self development Archives

In self development June 2, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Enitan Facos: 3 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away

So you met a man and everything was going great between the two of you. Or so you thought.

Then, quick as lightning, he was out the door.

When it comes to relationships, women and men have unique perspectives. From first date etiquette to when to sleep with their partner, the outlooks are diverse.

However, when a man pulls away from the woman he’s seeing it’s usually for a specific reason.

Here are three HUGE mistakes you may be making that push men away.

You’re clingy

If there’s one thing that’ll send any man running it’s a clingy woman. Sure, it’s nice to be affectionate and show him that he’s on your mind, but when you make him your be and end all, he’ll start to feel smothered.

When this happens he’ll try to regain his independence by pulling away.

What’s worse is when you make it known that you’re falling for him, too quickly. Since men are looking for fun in the beginning of a relationship, letting him know that you’re already planning your future together will scare him away.

Instead of showing your emotions too soon, it’s crucial that you remain calm, cool and collected.

Remember, if a man senses that a woman wants more from him and the relationship than he’s prepared to give, he will pull away.

You’re insecure

Studies have shown that 97% of women are unhappy with their bodies at least once a day.

However, when it comes to relationships showing your insecurities is never a good idea.

Sure, it’s nice to be comfortable enough to talk about your gym routine or the healthy eating kick you’re on with your man, but if you’re asking him “Do these jeans make me look fat” or nagging anytime an attractive woman talks to him, then you’re digging your own relationship grave.

The problem is that once your insecurities start to show there’s no going back. Instead of pushing him away with your self-doubts show him your happy-go-lucky side and he’ll be hooked.

A good tip to follow is to pretend that every date with your man is a first because there’s no way you’d let him see this side of you then.

You’re unhappy without him

Just because you’re happy when you’re with him it doesn’t mean that he isn’t catching on to your negativity when he’s not in the room. In fact, if he knows that he’s your sole source of happiness then it’s likely to push him away.

The problem here is this type of situation makes him feel pressured to keep you content, and that’s a huge responsibility for anyone!

Instead of relying on him to keep you smiling, make the most of your life. Do the things that you love. When you do, you’ll not only be making yourself happier, but it’ll improve the overall quality of your relationship too.

For a deeper insight on what pushes men away take a moment and watch this free video presentation by relationship expert, Amy North.

Source: https://hackspirit.com/3-huge-mistakes-women-make-that-push-men-away/

In self development May 31, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Toddy Rosiji: 10 Signs He Loves You But Scared To Fall For You

Is your man giving you mixed signals? You think he might love you, but for some reason, he appears hesitant about it? When it comes to dealing with men and their complicated behavior, it can be tough to understand what they’re truly thinking.

After all, sometimes a man is cold BECAUSE they love you, and other times they’re cold BECAUSE they just don’t like you.

However, when you research and understand male psychology, it’s not as complicated as you might think.

So in this article, I thought we’d go over tried and true ways to figure out exactly how he is truly feeling.

We’ll also go over the reasons why he might be scared about falling in love with you.

We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.

He can’t help but stare at you

This is an obvious sign that he loves you. Guys will generally do it naturally.

Whether you’re doing something boring like working on your laptop, or you’re taking out the washing to dry, he can’t help but look at you doing it.All you have to do is glance over his way every now and then and see if you catch him looking.If he is looking, you can bet your bottom dollar that he loves you.

Also, focus on how he looks at you when you’re having a conversation with him. You’ll see the kind of puppy love eyes with a cute smile that naturally occurs when you start talking.

Once you see your man doing this, it’s a clear sign he is genuinely in love.

Now if he is scared about his feelings, he might quickly look away when he catches you looking. He doesn’t want you to know that he can’t help but look at you.

But if he maintains eye contact with you, then he definitely isn’t scared about his feelings and he is letting you know directly he likes you.

He’s ignoring you

Surely if he is ignoring you he doesn’t love you, right?Wrong!

Sometimes a guy ignores you because he loves you, particularly if he is scared about it.

Sound confusing?

Well, some guys will go out of their way to do anything but appear desperate.They don’t want to show that they love you because then that will give everything away.

It’s also a way to protect their ego.If they think that you might not be interested in them, then they’ll pull back on expressing their emotions.And the best way to do this is to ignore you.

