Editor's Choice Archives

In Editor's Choice July 6, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“AS A WOMAN YOU HAVE TO BE DOGGED IF YOU WANT TO GO INTO ACTIVISM” – ONUGHA ROSEMARY

Onugha Rosemary is a passionate educator and serial humanitarian, she alongside her wonderful team educate and support vulnerable children living in slums across Lagos. The graduate of Applied Microbiology from Ebonyi State University advocates for quality education, reduced poverty by education and empowerment of women in the society.

Rose who is also a food vendor, has been involved in teaching and raising role models as well as carrying out humanitarian activities with marginalised children by donating school materials to aid easy learning as well as coaching them on the needs of education not withstanding their immediate communities.

In her words: “I intend working with urban and rural slum kids by making sure that each one of them have the privileged of attending basic education and as well acquiring the needed skills to survive as an individual”.

The serial Humanitarian shares he inspiring story with me in this interview.

Growing up

My childhood and environment prepared me for what I’m doing now. Growing up in a community where we had hoodlums and sex workers as neighbours made we know who and what I don’t want to be like.

I had several occasions where I was sent out of school because of fee. These are few things children in slums and undocumented areas go through, when asked why you are at home, my parent could probably say I’m not feeling too good.

My environment made me very ambitious because I really wish I could change a lot of things, it made me who I am, it made me have a picture of who I want to be. It made me aspire for greatness.

It was quite unfortunate that I didn’t grow up having role models, I only grew up having people I didn’t want to be like and seeing situation I’d never want to be in.

My passion for the vulnerable and less privileged in the society

I discovered that most times when interventions, outreaches, sensitizations, quizzes, debates are being carried out the children living in the slums are being exempted. They miss out on a lot of opportunities and empowerment programs because of their environment, as a matter of fact, people and even government hardly remember that they exist. I’m trying to be their voice, to give them hope and as well motivate them to be their best versions of themselves irrespective of their present environment.

Every child matter notwithstanding their environment and their background.

Working directly with slum kids

I believe all children should have an equal right and access to education.

During my research I discovered that about 40 to 50 percent of children living in slums do not have basic education. And this can further be a disaster to the society in the future. I thought within myself how do I stop this trend and reduce the level of illiteracy in Nigeria? This also formed the basis of my outreach. As we know, education reduces poverty and it has been noted that the level of poverty in the slum is in high rate. To tackle poverty, disease, ill vices in the society and to create jobs and be employable, educating the slum kids is the best shot.

Reception

Most times I go to these communities, I’m been looked down on, like what has this small girl got to offer us. But at the end of the visits both the children, school owners and their parents are always grateful and they have a different mind set of what education is about.

My Inspiration

Like I said earlier, my environment inspired me. My parents as well especially my late father. He was able to raise us in a godly manner with the help of my mother. Until this moment, I can’t explain how my parents did it that we never took after the environment or joined the bad gangs. Till this moment is bewildering. Honourable Buumba Malambo from Zambia also inspires me she built a home for vulnerable children, orphan in her community as well as educating them.

Also, the founder of La Roche Leadership foundation Mrs Osoba, she is a humanitarian with a golden heart, she is also a member of the Global Goodwill Ambassador. she has a library in her foundation that enables children to read to fun and examination. She also donates educational books to different government schools. She supports humanitarian workers to create more impact in the society.

Dr DiPillar Richard who is the founder of Global Goodwill Ambassadors worldwide, he unites humanitarian workers around the world with the goal of making our world a better place. We also have the opportunity to network with other humanitarian workers outside the country and as well learn from them to create a greater impact in the society.

Reward

The greatest reward is the reward of fulfilment. Been able to create an impact in the lives of these kids. Also, when I joined the Global Goodwill Ambassadors network worldwide. When I got featured in a newspaper as well. Those are the rewards for now.

Challenge

One of the challenge is getting funding for projects which is the most challenging. Another is my gender, people tend to think that as a woman you have less to offer, especially going to the slums where they believe that women are not supposed to be educated but they can either fish, farm or trade and also help out at home. It’s challenging having to change their mind set and showing them women role models in all fields. That’s why we need more women to engage in both science and politics, because the society has made them believe that some profession are meant for a particular gender.

On giving up

Yes, sometimes when I have ideas written down and want to implement them but not been able to because of some situations like funds. For instance, I visited a community in Alimosho Local Government Area of Lagos State and discovered that there is no secondary school in Abaranje and Okerube communities. These two communities only has primary education, we can imagine what happens to the children after the primary education. Most of them that their parents can’t afford a private school are either seen roaming about, hawking, some have even joined hoodlums and some others not too good gangs.

As individuals and government trying to reduce the crime rate, illiteracy and poverty in the society, education should be the number tool to help curb the menace. I have a temporal solution to educate children in that community pending when the state government will erect a proper school and classroom for the community.

Being a food vendor and serial Entrepreneur

My food vendor business is new and I’m still looking out for more clients, so combining it with my humanitarian work is not really stressful. Because we do mostly in bowls, for meetings and office packs. I have people that can help out in both my humanitarian work and my food business, so I can take an order to deliver meals today and as well go for my outreach the same day. It’s just a matter of planning and having volunteers to assist.

Being a Woman of Rubies

Been able to impact lives, giving hope to children living in slums and undocumented areas and been able to empower women. A woman of rubies is a woman that is a role model in her society.

For women in the development sector

You have to be dogged if you want to go into activism as a woman, people will sometimes look down on you and make you feel you are making a mistake doing what you are doing. Sometimes you might even get a threat on your life, you will go to some places that you would be turned down but don’t give up because a lot of people are looking up to you and would also like to trade on the path. Giving up means you have succeeded in making people looking up to you to loss focus.

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel and you’d be surprised to know many lives you’ve been able to impact with your works.

Activist being appreciated

Activist are not appreciated enough, that’s why we need to create more awareness to show the impacts of our activism and how our activism has made changes in day to day life.

One thing I wish I could change in the education sector

I would like to change the conventional ways of teaching and as well change the mind set of our tutors. Some of our schools still teaches with the same methods our are parents were taught. Education has evolved from been a normal classroom teaching to incorporating our day to day activities into mathematics and all subjects. Children should be able to mix fun with learning. Games, and life skills should be incorporated into teaching. If children are guided to express themselves and not been imposed, educational system would have a dynamic and drastic turnaround in Nigeria. Education should not only be maths and English, children should be given the space to be innovative and creative.

In Editor's Choice June 29, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“THERE ARE MANY TIMES I FELT LIKE THROWING IN THE TOWEL AND PICKING UP A PAID JOB” – OLAMIDE AYENI-BABAJIDE

One of the biggest environmental challenge in the world is waste management. Often times as humans we only focus on the consumption of the products without thinking of the diverse effect of releasing the waste to the environment. So many people have been trying to change the narrative and sensitize the society on the the need to manage our waste products the same way we screen what we consume.

While effective disposal is one of the major mechanisms to waste management, recycling and remodelling the waste is a better way to preserve it for re-usage. Olamide Ayeni-Babajide has taken this up through her Pearl recycling initiative. In 2016, she started a social enterprise that remodels solid waste into sustainable, eco-friendly products for the last-mile citizens. Her organization trains women and unemployed youths on waste to furniture vocational skills. She also solves the problem of inadequate chairs in public schools by producing ergonomic classrooms chairs from waste for the pupils, a project sponsored by the US Embassy Abuja.

In 2017, she was selected as one of the Tech women Emerging Leader by the United States Department of States which makes her interned with In 2018, she was named as an Obama African Leader for her impact work and also named as the most outstanding social innovator by LEAP AFRICA.

Olamide who holds a Bachelor of Technology degree in Computer Engineering and several certifications from CISCO and ISACA and With more than eight years’ experience as a Network Infrastructure . She shares her inspiring story with me in this educative interview.

