Women of Rubies
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#WCW: CELEBRATING DEOLA SAGOE, A WOMAN OF CLASS AND TIMELESS BEAUTY!

Hello WORriors! Today is #WomanCrushWednesday and our Woman Crush is Deola Sagoe.

Deola Sagoe is a fashion designer and founder of Deola, an African haute couture fashion. She is from Ondo State in Nigeria. She has a Masters in Finance and Management from University of Miami and University of Lagos. Deola has been at the cutting edge of high fashion since 1989 and became the first black woman to present a collection at AltaRoma, Rome’s celebrated fashion week, back in 2004. Her globally appealing style has earned her an enviable clientèle that ranges from Africa’s first ladies, to society girls like Lydia Hearst, top model Alek Wek, and famous personalities such as Oprah Winfrey and Will Smith. She frequently exhibits her couture collection at Cape Town Fashion Week.

In 2000, she was nominated by the influential US Vogue Editor, Andre Leon Tally, for the M/NET Anglo Gold African Designs Award and she won. She was selected as one of four designers from Africa to show their work at New York Fashion Week in 2000.  What got her noticed was the fact that she was the only designer to showcase designs using authentic African fabrics from antiquity, but incorporated into contemporary designs.  This was the launchpad for her haute couture business to gain global recognition.  Her fashion collections have since been modelled around the world at some of the biggest and most prestigious events.

Deola Sagoe has a glamorous flagship store and headquarters on Victoria Island, Nigeria which was completed in 2008 and which houses the brand’s offices, production facilities and showrooms.  Around 20 people are employed there, working on unique runway collections and bespoke haute couture pieces for individual clients.

She is Nigeria’s representative to the United Nations World Food Program ‘Catwalk the World: Fashion for Food’ with the goal of raising money towards halving the number of hungry people in the world, particularly children, by 2015. In 2014, she made a cameo appearance in Kunle Afolayan’s film October 1, as Funmilayo Ransome Kuti. The 51 years old mother of three is fondly referred to as ‘Ambassador of ‘Blacks Don’t Crack’

 

Women Of Rubies celebrates you, Deola Sagoe!

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WOMEN OF RUBIES PARTNERS YABA LCDA  TO SENSITISE GRASSROOTS WOMEN

 

The third edition of the Women of Rubies sensitization tagged “Sensitizing Grassroots women on domestic abuse and lifestyle issues “ was held on Friday 7th of April in partnership with the Yaba Lcda  at the Oluremi Tinubu Hall within the council.

Women came out enmasse from different spheres of the community to be part of the workshop. The women were not only sensitized on the need to be empowered  but also encouraged to “Do Something”  by Chinyere Anokwuru of Self-worth Organisation, the  hostand Sole Administrator of the Local Government  ; Hon. Bayo Adefuye  encouraged them to attend more of such programmes to be enlightened and have a voice in the society, while Nollywood Actress Doris Simeon encouraged them to speak up when they are being abused, she also made them realise  Help is near an shared some helpline numbers of different Helpcentres with them, The founder of Morna International Foundation ; Bukola Ogunyeyealso buttressed on the issue of Domestic abuse , while sharing stories of women who have died in abusive relationships because they refused to speak up, Sandra Orgah from Access Bank W Community spoke on “Why women should save” the women were educated on financial independence .

Participants listening attentively as Chinyere Anokwuru speaks n “Do Something” at our grassroots sensitisation workshop ongoing at the Oluremi Tinubu hall, Yaba Lcda
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Four women were given empowerment opportunity by Chinyere Anokwuru to learn Tailoring, Catering and Computer at the Selfworth Organisation skills acquisition centre for free.

According to the Founder of Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children and Editor-In-Chief of Women of Rubies ; Esther Ijewere; the workshop once again was an  impactful learning experience for the  women in Yaba Lca and we thank the Sole Administrator for hosting and collaborating with us to add value to the lives of women in his Local council.

The next edition will be held at the Igando-Ikotun Lcda on the 13thof April, while Kosofe Lcda and Ikeja Lga  is slated for 19th and 24threspectively.

The workshop is supported by Access Woman, Power Oil, Bellanaija, Wfm917, Guardian Newspaper, Nta and Goldmyne Tv and powered  by Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children.

