Interviews&profile Archives

In Interviews&profile January 27, 2018 By Women of Rubies

I BELIEVE THE MARRIAGE INSTITUTION IS UNDER ATTACK -SIJU YUSUF, AUTHOER- HAPPILY.EVER.AFTER.LIFE

Siju Yusuf is a relationship counsellor and writer whose articles have been featured in several online publications and websites. She currently works as a social media influencer and a contributor for several marriage and women based online magazines.

She is passionate to see people live out God’s plan for their relationships and marriages. Her debut book Happily. Ever. After. Life, is a book on actualizing the fiery happily ever after life is targeted at unmarried partners and married couples.

She loves to listen and share real-life experiences with friends. She runs a blog where she typically shares her personal experiences in mundane every-day life, with the aim of identifying to her diverse audience and inspiring hope. She is married and blessed with a son.
In this interview Siju shares her passion and the reason why the increasing rate of divorce and bad marriages inspired her to write a book. In her words “I believe in relationships, I believe in marriages, I’m a big fan for love stories and happily ever afters”

Childhood Influence
I talked a lot as a child, I talked so much my parents said I would ask from time to time, ‘Am I talking too much?’ I guess my parents noticed the strength of a communicator in me and they encouraged me. They answered almost all the questions that I asked. They also invested in novels. I read a lot as a child and I remember writing a novel at 9 where I used big words like ‘Soliloquize’. I cannot remember in what context now. My friends thought it was too big to be relevant.
Also, I remember as a child, I loved giving people a sense of being, a sense of belonging. I seemed to always have the right words to cheer people on so even though I talked a lot, I also listened a lot, which are both key to what I do now.

Meet Me!
I am Siju Yusuf. A writer, a social media influencer and a passionate women health (psychology) activist. I have two masters degrees; one in human relations and the other in media and communication. I am an optimist and very passionate about drawing virtue even from mundane things. I am a wife and a mum, most importantly, I am a child of God. House flies are my greatest phobia (lol).
My Passion
I inspire. I speak. I write. I write on topical issues to influence rational thinking with the aim of inspiring a better people.

Why I wrote “H.E.A.L”
Happily. Ever. After. Life, all about? In 2016, I woke up with a burden on my heart. There seemed to be so much divorce in the land and I knew the marriage institution was under heavy attack. Happily Ever After life is a book that marries real life experiences with the biblical illustration of marriage. It aims to help readers align, re-align to the intent of God concerning and also to wake up to the lies as postulated by the devil in this age. It’s available on amazon in ebook and paperback and a must have for every family especially newly weds.

Culture of reading as a challenge
The challenges are age-long. Interestingly because of my background, I tend to have majority of my audience from my home-country, Nigeria. The general belief is that Nigerian’s would rather watch than read. We prefer visual to textual. I am quite happy though that this is fast changing and more converts are arising. Writers are also finding new ways of interpreting graphics into texts.

Quitting the banking sector for Media…
Interestingly, the move was not something I planned for. I knew it would happen, but not at the time it did. I was on my one year maternity leave when I returned to my first love (writing). It is safe to say many things happen when our minds are freer. I was on the phone to my life coach when she said ‘Siju, your maternity leave ends in a few months, why don’t you write something?’ I remember that night, when I ended the call, I wrote 19 full articles. It was as if I had been unleashed. After my leave. I tried to go back to banking (for the money) but obviously God has other plans. I don’t regret it one bit. A lot has happened since then that would not have happened if I was still a banker. My life has been much more impactful. Purpose has been redefined and I am maximising potentials.

Other Projects & Activities
There is HUG Initiative. A non-profit organisation established to support people psychologically and materially. I run a blog and also contribute on other blogs.

Greatest Reward
Thank you! The look of fulfilment and the gratitude in the words ‘Thank you’ is enough to push me to do more.

Where I see my brand in 5 years
I honestly cannot put into words the visualised 5 years. The vision is beyond me. The feat that I have achieved today is not something I would have thought of a few years ago. I know the vision is big and we are very prepared for whatever is ahead.

Not Giving up
Giving up is relative. I have felt dejected sometimes but never to give up. I am driven not by physical strength but by psychological awareness. I am quite aware about the strength of our minds. Whatever is cooked in that space channels the course of our actions therefore, I pay a lot of attention to what happens there.

Inspired by Purpose
The realization that I am supposed to live purposefully and to impact others. There are a lot of women I admire their strengths. Too many to mention.

What makes me a woman of Rubies
Crisp. My renewed mind.

Final words
My message for women most times stems from the obvious, the patriarchal nature of the world we live. Rather than fight this fact, rather than expend energy on unnecessary debates, let us renew our minds. The freedom women seek starts from their minds.

In Career Gems January 25, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MEET THE MATHEMATICIAN TEACHING UNDERPRIVILEGED KIDS MATHS IN IGBO AND PIDGIN

Last year, the Minister for Science and Technology, Dr. Ogbonnaya Onu announced that plans were being made to teach Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) subjects in indigenous languages. But like with most promises the government makes, they disappoint and the citizens are left to make things happen for themselves.

That is exactly what Cynthia Onwuchuruba Bryte-Chinule did. Cynthia is a mathematics teacher in Port Harcourt and she teaches her students the subject in local languages, specifically Igbo and Nigerian pidgin.