In her words : “ The environment is not enabling for most start-up founders due to rigid government policies stifling life’s out of young start-ups. ”

Childhood Preparation

I grew up in the rural part of south-western Nigeria. I was taught early that when things are broken, they are fixed and not thrown away. I think the learning came from the fact that we didn’t live a life of luxury neither did we live in penury but the little we had, we were taught to use it well. Also, coming from paternal generation of wood carvers was also part of what contributed largely to my creative nature. At an early age, I started repairing my spoilt shoes and slippers myself, I had all the shoe repairer tools, I could weave and sew, and I had my hands on practically every skills.

Inspiration behind Pearl Recycling

Pearl Recycling started on the flight back to Nigeria from UAE in 2012. I had gone for a conference on Infrastructure engineering and bought few home decorative products. I checked one of them and realized it was made from waste corn-husk. You can imagine my anger and unbelief when I made this discovery. First, I had issues with customs bringing those decorative products into the country and coupled with the fact that they were expensive. As days goes by, my anger turned to curiosity. I told myself we have corns in Nigeria, but we are throwing the husk away. Why can’t I start collecting the corn husk from the roadside corn sellers and start turning them into beautiful work of arts? That was how Pearl recycling started. We progressed from corn husks to plastic, wine corks and tyres. We currently work with all form of solid waste, turning them into artistic pieces either as furniture or décor.

Pearl Recycling, was selected by World Youth Forum as one of the 100 initiatives from Africa and she was selected to represent Nigeria at World Entrepreneurship Investment Forum in 2017 due to the impact that Pearl Recycling is making locally. We have also been featured on several international and local media including, Reuters, Washington Post, and Aljazeera

Impact of being an Obama African leader and Leap Africa’s outstanding social innovator

In 2018, Obama Foundation made a call for outstanding leaders in Africa who are changing narratives in their field. We know we are constantly breaking the glass-ceiling with the waste remodeling niche we are building so I applied. I was selected as one of the 200 Obama African Leaders. This gave me the opportunity to meet with other change-makers in the continent, connect with investors and create a ripple effect of change. One of the highlight was pitching the waste to tiles project as an alternative to bad roads in Africa rural locations. The project was selected and scaled to top four out of seventy other projects and we pitched it at the pitching event. A fellow leader from Angola took the idea back to his country and started working on the project.

LEAP Africa SIP is a progamme for social innovators in Nigeria where selected social entrepreneurs are trained on important subjects like structuring social enterprises and building a sustainable social enterprise. I was selected in 2017 and after the one year programme, three outstanding social innovators are selected and awarded grants of 1 million Naira each to scale up their impacts through the support of Union Bank. I was selected and the grant has helped us to scale up our distribution outlets and acquire more tools.

Reception

When we started officially in 2016, there were a lot of cultural inhibitions, negative stereotypes and complete rejection of the idea. The first hurdle we had to break was the age-long belief that “waste is dirty and meant for landfills”. We came up with a strategy to make waste enticing to feel and touch and that was how we were able to break the negative stereotypes. In 2016, we could go a whole week at the office without anyone calling to ask about what we do. However, there has been significant change in perception and acceptance. We get up to six calls weekly from individuals and organizations asking about what we do and the service we render.

From computer engineer to eco-friendly products and waste

After the curiosity of my UAE trip, I started working with solid waste products on weekends. I was in an 8-5 job and the only time I had left to work on my passion was weekends. I started showing colleagues what I made from waste and they were interested and willing to buy. That was how I started making wall decors and art pieces from waste for colleagues and friends. In 2015, I applied for Tony Elumelu foundation grant with the idea. It wasn’t a registered business. It was just an idea and it was selected. That selection birthed Pearl Recycling. It was a defining factor for me, knowing that an organization like TEF founds such a niche worthy propelled me to make it a full time job.

Challenges

The most significant challenge of all is the perception of people to waste. This time around, not from a place of negative assumption, but from a place of complete ignorance. People aren’t aware of the treasure in waste and they end up throwing them away. The second issue is government intervention for emerging businesses like ours. The environment is not enabling for most start-up founders due to rigid government policies stifling life’s out of young start-ups.

Also, we lack proper funding institutes or organizations locally that can fund social innovations. Most funding organizations are international and this has impeded the growth of local social enterprise.

On giving up

There are many times I felt like throwing in the towel and picking up a paid job. Most especially, when I am fully aware of my skill and worth in the labour market. However, tenacity of purpose and understanding my Why has been the reason why I can stay and fight to see my vision become a reality. In an environment like ours, everything is working to choke your vision and you must be ready to fight to survive.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I became aware of my worth at the young age of ten and the inherent power I have as a women to create positive impact around me. I am a woman of rubies because I create the change I want to see without waiting for anyone to do it for me and by so doing, I am also helping other women to see and acknowledge the inherent power in them

Advice for those who want to go into my line of business

You must be sure of your WHY. You passion must be able to sustain you when every other thing fails. You must listen and open your mind to learn. You need to build bridges and know that collaboration is the new competition. However, you must be smart in all your dealings.

In Editor's Choice June 22, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MY ENTRY INTO A MALE DOMINATED LAUNDRY BUSINESS MET WITH COLD RECEPTION– ABIMBOLA ODEDINA

A wonderful poet once said ; You will face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated.” I bet she had Odedina Abimbola in mind.

Bimbo was singlehandedly raised by her hardworking mother who sells foodstuff and charcoal at Ipodo market, Ikeja. She lost her Father at a tender age in 2009, for her growing up was a very challenging experience, she , her mom and younger sister Adepeju had to take refuge in a room and parlour apartment in the ancestral home of her maternal grandfather in Ipodo, Ikeja where she hustled through life to make a living; selling charcoal and taking up different jobs to save towards her education and also support her family. Her story went viral a month ago when she posted her laundry Business on Twitter, a tweet that has now been shared over ten thousand times and reposted on other social media platforms, Giving Bimbo leverage for her business, showing the ripple effect of determination and doggedness and also reminding us of the power of social media. The young budding entrepreneur shares her Inspiring story with me in this interview.

Growing Up

Despite my humble background, I was determined to do what it takes to change my family’s fortune. Immediately after Secondary school, I started taking up several jobs to assist my mother to fend for the family and saving towards sponsoring myself to the university. In 2012, I gained admission into Adekunle Ajasin University Akungba, Akoko to study Business Administration, while in school I made several trips to Lagos to do promotional ushering jobs during weekends and I took up part time jobs during every semester break working with Wrangler as a sales representative at Ikeja Mall, while still studying hard in school, eventually graduating with. ( CGPA) second class degree.

In 2017 after graduation, while waiting to be posted to serve my Fatherland (NYSC). I took up several jobs part time jobs, saved some money to start dealing in charcoal business having learnt the trade from my mother, I started selling in small and large units to food vendors, restaurants around Ikeja axis. But eventually had to quit the trade due to constant pressure to join Charcoal dealers pressure group.

In November 2017, I was posted to Adamawa state for the mandatory NYSC scheme, spent 3weeks in camp for the orientation exercise and eventually redeployed to Ibadan, Oyo state due to insecurity in the North. As a Corps member in Ibadan I was posted to a secondary school where I was to resume 8am and close by 2pm, I decided to look for another part-time job to raise extra money for my upkeep and increase my savings. Lucked smiled on me and I got a sales activation job with British American Tobacco, Ibadan sales unit. There I was required to work between 5pm to 10pm on Tuesday’s to Thursday, 5pm till 2am during the weekends. Though stressful, the pay was good and I was able to save the BAT salary towards starting a business. Eventually, the 3month contract with BAT ended and I had to make a decision on what business to do. As a member of WINNER’s Chapel I’ve always heard Bishop Oyedepo emphasize on the importance of seeking divine direction, so I prayed to God to show me the business to do and miraculously I got divine direction to start a laundry business in a dream.

