Dr. Nothabo Ncube “Dr.Thabo” story encourages others to face and conquer their challenges. She is a Medical Doctor, Inspirational TEDx Speaker, Coach and a Mentor originally from Zimbabwe, now living in Canada.
Her powerful story of loss, struggle and determination encourages this generation to face their challenges and conquer them.
Having lost her mother at the tender age of fourteen, at her mother’s death bed, she made a promise to her to be a doctor in Zimbabwe. Destiny led her to Canada where she and her family found themselves living in Community Housing in Toronto, subjected to social ills that could have deterred her from her path.
Dr. Thabo was selected to attend The Intimate and Interactive OPRAH WINFREY Life class on “You Become What You Believe”, Through a whirlwind of inspirational lectures, round-table discussions and media appearances on platforms like Global News TV, Radio, CBC News Network, and selected Top 4 Immigrant Women of Inspiration/Influencers in Canada by The Canadian Immigrant Magazine.
She positively influences, challenges, and reconnects the millennials with their purpose. She uses incredible wit and candor to empower young girls and women.
Dr. Thabo is on a mission to inspire hope, to be a voice of empowerment, and the bridge to many who are marginalized, powerless and voiceless. It is her intention that through her vulnerable truth they feel seen, heard, and valued.
In this interview with Esther Ijewere, Dr. Nothabo Ncube shares her Inspiring story, and how her encounter with Oprah changed her life.
Childhood Influence
My childhood fully prepared me and set a healthy foundation for all that I am today and all that am yet becoming. Both my parents were teachers, and they both instilled the value of an education from a tender age. `It was my mother’s prophesy over my life that I would one day become a medical doctor – motivational and inspirational speaking is my higher purpose and calling. It is my intention to help the girl child and women to see themselves in a bigger light.
Why Dr. Nothabo Ncube Became a Motivational Speaker
In 2011 I needed money to attend medical school. I so happened to be chatting with a friend who was based in Chicago at the time, she then suggested that I go on the Oprah Winfrey Website to see if there were any bursaries or scholarships available. I followed her lead and went on oprah.com – there was nothing related to scholarships or bursaries, the first thing that popped up was, “Tell us your story – YOU BECOME WHAT YOU BELIEVE”.
I quickly typed in my story, submitted it, and earned myself a once in a lifetime opportunity of being a part of Oprah’s Life-class. That was the day that changed my trajectory and shifted my purpose awareness. I knew in that moment; I too was called to inspire for positive change and to give people hope.
Here I am now 11 years later, a full pledged INTERNATIONAL SPEAKER travelling the world and sharing my personal story of turning struggles into strength and pain into purpose.
The Journey So Far
The journey has come with twists and turns – difficulties. If it were not for my zeal, I would have long given up. I always say you do not choose the path; it chooses you and it sustains you. I am still going strong with it, evolving with life’s motions. Thankful to live in the space of my calling and purpose. I would not trade the peace and joy that comes with living in the space of my calling and purpose.
Challenges
Some of the challenges I have faced include being resisted and being doubted. No-one ever believes until you have delivered positive results.
How My Work Inspired Other Women Around Me
My work has inspired other women to commit to their healing journey and inspired them to become deliberate creators of their best lives possible.
Other Projects And Activities
I have a young women’s mentorship program which caters to the African girl-child in the continent. We provide them with the right tools and resources to help them pursue their dreams and realize their visions.
What I Enjoy Most About My Job
I enjoy meeting and connecting with people from different works of life. I believe that through the power of storytelling we can heal individually and collectively.
3 Women Who Inspire Me And Why
My mother – she was a strong fearless woman who through example taught me that all things are possible when you believe in yourself.
Oprah Winfrey – she is the epitome of the manifestations of God’s consciousness and grace.
Michelle Obama – her nurturing warm leadership is awe-inspiring.
Dr. Nothabo Ncube Speaking
To People Who Judge Ambitious Women
I would say, ambitious women are changing the world and creating a better world for all humans, support them.
To Women Who are trying to find their voice
To support women who are trying to find their voice in society, let’s create programs and structures that help them figure out who they are and create safe spaces which give women the permission to be vulnerable and to show up as they are.
Being A Woman of Rubies
I lead a courageous and fearless life. I am a woman who is true to her purpose and living it out loud unapologetically.
To A Young Person On The Verge Of Giving Up
I would say to a young person who is on the verge of giving up, that they should hold on and that it will get better with time. Each season serves a unique purpose in their journey – that the season they are walking in is preparing, moulding, and refining them for their BIG dream and purpose.
Where I see Myself In 10 Years
I see myself as a voice of change, hope and inspiration all over the world. I hope to one day have my own radio and TV show.
Blessing Agu loved singing and dancing while growing up, and was active in the church choir, she started singing at age 8. At 13, she became the choirmaster of the St Columba’s Catholic Youth Choir, and at 15, she became the church choirmaster. Blessing studied Music at the University of Nigeria Nsukka because of her love and passion for Music. At the University of Nigeria, she represented the music department at events within and outside the University.
The American-based artist is currently a graduate student in the Sacred Music Programme in the University of Notre Dame.
She holds a diploma and bachelor’s degree in Music from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, and has worked as a Vocal and Dance teacher at Lekki British School, a Lecturer at St. Gregory Diploma School of Pastoral Music, Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos, a dance teacher at Learning Ladder Montessori, and a faculty member at HYMNODIA (a reality show centered around the singing of hymns and worship songs).
Blessing has performed in musical concerts and corporate events and played lead roles in operas and operettas with the Comic Opera House, MUSON (Music Society of Nigeria), and AMEMUSO (Abuja Metropolitan Music Society), and the Department of Music, University of Nigeria, and different parts of the world.
The beautiful singer who serenaded the audience with her rendition of the National Anthem at an event in Canada shares her inspiring journey with Esther Ijewere in this interview.
Childhood Influence
I was first introduced to the arts by my elder brother, who was a theatre and film studies student. He took me for rehearsals in his department and allowed me to sing and dance with his course mates. I joined the children’s choir at the age of eight and later joined the youth choir.
Growing up as a church girl, I had numerous opportunities to display my talent in church and school, from singing in the school choir to serving as an altar girl and a lector in the church. I auditioned for lead roles in school performances and operettas in the church, and the various roles I played helped me grow musically.
There were so many activities in the church that involved singing, dancing, acting, speaking in public, and teaching. As a lover of the arts, I participated actively in these performances and learned a lot. Thanks to Rev Sr. Perpetual Ike, who gave me my first singing lessons and prepared me for my musical journey, and to Rev Fr. Patrick Isichie, who gave me a scholarship to study music at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka.
What Inspired Me to Go into Music
As a gifted kid who could sing beautifully, I wanted to be a professional musician and wished to become better at singing, so I decided to study music to learn from the best.
My Experience as a Vocal and Dance Teacher
Teaching is exciting and fulfilling. The mere fact that I can teach and learn from my students gives me immense joy. Through teaching music and dance, I have reached out to people of various races and colors and learned their culture and way of life through communication with them and sharing beautiful memories through music and dance. Working in various schools as a teacher taught me how to be patient, understanding, and a role model. Listening to kids sing and watching them dance better gives me extraordinary joy.
The Journey So Far
My musical journey has been fascinating and challenging. It takes patience and perseverance for one to achieve musical goals. Since I decided to follow this path, I have turned every challenge and disappointment into weapons that help me conquer my fears and doubts
Challenges Blessing Agu Faced and Overcame
Some people think you do not need to study music to be a good singer or an academic musician. Convincing people on the importance of gaining musical knowledge to be professionals has been demanding, especially when people want to downplay your efforts and commitment to your profession just to make you feel less important because they think anyone can sing.
Classical musical appreciation in some parts of Nigeria is significantly tied to a particular sound they are used to hearing, so it is often challenging to gain a new audience.
The business aspect of music needs to be addressed, and most times, one ends up singing for free and not being appreciated. I struggled a lot as a singer who wanted to make a living from singing. I had to do multiple music jobs just to earn enough. With time, I made good connections and had the opportunity to reach out to more people and advance in my career.
