self development Archives

In self development November 24, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MISTAKES CAN HELP YOUR KIDS BECOME INDEPENDENT

Becoming independent is a critical part of growth and making mistakes can be a natural phenomenon that every individual will go through. How it is handled and lessons learnt from mistakes make the difference.

When kids make mistakes, most parents can be quick to judge their incompetence and lack of maturity, but then, it is a learning curve that gives everyone the opportunity to grow and become truly independent.

According to a parenting enthusiast and mum, Gift Adokie, when kids make mistakes that embarrass or disappoint their parents, it is important for parents to learn how to overcome the feelings of failure and not take it personally.

Having worked with parents as an educator of students with severe behaviour issues, she said that parents can do everything “right” and children will still make mistakes. Mistakes are a natural part of life and critical to learning, growing, and becoming independent. Missteps and failures allow kids to gain valuable insight, develop critical thinking skills, and acquire essential traits like resilience, grit, and self-compassion.

According to Adokie: “When your child makes a mistake that disappoints or embarrasses you, berating yourself is not going to help this situation. Feeling guilty is not either. In both cases, you are taking responsibility for something that is not yours to own. If your children think you are blaming yourself for their actions or making excuses for them, that is giving them the wrong message.

“Taking time to communicate your expectations, your belief in their capability, and making a plan for moving forward is a far better way to spend your time and energy.”

Adokie stressed that it may be helpful to keep in mind that when parents take on their children’s mistakes, this becomes a detriment to their children when they get into the real world and do not know how to handle failure or take responsibility for their poor choices.

She added: “By communicating that mistakes are part of life, you also dismiss the notion that perfection is needed in life’s journey, which is also very damaging to personal growth, happiness and wellbeing. We never want our kids to believe they are failures when they experience failure.

“Commending them for owning a mistake and getting back up to try again is extremely beneficial. Sharing mistakes from your own life and how you handled them helps kids perceive you as a trusted source of support when things go wrong.”

Owning your own mistakes and apologising for them provides a powerful example for young people to follow.

She added that, above all, these are the three mistake reminders to keep in the forefront when kids make mistakes:

• How I collect myself and move forward in courage and love after making a misstep shows kids how to move forward in courage and love when they make a misstep.

• We are not the sum of our mistakes; we are not a collection of our failings; we are human and sometimes we just need a moment and every moment is a chance to start anew.

• Mistakes mean we are learning, growing, taking risks, and showing up. The day we stop making mistakes is the day we stop living. Let us live bravely, boldly, flawed, and full of hope.

By Ijeoma Thomas-Odia for Guardian

In self development November 22, 2019 By Women of Rubies

“I WAS A FEMINIST LONG BEFORE I KNEW WHAT THE WORD MEANT. I AM NOT GOING TO SHUT THE F* UP” -CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has said she will not be silenced while advocating for gender equality.

The author said this on Wednesday, November 20, 2019, while receiving an award at the “Equality Now.”

She said: “I was a feminist long before I knew what the word meant. Not because I read books but because I observed the world around me and saw how women were treated. Sometimes it can feel very lonely trying to prove that sexism exists, that we haven’t achieved basic equality for women around the world. Tonight is an oomph that shows me that it truly matters.

She added: “I’m going to remember this night when people tell me to shut up. I’m not going to shut the fuck up!”

The international organization, Equality Now honored Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Scarlett Curtis at the annual Make Equality Reality Gala in New York City.

Equality Now Global Executive Director Yasmeen Hassan said at the event: “Changing laws and mindsets is only possible through persistent activism. Our honorees tonight, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Scarlett Curtis, use the written word to do just that.”

Curtis is the author of the bestseller Feminists Don’t Wear Pink and Other Lies, and is a vocal activist across feminist issues from period poverty to female genital mutilation (FGM).

Singer-songwriter Rhonda Ross, daughter of singer and producer Diana Ross, presented Adichie with her Equality Now award. Ross invited a group of guests to welcome Adichie on stage by reading an excerpt from her book We Should All Be Feminists.

In her speech, Adichie also said storytelling has an important role to play in achieving equality.

“We really need to start thinking about ways to make women’s stories familiar to men. Men need to read more women’s stories.”