Thereafter, I had to seek wise counsel from friends and I was directed to see a young man (Mr. Falade Ayomipo Oluwaseun) who also owned a laundry service here in Ibadan. I was told he also started as a Corps member and he was willing to teach me how to start and manage a laundry and dry cleaning shop at an affordable fee. I was able to learn within 3weeks while my PPA was on break. Few days later with the assistance of my Boss, I used all my savings to buy a washing machine, generator, industrial iron and other materials, equipment and items needed to start a Laundry and Dry Cleaning service.

On 10th May 2018, I started business washing 15shirts, 7 trousers and some under wears. Today I’m a proud owner of a booming Laundry business (CRYTALZ EXCLUSIVE CLEANING SERVICES) that is registered with the CAC, I have 4 employees; 2pressers, a washerwoman and a delivery man. On the long run I intend to engage in large scale laundry and dry cleaning service and also perform Janitorial services.

Inspiration behind Crystalz Laundry

Crystalz Laundry was God inspired. During the service year, I did a contract job with Benson and Hedges Ibadan sales unit. I was required to work between 5pm to 10pm on Tuesday’s to Thursday, 5pm till 2am during the weekends. Though stressful, the pay was good and I was able to save my salary towards starting a business. When the contract job ended. I had to make a decision on what business to do. I prayed to God to show me the business to do and miraculously I got divine direction to start a laundry business in a dream.

What inspired me to advertise my business on Twitter

A friend of mine (Juba Adeola) told me about how Twitter has helped many entrepreneurs (e.g Dolapo shawarma) increase sales at no cost. He suggested we take professional pictures of me at work, summarize my story while tagging Influencer’s and praying to God to help make the post go viral. And it did go viral by God’s grace.

Reception since I started Crystalz Laundry

My entry into a male dominated laundry business met with cold reception from family members, friends and many others. Some people even advised I do something more “Womanly” though my strong resolve and determination made many change their mind. My choice of business still baffles a lot of people till today

My vision

Crytalz Exclusive Cleaning Services is registered with the CAC. On the long run I intend to engage in large scale laundry and dry cleaning service and also perform Janitorial services. So far, I have trained and assisted 2 people to set up their laundry business. I have a vision to periodically organise skills acquisition training and empowerment programs for people with a major focus on women. I may also diversify my business based on the ever changing business environment.

Challenges

Unstable power supply, I spend a large amount of money on petrol monthly. I use a motorcycle rider to do my delivery and we have survived 2 terrible accidents. The unstable cost of buying materials is also an issue. Getting new customers usually require extra effort.

On giving up

I had a rethink after I survived 2 terrible accidents in the course of doing pick up and delivery. The scars are still visible on my body but I eventually overcame my worry and resolved not to give up

Being a Woman of Rubies

My strong determination to succeed. I sponsored myself to the university. As an undergraduate in Adekunle Ajasin University Akungba, I made several trips to Lagos to do promotional ushering jobs during weekends. I took up part time jobs during every semester break/strike working with Wrangler as a sales representative at Ikeja Mall. Before going for NYSC, I did charcoal business but had to quit due to pressure and debt. Despite all odds, I’m self-employed, an employee of labour and my story has inspired many.

Advice for women who want to go into the laundry business

The business world is not the exclusive domain of men, women have what it takes to own, run and manage businesses. What is required is a determination backed by a strong resolve to succeed in your chosen field; despite the odds and the heavy burden society has placed on women.

In Editor's Choice June 15, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“PEOPLE WONDER HOW I WAS ABLE TO BREAK 100 YEARS RECORD IN INDIA” – EMELIFE STELLA CHINELO AMAGBOR

Emelife Stella Chinelo Amagbor 100 years record breaking educational feat went viral few weeks ago and alot of Nigerians wanted to know more about the woman who had made the motherland proud. The story was shared across social media and on some international platforms.

The Anambra State born academia got a scholarship from of the university of Mysore, India and graduated in March 2019 with a FGPA of 9.26, and was awarded 20 gold medals during her convocation, this feat made it the first time in over 100 years where any student will be honoured that way. Little did Stella know her story was going to make rounds in the media

The Intelligent young woman who also has a bachelor degree, (BSc Applied Chemistry) ,was also awarded the best graduating student of Usmanu Danfodiyo University Sokoto in 2013/2014 academic session, graduating with CGPA of 4.86.

Stella is inspired by her hunger for knowledge and a better life for herself, she shares her inspiring story in this interview.

In her words; “My parents were not the richest but they did all they could at all times to give me and my siblings the best quality education”.

Growing up

I grew up in Sokoto state though born in Zaria, Kaduna state. I am the first of the seven children of Sir and Lady Christoper Emelife. My parents were not the richest but they did all they could at all times to give me and my siblings the best quality education available. I attended Federal Government College Sokoto from primary level to secondary level and this was by no means the best school in Sokoto at the time. All through my studies, I was outstanding. I always made the best grades which earned me several awards and scholarship. I went on to do my bachelor’s degree in applied chemistry at Usmanu Dan fodiyo University Sokoto where I also graduated as the best graduating student in 2012/2013 academic session. It was never rosy. I had difficulties and challenges especially with gaining admisssion into university. I wanted to study medicine but did not get that course for reasons I am yet to lay my hands on but all I knew was that I had the results required. I spent three years battling with JAMB UTME and POSTUTME until I eventually changed to chemistry. So I would say, yes, my childhood or my background indeed prepared me for what I do now.

Why Chemistry?

For my bachelor degree in Applied chemistry, I will tell you that I only chose to apply for it at the time because, firstly chemistry was my favourite science subject apart from Mathematics in secondary school, I would say I had a good foundation in chemistry and then secondly, I needed to apply for a course that had less traffic. By less traffic I mean, a course that did not have too many applicants just like medicine which was what I wanted to study. However, in the course of my studies, I fell in love with chemistry and decided to proceed in this field for my postgraduate studies.

100 years record breaking viral story

Yes, my story went viral after the announcement of my awards in India. I got an Indian government scholarship in 2016 to go for a master degree course in chemistry. I accepted the offer and began my master’s degree programme at University of Mysore, the course went on till July/August 2018. I returned back to Nigeria and this year 2019, I was invited to attend my convocation ceremony where I will be officially awarded my MSc Chemistry degree and along with it, I was informed that I will be receiving numerous awards as a result of my outstanding performance in the university. The university is one of the oldest universities in India and highly reputable. I was informed that in the over 100 years history of the university, no one has ever made such grades and most of all a foreigner. I made a percentage of 92.6%. Hence, the best graduating student of the university of Mysore. I went down to India in March 2019, received these numerous awards (25 awards that included 20 gold medals and 5 cash prizes) and almost all media houses in India had the news in all languages including English and eventually, Nigerian bloggers got to know and then some Nigerian news houses.

Reception

Abroad which of course is India, every single person who has come across the news is totally amazed and wonder how I was able to break such record of such university as notable as University of Mysore. More so were those present at the convocation ceremony. Even the dignitaries could not help but express how amazed they are and how proud of me they are and have since been offering to assist me in any way they can through recommendations in case I decide to take up a PhD course in India. I granted countless number of interviews both offline and online. In fact, my name has been everywhere in India especially amongst the academicians and the foreign students association in all parts of India are so proud of me and my achievement. Now, at home, yes the reception has been good amongst people who got to know about it, especially on social media. My husband, my entire family and friends, my church, my alma mater have all been so amazed at such performance. The Chemical Society of Nigeria have been so excited about the news. I have also been granting a number of interviews here and there. I am praying that apart from everyone getting excited and sending in congratulatory messages, that I will attract the attention of the federal government to at least consider me for a well-paying job here in Nigeria.

My Inspiration

I am inspired by my hunger for knowledge and a better life for myself, my family and the society at large and I believe that getting to the peak of my career in life will bring me all the happiness I seek for since at that height, I can inspire others and be make all the impacts I yearn for in the society.

Who inspires me? Firstly my parents inspire me greatly. Their determination to give us the best they can pushes me to be more and also be a great parent like they are to me and then also, I am inspired by every woman that I come across who is doing all she can to break all the conventional laws or rules that hold women back and strife hard to achieve her goals irrespective of her gender or whatever. If you ask for who my role model is, then it is Late Prof. Dora Akunyili of blessed memory. I adore her and hope to do greater than she did by the help of God.