But don’t worry, once you start showing that you’re interested, too, then he’ll come around and start expressing himself better. He won’t be scared that he is falling in love with you because he knows that you’re falling for him.

3.He remembers every little detail of what you say

We’ve all heard before men aren’t the best listeners. And to be honest, for the most part, that is probably true.But if your man loves you, he’ll listen to everything you say. He hangs on it! If you mention that you’re attending your sister’s friend’s birthday party, he’ll be the first to ask how it was the next day.

If he mentions that your allergic to peanuts, then any restaurant that he chooses for you to go to, he’ll make sure peanuts aren’t on the menu. When he’s listening unconditionally to what you’re saying, you know it’s true love.

He hangs on to your every word, and he respects what you have to say too. It comes so naturally for him, actually. He just can’t help but take note of every little thing you say.

4.He struggles to express his feelings with you

This is a clear sign that he’s scared of falling in love with you, but might be scared about those feelings. He knows he cares for you deeply, and it’s starting to worry him.

Why would it worry him? A common reason for a man is that the strong emotions he is feeling are something he can’t control.

Men like to be in control, and his feelings for you are becoming so strong that he doesn’t know how to handle it.

He won’t be able to talk about his emotions because he fears he’ll lose control.

The best he can do is avoid talking about it.

Also, it’s important to realize that men, in general, are scared of talking about their feelings.

Many men have grown up believing that they need to not let emotions affect them, so they do their best to ignore them.

So, how can you get him to open up?

The most important quality you need to show is that you’re trustworthy. Tell him you’re there for him. Open up to him so he feels comfortable opening up to you.

Sometimes, you can’t force him to talk about his emotions. You need to let him know that you’re there for him and then be patient.

5. His friends know how much he cares about you

This is a clear sign that he loves you if his friends know a huge deal about you. Perhaps they know what your job is, how you two met, and what sport you love to play. How could this be the case when he is scared to admit that he loves you?

Simple.

Guys find it much easier to communicate with their guy friends, and they’ll naturally share the details of someone they’re keen on.

It shows that he can’t get you off his mind.

What’s more, he’ll also invite you out with his friends so he can show you off.

When a guy falls in love, he becomes naturally protective of his love interest. This is basic male psychology.

When you’ve had an argument with a friend, he’ll naturally take your side.

When you cross the road, he’ll put his body on the side of the traffic.

He can’t help it.

Even if he is afraid to admit that he loves for various reasons, he won’t be able to control his actions of wanting to protect you and be your hero.

He might not have told you in words that he loves you. But you see it in everything that he does. You see it in the way he looks at you. You see it in the way he holds you. He shows it in the simplest gestures that touch your heart in the deepest ways.

7.He is acting nervous around you

This goes back to the point before about ignoring you. The reason he is feeling nervous has to do with his emotions. He is feeling something strongly and is starting to realize that he loves you.

But because of this, he’ll want to impress you at all costs.

What does this do?

It puts pressure on him to perform! He wants to make you interested in him, which will make him nervous.He doesn’t want to lose you, and he doesn’t want you to not like him.

So how can you tell if he is nervous?

Nervous people tend to be more fidgety. He also might have trouble speaking clearly around you, which will cause him to speak less.Another sign that someone is nervous is if their acting hyper or weird.

So if your man is acting a little hyper and telling weird jokes, keep in mind that he is just nervous because he likes you.

Once he starts feeling more comfortable, he’ll come around and start acting normal again.

Remember that if he loves you but is scared to admit that he loves you, this will only add to his nerves when he’s around you.

He’ll realize that he hasn’t exactly got total control over his emotions and that will make him scared, anxious, and fearful.

This will lead to even more nervous behavior that we spoke about above.

8.He constantly seeks out your advice

If he is asking for your opinion on important decisions that he needs to make, it’s obvious that he trusts your guidance and might be already in love with you.

It shows that he truly cares what you think. He thinks you’re intelligent and that you actually care about giving him good advice.

This is especially the case if he is revealing details about his life when he seeks your guidance. This is a great clue that he trusts you and desperately wants to bare his soul to you.

And if he really cares what you think, it means that he really cares about you.

9.He wants to be around you all the time

When a guy loves you, they can’t help but try to get as close as they can to their love interest. If you’re out to dinner with a group of people, he’ll somehow find a way to sit next to you. If you’re at a party, then he manages to position himself near you for the majority of the time. The funny thing is, he doesn’t really mean to. It just happens subconsciously because he loves being around you.