Credit: LIB

In Rubygirls November 22, 2019 By Women of Rubies

#RUBYGIRLS| “IN FIVE YEARS TIME, I SEE MYSELF BECOMING THE WOMAN I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMT OF” -ADEBANJO ADERINSOLA ABIBAT

Adebanjo Aderinsola Abibat, a versatile young woman and entrepreneur is a graduate of Performing Arts, Olabisi Onabanjo University, (OOU). She is an indigene of Ogun State.

She is a hair stylist, a fashion designer, make up artist (including special effect) and an actor. She is also the CEO of Black doll and Rinsola Aesthetics and the Co-Founder of Costume Sisters.

Aderinsola shares her ‘Ruby Girl’ story in this interview.

MEET ME

My name is Adebanjo Aderinsola Abibat, popularly known as Rinsola. I am a graduate of Performing Arts, Olabisi Onabanjo University OOU. I am from Ogun State.

I’m an hair stylist, a fashion designer, make up artist (including special effect) and an actor. I am the CEO of Black doll and Rinsola Aesthetics and the Co-Founder of Costume Sisters.

HOBBIES

I am a freak when it comes to applying makeup and taking pictures. I also love dancing, drawing and standing in front of camera, either acting or making my short videos.

INSPIRATION

I am mostly inspired by my Milieu, especially when I have to express myself through drawing. I draw what I see, and I also do this sometimes when it comes to making a creative outfit. Social media is another source of my inspiration. When I see people’s work, I get motivated to do more than ever someone else has done, plus it’s a constant reminder not to relent and also improve to be the best. Hakeem Effects (Onilogbo Hakeem) inspires me more on the area of special effects or makeup fantasy.

ONE ACCESSORY I CAN’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT

Earrings

BALANCING IT ALL…

Everything in life has its own season or time. Especially when it comes to hair and sewing. There are times when I get jobs for make up only or sewing e.t.c. So far, I haven’t been in a situation where I have to do all at the same time. It’s either two or three at most.

I remembered a situation where I had to dance, act, and was also the costumier and makeup artist for that production. It was actually stressful, but I was able to pull through because it was something I really enjoyed doing. I have passion for these things and also derive happiness from doing them.

BEST QUOTE

Make hay while the sun shine.

ONE THING I WILL LIKE TO CHANGE ABOUT ME

Low self esteem especially when it comes to competition or public speaking.

WHAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT

Social media. I love feeding my eyes with things that are trending, especially things that have to do with fashion.

MOST MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE ON STAGE AS A THEATRE ARTS STUDENT…

My induction ( initiation to Theater Arts). Walking around the school bare footed with palm front in my mouth alongside my course mates and dancing on stage with public figures including the likes of Abbey Lanre, Yinka Quadri, Jide Kosoko, Shola Kosoko, Faithia Balogun, Toyosi Adesanya, and Victor Olaotan who was the chief priest of the occasion.

IF GIVEN THE CHANCE TO BE THE PRESIDENT FOR A DAY…

I would change the economy. It is one of the biggest problem that Nigeria is currently facing. The rate of buying and selling has drastically increased and is negatively affecting the citizens. Inflation in prices of goods and services is rising and our currency is depreciating. Income earned by workers can no longer sustain them, which is a threat in the lives of many people.

UPBRINGING

My upbringing didn’t prepare me for all that I am today. Maybe I would have been better than this if that was the case but I thank God for where I am today.

MY BRAND IN THE NEXT 5 YEARS

I see myself becoming the woman I have always dreamt of. A successful entrepreneur and a public figure.

WORDS OF ADVICE FOR GIRLS YOUNGER THAN ME

No matter how bad your background is, how broke you are, where you are today or what anyone else says about you, your life and your future matters. Hard work is the younger brother to miracle, put in effort and hard work in whatever you do, just be yourself and never follow anyone else path and the sky will be your starting point.

In self development November 20, 2019 By Women of Rubies

GAME OF THRONES STAR, EMILIA CLARKE REVEALS HER PRODUCERS ‘GUILT-TRIPPED’ HER INTO ACTING MULTIPLE NUDE SCENES

British actress Emilia Clarke who played Daenerys Targaryen in the popular HBO series ‘Game of Thrones’ has made an astonishing claim about the hit tv show producers.