What next?

I need a good job in the academia as a lecturer in the university or as a quality control analyst or research and development personnel in any reputable chemical industry where I can put in all my knowledge to use, develop myself and also earn a good living to take care of myself, my family and those around me that need help. I am also looking forward to getting a very good PhD scholarship to start up my research career as soon as possible.

On the long run, I have plans to work with NGOs in the education sector to be able to make my own mark in education in Nigeria.

Challenges

The greatest challenge I faced while studying in India was the cultural shock I faced. It was my first time leaving Nigeria and for the fact that it was a totally different continent made it so difficult for me at the very beginning. The food, the way of life, the language, the accent and intonations, the religion.

No one understood me when I spoke because they say they do not understand my accent. However, time changed everything. I became very used to everything that I ate virtually every food, began to speak with the Indian accent and I could understand a few of the native language hence I was able to at least communicate with the bus drivers et al. Another challenge I faced was the overwhelming academic activities and being the only foreigner in my class. I stayed in school morning till evening from Monday to Saturday, stood for at least 4 hours in the laboratory and had loads of assignments to submit within short notice and practical records to submit also. It was so intense and scary but eventually, by the Grace of God, I got used to it and made use of all facilities at my disposal, used my time judiciously and became friends with virtually all my classmates.

Giving up

In my first year if I had the financial capacity, I would have ran back to Nigeria because I was getting too overwhelmed with the work load. It was so intense and I thought, I could not just do this. I was afraid I may not survive it. Many times I will cry while in the class receiving lectures, other times in the lab I will be so lost and confused. I could no longer concentrate. However, I cried to my family most especially my husband who is a huge support system, and they all encouraged me with their kind words and prayers and eventually, I got used to everything and even did not want to go back to Nigeria, when it was time to. Hahahaha!!!

My Support System

I am happily married to Mr. John Oshiobode Amagbor who has been of tremendous support to me. We live in Warri, Delta state. Also, I am looking forward to collaborations with NGOs or bodies that propagate education in public schools especially at the basic and secondary level. I will appreciate getting connections to such agencies and organizations, I can do a volunteer work with them even when I get a paying job.

Being a woman of rubies

I believe I am a Woman of Rubies because I am very focused and zealous. I do not let my gender come in my way of achieving the greatest heights. I do not think because I am a woman in the midst of men, so I am a second class ‘citizen’. I always believe I am even better and at advantage because I am a woman. I hold my head high and raise my shadows while defending myself or any right course because I am a human first then a woman. I am fearless when discussing what I know, yet very humble to learn anything new from anyone irrespective of gender or race. I am an inspiration to my own family, my own society and soon the world. I represent womanhood everywhere I go to. Yes, I am that Woman of Rubies.

To women who want to study Chemistry

Any woman can be anything right she wants to be. There is no gain going about wearing the cap “I am a woman’ about like Mo Abudu will say. You are a human first then woman. Therefore, there is no limit to what you can achieve just like everyother man.

Chemistry is not easy, however it is by no means the most interesting physical science course and is highly interdisciplinary. Go for it, as far as you are serious minded.

In Editor's Choice June 8, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

IT’S TOUGH PROMOTING FITNESS TO NIGERIANS – RUBY AGU

For someone who once referred to herself as an “exercise junkie”, Ruby Agu does a whole lot more than exercise. She is one of Nigeria’s fastest-growing fitness professionals. Ruby got into the fitness profession after losing 35kg of excess body weight within her first 12 months of a devoted exercise and healthy nutrition lifestyle. In June 2015, she began helping people to begin their weight loss journey – even before she became a NESTA-certified weight management specialist and fitness nutrition coach, an IREP-certified fitness trainer and a Licensed STRONG by Zumba® Instructor.

When Ruby experienced the journey of weight-loss, she began to appreciate all the challenges facing modern women on the same quest and was pushed to solve as many of these problems as she could… by starting her own gym. The founder of the RA-Fit Club and self-described “serial entrepreneur” has had her fair share of trials, with stories of business success and failure alike. A loving wife, doting mother of three girls and a deeply thankful survivor of a few life threatening health scares. Ruby shares her inspiring journey with me in this interview

Growing up

My childhood didn’t prepare me for what I’m doing now, but you can say that I was somewhat exposed to exercise and fitness at some point during my childhood, because we had neighbors that were actually in professions that made it necessary for them to be at the National Stadium in Surulere every Saturday. It used to be fun listening to them narrate their stadium experiences, and sometimes they would demonstrate some exercises to me. I remember doing my first sit-up crunch. I had just finished my SS3 exams, sitting and waiting for results – while adding weight (LOL). One of my neighbour’s sons (who had just become a referee like his dad) decided to take it upon himself to teach me some exercise moves. So, yes, you could say I had a little taste of it, and it was fun… I found out that I was good at it! But it ended there… or so I thought.

Inspiration behind your fitness club

It’s hard for me to pinpoint any single thing, because I have had a string of life experiences that kept pointing me in this direction. I first got into fitness as a profession after I had successfully shed 30kg of excess body weight within one-year of an intense exercise and healthy nutrition lifestyle. After I had been practicing as a fitness professional for a couple of years, I began to feel an aching need to make real contact with people out there who had expressed a need to be trained and motivated directly by me. It became harder to go beyond a certain level of contact with my people by keeping it purely online. At first all I wanted to do was have somewhat a meeting place where my clients could take part in group training sessions… just something small. But the more I searched for a location, the bigger the idea kept getting. And here we are.

Being a coach, nutrition and weight management specialist, Mom and wife

It’s been a rollercoaster ride, and it got a whole lot crazier after we started the fitness club, but love has kept me moving. The funny thing is that I have been in this crazy routine – as in, we’ve not had any sort of domestic staff in my household – for about 7 years! The fact that I worked from home for the most part of it was clearly an advantage – especially after my husband returned to a rigorous 9-5 routine 6 years ago (leaving home before 6am and sometimes returning after 10pm). There have been different phases in the coping story.

Reception

It’s tough promoting fitness to Nigerians, but I’m thankful for the increase in awareness of wellness, fitness and healthy living in today’s Nigeria. At first the club was very scanty (naturally), but in a year, we had over 200 registered members, and about 2-thirds of them are active and regular.

The neighborhood has welcomed us warmly, judging by the camaraderie we get from our members – who now see themselves as part of one fun-loving fitness family.

Harsh realities of weight loss and fitness.

For starters, you will have to give away all your big clothes (LOL), and don’t go shopping until you know you’ve hit your target weight… or gotten close. And this can be an insane experience, especially if it takes years of bouncing up and down the scale to get there (which it usually does). But seriously:

It takes time so one needs to be patient and requires taking a firm decision, being dedicated and disciplined – with both exercise and the things you eat or drink.

My Inspiration

I know it sounds cliché, but I am inspired by love itself. I generally want things to work out for everybody – and sometimes that is perceived as a weakness – but that’s how I always remember myself to be. I’m also deeply inspired by well-told stories in movies and international TV series – especially sitcoms, medical, legal and investigative drama types (Grey’s Anatomy, Bull, NCIS, Hawaii 5-0, Criminal Minds). It’s amazing how much family, friendship and pure love are written into these stories. I feed off that too.

I have a lot of people who have inspired me for years, and still do from all over the world, and here in Nigeria as well. But the one person who stands out for me in this sense is Maje Ayida. He has steadily grown his fitness brand in Nigeria, and he practically hand-held me into the level of “fitpreneurship” that I am at right now.

Reward

Oh my gooodnesss! I mean, I love a huge pay cheque – trust me, I do – but I’m going to go cliché on you again by saying this: My greatest reward is and has always been the smiles on the faces of my clients, and the testimonials they share with me when they are seeing progress in their fitness and health. I can’t explain how awesome it feels when a client walks into my office (or calls me on the phone) to say “mehhn, Mrs Ruby, I’ve started dashing out clothes o! They’re now too big for me” or “Ah! I went to see my cardiologist today and he has reduced my BP meds!”. Or even the cutest one ever, “Mrs Ruby, my butt is taking shape o!” LOL!

