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self development

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Have you ever lost a deal to someone less qualified? Have investors walked out on you because you didn’t sound convincing? Have you tried recovering your funds from debtors to no avail? Do you desire to mend broken business relationships before 2020? Oyinkansola Alabi has a solution for you.

A lady stormed angrily into a car dealer’s shop. She was upset with the fact that she found out that the brand new car she bought an hour ago was overpriced. Knowing she could have purchased the same brand and model of car for about $5k less somewhere else was incredibly painful.

She felt cheated, screamed, and shouted till they called the cops on her. When the cops came, they perused the purchase document, then confirmed that ownership has been transferred whether she feels cheated or not.


The lesson in this  as an observer is  life does not give you what you deserve, only what you negotiate for.

Everyone needs a Negotiator and I am so excited to introduce our newborn, ED Negotiations.

ED Negotiations is here to furnish you with clarity and stability in decisive moments. Set up a crisis plan, identify power centers, analyze power positions, prepare all decision-makers to achieve your desired outcome, a wonderful initiative by the Lead researcher and facilitator of Emotions City; Oyinkansola Alabi , who in the past few years has  worked strictly with thinkers, decision makers, influencers as well as the most vulnerable in society. She is shaping Organisational culture and instructing them on how emotional intelligence skills increase productivity, happiness and profitability.

For more information on partnerships and inquiry, kindly download the ED Negotiations brochure on www.ednegotiations.com/brochure

 

 

 

Ever felt so embarassed and heartbroken when your child snaps back at you in a really disrespectful tone that leaves you almost speechless? Or have you raised your voice on your child maybe in anger trying to give out correction only to get a raised voice in return. Every parent hates this part of growing up in their kids. No one wants to have a rather disrespectful kid who doesn’t acknowledge their parents and listen completely while they dish out vital advise.

As a parent, sometimes it seems like your day is filled with an endless stream of talk back from your kids – you hear it when you ask them to do chores, when you tell them it’s time to stop watching TV, and when you lay down rules they don’t like. It’s one of the most frustrating and exhausting things that we deal with when we raise our kids.

While this can be a part of growing up for kids and a way of helping them show the different sides they are made of, it is important for parents to understand why they shouldn’t take it completely to heart when their kids talk back at them. Most kids go through phases of trying out rude behaviour toward their parents. And all humans sometimes let a momentary irritation get the better of them, so they snap at others.Kids talk back for a variety of reasons. They may be testing their own power to see how far they can take it. They may feel disrespected by parents who overprotect or “boss” them around. Or, they may live in a home in which respectful communication isn’t a priority.

In the majority of cases, however, talking back is the child’s way of exerting his power and saying “you’re not the boss of me.” We are all hard-wired with a need for positive power – the ability to have some control over our lives. When we over-protect, over-demand, order, correct and direct, we stand in the way of our children achieving independence and personal power.

The only way our kids know how to respond is to fight back. It’s a basic fight or flight response – they can’t easily flee, so they fight back with talk back, negotiating, arguing, stomping away, eye rolling, etc.When children act out, we naturally move straight to emotion- whether it’s embarrassment, anger, or hurt and disappointment. If you respond with emotion to every sour word that comes out of your child’s mouth, you’re only showing your kid just how to get a rise out of you and get some attention, albeit negative attention. Before you respond to the bad words, remove your personal feelings from the situation. Avoid escalating the situation, take a deep breath, and show true control by controlling yourself first. Then there’s no power struggle to be had.

Here are strategies to keep in mind:
. Monitor your own language and model respect as you interact with your child, even when they sass you. In general, if you find yourself criticising or yelling, bite your tongue. Don’t be afraid to set limits, but wait until you can speak calmly and respectfully.
. Don’t take it personally. Remind yourself that your child is still learning self-control and right now they have a problem, which is causing them to lose patience. Acknowledge the problem they are having (and if appropriate offer to help), even as you set a limit about their tone. Kids think twice about hurting the feelings of parents they feel supported by. In general, strengthen your relationship with your child by looking for every opportunity to positively connect. Be sure you spend at least 15 minutes alone with each child every day, giving them your focused, positive attention.
. When your child speaks hurtfully to you, calmly confront their hurtful words or tone and set a clear expectation for respectful communication.
Photo credit: Parents.com

By Ijeoma Thomas Odia

It occurred to me that no one really prepared women for the changes in their bodies caused by pregnancy and childbearing. So we often struggled with it: from deflated breasts to big stomach club, to postpartum weight gain, to stretch marks, and so on. From the chat, I realized that it was such a serious issue that some women even stopped feeling attractive or desirable because of it and this affected the rhythm of things in their homes.