(Photo: Techpoint.ng)

She’s a first-class mathematics graduate of the Nnamdi Azikiwe University and she founded PEEL Initiative, a non-profit organization particularly interested in improving education in Africa especially mathematics and impacting the lives of underprivileged kids through education.

65 million Nigerians are uneducated and an even larger, unconfirmed number do not have a firm grasp of the English language. Should that stop them from getting some form of education? No, and Cynthia seems to think so too. Her initiative runs free tutoring programs for kids: every Saturday she teaches over 40 kids and on Thursdays, she teaches at the Port Harcourt Remand Home.

https://youtu.be/O5VgXjPisrY

A lot of her students are school dropouts who do not understand the English language, so she’s simplifying it by explaining it in the languages that they do understand. She gives them math equations to solve in Nigerian pidgin using concepts they could relate to:

“For example, trying to find the sum of 5+7 became; ‘If you carry 5 yam join am with another seven yam, how many yam you go get?’ in pidgin.”

She makes short video tutorials on Facebook and YouTube in Igbo and Nigerian pidgin, which she also shares across social media, and the people love it.

She currently funds the initiative and her educational projects from her own pocket, but her team has recently started reaching out to organisations for support. But she won’t wait for funding to continue achieving her goals.

Credit: konbini.com

In Interviews&profile January 23, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MEET INSPECTOR JOSEPHINE OKEME, NIGERIA’S MOST POPULAR FEMALE WARDEN

Inspector Josephine Okeme is perhaps the most popular cop manning a traffic post in Nigeria. It is very obvious that she is warm and dedicated to her duty as many people have sworn that she takes her job seriously and always has a smile for everyone.

A mother of five, her service point is along Sabo police station, Yaba, Lagoswhere she is attached. Despite some harsh situations of life she has gone through, she daily finds reasons to remain happy and joyful.

To her credit, she has won several awards which includes JCI-Lagos Awa da, Metropolitan-2017 Toppa Award and GTBank Nominate A Champ 2017 award.

Below are some things you probably didn’t know about her which she revealed:

1. She hails from Ukwala, Delta state but was born in Apapa Lagos.

2. Her primary education was in Ladylac primary school and her secondary education in United Christian secondary school both in Apapa.

3. She furthered her education by attending a computer institute.

4. She has been nicknamed Grace Jones because of her hairstyle, tomboyish look and character.

5. She and her husband were childhood friends who grew up, liked each other and got married.

6. The Inspector is blessed with 5 children- 2 girls and 3 boys.

7. She started out as a sportswoman before joining the police force.

8. She has been controlling traffic since 2011.

9. She was enlisted into the police force through sports at National Stadium when MKO Abiola was alive.

10. She won a competition and earned a gold and silver medal after which she was enlisted into the police force.

11. She was hit by a bullion van in September 2017.

12. Inspector Josephine spends 6 hours at work daily.

13. The mother of five lives in Ogun State and goes to her workplace in Yaba daily from there.

Source: Fab Woman

In Interviews&profile January 23, 2018 By Women of Rubies

#PROFILE| MEET JESSICA COX, THE FIRST LICENCED ARMLESS PILOT

First licensed armless pilot, Jessica Cox, has the unique ability to fly planes with her legs and she is certified to fly an ERCO 415-C Ercoupe which the Federal Aviation Administration has designated a light sport aircraft.

Read these awesome facts about Jessica Cox.

1. Jessica was born February 2, 1983.

2. She lost her arms as a result of a rare child defect and has not used prosthetic arms since she was 14.

3. Jessica Cox graduated from the University of Arizona in 2005 with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a minor in communications.

4. Jessica Cox flew in a single engine airplane for the first time via Wright Flight in 2005. Cox earned her pilot’s certificate on October 10, 2008, after three years of training, and is qualified to fly a light-sport aircraft to altitudes of 10,000 feet. She received her flight training through an Able Flight scholarship and soloed under the instruction of Parrish Traweek

5. She can drive a car, fly a plane and play piano – all with her feet.

6. In 2012 Jessica married Patrick Chamberlain, her former Taekwondo instructor.

7. In 2014 Cox competed in the 40 mile segment of El Tour de Tucson.

8. In 2015 Cox published an autobiographical self-help book, Disarm Your Limits. in order to inspire people to overcome their own challenges through the lessons she has learned in her life.

9. Jessica Cox, 34, now travels around the world as a motivational speaker, using her life as an example of what one can achieve if one wants it enough.

Credit: fabwoman.ng

In Interviews&profile January 20, 2018 By Women of Rubies

“IN FIVE YEARS I SEE MYSELF SURROUNDED BY MORE FEMALES IN TECH” – SOPHIE OBOMIGHIE, 18YR OLD TECH ENTHUSIAST

18 years old Sophie Obomighie is a student of human anatomy and a budding software developer, Her story went viral on Facebook few weeks back when one of her mentors shed more light on her achievement. She is also the Brand partnership Development Manager for Girl Lead ; an enterprise involved in training girls with the aim of encouraging more girls to venture into tech and entrepreneurship. Sophie also values volunteerism and female education.

In April 2017, her team came second at NASA space apps challenge in Benin, a feat that also brought her into limelight. In her words “I am still growing and still a student so I believe my story is still being written. I believe that at the time of my graduation, I would be invaluable to the biomedical engineering/technology sector. The young tech enthusiast shares her story with me in this exclusive interview.