Emilia, 33, who went nude and simulated sex scenes as Khaleesi in the first episodes of the Tv show, claims she was pressured by her bosses to perform the multiple nude scenes because according to her bosses she would be disappointing a lot of fans if she didn’t do them. She said she had to rely on a lot of alcohol to act those scenes.

In an interview with Dax Shepard on his podcast Armchair Expert, the actress said she hadn’t agreed to the nude scenes in advance but felt she should do it anyway because she was new to the industry.

Emilia said: ‘I’m a lot more savvy [now] with what I’m comfortable with, and what I am okay with doing.

‘I’ve had fights on set before where I’m like, “No, the sheet stays up”, and they’re like, “You don’t wanna disappoint your Game of Thrones fans”. And I’m like, “F**k you”.’

Season one filming began in July 2010, when Emilia was 23 and now admits the amount of nudity in the first season was ‘overwhelming’ and she had relied on alcohol to get through the scenes.

She said: ‘I took the job and then they sent me the scripts and I was reading them, and I was, like, “Oh, there’s the catch!”

‘But I’d come fresh from drama school, and I approached [it] as a job – if it’s in the script then it’s clearly needed, this is what this is and I’m gonna make sense of it. Everything’s gonna be cool.’

”So I came to terms with that beforehand, but then going in and doing it… I’m floating through this first season and I have no idea what I’m doing, I have no idea what any of this is.

‘I’ve never been on a film set like this before, I’d been on a film set twice before then, and I’m now on a film set completely naked with all of these people, and I don’t know what I’m meant to do and I don’t know what’s expected of me, and I don’t know what you want and I don’t know what I want.

‘Regardless of there being nudity or not, I would have spent that first season thinking I’m not worthy of requiring anything, I’m not worthy of needing anything at all…

‘Whatever I’m feeling is wrong, I’m gonna cry in the bathroom and then I’m gonna come back and we’re gonna do the scene and it’s gonna be completely fine.’
In another scene, another of her love interests stripped for the camera, and she praised the show for that, but added that her love interest in season 1, Khal Drogo didn’t strip for the camera but she did..

She added: ‘No, I don’t know why. But I’d like to bring your memory back to Mr. Michiel Huisman and I copulating for the first time, which began with me saying, “Take off your clothes,” and then you got to see his perfect bottom.’

She explained: ‘I love that so many women watch the show. If you look at ‘Game of Thrones’ on face value — blood, t**s, dragons, swearwords — you’re like, “Oh, this must be for guys”.’

‘But if you take that away, the story lines are fascinating depictions of the struggle for power. And women are in on that conversation.’

She said about Khal Drogo: ‘Oh, I did. I saw his member’, she said. ‘But it was covered in a pink fluffy sock. Showing it would make people feel bad. It’s too fabulous.’

Credit: LIB

In self development November 20, 2019 By Women of Rubies

MEET OFENTSE PITSE, THE FIRST BLACK WOMAN TO CONDUCT AND OWN AN ORCHESTRA

27-year-old Ofentse Pitse has set the bar in more ways than one with her groundbreaking orchestra, Anchored Sound.

Not only is Pitse the only conductor of an all-black orchestra, but the young black female owns the musical group as well.

SowetanLIVE reported that Anchored Sound is the first of its kind in the world and it’s heartwarming to note that it is the brainchild of a young South African woman.

Pitse has music flowing in her genes as her late grandfather, Otto Pitse, was known as a great trumpeter and orchestra conductor as well. Perhaps she was therefore destined for musical greatness, but the fact that she’s achieved so much without a formal qualification in music, still takes some doing.

Pitse shared some insight as to what it takes to become an orchestra conductor. She said,

“You have to walk in there with a certain kind of reverence and confidence.”

Pitse explained that part of the challenge is that she needs to lead people who almost expect to see an elderly male leading them during performances.

Briefly.co.za gathered that much of her success in the industry is due to the role played by her mentors Thami Zungu and Gerben Grooten, after she called on them for guidance.

Pitse has been slowly forming her ensemble since 2017 as she handpicked youngsters from Tembisa, Soweto, Pretoria and Katlehong. Thanks to her forward-thinking, talent and determination, the group grew from only eight members to a 40-piece symphony orchestra.