 

Speaker and CEO of Selfworth Organization Chinyere Anokwuru encouraging the women to do something .
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Grassroots women sensitisation workshop
One of our speakers and Ceo of Selfworth Organization; Chinyere Anokwuru at the event.
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Our Founder and editor in chief @estherijewere with Sandra Orgah (Access Woman) and Bukola Ogunyeye flanked by some of the participants at our grassroots women workshop earlier today.
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Sandra Orgah from Access Woman @thewcommunity sensitising the women on “Why you should Save”,at our grassroots sensitisation workshop today.
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Women Sensitisation Workshop The Power oil health camp team at the event #Womenofrubies
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HIV POSITIVE HORCELIE SINDA WA MBONGO CROWNED MISS CONGO UK 2017

Twenty-two year old Horcelie Sinda Wa Mbongo discovered at 11, she was HIV positive from birth.

She won the 2017 Edition of Miss Congo UK and plans to return to Congo to carry on campaigning on HIV and AIDS.

“I’m happy I’ve won at least something in my life. My story has warmed people’s hearts and that’s the most important thing,” she says.

Horcelie, who is originally from the Democratic Republic of Congo, is studying for a fine arts degree in London.

 

Source: Bellanaija

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#WCW: CELEBRATING FUNKE AKINDELE BELLO!

Hello WORriors! Our Woman Crush for this week’s edition of #WomanCrushWednesday is Funke Akindele Bello.

Funke Akindele, popularly known as ‘Jenifa’, is an actress, writer, producer, and director. She was born on August 24, 1976 in Ikorodu, Lagos State. She has an Ordinary National Diploma in Mass Communication from Moshhod Abiola Polytechnic and a Law Degree from the University of Lagos, Akoka, Yaba.

She started her acting career in 1998 when she featured in the then popular United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) sponsored sitcom; I Need To Know, which ran from 1998 to 2002. She played Bisi, a curious but highly intelligent secondary school student. Her major big break in Nollywood came in 2009 from the movie titled ‘Jenifa’, which she wrote and produced by herself. She has over a 100 movies to her credit as actress, writer and producer.

She runs a non-governmental organisation known as THE JENIFA FOUNDATION, whose aims and objectives involves nurturing talents and acquiring vocational skills.

She has been nominated and won lots of awards. Some of her awards includes, AMAA (2009) -Best Actress Leading Role, NEA Awards (2009) -Best Actress, 2012 NEA Awards -Best Actress, 2014 AMVCA Awards -Best Actress (Comedy), ELOY Awards -Brand Ambassador of the Year, 2016 Naija Fm Awards -Best Actress In Comedy, 2017 AMVCA Awards -Best Actress In A Comedy Series, Best Comedy Series (Jenifa’s Diary), among others.

Funke Akindele has a lot of endorsement deals to her name, the most recently is her being signed as Ambassador to Iroko TV. She is married to Nigerian Rapper Abdulrasheed ‘JJCSkillz’ Bello.

 

Women Of Rubies celebrates you, Funke Akindele Bello!

 

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MOST TIMES I REJECT ROLES THAT ARE NOT IN LINE WITH MY BELIEFS – JULIANA “TOYO BABY” OLAYODE

Juliana Olayode aka “Toyo Baby” speaks on her career, her role in popular TV series Jenifa’s Diary, her religious beliefs and abstinence in an interview with Punch.

Read excerpts below:

On being a part of Jenifa’s Diary: I was on my way to church when a friend invited me for an audition. The first time I auditioned, I didn’t do it well but the judges gave me another chance. I wasn’t expecting them to get back to me but they informed me some months later that I had gotten the role. That was my first time on set and I had a lovely time acting alongside experienced thespians like Yemi Solade and Tina Mba.

Working with Funke Akindele-Bello and playing Toyosi in Jenifa’s Diary has been a beautiful experience. Funke is very versatile, hard-working and a disciplinarian. She always takes her time in anything she does because she always wants to come out with the best.

On the Challenges that comes with being an actor: The challenges I have had so far have to do with working with people who don’t share my values. Most times, I reject scripts because I cannot play some roles because of my beliefs. Already, I have acted in movies like Couple of Days, Where Does Beauty Go?, Rivers Within, Click Now, and some others.

