i, I’m Oye and I’m the founder of Oye-Ebony Beauty Emporium. I started Oye-Ebony in 2014 as a side hustle while working as a Customer Care Executive with a Telecommunications company in Nigeria. I wanted an additional source of income but also realized how the women in the call center cared less about how they looked. I also noticed I always got a lot of good compliments about how I look and that’s how I became their beauty plug. I started a blog where I shared beauty tips and did some reviews on beauty products that I come across and love too.
We live in a time where people think the most expensive products are the most effective but I know that’s not true. I’ve been in the beauty industry for almost 7years and it’s made me realize that women need guidance to help make the right beauty choices. Our online Beauty Consultant is available to make every shopping experience easy. I launched this e-commerce site to showcase the best and affordable local and international beauty brands for beauty enthusiasts on a budget but the vision is bigger than that.
Oye-Ebony Beauty Emporium is committed to helping women prioritize inner beauty while they shop for products to enhance outer beauty. True beauty is not only about one’s appearance to the outside world but how you feel inside.
Welcome to Oye-Ebony Beauty Emporium- Beauty is in you…
THE STORY
Oye-Ebony Beauty Emporium is an e-commerce platform, focused on trendy and pocket-friendly local and international beauty products. The platform is the destination for an amazing range of exciting and effective beauty brands (Local and International). The Nigerian beauty industry is filled up with skincare and hair care brands that are undiscovered locally and we want this platform to showcase them.
Founded in 2014, Oye-Ebony Beauty started as a mobile and Instagram store catering for beauty enthusiasts on a budget.
“Outer beauty attracts, but inner beauty captivates” – Kate Angell
One of the many reasons why women stay in abusive relationships is due to lack of information on where they can go, where to report, and how to leave without “Poking the bear”. The pandemic has in no little way birth an epidemic of incessant cases of Rape and Domestic Violence. A situation that is fast becoming the order of the day, with different hashtag trends to help bring it to the fore.
Osasu Edobor is one of the women on the frontlines advocating for victims of Domestic Violence, and using her voice and resources where it matters.
Osasu is a social development expert with over twelve years’ experience as a gender advocate infusing new media and technology to propagate gender inclusion. She is the Curator of HERFESSIONS mobile app, an anonymous online platform for survivors of sexual violence to access resources, group support, information and ultimately a community to work-out the journey to recovery.
She holds a Master’s degree in Managerial Psychology from the University of Lagos, a 2016 African American Institute Scholar with a certificate in Social Sector Management from the Enterprise Development Centre of the Pan Atlantic University, Lagos, and also a 2018 Mandela Washington Fellow with a certificate in Civic Leadership from Rutgers University, the state of New Jersey, USA.
She previously worked as the Programme Director of the Bimbo Odukoya Foundation where she facilitated the provision of GBV intervention schemes such as a temporary safe house for survivors of Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse, and gender responsive programming for young people. Prior to full switch into the development space, she worked in Media and Advertising producing family content and branding, whilst volunteering with numerous non-profit organization.She is versatile, exploring the boundaries of social development via her organization. She shares her Inspiring journey and recent feat with Esther Ijewere in this exclusive Interview.
Childhood Preparation
I grew up in a family of 5 girls and an only brother, my father despite wanting a boy or two didn’t spare us. We did everything a man would do around the house, it did not help that he was an Engineer, so we lived by the rule Maintenance culture. This however was a huge contrast to what we saw in extended family. It toughened me, to see family members, being victimized. The high point of growing up was watching my mother turn her biology lectures to sexual reproductive health conversations and continually counselling girls my age and building self esteem in as many as sought her help in our neighbourhood.
HERfessions support group
Inspiration behind HERfessions
I had run a shelter for domestic violence and sexual violence survivors and for the women it was a great concern that we couldn’t maintain therapy for them, as it became next to impossible to get them to come back physically. We thought that by providing an online platform of engagement, It minimized the physical movement, helped to build a community for much needed support
The Journey so far
It has been rewarding, fulfilling and hectic all wrapped in one. Whilst one delights in the increased awareness, and heightened knowledge of self worth in Women, the lags of poor enforcement of law makes seeking Justice the path of a rabble rouser, which is a cape I wear proudly.
Working in different sectors across board, and pitching my tent in the GBV sector
Indeed, with my career start in Media, I saw that the Women were portrayed continually as objects of enjoyment instead of human beings capable of great things. Pivotal to my switch was a volunteer training I involved myself with in the Makoko axis of Lagos, despite it been an empowerment initiative, I found I engaged with quiet a number of battered women, who were helpless and lacking in knowledge of how to pursue Justice.
That spurred me to build a career in Non profit management with a huge focus on Gender based Violence, despite having held jobs that spoke to Civic Education, Sexual Reproductive Rights, Education, Health to name a few.
Being a fellow of different development organisations
As an avid knowledge seeker, two fellowships stand out for me. At the Enterprise Development Center, Of the Lagos Business School, were I partook of The Social Sector Management, and most recently as 2018 Mandela Washington Fellowship, a exchange program facilitated by the US Government for young exceptional African leaders. These fellowships opened a network of people, resources and allies, whilst also ensuring I garnered skill that were best practice.