As a beginner, it is most complex and demanding, especially when you need an audience. It gets better with consistency and gaining adequate knowledge in the music business. As a performer, one needs to have a sufficient understanding of the business aspect of music to excel.
The Reception of Society to My Genre of Music
Yes, I do. For some people, classical music is only for the elites. For others, classical music should be played when they feel sad or lonely.
The first time I heard the flower duet from Léo Delibes’ opera Lakmé over the radio; I enjoyed the sound because it was beautiful. I was young and could not comprehend how a human being could make such a glorious sound. Did I try to make the same sound I heard over the radio? Yes, I did for numerous years because I listened to that similar sound in the church, at school, on the television, in movies, in commercials, and everywhere.
Most of the time, some people do not realize how much they love and appreciate classical music because they listen to it every day.
Some people have not committed to intentionally attending concerts or buying tickets to watch an opera. It does not mean they do not appreciate it; we need more avenues and opportunities to increase the awareness of appreciation. Classical music, which most people think is for the elite, is for everyone willing to listen.
Other Projects and Activities
Aside from singing, I love acting and fashion. I am working on collaborating with some Nigerian movie producers to produce and direct musicals in Nigeria. Also, I am working on some solo works by African composers and preparing for my Christmas solo recital at the University of Notre Dame.
In August of 2022, I launched my fashion brand OMARICHA COLLECTIONS, an African-inspired brand that portrays the beauty of African fabrics. Through Omaricha collections, I have reached out to people of various races and colors who love African prints.
I wish to empower young ladies in Nigeria who are exceptionally talented and want to showcase their designs to the world by collaborating with them to make beautiful designs that would be added to my collections.
What I Enjoy Most About My Job
Singing makes me feel alive and free. Through singing, I reach out to people and connect with them more profoundly. I am glad I can communicate with people and make them smile through my singing, which is a blessing. And I count myself blessed to be doing what I love, knowing how to do it, and getting paid for it.
Three Women Who Inspire Blessing Agu And Why
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a woman I love and admire because of her role in promoting and supporting the girl child, her inspiring and educational works, which have inspired me to pursue my dreams relentlessly and become the woman that I am today.
Rev. Sr Perpetual Ike: I call her my second mother, mentor, and spiritual director. She gave me music lessons and has, since my childhood, encouraged and supported me throughout my career. Her inspiring stories gave me courage in my down times and motivated me to keep growing, discovering, and evolving.
Ezinne KufreEkanem: From our first meeting in 2019, during the Hymnodia competition, mom Ezinne has taught me patience and perseverance. I have watched how she encourages women to reach for the skies and her continuous support and words of encouragement to young entrepreneurs. Every time I speak to her, a sense of freedom and I am inspired to do more.
How Blessing Agu Used My Passion For Music To Create Room For Other Women In My Industry
At 13, I started teaching dance to young ladies my age and those younger than myself by serving as the altar girls’ president at St. Columba’s Catholic Church. With the help of Rev Sr. Perpetual, we formed a group called the Liturgical dancers, and we traveled to various parishes and schools to teach young girl’s Liturgical dance.
I have featured young and aspiring sopranos on my platforms and collaborated with female classical singers on my “Vocal clinic” show. Nigeria is blessed with many gifted singers. I hope they reach their singing goals and become the professional musicians they admire.
That is why I reach out to as many singers as possible through various vocal workshops within and outside Nigeria to educate them on voice management and stage performance. Now that I live in the United States, I give musical workshops to various choir groups via WhatsApp, Telegram, and Zoom.
During the Covid19 pandemic in 2020, I taught over five hundred students’ voice lessons. Eighty percent of the students were women. Some became my students and are now performing in various states and on different social media platforms. I am assisting some women in Nigeria with applications for schools abroad to further their studies as professional singers.
I look forward to collaborating with lovers of music to award scholarships to upcoming singers to gain the adequate knowledge required to excel in their careers.
One Thing I Wish To Change In The Music Industry
Equal appreciation of all genders in musical performances and practice. Music is for everyone. Collaborating with musicians of various genres would create deeper appreciation and to a significant extent, foster unity.
What We Should Do Better As A Society To Support Female Artists
We, as a society, need to encourage women in the music industry to pursue their careers relentlessly without fear of rejection and name-tagging. It would be great to invite female musicians to events and pay them as much as the male musicians are paid. Featuring and sponsoring up-and-coming female musicians would encourage more talented singers to follow their path. Not taking advantage of them before inviting them for gigs or paying them would make the world a better place.
Being a Woman of Rubies
I am not common, and my type is rare. I am priceless and precious. I am a blessing to all who come in contact with me. I love life, find fulfillment in helping people achieve their dreams, pursue my dreams relentlessly, and wish the best for others.
To A Young Person Who Is Trying To Figure Out Their Musical Talent
Never stop learning and growing. If you have the resources, get a music coach, or apply to a music school. A music teacher or voice coach would benefit you and make you stand out. The journey will be challenging, but, in the end, you will be grateful you never relented. I wish you the best and hope you never stop dreaming big.
Solape Akinpelu is the Chief Executive Officer and Co-founder at HerVest, a fintech pioneering inclusive finance for African women through goal-oriented savings, impact investing and credit for smallholder women farmers and women-owned and led SMEs.
With a thriving community of over 25,000 members, HerVest is on a mission to improve women’s lives through greater access to and use of financial services.
The Tech Guru
Solape also doubles as the Chapter Director for Women in Tech® Nigeria, an international organization with a double mission: to close the gender gap and to help women embrace technology.
The Author
Her first book: Stripped: An African Woman’s Guide to Building Generational Wealth is widely celebrated for its actionable strategies that support African women in building and managing generational wealth.
The book serves to answer the burning questions and allay the commonest fears that most African women have when it comes to managing their money and building wealth. It also establishes the need for a mindset reorientation with practical guides and steps to guide African women in trans-generational wealth-building.
Solape is a Certified Financial Education Instructor and a member of the Personal Finance Speakers Association (USA). She is also a member of the Chartered Institute of Marketing and has demonstrated excellence in financial marketing in her former role as Marketing head, Meristem, a top investment and wealth management conglomerate in Nigeria.
A global and sought-after speaker, she continues to lead gender finance conversations online, offline, in print and across leading media publications.
Thank you for using your voice and platform to create room for other Women, Solape. We celebrate you.
So many of our elderly population are forgotten about or disregarded in the society, but they need love, attention and support to help them enjoy the bliss of old age. Oluwadamilola Grillo is helping to solve that challenge through her Hold The Age Initiative.
With a B.Sc. in Sociology, and having worked in varying capacities with different organisations, Oluwadamilola, a Gerontologist, founded Hold The Age, a remote advocacy center for older adults in Nigeria. Her passion for the older population saw her pursuing a Masters degree in Gerontology and Ageing Studies at Swansea University in Wales, United Kingdom, under the distinguished Chevening scholarship of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.
Oluwadamilola established Hold The Age, a remote advocacy and awareness initiative, reaching out to older adults, documenting their experiences after retirement and their health status. She keeps herself up-to-date on aging trends, taking courses from the American Society of Aging, MOOC, and University of Tasmania, Australia, to name a few. Of particular interest to her are the effects of dementia and the overall mental health of older adults.
Hold The Age has social media handles through which people are educated on old age-related matters as well as a blog, www.holdtheage.com, committed to the same purpose. She runs a WhatsApp support group for older adults and young people interested in learning about this stage of life, where discussions about the ageing process are held and an opportunity to chat with various healthcare and social care workers concerning the well-being of older adults is provided.
She is currently the Lagos State Coordinator of The Coalition of Societies for the Rights of Older Persons in Nigeria (COSROPIN), an alumna of the Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI), West Africa Emerging Leaders Program and a member of the British Society of Gerontology. She shares her inspiring story and some valuable tips on the need to pay attention to older adults in this interview.
Childhood Influence
Growing up, I was fortunate to have had my maternal grandmother live with us. Perhaps, this influenced me subconsciously and started me on my present path. I grew up in Ibadan with quite a big nuclear family, my mum worked in various ministries within the Oyo State Government, and my dad worked as a Cardiothoracic Surgeon/Professor of Medicine. Education is a serious business in my family and my parents ensured we lacked nothing in this area.