Growing Up

My childhood prepared me in many ways for what I do now. I am blessed with parents that are innovative, broad-minded and hardworking all of which reflected on the decisions they took on behalf of my sisters and I as regards choice of school and other activities. I grew up with my Mum actively volunteering for the society of Saint Vincent the Paul among other commitments. She is presently the international twinning coordinator for Africa. I’d say I learnt how to volunteer from her. My dad was and still is very involved with my sisters and me. He tries to be as available as possible which has contributed to my increasing self-esteem, self-worth and self-knowledge. The elementary school I attended, Trinity Foundation School and Dominican nursery and primary school, encouraged extra-curricular alongside academic excellence. I was involved in ballet, African Dance, swimming classes etc and still topped my class. My secondary school; Regina Mundi Girls’ Secondary School also contributed in that we were trained in our spiritual, intellectual and social aspects, hence, coming out ready to take the world. I am presently studying human anatomy in the University of Benin and that story is still being written. I also had an early exposure to computers. My dad once got me a laptop in primary 2 as a gift for topping the class. That was my first major exposure to computers outside computer classes in school. My sisters and I always assisted my mum in typing and creating excel sheets on her laptop. It was an exciting experience for us. My mum also enrolled us for computer trainings during the holidays. These and the friends I had and have contributed and are still contributing to what I do now.

The “GirlLead “ Initiative

The Girl LEAD project is a Social enterprise founded by Dr. Enodiana Augustine on November 2016. We are a group of like minded and innovative individuals who are causing groundbreaking change in our environment and the world at large by our actions and words. Our mission is to empower girls of college age (15-24) with entrepreneurial and technological skills to develop their potentials and enable them in their unique capacity to change the world positively. We believe women are nurturers by nature. The major reason why women in our immediate environment do not contribute substantially to technology and solving world problems is because they don’t have the required skills to do that and even when presented with the opportunity to do so, they do not still do much usually because of societal stereotypes they have come to accept especially in places like Edo State my immediate environment where girls travel overseas in search of greener pastures and I’m sure you know the story that follows. We have broken that status quo and are raising university girls to be changemakers by equipping them with the needed skills. We have had 2 sets of bootcamps now and aim to continue training more girls. I am presently the Brand and partnership manager for the GirlLEAD. I am in charge of sourcing for sponsorships and partnerships.

Gathering momentum at 18

I’ll like to say that one of my intention is to make beyond the classroom activities a norm for teenagers and youths in Nigeria. That being said, I am usually driven by different things. I get very excited when I fix bugs while programming. I also enjoy volunteering because I know I learn a lot of things through it, I get to network with people and it makes me very happy. I also treasure self development as I am aware that I can’t give what I don’t have. Long term, volunteering and self development benefits both myself and the people I come across. I am also innovative and usually have a lot of ideas and I am satisfied when I am able to bring those ideas to life. The fact that my actions will inspire others is also a great push. Lastly, stories of people that have done things I want to do also push me to do more.

What and who inspire you?

Different people for different areas of my life. My parents inspire me by their actions and words, my sisters even though still young, inspire me to do more. Many of my friends inspire me too by their actions and words. I have very awesome people as friends. I also inspire myself too. My team coming second at NASA space app challenge in April 2017.

Other Achievements

The NASA Space Apps challenge Benin regionals was a wonderful experience for me. . My team which consisted of Chudi Nwanna, Stephen Alexander Gabriel, Caleb Ikhuohon-Eboreime, Philip Obosi and I with Stephen as team lead coincidentally all students had to really work for the few days we had to complete our project. We built a repository of space terms that would enable a layman contribute substantially to space tech advancement. There is a lesson here. At that time, I did not have as much technical skills as I do now but I didn’t give that as an excuse to not participate. Eventually, I contributed more than I thought I could. Most of the excuses we have in our head don’t hold much water. Sometimes, it’s just us being lazy. We eventually qualified for globals but didn’t go so far due to insufficient votes. My family and friends and those of my team mates did a splendid job in contributing votes. I am grateful for that. The regional organisers also did a great job of bringing it to Benin because many of such events are not usually extended to Benin. Recently, there have been more of such events and startups even having headquarters in Benin. One of such is Mobicure the makers of Omomi maternal care app whom I interned with some time ago. Since I am a biomedical student, I realized the best way to balance the two was integrating it, the reason why I interned with Mobicure. It was another wonderful experience I had.

I was also a student ambassador for a Canadian based Medical tech company called Figure 1. It’s basically an instagram for medical students. A wonderful implementation of technology to the medical field. I was recently on the panel of judges for Aiesec Benin chapter’s slush with mac hackathon.

Greatest Reward
Recently, the GirlLEAD project won an award on Kampus tv. That was an indication to me that we were being noticed and were contributing substantially to our environment. I also recently got access to some very strong networks mainly because my mentor pushed me out to the world. I am happy to be making her and others proud.

Challenges

Epileptic power supply and the terrible internet access is a major problem I have. As a programmer, I usually need these for my work . At the end I still can’t give myself that excuse so I make do with what I have.

For GirlLEAD, we had a problem of convincing girls to participate, a problem I experienced first hand. Many of the girls I approached could not See themselves succeeding in tech careers hence, were uninterested in participating. The girls we have trained so far have served as tech evangelists both by words and actions to other girls.

Projection in five years

In the next 5 years, I see myself surrounded by more females in technology having influenced many of them to pursue tech careers. I also see myself contributing substantially to the software development sector as related to my course of study/area of interest . I have a global mindset and local perspective hence, in 5 years, I would have contributed substantially to my immediate environment making myself world class, hence my country. I would also at that time have concluded my undergraduate studies and started my research work in biomedical engineering which is part of my long term goals.