HERfessions helping to nab an abusive man
Indeed it was a great achievement for us as an organisation. The perpetrator in a brazen act had beat up his spouse and posted on a social media bragging about the ability of the police to effect an arrest against him. been the tool that social media is it received a lot of attention, as well as the speedy intervention of the state. He was charged to court and the legal process of ensure the safety of the survivors is still underway.
Nigerians knowledge of the GBV Sector
We have a long way to go in first domesticating the laws that will protect women and girls across the country, and a longer road to change the narrative and culture of impunity towards women. Whilst some states have done extensive work, there is need to ensure the advocacy done is implemented through laws institutionalization and enforcement. As a Country, we need to begin to engage all facets of endeavor to change the narrative attached with to rape, domestic violence or sexual violence in general. Sexual Violence is perpetuated in any environment where there is power. We must ensure we have systems that can check power, be it at the office, church, mosque, market, home, school, or community. We must engage the media (with special reference to Africa Magic) to tell better stories, tell corrective stories that can shape a culture of zero tolerance to Gender Based Violence.
Why I created the HERfessions App
The HERfessions mobile app is a great resource for women and girls available on playstore. It is an anonymous platform to receive support and find help to deal with all forms of sexual violence, available on playstore now.
– Also in commemoration of the June 19th (elimination of sexual violence in conflict) and the recent epidemic of several rape killings on your girls, we have through out Cast project launch a series to address men with the hashtag #menchangingthenarrative series.
Challenges as an Advocate
People’s general assumptions of you been a rabble-rouser , particularly as a young woman, one continual contends with people who do not value the work been done. the greatest really is the ingrained culture in women who do not believe when issues escalate, the governments help can be sort via the Police. Asides this, the grave challenges of systemic failure in pursuing justice, is a sad tale every advocate can attest to. Finally, justice comes at a great cost. We need structures that make leave abusive situations easy. structures like Shelters, Half-way homes, Cost of therapy, and legal fees, Whilst Advocates continually gives this services at no cost to the Survivors, there are huge cost, that most offset, for justice( and healing) to be served. It is my earnest appeal that individuals begin to make it a part of their life style to support a charity with Donations or volunteer their time or skill for social good. I must reiterate it is rewarding work.
Being a mental health advocate, counselor, Convener of an inspiring platform and managing it all
Contrary to what people say, you can’t have it all. I didn’t start on this journey today, it’s been over a decade of building my work, harnessing low hanging fruits, and just doing work that I love. I can be described as a multi-potentialite, which comes with it nuances of creativity outburst and continual personal critiquing. I live by two personal philosophies – To thyself be true and live one day at a time. I am not under any pressure to impress or shine, I do what i set out to do and I pace myself always.
What I have found works is – do you genuinely, peace always follows. I am not in competition with anyone.
Other projects and activities
The Intersection of my work is Gender based violence, with a great link to mental health because there is a great need for . We however use the medium of technology and new media to deliver our messages. With the HERfessions App, it was us anticipating difficulty in movement of survivors due to varying reasons (which was foresight considering the COVID-19 pandemic). Our services also include engaging survivors physically through the TEHILA series, a replica of the conversations on the mobile app.Via new media, we use our social media platforms to push narratives that empower the woman via our storytelling mediums. It is our belief that to change the culture of silence, we must subliminal affect the minds of our community via its music, movies, and entertainment. This gave rise to our CAST project- a commissioned theatrical performance we use to teach and educate in public domain such as markets, Malls, and gatherings.
Being a Woman of Rubies
Primarily I am passionate and dogged in my belief that women can be better and treated better. Women must believe in themselves enough to thrive and collaborate
Vital nuggets for the Girl child during the Pandemic
The conversations have always been screwed to what girls should do, whilst that is both responsible and one-sided, I would add that girls need to invest in protective skills and gadgets. Learn how to defend yourself, own a pepper spray. In addition I would like to address the men folk and say ; NO is a full sentence. Self-control is achievable.
To women afraid to walk away from abusive relationships
Walk away, you will find help. I found that for advocacy to work, we must continually repeat one message. You are worth of love, Let yourself Live, so Leave.
Living life is a constant work in progress for each person, but that doesn’t mean that you should get so caught up that you neglect showing yourself love. Break down the walls preventing you from self-love, and enrich your life. Here are 6 ways I have learnt to show myself love, you should try it too.
1. Tell Yourself What You Love About Yourself
Many times, we get caught up in everything around us that we forget to remind ourselves just how awesome we are. Our own disappointment, acceptance, patience, and love that we have for ourselves will always reflect what we show others.
2. Accept Imperfection
One of the most worthwhile things that we can do for ourselves is to give up on being perfect, and start the journey to become our true selves. The best part of that journey is to return to feeling peace within ourselves. This peace comes from training your mind to process life as it actually is, rather than what you think it should be.