Challenges

I think that social enterprise leans heavily on education, which in our world today can be translated as content. Sometimes it is hard to keep up the pace of bringing this knowledge to your audience, and it has to be verified content, because you are putting your brand behind it. Ever since I started the RA-Fit club, both my blog and my social media content took a hit, because I used to be a lot more active in these spaces, sharing inspiration, tips and advice on exercise, nutrition, and lifestyle in general. I am working hard on getting my groove back, so that I can bring my wider audience into the excitement that we’re experiencing in the RA-Fit family.

Projects and Activities

I had a health scare in 2014. In summary, I had a surgery by which I survived a close shave with something called endometrial hyperplasia. This experience led me to do a lot of research into female reproductive cancers. In October 2015 I held GyFest, a small gathering of women to shed light on truths about gynaecologic cancers, and to encourage women to speak up… and to speak up fast – whenever they notice any changes in their body. Don’t ignore the signs. Speaking up early saved my life. Running the club has opened my eyes to the fact that so many women are going though a lot of health-related issues, and they keep it to themselves. This year I intend to make GyFest not just an event but a movement, because I’ve learned a lot within the past year about the need to inspire more courage in women.

Giving up

It’s hard running a business (and a startup, for that matter), especially in Nigeria’s current economic environment, but because for me RA-Fit is – first – a labour of love, I can break up with the whole idea of it at night, we kiss and make up in the morning, and I just can’t wait to get to work and do what I do. I have always said that this is a calling for me, not just a career. One of the reasons I didn’t set out to start a gym in the early days of being a fitness professional is the capital-intensive nature of it. It takes a lot, and you sometimes need more support than you think… financial, emotional, spiritual and otherwise. I pray now more than I used to, and I thank God every day – even when the challenges seem most unbearable.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I asked myself the same question before this interview… then the easy answer came to me: my name is Ruby perhaps? (LOL). But seriously I sometimes ask myself where I get the courage to embark on some things. I guess it’s in me. I’ve been through a lot in my life, as a child, a student in university, and in my years as a married woman and mother. Somehow, I think my early-life battles with financial and social status put this thing in me that sees to it that I won’t sit back and do nothing… ever. I’ve had friends refer to me as a fighter – maybe that’s what I was created to be.

Advice for women who are finding it hard to lose weight and are yet to embrace fitness goals.

Our tag-line at RA-Fit is “Find Your Fit”. The truth is, sometimes we spend more energy benchmarking ourselves against what other people are able to accomplish in this space. We don’t all look the same. Every woman’s body is framed in one of so many diverse beautiful ways, and if we would just focus on bringing forth the particular beauty that is ours, then the fitness goals we set for ourselves become more realistic and less scary, because – truth be told – this is not meant to be a one-time thing, it’s a life-long journey. So I would say in short: set realistic goals, take baby steps, be patient and enjoy every stage of you because the next stage will be glad you did.

In Editor's Choice March 10, 2022 By Esther Ijewere

“Black Women Need To Stop Waiting To Be Appreciated”– Mariam Momodu

Mariam Momodu Is an international trade lawyer, Ph.D. candidate, education advocate and CEO of Get In Education Consulting. She obtained her degree in law from the University of Ibadan, Nigeria in 2012 and went on to become the first female president of the law faculty students’ association in over 30 years of the association’s existence. In addition, she also graduated with the best result ever recorded from the law faculty in Ibadan in 35 years and won about 10 prizes upon graduation. To date, her academic record has not been beaten. However, the law students association has had another female president since my tenure. In 2015, Mariam obtained a Master of Laws (LL.M.) degree from the University of Cambridge, where she was awarded the prestigious Commonwealth Shared Scholarship and the Cambridge Trust Scholarship. She is now a Doctoral Candidate at the University of Toronto Faculty of Law. Where she specialize in international trade law. Last year, she was awarded the most prestigious scholarship for doctorate candidates in Canada, the Vanier Canada Graduate Scholarship., making her the only black person from the University of Toronto to be awarded that honour and one of the 6 scholars of African descent in the whole of Canada that was given this award.

The scholar whose Inspiring story went viral weeks back shares her journey with me in this mind blowing interview.

Growing Up

I was very fortunate to be raised in a family that valued education. My father died when I was very young, but my mother was determined to provide the best education that she could afford. My siblings were also my mentors as they encouraged me to excel in my chosen endeavours and always provided the necessary resources.

I would read my sister’s novels, read books I found in my brother’s rooms and devour books that my mother would borrow weekly from the British Council Library. I remember when I turned 10 years old, I was asked what gift I wanted… I asked for more novels and books and I got them. Apart from being very academic, I have always been interested in looking for ways to improve my community.

In addition, I have been blessed to have encouraging teachers who took an interest in my education and always went beyond the average to ensure I succeeded. From Mrs. Obajimi of Sonbeam Preparatory School, to my teachers at the International School Ibadan, teachers at the Educational Advancement Centre, Ibadan as well as the lecturers at the faculty of law, University of Ibadan and the Nigerian law school. My teachers always encouraged me to be inquisitive and achieve my dreams, so I credit them for a lot of the success I have achieved today.

Mariam Momodu at the Arab and African Youth Forum

Breaking 30 years record at the University of Ibadan

When I graduated from the University of Ibadan in 2012, I graduated with a 6.7/7 which is the highest CGPA ever recorded from the law faculty in over 30 years. I am eagerly waiting to meet the student who will break the record, as it is long overdue!

In reality when I entered UI, my goal was to graduate with a 7.0, a perfect score from the law faculty. I remember confiding in two senior students about my goals and they laughed at me! They told me it was impossible and if I was going to make a first class from the law faculty, the best I would obtain was a grade close to 6/7. Once I got that negative feedback, I realised I was being like Joseph in the Bible who was sharing his dreams with the wrong people. I decided to keep this dream in my head and continue to work.

I eventually did not finish with a 7.0 largely because I was involved in politics in my 4^th year (and that took a lot of time from my studies) but I am proud to say that in my 3^rd year, my CGPA was 6.96/7 and in my 5^th year, my CGPA was also 6.9/7. So even though I aimed for the moon and did not hit it, at least, I fell among the stars and was able to break the existing record. My academic record in the University of Ibadan opened the door for me to obtain a masters in law from the University of Cambridge on a Commonwealth Shared Scholarship. I would also argue that my grades from university continue to open doors for me today.

I really love that I went to the University of Ibadan. I am the first to admit that the education sector in Nigeria needs a lot of work (and the change needs to start from the government) but I must admit that despite difficulty with funding and so on, University of Ibadan is one of the schools in Nigeria that continues to uphold a very high standard of education. I knew the current vice-chancellor while I was a student and he was one of the people who, in my experience would listen to students’ concerns. I have maintained a relationship with him and my professors in the law school and from time to time I communicate with them to give feedback on my progress or to ask for advice.

I was happy that the school administration shared my story and more importantly, I was very humbled when I read messages from people who were inspired by my story.

Canadian Scholarship & it’s impact as a black woman in a foreign land

I was ecstatic when I received the Vanier last year. We could not announce the award for a while, so I was just sitting on good news! When I applied for the scholarship, I hoped I would win because winning the scholarship will send a signal to other people like me that they too can succeed in academia no matter who or where they were.

The Vanier is a very competitive scholarship that ranks students based on their leadership potential, academic record as well as the potential of their doctorate research. Candidates go through several rounds of application starting from the faculty level to the university level and then national level. I am very thankful that I was nominated by my faculty as this started the process. Apart from my research potential, I really believe my application stood out because of my academic record as well as my leadership experience.

As a student and even after I graduated from University, I always pushed myself to make improvements no matter where I was. In primary and secondary school, I was selected as the head-girl because of my leadership potential and in University I was also elected as the President of the Law Students’ Society, the first woman to be so elected in over 30 years.