On her Sexual purity journey: I am a strong advocate for sexual purity and it goes beyond the screen for me. That is who I am and I’m not doing it for any other reason than that. Years before I began acting, God told me that He would open doors for me and that wherever I go, I should always talk about Him and sexual purity. I belong to Mine Ministry which advocates sexual purity and we have our World Virginity Day on the second Saturday in June every year.

Virginity Day isn’t only for virgins but for all who stand for sexual purity and know that virginity isn’t a thing of the past. There are lots of immoral things on social media which attract a lot of traffic but it’s sad that when you talk about something like sexual purity, people look at you like you’re doing something weird. I must confess that it has not been easy for me. But irrespective of what goes on around me and in the movie industry, I have resolved to stand tall and stay true to my values.

On being in a Relationship while advocating for purity: I am in a relationship now but I wasn’t in one when I started advocating purity. Sexual purity isn’t all about being in a relationship or not. A lot of people might think that I’m saying I’m sexually pure because I wasn’t in a relationship but there are some people that could come up to you and say they don’t want to have a relationship with you, that all they want is sex. There will always be pressure and it’s not an easy process but it’s good to stick to one’s values.

Sometimes, one may even be tempted to give it all up but I believe that people shouldn’t have sex until they’re married. I don’t need to talk about the kind of man I like because I already have a man I love.

Read the rest of the interview HERE.

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ANUOLUWAPO ADELAKUN: THE IMPORTANCE OF FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE FOR WOMEN

Yes, I am dedicating this post to the most epic TwitterNG Clap back which has been trending.

The tweets which deserve to be engraved in gold and put up in the museum of Women Empowerment (If there is any) ensued between a cheesy young man who took to Twitter to rant about being refused a chance at having a relationship with a young lady (with a self-esteem on fleek) whom he had taken out on a date. He referred to her as a ‘broke ass hungry b*tch’. The lady who identified herself as the object of contention, simply replied his tweet with a break-down of the expenses incurred on the date and a screenshot of a money transfer to the said guy as a refund + tip.

Can we all have a moment of silence in honour of this ‘Miss Independent’ move.

You see, the young lady in question might not have a well-paid job or 30 billion for the account o *in Davido’s voice*; she didn’t even have to pay him back generously as she did, but I love that she didn’t feel helpless or without a choice.

This brought to mind something that happened to one of my mother’s friends some years ago. (I’m sharing her experience with her permission of course.) She had been in a horribly abusive marriage for years. Her husband even had a long cane hidden behind the door in their room for when she ‘misbehaved’ and wasted no time flogging her silly in front of their children.  When the cane was not sufficient, he resorted to using his teeth. On one of such occasions, he bit one of her breasts and a chunk of her flesh was actually hanging on her chest.

My mother is a lawyer, but of what use was that, when her friend never wanted any help in that regard? ‘Where will I go?’ she would often ask my mother. My mother spoke to her husband on multiple occasions, but his woman was quick to cover him up.
Back to the vampire incident where the breast had been bitten; upon arrival at the hospital (you should know that this man never paid any of the bills arising from his violent outbursts)  the doctor asked what could have caused such a fracas and my mother’s friend said that she had slipped and fallen badly off the stairs. Of course, the doctors didn’t believe her (Not with his teeth imprinted in her flesh), but counselled her nonetheless.

A few years ago, this man gave his wife a date – not when he would send her out of his home, but when he would actually kill her. She ran to my mother who advised her to get a job and earn some money no matter how meagre.

She did just that (against the wishes of her husband, who believed women should be full-time housewives) and that was the beginning of her freedom.  Since the man always got angry when it was time to pay the bills, she started handling the bills. Unsurprisingly, he began to complain about how she didn’t care about him or treat him like a man. He complained, but never lifted a finger to hit her again. Why?  She now had her own money and could afford to leave him, if he abused her again.  Soon enough, he was transferred by his company to work in a state that was 12 hours away from home. He hasn’t come home visiting till this day.

And, you’re taking things too far with this issue, you may say – but I think not. We can’t overemphasise the need for women to be financially independent. In fact, most of the problems we have in the world today stem from the poverty many women face because they can’t or are not allowed or given opportunities to be financially independent. In many countries, including Nigeria, some cultures forbid women from owning or administering properties (this is one of the reasons why our gender equality bill must make a come-back in the Senate), denied employment because they will get pregnant and have babies and no one wants to pay for a breastfeeding or nappy changing vacation and yada yada.

