self development Archives

In self development June 7, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

ASIRI, NOSA ,SEUN AJAYI AMONG SPEAKERS FOR REVAMP CONFERENCE

Damilare Osundare a.k.a Asiri Comedy ,inspirational singer, Nosa and actor Seun Ajayi have been named amongst the speakers expected to facilitate at this year’s Revamp Conference tagged ‘The Old meets the new’.

The 2019 edition of the conference is scheduled to hold on the 22^nd of June 2019 at Prime Rose Event Centre, Ogba ,Ikeja Lagos.

These entertainment icons will alongside other panelists, thought leaders and experts coach, counsel and inspire the young Nigerians who will be attending the third edition of this summit.

The vision of this year’s edition is to bring menthors from the older generation and mentors from the new school under one roof to inspire the teenagers and youths. The focus is to glean wisdom from the old and intelligence from the young achievers.

According to Precious Eniayekan, Convener of the Conference: “It’s been an amazing journey, this is the third edition of the Revamp conference and I can boldly say this is what we have been called to do. For me, raising a generation that will raise the next and the next and the next is something all of us must pay attention to. The stellar initiative is here to stay and we are taking Revamp to the world”, she said.

In self development June 6, 2019 By Women of Rubies

CIARA EXPLAINS THE REASON BEHIND HER EMOTIONAL SPLIT FROM FUTURE

Each week, Jada Pinkett Smith and her family sit around the Red Table to talk about some of the most riveting topics around. There have been so many memorable episodes of the show with Ayesha Curry, Jordyn Woods and others making headlines through their appearances.

Recently, Ciara graced the table with her story, which Jada says has been incredibly influential.
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Ciara’s most recent album is called Beauty Marks. The body of work tells a tale of how Ciara has turned her ugliest moments into the most beautiful life she could have. She knows that everything that happened to her over the years has led her to find the love of her life, Russell Wilson. CiCi’s son, FutureZahir, is a major part of her sit-down with Jada, Willow and Adrienne. The singer was engaged to Future when they welcomed in Baby Future but something about the relationship was so toxic that she needed to call things off. Ciara knew that she needed her life to calm down and when she first started hanging out with Russell Wilson, she says it was “just different.”

Ciara is striving right now and nothing could have happened without all the emotional scars she lived through along the way. She’s wearing so many hats and as a mother of two children now, she still finds time to be there for her kids. Watch the full episode below.

Credit: hnhh

In self development June 6, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

SERENA WILLIAMS BECOMES THE FIRST ATHLETE TO MAKE FORBES’ RICHEST SELF-MADE WOMEN LIST

Serena Williams has made history as the first athlete to make Forbes’ list of the World’s Richest Self-Made Women.

According to the publication, the 23-time Grand Slam champion made the list as a result of her estimated fortune of $224m (£177m). The majority of William’s fortune has been made as a result of her “brain and brand rather than her backhand”, according to Forbes, with the star investing in 34 startup businesses in the past five years alone.

Opening up about her financial investments, Williams told the publication: “I want to be in the infrastructure. I want to be the brand, instead of just being the face.”

In April, Williams announced she was launching her own venture-capital firm.

Forbes reports that 60 per cent of Williams’ investments so far have gone to companies led by women or people of colour.

In self development June 6, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

LATE MOJI OLAIYA’S DAUGHTER GRADUATES FROM BABCOCK UNIVERSITY

Adun, the daughter of late Nollywood actress, Moji Olaiya has graduated from Babcock University two years after her mum’s death.

She shared photos from her graduation with the caption, ‘a degree hotter. I’m grateful to God and my family for helping me come this far’.Bsc international law and diplomacy

In self development June 6, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

6 WAYS SOCIAL MEDIA IS AFFECTING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

There is no doubt that the advent of social media has brought it with many welcomed and some not so welcomed developments. Social media platforms have revolutionised the way we stay in touch with each other and it has become an integral part of the daily life of many.

While there are many positive roles played by social media, it has many setbacks as recent reports have said that over- or misuse of social media can have a negative impact on self-esteem and mental health, particularly among younger users.

So how and when might social media use be detrimental to our mental wellbeing?