10.He can’t stop complimenting you

He looks at you and says you’re beautiful. He comments on how kind and caring you are. He tells you how much he appreciates the meals you cook or the job you’ve committed yourself to.

He goes out of his way to let you know that you’re awesome. And it’s obvious you’re having a bad day, he’ll do his best to lift you up by complimenting you.

It’s not because he is trying to suck up to you, it’s just that he finds it hard to say that he loves you, and instead says it in other ways.

11.He displays little signs of affection.

Don’t get twisted. The little things DO count.

Little gestures of love show that he is in love with you. He cares for you and he is thinking of you.

Those little things can be as simple as holding hands or buying you a small gift to lift your spirit ups.

It’s also a key sign if he is doing it not to impress you, but just to make you feel better.

It shows where his mind is at and what he is truly feeling. After all, it’s difficult to constantly pre-meditate little signs of affection.

And we all can say whatever we want but it’s our actions that count

12.He keeps supporting you

No matter what you’re doing, whether you’re cooking dinner for the two of you, or you’re pursuing your dreams in your career, he is always supporting you and cheering you on from the sidelines.

He wants the best for you. He wants you to realize your potential and he wants you to be fulfilled.He can’t help but encourage you to follow your dreams because your happiness is paramount to his happiness.

And when it comes to love, you support them unconditionally. That’s just how it is.

Reasons why he might be scared to fall for you

It’s all well and good to work out that he loves you and is scared about it, but the deeper issue is why the hell is he scared about it?

There could be several reasons he is scared about falling for you, some of which are more innocent than others.

So if the signs are pointing that he is scared to be falling for you, here are the most common reasons why:

1.He has just got out of a long-term relationship

He’s had a long-term relationship, and he’s been going through a tough break-up. This is extremely common.

He’s told himself he doesn’t want to be in a relationship for a while, and then you come along which starts giving him the feels.Love physically hurts because our bodies release hormones and endorphins to protect us and ready us to move as quickly as possible away from the perceived threat.But that threat lingers in our mind for days, weeks, months and even years in some cases after a bad break up. That’s why he is scared about falling for you. He doesn’t want to get hurt again.

2.He’s been hurt in the past

When you’ve been hurt in the past because a previous partner has cheated on you, or abused you, it can make you very skeptical of getting in a relationship with someone else.This is why his guard might be up, and he is naturally afraid of getting close to anyone again. But don’t worry. All this means is that you have to build trust with him. The more he trusts you, the more he’ll open up and eventually let his guard down. Remember that dating a person that’s been hurt in the past is all about making them feel safe and secure in the relationship.

When he understands that he can trust you, it will alleviate his worries about falling for someone that could potentially hurt him.

3.He doesn’t think you like him back

Can you come across as a bit of an ice queen? You know the old resting bitch face even when you don’t intend to? When it appears like you’re not interested, then you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s going to be scared about falling for you. This is can even happen in relationships, where a partner fears that they are falling much harder for their lover than their partner.

Nobody wants to be the one with stronger feelings. It can lead to neediness, desperation, and getting hurt. The good news is that there is an easy way to overcome this. All you have to do is show him that you are interested, and he’ll realize that the feelings are reciprocated. There are different ways to show him that you like him, whether it’s buying him gifts or showing him affectiob when he least expects it.

Once he knows that you like or love him, he’ll be more willing to show his feelings, too.

Source:https://hackspirit.com/signs-he-loves-you-but-is-scared/

In self development May 31, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

5 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Believe In Yourself Again

Self-love requires understanding and engaging with yourself at the most intimate level, and opening up to yourself in a way that might be uncomfortable and unfamiliar for most of us.

Here are our 5 tips to help you live with self-love:

1) Live with Intent:

Live mindfully, truthfully, and intentionally. Do not lose yourself in your moments, and if you do, find out why you lost yourself and what you can do to stay present.

Your life is limited – time is your most important currency – and the more you show yourself that you value your time, the more you prove to yourself that you love your life.

2) Live with Care:

Treat yourself well; physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Listen to your body and your mind at the most basic level – if something doesn’t make you feel good, then it is probably bad for you. Protect yourself, from the dangers of both greasy food and toxic friends.

Your mind is your window into the world; keep it clean, keep it strong, and your world will stay equally positive.