Do you think women in Tech have been given enough room to soar?

Yes they have. Being a woman in tech ( Using freelancing as a case study), you have more advantage to succeed reason being that you’re a minority, everybody wants you especially when you know your onions. You become invaluable. But there is a problem. Society is wired to prevent us from going far in the tech industry and any other male dominated field. We have to spend time learning how to cook, tidy the house, take care of the home etc. That is normal, it is our duty but the problem comes when girls are told to learn how to bake and boys are told to play video games hence exposing them to technology. It’s stereotypical. Why can’t they both learn the 2 or either of them but not assigning which is for who. You can be a great mum or caterer or fashion designer as a female and still find a way of implementing technology to it. We should understand also that technology is not limited to programming alone. We have graphic deisgners, technical writers, mechanical engineers, etc.

So I’ll say yes Women in Tech have been given enough room to soar because you are the only one who can give yourself permission to succeed amidst all the challenges you face. You owe that to yourself. Your actions should make so much noise that would inspire others to venture into such fields.

Other projects and activities

I am a fellow at WAAW foundation ( Working to advance STEM in African women), Uniben Chapter. It’s one of my volunteering activities. We go to secondary schools to train girls with hands-on engineering skills in energy, robotics, programming etc. I attended a 4 weeks bootcamp organized by WAAW foundation called shehacks Africa. Due to the fact that I facilitate sessions at girllead, I believe it’s important I develop myself as I can’t give what I don’t have. I was also a participant at a summer bootcamp last year called Impact labs. It was organized by students and graduates of MIT and Harvard. We were taught a lot from innovation to design process, arduino programming, rloop ( Elon Musk’s transport system) etc. I personally gained some skills as the group scribe for my team like teamwork, patience, documenting building process, hardwork etc. I am also a member of the Federation of Catholic Medical and Dental students Uniben Chapter and we usually organize annual rural outreaches. Bottom line, the ability to multi task and survive under pressure have helped me succeed.
I have also worked on a few side projects.

Giving Up

Many times. It’s very rare for ladies in fact youths generally with my kind of background to do things I do hence sometimes, I get negative responses from a few people but I have come to the realization that I am the only one that can give myself the permission to succeed. Managing all I do with my studies has also not been a bed of roses but the higher I go, the more clarity I acquire which eventually helps me in succeeding in my medical science career, programming career and volunteering activities. Having mentors and role models has also been of great help.

I am Awesome, I am a Woman of Rubies

I am a WOR because I am aware of how awesome I am and embrace that awesomeness. I use my influence to bring about positive change in the lives of others. I help others embrace their awesomeness too by means of mentorship and inspiration by my actions and words. I am a WORrior because I handle setbacks with elegance and amplify my strength.

Final word for young women who want to go into Tech
Never be deterred ladies. You have too many opportunitites to facilitate your success hence, you have no excuse. The world is waiting for you to build that app, learn that programming language or work on that website and trust me the world is not very patient. If you don’t do it, someone else will so why not fail and stand up again. You might say you’ve attended trainings and unsure if where to start from. I’d say you should find a problem in your immediate environment and solve it using technology. Do enough research on the best language or skill you need and get to work. You’ll eventually find your footing thereafter. As a programmer, you usually have to start from the top then down meaning you eventually take time to learn the basics or principles of a language having being exposed to it or having worked with it. You don’t necessarily need to be a programmer. You can be a data analyst, graphic designer, technical writing or even be in charge of project management. Go out there and break the ceiling!!!!!.

In Interviews&profile January 15, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MEET NGOZI OPARA, THE LEADING PROVIDER OF 100% VIRGIN HAIR EXTENSIONS

Ngozi Opara, founder of Heat Free Hair. The DC-based Nigerian entrepreneur is a leading provider of 100% virgin hair extensions designed to perfectly blend with a woman’s natural hair texture or curl pattern. By empowering women to embrace their natural textures through an innovative approach to protective styling, Ngozi is changing the face of the beauty industry. Heat Free Hair has once been selected as the 3rd place winner in She Leads Africa‘s annual pitch competition.

Read excerpts from her interview with She Leads Africa below;

Who is Ngozi Opara

I graduated from North Carolina A&T State University with a degree in Finance and Accounting. Keeping with my field of study, I worked as a financial analyst once I graduated although I always knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur. So I opened up a small hair studio in DC to tend to clients after work each day.

Prior to opening up my own business, I worked for eight different entrepreneurs to gain experience in business ownership and management. My interest and passion for the world of natural hair sparked from being natural myself, as well as working as a manager for natural hair care industry lead, Carol’s Daughter.

What inspired her to start Heat Free Hair

I owned a hair studio in Washington, DC. For a while back in 2011, 90% of my customers were using extensions to protect and grow out their hair. A majority of them also wanted to transition to free their hair of chemical processing and wanted to be natural.

When I noticed that during their transition with extensions they were reaching tremendous success in hair growth, but inherently experiencing breakage from heat on the portion of their hair left out, I felt like I was becoming an agent in one of the many issues surrounding black hair care, breakage.

I started thinking that there had to be some type of way for women to wear extensions as their protective style of choice, while also protecting all of their hair. Thus, the initial idea for Heat Free Hair was born.

