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CHUKWUNETA OBY: UNDESERVING OF YOU….

Sometimes, what hurts when a relationship goes south isn’t really the end of the relationship but the emotions and resources invested!

As one grows older, you become aware of people who are undeserving of your presence in their lives and those whose absence (from your emotional space) is rather a relief.

This maAs you ‘feel’ your way through life, you will also begin to understand that real CARE is never in grandiose displays (a.k.a ‘assurance’) but in the little but consistent gestures of another towards you.

If whoever you are prioritizing in your life falls below the category before…he/she belongs to the category of PEOPLE WHO DON’T DESERVE YOU.

If all you have tried doing is ‘be a friend’ but what greets your efforts from someone who hasn’t even lifted a finger towards you, is being treated like a nuisance…he/she doesn’t deserve you.kes life a lot easy!

You are single-parenting but all your “love interest” seems to care about is YOU. Nobody who hasn’t shown sufficient interest in your “baggage” deserves you.

If the love is genuine, it should take all of you into perspective.
“Love me…love my dog,’’ remember?

When a relationship is strained, only a true friend would NOT wait for words to read the reconciliatory tone of your body language. But the one who would always want you to grovel for ‘peace’ doesn’t deserve you.
The spouse, to whom nothing (marital commitment, respect for your- person/feelings, concern for your health/family, etc) is enough to make him/her hold back from certain “misdemeanour” has long stopped deserving you.

The sanctity of marriage is expressed in the temptations out there that we hold back from yielding to.
Listen…
Everyone gets tempted to ‘misbehave,’ especially in marriage, but the one who has upheld his or her own side of the bargain simply chose to respect what he/she has with you.

And such disposition is NOT exactly borne out of weakness.
The ‘family’ that will rather resent your loving gesture, which has not come in monetary form, does not deserve you-frankly.
Of all the places where ‘money should talk’…the family should be the LEAST of such.

A family is where everyone should come as he/she is bringing along their vulnerability.

But when a family begins to carry on as if the only thing that can confer ‘worthiness’ on their own is some economic worth, such a family has become toxic to the selfless soul.

I had this conversation with a young man, recently. He feels so unworthy because he is not as comfortable economically as his siblings.
I pointed out to him that what (compassion) he is blessed with is even greater than any material worth.

Also, compared to most of them, his health is excellent and he’s been the one that is always there to help care for the ailing.

I am surprised that he has not seen how life has chosen to reward him. The combination of good health and a caring heart is a huge blessing!
If a supposed friend treats you any differently than how he treats any other-based on a social class…you are not safe with such a person.
“The worst custodians of LOYALTY are social climbers’’…says a friend.

They are the types who are constantly editing their life stories to ‘belong’.
Anybody who is incapable of cherishing the memories of little beginnings and the various actors in such settings isn’t trustworthy.

Don’t invest your emotions in that person who is all ‘caring’ only when they have a need for you.

You see that friend who makes efforts to keep in touch when he or she can conveniently look the other way?

That’s a friend to treasure for life! The age we live in has turned most of us to ‘users’ in one way or the other.

Any ‘close’ friend whose vulnerability (low moments, etc) you have never experienced isn’t on the same ‘emotional page’ with you and is most likely not as close as you think.

Sometimes, those that make you feel ‘not good enough’ are actually those that you do not belong with.
“If they don’t see anything wrong with their action…they will never stop the madness.

A toxic person, group or entity usually cannot see the fault in their actions.

When you bring it up to them, do not be alarmed if they hit you with manipulations and tactics to avoid accountability.

The older you get, the less stress you accept in your life.
You keep your circle small and you just overlook things you would have flipped out on- in the past.

When people want to leave your life, you just say “OK.’’ Ultimately, you are more peaceful and family oriented.

You just care less about the scene, fitting in and meaningless connections.