3. Know That the Approval of Others Doesn’t Matter
Oftentimes people greatly value having the approval of others, even when it isn’t clear exactly what would gain their approval.You should instead focus on doing what is right for your own self, disregarding what others will think. You do not need anyone’s permission to be happy.
4. Bring Distance Between Yourself and Those Who Bring You Down
Worry less about the people in your life that are not worrying about you. You should surround yourself with those who inspire you, respect you, love you, and support you.
5. Make the Changes You Know Are Necessary
When you know that you want to see changes in your life, you will need to do things that you’ve never done before. Aim to stay away from the things that tear you down, and gravitate toward the things, activities and thoughts that fulfill you in the way that you want.
6. Let Go of Your Past Self
A part of life is that good people like you will sometimes make bad choices. Sure, past mistakes make up who you are today, but they do not define you. It is never too late to move on from them – dwelling will only lead to hurt.
“Esther is an activist, Writer, Columnist, Author and editor-in-chief & founder -Women of Rubies. She is passionate about issues that affect women and children.
Education is improving the lives of others and leaving your world or community better than you found it. This is one of the major roles Teachers play, they affect eternity, and no one can determine where their influence stops. With the Global pandemic, Parents are beginning to see the value of these wonderful humans who not only teach our kids but influence them to be better.
Aramide Akintimehin is one of such souls, she is adding colour to the world by dedicating her life and time to teach primary school pupils.
She earns a living as a primary school teacher while running a free out-of-school children Initiative called; Talent Mine Academy. A journey she embarked on because of the poor quality of education in public schools.
In the course of imparting knowledge in children, Aramide also said she learns from them, and it has become a two-way learning curve.
The first-class degree holder in Economics is very passionate about her chosen career path, she shares her inspiring journey and the effect of Covid19 on Teachers and students in this mind blowing interview.
Childhood Preparation
Growing up as a child, I really loved to teach. I remember running home every day after school to arrange 7up bottles in my house like a classroom and I would literally start to teach them what my teacher had taught me in school for the day. At some points, I would arrange them for presentations and begin to sing and dance with them. As I progressed to secondary school and even higher institution, I explained difficult concepts to my classmates and even took mini-tutorials on Sundays, It has always been my dream to teach since I was 6 years old.
Being a Primary School Teacher
Fabulous! I am doing what I love and the level of joy and fulfillment I get from seeing my kids grow into responsible champs keeps me motivated always.
Talent Mine Academy
As a teacher, I went out of school one day during the break period and on my way out, I noticed some kids roaming the streets during school hours. I called two of them and we had a conversation because I really wanted to know why they weren’t in school at that time. They both stated that their parents did not have enough money to send them to school. This bothered me much because education has played a major role in my life and I see no reason why a child should be denied this life-changing experience.
This is the major reason why I started a free academy where out-of-school children and kids cannot afford quality education are equipped with basic literacy, numeracy, and digital skills. Also, we empower their parents economically with vocational and entrepreneurial skills so that they can sustain their families. We currently have 26 kids and I would with 20 amazing volunteers, and we hope to be established in 7 communities; impacting over 3000 kids by 2024.
Appreciation of Young Female Teachers in the Society
Hmmm! One day, I hope that when I introduce myself as a teacher, people will look at me with admiration and not with pity or as a failure.
The effect of Covid-19 on the educational sector and the role of Parents
I advise that this period, parents should rather impact their kids with the basic life skills they need to thrive in life. They should teach their kids simple courtesy, computer skills and so on. They should work on improving their thinking skills, creativity level, problem-solving skills and most importantly, they should leverage on this period to spend quality time and build a solid relationship with their kids.
Post Covid19 effect on Student
The severity of the school closure will affect kids in low-income communities the most because of the interrupted learning system and high economic costs of living they are currently facing. I’ve spoken to some of my kids during this period and they’ve stated how hard things are as their parents do not work anymore.
The lack of access to the internet and technological devices will prevent these kids from learning at the comfort of their homes like the privileged kids are doing at the moment. The closure can also influence the behavioral patterns of the kids as most of them are not exposed to the relatives and family members that constantly abuse them and influence them negatively. I can just imagine how Aliyat (one of my kids who her brother constantly calls a dullard) will feel about herself and academics when she resumes. Will that kind of child be open to the belief that she can solve difficult concepts with that mindset block?
Asides from the interruption in learning, these kids are also deprived of the growth and development in terms of social skills that they derive from being present in a school environment. Parents can never replace teachers in this case as they do not have the knowledge and expertise to be a competent teacher for their kids as they might not know the learning needs of the child.
However, being deprived of all these development factors the school offers, the students will be affected one way or the other after the resumption of schools.
Challenges as a Teacher & Social Entrepreneur
I see challenges as opportunities and learning curves so, at the moment, I really cannot recall any challenge I am currently facing in my work.