We had a balanced social life as we were all exposed to everything that could make us better humans and independent young adults. In all, I had quite an adventurous childhood with my siblings. I left Ibadan to study Sociology at the University of Lagos and took electives in Sociology of Medicine, Gerontology and Sociology of health and illness, these were modules other students had no interest in, there were just a few students taking these electives.
My passion for older adults finally blossomed in my final year as my thesis was on the perception of workers towards retirement and it occurred to me that most people’s later years will be fraught with challenges if there are no preparations made and there are lots of gaps to be filled.
I began to do my personal research on the study of older adults /ageing, assist older adults in my own little capacity and went on to study Gerontology and Ageing Studies at Swansea University. And today, here I am with a social enterprise to help older adults.
The number one inspiration is the lack of awareness of the challenges of older adults. These challenges present themselves in varying degrees. One is the plight of older adults is accessing social welfare and other basic needs in Nigeria. Healthcare challenges, absence of older adults’ rights in the Nigerian constitution, etc.
I was also inspired by the various changes occurring within Nigerian society, the mass exodus of our youths in pursuit of greener pastures and the dwindling of intergenerational relationship bond that holds families together within the African traditional system, which has made most older adults vulnerable to abuse.
I looked at all these gaps and said to myself, the challenges of older adults are a ticking time bomb that can explode anytime if necessary measures are not put in place, and with an intervention center such as Hold the Age, these challenges can be reduced. The organization is open to collaborators, investors and sponsorship on some of our projects.
Being the Lagos Coordinator of The Coalition of Societies for the Rights of Older Persons in Nigeria
Cosropin is an organization that has been pushing the passing of the bill for the Rights of Older Persons in Nigeria as well as ensuring that every organization across Nigeria that is assisting older adults be under a big umbrella where their voice can be heard.
As the Lagos Coordinator, my main role is to register every other body that is working to provide ease of life for older adults and ensure they get the necessary support from the headquarters of COSROPIN in Abuja.
My Commitment to the Welfare of Older Women Serving as Porters in Markets in Ibadan
As the programme Officer for the Center for Growth and Development, I was saddled with a lot of responsibilities and the initiative for the welfare of older women was one of my major responsibilities. I committed myself to this great intervention programme wholeheartedly in order to get the desired result of relieving older women from the strenuous jobs they do by carrying heavy loads in the market.
The centre provided the financial resources to get them alternative work that is not strenuous. The women were provided with kiosks to sell household groceries at their various houses. The initial groceries were bought by the center. This intervention programme improved the quality of life for these women, improved access to health checks, they were taught financial freedom through savings and they were able to sustain their trade by saving the profits made which was injected back into their trade.
This couldn’t have been done without the Management of the Center for Growth and Development especially my boss/mentor, Prof Kassey Garba and her husband.
Certifications and personal growth
I see myself as a work in progress, always striving for personal growth to be a better version of myself a day, week, month or year after. Chevening Scholarship is one of the most prestigious scholarships in the world, as it provides you the opportunity to network among alumni across over 160 countries.
My Dementia certification is to expand my knowledge and assist me in proffering need-based solutions to my clients and their families on how best to combat the non-communicable disease that researchers are still investigating the root cause and cure for it.
These certifications, in addition to those not mentioned, have broadened my network base, have given me access to a few social capitals through referrals and have also changed my perspectives on the dynamism of individuals as we do not share the same values, culture and traditions. This has helped my personal growth especially to view every individual as a unique entity.
Hold the Age has quite a number of projects, among them is a TV media program which we are still looking for sponsorship for. We are currently working on a database of volunteers across states in Nigeria to help combat loneliness among older adults, this is quite daunting due to the current security challenges we have in Nigeria at the moment.
We also have various fun social activities for older adults tailored to their needs and status. We also assist older adults to plan their retirement as this is one phase of life that is totally unpredictable.
We train family members and domestic staff on how to care for their older loved ones. We also create content and promote other organisations whose mission is to provide ease of life for older adults, among our other projects.
Challenges of Being a Social Entrepreneur
Accessing finance for some of the projects is a major problem, as investors are looking into what appeals more to young adults, especially in the entertainment industry.
Collaboration is another challenge, in-as-much as we have a set mission, we’ve met some prospective collaborators that want us to change 70 percent of our perspective to suit their own needs which is detrimental to the service Hold the Age renders.
Another challenge is people’s mindset of accessing services for free. Hold the Age has a charity arm and we try as much as possible to assist in our capacity. However, people should understand that a social enterprise is run by financial resources and I’m grateful to my family and friends that have been very supportive of us. Our services are affordable and individual based.
Nuggets on How Children and Society at Large Can Cater for Old People
Everyone has a role to play in caring for older adults. We all need to assist older adults whenever we see them incapacitated in any area; assist them in crossing our busy roads, respect them and see to it that their fundamental human rights are not infringed upon.
Children that are living abroad should ensure they do not neglect their older parents living in Nigeria, I know we are all busy with our lives but frequent communication with our parents goes a long way in helping our parents to feel vibrant and well. Sending money and outsourcing care is not enough, I’ve visited older adults that are presumed to be physically ill only to find out that lack of communication with their children is the cause of their illnesses.
Also, society should stop guilt-tripping children into outsourcing their parent’s care to professional experts. This has more negative impacts on society than we can imagine.
A lot of people are hiding their parents from family and friends, especially those living with dementia due to stigmatization. Confidentiality is very important at Hold the Age, we seek the consent of our clients before publishing content that society can benefit from on our website and social media handles.
The government and society can help by creating more visibility on the plights on older adults as well as proffer solutions to stop stigmatization faced by older adults and their children as regards the mode of care convenient for their loved ones.
Being a Woman of Rubies
From my research about your platform, Women of Rubies is known to celebrate African women who are contributing to nation-building. I believe I’m contributing my little quota by providing ease of lives for older adults within my society. I have seen other women that have been celebrated on your platform and I’m encouraged to do more and be an inspiration for other women, too.
I appreciate your platform for creating such an initiative, as it is important to help nurture other women to optimize their full potential.
Sensitizing society on the misconception that old people are ‘witches’ and ‘wizards’
This misconception stems from a lack of awareness of a lot of challenges that old people face in later years. An example is older adults that are living with dementia, which is oftentimes tagged as witchcraft in some parts of Nigeria.
This is majorly due to a lack of education/awareness on what dementia is all about. We need to have campaigns and awareness programme to sensitize society as we have for cancer awareness and others to enlighten the populace on the various challenges faced by older adults and put appropriate measures in place to tackle elder abuse.
How to Handle Elders and Seniors in the Society
People with little or no knowledge regarding the care of older adults should not hesitate to ask questions from experts such as health workers, social workers, Geriatricians, gerontologists and experts in old age-related matters. We should always remember we would all grow old one day and think carefully about how we want to be treated in our twilight years.
Elder abuse is one area we rarely discuss in this clime and quite a number of our parents are going through one form of abuse or the other, especially from domestic staff. Parents are scared to tell their children about it, too, due to the extent of power some of these domestic staff wield over them.
Family members are not exempted from these nefarious acts, too, there are subtle abuses most older adults are currently facing. Some are done unconsciously and we need to keep enlightening the populace on the plights of older adults in our society.
What Government Can Do Better
The government should build standard and affordable old people’s homes with inbuilt recreation centers for older adults. Create training for people that show interest in caring for older adults and ensure that people that are dedicating their services to the care of older adults are given adequate remunerations. The private care homes should be inspected periodically, not only by the Ministry of Social Welfare but also by the Ministry of Health.
A famous writer once said creativity is your best makeup skill, don’t be afraid to experiment with it. Makeup artists are experts at using make-up compounds to tint, conceal, or otherwise alter a person’s look for the purpose of beautification.
Makeup artists use their talents and their tools to makeover, transform, and improve a person’s face (and sometimes their body). Their work corrects imperfections, highlights positive attributes, and remedies issues.
