the effect of drug abuse would be marginalized.

Giving up
Oh yes, there have been so sometimes I feel like giving up when things seem not to be just right and the passion and strong determination towards selfless service keep me going stronger than imagined. This thought could be inevitable in a man’s life and mine is not an exception but I never gave as I continued pushing.
Here are some instances the thought flashed. One major incident occurred when I and my team proposed an outreach to feed one thousand orphans in three different states in Nigeria, we started the plan much earlier so as not to be caught unaware, but unfortunately the project was eventually cancelled when all places solicited for funds to push through the project proved abortive.
This period really make me have a second thought if I can actually achieve aim set out for Step up foundation and even for myself.
All of these I later realized that Roses cannot always come without Bruises. Then with consistency and hard work we restrategized and I refused to let a NO or closed doors stop my aims from achieving them.

My Inspiration
My mother has always been my inspiration to be a better version of myself. I am convinced beyond any reasonable doubt that if my mother had the opportunity to acquire formal education, she would be among the leading women in the country because of her strong nature and positive vibes. She will always challenge and encourage us to be better than her in all areas. Each time I see her it reminds me of the reason why I need to strive tirelessly to be a better person in the society so as to inspire other young women never to relent in all their dealings.
My background also inspired me to be a better me. Just like I said earlier that growing up was quite demanding and tasking where you need to strive at times to fend for yourself. These entire put together had been a great inspiration for me to keep on fighting because I never wanted my background to put my back to the ground.
Also learning and looking up to women who have done great exploit in the society always inspire that if these ones can make it, likewise will I make it too. Then through my inspirations, I also strive to be a source of inspiration to those who look up to me especially my siblings.

Being a Woman of Rubies
Well, I will say what makes me a woman of Rubies is just GRACE. Then determination and consistency with hard work upon the grace fetch me this honour. I never give up so easily on the vision to strive tirelessly to attain positive growth and development towards being a better me. More so, the passion for having women live their world in peace made me realize the potentials we possess as of which can never be overemphasized and ultimately must be pursued to change the orientation of those who do not believe in the super power of a woman.
Many a time women are being brutalized physically, psychologically, and morally simply because the world has failed to appreciate their strong powers and values in developing of a country. Women are very strong and energetic creature and we will continue to be.
12. Any final word for young women who want to go into advocacy:
Advocacy is a practice that should be done with so much interest and utmost willingness to make others live and lead a better life. If anyone would go into advocacy at all, I will leave them with these [3 Cs]
The first ‘C’ is Commitment. Be committed. Commitment is a strong will that will enable one see beyond the present situation or any challenges that may pop up and channel one’s energy towards achieving the best.
And the second ‘C’ is Consistency. If one is committed and not consistent in pursuing a goal, it may likely be impossible to get there. Consistency brings about result of being committed towards a cause. Not matter what, do not give up. The effort to put beautiful smiles on any one is the greatest achievement one can ever record.
Finally, do not Compromise. This is as well very important in order not to truncate your positive vibes of advocacy.

Final words or advice for women all over the world
Women are never a piece of furniture nor useless. It is vitally important that every woman all over the world to note that and carry it as a flag wherever they find themselves. Say it to yourself that “I can do it and I believe in myself to make impact” trust me, your believe will drive the strength to actually push through in whatever thing you have set your mind to achieve.
Then every woman should always know that “brain has no gender” the capacity of a woman is not limited to physical fitness. In as much as every individual possess that God given divine gift, irrespective of the gender, it can be used to achieve ultimately to break bounds and barriers. If all notable influential women throughout the world who have contributed remarkably to the growth and development of their society can make it happen, why can’t you too? You being a woman is not an exception to turn things around.
However, just in all you do, what people see, feel or think about you does not define who you are or what you do, rather always believe in yourself.