Other projects and activities
My next project is to provide Post-Covid-19 support to the parents and kids of Talent Mine Academy. We hope to restock their food items after this pandemic is over because, after the lockdown, they might not have any food items left as most of them had to stop working and might not have any money after the lockdown. I would have to fundraise to do this but I believe it is worth it because the initiative will support their families pending the period they recover fully from the economic impact of the pandemic.
To the Government and Education System
The Covid-19 didn’t affect the education system in some countries and even some schools right here in Nigeria were not too affected because they already had a pre-existing system/structure they could fall back to- technology. Before now, they had already leveraged technology to aid learning and support remote learning, so this was not really a big issue for them. However, there are currently no low-cost schools or public schools that are running at the moment because there is no system or structure to fall on during this period. I believe that all schools including public schools should focus on embracing technology and creating a system where remote learning can take place easily.
Technology is the future of education and the best part is that education is actually the future of any country. The education system should introduce more learning models to build the resilience of the education system against times like this. I believe that this cannot happen without the government investing more in the education system as against the less than 26 percent allotted to the sector.
Being a Woman of Rubies
Sometime last year, I studied the Rubies and I noticed that people pay millions of dollars just to acquire what looks enticing outside but they do not know the content inside that gemstone. The bible describes a Proverbs 31 woman as one worth more than rubies because she is virtuous and capable.
Being virtuous is an inner quality. The dictionary puts it as one who has high standards, character or values.
However, being capable is an external quality which means that you have the ability to do something. You have various skill sets and abilities. If you agree with me, one cannot have a skill set or know how to do something without learning it and you must be willing to learn something before you can actually devote time and resources to learning it. So when you find someone that is capable— one that knows how to do a lot of things (making hair, sewing, cooking, makeup and so on), that person has taken time to learn because he/she is willing. So it is willingness to learn that makes one capable.
The combination of being virtuous (inner glow) and capable (outer glow) is what makes me have more worth than rubies. I believe that I am a woman of so much character, values and standards and I am worth much more than my external view. I would rather glow from the inside out because, beyond beauty and appearance, good character truly makes you attractive. Though I am not perfect, my commitment to learn and be better at being me daily is beyond words and I am grateful to God for that spirit.
3 women who inspire me to be better
Funmilola Oluwalade
Ibukun Awosika
Grace Amoka
To young women who want to become Teachers
The only thing I have to say is that “Until the day you care less about money and the opinions/actions of people, you will never live the life God has called you to live”. You are really self-sabotaging yourself and the destinies tied to you. Become fearless and soar— The education sector needs you and trust me, it is a worthy profession. Now and always!
Fagbenro Christiana Boluwatife, best known as Tife Chris, is a young creative studying Geology at Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ago Iwoye, Ogun State. She hails from Ado Odo-Ota, Ogun State. Tife started making art at a very early age of 5, but she developed deep interest at the age of 18 when she learnt how to draw using pencils and started using oil colours. Her passion for Art went deeper when she discovered the beauty in it and not just beauty, but also a way of expressing oneself. She’s a Christian, a lover of science and very active in sports in the likes of swimming and basketball. She shares her Art to the world through stage painting, writing, music and poetry, she is also an active volunteer and a member of few NGOs that aim at making positive impact to the lives of others. Tife reminds me of my years as an undergraduate, her passion and tenacity is unwithered and it’s very reflective in her work and ambience. She shares her journey with me in this exclusive Interview.
Childhood Preparation
MY childhood didn’t prepare me for what I do now, although it played a huge role due to the fact that I was very creative at that stage. I started painting and using watercolours at a very young age but I never for once saw myself doing what I’m doing today. I did those things for fun and never expected them to be a huge part of my life. Growing up was quite interesting and, as a normal child, I have both good and bad memories. I grew up in a strict and competitive environment where everyone had to meet certain standards. There was no one to share my thoughts or emotions with, so I learned to develop myself even when there was no one to talk to. This has made me active in few NGOs so I could give to the society what I couldn’t get. It wasn’t always easy and I got to learn from challenges.
My passion for Art
I wasn’t directly inspired to go into Art, truly, science has been my passion since childhood. I’ve always wanted to be a medical doctor, to help people, that’s where my passion came from. I loved to see people heal, get better. And I never for once thought of going into Art, so nothing could inspire me to venture down the world of Art.
I can only say God made a turn of events to make me see what I was completely oblivious to. At a stage in my life where science wasn’t responding, I was forced to look at the bright side of Art. And since then I’ve been falling deeper in love with Art, all dimensions of it.
My Artistic Journey
I thank God for the journey so far, it’s been wonderful, even though there have been lots of challenges especially due to the fact that I studies a different field from Art, finances as a student and the fact that I ultimately have to balance up my academics first before anything else. I’ve had experiences with lessons I know would be very useful even after I graduate.
Balancing School with Art
That dexterity has been a natural part of me, human beings are very dynamic and when we put our minds to something, no matter how diverse or colossal it may be, you’ll be done with it before you know it. Timing is also very important even though I find it hard sometimes to meet up within the appropriate time, going for lectures at the right time, going to church, creating time for art and writing, meeting up with basketball practice and guitar lessons, time to study, taking few hours to swim and sacrificing time for rehearsals. As long as I have a mental timetable and I try not to overwork myself while creating a compulsory time to rest, by God’s grace I’m able to do just fine.