According to Makeupartist edu, The best makeup artists command lofty fees and possess loyal clients, whether they are transforming performers to create an accurate visual representation, or perfecting brides for one of the most important days of their lives.
This is what Canada-based make-up artist Magret Isedowo represents in her sector. A woman who knows her craft and gives it her best.
In this chat with the Women of Rubies team, she shares her Inspiring story, her love for make-up and her spa.
Meet Me
My name is Olufunto Magret Isedowo, born and raised in Nigeria, I’m a Professional Make-up Artist based in Ontario, Canada and while I enjoyed working in all sectors of the Beauty Industry, my passion is Make-up and Facials which led me to start BreezyPro & BreezyLuxeSpa.
The Journey So Far
I explored the Beauty Industry in 2012 which made me enrol in an Aesthetic Program at Everest Beauty College, Ontario Canada. I have a Diploma in Phlebotomy from CJ College, worked in a few laboratories and later enrolled in an Advanced Medical Aesthetics Program at IBI College, Ontario Canada.
Why I Pitched My Tent In The Make-Up Sector
My love for Make-up and Beauty has been with me my whole life, specializing in a wide range of luxurious and personalized beauty services including Make-up, Facials, Micro blading, Lash Extensions, Waxing, Brow Lamination and Lash Lift. Each application I do is assessed according to multiple factors including personality, comfort level with makeup and personal image.
I tailor my work accordingly, the result is a satisfied client that feels as beautiful and unique on the outside as they do on the inside.
I love learning new things, being inspired, and connecting with creative people. I take pride in creating beautiful work and hope I can be fortunate enough to do what I Iove for the rest of my life.
Connect With Margaret
Studio Address: 4000 Steeles Avenue West, Woodbridge L4L4V9
I never imagined I’d be a single mom one day. I grew up believing one day I would marry, stay married and have kids. Nothing prepared me for this lone parenthood journey. Absolutely Nothng!
Now….that’s not a complain. I have been on this journey for 7 years and I’m getting better at my solo parenting life, taking each day as it comes and intentionally staying happy for myself and my amazing children. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but It’s a job you do with relish and pleasure, and with the understanding that “You are doing your best.”
While I won’t like to go into the context of my lived experience, and why I became a single mom, I don’t wish whatever led me to this journey on my worst enemy. We live in a world where people only ask the “why” questions when they meet a single mother instead of understanding the “how”, they are ready to judge and throw you under the bus even without having the full picture.
If you had to choose between being a single mom or being married to a man who is destroying your soul, you would choose being a single mom every time. I’ve been through some experiences in my life but nothing quite prepared me for my separation. It hit me hard, it hit me deeply.
With two children who are just 1 year and 7 months apart, I had to teach my mind to be stronger than my emotions. I had to learn how to filter my connections and disengage from folks who were bent on misunderstanding my plight.
The Emotional Struggle Of Being A Single Mom
I quickly got used to being a single mom. It wasn’t too difficult. I had been living in an environment where I constantly had to fight to protect myself and my children. The hardest part I think was the emotional torment I was going through which everyone suffers during a messy separation.
When you are a single mom, you don’t always get the luxuries others get.
You can’t ask your partner to watch the kids while you go to the gym or walk around the block.
I am not too much of a social butterfly but I know the importance of socializing, and having support. When I started coming out of my shell to share my story and build a support system, things changed.
Starting From Rock Bottom As A Single Mom
Moving out of my home country was one of the most difficult, yet necessary decisions I had to make. I had less family support and the responsibility of solo parenting became even greater. I remember how I couldn’t sleep that first night as a lone parent.
Adapting to single parenting was a little tricky and I sometimes felt like some people don’t understand how difficult it is. Single parents hardly ever get a break, unless they have a strong support network or family willing to step in but all too often that is not the case.
Financially raising my children on my own is difficult. As a single mother the income was much less than that of a couple with kids and I often felt the pinch on the purse strings. The money goes as fast as it comes, that’s even If it comes at all.
My plan to dive right back into work was stalled because I wanted to be a present parent. I was so attached to my girls that I almost made a decision to be a stay-at-home mom, but how do we survive If I don’t get up and play my part. The sacrifices I had to make even while working has stalled my career growth.
Sadly, the world would view you as weak or incapable, when In actual fact you are slowing down so your children can fly in the future.
Don’t Judge Single Mothers
The thing is I do think there is a stigma even in today’s society when you are a single parent. Rather than sit and judge it would be better for people to help and support. It’s better to ask questions than assume a woman just woke up and decided to be a single parent.
You never really know how or why they ended up a single parent, so please the next time you see a single parent, let your sense of empathy over-ride your judgement and assumption. There are women who have gone through situations they are still healing from. Don’t judge or nail them to the cross.
Some parents split up, others lose partners to cancer and horrible diseases, others were just unfortunate to meet the wrong partner, and while they can walk away from that person, they won’t do that to children they brought into the world.
I guess the point I am trying to make is we should worry less about why someone is a single parent and think more about what we can do to help and support because single parenting is not easy.
The Loneliness
One thing I really didn’t expect was the intense isolation that comes with being a single mom. When you’re married, you’re often so used to your partner’s constant presence that you can crave having the house to yourself—an evening alone seems like bliss from a distance.
The Mental Stress
This is the part of the journey no one warned me about, but it’s the reality of every single parent. There is one parent to go around now and my kids definitely feel it. You feel it too. You are constantly on a think and plan mode, what they wear to school, what they eat, making the best decisions for them, putting them first. It’s alot for one person, and it affects your emotional wellbeing sometimes….
Anyway, I’d rather learn how to de-stress and handle what I can than go back to what broke me.
Vetting Of Potential Partners
With all this independence and empowerment, I’ve become very unwilling to give up or even share my new life with anyone. I’m being cautious. I’m wary of needing someone too much, of leaning on them instead of myself.
Perhaps this is the effect of living with an abusive partner who stressed me mentally and emotionally, and now I don’t want to give up the healed version of me to someone who probably has his emotional baggage too.
I set my dating boundaries from the get-go, It probably makes me come off as a little on the edge. You know what they say about life being a teacher? You learn the hard way, but don’t become hard, be smart. Unfortunately, the reverse is the case for abusive partners, they move on easily.
When a car hits a person, the accident victim might spend the rest of their life nursing the Injury. The owner of the car probably won’t feel the impact of the accident. He would still live his life and drive round, while the victim nurse the pain. That’s what I tell folks who judge and are quick to say, things like, “Oh, but the person you claim is abusive has moved on”…
In conclusion, before you judge another single mom, remember you didn’t live through their pain, If you don’t have kind words to say to a lone parent, please, don’t say anything at all.
Life is hard for many already, don’t make it harder. We are trying to make lemonades from the lemons life threw at us.
Are you a single mom? Would you like to join a group of for single mothers for financial support and empowerment ? Join Single Moms Ville
Dedication
I dedicate this article to all the single moms out there, and to Late Dr. Olabisi Igbalajobi , who was a member of our community, and one of the first women I I spotlighted as a Columnist in Guardian Newspaper. May her gentle soul rest in peace.
Late Dr. Olabisi Igbalajobi
About the Writer
Esther ijewere Is a multi-award winning Social Activist, Journalist, Writer, Best-selling Author, Host of the Youtube syndicated show; #GettalkingwithEsther and a certified PR expert with over 10 years of experience. Esther has spotlighted over 1000 women across the globe, Interviewed First ladies, A-list celebrities and giants of different industries. She is the Editor-In-Chief of Women of Rubies, and other development initiatives recognized globally. Follow her on Linkedin, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
When a woman is determined to win in life, nothing can stop her. Nnenna Uboma is a woman who understands the power of consistency and the importance of living intentionally.
She is the Chief Strategic Officer (CSO) of Beyond Math, an initiative she started during the COVID lockdown, alongside her teenage children, Jasmine and Jami. Beyond Math helps kids to develop and retain in-depth analytical, complex problem-solving skills required to succeed. The Canadian based initiative provides a strong STEM based capability to excel in mathematical and quantitative discipline.