“You level up and really care about enjoying life every single day.’’ -Sylvester Mc.Nutt

Source: Guardian

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KYLIE JENNER COVERS LATEST ISSUE OF FORBES, SET TO BECOME THE YOUNGEST SELF-MADE BILLIONAIRE

The 20-year old beauty entrepreneur and reality TV star is on the cover of Forbes Magazine‘s August 2018 issue as the magazine focuses on the 60 richest, most successful women entrepreneurs in America.
The combined net worth of the top 60 self-made women is now a record $71 billion, 15% more than in 2017. These women make their money in everything from fashion and retail to biotech to trucking to venture capital.
Kylie Jenner is the youngest on the list as well as a newcomer.
According to Forbes, Kylie is currently worth an estimated $900million thanks to her cosmetics line, an empire she has built in just three short years.
Forbes says:
What her half-sister Kim Kardashian West did for booty, Jenner has done for full lips. Like Kardashian West, she has leveraged her assets to gain both fame and money. But while her sister is best-known for the former, Jenner has proved adept at the latter. In historic fashion.
Just 20 when this story publishes (she’ll turn 21 in August) and an extremely young mother (she had baby daughter Stormi in February), Jenner runs one of the hottest makeup companies ever. Kylie Cosmetics launched two years ago with a $29 “lip kit” consisting of a matching set of lipstick and lip liner and has sold more than $630 million worth of makeup since, including an estimated $330 million in 2017. Even using a conservative multiple, and applying our standard 20% discount, Forbes values her company, which has since added other cosmetics like eye shadow and concealer, at nearly $800 million. Jenner owns 100% of it.

Add to that the millions she’s earned from TV programs and endorsing products like Puma shoes and PacSun clothing, and $60 million in estimated after-tax dividends she’s taken from her company, and she’s conservatively worth $900 million, which along with her age makes her the youngest person on the fourth annual ranking of America’s Richest Self-Made Women. (We estimate that 37-year-old Kardashian West, for comparison, is worth $350 million.) But she’s not just making history as a woman. Another year of growth will make her the youngest self-made billionaire ever, male or female, trumping Mark Zuckerberg, who became a billionaire at age 23. (Snapchat’s Evan Spiegel also became a billionaire in his early 20s, though it’s less clear when he passed that threshold.)

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GRACE LADOJA MAKES VOGUE’S LIST OF MOST INFLUENTIAL WOMEN IN BRITAIN

Music Executive and media personality, Grace Ladoja, has been honored by British Vogue in the #Vogue25 list as one of the Most Influential Women in Britain.

According to British Vogue, the list was compiled to shine a light on the powerful women driving forward their respective industries.

Vogue wrote:

What does power look like now? As we assembled Vogue’s inaugural list of the most influential women working in Britain for the July issue, it became clear that this question is more complicated than ever to answer. How telling, for example, that while there have never been more women in cabinet, 2018 did not feel like a year to shine a light on the ever-shifting sands of power in the old establishment. It is no longer enough simply to hold a great office of state, it seems.

Power and influence now take many forms. It does, however, still require an eye-watering level of achievement, regardless of age (the oldest entry, Baroness Hale, is 73; the youngest, Dua Lipa, is 22). It also demands the ability to inspire, and the clout to change the conversation.

Drawing from the worlds of politics, fashion, the arts, media and sport, we have had to make notable omissions. For some, authority remains too precarious (Theresa May), for others it is eternal (the Queen). So these are the women of this year: the Vogue 25, an extraordinary cast of leaders defining – and redefining – the way we live now.

Grace Ladoja earns a coveted spot in the #Vogue25 list  (Vogue)

Praising Grace in her capacity as a Music Executive and looking at the amazing work she has done with Skepta and the whole BBK crew,

Vogue writes:

GRACE LADOJA
Music executive

When Skepta won the Mercury Prize for his album Konnichiwa, it was thanks in no small part to his manager: fast-rising music executive Grace Ladoja, otherwise known as the Godmother of Grime. In 2018, in a move unimaginable a few years ago, Buckingham Palace recognised her services to music in the New Year’s Honours List – proof of her crucial role in Britain’s burgeoning DIY music scene, and her talent for shaking up the status quo.

 

 

 

Credit: Vogue, Pulse News

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SCOTLAND BECOMES FIRST COUNTRY TO GIVE FREE SANITARY PRODUCTS TO LOW-INCOME WOMEN

The Government scheme, which aims to tackle “period poverty”, is considered a world first and will be made available to residents with little money, including girls in “school, college or university”.