My Aspiration
The first is to be a successful Artist. Let the world realise your talents can make you stand out. I would also love to travel the world and explore all forms of Art. I really have a lot to learn, I go on the internet and discover lots of amazing works from different artists. I would love to learn as many forms of Art as I can.
I also hope to own an Art firm with a gallery where everyone can be who they want to be and create ideas, use the beauty of Art to make people’s lives better, to make them heal.
Lastly, I aspire to be a role model as an artist, someone who inspires, an artist people can look up to. I want to be happy both in the outside world and with my family and home.
Three women who inspire me to be better and why
Ms. Esther Ijewere, convener of Women of Rubies, Ruby Girls, Rubies Ink and Walk Against Rape and Benita Nnarchortam, personal photographer /SA to the former governor of Ogun state and co-founder, Kuta Nigeria. And my mother, CEO k2cut fashion. These women have inspired me to be better no matter where you’re starting from, they’ve taught me to sacrifice and I’ve felt the love of a woman from them especially on the Ruby Girls page. I love people who break limits and create new ideas and Benita has really inspired me in that area.
Challenges of being an Artist
Time is my major challenge, meeting up with schedule is very hard and sometimes I have to cancel some events and I’m grateful to HRM, my friends because they help me when they can and cheer me to move on when I seem tired. Managing my craft and handling school has indeed been stressful and sometimes I realise I have just little time to myself.
Funding and equipment has also been a challenge, what’s the use of time without money? Getting school materials and Art materials too. Thank God for my parents, my sister and close friends and the fact that I get commissioned works to support myself with. Also, the environment where I’m based as a student doesn’t give enough exposure and insight into Art, they rarely appreciate Art and sometimes volunteering would be depreciated.
Being a Woman of Rubies
I believe I’m special in my own way. Everyone has that hidden talent in them that makes them stand out and unfolding these talents has made me realise I’m a Woman of Ruby. I can achieve whatever I put my mind to.
Dear Young Women,
It’s never too early to start trying, now is best. Don’t let your present state limit you. The only thing you should be afraid of is not to have a dream. If you have a vision, pursue it!
– Says Government need to set up Mental health facilities and distress lines as soon as possible….
One of the downsides of the present change the world is experiencing because of the Coronavirus pandemic is the effect it would have on the mental health of so many people globally. Many have never been in situations where they have to stay in one place and not move around. While the social distancing and lockdown is a necessary safety measure to flatten the curve of COVID virus, we also need to create mental safe space for everyone.
Rinret Gofwan shares her thoughts on this. She is a behavioural change therapist, licensed trauma therapist, a certified emotional intelligence coach who specialises in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Advanced Training for Trauma Treatment of complex PTSD, overcoming compassion fatigue with professional resiliency, trauma and addiction.
Rinret is a University of Abuja Trained Communicator and Psychologist from the University of Jos, and a Sociologist From the University of Maiduguri with a Masters in International Relations and Strategic Studies. She is also the founding director at the Miriam Gofwan Women and Children Foundation. She shares her inspiring story while giving us an insight on how coronavirus will affect the mental health of people globally.
Growing up
Growing up as an only child, I was spoilt with everything. Looking back, I was an over-pampered child. My late mum wanted me to have everything life had to offer until she passed on. So at 16 years, I was alone, I didn’t know how to wash my clothes; it was at that moment life welcomed me. I had to start learning and I had to adapt and survive.
Inspiration behind Miriam Gofwan Women and Children Foundation and its impact
I always get this question and I’m always trying to figure out which life lesson to start with. Is it being accused of witchcraft, being abused and raped or almost losing my life in an accident? All these alongside my near-death experience inspired me to start the organisation. I disconnected from reality and built a personality. I couldn’t face my life as it was, suffered from pain and disassociating (disconnecting-from reality and couldn’t feel anything). I was fortunate to meet my mentors, Innocent and Talatu Usar, who God used to pull me through that phase of my life.
Being a Behavioural Change Therapist, Certified EI Coach, Trained Communicator and managing it all
Well when you are addicted to finding ways to heal, you will stumble into many training. In my trauma healing work, I need to be equipped with the right tools that would help in healing, so I committed myself to learn. You know people respond differently to trauma; what might be traumatic to someone might not be to you. How we react and respond to traumatic events are different. With this in mind, I went into learning and this has helped me understand my clients and knowing what tool to use in any case we have at the Foundation and the wellbeing hub.
What inspired me to start the pan-Nigeria healing room and the wellbeing hub for professionals
You see, the pain has no gender, no religion, no status no tribe, no class. Pain does not choose who feels it, we ALL feel pain; either from losing a loved one, loss of our childhood, abuse of any kind (verbal, emotional and physical) heartbreaks, disappointment, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, accusation or any traumatic experience. We are constantly trying to deal with these emotional issues and staking them side by side.