Nnenna Uboma is also an Analytics Senior leader and has over 20 years of experience leading high performing analytical teams to develop industry edge solutions in one of the leading financial institutions in Canada. Her passion for tutoring and coaching analytical professionals over the past decade made her a sought-after speaker at different conferences across the globe. She has mentored many successful professionals in Analytics.
The amazon whose teenage daughter is the CEO of Beyond Math spends her spare time nurturing High School kids in Leadership and Entrepreneurship skills. Nnenna was recently recognized as one of the 100 Accomplished Black Canadian Women. She shares her inspiring story with Esther Ijewere.
Childhood Influence
My father was a successful lawyer, Barrister AT Udechukwu. He wanted me to be a lawyer basically because he thought I could put my perspectives rightly on the table. He marvelled at my ability to ideate quickly. I did not pursue the law profession as I wanted a career in STEM.
However, my childhood which included visiting many legal courtrooms enhanced my logical thinking which I find very beneficial as a data analytics professional. I call myself a data solicitor which basically means I present my perspectives in a business court room instead of a legal courtroom. In my perspective, I am living the childhood dream of my father as a (data) solicitor.
Inspiration behind Beyond Math
During COVID, we were locked down at home and I wanted something worthwhile that will keep us all motivated at home. Beyond Math was birthed by my daughter Jasmine Uboma who is a second-year student. Beyond math kept myself and my two teenage children, Jasmine and Jami connected during COVID. Three of us authored Beyond Math workbooks. I led the project and managed through the cycle to ensure it was birthed. Math was something we had in common.
I work in one of the leading financial institutions in Canada as a Director. It has been a journey in the analytics field. A career I pivoted into when I arrived in Canada. I remember analyzing the job listing on Indeed at the time and noticed SAS being mentioned in many of the analyst roles. Building a career in analytics involves knowing how to code in tools like SQL and use visualization tools like PowerBI.
Challenges
The technology field is always evolving, and new applications are introduced into the market continuously. I built a niche for myself in Business IT as a Business Data Analyst which simply identifies me as an end user and removes the burden of learning the configuration of every new tool in the market. It is a very stable career path.
Why I made My Daughter The CEO of Beyond Math, And How I Discovered Her Talent
Yes, Jasmine Uboma is the CEO of Beyond Math. I am only playing the role of a mother and nurturing what you see or do not see is one great role of mothers. I see the best in people and with the methodology of “make believe”, we achieve a lot.
Jasmine is a very shy lady and introvert by personality, but I think I have succeeded in making her a talk of town. She recently got appointed as the Executive Director of External Affairs for Women in STEM, Western Ontario. She is one to watch out for.
My Thoughts On Kidpreneurs
From the production of Beyondmath, kids need a role model and a mentor to look up to as they take on very challenging tasks, such as being a kidpreneur. One thing I did at the time Beyond math was being authored was to roll my sleeves and carry the blocks as well.
Jasmine and Jami authored the 256 pages of Beyondmath while I did the editing and publishing as well as marketing. We raised over $5000 from Kickstarter pre-launch. They could see my real involvement and not just dishing out tasks. This kept the motivation going. With kids, playing at their level makes a great difference.
How I am Using My Organization To Create Room For Women In The Community
I participate in many immigrant platforms in Canada and have volunteered as a guest speaker or panelist in many of the community functions. I have also mentored many young women like Jasmine who are playing in their respective careers today. It’s been very fulfilling seeing my mentees grow. I also support immigrants who want to play in any data field with coaching and mentoring.
One Thing I Wish To Change In The Education Sector In Canada
I think that the classroom does not represent today’s digital environment. Students have still been taught with curriculum developed many decades ago. I think that subjects like quantitative reasoning should be introduced early to kids which is one of the reasons I love Beyondmath workbooks.
3 Women Who Inspire Me and Why
One woman that inspires me is Michelle Obama. I took a picture mimicking her pose. It is all about ‘Becoming’. It is either you own your story and write it or others write it for you. One fact is we are all becoming. It is not a matter of where you come from but where you are going. We are all becoming!
As a child I was very playful but quite intelligent. It took someone to get me focused and forced me to have dreams. My mom put in a lot to get me where I am. The dining table, study time, her tears when I don’t get the first position and many more. She remains my inspiration. At 80years, she proofread and edited my books. She is an English graduate. Mrs Uzoamaka Udechukwu is a lady. I admire her strength and passion to see those she loves to succeed.
I admire Jasmine a lot. She is my daughter but a very respectful and responsible young girl. There is a saying that one can only be a shepherd when you have a sheep. I am so excited to see how she has grown especially as we worked on the establishment of Beyondmath. I am happy to have the privilege to build with her what my mom built with me.
Other Projects and activities
I am authoring another “Lessons to my younger self” which is currently with the publisher. The book is designed to colorfully attract young adults. It will also be published as a journal which will allow readers to write their experiences as we go through my lessons. Currently I am doing my Phd. and hoping to celebrate my graduation soon. I am also a leader in church and in everything that I do, spreading the word of Jesus is at my core.
My Work-Life Balance Routine , How Manage It All As A Mom, Wife and Business Woman
This is a question I get very often. How do you do it? It is mainly about delegation. Appreciating, trusting, and accepting what others do for you knowing you can’t do everything by yourself. It must not be perfect, it’s all in perspective. Give opportunities for coaching and growth. I am also good with prioritization. I focus on things that are critical and spread the projects out. Giving myself sufficient time has helped me mentally not to be in a race with anything.
Being A Woman Of Rubies
I see myself as a role model for my younger self. I have had my own rough journey of which one that comes to heart, was being told in my early career that I could not climb the professional ladder because of my Igbo accent. It was hurtful but at the same time great motivation to be my better self. My story is an inspiration to many like me as they try to navigate corporate Canada.
You can connect with Nnenna Uboma on Instagram- @triplejcounsulting or call: +12896278486
At the peak of her happiness, Late Dr. Olabisi Igbalajobi, a lecturer at Joseph Ayo Babalola University lost the treasure that gave her joy. The gifted educationist lost her dear husband barely after three years of marriage and also lost her job. This devastated her and made her almost give up on life. She shared her survivor story in this interview with Esther Ijewere on the 13th of August 2016.
Sadly, Dr. Olabisi Igbalajobi died a few days ago (8th, October 2022) after a brief illness. She was an integral part of our Women of Rubies facebook community and our Single Moms Ville Group.
In her words; “Yes there were times I was at cross roads and felt like giving up but could not bring myself to doing it. I love my kids so much and they are my driving hence the strong will and determination to keep pushing, striving and smiling.”
Late Dr. Olabisi Igbalajobi
Growing Up
My mum told me as a child that I love to write that many times I would scribble on the floor and ask her to read out what I had written. I also loved to gather my friends together and teach them sometimes it could be in form of a church service (childish plays). I loved group discussions and most times I used to be the initiator and the lead discussant. My dad also wanted me to be in the academics and propelled me towards it. Unfortunately, he died before I bagged my Ph.D. degree. My mum usually tells me in those days that she saw me as a teacher. So I would say all these contributed to what I am doing now.
My Foray Into Teaching
I am Olabisi Igbalajobi, born and bred in Lagos on October 2nd in the late sixties. I am a proud indigene of Efon Alaaye Ekiti state. My secondary school was at Federal Government Girls’ College Owinni Hills Oyo, Oyo State. Memories of Oyo days still flood my memories. I thank God that I was able to graduate from owinni. After secondary school, JAMB was not so friendly as I could not meet the cut off mark for my preferred course of study and in my daddy’s voice. “I cannot beg anyone for your admission, go, prepare and do it next year”.
I got an admission to study Forestry in the then University of Agriculture, Abeokuta, Ogun State but before resumption when most people asked me what course I was admitted for majority would say “Ha! Asogbo (Forest guard) I was devastated and wondered what they meant by such, as God would have it not quite long I got another admission letter to study Farm Management and Agricultural Extension at the Federal University of Technology, Akure. In my first year I told my dad I did not like the name and would prefer to seek admission at Ife to study Agricultural Economics. As God would have it not quite long, the nomenclature was changed.