Pitse revealed her passion for empowering black youth as she said, “I’m a believer in the black narrative and a believer in the black child.” Anchored Sound is living proof of this, as all proceeds from performances are used to directly assist its members.

Source: Briefly.co.za

In self development November 19, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

FOSTER MOM MAKES A DISCOVERY THAT CHANGES THE LIVES OF HER FOSTER CHILDREN FOREVER

Katie Page went through a divorce in her early thirties, and the experience left her feeling quite alone in the world. The family and career that she dreamed of seemed to be a far off dream. Next, she would make a life-changing decision that would shape the lives of everyone involved.

The End Of A Life Together

Katie Page was born and raised in Alabama, and in her early thirties, she was confronted with an understandably trying challenge as her marriage was reaching its end. The heart-wrenching milestone left her feeling undeniably lost in her life as her dreams of a family were no longer a possibility for the near future. Katie was searching for something fulfilling and knew it was time to make a drastic change.

The Start Of A New Story

Jackie felt she needed to let go of the past and focus on a new chapter in her life, which led her to move to a new area despite everything she knew being in Alabama. Back in 2015, she decided soul-searching would help her find the right path, and she made exceptional changes in her life. She was lucky enough to find an excellent job as an integrated service manager for GE Johnson which seemed to solve many concerns she had with relocating to Denver in Colorado.

Optimism Becomes Her

With a new home and a great new job, Katie felt as though she had made the best decision to start over. The spacious 4-bedroom home she purchased may have needed some work although she planned to take on the projects by herself. “The house I bought would require extensive work to transform into my vision and most of which I would have to do myself in order to afford it,” Katie explained. She mentioned to a friend that she felt the home was actually meant for so much more.

So Much To Do

Renovating her new home would require a lot of money, and while many would feel intimidated by such a large project, Katie thought it was the perfect solution to keep herself busy and her mind occupied on bettering her life. However, she knew that she was missing something, and despite her marriage ending recently, Katie knew she would be able to stumble upon new opportunities soon enough.

In Search Of Something New

Despite some understandable hesitation, Katie knew there would be something out there that would give her the new outlook on life she so desperately wanted. After already experiencing heartbreaking fertility issues she had searched for other options and considered both adoption and fostering as appropriate options to finally have the family her heart was after.

Fostering Children In Need

After recently joining a church in the area, there was a discussion regarding an upcoming seminar for a fostering program. Katie was immediately interested as she felt this may have been the opportunity she was looking for all along.

The Decision Was Made

The church meeting was more than enough to convince Katie that fostering children in need was the right path for her and even though she felt somewhat nervous she was entirely enchanted by the idea of starting her own family with children who needed her most.

Maternal Instincts

Back in 2015 and on Mother’s Day, no less Katie filled out the application that would change her life forever. The decision would shape her future, and there would be no turning back. Regardless Katie was anticipating the exciting journey she was about to undertake.

Becoming A Single Foster Mom

Even though Katie was beyond thrilled about her decision, she would still need to consider all the aspects of the massive life-changing choice to foster children in need. She would be a single mom, and she was also new in the area. This meant that Katie would need to find her feet while discovering life as a single mother. Nonetheless, she was adamant that she would follow through with her decision.

It All Becomes Real

It wasn’t too long after Katie filed her application when she started to receive feedback. The children that would potentially become her foster children were not merely children in need as they had also experienced heart-wrenching traumas early in their lives. This fact simply made Katie even more eager to open her heart.

Longing For One Of Her Own

One year later, Katie was fostering four children and found herself longing for one of her own. She was thrilled at the thought of adopting a child, and even though she was more than happy as a foster mom, she felt she would want something more permanent

Perfectly Timed

Two weeks after Katie had spoken with her caseworker, she received a phone call that would change her life forever. The caller explained that a baby that had been abandoned by his mother at a hospital in the area

It Must Be Fate

The baby boy was just four days old. Katie’s mind was already made up, and she told the caseworker not to contact anyone else. “I want him!” Just one day later, Katie walked out of the hospital with a baby boy of her own.