In Career Gems June 30, 2018 By Women of Rubies

360 WOMAN HOSTS DIALOGUES AND COCKTAIL

360 women Africa, a leading personal development enterprise for women in Africa, held the first edition of its personal development, mentoring and networking event called Dialogues and Cocktail in Lekki, Lagos, Nigeria.
Founded by Yvonne Chioma Ofodile a UK certified personal development coach, public speaker, and business woman, the objective of the event was to engage women in Africa by creating a platform that seeks to deliver transformational knowledge, impact and soft skills to its participants.
Dialogues and Cocktails round-table meeting gave its participants access toreal talks from expert speakers on lives success, failures, hope, clarity of vision and a total paradigm shift; access and opportunity for speed mentorship, among other things.

The event gathered great speakers and industry holders such as Ayo Mairo-Ese, a multiple award-winning broadcaster, event compere and public speaker; Felicia Odumosu, an astute HR Consultant with over 17 years work experience and Alexandra Amuche Asogwa, TV personality, dancer, writer and brand/social influencer who recently emerged fifth runner-up at the Big-Brother Naija 2018.
The first speaker Felicia Odumosu spoke on Becoming and Remaining Employable. She went further to speak on what employability skills were and desirable employability skills across all employment sector.
Alexandra spoke on The Road To Discovery: How Real Can It Get? She also went further to share her journey and tools that has helped her in this process of evolving. Ayo Mairo-Ese spoke on Been Limitless.
She started with sharing her success story and how she has emerged. She encouraged her audience to engage in a lot of personal development activities like reading, researching, affirmations, seeking mentorship and hard-work.
The dialogue session had a lot of questions and answer for the speakers and it ended with the founder speaking on The Power of Imagination.

The event was powered by 360 Woman Africa and fully supported by Veleta Sparkling Wine, Talent Bureau Limited, YMC Beauty and GuardianWoman.

In Career Gems June 30, 2018 By Women of Rubies

NIGERIA’S ZURIEL ODUWOLE LISTED AMONG TOP 15 EMERGING BLACK WOMEN IN HOLLYWOOD

The phrases “Action” or “Cut” and “That’s A Wrap” are truly synonymous with the entertainment industry, specifically filmmaking and motion picture development.
But these scenes do not occur, without the backing and funding from studios, production houses or deep pocket independent producers and directors.

A new generation of powers behind the industry is emerging – Black Women, and this month, 15 of such influencers are profiled in a new feature in LA Magazine, and they are directors, movie funding gatekeepers, producers, program executives and writers from big-name players such as Paramount Pictures, BET Networks, Extra!, AEG, City National Bank and Revolt.
And then a certain 15-year-old documentary filmmaker called Zuriel Oduwole, youthfully perched at the top left of the group portrait, made the cut.

She made her first film at the age of 9 about the Ghana Revolution, and her fourth film at the age of 12, showed in 2 movie theatre chains overseas and screened in Ghana, the UK, Nigeria, South Africa and Tokyo – Japan.
It made her the youngest producer in the world to show their self-produced and self-edited film in a commercial movie theatre chain. Indeed, a new dawn is breaking in Hollywood.

In Interviews&profile June 27, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MEET 10-YEAR-OLD ERICA TANDOH, AN AWARD WINNING FEMALE DJ

10 years old Erica Tandoh, popularly known as DJ Switch, started deejaying at the age of nine and she has already won Ghana’s annual DJ Awards just a year after she started deejaying.

Erica’s came into the limelight when she emerged the winner of the 8th edition of TV3’s Talented Kidz, a Ghanaian Talent Show for kids.

While speaking to BBC Africa, DJ Switch said she started being interested in the art and went on to learn it.

“I started deejaying when I was nine years and I just wanted to try my hand at it… Being a young DJ is not that difficult, when you are being taught in school you pick everything fast, so when you are being taught deejaying you also pick it up fast,” she said.

About her stage name she says;

“I picked the name DJ Switch because I switch up people’s happiness,”

The multi-talented 10-year-old can dance, play the trumpet, drums and is still learning the piano.

She says:

“Deejaying is my passion but I want to be a gynecologist because I want to help women,”.

DJ Switch has already recorded a song with her mother dubbed Deceiver.

This interview is one of the first to come out of BBC’s new Africa-focused program, “What’s New,” which is geared towards engaging children on the continent.