I benefited from the scholars stipend from management as I was a University Scholar from my second year. Incessant strikes kept us in school more than necessary, I eventually graduated as the best graduating student in my class. No wonder I was advised to come back to the academics by the then Head of Department late Professor P.B. Imoudu, my daddy wanted it but my husband whom I had married some few months before the final examination could not withstand a long distant marriage.
Coping With losing My Husband And Job Loss
October 5 1996 was the beautiful day I married my sweetheart, John Omotoso Ojo, a God-fearing, devoted, husband and father. However, after marriage, I could not get a job all through, despite appearing at several interviews. I remember being told at an interview that people like me would always go back to the academics, yet I wasn’t employed. I had my son in October 1997 yet I had no job .
My husband was very supportive and ensured we lacked nothing as far as his purse could take us. In January 1999, I got pregnant with my daughter still there was no job.
By 9th July 1999, with an almost 2 years old boy, a six-month-old pregnancy and still jobless, sweet John bade the world farewell. Till now, I still cannot understand the circumstances of his death but one thing it did was to devastate me. I almost went into depression thank God I was pregnant God used that to help me out, because I was eager to see the face of the baby conceived in love.
It was not an easy journey when John died but I thank God for my family who stood by me. On October 5th 1999, my supposed 3rd year wedding anniversary, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter (her daddy’s look alike). I began thereafter to do petty business travelled to Abeokuta, Cotonou, Togo etc. anywhere I could get things to buy and sell.
I remember very early on my very first trip to Cotonou, my mum came to my house to pick my daughter and took me to the woman who was taking me down. It was a very emotional morning; tears filled my eyes this was 6 months after my daughter’s birth.
I did not get back to my parent’s home till 11: 00pm despite leaving Nigeria at dawn. My baby was still sucking, my breast were swollen and painful, I got to my parent’s house to see my dad (God bless his soul) carrying my daughter singing and dancing to pacify the wailing child.
That night we agreed that I would not embark on such journeys again. Easier said than done, I have lost count of how many trips I took thereafter.
Taking Up Another Job
Later, I took up a teaching appointment organized by the PTA of a secondary school not too far from my house. The salary was small (N3500), but it was better than me sulking at home and wallowing in self-pity as I had kids to look after. In 200l, I dusted my certificate, rejected self -pity and depression and went back to school to pursue my master’s degree.
While at this help came through one of the WAEC marking team heads who informed me of an impending interview in the Ekiti State Ministry of Education.
I was favoured and I taught at the government Science College Iyin -Ekiti from 2002-2006. While there, I took the opportunity of enrolling at University of Ado Ekiti (now Ekiti State Univeristy) for a Post Graduate Diploma course in Education (PGDE).
I resolved to train myself and the children along the way, while I went back to study, my daughter was with my parents while my son was with my brother-in-law any opportunity to be together I quickly grabbed, their long holidays were spent with me. Meanwhile I was still selling clothes and materials by the side to meet whatever I was earning to sustain the family.
Enrolling For Ph.D.
After my masters class, I enrolled for my Ph.D. at FUTA and it was the year 2006 that Joseph Ayo Babalola University started. I bless God for the role He allowed the deputy chairman of council and his wife to play in my life. I got employed brought back my kids and since then I’ve been enjoying the grace of God in JABU and have also completed my Ph.D. degree in Agricultural Economics.
Giving up?
Yes there were times I was at cross roads and felt like giving up but could not bring myself to doing it. I love my kids so much and they are my driving hence the strong will and determination to keep pushing, striving and smiling. No one would ever believe I was going through all these because for long, I talk about my late husband, John in the present tense. When women talk about their marital experiences, I contribute to the conversation as if my marriage was still on. I said to myself, “After God, the only one who could ever make me happy is me”. The statement has been working for me because I use it to spurge myself on.
Late Dr. Olabisi Igbalajobi
Challenges of being a lecturer
The major challenge I face in my line of work is the unruly attitude of students to their studies. I love serious-minded and focused students and most of the students who had undergone tutelage under me will attest to that fact. I am a principled and highly disciplined teacher when it comes to my work; I love to impart. It is a passion borne out of my love for education. I try as much as possible to encourage and counsel such students. It gives me great pleasure to see them respond truly to such counsel.
“Stop wailing in self-pity”
My advice to every woman out there who might be facing similar challenge is this ‘Stop wailing in self-pity’. Stop blaming others for whatever has happened. One of my favourite mantra is this: When something is done and you cannot undo it, move ahead”.
Some years back I made a striking statement on a radio show. I said: ‘Your determination to succeed rests on you. Your kids need you; do not abandon them. Be resolute, be determined, be prayerful, find something doing and keep keeping on. Surely there is going to be light at the end of the dark tunnel.
Being a woman of rubies
What makes me a woman of rubies is that I have gone through great challenges as a widow and I did not engage in self-pity. With God, I rose above such challenges and tried as much as possible to survive despite all odds. I am still pushing on, I am not yet there but I am better than what I used to be. I thank God I don’t look like what I have been through. I pray my story challenges, inspire and bless you.
We celebrate the life and times of Sis Olabisi Igbalajobi.
A famous writer once said; “To be successful in real estate, you must always and consistently put your clients’ best interests first. When you do, your personal needs will be realized beyond your greatest expectations.” These words best describe multi-award-winning Canadian real estate agent Deborah Ojo, CEO of DeborahHomes.
Deborah Ojo started out as a class teacher before she established DeborahHomes, a company she built on the core values of honesty and integrity spiced with an uncompromising stand on professionalism. The amazing entrepreneur who is also known for strategic and focused approach is a real estate agent with RE/MAX, the largest Real Estate company in Canada.
With over 10 years experience In the Real Estate sector, she has taught over 63 seminars and counting to minority communities on how to Own their own piece of real estate free of charge as a way to give back to those communities, and helping women who have passion for the business find their path and earn a living.
Deborah Ojo has built a solid foundation of clients in her community through her professionalism, attention to details, and commitment to always put her client’s needs first. The Human Resources Management graduate and amazon shares her inspiring journey with Esther Ijewere In this Interview.
Childhood Influence
My success was due to no small degree to the lessons of my childhood. Despite not having much, my parents worked hard to manage the finances of the home. My mum was a primary school teacher and sells fabrics to her colleagues. Our family finances were more stressed when my dad lost his job after 20 years service in the bank, we had lost our major source of income. I watched my parents stretch out every penny to make our finances work.
You know what this experience taught me? My dad sat me down, he said “Oluwatosin, the best advice I can offer you now in order to thrive in your future endeavours is to think DEPLOYMENT instead of EMPLOYMENT” , Having seen how deplorable a worker is in the hand of their employers, not minding the sacrifices and how committed they are to their employer. This simple advice was stored up in my mind since as a little child I was then and has guided me to shape who I am today.
Fast forward, I decided I wasn’t going to dedicate my life to an employer who can let you go when you need them most. The foundations of my financial literacy, management of funds and business are all attributed to childhood, it taught me to keep going no matter the defeat into the stepping stone of opportunities.
Why I Pitched My Tent In The Real Estate Sector
My inspiration was drawn out of my WHY? My WHY’S range from having financial freedom, ability to travel the world without an employer giving a time limit, building a legacy for my children, helping the underserved communities and marginalized sectors. Spending quality time with my family, especially my husband. When I had the desire to own a multi chain of real estate, I had no way or resources to act on it.
As an immigrant in Canada, I see firsthand how hard it is for my parents to secure accommodation. I saw how people of minorities are underserved in securing rental units and owing their real estate portfolio. The systemic biases ran so deep that I took it upon myself to change the narratives and I decided to start educating people in my community on how they can become homeowners and not just helping their landlord to keep building wealth.
In my then 2-bedroom apartment, with a family of seven, my dream was born. I decided I was going to own a multi apartment building where I will give minority communities opportunities to rent / own safe and affordable apartments in Canada.