Practice a proper diet, exercise regularly, sleep enough hours, and engage in healthy social behavior that secures your personal growth.

And make sure to live with boundaries. Don’t limit yourself, but don’t confuse self-love with hedonism. Moderation is good for the soul.

3) Live with Forgiveness:

You will make mistakes. You’ve most certainly already made a ton, filling you with various bouts of guilt and regret trapped in the back of your head.

You are human, after all, and that’s what makes life worth living: the unexpectedness of your own humanity

But learn to forgive, yourself and those around you. Every day you wake up is an opportunity to grow away from the person you were the day before.

If that person made a mistake, then try to understand and forgive, as you can work towards being a different person tomorrow.

4) Live with Need:

Your mind is your greatest asset, so trust it. When presented with a situation to overindulge, ask yourself: do I need this or do I want it? In most cases, what you think you need is simply a case of you wanting it.

And while it is more than fine to pleasure yourself with your own desires every now and then, it is important to remember not to fall into self-made destructive habits based on desire and want.

Live according to what your mind, body, and soul need.

Turn away from the pleasures of laziness, of automatic happiness, of destructive behavior, because these are short-term, and they care nothing for the person you could be.

You are the only person who must live with yourself for your entire life, so make your happiness last longer than a day.

5) Live with Yourself:

And finally, it is crucial to learn to live with yourself as if you were someone else.

When faced with the task of self-loving, we think too much in the abstract; we think of it as a mental challenge, a psychological question rather than a task we can actively work towards achieving.

But loving yourself is as simple as loving anyone else, so ask yourself: how would you love yourself, if you were someone else?

Treat yourself with the same respect, kindness, and mindfulness that you would offer the people who matter most to you in your life.

Love yourself with the same patience and tenderness you would give your own child, partner, sibling, or parent.

Be kind but be stern; learn to discipline, but learn to forgive. You are your own greatest fan, your own greatest rival, and your own greatest love.

Learn to see yourself in ways you have never considered.

Self-love seems so easy in movies and shows. Just let go of the thoughts, problems, and people causing stress in your life, exchange them with sources of joy and happiness, and voila: you are a self-loving king or queen.

But true, transformative, authentic self-love isn’t so easy. While you might feel great for some time, there will be many moments when you want to give up, where you might convince yourself that your attempts at self-love are meaningless and childish and stupid, that the world is hard and cruel and you should just learn to live with it.

But don’t stop. Keep going. Self-love isn’t about happiness. It’s about improving your life as much as you currently can, and accepting it.

In self development May 28, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Raquel Daniel Celebrates Menstrual Hygiene Day with New Book “Flow”

In a world that is increasingly public about all sorts of previously private topics, menstruation shouldn’t remain a

Despite women having had periods since the dawn of time, menstruation is still not freely discussed and in some parts of the world, an off-limits topic. The information girls hear around them is often negative and sometimes incorrect. Even school health classes that discuss the subject often focus on the most basic, without ever touching on the real, practical experience of a monthly cycle. As a result, menarche, a girl’s first period is still likely to be confusing for her.

Raquel Daniel, the founder of Beyond the Classroom Foundation and an impact strategist, has unveiled a book that will increase awareness about good menstrual hygiene management and ensure that more young girls, especially those approaching puberty, are armed with the necessary information they need in order not to be caught unawares by the inevitable changes that come with menstruation.

Her new book titled, ‘FLOW: a girl’s guide to menstruation’ she offers encouraging support while answering real questions that girls have about the changes in their bodies and explains menstruation in a way that young girls can relate to. In this book, Raquel also spoke about how her late father taught her about menstruation before she turned 10, shared practical advice and busted the myths and misconceptions surrounding menstruation.

Through Beyond the Classroom Foundation, Raquel has worked with young girls in different communities, while running various projects like ‘Project Red Robots’ with which has distributed sanitary pads and education on sexual & reproductive health to over 10,000 girls across Nigeria.

According to Raquel, so many girls, especially those in the rural communities, welcome their first periods with anxiety, without knowing anything at all about menstruation. In my work with girls, I’ve seen how lack of accurate information has left some of them confused and embarrassed. She said.

While Menstrual Hygiene Day is recognized each year on May 28, it should not only be limited to this day. We must ensure that education about menstruation and the removal of the stigma around menstruation continues to occur around the world daily, Raquel added.