Here’s my take on the Twitter incident: taking a lady out on a date, buying her expensive gifts, or treating her to some privileges doesn’t mean she must meet your expectations in return, or even pay you back in cash or kind. This is the grounds some men have ignorantly used to justify rape and forms of sexual violence. It is beyond sad. What if she was controlling you at the ATM or she bought the whole of Dubai mall using your credit card? Uncle, it still doesn’t mean she must have a relationship or have sex with you. Recieve sense!

Love can’t be forced, and relationships are not legal tenders for dates. If either of the parties on a date is not ‘feeling’ any chemistry or seeing any possibilities, they have a right to step back. After all, many of us have been on dates with people who have treated us very nicely, but with whom we had no relationships – we had the right to, for whatsoever reason.

More than anything,  this particular twitter thread should be empowering to ladies. Don’t be intimidated. What if he takes you out and spends more than you can afford and behaves this same way, don’t feel like you have to pay anyone back for a date they invited you to. There’s a price to be paid for everything in this life including time spent with other people on dates. Hold your head up high;  let your No be your No and your Yes be your Yes.

This is not a call to war, I simply mean that you have a choice!

 

AnuOluwapo Adelakun

About AnuOluwapo Adelakun

AnuOluwapo Adelakun is a passionate girl child and women rights advocate working on issues affecting marginalized girls and women in Nigeria. She’s a UNICEF Voices of Youth alumni, Carrington Youth Fellow of the US Consulate in Lagos, Nigeria and a UN WOMEN/Empower Women Global Champion for Change who grooms and mentors girl leaders across the globe.

Source: Bellanaija

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FOCUS ON BEING PRODUCTIVE INSTEAD OF BUSY

Being busy means doing stuff, being productive means getting stuff done. However, it seems we live in a world that rewards being busy and at times where being is praised and almost rewarded. Many of us are preoccupied with the notion that busy automatically translate into being productive. You are likely to run the risk of just feeling busy but without actually accomplishing much.

I used to be mentally and physically exhausted and felt like I never stopped

My days were ever rushed

I always felt overwhelmed and at times inundated with work

No matter how early, or how quick I tried to work, I never seemed to get anything accomplished

I used to get frustrated at the end of the day having spending my energy and achieved a few things.

Despite my input, I never achieved much and I despised this. After going through this quote, I figured what I was doing. I was being everywhere, had no focus, a million priorities but was just busy, busy being unproductive.

Ask yourself, which is better making the most out of a few hours and getting things done or taking all day’s hours and getting less accomplished. If you struggle with the answer, you are probably caught up like I was in the ‘busy’ mode, but for some of us the answer is now easy.

By being busy you are demonstrating a disturbing form of lazy thinking and thoughtless. You find yourself celebrating your mediocre performance as you can only do a lot of small things. What happens to the bigger few things where it matters most? You are a busy person if you answer the question by asking, but how could I have achieved them, my plate is always full, cant people realise how much work I have to do? The moment you find yourself in a ‘busy’ comfort zone means you are hardly productive.

It is true that as people we are limited to what we can achieve within the limits of time. With that in mind, it is paramount to effectively prioritise and set realistically achievable targets. They say if you have 3 priorities, you have priorities. However, when those priorities shoot off to 25, then you have a mess.

When you start a day with goals and objectives, you know you have been productive after getting quality work done and get closer to reaching all your goals. On the contrary, you can use up all the time looking busy but getting constantly distracted even by work that never allow you to achieve your set goals and targets.

How do I free up my time at work, business or even at home and enhance my productivity?

You should appreciate that you don’t get desired results by involving yourself even when you can automate some of the things. Some of the work can be done much easily by using software, engaging virtual assistants,

Be in love with planning, try and get demanding work by 11am and maximise on your multi-tasking abilities. Identify activities that can be simultaneously accomplished, whether they are inclusive or exclusive. It helps to free up time.

Prioritise at least 3-5 things you really need to get done. Even a machine, also gets worn out, don’t try to be a superman. There are always unforeseen circumstances that are bound to creep in, wearing you out and making it difficult to accomplish things.