Addiction

One piece of research posited that tweeting or checking emails may be ‘harder to resist than cigarettes and alcohol’. The more social media use becomes an important part of our daily routine, the more we may become too emotionally and psychologically dependent on it. Asides that, addiction to social media affects our everyday relationships, sleep hygiene, or our performance at work or in our studies.

The Fear of Missing Out (FoMO) Factor

Getting into the habit of checking social media at any available time may lead to us checking on impulse. This can lead to us never really switching off or taking time to relax. Many social media users today live in the fear of missing out on an update from a friend or celebrity causing them to constantly check their social media platforms at all available given times.

Comparison

One thing that makes social media fun is that we get to have a glimpse into the lives of others and keep up to date with them. However, being in constant contact with the lives of others can lead to critical comparison leading to feelings to insecurity. We forget that most of what we see on social media platforms are carefully selected and filtered content and we aspire to unrealistic expectations.

Loneliness

One study has suggested that the more frequently you visit social networking sites the more likely you are to feel socially isolated. However, like many of the studies exploring the effects of social media on mental health, it is difficult to pinpoint causation.

Cyberbullying

One major headache of social networking is the issue of cyber or online bullying. 70 percent of young people and 40 percent of adults say that they have experienced some form of cyberbullying. The Royal Society for Public Health says that victims of bullying are more likely to experience depression, anxiety and even self-harm.

Anxiety and depression

One study has reported that simultaneous use of multiple social networking sites led users to be more likely to report feelings of anxiety or depression. Those that already have difficulties with anxiety, problems such as body dysmorphic disorder and low self-esteem issues may be compounded by social media.’

By: AKINWALE AKINYOADE for Guardian

In self development June 6, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

OLACHI OLATUNJI: CHOOSE HONESTY OVER HEROISM

#Part 3

When you look at your kid or your ward or someone younger that you ae somehow responsible for, you want them to look at you are be proud. You always want them to be able to see in you the perfect example. Ask any parent – what drives you? You’d hear stuff like, “I want to give my kids a good example, I want them to look up to me, I want to show them that they can achieve anything they set their minds to” and who wouldn’t want to do or be all these things?

But parents, you need to take some pressure off yourself too. Even Superman needs a little Clark Kent time once in a while – we like to think we can do and be everything for our kids’ but the truth is – we can’t. Guess what? the kids don’t expect us to either.

I remember growing up, my mum was everything rolled into one and some days I just wanted her to rest. I saw what it was doing to her attempting all questions with 5 children every single day. Not easy.

I would understand if she could not be there for me at a time because she just needed to do HER but she never let up and many of you might never let up either. Maybe it’s how we were made – who knows?

Here’s what I want you to take from this –

Every parent wants to be their childs’ hero, they want to be the one their kids look up to but trust me when I tell you it’s better to just be honest with them. Tell the truth, they will understand.

Sometimes as parents we have to make tough decisions – sometimes we need to live away from our families for work or school or whatever. It sucks but telling them the truth helps them understand instead of just cope.

So, you can’t make the school game this week. Say, “Baby, I can’t make your school game on Friday ok – I am really sorry and I promise I’ll try to be at your next one – I’ll get your teacher to record it for me and we’ll watch it together at home, ok?”

That is so much better than promising them you’ll show up when you know – you really won’t be there.

Everyone loves a hero, but no one loves a liar and if you can’t be a hero, at least be honest.

You will disappoint them more by your lies rather than your truths. The truth you tell might hurt for the moment but the pain of lies can last a lifetime.

I was talking with a friend one time who said when he was 5, his parents dropped him off at boarding school and said they’d be right back. The next time he saw them was 3 months later at the end of the school term. I cannot even begin to imagine what that must have felt like. He cried every day for days until it became clear that neither mum nor dad was turning up and so at age 5, he was forced to become a man.

You might say – his parents probably just didn’t know how to explain it to a 5-year old and I think that too but did not-explaining make it easier on the child or on the parents?

Please stop trying to have it all figured out, stop trying to be so strong for them –Tell your kids the truth. Tell them in a way they can understand – they will and will love you for it too. You will demonstrate to them that honesty does not always feel good, but when the choice is presented – you should choose honesty over heroism, always.