Credit: fabwoman.ng

In Career Gems June 27, 2018 By Women of Rubies

WUNMI OBE BAGS NEW APPOINTMENT WITH PUNCH

On Tuesday, June 26, 2018, Mrs Valerie Omowunmi Tunde-Obe was appointed as a non Executive Director by the Board of Punch Nigeria Limited.

She attended Grange School and Queen’s College, Yaba, Lagos. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Philosophy from the University of Lagos. Between 1995 and 2001, she worked as a Senior Manager, Copywriting at LTC/JWT Advertising. In 2001, she and her husband founded KOPYKATS & Associates, a scriptwriting, music production and marketing company.

Tunde-Obe is the owner of Hair Afrique Beauty Salon, a subsidiary of United Hairways Beauty Company and Iya Ibadan Local Cuisine and Foods which promotes foods from Western Nigeria.

A certified member of the Association of Advertising Practitioners of Nigeria since 2004, Tunde-Obe is a director of Punch Commercial Printing…..

Continue reading on http://punchng.com/punch-appoints-new-chairman-director/

Culled from Punch

Please note, Women Of Rubies do not own any right to this news article. Full credit goes to www.punch.ng

In Career Gems June 27, 2018 By Women of Rubies

BETTY IRABOR SET TO RELEASE NEW BOOK “DUST TO DEW”

Genevieve magazine founder Betty Irabor will be releasing her new book soon.

Titled “Dust to Dew“, the book will chronicle some of the most interesting parts of her life journey while she shares learning points from them.
She posted the cover of the book on Instagram and captioned:

I am So Excited to unveil the cover of my book 😁😁💃💃 “Dust to Dew”… Dust is chaos, Dust blinds, it inhibits. Dew is Life, it is Hope, it is New Beginnings 💧💧💦 It’s been an interesting journey putting several emotions into a book that chronicles the darkest period of my battle with depression. I didn’t lose those 7 years, Rather it was a period of Learning and Unlearning! This is me being audacious about sharing my most intimate battle with depression with you. May all our aspirations distill into the morning Dew!

In Career Gems June 26, 2018 By Women of Rubies

ACTRESS OMOTOLA JALADE-EKEINDE HAS BEEN INVITED TO BECOME AN OSCAR ACADEMY VOTER

This year, the Oscar Academy is making impressive effort to diversify its members, by inviting 928 new people from 59 countries – 49% of which are women and 38% of which are people of colour – and one of those who received an invitation is Nigerian actress, Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde.

Omotola who was cited for her work in Last Flight To Abuja and A Private Storm, joins an impressive list of invitees, which includes Kendrick Lamar, Gidi Blues’s director, Femi Odugbemi, Black Panther stars, Danai Gurira and Daniel Kaluuya, and British-Nigerian, Wunmi Mosaku.

With this record-breaking move, the largest in the organization’s history, the percentage of women in the Academy has now risen from 25% in 2015 to 31%; while for people of colour, it has risen from 8% in 2015 to 16%. Although not all invitees will accept their invitation, most will.

(Photo: AMPAS)

Credit: konbini.com

In Career Gems June 25, 2018 By Women of Rubies

GRACE LADOJA MAKES VOGUE’S LIST OF MOST INFLUENTIAL WOMEN IN BRITAIN

Music Executive and media personality, Grace Ladoja, has been honored by British Vogue in the #Vogue25 list as one of the Most Influential Women in Britain.

According to British Vogue, the list was compiled to shine a light on the powerful women driving forward their respective industries.

Vogue wrote:

What does power look like now? As we assembled Vogue’s inaugural list of the most influential women working in Britain for the July issue, it became clear that this question is more complicated than ever to answer. How telling, for example, that while there have never been more women in cabinet, 2018 did not feel like a year to shine a light on the ever-shifting sands of power in the old establishment. It is no longer enough simply to hold a great office of state, it seems.

Power and influence now take many forms. It does, however, still require an eye-watering level of achievement, regardless of age (the oldest entry, Baroness Hale, is 73; the youngest, Dua Lipa, is 22). It also demands the ability to inspire, and the clout to change the conversation.