You can do well managing your own clutter, but opening doors and letting in a barrage of request might just be the worst thing. At times you need to eliminate possible sources of distraction at point go. Keep away from people who burden your day with never ending request but instead zero in on your goals. Often you can easily get distracted by colleagues, friends or family who dumps time consuming request on you. As a busy person you never take a glance but are quick to say yes to all request whist a productive person takes a cautious and measure approach.

It is a certainly a must to have knowledge of what disturbs you as a step in getting productive. Ever notice how curious and anxious you can be when you notice a new facebook notification, an Instagram message, a watsapp message or even an email. You are quick to drop everything and focus on that and quickly reply. Chances are, once you start dealing with your social media or emails, you end up spending longer than even planned leaving you less focused on important tasks.

Such daily distractions whilst they keep you busy can easily fool yourself to think that you are being productive. You can hardly focus on what really makes a difference but fill your time with things add little or no value. Such distractions can easily push you off your path.

Being busy can be overwhelming but unfortunately there is nothing to show for it. Stop getting busy and start getting productive, focused on what you should be doing, prioritise and learn to say no to avoid any distractions.

Source: Sheconquers

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5 WAYS TO GET THINGS DONE EVEN WHEN YOU’RE TOTALLY UNMOTIVATED

Right, today is not just one of those days you feel like doing anything. Getting things done can be such a big ask when faced with a to do list. There are days when the mind has to wedge serious bruising battles just to get things done. Your resistance mount on when you are faced with activities, tasks or even things that seem boring or just tedious. Resistance can plague you. They are days you can’t even push yourself to get out of bed, to do your business accounts, to train in the gym or to even be at work.

They are those days some of us take Bruno Mars  “Today I dont feel like doing anything” literally and just feel like doing nothing. I am mean nothing. The days when your motivation hovers around zero and nothing gets done. Any sort of affirmations will definitely fall short. All you are saying is you can’t get yourself to feel like doing these things. Here is the tough bit, who said you need to wait until you feel like doing something.

When you think about it, it’s nonsensical that one can only do something when they feel like. Some of the most successful people are where they are because they grew into routines.  Yes you can’t take away the place for passion, but it is not every day that you are driven by some form of motivation but rather working through the routine, clocking those hours and working towards getting the results.

Imagine the relief you get when you do the things you are supposed to when you are meant to. You feel less guilty, no shame and happier that you got those things done. How can you still save the day and get results? Of-course you can still get sh*t done and here is how:

  1. Make stuff pleasurable to do

It’s a given that some things can be boring and doing them takes away everything from you.  There is a tendency to associate such things with pain and not pleasure. Its easier to associate demanding things with discomfort. Doing mundane work can shutter your interest, going through a training workout can just seem painful, studying whilst others are having fun can be unthinkable.

 

Why not think of ways to bring a bit of pleasure to it. If you are thinking of losing weight but don’t fancy dealing with weights or the sweaty smells in gyms, why not take advantage of that sport you love. The result is still the same, it doesn’t matter how you go about. Why not listen to the jams (songs) that gets you going? There is something about music, it motivates, inspires, gives us energy and even push us. It doesnt matter if you are having a rainy day, or feeling tired or bored, playing your favourite music sends you into a parallel universe where everything is great – you can be lost in it. In those moments you wouldn’t certainly mind getting on with what ever needs doing.

If music isn’t your thing, why not invite friends over. Some things are easily done when you do them with your friends. Think of an event you can bring your girl friends over for and help you get the task at hand done. Having a laugh with friends whilst revising for your degree, getting the paint job done or fixing your garden can bring a different experience.  Before you even know the work is done and the results are here.

2. Manage your time on social media

For some social media is about business and making money but for many others social media is a distraction that has morphed into an addiction. A necessary ‘evil’ that keeps our minds and fingers hovering from one social platform to the next. There is no doubt social media has taken over our lives. It is what it is, some wake up to social media and wrap up their day on it. Well you cant blame anyone, the platforms carries everything you want to know from catching up with friends, gossip, news, even checking out trending movies or products.