In self development May 26, 2020 By Women of Rubies

The Hidden Truth Behind Why Women Limit Their Dreams

There are so many women who have dreams, visions, plans and blueprints on what they want to achieve in their lives. Oftentimes those visions and plans come into fruition and other times those blueprints never lead to the building blocks they envisioned. Why is that? From time women have been taught to hold their tongues, talk themselves out of pursuing lofty goals and succumbing to the pressures of life.

The hidden truth behind why women limit their dreams is because there is this false idea that has been deeply planted in the minds of women that says, “I am not good enough.” For every “I can” there is a young woman somewhere saying, “but.” I am sure that men may experience the same limitations, however, the contexts are different. Women face an unusual amount of pressure to live up to certain expectations and social constructs that are placed upon them. All of these “pressure” points have unintended consequences that hinder a woman from fully creating the life she envisions for herself.

Most importantly, limitations are primarily seen as self-creating. Therefore external factors that cause self-limitation are not given enough attention. Insecurity is not only caused by internal issues, but is also caused by external factors. Young women need to be able to identify areas in their lives that chip away at their self-confidence. People, culture, familial expectations, and environments can serve as a big contributor to the lack of self-confidence. Self-imposed limitations compounded with external factors make it more difficult for women to pursue their dreams. The only way to move forward is by understanding that what you don’t allow to continue has no power in influencing your life.

Credit: Yetunde A. Odugbesan Omede

Guardian Woman

In self development May 25, 2020 By Women of Rubies

#MondayMotivation | How To Forgive Yourself When Nothing Goes Right

What is there to say when everything is going wrong?

You’re the one who has it all together, right? At least, you’re supposed to have it all together. But recently, things just haven’t been going the way you hoped. You’re not where you thought you’d be by now.

And you blame yourself.

If you had just worked a little harder, tried a little more or just done something different then things would have turned out differently. They would have turned out better.

But that’s where you’re wrong. It’s not your fault life didn’t go the way you planned. Here are a six things to remember when you’re stuck blaming yourself:

You’re doing the best you can

You know you’re working hard because you know how tired you are. It’s natural to be hard on yourself, but you need to think about all the good you’ve done too, because it far outweighs the mistakes you’ve made. Life is hard sometimes but that doesn’t mean you’re weak or lazy. It means you’re strong.

You can’t change the past

This might sound harsh, but it’s a reminder that you can only move forward, so why drag the past around with you? The past is meant to stay behind you, so let’s keep it there. It’s natural to still hurt from what happened but the longer you relive the pain, the longer it will stay around. Focus on the here and now and use the past as something to learn from, not something to weigh you down.

You have so many people who love you

Your friends and family love you so much. They see how hard you work and they are grateful for it. Don’t be afraid to ask them for help – that’s what they’re there for. Remember: you need to serve others just as much as you need others serve you.

You’re stronger than you know

I used to be such a scaredy-cat. I was afraid of heights, big dogs, hiking and anything else that could end with scars and broken bones. But then I made some friends who loved taking what I considered risks. Whenever I was afraid to do something for the fear of getting myself hurt, my friends would remind me that I’m “stronger than [I] know.” Their support got me out of my comfort zone and I was able to discover how tough I really am.

Take yourself out of your comfort zone to realize how strong you are. Use your trials to prove your strength, even if it’s just to yourself. It’s pretty satisfactory doing something you never dreamed you would be strong enough to do.

This will pass

Sometimes, when you’re stuck in the middle of a rough time, it’s hard to imagine that it will ever end. It’s hard to imagine that the pain won’t last forever. But it won’t. Take heart in the saying “it’s always darkest before the dawn.” The sun will rise soon and you’ll come out even better than before.

It’s OK to take a break

You’ve been working hard. The human body and brain can only take so much before it’s time to take a breather. It’s OK to take a spa day. It’s OK to take time for yourself. Don’t feel guilty for needing to take a break.

You can’t expect to have it all together all the time. No one else expects you to! You are so strong for doing all that you do. Be gentle with yourself and remember to think of these pieces of advice next time you start blaming yourself.

Source: Familyshare

Written by: Emily Brady

In self development May 25, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Ijeoma Thomas-Odia: Creating House Rules For Kids

Let’s face it: sometimes our homes can be stressful and chaotic, especially when we have children. The first step to making your home a more peaceful place is by setting house rules. Co-founder MumsAloud.com and parenting enthusiast, Tina Ok said.