Menstrual protection (Photo: BSIP/UIG via Getty Images)

According to the BBC, the scheme was first launched in July last year and, since being renewed for another six-month pilot in March, has distributed free products to more than 1,000 women.

Equalities Secretary Angela Constance has now announced plans to provide charity FareShare with more than £500,000 to extend the project to reach an estimated 18,800 more people.

As the Scotsman reports, free sanitary products will also be available to those “at school, college or university from August.”

 

The campaign to provide free feminine hygiene products was led by Community Food Initiatives North East (CFINE) – and had been welcomed by anti-poverty groups, including The Trussell Trust.

It follows growing calls demanding “dignity” for women whose budgets do not quite stretch to sanitary protection.

The scheme was – in part – inspired by Ken Loach’s 2016 film “I, Daniel Blake” which includes a scene where an impoverished female character shoplifts a packet of tampons.

Scriptwriter Paul Laverty reportedly penned the scene after meeting with women who struggled to afford essential hygiene products.

“It is unacceptable that anyone in Scotland should be unable to access sanitary products,” Constance said.

Gillian Kynoch, head of FareShare in Scotland, said: “We are excited to be working with the Scottish government to use our network to make sanitary products available to people across Scotland.”

Labour MSP Monica Lennon welcomed the extension plans, but called for a statutory requirement to ensure free provision in schools, colleges and universities as well as “placing a duty on the Scottish government to deliver a free universal system of access”.

She said: “Scotland can be a world leader in tackling period poverty if we are bold enough to take these radical steps.”

Source: konbini.com
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FEDERAL GOVERNMENT INCREASES MATERNITY LEAVE AND WORK BENEFITS FOR NIGERIAN WOMEN

The Federal Government of Nigeria has increased maternity leave for women from three to four months and this was disclosed by Minister of Labour and Employment,Senator Chris Ngige at the ongoing International Labour Conference (ILC), in Geneva, Switzerland, on Tuesday, 5th of June.

Senator Ngige also told delegates that employers of labour in the public and private sectors in the country have been barred from sacking women from work either due to their marital or maternity status, Vanguard reports.

 

Employers of labour (in Nigeria) are, by regulation, requested to provide workplace crèches for nursing mothers for ease at work place.

In the public service, government recently increased the period for maternity leave from 12 to 16 weeks; to allow enough recuperation for both baby and mother, especially in the area of breast feeding.

In addition, all disciplinary proceedings against any female staff, which might have been taken during the period of her maternity leave shall be put in abeyance till the expiration of the leave.

Employers of labour are also barred from removal of women from work due to their marital or maternity status, illegal labour migration, contract staffing and labour casualisation which affects most women, are being reformed through policies and regulations at national, bilateral and multilateral levels.”

The ratification, domestication and implementation of the Maternity Protection Convention No. 186 are conscious efforts to ensure that more women enjoy maternity protection in the country.”

However, the minister informed that a lot needed to “be done in terms of putting in place appropriate legislation, policies and practices to deal with the gender gaps that inhibit the greater participation of women in the labour force.”

He added that the most effective method of eliminating gender inequality from the workplace lies in vigorous opposition to employers’ discriminatory conducts, policies and harassment in all forms wherever and whenever they occur.

“Women who fall victim to these abuses are encouraged to oppose such through legal actions and reporting to Labour Inspectors. The infusion into Labour Inspection Guides Laws and Code of Practice, with severe sanctions and serious punitive measures are prescribed as future deterrents.

In this respect, we will need the Technical Assistance of the ILO in the area of gender audits, considering the good news that the ILO has in her pool, over 80 certified Audit facilitators. We can adopt the Train the Trainers (TOT) approach in this regard.”

 

To address gender inequality and youth unemployment in Nigeria, Mr Ngige told delegates that the federal government drew up and has been implementing an Economic Recovery and Growth Plan (ERGP).

 

Source: fabwoman.ng

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THIS WOMAN WAS FORCED TO LIVE IN A SHRINE TO PAY FOR HER UNCLE’S ADULTERY

Brigitte and her family lived in Togo while her uncle lived in Ghana.