How she started her entrepreneurial journey

I started to really save up for the launch of my business and budget my living expenses. I did this by keeping my personal expenses at a minimum while I was trying to reach my goal.

To get in the right mindset and gain motivation, I started to read a lot of success books and attend different conferences in order to learn, as well as to network with like-minded people. I used my savings from my finance job to launch the business & lived completely off of the money I earned doing hair.

How she prioritize what to spend the money raised on

At first I needed people to believe in something they hadn’t seen so I invested in good images of the product and a website. I didn’t have enough to fully stock the product so I initially offered it for preorder and eventually kept investing back into the business’ inventory.”

One thing she knows now that she wish she knew when Heat Free Hair launched?

There really isn’t anything I would go back and tell myself. I really do believe I was where I needed to be in life when I needed to be there. I learned the right lessons at the right time and because of that, I can stand comfortably and happily where I am today.

Obstacles along the road I traveled served as building blocks and I’m truly thankful for my journey and the development of my business.

Credit: She Leads Africa

In Interviews&profile October 29, 2022 By Women of Rubies

I Evolved From Being A Timid Woman Who Endured Domestic Abuse To An Assertive Woman- Olubunmi Ajai

Olubunmi Ajai (Jopa’s daughter), is a campaigner against domestic violence (DV), she also fights for the emancipation of women from the shackles placed on them by harmful cultures and traditions.

She is a blogger, Influencer and founder of GREENLANDS HAVEN FOUNDATION, a NGO that helps victims of domestic violence with emergency shelter and financial empowerment in the form of loans, grants and skills acquisition.

A former Domestic violence victim herself, she uses her experiences to teach other victims that they have the strength to leave the abuse and live fulfilling lives through her campaigns on social media, using the hashtag #LeaveTolive, which has now become a movement. Olubunmi is also an author and amazing mom .

She shares her journey with Esther Ijewere in this exclusive interview .

Childhood Influence

My childhood did not prepare me for my advocacy. I grew up in a happy home. My father and mother were happily married till my mother died on her 46th birthday. I did not grow up knowing about Domestic Violence in anyway as my father respected my mother and my mother reciprocated the respect. I grew up in a sheltered home, what you would call an ‘ajebutter’ home.

My parents came to England in the early 70s to school and left me and my two younger sisters, Yemisi and Seun, to be with our maternal grandma. Before then, we had been living in my paternal grandfather, Papa Idunmota’s house and I grew up with a lot of family around din those first few years. Then, when my parents came to England, we moved to Maami’s at Surulere where it was just us three, Mammi and our step grandfather, Papa Macauley, Herbert Macualey’s son. That was such an idyllic time of my life.

Watch: 5 Ways To Stop Being A People Pleaser

Most people who grew up with their grandparents will attest to this – grandparents spoil their grandchildren! I had an idyllic childhood but when my parents came back in the late 70s, I was brought up in a stricter environment. My mother was the shouter and beater while my dad was the quite disciplinarian.

Inspiration Behind Greenlands Haven Foundation

I actually did not set out to do advocacy in DV. My initial NGO was set up to help indigent Cancer sufferers with their medical bills but it was difficult setting up a pool of fund. What I then started doing was to do fundraising here in England for charities that has to do with Cancer treatment.

My DV advocacy was a spur of the moment action. Yet another DV victim had been killed in Nigeria and it was trending on social media. I got tired of the talking and no action. From my experience, I knew that one of the factors that makes victims stay on is that they have nowhere to go.

A lot of families will not take back their abused children as it is ignominy for the victims, usually women to come back home. For example, the Yoruba concept of ‘dalemosu’ – meaning someone who has lived with a husband and comes back home is highly discouraged. So, with the help of my Facebook friends, we raised N1m in one week and with that, we rented a flat at Ajah to be our first shelter. We then went on to have other shelters in Ibadan, PH, Abuja, Iju and Sur-lere.

We also tackled another thing that shackles victims – finances. A lot of victims, usually women are financially independent on their abusive husbands. It is pertinent to state here that abuse is not gender specific. A man may also be abused by his wife but our society discourages men from speaking out so, we have very few cases of men reporting that they are abused. The abusive husbands would have initially told the victim to not work or even barred her from working. In some cases where the woman works, some abusive husbands insist on being the custodian and spender of the woman’s money.

To eradicate this financial dependency, we gave loans and grants for business set up. We also trained victims for free in things like sewing, make up artistry and set them up by buying them sewing machines and make up kits. We now hope to set up a formal skills acquisition centre in Lagos where various skills can be learnt.

Being A Domestic Violence Survivor And Advocate

I really cannot remember the exact moment that I decided to start speaking out about my DV experience. I evolved. When I left my ex, I did some soul searching and realized that I was responsible for some things that happened to me. One of which was that I was responsible for having accepted the abuse. I resolved to never be a victim again and to be the kind of woman that a man would not be able to abuse.

Part of that involves being assertive. I have evolved over the years from being a timid woman who accepted abuse by all, not just her partner but also her friends to being an assertive woman who gives all in a relationship and walks away when that is not reciprocated by the other person in the relationship.

What And Who Inspire Me

Jane Tomlinson. She was a cancer patient who had been given the death sentence of having just a few weeks to live. She defied the odd and in the few years that she lived after that sentence, she did herculean tasks that healthy people could not do, to raise money for cancer related projects.

Oprah Winfrey. For her humanist approach to life.