A Tough Start To Life

Even though Katie was already fostering a 14-month old baby, she did not have any prior experience taking care of a newborn. The small baby would need a lot of care and attention, and she would need to be extra careful. The baby boy had been exposed to illegal substances while still in his mother’s womb he was not experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Despite the good news that he would likely not face long-term challenges as a result of his biological mother’s harmful behavior while pregnant Katie was still beyond heartbroken in knowing a mother could put her own child in harm’s way like that.

Needing A Name

While Katie was prepared to do whatever it took to care for the baby, the four-day-old infant would also need a name!

Only The Best For Baby Grayson

When Katie brought the tiny infant home, she hardly had time to consider names for him. Eventually, she decided to give him her very favorite name for a boy: Grayson.

Unconditional Love

Katie immediately fell in love with the baby boy when she first saw him. The bond was instant even though she could not fathom how or why. Her unconditional love for Grayson was a real show of maternal instincts.

On A Fulfilling Path

It wasn’t long before Katie finally understood that motherhood was what she was unknowingly in search of for so long. The arrival of Grayson proved undeniably fulfilling for Katie as she longed for a child of her own. Even though she adored all of the children that she fostered, none were with her permanently.

In Search For Answers

There was no question surrounding the fact that Grayson had an extraordinary place in Katie’s heart. Afterall he was with her since he was only four days old. Behind the scenes, the caseworkers were adamant on finding Grayson’s biological parents.

Nowhere To Be Found

It seemed as though the biological parents did not want to be found as the caseworkers searched to no avail. Despite printing ads in the newspapers and even on Facebook, no one stepped out with any information regarding the baby boy that was abandoned.

It’s Official

In May 2017 Grayson became a permanent part of Katie’s life. At just 11 months old, he was now legally Katie’s son. She could not have been any happier that their family was finally official!

Waiting For The Right Time

When Grayson was eighteen months old, Katie considered taking in one more foster child although she felt the time was not right just yet. She may have received numerous calls regarding placements, but they were only short-term, and Katie was hoping for a long-term arrangement.

Deserving Of Only The Best

Katie was hoping to expand her family, but she was also undecided as she felt Grayson deserved her full attention. Katie was focused on her baby boy as she knew he needed her more than anything. Just look at how happy he is enjoying his very first birthday celebration!

A Drastic Change

Katie had a big home with plenty of space, and while she wanted to take advantage of this, she was hoping to wait until Grayson was a bit older before adopting another child. However, just one month after adopting Grayson officially, she received a call that would drastically change their lives forever.

In self development November 18, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NASA WOMEN WHO INSPIRED HIDDEN FIGURES FILM SET TO RECEIVE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDALS

Hidden no more! The four women who worked at NASA and inspired the movie Hidden Figures are being awarded with the highest civilian honor in the United States, the Congressional Gold Medal award, reports CNN.

Engineers, Dr. Christine Darden and Mary Jackson, mathematician, Katherine Johnson, and computer programmer, Dorothy Vaughan, who were all instrumental during the NASA Space Race, will receive the award for their contributions, with Vaughan and Jackson receiving theirs posthumously. A fifth gold medal will also be issued in honor of all the women who worked at NASA during the Space Race.

These women, referred to as “human computers” did the complex calculations necessary to make space travel possible. They helped with World War II aircraft testing, supersonic flight research, Voyager probes to explore the solar system, and were instrumental in helping with the moon man landing of 1969.

Darden, age 77, began her career as a data analyst at NASA’s Langley Research Center prior to becoming an aerospace engineer. She has published over 50 articles on aeronautics which led to enormous breakthroughs and “revolutionized aerodynamics design.” Jackson, who passed in 2005, was NASA’s first Black female engineer. She worked as an engineer for over two decades before earning the title of “Federal Women’s Program Manager,” where she was tasked with advancing “the prospects of NASA’s female mathematicians, engineers, and scientists.”

Johnson, age 101, provided NASA with calculations that helped them with several missions including the famed Apollo missions. She was the first woman to be acknowledged “as an author of a report from the Flight Research Division.” Vaughan, who passed in 2008, was a computer programmer who led the then segregated West Area Computing unit at the National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics (NACA), now known as NASA.