House rules are important for many reasons. The first and most important is to help everyone in your household get along better, and make family life more peaceful. Another reason is for predictability. Children thrive on routine as it keeps them safe and helps them know what to expect. Having rules teach children to know exactly what is expected of them always. If there are no rules, it’s difficult for children to know how to behave.

“It is important to have house rules as they reduce power struggle and ultimately reduce the number of times we have to shout for something to get done. House rules can start at any time; for younger ones, you start by showing them what is expected of them. As they get older, you can include them in creating a house rule and remember that after a while they won’t seem like rules anymore, as it becomes what everybody expects and does automatically.”

Tina stressed that it is key to be mindful that the house rules can change especially as they get older. An easy way to set the rules will be to look around the house and identify “problem” issues that you may find yourself struggling with and having to shout about so often. Make sure it is something they can relate with like throwing school uniforms on the floor after they return from school and you having to tidy up the trail after them or leaving food crumbs on the table after eating or talking to each other rather than shouting at each other among others.
Brainstorm the problem areas with them. Ask them something like: “what is it that mummy shouts about most of the time?” They will remember this and it will help you come up with a list. Then ask them how they think they can help mummy shout less often around these problem areas. And because they are involved in coming up with solutions, it will be easy for them to remember rather than impose some random rules on them.

Make sure the rules are simple and easy enough for them to follow. Help them understand that, as a family, just like parts of the body, when they do their part it becomes easy for parents to do their part.
She added that other ways to come up with house rules could be around three main areas:

• Firstly, protection from harm (don’t go outside to play without telling any adult first, as it may be too dangerous out there. Don’t play near the kitchen when I am cooking, as you may get hurt from fire, sharp objects.

• Secondly, taking care of things (keep your toys away after playing with them so they don’t get lost and you become miserable, make your bed when you wake up, keep your clothes in the laundry basket after taking them off so that they can get washed).

• Lastly, showing respect for other members of the house (no fighting with your brother or sister as they can get hurt).

Make sure you explain the rules and the reason why it is necessary for everyone to adhere. When they understand the reason for the rule, they are most likely going to cooperate in implementing it. When you have put it together, confirm that everyone is happy with it. Then, print it on a piece of paper and place it where everyone can be reminded of it, and everyone means that adults, too, are not exempted.

Remember, when you model following the rules with your children, they will have no choice but to take after you.

Photo credit: Fantastic Services Group.

Source: Guardian

In self development May 24, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Nike Folagbade: Ladies, 3 Ways To Become Approachable By Men

For a long time, I kept turning men off with my hard look. I wasn’t always smiling. A long face became a default and this made some men stay away. I had few people who approached me to correct me but I always felt they didn’t know what they were saying.

Ladies, do you want to be more approachable?

These days, a lot of men complain that it’s difficult talking to some girls because they either get shunned or don’t even bother approaching due to what they sense from afar.

I decided to write on 3 quick tips to make you more approachable among many other tips.

Can you just smile? That was what a man told me as I came out of the bank some weeks back. I wondered if it was his business to frown but the more I frowned, the more he said, “Please just smile”. But I thought about it later on that he must have had the boldness to tell me while some ignored me because I didn’t smile. It’s not easy for men to approach ladies but your smiling face and open external attitude can reduce the fear in them.

Smiling increases good life and good health too. Please smile.

Look smart, classy and bright: To be sincere, I’m visual and I like it when people look good. This morning, I approached a lady and said, “Your gown is fine.” She didn’t hear me well, so I repeated it three times for her to notice and she smiled back and said thank you. Who no like better thing?

Looking good enhances a friendly environment and attention. Looking hot is different from nudity.

I was bad with my dressing before I got married and it made me less attractive. I shared so many wrong things I did in my book; “How I Got The Ring”. It took a lot of conscious effort, research and intentionality for me to get better.

There is a part of you that enhances your beauty, enhance it well. I have soft and nice lips, but at least, I can add a touch of wet lips or lipstick. Please don’t use lipstick to get a man if you will not use it after marriage.

Looking good is first from the mind so it has to reflect. You may look good and still not be approachable; you need to add the smile I mentioned above.