Creating The #LeaveToLive Movement And Identifying With The Plight Of Victims

Ah… I have had to sort of caution myself as I became so invested emotionally in what these victims were going through. More often than not, the victims stay on after I and my team would have put things in place to help them so, I now, I try to rein my emotions in. I get a huge feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment when I help or hear that a DV victim have left their abuser. My advocacy is actually not totally altruistic as I do get a sense of pleasure and fulfilment in knowing that I have been instrumental in a DV victim leaving to live.

Greatest Reward

I have not yet gotten my greatest reward. My greatest reward would be that when I die, it would not just be my family and friends that would miss me. I want to be like Dorcas of the Bible. When I die and the whole world feels my absence, that would be my greatest reward.

Culture As A Challenge

Our culture. That is the greatest challenge that I have. Our Patriarchal culture. Timidity is also another challenge that I have. A lot of victims don’t know that they have the strength to get up and leave the abuse in order to live a great life. And of course, funding.

Where I See My Organisation In Five Years

I have registered a company limited by guarantee here in the UK. It is a kind of charity. In five years, I see myself being involved in anti DV activities here in Britain and in Nigeria. I see the NGO having a permanent structure for the skills acquisition.

I see the NGO being an employer of labour and a source of labour for these victims and also helping them to be employers of labour too. I see the British charity and the Nigerian NGO working hand in hand with each other to bring financial independence to DV victims.

Social Media As a Domestic Violence Awareness Tool And The Role Of Government

I am glad that with social media, a lot of awareness has been created but there is still a long way to go. A lot of victims don’t have access to SM and don’t have the awareness of DV issues. I want to do a documentary series to be aired on TV in Nigeria showing real life victims like me who have left the abuse and gone on to have great lives. CULTURE still shackles victims.

The government, through it’s various commissioners of women’s affairs and of culture need to embark on a sensitization project to sensitize members of the Nigerian society about the dangers of living with an abusive partner. The government also needs to provide emergency shelters for victims such as the one that the British government provided for me when I fled.

Grants should also be made available to victims to enable them be independent financially. Victims, especially female victims also need to know their rights. A lot of women don’t know that it is only the courts that can grant custody, that custody is not automatically given to the man, and that the child’s best interest is what the court looks at. A lot of women are terrified of losing their children and thus stay on in the abuse for the sake of the children

Skills Acquisition Centre And Other Projects

Like I said, I want to set up a skills acquisition centre, starting with Lagos, and then spreading to other states in Nigeria. I also want to work with the social services here in England to help DV victims, especially those of ethnic minority origins.

Giving up, never an option

No. Never. I do feel overwhelmed and wish I could do more than I am currently able to do but I have never felt like giving up. Infact, answering this question is the first time that I will be thinking of that as it has never even occurred to me. Like the singer sang, ‘we’ve only just begun’

Inspiration behind my book “Leaving to Live”

The book is called ‘Leaving to live’ and it is about how I left my life of abuse and went on to live a full live. It is a memoir and it serves two purposes. 1- that is to let people in abusive situations or even any sad situation know that they possess the strength to change their situation. If I can do it, so can they. The other purpose is to raise funding for my project – the setting up of the skills acquisition centre. The book is a honest account of my life with my ex, accepting my faults, working on them and how I then turned around my life by changing my behaviour to be able to earn respect ad find love and joy again.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am not one for blowing my own trumpet so, I would like to leave that to the reader to decide if I am worthy to be called a Woman of Rubies or not.

Final Word For Women Who Are Presently Going Through DV But Are Afraid To Break Free and Speak Up

Please know that you have the strength to get up and go. Don’t give any excuses. Don’t stay for the kids. You deserve to be happy. Your kids deserve to be in a happy environment. If your enemy died of the abuse, your kids might be shunted around or abused. Stay alive for your kids. Stay alive for you. You can do it. Leave to live.

In Interviews&profile January 12, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MEET 10-YEAR OLD JESSICA QUACHIE WHO IS DETERMINED TO PLAY FOR REAL MADRID

Just as in most parts of the world, Africa has its (unfair) share of people who still think women have no business being in sports. However, most women who believe they have a chance in the industry are waging a war against this mediocre group by participating in sports either as professional players/athletes or administrators.

It might be hard to conceive, but 10-year-old Jessica Quachie from Liberia is indirectly fighting the good fight by playing football and helping change perceptions through it.

(Photo: BBC)

Quachie was born in West Point, Liberia’s biggest slum community where she started playing football at the age of six. Speaking with BBC, she said playing with boys gives her energy, and it was in one of the street matches with boys in the neighborhood that she was spotted by the Monvrovia Football Academy.

In 2015, the academy took her in as a pupil and trainee. She quickly became a diamond in the rough, not minding that an overwhelming majority of the trainees in the academy are boys. In addition to tournaments in Liberia, she has played with boys in international competitions, like one in Abidjan which had football agents and scouts from 11 European clubs in attendance.

(Photo: Monrovia Football Academy)

Although she won’t be joining any foreign club now due to FIFA’s ban on international transfers for players who are under 18, Quachie has had the privilege of showing off for scouts from Manchester United and AS Monaco.

Now able to read because of the education she’s getting through the academy, she’s working on becoming an excellent player. She also wants to make it clear that women can participate in sports and excel in them. Say whatever you will, Quachie is bent on achieving this through a career with her dream club, Real Madrid.