Senator Kamala Harris introduced the bill to honor the women calling them “pioneers and a beacon for Black women across the country, both young and old.” In a statement released to the press Harris said, “The groundbreaking accomplishments of these four women, and all of the women who contributed to the success of NASA, helped us win the space race but remained in the dark far too long. I am proud our bill to honor these remarkable women has passed Congress.”

It was Margot Lee Shetterly’s 2016 book “Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Women Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race,” that shined a light on these women. The film adaptation starring Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monae further enhanced the women’s profiles and helped uncover their enormous contributions to the areas of science, math and technology.

The Hidden Figures Congressional Gold Medal Act is endorsed by the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics, the Association for Women in Science, the Thurgood Marshall College Fund, the United Negro College Fund, the Hampton Roads Association for the Study of African American Life and History, the National Congress of Black Women and many more.

In self development November 18, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

16-YEAR-OLD CLEVELAND STUDENT OPTS FOR PILOT’S LICENSE BEFORE DRIVER’S LICENSE

Channeling the trailblazer Bessie Coleman, , 16-year-old Sydney-Marie Flowers is scheduled to receive her private pilot’s license this school year. She’ll be cleared to fly the friendly skies before she receives her driver’s license, reports WKYC.

Flowers is a student at Davis Aerospace and Maritime High School in Cleveland, Ohio. She received her student pilot certificate this summer and is now on track to get her license by the end of this school year.

The high school student attended a local aviation camp where she received top honors. Flowers was then chosen to attend a national camp in Tuskegee, Alabama, sponsored by the U.S. Air Force. It was there, on the same field that the Tuskegee Airmen trained, that Flowers took her first solo flight.

“They only pick 20 students out of the whole entire country. I just felt that it was a real accomplishment for me, and also a privilege to step on the same field the Tuskegee Airmen stepped on,” Flowers told WKYC.

But the training was not without its fair share of challenges. Flowers said it was rigorous and she ran into some bumps during her final landing, but all in all, she did well and passed. Her mother, Marie-Lynn Ogletree said she shed a few tears watching her daughter take her final exam.

“I am extremely proud of my daughter. She made goals and she’s pretty much aced every goal,” Ogletree said.

Both mother and daughter said that none of this would be possible without Davis A&M High School and the nonprofit that helped launch the school, PHASTAR. The nonprofit partners with schools, government and other industries to provide maritime and aerospace experiences for high school students with the goal of “[arming] students and adults with the tools to break the cycle of poverty and achieve self-sufficiency.”

Flowers is now one of an elite and tiny group of Black women pilots. Blavity reports that “only 4.4% of airline transport pilots are women and only 2.7% are Black according to the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration.”

Congratulations Sydney-Marie! You’re flying high now!

Photo Courtesy of WKYC/Blavity

In Rubygirls November 15, 2019 By Women of Rubies

#RUBYGIRLS| “I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT CHANGING THE VIEW OF MENTAL HEALTHCARE IN NIGERIA AND AFRICA AS A WHOLE” – TOLUWANI ADEBAYO

Toluwani Eyitayo Adebayo is a Medical Doctor in training at Bowen University, Iwo. She is the second child of a family of seven. She has about two years experience of being a mental health advocate.

Currently, she is an ambassador of YOUTHLEAD TEAM, 2019 kectil colleague, 2019 AFRICAVE fellow, 2019 Yali Rlc West Africa fellow, an open source leader of the common purpose global leadership UK and a member of MHIN (Mental Health Innovative Network.)

Toluwani loves volunteering, reading, travelling and networking with great minds.

She shares her ‘Ruby Girl’ story in this interview.

MEET ME

TOLUWANI EYITAYO ADEBAYO is a Medical Doctor in training at Bowen University, Iwo. I am the second child of a family of seven. I have about two years experience of being a mental health advocate.

Currently, I am an ambassador of YOUTHLEAD TEAM, 2019 kectil colleague,2019 AFRICAVE fellow, 2019 Yali Rlc West Africa fellow, an open source leader of the common purpose global leadership UK and a member of MHIN(Mental Health Innovative Network.)

Toluwani is a student volunteer who believes in changing the world’s perspective about mental health.

HOBBIES

I enjoy volunteering, reading, travelling and networking with great minds.