Unknown to her father, Brigitte was going to be a Trokosi – a culture where a member of a family (female) is chosen to pay for the crime of another family member.

Trokosis are called wives of the gods and they are held in a shrine run by a priest dedicated to the worship of deities.

At the time, Brigitte was only 7 years old. She had never been to Ghana before that time; neither did she understand their language. She was just told to go and live with her uncle.

Brigitte’s uncle had committed adultery and she had to be a Trokosi, so that evil does not befall her family as it is popularly believed in the communities where it is practiced.

“The community leaders of where Trokosi is practiced believe that when there is sickness in the community, someone has sinned and there is a need to appease the gods of the land. Sometimes, the gods demand a human being, not to be killed but to be isolated.”

The Trokosi practice has survived for over 300 years and is still in practice even though it was banished since 1998.

Life as a Trokosi was a hard and difficult one especially as a child who did not know why she was dumped at a shrine.

“Each day, I was woken at 5am and sent to fetch water. I had to carry heavy buckets on my head. It was hard physical work for a child. I was made to sweep the compound and work long hours on the farm. I wasn’t allowed to play or even go to school. I was in total isolation,” Brigitte said.

Luck smiled on Brigitte when an American news crew visited the shrine to cover what was going on there. The report gave her freedom, as an American viewer flew to Ghana to negotiate her release. His name was Kenneth Perenyi and he became her adoptive father. He took her to the US where she spent the next 13 years.

Unfortunately, these girls are left wondering why they are in the shrine as they are not familiar about the practice.

Meanwhile, for the practice to be completed, there was a need for the traditional priest to sleep with the virgin girl who comes in and the girls often bare the children of the priest.

Brigitte didn’t have to go through that because she got her freedom even as a child.

“I was liberated before purity so I didn’t go through it. When I left the shrine in 1997, there were about 5000 women and children in Ghana alone. Thousands were liberated and Trokosi was made illegal in 1998 but no priest has ever been prosecuted and the practice still goes on,” she explained.

The practice is so age-long that when a Trokosi dies, another girl is brought to replace the deceased.

 

 

Credit: woman.ng

 

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THE DUCHESS OF SUSSEX, MEGHAN MARKLE TO RECEIVE SIX MONTHS INTENSIVE DUCHESS LESSONS

The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle is going to be receiving 6 months intensive duchess lessons as ordered by the Queen.

The Queen has reportedly selected one of her senior aides to spend the next six months training Meghan in how to properly act like a member of the royal family.

49-year-old Samantha Cohen, the Queen’s senior aide, has been entrusted with the task of showing the new Duchess the ropes. Cohen has even moved out from Buckingham Palace to Kensington Palace to be closer to Markle.

According to a source, “It will be six months of listening. She is seeking out advice from a range of people. She is going to proceed with humility. It is not going to be quiet, though. It is going to be a very busy office. She has worked every day of her life. She is used to a demanding schedule.”

 

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MEET THE FEMALE BIKERS WHO ARE RIDING BIKES TO SAVE WOMEN’S LIVES

The group’s members are on a mission, to permeate West Africa and teach women across the sub-region about health and hygeine.

Their name, however, and the emphasis on the term “female’ highlights the first challenge they must face, being female bikers in a society that sees bike riding as too brash and unfeminine for women.

“Some people think all women who ride bikes are crazy but the truth is women who ride bikes are some of the sanest people in the world“, one of the bikers, code named “Agent Chocolate” told BBC Pidgin.

However, the unwanted attention that comes from the novelty of seeing a female biker is often flipped to their advantage. In the right situation, it makes people gravitate towards them, not away.

“It’s a normal thing for a man to ride a bike“. Ogoru Akpevwe Attracta, a member of the group says, “but if a woman rides up on the bike, people say, “Ah – it’s a woman”

“That makes everyone gather round and then we can talk to them“, she continues. “We tell them about breast cancer, cervical cancer and how they can take care of themselves so that they can live well“.

The spectacle that is their presence is often enough to pique the random observer’s interest but sometimes, the bikers also organise events like bike rides to raise awareness for cancer.

“Last year, we did breast and cervical cancer awareness“

“We raised money, got sponsors so we could pay for women’s tests“

“We paid for over 500 women who benefited from this.”