Be humble and respectful: The only way to make a man feel a little comfortable when he approaches you is by responding to his little “HI or Hello” with a courteous response. It speaks a lot. Don’t just treat people like they are nothing.

The fact that he is shorter than you want doesn’t mean you should ignore him. Be nice, you may meet again. The fact that he wasn’t in a car doesn’t mean he is not valuable either. You may be surprised at where you will meet him later on. Be careful to create a good impression even if you don’t attend to his offer.

Not all friendships should become intimate relationships so build other kinds of relationships intentionally.

What are the other ways to become approachable?

I know we have a lot of them, do tell me some.

About Nike

Nike Adedokun Folagbade helps singles build healthy relationships via break up, dating and relationships coaching.

Her goal is to help many singles recover from heartbreaks, attract and keep the right partner and build healthy relationships.

She has been featured in numerous magazines, newspaper, television and radio programs like Channels, The Punch, Business Day News, CoreTv, The guardian, City fm, Happenings Radio amongst others.

Her Facebook group, The Right Partner Community is targeted at helping one single at a time achieve their relationship milestone. She blogs at www.nikefolagbade.com and can be reached via adenikeadedokun@gmail.com or hello@nikefolagbade.com

In self development May 24, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Underestimate A Classy Lady

You may be deceived by her poise and elegance. You think that underneath it all, she may not be firm or be able to put her foot down. But don’t be fooled. Classy women are women of substance. Although their exterior appears seamless, they can very well be spitfires.

Here’s why:

She’s passionate about what she believes in

Classy women are adamant about what they feel is right and wrong, and will express their point of view. What they won’t do is demote the opinions of other well-meaning people–-they use their emotional intelligence to build bridges with others.

She knows how to set boundaries

They won’t hesitate to make their needs crystal clear and will speak up in order to get what they deserve. They don’t get bogged down with minutia and know how to use the word “no.”

She’s calm under crises

Even when they’re dealing with stressful situations, classy women know how to maintain their cool. People may wreak havoc and act out of sorts, but under pressure she conserves her energy and puts it to good use.

She’s selective about her priorities

They’re choosy about what they focus their attention on – not because they don’t care about others’ concerns, but because they know what takes precedence. If they have a deadline to meet or an emergency to handle, the less immediate things can wait.

She doesn’t have to do it all

They aren’t afraid to delegate what they don’t have time to do, after all they’re only human. The ability to ask for help is a sign of their strength and knowledge of self. They’ll never see this as a weakness.

Source: womenworking.com

In self development May 24, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Toddy Rosiji: 4 Signs You Are Better Off As Friends With Him

Sometimes the line between like and love can be hard to distinguish. We’ve all been in that one relationship with a guy where all the pieces fit together perfectly.

He was charming and smart and funny and sweet and you get along like gangbusters. But in spite of all of this, there was a little voice in your head wondering…

“Would we be better off just as friends?”

Let’s get one thing straight right now: There is nothing WRONG with friendship.

Friendship is dope as hell and really rewarding for the people in it. How can you tell if he’s a perfect boyfriend or better off as your bud? There are lots of different signs, but we’ve pulled together the big ones to help you out.

Here are 4 signs you and your boyfriend are better of just as best friends

You can’t imagine a future together.

You’ve been dating exclusively for a little while now. So it’s natural you stop to think about the future.

Not so natural?

Maybe you just can’t picture it. Or you don’t like what you see. You like him a lot, maybe you even love him, but when you think about making a life with him in it you draw a blank.

2. You love him but not that way.

When your friends talk about how much they love their boyfriends you get worried. Sure, you LOVE your boyfriend, but you aren’t on cloud nine or anything.

He’s a great guy, you take care of each other, you’ve got a lot of common interests. But it doesn’t seem like the storybook love affair true love is supposed to be. That’s because it isn’t … it’s true friendship.

3. You hate living with him.

You guys have been living together for a while and… You can’t stand it. It’s not that you each have quirks and need to get used to each other. It’s that you aren’t compatible as living partners romantically. You’d be better off as buddies, hell, even as roommates.

4. You want to open the relationship up.

Your relationship is going just okay. You have sex, and it’s also just okay. You don’t want to break up because it feels like there’s no real reason to. But you want to open up the relationship so that you can meet new people. Boredom and dissatisfaction in your relationship is not a sign you should open things up.

It’s a sign you’re dating a friend and not a lover.