INSPIRATION

God has been my greatest source of inspiration, my parents and great mentors like Ms Florence Olumodimu, Ms Tejiri Emuveyan, Dr. P.O peters, Dr Adewale Adeluyi have been inspiring me greatly and encouraging me to become a better version of myself

WHY I CHOSE TO SPECIALIZE IN MENTAL HEALTH

There has been an increase in the incidence of mental health condition, in Nigeria and the world at large and people with mental health conditions are commonly stigmatized.

As a result of this, I have developed a passion to change the view of mental healthcare in Nigeria in particular and in Africa as a whole. I am trying to change the perspective of people by using measurable actions in the aspects of sensitizing and caring for mental health patients.

ON GIVING UP

Well…. There have been times I felt like giving up on school,career and building myself but during those darkest moments, I pray to God and I remember the reason why I chose this path. This has helped me to come out stronger and better. Also, I continuously remind myself to never despise days of humble beginnings.

BEST QUOTE

“If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.”
— Dolly Parton

WHAT I WILL LIKE TO CHANGE ABOUT MYSELF

Currently, I have been working on procrastination. Having discussed I procrastinate a lot, I have been actively doing things as they pop up as a corrective measure.

WHAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT

The fear of failure has been one of the things that keeps up.
Fear of disappointing my parents and my self as well.

IF GIVEN THE CHANCE TO BECOME THE PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA FOR A DAY

I will focus more on health sector of the nation reason being I actively relate with Sustainable Development Goal 3 which is to ensure healthy lives and promote wellbeing for all at all ages.

1.This will reduce the maternal mortality ratio to less than 70 per 100 000 live births.

2. This will help in ending preventable deaths of newborns and children under 5 years of age.

ON DEPRESSION AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT…

Depression comes in different colours as it looks different on everyone. So Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe and can include:

¶Feeling sad

¶Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed

¶Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting

¶Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

¶Loss of energy or increased fatigue

¶Increase in purposeless physical activity

¶Feeling worthless or guilty

¶Difficulty in thinking, concentrating or making decisions

And the common one
¶ Thoughts of death or suicide

Coping with depression:

∆Reach out and stay connected
Reaching out might seem impossible but to snap out of depression, one must do it

Tips

¶ Look for *support* from people who make you feel safe and cared for
Talk to others that matter to you

¶ Try to to keep up with social activities even if you don’t feel like it.

¶ Join a support group for depression
¶

Improve Satisfaction

Satisfaction is a state of being, not a transient mood. Whereas cheerful emotions come and go, satisfaction is an appraisal that reflects the sum total of an experience more than a specific point in the experience.

∆ Plan to Get What You Want
Respond differently. Stop planning to be hurt and hopeless. First of all, delay thoughts of failed expectations. It is a simple refusal to think ahead about inevitable failure. Tell yourself instead that you will “face it when it happens.” If you are going to be disappointed, there will be time later to deal with it.

∆ End Isolation
Although self-care is an important part of recovery, in the short-term, getting back to social contact is highly useful. Relying on others may seem impractical or impossible in your particular situation, but taking small steps toward reliance on others, even if it is simply

∆ Most importantly,
*GET A PROFESSIONAL HELP*
SEE A DOCTOR, IF YOU DON’T FEEL BETTER AFTER TRYING ALL THESE..
You might need a pharmacological approaches.

GROWING UP…

Growing up in a Nigeria home was fun as well being stressful. My parents are academicians, so I have seen reading as a necessity to shapen myself. There are days where I would be sad or feel unhappy.

My parents have been my number one cheerleader, they have been supportive from the very start. Days of coming to watch me march during school’s inter house sports to reposting my e-fliers for online webinars. They have been amazing and this helped building my self esteem.I have 4 siblings and I am the second child/daughter, so I have had to take care of my younger siblings. This has helped in shaping me to be more compassionate.

MY BRAND IN THE NEXT 5 YEARS

In the next 5 years, the name TOLU ADEBAYO would have made significant impacts in positive social advocacy and in changing people’s perspective about mental health.

WORDS OF ADVICE TO GIRLS FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME

They should find what they are passionate about and start early.