(Photo: Monrovia Football Academy)

Culled from konbini.com

In Interviews&profile January 10, 2018 By Women of Rubies

TOP 10 NIGERIAN FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS MAKING NIGERIA A GLOBAL NAME

Among African countries, Nigeria is one of two major countries with strong potential to harness the opportunities and meet the challenges that the global economy could provide. It is impressive how Nigerian women are now breaking the ceilings and working hard to help boost the economy of the country. Female entrepreneurs in the country are not just making names for themselves, they are also going places, getting recognised internationally and flying/ raising the Nigeria’s flag internationally! Yes, they are breath of fresh air!

In no particular order, we bring to you list of Top 10 Nigerian Female Entrepreneurs going places and making Nigeria a global name. Check out the list below;

Tara Fela-Durotoye, founder of House of Tara

Tara Fela Durotoye is a Nigerian-born lawyer turned Africa’s leading beauty and makeup entrepreneur. She started House of Tara at the age of 20, from her living room, whilst an undergraduate at university back in 1998. She’s since gone on to launch Nigeria’s first ever bridal directory in 1999, and in 2004 she opened the country’s leading beauty academy. Today, Tara has over 3,000 reps spread across Nigeria and 14 stores to her name and she is steadfastly dedicated to realising her vision of building a globally respected beauty company of African origin. Tara remains an inspirational role-model and mentor to make-up artists and aspiring beauty business owners across Africa.

Mo Abudu, CEO of EbonyLife TV

Mosunmola Abudu, known as Mo Abudu, is a Nigerian talk show host, TV producer, media personality, human resources management consultant, entrepreneur and philanthropist. She has been described by Forbes as “Africa’s Most Successful Woman”. She has also been listed on Business Insider‘s Top 100 business visionaries creating value for the world. She is the only African on the list with a ranking of 56 on a list of 100 people from all over the world. As the head of one of Africa’s most successful new media ventures, the Nigeria-based television network EbonyLife TV, endeavors to tell real African stories and change the conversation around the continent.

Deola Sagoe, founder of Deola

Deola Sagoe, founder of Deola is the leading lady of African haute couture fashion from Ondo State in Nigeria. Deola has been at the cutting edge of high fashion since 1989 and became the first black woman to present a collection at AltaRoma, Rome’s celebrated fashion week, back in 2004. Her globally appealing style has earned her an enviable clientèle that ranges from Africa’s first ladies, to society girls like Lydia Hearst, top model Alek Wek, and famous personalities such as Oprah Winfrey and Will Smith. Deola, a mother of three, studied at the University of Miami and University of Lagos and earned a Masters in Finance and Management. She was appointed Nigeria’s representative to the United Nations World Food Program ‘Catwalk the World: Fashion for Food’ with the goal of raising money towards halving the number of hungry people in the world, particularly children, by 2015. Deola frequently exhibits her couture collection at Cape Town Fashion Week and has been an invited guest of New York Fashion Week in the past.

Olajumoke Adenowo, founder of AD Consulting

Olajumoke Adenowo, founder of AD Consulting, is a Nigerian Architect, Speaker, Radio Host, Philantropist and Author. CNN has described her as “Africa’s Starchitect”. She has been featured in the World’s foremost Architectural Journal; Architectural Record and has spoken on several platforms including the Global Women’s Forum and Harvard Business School (African Business Club). Olajumoke also hosts a Syndicated Radio show on Leadership called “Voice of Change”.

Adenike Ogunlesi, founder of Ruff ’n’ Tumble

Adenike ‘Nike’ Ogunlesi is the founder of Ruff ‘n’ Tumble a leading designer, manufacturer and retailer of designer children’s clothing in Nigeria. Nike started out modestly in 1996 selling the clothes she made from the boot of her car and in bazaars. Today, Ruff ‘n’ Tumble is an instantly recognisable brand in Nigeria and has a reputation for being one of the top manufacturers of children’s clothing throughout West Africa. Ruff ‘n’ Tumble successfully caters to the unique fashion sense of today’s youngsters, from new born to age 16, happily mixing indigenous lifestyle trends with an international appeal.

Uche Eze Pedro, Founder of BellaNaija

Uche Eze Pedro (born Uche Eze on July 26, 1984) is a Nigerian blogger, writer, social media expert and entrepreneur. She is the founder of BellaNaija, an online entertainment, fashion and lifestyle magazine. In 2014, she was named in Forbes list of “30 Most Promising Young Entrepreneurs in Africa”. BellaNaija.com becoming the go-to lifestyle, entertainment and fashion portal in Africa. Her website has established a loyal following amongst the young, cosmopolitan, upwardly mobile set in Nigeria, with over 1 million unique visitors and 9 million page views each month.

Kofo Akinkugbe, founder and CEO of Secure ID Nigeria Ltd

Kofo Akinkugbe is founder & CEO of SecureID Nigeria Ltd. She is a highly respected African business leader who has become a market leader in smart card technology and digital security. SecureID is world-class manufacturing company with the only smart card production plant in West Africa and one of only six on the continent. Her company serves 16 countries across Africa and is fully certified by VISA, Verve and MasterCard. In 2012, Kofo won the Africa Awards for Entrepreneurship Mature Business Award.