How Deborahomes became one of the most sought-after Real Estate agencies In Canada
As a child I was ambitious, I wanted to know how wealthy people became so successful, I threw myself into research and I discovered the answer was Real Estate, but I had nothing to start with. I quickly discovered Real Estate is a male dominated industry and my goal is to inspire other younger women to see that a woman can be a household name and make it to the top. I dared to be different, to me you owe the world that much to be the best or nothing else. Many women just like myself have so much to contribute to this universe but somehow are subjected to believe it’s hard to achieve. I decided on strategic meetings, which had enlightened countless numbers of women in our society, and helped them bring out the genius in them. Most of them are highly successful in Real Estate Ventures.
Challenges
Some of our greatest opportunities could be dressed in defeat. I had nothing going into this career than a desire to be great and affect lives. There was no mentor that looked like me and many of my colleagues will bully me in the years to come, I mean, I was young, a woman of color with no sales background who dared to not be a regular 9-5.
When I started, because of my sharp change in career, alot people had thought there wasn’t alot of minority women making it big time in Real Estate, but I blocked all the naysayers, I wasn’t afraid to change my circle of friends, you know what they say that if you want to know your true friends, start a business.
\Well, it happened, my friends couldn’t trust me with their business but I quickly made new friends that are my best clients till today. You know what else I did, I studied and learned all that was available to know in Real estate that my colleagues started to respect my expert knowledge. That really helped me to climb really fast in my career.
I actually told myself that if I put my all into this and it didn’t work for 6 months, I will go back to my old job, But God so good, I closed a couple deals within the first couple of months, that validated me. I knew it would work and I have never looked back since. I can never underestimate my husband’s sacrifices in building the brand Deborahomes. Many people that know him, know that there’s no Deborahomes without him.
It’s a moving train and this Current Real Estate market is not an exception. A Lot of people try to time the market, invest when its low and cash out when its high but the market is a fast-moving train with many delicate intricacies, you can not possibly time it but you will do well to build your team of professionals like Real Estate Agents, Mortgage brokers etc to advise you of the right strategy depending on the market circle. Deborahomes provides consultation to its clients on how to strategically grow their portfolio to maximise returns,and by the way, it’s a great time right now to buy Canadian Real Estate, due to interest rate hike, The market is down about 20% in the Greater Toronto area so if you buy now, you will have position yourself for huge profit in the future
Deborah Ojo
What It Takes To Own A Home In Canada
1.Good Credit – a good credit is 680 points and above, if you plan on buying a house, work on building and checking in on your credit score. Think about it this way, your credit rating is the only thing on paper that a lender can consider to evaluate whether you are trustworthy enough to lend to.
2. Income – A lender will use your income to calculate your affordability. The more you earn, the more loans you can potentially qualify for.
3. Down payment – As a residence you can put as low as 5 percent down of the purchase price if you qualify. As a non residence, in most cases you will need 20-35% down to buy a home
How I am using Platform create room for women in the community
I use my platform to teach new immigrants and underserved communities about the importance of Real estate ownership. Held free training / Webinars , I have taught over ten thousand people the power of real estate. I also help women understand the power of their voice and how to use it . In dealing with families I have discovered many women had no clue to their family finances or the courage to think they too can be a decision maker and their opinion matters. I would ask women what they wanted in a home and they would simply say whatever my husband wanted. I wasn’t raised like that and since I married me and my husband believed in tabling all our opinions to help us make the best decisions. Two is better than one and if women simply keep quiet then they are cheating their homes, their generation to contribute the ideas. I use my platform to encourage women to speakup, in family decisions and even in their career. I have also mentored other female agents to become successful in their real estate careers
One Thing I wish to Change In the real estate sector
Oh I would totally go paperless, there will be no longer paper contracts to save the planet. I’m all for reduce, reuse, recycle. I would reduce the red tape around the new development approval process. This will help speed up new home construction and make more housing affordable especially for minority communities who have been severely underserved.
3 women who inspire me and why
These people have different levels of success in different expertise, business, and lived in different parts of the world but what is common among them is they all had dreams, followed by lessons learned and then success. It proves that success leaves clues, I believe to be success, follow who knows the road, we don’t always have to reinvent the wheel, sometimes, copy the model.
My mum is my greatest inspiration, as a child, she didn’t have shoes to wear, she hawked, slept on the streets but yet did not make excuses for herself, her success is not by chance or luck, she had a burning desire for success and she converted all the opportunities she had into success. She has a remarkable mindset to never give up. She recognises no defeats.
Oprah is another person that inspires me, as a visible minority, she was born into poverty and now one of the richest African – American of the 20th century and the greatest philanthropist in U.S History. Oprah overcame many obstacles in one of the worst era in the United States where blacks were discriminated against but she overcame those obstacles through prayer and hard work . Oprah’s wealth and fame is certainly no accident, as she believes that luck is simply “preparation meeting opportunity”.
Sheryl Sandberg , an immigrant who moved with her parents to the United states in search of greener pasture and with focus, rose to the position of COO at Facebook, becoming the company’s second-highest ranking official. This woman has exceptional leadership skills. During her time at Google, she grew the ad and sales team from four people to 4,000.
Other projects and activities
We were real estate investors before I became an agent, when I say we, I mean me and my husband. Personally, we focus on flipping houses, long term buy and hold, Private lending and Land development. There are lots on the horizon that I do not have authority to announce yet but let’s just say we plan to buy multiple doors before the year runs out.
My work-life balance routine as a mom, wife, business owner and mentor
I have an amazing support system, my amazing partner who lets me fly as high as I want. I couldn’t have been here without him. When I’m home I’m a mother and a wife, when I’m at the office, I am not burdened with my home because I know he is home, and I have learned to give up on lots of things that don’t add value to me or my goals. I learned quickly to spend QUALITY time with family. I have also mastered the act of delegating roles to trusted team members, I don’t do everything because I’m not good at everything. I focus on my core competencies alone and I consistently revalue our business to find ways to improve efficiencies.
Being a Woman of Rubies
I have met many people that have told me how inspired they are by me. Sometimes when we are doing something you do not know who is watching but people are mostly inspired by how I juggle my big family and my business. I say it is knowing who are in Christ, I am Deborah to my generation and my husband, and I am conscious about our callings to our generation. Real Estate is my platform to preach the gospel. The gospel of come and see how I became a millionaire and you can be a millionaire too. We are called to abundance! I believe my talents are not for me alone so I pray hard and work like I don’t pray. Clear communication has been the key to having a successful marriage and a successful career.
Born Joy Eseoghene Odiete J’odie Is a soulful vocalist with an exceptional ability to communicate her deepest emotions and perceptions using very simple, yet symbolic words. Her style borders on soft, mid- tempo, colored with string instruments that give her sound an overall sweet and soulful appeal.
Joy Odiete J’odie was born into a Christain home – her father being a pastor,naturally skewed her towards church music. J’odie came into the limelight after her participation in the maiden edition of the West African Idols competition and came top 10 alongside Nigerian musicians such as Timi Dakolo and Omawumi in 2007. She released her first debut single Kuchi Kuchi (Oh baby) in 2007, which grew to be a hit song, as both young and old, within and beyond the African continent came to know the song as an anthem in both family and romantic gatherings.
Jodie
J’odie toured countries such as The Gambia, serenading African Women in Leadership Organisation (AWLO) Conference, South Africa where she also shot one of her music videos “Sugar Coconut” Sierra Leone and Liberia among others. She took a break from music to cater to her special needs child, and has since become an advocate for parents with similar lived experience.
Joy Odiete J’odie went viral recently when she shared her story online and asked Nigerians to support her . The songstress shares her inspiring story with Esther Ijewere in this exclusive interview.
Childhood Influence
If you mean what I do in the musical part of my life, I’d say a big “Yes!” I sang almost everyday, because I grew up a pastor’s kid, and we all (nuclear and some extended) have the musical talent in my family. In the area of advocacy, which was born out of my becoming a mother to a special-needs kid, I would say “No!”
My passion for music
It felt like the natural course of nature for me, though I never knew I could choose to make it an actual profession, because of my religious background. However, after many years of being stuck in the triangular routine of home-church-school, I got tired and wanted something else out of life.