In self development November 13, 2019 By Women of Rubies

SOCIOLOGIST, ENKESHI EL-AMIN OPENS FREE SEWING CAMP FOR KIDS AND TEACHES THEM HOW TO RUN THEIR OWN BUSINESS

Enkeshi El-Amin, a sociologist who studied at the University of Tennessee, was preparing for a career as a professor when a happy accident changed the course of her life.

El-Amin said she was interviewing for a news article about her side job as a seamstress/designer when she casually mentioned the possibility of one day opening a summer camp for kids. When the article was published, so was the idea for the camp, and support from the community came rushing in before El-Amin even knew what she was doing.

“The support from the community was overwhelming. It came from everywhere,” El-Amin said, realizing her idea was pushing towards reality quicker than she expected. “It was really an idea that was able to come to fruition through support from the community.”

Photo by: WBIR

Enkeshi El-Amin plans to expand ‘Sew It, Sell It’ to an after-school program.

Marcus Hall, the owner of Marc Nelson Denim in East Knoxville, donated studio space, and people from around the area dropped off sewing machines, food, and furniture, so kids could attend the camp for free.

By mid-July, ‘Sew It,’ Sell It‘ was ready for its first campers.

“The kids learned to sew in three days, actually make that two days. The first day was a lot of team building and getting to know each other, so they really learned to sew in two days,” El-Amin said. “I remember thinking I must be getting better or these kids are really good because they just caught on so quickly.”

When professionals like Randy Boyd or Chris Blue popped into Marc Nelson Denim to shop, Marcus Hall would bring them back to the studio, so they could meet with the campers.

Photo by: Sew It, Sell It

Singer Chris Blue takes a moment to meet with kids at ‘Sew, It Sell It’ while he shops for a new outfit at Marc Nelson Denim.

A large portion of the camp included learning how to run a business. Participants had to come up with a product and pitch it to professionals in the community at the camp’s very own market day.

“When I say I was impressed, I’m not just saying that. I was super impressed by how well they presented, how well they knew their products, how well they were able to talk about it. The judges were so impressed, they said, ‘we can’t just have three winners.’ So, they went out and got gift cards for everyone,” El-Amin said.

Tiara Hill is a sixth-grader who created ‘Bonnets By T’ with the skills she learned at camp.

Bonnets By T

Bonnets By T. 43 likes. I create bonnets because African Americans 9 times more on hair care than other populations. Which is a big investment. So I make bonnets to protect that investment.

“I created a bonnet that would protect braids. I got this idea because I wear braids, and African Americans spend a lot of money on hair care. It’s a big investment, so I created something to protect that investment. I have a waterproof one too,” Hill said, and she already has a plan for her profits. “I’m going to take most of the money and reinvest it back into the business, and I’m going to open a bank account.”

Photo by: WBIR

“I didn’t’ really think of being a business owner this early,” said 5th-grader Ja’Shonna Bryant.

Her fellow camper, Ja’Shonna Bryant, was inspired by her dog to create her business, ‘Bow Wow Doggie Boutique.’

“I made a dog vest that’s comfortable for your dog,” Bryant said. ‘I made it out of cotton fabrics and silk fabrics, so it’s soft.” Bryant said even if you don’t have a dog, you could purchase a vest, and she’ll donate it to Young Williams Animal Shelter.

Bow Wow Doggie Boutique

Bow Wow Doggie Boutique, Knoxville, Tennessee. 25 likes. Comfortable canine fashion for your furry friend!

“It’s important for our kids, especially kids of color, to learn financial literacy and learn what it means to be an entrepreneur and how to manage your money and make your money work for you. It’s important to teach them these skills and to teach them that you have something to offer the world, even at eight or nine years old,” El-Amin said.

Photo by: Enkeshi El-Amin

Enkeshi El-Amin (left) pictured with her grandmother.

“I grew up in a household where I saw a lot of entrepreneurs. My grandmother was a seamstress. Sewing was her primary income. I learned to do hair from my sisters who did hair. My sister is a hairstylist in Atlanta who has her own business. I was always around people who were starting their own business or tapping into their entrepreneur spirit,” El-Amin said, adding that she’s instilling that same spirit in a new generation of entrepreneurs.

El-Amin said she has plans to expand ‘Sew It, Sell It’ to an after-school program and exploring options to teach the same lessons to refugees as well.

Credit: https://www.wbir.com