When emotions are over-staked and thoughts can’t be controlled, we need to devise methods to help. That’s how the Healing Room and the hub for professionals started; to enlighten, help and give professionals a place to go seek for help. The Healing Room became a place we go to sort out all these stacked up emotions, a no-judgment zone where you speak up and get healed. Coming to the healing room to some is like coming for medical checks monthly or weekly. To others, it is like coming to take vaccines to reset their minds; to some, it’s coming for medications in each session. To some, it is a place to support others who are in pain. To some, it is a place to hang out and stay emotionally healthy with proper guidelines.
Above all, it is a place of restoring wholeness for professionals.
Mental health effect of coronavirus pandemic and what can we do as a society to sensitise people
The first thing is to encourage people to stay calm, already I have many clients who are suffering from depression and anxiety because of the situation and we kicked off online group sessions to help them.
The truth is, being isolated is not healthy for people who are not used to such serenity, or people who have had a history of depression. What mental health practitioners can do right now is to start using technology and phone calls to help manage their clients, I have started on my end and I hope many more will go that route. The government would need to leverage on technology to also enable people to get first-hand mental health help online, by providing distress numbers to call. This will make a lot of difference.
Wellness nuggets for women who don’t know how to slam the breaks and detox
You see, mental and emotional wellbeing is an important part of our overall health. Women who are mentally and emotionally healthy are more in control of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Women need to understand how to master their emotions and know how to be balanced in all seven dimensions of wellbeing, which are social, emotional, spiritual, environmental, occupational, Intellectual and physical. Stress is the feeling of being under too much pressure and feeling unable to cope with situations. Women who are constantly affected by stress in different ways end up getting sick and over time, ending up with mental health and physical issues.
Here are some things women can do to help reduce stress, constantly and instantly, over a period time:
Learning how to say NO, breathe; learn to relax your mind and body, try breathing exercises that can calm you down when under stress, exercise, get Spa dates to help release tension. Sleep – try to go to bed and wake up at a good time, laughing to relieve stress, talk- open up to someone you trust about your problems, and surround yourself with people who inspire you.
Challenges of Being a Mental Health Advocate
Mental health stigma, our justice systems, religious believes around mental health issues, funding for the foundation, consistency in following the therapy processes, the high rate of people in rural areas who are not aware of mental health issues, and how poverty has made them turn all issues of mental health to spiritual issues, the deliverance centers where they beat and abuse those with behavioural issues instead of therapy homes and the lack of mental health therapy centers.
Other projects and activities
We are currently working with some government agencies to launch and fix our sanitary pad boxes across the country in communities and public schools. We have opened our sanitary bank where we receive sanitary pads for distribution to schools and communities. We are opening more healing room therapy groups in five other states. We designed some trauma-informed course outlines to help schools and organizations. We recently just opened the wellbeing hub in Abuja, where we attend to clients who want private therapy and want trauma-informed trainings and care for their schools and organisations.
What makes you a Woman of Rubies
For me the stone ruby is also believed to protect self and others from negative entities that bring positive energy, promoting spiritual vitality and wellness. Now this describes the woman I have become- a strong woman who has gone through a lot and survived, coming out beautiful, standing strong and helping thousands of men and women. Now, that describes me!
As a counselor of repute and certified Trauma specialist, do you think the Nigerian Government has done enough in the Mental Health sector? If not, what would you suggest they do better?
I believe the government can do more by setting up more mental health facilities and rehabilitation centers; creating awareness around mental health issues and the stigma around it; reforming the justice process in rape cases and how evidence is processed; setting up therapy session and mental health training for our men and women in uniform; creating a safe working environment for women and young girls to speak up, not be shamed and judged; including mental health sessions in our school curriculums, and making sure we have sanitary pads and the boxes hanging everywhere in the country.
In the past few weeks, we have witnessed a situation that has not only put the world at a standstill but also affected families and businesses. Many can’t afford to put food on the table as a result of the global lockdown to help contain the virus.
Agro Entrepreneur Ibenero Tobiloba Tolase is helping to alleviate the pain of many by providing them with food and giving them hope through her Teemark Food Company; where she produces and processes raw foods such as (Garri Ijebu, Yam flour and plantain flour).
With support from well meaning Nigerians she’s been able to feed over 200 families in light of the Coronavirus pandemic, as they partner with her to package foodstuff under four thousand Naira to feed each family in a bid to give hope, pending when things go back to normal.
The graduate of Pure and Applied chemistry from Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH) was inspired by her love for Agriculture and passion for food which started when She was young. Tobi loved seeing the smiles on people’s faces when they eat good quality food.
Aside from Agricuulture, Tobi is also passionate about issues that affects women and young girls, through her Girlscrib initiative , she helps sensitise women and teenage girls on the importance of menstrual health. This initiative also distributes sanitary pads to secondary school girls
She is the Creative Director of JEMBRIDALS, a bridal outfit. a one stop bridal shop for traditional wedding and asoebi and also volunteers for PROJECT SMILE, an NGO that reaches out to the orphans all over Nigeria.