Dr Ola Orekunrin, founder of Flying Doctors Nigeria

Dr. Ola Orekunrin is a medical doctor, helicopter pilot and the healthcare entrepreneur founder of Flying Doctors Nigeria, West Africa’s first Air Ambulance Service. She’s dedicated to bringing trauma care to the most remote parts of Western Africa and her company, an air ambulance service based in Lagos, is doing just that. She was motivated to start the company after her younger sister tragically died whilst traveling in Nigeria as a consequence of their being no medical air service available to transport her to hospital. Ola graduated as a medical doctor from the University Of York in the UK and is a member of the American Academy of Aesthetic Medicine. Ola currently resides in Lagos, Nigeria where she is considered a national expert of disaster medicine and pre-hospital care. Her company has been featured on various local TV and radio stations as well as the BBC and CNN.

Omoyemi Akerele, founder of Lagos Fashion and Design Week

Omoyemi Akerele founded the Lagos Fashion and Design Week in 2011 and is also founder and artistic director of Style House Files, the organising body behind the annual four-day fashion showcase. Style House Files is a Creative Development Agency that primarily focuses on the advancement of the Nigerian and African Fashion Industry. Omoyemi is widely regarded as a driving force behind the burgeoning Nigerian fashion industry. She helps brands gain essential international exposure through presenting showcases at Pitti Immagine in Italy, and through Lagos Fashion and Design Week.

Olatorera Oniru, founder of DressMeOutlet

In Nigeria’s rapidly growing fashion retail marketplace, Olatorera Oniru and her new online retail platform are on a mission to contribute to the growth of local manufacturing in the areas of fashion and health & beauty in the country. Dressmeoutlet.com is Nigeria’s foremost retailer for high-quality fashion products, health & beauty products and home-goods. With over 1,000 products to shop from, the platform retails various sophisticated styles from premium designers globally. Dressmeoutlet.com is very strongly focused on quality, with business processes built to ensure that customers experience quality, uniformity and excellence. Dressmeoutlet.com retails the best selection of products sourced locally and internationally, ranging from dresses to shoes, and health to beauty products. Customer service is optimal as the platform ensures each individual customer gets the dedicated service they want.

In Interviews&profile January 9, 2018 By Women of Rubies

MEET FEMALE CHIEF KACHINDAMOTO WHO HAS BROKEN UP OVER 850 CHILD MARRIAGES IN MALAWI

Thirteen years ago, Theresa Kachindamoto worked as a secretary at a city college in Zomba, a district in Southern Malawi. It had been her job for 27 years. The youngest of 12 children, she was born into a family of chiefs — Malawi’s traditional authority figures — but she never expected to become a senior chief to more than 900,000 people. But when the chiefs called, telling her to pack her bags and come home, she did. She had been chosen as the next senior chief.

She was shocked when she saw girls as young as 12 with babies and teenaged husbands, and after her coronation rites, she was soon ordering the people to give up their ways and terminating underaged marriages.

Chief Kachindamoto (Photo: AJEnglish)

A 2012 United Nations survey found that more than half of Malawi’s girls were married before the age of 18, especially in rural areas where parents are eager to get girls out of the house to ease their financial burden. It ranked Malawi 8th out of 20 countries thought to have the highest child-marriage rates in the world. Last year, Malawi’s parliament passed a law forbidding marriage before the age of 18. But under the customary law of the traditional authorities, and the constitution, Malawian children can still marry with parental consent.

Early marriage wasn’t the only practice Chief Kachindamoto was against, she also banned sexual initiation rights and sexual camps. In these rural areas, parents also send their underaged children (as young as age 7) bound for marriage away to camps for “kusasa fumbi” – which means cleansing. Reportedly, at these sexual initiation camps, the girls are taught ‘how to please men’ by performing titillating dances and sex acts.

Newly-initiated children are now regarded as adults after being initiation at camps for several weeks. (Photo: News24)

Some children “graduate” only by having sex with the teacher. Others return home untouched, only to be preyed on by a local “hyena” — men hired by parents to take their girls’ virginity — or by prospective husbands to impregnate them. In a country where one in 10 people have HIV, these rites of passage — which rarely involve the use condoms — are sentencing girls to a lifetime of trauma, and, in some cases, early death.

One in five Malawian girls is a victim of sexual violence, as is one in seven boys, according to the UN Children’s Fund, UNICEF. And a lot of Malawian traditions promote sexual abuse within the family. If a girl’s aunt or older sister falls sick, she can be sent to look after the household, and in some cases will be expected to have sex with her uncle or step-brother.

Chief Kachindamoto has faced a lot of pushback. Many parents did not want to hear her pleas to keep their girls in school or her assurances that an educated girl would bring them a greater fortune. The common response was that she had no right to overturn tradition, nor, as the mother of five boys, to lecture others on the upbringing of girls.

Children at a school in Chimoya where mothers’ groups campaigning to end child marriage say parents refuse (Photo: Hannah McNeish/Al Jazeera)

Realising that she couldn’t change the traditionally set mentality of parents, Kachindamoto instead changed the law, by getting her 50 sub-chiefs to sign an agreement to abolish early marriage under the customary law and annul any existing unions in her area of authority.

And when she learned that child marriages were still taking place in some areas, she fired four male chiefs responsible for these areas. They returned months later to tell her that all marriages had been undone. After sending people to verify this, she hired the chiefs back. She then drew community members, the clergy, local committees and charities together to pass a bylaw that banned early marriage under the civil law.

Over the past four years, Kachindamoto has broken up more than 850 marriages and sent all of the children involved back to school. She often pays for, or finds other sponsors to pay for, the schooling of girls whose parents cannot afford to pay school fees.

culled from konbini.com