You know one of the things I love most about being a parent – it’s that I get to hold right now in my hands what could be a crucial part of shaping a future generation and even if I cannot change the world myself – the idea that I can raise someone who CAN is hands down THE most amazing and terrifying part of being a parent. For me!

We don’t know everything, but we know some things. Let’s do the best we can with the best we know.

Think about how you’re going to choose honesty with your kids even if what you have to tell them is really difficult.

The End.

About Olachi Olatunji

Hey, my name is Olachi and I like to refer to myself as a ‘thinking enthusiast.’

I love a few things, number one of them being learning and number two would be spreading.

I believe in the power of right thinking to transform lives and as a result; I enjoy spreading knowledge, inspiring thinking and encouraging movement.

I however am not a very serious person so please don’t expect to find me in a suit… In a crowd with beating music though, find me somewhere in the middle – moving to the beat and filling my soul with joy.

Olachi Olatunji

Chief Curator,

THEKNOWLEDGEOFHOW Blog.

#TKOH

In self development June 5, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

A WOMAN THAT HAS BEEN HURT…

In narrating his marital issues to me, a man wrote… “I MET my wife during one of my visits to Nigeria. We got married with the understanding that her joining me in the UK is immediate. We soon had a child but, after some time, I noticed her body language towards me wasn’t right, and I asked her questions. Her response was like I shouldn’t bother, that we are fine.

Each time I’m visiting, she never does anything special to woo me. No special hair-do, no makeup, no special food, etc. On several occasions, I’ve asked her if I’m doing anything wrong or if there’s something she needs. Her answers are always “everything is okay.”

The love-making is just zero. She doesn’t show she misses it! Then, I said to myself that she must have been getting it from someone else. So I started looking for clues and secretly investigating.

I managed to get hold of her bank statements. I then noticed a very small amount of money coming into her account from a man!
I asked her about it, and she said the man is a family friend from her mother’s side.

During my visit to Nigeria in January, I asked her mum about the man and she said they’re not related. Immediately I returned to the UK, we had a big argument, words were exchanged and both families were insulted. My wife blocked me on all her phone lines and social media platforms. A friend of mine helped me to persuade her to talk to me after awhile.We started talking but she has so much anger in her.

The issue now is that she said she doesn’t love me anymore and not joining me in the UK. What should I do? Should I just let her be?

Please note:
. Her documents for joining me in the UK are being processed.

. I send money to her on a weekly basis.

. I buy her lots of things whenever I am coming to Nigeria- from mobile phone to underwear.

. I visit two to three times a year.

. I bought her a car even before she learned how to drive.

I wouldn’t know if her anger is because she once saw a chat between me and a lady that I dated in the UK.
But, that relationship has long ended.’’

By: Chukwuneta Oby for Guardian Newspaper

In self development June 4, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

OPRAH SURPRISES HS PRINCIPAL WHO INSTALLED LAUNDRY ROOM WITH $500,000 DONATION FOR AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAM

Last Friday, Oprah Winfrey paid a visit to West Side High School in Newark, New Jersey to not only surprise the students and staff with a pizza party, but to also give a $500,000 donation for its after school program called “Lights On.”

The program, which was started by the school’s principal Akbar Cook, provides students with a safe place to gather on Friday nights where they can play basketball, video games, shoot pool or practice cheers until 11 p.m. throughout the school year, CNN reports. Over the summer, the program runs three times a week.

In addition to implementing the “Lights On” on program, Principal Cook also installed a laundry room in the school after finding out that students with dirty clothes were being bullied by their peers and, in turn, missing class.

Winfrey posted a video about her visit on Facebook, saying, “When I saw what Principal Akbar Cook was doing for his students at West Side High School in Newark, NJ, I had to come see what it was all about and share some delicious O, That’s Good pizza.”

In a video posted by Cook, Winfrey announced her half a million dollar donation to the school, and added that she wants to encourage the community to “keep doing what you’re doing because what you’re doing is moving in the right direction.”

Cook’s work and influence at his school was first shared on a national platform when he appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show last September. He tells NJ.com that since his appearance, his school has received gifts of detergent, clothing and toiletries from all over the world.