She shares her inspiring story in this interview.
Growing up
My childhood was fun and I am glad I had a mother is filled with wisdom and taught me all I know today, I am the eldest of two children and was trained well in all area not because I am a girl but because I would be a leader some day. One thing that was constant in our home was food to give to friends and families. My mum always told us never look the other way when people around you have nothing to eat and that lesson is what is guiding me till date.
Inspiration behind Teemarkfoods
Good food! My love for food and Agriculture inspired Teemarkfood. One of the ways I feel fulfilled is seeing people have access to quality food and which has been my mantra since I was a child.
Reception since Inception
It is a learning process, but I am grateful to God for wisdom to discern the pros and cons of the business. People have been very supportive and accepting of my initiative.
Support for Female Agropreneurs
Well, we are not there yet but times are changing we will get there eventually. We are not backing down, we will keep pushing till we are are at the front burner and recognised for our efforts as change agents.
Giving hope to those affected by the lockdown
There was a point in my life when we had nothing to eat as a family, it was a very difficult time and with that understanding, knowing that there are families out there who do not have anything to feed on but might be reluctant to ask from friends and families, the next thing I thought of was reaching out to them first.
Effect of the Lockdown and Coronavirus on Agropreneur
Honestly I would say transportation getting the food from one place to the other so people access to it easily, but we are doing our best to give hope and lighten the burden of people, we are also calling on well meaning Nigerians to help alleviate the pain of these people by partnering with us through her platform to feed more people.
Challenges of being an Agro Entrepreneur
Financial challenges: Agro Entrepreneurs not having Access to loans and enough capital to improve and increase the productivity.
Transportation: Government should help reduce charges and fees paid on farm produce that are transported from farm to urban areas
Education: sensitisation of our local farmers on technology and its advantages on agriculture is also very important because it makes the production faster and delivery to consumers quick.
Other projects and activities
I am working on a project called “Girlscrib” this is an NGO for women and teenage girls, the project will help Educate women on menstrual health and also provide sanitary pads to secondary school girls.
Being a Woman of Rubies
I believe I carry greatness within me and I am on a journey to transfer that greatness into each and everyone I come across by spreading love.
To young women who want to become Agro Entrepreneurs
I would say this first, Trust God to use you as a vessel for greatness, believe strongly in your self and lastly stay focus. When you have these three you become unstoppable.
Who we marry is one of the most important decisions in life. One that will influence the level of happiness, growth, and success, like no other choice. However, the concept of marriage has taken a new turn in the last couple of years, as we’ve witnessed not only high rate of divorce and separation, but partners devising violent methods to end their marriage. Modupe Ehirim is changing that narrative through her Right Fit Marriage Academy, where she works with men and women to become persons that their spouses look forward to coming home too.
Using The Right Fit Marriage Program, Modupe Ehirim guides married people to intentionally design and build healthy and long-lasting marriages. She is a Certified SYMBIS (Save Your Marriage Before It Starts) Facilitator. The SYMBIS Assessment gives you a personalized road map to making your marriage everything it was meant to be. She is also a Certified Family Systems Engineering Practitioner. The Network of FSE Practitioners comprises professionals who work to restore dignity to human relationships in marriage, parenting and family life.
Modupe has varied experiences. She graduated with First Class Honours in Chemical Engineering from University of Ife (now Obafemi Awolowo University) in 1980. She then worked for with the Central Bank of Nigeria (Building and Engineering Services) for seventeen years before setting up a retail book business which she operated for thirteen years. She has served on the National Executive Committees of two business membership organisations Christian Booksellers Association Nigeria (CBAN) and NECA’ss Network of Entrepreneurial Women (NNEW). She is currently a member of the board of OASIS International, Publishers of the Africa Study Bible.
She mentors young people, helping them to chart their lives’ paths. She is also the Counsellor on the popular weekly Relationship and Marriage Show, Make We Talk Am on WaZoBia 95.1 FM Radio. She is happily married to Boniface, her husband of over thirty-four years, and together four lovely children. In her words “ I grew up in a family where relationships were considered really important”.
Childhood Preparation
I grew up in a family where relationships were considered really important. I was privileged to see my parents courageously addressing difficult issues with one another and with other family members. My mum in particular used every opportunity to teach us interpersonal skills and help us use these skills in practical ways. When I told my parents, I wanted to marry someone from a different ethnic group, my mother went out to make several inquiries about this group and the culture and practices. She shared her findings with me and took time to help me to understand the long term implications of what I wanted to do. Her goal wasn’t to frighten me. Rather she wanted me to go into my marriage with a full understanding of what an inter ethnic marriage involved.
I remember her saying, “When you go to the village, and your inlaws are speaking their language, don’t assume they’re gossiping about you. You don’t understand what they are saying.