Drawing from the worlds of politics, fashion, the arts, media and sport, we have had to make notable omissions. For some, authority remains too precarious (Theresa May), for others it is eternal (the Queen). So these are the women of this year: the Vogue 25, an extraordinary cast of leaders defining – and redefining – the way we live now.

Grace Ladoja earns a coveted spot in the #Vogue25 list (Vogue)

Praising Grace in her capacity as a Music Executive and looking at the amazing work she has done with Skepta and the whole BBK crew,

Vogue writes:

GRACE LADOJA
Music executive

When Skepta won the Mercury Prize for his album Konnichiwa, it was thanks in no small part to his manager: fast-rising music executive Grace Ladoja, otherwise known as the Godmother of Grime. In 2018, in a move unimaginable a few years ago, Buckingham Palace recognised her services to music in the New Year’s Honours List – proof of her crucial role in Britain’s burgeoning DIY music scene, and her talent for shaking up the status quo.

Credit: Vogue, Pulse News

In Interviews&profile June 25, 2018 By Women of Rubies

“WITH THE BCC WE WANT TO SHIFT CONVERSATION TO BOYS” – DR. KEMI DASILVA-IBRU

During the second quarter of 2018, the Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) implemented the Boys Conversation Café (BCC) a project sponsored by Diamond Bank PLC. The interactive session involved a set of students predominantly male between the ages of 13 and 17 years old, in SS1 and SS2 levels. Experienced male mentors interacted with the students using a guided curriculum for four consecutive weeks. The discussion centered around sexual abuse, boys as protectors not perpetrators, peer pressure, responsible behaviour and the law on rape. The objectives include changing the attitude and mindset of boys about rape and sexual abuse, to educate boys to participate as protectors rather than bystanders or perpetrators and to equip young boys with the knowledge and the tools to assist in the prevention of gender-based violence with the provision of the services provided by WARIF Centre. In this interview with WARIF Founder, Dr Kemi Dasilva-Ibru, she talks in length about this project and what she aims to achieve with it.

You recently launched the Boys Conversation Café. Tell us more about this?
The WARIF Boys Conversation Café is a new initiative launched by the Foundation which is designed to educate young secondary school boys between the ages of 12-16, on the prevalence of sexual violence in Nigeria and aims to change the attitudes, perception and behavioural pattern that exist amongst these group of boys, towards gender inequality and sexual violence against women. The WARIF Boys Conversation Café runs a series of informal sessions with cohort groups of these young school boys, with vetted male volunteers, recruited from different organizations who facilitate as mentor’s /role models at these café sessions. On the issue of sexual-based violence in Nigeria, there are no existing curriculums in schools and elsewhere that directly address these topics for boys and so specific guidelines have been designed by the Foundation and are used as the basis for the topics and issues discussed at the Café sessions. These conversations also highlight already existing issues of gender disparity that exist between the sexes in our communities and the potential for violence against women that occur as a result. It teaches young boys to become protectors of women and not potential perpetrators as these boys reach adulthood.

What does WARIF aim to achieve with this feat?
We spend most of our time discussing how many women are raped in a community, how many school girls are harassed or whether or not consent was given and not enough time asking how many men rape women in that community and how many school boys harass young girls. This initiative plans to shift the focus of attention from educating girls and women on the prevention of sexual violence and rape and how to protect themselves, to teaching boys and men about positive masculinity and standing up for women and changing their mindsets so we prevent them from becoming perpetrators in the future.

How many schools/boys do you hope to reach and in what time-frame?
The goal of the initiative is to reach as many boys as possible across Lagos State. Following the conclusion of the first session sponsored by Diamond Bank in Surulere in May 2018 and the positive measured impact the initiative had in this school district, the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) has recently entered a partnership with WARIF where the Boys Conversation Café will be introduced into secondary schools across all six school districts in Lagos State from the next school calendar year in 2018. Through this partnership I believe we will be able to achieve this.