London Bridge has fallen? As in my no-bra days are over”?

Sonia’s question caused a ripple of laughter in the group.

“You haven’t even experienced it feeling like water sef” Ada opined. This caused further laughter, crying and lots of smileys on the group chat.

I was cradling my little one and couldn’t comment much at that particular time but I don’t think I had ever had that much fun reading the conversations in our young mom’s group. Apparently, Sonia, a first time mom who had just concluded her six months exclusive breastfeeding, was having a hard time processing and accepting the changes in the appearance of her boobs.

“But they used to be so perky” she insisted. Fellow young moms were laughing and typing all kinds of hilarious comments. The moms with older kids in the group were trying to convince her to take it in stride, move on, and buy “lovely bras”.

I realized that was exactly what I did with my own body changes. I “took it in stride”. It occurred to me that no one really prepared women for the changes in their bodies caused by pregnancy and childbearing. So we often struggled with it: from deflated breasts to big stomach club, to postpartum weight gain, to stretch marks, and so on. From the chat, I realized that it was such a serious issue that some women even stopped feeling attractive or desirable because of it and this affected the rhythm of things in their homes.

It then got me thinking, how best can we deal with the changes in our bodies as mothers?

Accept it for what it is

Living in denial about the bodily changes is always counterproductive. Not only that, it’ll affect your mood, attitude and inevitably, your happiness. To fix a problem, you have to first identify that it is there, then you make adequate plans to tackle it.

Deal with the things you can and forget about the rest

You could register at a local gym nearby and get to work; or if you’re pressed for time like me, you could start using a skipping rope in your spare time. No pressure. It took about 9 months for your stomach, for instance, to expand in order to accommodate your little one. So it’s only logical that it’ll take about that same time to return to normal.  You could download apps for dieting and all that, but essentially, take things easy. Join some new moms group on social media just to keep you afloat when you feel low, or talk with an OG like me, haha.

So you can’t fit into your old clothes and it’s making you feel less confident? It’s okay. Just make the decision to start doing something about it. Even if you don’t return to your previous size, you’ll feel good knowing you did something about it.

You’re beautiful and your scars are even more beautiful.

Rita Chidinma

Rita Chidinma is a Post graduate researcher at Federal University of Technology, Owerri with a passion for creative writing and fiction. She is a highly intuitive and deep thinker who uses writing as a means of self expression. In her free time she loves reading, writing and writing some more. She is a wife and mother to three kids. She can be reached on Instagram and Twitter (@theritzz_) or through email, chdinmaasogwa@gmail.com

Source: Bellanaija

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has been honoured with the Bookcity Milano Prize at the Bookcity Literary Festival!

The author revealed the news on her Instagram, sharing photos of herself looking gorgeous. She wrote: “Delighted to accept the Bookcity Milano Prize at the Bookcity Literary Festival.”

See photos below.

Photo Credit: chimamanda_adichie

Source: Bellanaija

The McKinsey Global Institute 2019 Report reveals that Africa surpasses the world in this regard.

African Women Lead the World in Corporate Board Membership – New Report

 Phuti Mahanyele, a South African business executive. CEO of Sigma Capital and former CEO of the Shanduka Group.

According to a new report, one in every four corporate board member in Africa is a woman. This is according to the gender parity report from the McKinsey Global Institute released yesterday. The news which came as a surprise to many big corporate industry players and professionals worldwide is a reflection of how far African nations have gone to embrace gender equality at the corporate level.

 

With an untamed entrepreneurial flair, these young South African women are using recycled plastic to make bricks!

Young South African Women Recycling Plastic to Make Bricks

 These young South African women are using recycled plastic to make bricks!

A sweet story of love that conquers all social boundaries.

A Beautiful Bride Who Married A Blind Man is Going Viral

 

Kenyans are optimistic despite the hardships.

She won the award for her work with young people who have suffered extremist violence.

14-year-old Cameroonian, Divina Maloum Wins International Peace Prize

 Divina Maloum receiving her award in The HagueCameroon, hague

Here are some quick ways that you can make sure that your bedroom is equipped for good sleeping patterns.