For me, leadership has always been about service and trying to make my immediate environment better and it was quite interesting to see that my past leadership experience played a huge role in getting the scholarship.

As a black woman, I am happy to hold the forte for black women, women and anyone from a minority background who has a dream. There are so many challenges along the way for many of us. If I tell the story about the struggles I faced in the first year of my PhD, this article cannot contain it! The Vanier was a big boost for me and I am glad that winning the scholarship has inspired others to reach for more no matter where they come from!

Reaction to my story going viral

This is actually the first time I am thinking of it as a viral story! I would say the reception has been very positive. Many people have asked how they can achieve the same or similar goals and I am inspired to continue to provide support to other people through my company Get In Education Consulting (www.getineduconsulting.com) as well as on a personal basis.

My Inspiration

I think I am inspired by problems. I describe myself as an “extra” person because I am always thinking of the next problem to solve. Any Nigerian that is immune to the problems of the country needs to wake up! My core areas of interest are international trade (particularly intra-African trade and improving connectivity in Africa) ,which is the core of my PhD Thesis , as well as education, which is the core of the business I run at GetIn Education Consulting.So, I am inspired to act when I see problems as my interests are driven by the problems that need to be solved in these areas.

Apart from my family, I am also inspired by people who have overcome adversity and are giving back. Dr. Deola Olubamiji is one of my mentors and people like her inspire me to do more.

Reward

I think the greatest reward is seeing someone say “you inspired me to pursue XYZ”. A lot of people reach out to me online, particularly on Instagram @mariammomodu_ and they tell me how I inspired them to pursue their dreams, study hard or achieve a goal and this is very rewarding.I was also very happy when another woman was elected as the president of the law students’ society in UI, because it showed that the glass ceiling had been broken there.

Challenges of being a female scholar trying to break boundaries both home and abroad

I have faced several challenges and I am still facing several! One of the biggest challenges has been adjusting to a new environment with new expectations. Academia is a constant learning curve for me. So, I need to really know how to conduct myself as an academic and ensure I am ticking the right boxes that will make me competitive after school. Funding is also a big challenge for many people, but thankfully, the Vanier came through!

On Giving up

There have been so many moments! January this year I had to prepare for an examination that would determine whether I progressed to the next level of the PhD. It was very intense and there were many days I questioned if I was doing the right thing, but in the end, I came out successful. Also, during the PhD, you have to apply for grants, submit papers and apply for workshops. I am successful with many applications, but I also face rejection. Initially, I used to be bothered by rejection, but now, I know the path to success is filled with rejection, so I have to persevere no matter how I feel.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am a woman of rubies because I am not defined by what I own or what you can see. I am so much more. I am a woman who keeps striving to make an impact on her environment by touching one life at a time with the hope of making my corner of the world better.

Advice for women who are scared to break boundaries and be more

If the voice in your head is not encouraging you, then don’t listen to it! A lot of times, we are holding ourselves back because we think we are inadequate when we are actually more than enough. Research has shown that black women are more likely to have feelings of inadequacy compared to many other groups of people and these feelings of inadequacy have has been described more technically as imposter phenomenon.

I know fear can be crippling, but you have to find a way to overcome it. What I do is to keep myself accountable by sharing my dreams with those who understand my vision. I have mentors that encourage me and chastise me as needed. I am also learning to live “uncomfortable”. This means that I am constantly reaching for things that I think are difficult to achieve no matter how I feel.

Appreciation of Black Women

I think black women need to stop waiting to be appreciated. Instead we need to just be who we are “boss babes!” You don’t need anyone’s permission to excel. Neither do you need permission to be proud of your achievements. Where you need to, demand your accolades, demand that promotion and so on, but do not wait for external validation before you appreciate yourself.

If I could change one thing in the Education Sector

Education should be fun. Students should be excited to go to school because there is something for them; something that can relate to. If I could change one thing, I would change the kind of syllabus we have in many universities in Nigeria. I would work to decolonise our syllabus and make it contextual to Africa and the 21^st century. Oh, I would also ensure that 30% of Nigeria’s budget for the next 30 years is dedicated to education.

How to reach me

I enourage readers to visit www.getineduconsulting.com and read all the free resources we have available, as well as inspiring stories that can get you started on your journey to using education as a tool to change your life. Also follow @getinedu on Instagram and Twitter as well as @mariammomodu_ on Instagram

In Editor's Choice May 21, 2019 By Women of Rubies

ASISAT OSHOALA BECOMES THE FIRST AFRICAN TO SCORE IN A WOMEN’S CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL

Nigerian football player, Asisat Oshoala who plays for Barcelona FC, has scored a goal in the UEFA Women’s Champions League final on Saturday, becoming the first African ever to score in the final of the competition.

The 24-year-old came on in the 87th minute of the game, when her team was suffering a 4-0 loss to Lyon. She put a smile on the faces of the fans by scoring just two minutes after entering the pitch, delivering the only goal for her team.

Although her efforts weren’t enough to win her side the trophy, that goal made her the first Barcelona player to score in the Women’s Champions League final. Even without that goal, she had already made history as the first Nigerian to play in the final.

In Editor's Choice May 18, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

Favour Osiri Wisdom: Discover Yourself Before You Say Yes To A Marriage Proposal

Favour Osiri Wisdom is an encourager, a certified marriage and relationship mentor with The Institute of Marriage and Family Affairs USA. A certified negotiation and conflict analysis expert with (USIP). United States Institute for Peace. She is the coordinator of the foremost marriage academy in the south south region of Nigeria; The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy in the city of Port Harcourt which equips both married and intending marriage couples to acquire skills to build the marriage of their dreams.

Favour is passionate about women and girls. Having suffered so much under intense poverty growing up as the first child amongst seven children. She founded the Model Woman Foundation in 2016 where she mentors weekly organizing online seminars. She and her Pastor husband are presenters of a weekly relationship show called “For better for us” on Facebook . She recently authored two books tilted How Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T and Before You Marry.

Favour believes her background cannot keep her back on the ground and she is determined to help restore more homes. She shares her story in this inspiring and educative interview.

Childhood
My childhood is full of interesting events that have shaped me into the woman I am today. I didn’t have luxury growing up so being the first child amongst 7 children; my mind was constantly processing on what next to do to make money.

I learnt how to braid hair at age 10 and every Christmas season I made money from braiding hair I wanted to go to school at all cost because at that time I was going to be the first graduate in my compound ( both in my maternal and paternal home) .The poverty around me was just too much, I sold oranges during its season, I was involved in the “bole” business (roasted fish and plantain) which I inherited from my mother.

I ran a bukka joint in a mechanic garage at age 19. In 1998 I went to NYSC orientation camp in the city where I lived at that time to do food business.

When I saw the corp members come to buy food from my stand, I remember weeping one day because I wanted to be like them. I thank God I later saved up money from my mechanic garage food business to buy forms into the Polytechnic and went on to become the first graduate in my family (maternal and paternal) with many other degrees. All of these experiences are instrumental to what I do now which is to encourage and stir women around me to rise up

Inspiration behind The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy and The Model woman foundation
The wisdom driven marriage academy kicked off in 2016 and has brought illumination to a lot of singles and married couples. The testimonies are amazing.

I was doing this with women around me and I saw them began to soar and felt I could reach more women globally using technology so in 2016, we started on whatsapp with few women and today we are grateful. We now hold an online conference tagged “The Complete woman Conference and a live conference tagged “Ignite”

My books; how Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T & Before You Marry

Infact it is the most skilled intensive venture I know because you are dealing with the emotions and destiny of people. I.D.I.O.T is an acronym for traits which are red flags telling you not to continue with the relationship. People with Idiotic attitude are not ready to learn, they want to do marriage the way they like.

A lot of marriages are going through pain because of these Idiotic attitudes. The beautiful thing about the book is that it proffers solution on how to overcome these traits as a single or married person and gives you a step by step approach to end a forever idiotic relationship.