So I cant even ask, given a choice, getting things done or social media, what gets done. Seriously no need to ask. So everything gets parked, today, tomorrow until you feel like there is no more choice. So if social media is the evil, why not cut it off. Don’t frown I don’t mean completely. As you shove your mind around, it too loses the flow of what you want to accomplish. Choose times when you can turn off those notifications, turn off even the messages from Facebook, Watsapp your DMs on Instagram. This frees you up and get your mind set on things that need doing. The best solution I’ve found is to turn off ALL notifications from social media apps and only check at certain times of the day. As fun as social media is, it doesn’t bring the same satisfaction as getting things done!

3. Give yourself incentives

Just imagine on the day you don’t feel like it, someone all of a sudden dangles cash in front of you. Put money on the line and we all get our feet up, we start counting even the things we are gonna get. It’s funny how motivated you get when there’s money on the line. There is something in you that just says, geez forget about my feelings I am going to get this done right now. Money can indeed ‘bribe’ us to get things done.

In the same way, find incentives that can ‘bribe’ you to get things done. “I am going to train so hard and then treat myself to a cheat meal, I am going to get this work done and get myself a 15 minute break on social media”. Even the smallest things like an extended rest period can change your attitude towards getting things done. Its about luring your mind with something irresistible and getting it focused to getting the things done. In some cases for those in relationships or married, your partner can offer something that, that THING you cant resist in exchange of you completing your tasks- you know what you can’t do without. The carrot approach can be a damn good motivator.

4. Nurture your inspiration

Your levels of motivation takes a swing, shooting up and down without the needed warning. It is just how the world is, mind you we experience different things sometimes a multitude in a day from painful experiences, disappointments, excitement, and the unexpected. Your levels of motivation are prone to the variations in your every day life experiences. To keep going you need to constantly and continuously nurture your motivation. One way of getting your motivation at peak is to think of the end result, getting that business going, getting the job done, getting the degree class and looking your best. Its about results. Focus on results not the pain, disappointments or the difficulties.

5. Refresh yourself on why you are doing it

Someone remind me why I should write this business report, why does this need doing, why do I have to train always, why do I have to write the book or study? It is important to face the questions and ask why you are doing these things. Your questions will help you to focus and keep in mind that it is about the RESULTS. The reminder can help you understand the importance and purpose of getting stuff done. “I am putting the extra hours on the business proposal so I can increase my chance of getting a business loan, I am forever drenching in sweat so I can get a position in the team, I am forever in the library to ace the exam that will get me the degree and career I want”

The daily and constant reminders nurtures and drives you to get the boring stuff done because by the end of the day it is about the result. By looking at the bigger picture everything else becomes less cumbersome.

6. Get yourself an Accountability partner

No matter how bored or tired you are, there is nothing as difficult as escaping accountability. There is something about accountability that  can even make you move mountains. How would you feel when you look bad around people you regard as friends and family. You would hate to look bad, to be seen as lazy and with no motivation or desire to do any better.

So you would agree there is something about accountability that makes you do stuff. Find someone, a friend, partner or family member who takes no NONSENSE, the one who can push you through and make you accountable for the time you spend. Start by sharing your plans, goals and things you want done.  Having such friends or partners around can provide you with the much needed accountability and increased the chances of you getting most stuff done. By doing things to avoid being shamed, you become accountable to you what needs doing.

7. Change your physical environment

A change in location or scenario plays a huge part in shaping your habits and behaviors. Your physical location can either drive or stall your desire to get things done. What the mind does subconsciously is exceptional. Without paying much thought to it, you assign behaviors to certain places even in your home.  Certain places can boost your motivation and drive your desire to get things done. Instead of looking at the tasks as mundane by varying your scenario its as if the task gets more doe-able, easier, enjoyable and worth doing. There is a place that you connect with – some writers gets inspired when they sit in cafes or coffee shops, some entrepreneurs find it easier when they mix with other business people in hubs, or you could be a nature enthusiast who finds peace and tranquility motivating.

You will be surprised how changing your location can help you to get stuff done. You get into a state of flow. Without doubt where you are affects how you get things done. Certain places just gets you into the zone, the moment you step in the mind shifts and focuses on what needs doing. Time to find what works for you, what locations motivates you to get stuff done?

Source: She Conquers

 

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SIJU YUSUF : WOMEN AND SELF-ESTEEM

Feminism and its aggressive drive in recent times have opened our eyes to a lot of issues bordering on women, chief of which is self esteem.