The courage that the bikers have shown in challenging gender stereotypes is very commendable.

But even more important is the void they fill in a country where healthcare is, very often, either inadequate or too expensive for the average person.

“Cervical cancer is a disease that women are not supposed to get“, says Dr. Omolola Salako, of Sebeccly Cancer Care, “But if women go for screening, we would detect it at stage zero and limit complications“

“We want to change their minds, because some people think that all female bikers are crazy”, one of the bikers says. “But the truth is they don’t just party. They don’t just ride bikes. They’re thinking and working together, finding ways to move society forward“, a biker says.

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DR. EZINNE MERIBE: MOVING YOUR BODY DOES NOT HAVE TO BE HARD, NERVE WRACKING OR EXPENSIVE TO BE EFFECTIVE

I’m not sure how we got here but today when you use the word exercise, a lot of people even males start hyperventilating and the next thing you hear is ‘I don’t have time’. That phrase is basically a defence for covering up the truth about what is going on in their minds and that truth is simply FEAR. (For this reason, I will use movement and body movement for the rest of this post).

Fear that moving your body will be painful.

Fear that moving your body will cause you so much wear and tear that you can’t endure.

Fear that you don’t have the capacity for it.

The truth about moving your body is that TIME is not the problem. Firstly, a good number of us spend at least an hour on social media SITTING DOWN so it is not about time.

Secondly, it does not have to happen in a gym. It can even happen on your bed (wait, don’t get it twisted. There are a lot of lower body exercises and stretches you can do on your bed). So, if time and money are your excuse for not being in the gym; you don’t need a gym, you don’t even need a very large space to move your body.

Thirdly, the trepidation we feel is likely because when we see videos of people working out, most likely they are in the gym lifting heavy weights and screaming ‘GO HARD or GO HOME’ and then they flex their really huge steroid induced biceps so we tremble at the thought of needing several hours of exercise to attain that or the fact that we do not want to be that muscular especially for women. Note: lifting weights for women will not make you muscular and it is actually very beneficial for your bones and muscles to prevent osteoporosis in the long run.

Fourthly, most people consider body movement as a means to weight loss and so if I don’t need to lose weight, I don’t need to move my body. That is a lie you need to get rid of really quick. The way our bodies were created; our organs, immune system, health, mind and the whole body thrives better when we consistently move from place to place. YOU WERE NOT CREATED/DESIGNED TO BE SEDENTARY.

Lastly, it is important to note that a lot of the routines you see were designed for bodybuilders, so if it scares you leave it – you don’t need it. Walk, dance, skip, swim keep it simple. Don’t be too focused on burning calories that you miss out on the joy in movement.

Every time I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror I just go – Girl!!! Why do you bother working out?

Normally I would just giggle and walk away but recently I had answer. This body is the reason I work out. I want to have energy to fulfill my God given mission here on earth for a long time to come. I understand that people say exercise is energy sapping, maybe yes in the first few days but after Day 3, your body adjusts and you start to appreciate all the benefits of moving your body. The best part is when you get up to work out and you feel like you are not up to it, midway in you are so pumped and excited. Why because exercise has been shown to improve serotonin levels which is a mood enhancer, so not only does it make you happier you also have more energy.

It is not about the 3-hour crash workout you do on Saturdays or the 30 minutes make up workout you do whenever you remember. Find creative ways to move your body, not only will you enjoy it, you will have no reason to hate yourself while you are at it.

Moving my body also helps me keep it toned, massages my heart and muscle and keeps bone diseases at bay. Of course, I get to enjoy the vanity of crushing on my reflection *wink*

Find creative opportunities to move your body; some of us want to go buy cereal round the block, we hop in our cars. Did you know people have lost massive amounts of weight by simply clocking 10,000 steps daily?

Except I go to the gym to attend an hour class (some elderly women stay for 3 classes, never tried it cos I’m running off to go do something else), I clock in minimum of 6000 steps daily and if it’s a day I’m bent on hugging my bed real tight I dance for 10 minutes.

It is not once in a while that counts, it is the simple consistent daily action. At some point your body will even desire more than the 10 minutes and ask for more. Some days you will do 10 minutes, some days 30 minutes. An average of 10 minutes a day 4 times a week is good. But I still encourage you to use your legs more often – walk, walk, walk.