Impact of Model Woman
The modelwoman foundation has been a blessing to a lot of women. Most of these women I have never met because 90% of our engagement is online.

The vision of the foundation is to build excellent legacies so we deployed the strategy of pray and learn. Weekly we pray and organize seminar sessions addressing different issues. We have testimonies of over 60 women who have started new businesses in the group, women who had no idea on what business to start when they joined us, we have marriages restored through the seminars in the group, we have women discovering their purpose and pursuing them.

We have women who have been spiritually revived, the sessions on parenting was life transforming for the women. we have single mums, divorcees in our midst whose self esteem has been restored and are doing so well. We have ladies who were so deep into being side chic to married men end the relationships and turned a new leaf, we have married women involved in illicit relationships end the relationships and became purpose driven.

Challenges
I work with women mostly, the challenge has been the limiting mindset where some of them believe they can’t get to certain heights because of their gender.

Another challenge is some people think getting married is the next thing to be checked on their list without adequately preparing for marriage. They prepare for wedding and not marriage. Just like flying a plane requires skills, marriage, even relationship in the work place requires skills else the marriaage will crash like a plane manned by an ignorant person.

Some couples are excited and working hard ontheir marriage, it is not that they have not had issues, they were only equipped with tools to handle even challenging seasons in their marriage.

Other Projects
I have a passion for women, I also want them to pass the same passion to their daughters so we have the Mum and Daughter Ball (MDB) which is aimed at creating that intentional bonding relationship.

The maiden edition will hold this year. I also have a project for single mums and single dads which will come up before the end of this year. The big one is the Wisdom driven marriage retreat and resorts. A place for couples to unwind and bond.

Reward
The testimonies of changed lives. One incident is a single lady who has been in a relationship with a married man for many years and depended on him for financial assistance. She told me she had always wanted to end the relationship but couldn’t because of the financial assistance she was getting.

Through the sessions on the modelwoman platform, she was able to break free and has an amazing life today working and making a living. So my greatest rewards are women who have found themselves and are unapologetically living their best lives.

On the cause of broken marriages lately
Ignorance is a big issue. I am a firm believer that whatever you are not skilled in, you will kill and if you keep doing it for a long time, it can kill you.. People go to different schools to acquire knowledge in different fields and that’s why they do well. Communication skills, negotiations skills, parenting skills, financial skills and many other skills to build a solid marriage.. These skills are supposed to be acquired pre and post wedding.

Most pre-marital counseling curriculum are not updated to even handle today’s peculiar challenges. When these skills are lacking, marital frustrations begins to set it.. Many people want it fast and are not ready to be patient. Another example is when you do not recognize that the spouse you married 20 years ago has changed and you also need to change.( change here means growth)

To women who are about to get married

Discover yourself before you say yes to a marriage proposal. Your purpose in life will guide your choice. Be economically empowered.

Go into marriage as an asset not a liability. Be equipped with the skills and ensure your would be husband does same. Do not give in to pressure to marry anyone just because everyone around you is getting married. You will stand alone when the heat comes as those who pressured you will be no where to be found.

Give the relationship time. Ask questions. Because I am a Christian and believe that God ordained marriage, I will encourage that women talk to God about their proposed spouse or marriage. Also don’t be carried away by emotions, ensure both of you are agreeable.

My Inspiration
My husband is my number one inspiration and cheer leader. The way he handles pressures and responds when there is a challenge is inspiring.

My 3 wise children constantly push me to study because of the enormous potential they carry. Every day I want to become a better parent who will continually unleash their potential for them to impact their world.

Being a woman of Rubies
Wow! I decided long ago I was going to make a positive mark on every woman I meet. So intentionally mentoring them and ensuring they follow the process to make progress is what I think makes me a woman of rubies.

When we as women collaborate and not compete we will achieve so much because value is in people not places.

God has trapped what we need in relationships. Having the skills to find and nurture these relationships as women will make life so easy. So I must commend Women of Rubies for what they are doing by celebrating women. That’s the spirit!

Final words of advice for women all over the world
Lookout for other women in your community, office, neighborhood. Collaborate, don’t compete. Aspire to the highest level God has designed for you. Don’t think because you are a woman you are inferior; you are the express image of God. Learn from other women. Celebrate a sister whose time of shinning has come and you will attract same.

In Editor's Choice May 11, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“I WAS IN MY 20S BEFORE I BELIEVED I WAS ANYTHING GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL” – SOLA ALLYSON

Sometimes in life, you don’t see anything good about yourself until someone calls your attention to it. And even when they do, you tend not to believe it because of the deep negative thought you have of you.

Sola Allyson has once felt this way and she has a story to tell about it. However, she wants you to know that you are all things beautiful.

Read her note here

You are beautiful!

Yes. You. As in iwo gangan! Ha, you donbilivit??? I am serious o, I mean it, you are beautiful! You don’t realise it because of those words you heard while growing up, because you heard more negative things said about you. You were not validated. Instead you heard words that made you feel ugly and “just there”.

I remember sometime in 1997/98, I was working as a Secretary at Electrowave Limited, Berkley street, off Moloney, Obalende Lagos. My good and fatherly Boss then, Mr. Eka told me to smile more because the few times I did, my smile “could light up the whole world.” That was the first time someone would compliment anything about how I looked!

I was wondering, “me? Which smile? So it means I’m fine? Hen en? My smile? Light up anywhere?” It took me some time to sink it in that something was beautiful about me. Then there was Mr. Okey Uba’s relative that was always calling from “the abroad” to leave a message for his brother, who told me I sounded so nice on phone…

Then I met Baba Dr. Wole Adetiran who, on hearing me sing for the first time, said “striker l’omo yen!”, likening my voice to the position of a Ronaldo in football… I was in my 20s before I believed I was anything good and beautiful.

It had always been there. But being on life’s bad side was presenting me a lie that nothing good or nothing much could come out of me… It still took a while, years after then for me to completely and irrevocably believe that I am beautiful, full of substance, in all. Oh, now, I KNOW! I am beautiful, not just outside but my inside is filled with treasures inestimable!

You are beautiful. Guy, Girl, you are! It is only what you see now that’s making you not see it well. You are! These happenings now are only sharply cutting you into shape. It’s painful, I know. I identify. I have my own scars too. It’s like you’re being chiseled into the proper image for fulfilling your purpose. When the shaping is done, the beauty would be clear for you and all to see! The substance! Keep working. Keep walking. Pay attention to The Spirit’s guiding… #Yóòdáa!

#ÓDÁA! ❤

Source: Woman.ng

In Editor's Choice May 11, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

DISCOVER YOURSELF BEFORE YOU SAY YES TO A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL – FAVOUR OSIRI WISDOM

Favour Osiri Wisdom is an encourager, a certified marriage and relationship mentor with The Institute of Marriage and Family Affairs USA. A certified negotiation and conflict analysis expert with (USIP). United States Institute for Peace. She is the coordinator of the foremost marriage academy in the south south region of Nigeria;The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy in the city of Port Harcourt which equips both married and intending marriage couples to acquire skills to build the marriage of their dreams.

Favour believes her background cannot keep her back on the ground and she is determined to help restore more homes. She shares her story in this inspiring and educative interview.