“It’s crazy man,” said Cook, who also serves as the school’s varsity basketball coach. “I never thought anything like this would happen.”

In March, DeGeneres invited the principal back on her show to further praise the work he’s doing and to give him a $50,000 check for his school.

This past February, after sending Cook a personal letter, Newark’s former mayor and current presidential candidate Sen. Cory Book praised the principal on Twitter, saying, “His tireless work is an inspiration to us all.”

Principal Cook, thank you for making a difference!

In self development June 3, 2019 By Women of Rubies

“HAVING A CHILD, GETTING MARRIED OR BUYING A CAR CANNOT MAKE ONE FEEL BETTER UNTIL YOU KILL THE CANCER WITHIN” – BETTY IRABOR

Publisher, Betty Irabor, who has battled depression and attempted suicide in the past, shared a thoughtful piece on her Instagram page on Sunday.

In her write-up, the 63-year-old appealed to anyone suffering depression to seek help and deal with the root cause of their hollowness. According to Irabor, getting married, pregnant or buying material things, would not make them feel any better when the root cause of their depression hasn’t been dealt with. She wrote;

I was about 12 when I first saw a Rolls Royce. It’s owner was a guest of mum. Did I show off on that day? I earned renewed respect in the hood on Akinwunmi street.. well at least for few days! Sigh!! Yesterday I took the liberty of posing by this vintage monster of a ride In Warri. Na pose I pose o, I didn’t say it’s mine before you people will come for me!!
I remember thinking while in the throes of depression that as soon as my new ride arrived I would feel better. I didn’t feel better. And that’s how it goes on; when I get married I will feel better, when I am rich I will feel better, when I have children I will feel better, when I get that designer bag I will feel better, when I move into my new house I will feel better.
Truth is, things or people don’t make us feel better until we fix the cancer within and own up to the fact that we feel hollow within and need help. We carry around burdens and pains that we need to offload so we can travel light. We cannot fake true happiness, it expires as soon as we are alone and the reality of what we are masking hits us. We can lie to the world about how well we are on the outside but we can’t deceive our selves…
Life is about finding joy in little abundance and trusting that our current situation is only a part of our long journey….This present challenge is only a comma in a sentence and not the full stop…
Focus on what truly counts and live one day at a time. Most of us dont have it all figured out… na packaging…
Don’t give up on yourself, believe in endless possibilities and don’t focus on what could have been…
This is your time, make it count.

Credit: LIB

In self development June 3, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

FOUR WAYS TO GET RID OF BAD BREATH NATURALLY

A number of people are plagued with mouth odor and they might not be fully aware to what extent it makes people around them uncomfortable.

Bad breath typically originates in the mouth, where bacteria are ever present. When you eat, bits of food get caught in your teeth. Bacteria grow on these bits of food, releasing foul-smelling sulfur compounds.

The most common cause of bad breath is poor dental hygiene. If you don’t brush and floss often, the bacteria in your mouth continue to grow, and a thin film of bacteria known as plaque builds up on your teeth.

Here are a few ways to get rid of bad breath naturally;

1. Parsley

Parsley has a fresh scent and high chlorophyll content which suggests that it can have a deodorizing effect.
To use parsley for bad breath, chew on fresh leaves after each meal or buy a parsley dietary supplement

2. Green Tea

Green tea is an effective home remedy for bad breath because it has disinfectant and deodorizing properties that can temporarily freshen the breath. Mint has similar effects, so a cup of green mint tea may be an ideal breath freshener.

3. Fennel and Anise Seeds

Fennel and anise seeds have been used to freshen breath. In parts of India, roasted fennel seeds are still used as mouth fresheners, to cleanse after-dinner breath. They taste sweet and contain aromatic essential oils that give the breath a fresh scent.
Fennel and anise seeds can be eaten plain, roasted, or coated with sugar.

4. Yogurt

Yogurt contains healthy bacteria called lactobacillus and these healthy bacteria can help combat bad bacteria in various parts of your body, like your gut.
To use yogurt to fight bad breath, have one serving per day of plain, nonfat yogurt.