Movement can be fun and it does not have to be hard, really long and nerve wracking to be effective. Sadly, we all know the health benefits but still refuse to do it. Did you know that exercise can reduce depression and improve moods? So instead of relying solely on illicit or prescribed drugs to boost your moods, why not try exercise?

Oh, and if you have been struggling with getting a good night’s sleep, it is time to move your body.

Every quarter on my Facebook page I host The Joy in Movement Series. One of the challenges I know women face is having a fitness routine and making time for body movement.

Although most of us know the benefits of body movements, we literally run away from it, so I do this to show you that you can experience the joy in movement. And most importantly, that you can get in all the benefits of body movement in just 10 minutes 3 times a week.

This series was designed to help you solve the problem of time, money and going to the gym or having to GO HARD. Now you don’t have any excuse. Be sure to start today. You can watch the series for this quarter here.

Helpful tips.
1. Do a few squats/moves while on Netflix.
2. Learn to dance like nobody’s watching
3. Commit to an activity you enjoy and start with twice a week in your room
4. YouTube is your best friend

PS: please see hyperlink for the article.

 

 

 

BIO

Dr. Ezinne Meribe is the host of Beyond A Dress Size podcast; a podcast series that creates stimulating conversations to pull down misconceptions on nutrition, weight loss, health and body diversity while empowering women to live life beyond the numbers on the dress label, scale or tape.
She is the Lead Wellness Coach/Founder at Zinnyslifestyle, where she leverages her professional qualifications and personal experience to teach women how to OWN & LOVE their bodies and LIVE in it fabulously; having successfully won the struggle with being overweight and loving her body. A UK certified Wellness Professional with a Bachelors in Medicine and Surgery (MBBS), she completed her postgraduate training in Public Health at Kumamoto University, Japan. As a Medical Doctor and Public Health Specialist, she continues to promote preventive medicine as the number one way to combat the severe health system constraints in developing countries.

She runs a refreshing Facebook community of over 14,000 women – Healthy Yummy Mummies; where mums can lean on each other while exploring through what a healthy lifestyle means for them and their families. She understands the influence mums have on the community because when you positively influence one woman’s lifestyle, you influence her children, her husband, her siblings and of course her parents.

You can connect with her on
Instagram @zinnyslifestyle
Facebook @zinnyslifestyle
Read more on Medium @ezinnemeribe
Or send an email to info@zinnyslifestyle.com

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100 EDO SECONDARY SCHOOL STUDENTS HAVE BEEN TRAFFICKED TO LIBYA IN THE LAST 4 MONTHS

This was disclosed in Benin on Sunday during an advocacy programme by the Senior Special Assistant to Gov Godwin Obaseki on Human trafficking and illegal migration, Mr Solomon Okoduwa.

Okoduwa said this fact was disclosed  to him by some teachers in the school, concerned about how the institution has become the harvesting ground for traffickers.

Okoduwa  said government will not allow the evil to continue to thrive in the state.

Government will  step up its campaign against trafficking, he said, and the state Task Force Against Human Trafficking will be on the trail of the  human traffickers.

He warned  the students to be wary of the antics of the traffickers who are bent on deceiving them into embarking on the dangerous journey.

“Henceforth, report anyone who tells you to travel to Europe. They are simply taking you through Sahara Desert and the Mediterranean Sea and you may eventually end up in Libya.

“The number of students that have been trafficked from your school in this short period is overwhelming.

“The truth is that many of them might have been imprisoned there or facing one challenge or the other.

“Taking the route of Sahara Desert and other illegal routes is hellish.

“Many died of hunger,  many were drowned in the Mediterranean Sea in search of greener pastures.

“Worst still, the families  of those people that died on their journey were  made to pay for the travel expenses, when unknown to them  their loved ones have gone to the great beyond.

“If anyone tells you to travel abroad through Libya,  tell him or her capital ‘NO’.  If you must travel for any reason,  travel the right way.”

NAN reports that the state government had received no fewer than 3,400 Libya returnees within the last six months.

Credit: NAN, Pulse News

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