Childhood

My childhood is full of interesting events that have shaped me into the woman I am today. I didn’t have luxury growing up so being the first child amongst 7 children; my mind was constantly processing on what next to do to make money. I learnt how to braid hair at age 10 and every Christmas season I made money from braiding hair I wanted to go to school at all cost because at that time I was going to be the first graduate in my compound ( both in my maternal and paternal home) .The poverty around me was just too much, I sold oranges during its season, I was involved in the “bole” business (roasted fish and plantain) which I inherited from my mother. I ran a bukka joint in a mechanic garage at age 19. In 1998 I went to NYSC orientation camp in the city where I lived at that time to do food business. When I saw the corp members come to buy food from my stand, I remember weeping one day because I wanted to be like them. I thank God I later saved up money from my mechanic garage food business to buy forms into the Polytechnic and went on to become the first graduate in my family (maternal and paternal) with many other degrees. All of these experiences are instrumental to what I do now which is to encourage and stir women around me to rise up

Inspiration behind The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy and The Model woman foundation

We relocated to Portharcourt in 2013 to start a church ministry and much later started a weekly show on radio called “Family Matters” Nigeria Info PH 92.3 every Monday 2pm to 3pm

The vision for the radio show was to help marriages and those intending to marry with the wisdom that has helped us because at a point in our marriage, we went through turbulent times. We thought the devil had relocated to our home but as we researched more we found out it wasn’t the devil; it was deep ignorance of the skills to do marriage that we lacked. So as we shared these tips on radio, the counseling issues in our office weekly increased. We went into more research, got professional training then we decided to set up the marriage academy to proactively address marital issues. This is because there are issues that 30 mins counseling cannot handle, it will require an entire program to unlearn, learn, re-learn. The wisdom driven marriage academy kicked off in 2016 and has brought illumination to a lot of singles and married couples. The testimonies are amazing.

The Modelwoman foundation is my gift to womanhood. It was founded in 2016. I am an encourager so I never fail to shamelessly use myself as an example of a woman who dare to excel against all odds I could speak to someone for hours with the intent to make sure they move to another level. I was doing this with women around me and I saw them began to soar and felt I could reach more women globally using technology so in 2016, we started on whatsapp with few women and today we are grateful. We now hold an online conference tagged “The Complete woman Conference and a live conference tagged “Ignite”

My books; how Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T & Before You Marry

How not to marry an I.D.I.O.T came as a result of my personal experience of manifesting these traits in the past and my interaction with intending couples and married couples alike. I have seen people marry with all the red flags telling them not to and the marriage breaks after few months. Some people also think marriage does not require skills but it does seriously. In fact it is the most skilled intensive venture I know because you are dealing with the emotions and destiny of people. I.D.I.O.T is an acronym for traits which are red flags telling you not to continue with the relationship. People with Idiotic attitude are not ready to learn, they want to do marriage the way they like. A lot of marriages are going through pain because of these Idiotic attitudes. The beautiful thing about the book is that it proffers solution on how to overcome these traits as a single or married person and gives you a step by step approach to end a forever idiotic relationship.

Before You Marry is a compilation of 50 things (There might be more) to consider before you marry. The book is to help intending couples with some of the relevant questions and discussions they need to have before they walk the aisle we live in the age where people see marriage as the next thing to check on their list without asking relevant questions. Questions reveal a lot of things. An example is having a discussion on the possibility of adoption where there is delay in child bearing. These questions and discussions brings clarity in the marriage.

Impact of Model Woman

The modelwoman foundation has been a blessing to a lot of women. Most of these women I have never met because 90% of our engagement is online. The vision of the foundation is to build excellent legacies so we deployed the strategy of pray and learn. Weekly we pray and organize seminar sessions addressing different issues. We have testimonies of over 60 women who have started new businesses in the group, women who had no idea on what business to start when they joined us, we have marriages restored through the seminars in the group, we have women discovering their purpose and pursuing them. We have women who have been spiritually revived, the sessions on parenting was life transforming for the women. we have single mums, divorcees in our midst whose self esteem has been restored and are doing so well. We have ladies who were so deep into being side chic to married men end the relationships and turned a new leaf, we have married women involved in illicit relationships end the relationships and became purpose driven. We also have weekly diverse testimonies of changed lives in the the foundation. We have a project called ‘Value driven Life Project for secondary schools. The project is to impact the students with soft skills to make informed decisions about their lives and to make them aware they are valuable. Recently we had an amazing outing on Valentine’s Day titled SEX IS NOT LOVE. We had students who planned to break their virginity as a mark of love come to us willingly seeking for help which we have followed up..

The wsidom driven marriage has impacted a lot of singles and married couples. The “Save Your marriage program” which is an intensive 8weeks program for deeply troubled marriages have revived and saved marriages on the verge of divorce. We have seen singles quit relationships because they suddenlyfound out that even though the relationship looks good to them, it may not be good to them.

Challenges

I work with women mostly, the challenge has been the limiting mindset where some of them believe they cant get to certain heights because of their gender. Another challenge is some people think getting married is the next thing to be checked on their list without adequately preparing for marriage. They prepare for wedding and not marriage. Just like flying a plaane requires skills, marriage, even relationship in the work place requires skills else the marriaage will crash like a plane manned by an ignorant person. Some couples are excited and working hard ontheir marriage, it is not that they have not had issues, they were only equipped with tools to handle even challenging seasons in their marriage.

Other project and activities

Because I have a passion for women, I also want them to pass the same passion to their daughters so we have the Mum and Daughter Ball (MDB) which is aimed at creating that intentional bonding relationship. The maiden edition will hold this year. I also have a project for single mums and single dads which will come up before the end of this year. The big one is the Wisdom driven marriage retreat and resorts. A place for couples to unwind and bond.

Reward

The testimonies of changed lives. One incident is a single lady who has been in a relationship with a married man for many years and depended on him for financial assistance. She told me she had always wanted to end the relationship but couldn’t because of the financial assistance she was getting. Through the sessions on the modelwoman platform, she was able to break free and has an amazing life today working and making a living. So my greatest rewards are women who have found themselves and are unapologetically living their best lives.

On the cause of broken marriages lately

Ignorance is a big issue. I am a firm believer that whatever you are not skilled in, you will kill and if you keep doing it for a long time, it can kill you.. People go to different schools to acquire knowledge in different fields and that’s why they do well. Some even specialize. For example I cannot fly a plane no matter how passionate I am because I do not have the skills. Also marriage requires skills. Communication skills, negotiations skills, parenting skills, financial skills and many other skills to build a solid marriage.. These skills are supposed to be acquired pre and post wedding. Most pre-marital counseling curriculum are not updated to even handle today’s peculiar challenges. When these skills are lacking, marital frustrations begins to set it. Another reason for broken marriages is that the impatience level today is very short especially with technology where everything is fast. Many people want it fast and are not ready to be patient.. Another example is when you do not recognize that the spouse you married 20 years ago has changed and you also need to change.( change here means growth)

To women who are about to get married

Ans: Discover yourself before you say yes to a marriage proposal. Your purpose in life will guide your choice. Be economically empowered. Go into marriage as an asset not a liability. Be equipped with the skills and ensure your would be husband does same. Do not give in to pressure to marry anyone just because everyone around you is getting married. You will stand alone when the heat comes as those who pressured you will be no where to be found. Give the relationship time. Ask questions. Because I am a Christian and believe that God ordained marriage, I will encourage that women talk to God about their proposed spouse or marriage. Also don’t be carried away by emotions, ensure both of you are agreeable.

My Inspiration

My husband is my number one inspiration and cheer leader. The way he handles pressures and responds when there is a challenge is inspiring. My 3 wise children constantly push me to study because of the enormous potential they carry. Every day I want to become a better parent who will continually unleash their potential for them to impact their world.

Being a woman of Rubies

Wow! I decided long ago I was going to make a positive mark on every woman I meet. So intentionally mentoring them and ensuring they follow the process to make progress is what I think makes me a woman of rubies. When we as women collaborate and not compete we will achieve so much because value is in people not places. God has trapped what we need in relationships. Having the skills to find and nurture these relationships as women will make life so easy. So I must commend Women of Rubies for what they are doing by celebrating women. That’s the spirit!

Final words of advice for women all over the world

Lookout for other women in your community, office, neighborhood. Collaborate, don’t compete. Aspire to the highest level God has designed for you. Don’t think because you are a woman you are inferior; you are the express image of God. Learn from other women. Celebrate a sister whose time of shinning has come and you will attract same

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Favour Osiri Wisdom: Discover Yourself Before You Say Yes To A Marriage Proposal

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DISCOVER YOURSELF BEFORE YOU SAY YES TO A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL – FAVOUR OSIRI WISDOM

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