What other activities have WARIF been involved in recently?
The Foundation effectively tackles the issue of rape and sexual violence by working under its three main pillars. The WARIF Centre: a Sexual Assault Referral Centre in Yaba offers free treatment, counseling, accommodation and legal aid to all beneficiaries that visit the Centre free of charge. There is also a 24-hour confidential help- line available to all in need of services, but wish to remain anonymous or are located too far away to reach the Centre. The Educational Pillar of the Foundation has in addition to the Boys Conversation Café – two other initiatives being carried out across the State; the WARIF Educational School Program (WESP), is a preventative initiative where the identification of the signs and the prevention of sexual violence and rape is taught to secondary school girls between the ages of 12 and 16 through a specifically designed curriculum by the Foundation. The WARIF Through the Arts Program is the initiative targeting tertiary level male and female students in universities and colleges across the country. Using the performing arts as a tool for social change, a short powerful skit depicting scenarios of abuse is shown to large audiences of these young adults in these schools and used to create awareness, encourage dialogue and educate and prevent sexual violence amongst this target audience. Under our Community Service pillar, through sponsorship from the ACT Foundation, we have successfully trained 500 traditional birth attendants from several rural local government areas across Lagos State on the signs and prevention of sexual violence under the WARIF Gate Keepers project. This was the first time traditional midwives had received any training in this area and are now equipped to becoming first respondents in the prevention of gender based violence and related issues in their different rural communities. All cases are logged for data collection and referred back to the WARIF Centre for continued care. Advocacy, awareness and sensitization programs are also carried out in more urban areas where public spaces such as market places and known brothels are visited.

Would you say you have recorded increased success in the war against GBV, Sexual Violence and rape since you started and how?
With regards to our various initiatives, the WARIF Centre has attended to over 470 beneficiaries since December 2016; The WARIF Educational School Program has educated 300 girls so far and will continue in the next calendar year with an additional 500 secondary school girls. The recently launched BCC Boys will be introduced throughout all six school districts across Lagos State in the next school calendar as well; impacting on the lives of as many young adolescent school aged boys as possible. With the Gate Keepers Initiative we have trained 500 traditional midwives and have attend to 132 cases from different local government areas and we intend to continue our training with an additional 400 midwives in August 2018. We have also addressed over 550 beneficiaries in the urban areas. Our strong advocacy and awareness programs and campaigns through online social media platforms, radio and TV as well as in traditional newspapers has also reached a significant number of individuals in the thousands; so I would say we have certainly recorded a significant number of beneficiaries we have had a large positive impact on in the war against GBV. There is, however, so much more to be done.

What do you think the government can do in helping to address the problem of GBV?
The Lagos State government has set up a Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) made up of a select number of ministries and related regulatory organizations such as law enforcement to address all aspects of sexual and domestic violence in the State. As an official member of this regulatory body, WARIF works hand in hand with other qualified representatives to reduce the number of these cases in Lagos State. I believe this unprecedented level of collaboration created by the Lagos State Government among these professionals all working towards ending sexual and gender-based violence is seeing positive results. The Police Force are also sensitizing more police officers to tackle this problem in some police stations; Gender desks with trained sensitised officers are now available to address these cases. This must be encouraged and emulated in all police stations across the country.

What would you tell survivors and how can they seek professional help?
It is very important for a survivor of a sexual attack to immediately visit a rape crisis centre such as the WARIF Centre located in Yaba. We have specialised qualified staff and offer readily available services that offers an all-round holistic approach to her care. For forensic medical examinations to be carried out, a 72-hour window from the onset of the attack in when specimens for DNA evidence in a rape kit can be retrieved. When a woman is seen at the Centre, she is walked through the event in a very sensitive and least intrusive manner; all the necessary tests are carried out and professionally trained medical personnel examine her. It is the most natural thing to feel the urge to wash away all signs of the attack as soon as it happens, as most women immediately feel dirty and used; but it is important to emphasise that important forensic evidence may be lost in this event; so she must visit the centre prior to washing/ bathing. She must also bring along with her the clothing that was worn during the attack. Other tests and medication also need to be administered to her within this 72-hours period, including the post – exposure HIV drugs to reduce the incidence of HIV. She is also seen by a trained social worker for counseling as her psycho –social needs must also be met. This component of abuse is as traumatic as the physical attack suffered. Before leaving the Centre, her social welfare needs such as accommodation and legal aid are addressed where necessary.

By; Tobi Awodipe for Guardian

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