How we value ourselves, our self-worth and how we perceive our value to the people around us, and by extension, the world is a great way to describe self-esteem. In the case of women, it reflects an overall subjective emotional valuation of her own worth, more because women are emotional beings.

Several studies have shown that men have higher self-esteem than women. A study by American Association of University women stated in 1991 that ‘girls lose their self-esteem on the way to adolescence’.

Little wonder why particular attention is being paid to grooming a more informed generation of highly confident women.

Girls in the adolescent ages show rugged standpoints on a variety of matters however, this changes as they mature into dating ages. They begin to soft pedal and relax on these beliefs in a bid to be more attractive to the opposite sex. They take on new interests and assume new personalities.

Thankfully, this trend is changing and it is indeed interesting to know that the next generation of women do not have to be stifled to be accepted, or in the dating scenes, lovable.

The mischaracterization of women and their worth has caused too much damage in our world. From acceptance in places of worship to the wrong beliefs that certain positions in the workplaces cannot be held by women. Sadly, the society will not take on the responsibility to undo this harm, the onus is on every woman to recognize and take their positions.

Successes or failures are hinged on ones perception of worth. Therefore, it is safe to say nothing is as important as how you feel and think about yourself.

The following highlights practical ways women can improve their self-esteem.

  1. Get a mentor. Have you seen a women whose strength and confidence you admire? Move close to them. Learn from them. Glean.

Many successful women are willing to help others navigate their paths because they know, more than anyone else, the hard-work, courage and strength that brought them this far. They also understand the importance of a support network.

  1. Become self-reliant. Little successes have a way of boosting self-esteem. Rather than call in a handy-man to fix the cable set-up or even the kitchen cabinet, roll up your sleeves! There is something about the feeling of accomplishment on little things that spur us on to achieve greater tasks.
  1. Positive thinking. This may actually be the very first step to take. It shouldn’t actually be a one-time event, the process should be a never ending one. The power of positive thinking cannot be over-emphasized. Positive thinking has been known to position or set people up for success and success, we already established is a great booster of self-esteem.

‘I am enough’. ‘I can do this’. ‘I am intelligent’.

  1. Attention to self. Feel good about yourself. In saying feel good about oneself, particular attention is required to be paid to hygiene, dressing, diet and general welfare. The effect of these is especially powerful. Being confident in your looks is another essential ingredient in attaining and maintaining a rich self-esteem.
  1. Be more assertive. Stand for what you believe in. Put you foot down on issues. An assertive person is more is more in charge of her emotions, after all, whatever happens, you were a major factor.

Be more in control of the places you visit and the people you let into your circle. Don’t give room to people that make you feel less about yourself. Be surrounded with people that know and appreciate your worth.

  1. Know your strength. Find your strength and build on it. Encouragement comes from when you excel at the things that you do well. Again, the feeling of success is powerful in building self-esteem. When this is achieved, it becomes easier to stretch and push further.

Finally, the points mentioned above is not a ‘one-size-fits-all’ template as some women have had their esteem severely damaged by years of abuse and neglect, requiring professional help.

A psychotherapist should be seen in such instance. A professional that will help to uncover the circumstances that led to such levels of severity and help in developing a workable plan to rejuvenation.

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STELLA DAMASUS: “I WILL NOT RAISE MY DAUGHTERS TO THINK LIKE MEN”

“Think like a man” is one of the most common statement women utter while trying to show they are strong.

In the new edition of her Soldiers In Red Lipstick vlog, Nollywood actress Stella Damasus explains why she does not agree with the statement.

“Why would you say to me, a fully grown woman, that for me to be successful, I have to think like a man,” she asks.

She said,

You have to be clear what you mean by think like a man because when you say stuffs like think like a man and you don’t explain it, people will take it that you are born a woman, you go through what you go through in life but at the end of the day, your major goal to be successful is for you to think like a man.

So if you say you want to be equals with a man and in the same breadth, you are saying as a woman, you should think like a man, it means you are admitting and saying that the man is more intelligent, the man is the one that has what it takes to be successful, the one that can run a business……

No, I refuse to accept that. And that is the reason why most of us women don’t that we are strong enough, smart enough, good enough and  intelligent enough.

I will not raise my daughters to think like a man.

 

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