After my first degree in Unilag, I stumbled upon an advert on television – the West African Idols! I didn’t know there was a show as such – I wasn’t even familiar with the American Idols show prior to that advert, but it was catchy and also gave me the idea of an “escape”. I was afraid at first, as I thought my dad wouldn’t let me go for the auditions, but he, surprisingly, did.
Singing on that “bright” stage made me realise, for the first time, “I want to do this!” “I want to sing for the rest of my life!” “I want this to be my profession!” The experience also gave me the audacity to start; because, I met many faces – I only used to see on TV, in real life. It made me believe my new dream was possible. Sometimes, you already have what it takes, but it could be a huge boost to meet or interact with people you perceive to be “high-up-there” to give you the courage to try.
Lots and lots of reasons. But before I give any reason, every artist isn’t going to have a long professional life span. It’s really okay to go on a hiatus or retire early and change profession – if it’s best for you. Artistes are humans too and go through challenges like everyone else. In fact, the challenges could be aggravated due to public attention. Art requires time and patience among other factors.
That being said, being the mother to a special-needs kid required more of my time and so I gave it. It’s like I’ve been to a different “school” for six years and I am still learning; hence, I see life differently, compared to life prior to this phase. I dare say this special “6-year program” has made my life more meaningful and I would not change it if I were asked to relive my life again. Tough, Yes! But the depth is nourishing to the soul.
Seeking for support publicly
An accumulation of pain, anger and frustration!!! Being the parent of a special-needs kid in Nigeria is not easy – especially if you are not very wealthy in finances. In fact, I’ll be blatant: being the parent of a special-needs kid in this country is super tough. The problem is not the child. The problem is the lack of societal support. When you have a special-needs kid, especially the severe cases, you need support – no matter how tough you think you are, else you break down.
I have some support – family, but I found it difficult for six years – in spite of my support system. It’s expensive and emotionally draining.
A lot of fathers run away (few mothers do), leaving only one person to handle a task that is already overwhelming for two people. There is stigmatization – some people would call the mothers “witches” and avoid any contact with a child with special needs. It may not seem a big deal, as I say it, but it is emotionally crushing when you are being accused of something you do not even understand.
Jodie and her son
The general healthcare system is poor for an average citizen: you can imagine what it feels like for families that need “special” attention – especially considering that hospitals are like a second home. The roads make it difficult for mobility – even if you could afford wheelchairs, how do you navigate? Many schools do not embrace inclusion, while the ones that do are very expensive. Feeding the child is also very expensive and a tedious physical exercise: some of them can’t even eat through their mouths.
Diapers usage, for some, are for a lifetime – yet, diaper companies celebrate only “normal-looking” babies – even though special families are their enduring customers. I took time to mention this point, just so you see that every person or organization in this country can play a positive role in order to change the narrative concerning kids with special needs. The list is long, but I’ll stop here.
I had the audacity to speak out not just because of me and my son, but because I thought about people who don’t even have any support system. It is too much pain to bear – your ability to earn is threatened or crushed, yet your bills are higher than an average citizen’s.
Inspiration behind my song “Kuchi Kuchi”
I wanted to write about love in a different light. At the time, I wasn’t romantically in any relationship with anyone, hence writing a love song, which my producer suggested, felt like a lie to me. I needed to feel and imagine it before expressing it. I, however, was able to imagine myself as a mother and what I’d think of my baby, hence the song. The term “Kuchi Kuchi” represents baby language. It’s conventionally spelt “Coochy Coo”.
Other projects and activities
I run an online shop for hair care products that are great for African hair via www.kuchikuchi.shop or @kuchihair on IG. I am very creative with my hands, hence I craft accessories on @spiceandcharm on IG.
Presently, I’m gathering knowledge on how to help other special mothers like me – I believe, for the first time, I have found my purpose. I did what I could do on a humble scale by doing giveaways for special mothers and organizing an online competition, titled #SpecialKuchi on my Facebook, Tiktok and IG platforms @JodieGreat. In this competition, special mothers dance with their special-needs kids using the new version of my debut song, titled “Kuchi Kuchi (Special Version)” – now available on online stores and platforms. The winner’s prize was N50,000, while other participants in the top 20 list got consolation cash prizes as well. This was to encourage women to openly celebrate their special-needs kids – many are ashamed, because of the stigma. I also galvanized singers to sing a theme song, titled “Special Mothers” (yet to be released) to create awareness and to celebrate families on this journey. These were made possible by donations that Nigerians, both at home and in the diaspora, made – and I’m grateful.
I’m working towards more sustainable ways to help. I think when you find yourself in certain challenges, it can open your heart to have a strong yearning to pull others out of the difficulties you have faced.
My coping mechanism as a special-needs mom
I am blessed with a supportive family, a capable nanny and a gifted doctor; hence, I’m able to focus on providing for my son’s needs. It’s still not a walk in the park, but my consolation is that his priority needs are being met.
How the industry has supported me since I called out for help
The idea behind my outburst wasn’t for people to help only “me” – it was to direct attention to the challenges of special mothers. It turned out that people started offering to help – I initially rejected it, but it became a turn off. When I eventually accepted help, I was glad I listened, because it gave me the strength to sing again; to take some rest, because my health was fragile for a long time, due to stress and trauma. It also gave me HOPE: I am truly grateful.
Having said that, this would be excellent support from the entertainment industry: to promote my songs henceforth and to give me choice platforms to showcase my talent, ensuring I am well paid. This is a form of empowerment, because I do not see myself as just the mother of Chinua, I represent countless parents who have kids like my son. My financial empowerment would positively affect the lives of many families, because I understand the pain.
How my participation in West African Idols impacted my life
I mentioned earlier that being on the West African Idols platform made me realize I could make a profession out of my musical talent. I’d like to coin it this way, “Being on the West African Idols platform helped me articulate a dream”. The “articulation” was indeed for personal clarity; because, before then, I had not defined a pathway for myself.
J’odie
What I wish to change in the Music industry
Talent should be appreciated. There’s this popular statement, “Talent is not enough”. It’s factual! However, the industry has taken it too far, creating an imbalance. Over the years, it appears talent has been relegated: it’s mostly more about connections and network. Life’s not fair, but more value should be placed on talent too, so that we would have much more qualitative art masterpieces in the public domain.
To Special-needs mom with no support system
Don’t give up! Years back, the topic of “special-needs” was more silent, but now we are talking about it. While talk is not the solution, it just tells us there’s a gradual mindset shift. It’s super slow, but it’s taking place. Just keep doing what you can do for now – therapy sessions, seek help from people around and be in touch with NGOs that have your challenges on their agenda… look for other special mothers like you- this is for emotional reasons.
Also, instead of focusing on magical “cures”, focus on managerial care for the affected child, this is because many people are out there, who would take advantage of your vulnerability and desperation; and extort you of money that you don’t even “have”. Accept that some of these health challenges may be for life, but with consistent managerial care (therapy, nutrition, etc), the child’s condition would likely improve, no matter how slow. But you already know this, so the challenge is to stay positive as you go on this long journey. You’ve come all this way… don’t stop now!
The society and its reception of special-needs parents
Societies can get used to concepts through media influence – the concept of embracing special-needs kids and even adults can be artistically and gradually infused in our films, musical videos, etc. More people now embrace albinism (compared to how it used to be), because of the power of the media. I have never seen someone with vitiligo, for example, but because I’ve been seeing cases online, it feels like I’ve known people with the skin condition for a long time.
That can be replicated in this case. And I enjoin every person of influence to take a chunk off this task – we mostly don’t plan to be special parents, but one’s offspring may become a special parent and this “help” (societal acceptance, support, world-class institutions of free care facilities) I keep talking about would be life-saving to them.
Also, schools need to be more inclusive – this would help youngsters grow up feeling natural around people living with special needs, and likely be more helpful adults – not just stare or stigmatize affected individuals.
Being a Woman of Rubies
I represent the mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters and aunties and uncles… of the special-needs children of Nigeria. My dream is to ensure that every state in Nigeria has free world-class facilities (day or boarding), where special-needs kids can be cared for, so that special mothers can have a fighting chance in life.
Follow Joy Odiete J’odie on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter to know more about her work with special needs kids.