Working in the banking sector for almost 2 decades and pitching my tent in the relationship management sector
I’m an engineer by training, so I can say I’ve had a lifelong interest in how things work, investigating causes and effects. I approached different phases of my life – marriage, parenting, career, friendships, faith – with curiosity as to what is required to succeed in each phase. At each point, I would do a lot of reading and research into these issues and come up with systems, structures and processes that I could use to build the fabric of relationships. In the society we live in, people tend to approach these things from an emotional or religious standpoint and while there is nothing wrong with that, I wanted to ensure I approached things from an intellectual standpoint as well. So even while I worked in the bank and across other sectors, I was simultaneously building capacity in managing relationships. But as I matured in age and had to optimize my time and energy, I decided to focus my effort on giving back and sharing all of the knowledge and experience I had gathered. And the relationship management sector was where I saw the most need and where I felt I could have the most impact.
Vital lessons from my 30 years plus marriage
Fundamentally, people are different. They have different origins, life experiences and exposure. Expectedly, perspectives on important issues are different. Conflict simply means that we have different perspectives on issues that are of significant value to both of us. It is important to always stand in your partner’s shoes and look at issues through their eyes so you can also understand their intentions and not just their actions. As our people say, there are many roads to the market. So the aim is not to insist that your partner takes the route you know, the aim is to ensure that you help them get to the market regardless. And when there is conflict, the aim should not be proving you are right to win arguments, but communicating patiently to ensure that both parties goals are aligned.
Being a Certified SYMBIS Facilitator, and its impact on marriages and domestic relationships
SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) is one of the tools Family Life Practitioners use in their work. It is a diagnostic tool that helps new couples flag and lower their risk factors and also helps them optimize their combined strengths as a couple. It does this by assessing everything from psychological wellbeing to revealing how their combined personalities can be leveraged for optimal success. As a SYMBIS Facilitator, I use the report generated from the assessment to guide couples through honest discussions in which they level their expectations of marriage and of themselves and come up with a personalised strategy for growing a healthy marital relationship. We also have the SYMBIS+ for couples who are already married but who want to improve their relationship.
Inspiration behind MOE Advisory Limited
Some six years ago, I observed that many people came to social media to seek guidance in dealing with various marriage and relationship issues. I was alarmed at the nature of advice that was shared without consideration for the total context of issues being treated. I thought that it wasn’t enough to complain and decided to set up a platform where such requests for guidance will be treated from a principle-based perspective. The online platform has now grown to over 11,000 members across 81 countries. Furthermore, I came to realise that a lot of the issues my members faced were not limited to conflict in marriage but rather a general lack of emotional intelligence in dealing with human relationships. So from then on I started providing advisory on relationship management beyond marriage, extending into the corporate space. I was privileged to work at the Central Bank of Nigeria for two decades so I have a wide range of corporate experience managing and being managed by people. I also channelled this experience to help my members navigate relationships with teammates, subordinates and superiors at work. My vision is to help build an emotionally intelligent workforce.
Challenges “New school” folks face when engaging with the older generation in the workplace and how can they manage it properly
Times have changed. Most people my age grew up, socialized, married and worked in the same communities with people who shared similar life experiences to them. With the new school, their reality is a lot more different. Their social experience is a lot more diverse and also a lot more digital. And because of that both parties often approach the same issues with very different perspectives informed. This often leads to conflict. To manage this properly, the new school workforce has to understand the social paradigms of the older generation and the limitations this imposes on them. They need to understand that, most of the time, the root cause of the perceived differences is more ignorance than spite. And then, they have to be proactive and consider ways they can bridge the gap from a position of empathy, to educate and interact with the older generation in an emotionally intelligent manner.
Being a relationship counsellor and social Entrepreneur
Getting people to understand that the other person isn’t always the problem. A lot of people are quick to see the problem in their colleagues actions but not self aware enough to see how they could react and communicate better in certain situations. I think this stems from our inability to be vulnerable, to look in the mirror and admit our shortcomings. Then beyond that, there’s the perception of shame that comes with seeking out help. So most people tend to take the easy way out, to pretend there is no issue while keeping up appearances. As a relationship counsellor, it becomes a challenge to solve problems that people aren’t willing to admit they have.
And as a social entrepreneur, the major challenge is the poor infrastructure. I offer personalised sessions to working class clients and so a lot of these sessions have to be held remotely via social media which may not be the most reliable due to electricity and internet shortcomings. Also, there’s the cultural problem where people don’t perceive advisory as something they should pay for because they are used to getting free counselling from church or family members. And even when people are willing to pay, there’s a limit to how a lot of clients can pay due to their low financial capacity.
On young people being informed on the purpose of building strong interpersonal relationships
No, I don’t think they are. In private and public spaces, personal conversations and mass media, we tend to speak more about the pains of unhealthy relationships. And while these pains are real and present dangers, there is little spoken about the real and present solutions to these problems. So young people begin to think that interpersonal relationships are problematic by default and synonymous with pain. I think these conversations should extend beyond the pains of relationships and instead explore the foundations of healthy relationships such as empathy, good communication, understanding boundaries and conflict resolution.
To the person experiencing Domestic Violence in Marriage
Firstly, I will reassure them that it is never their fault, then I will encourage them to get help. Personally, I believe not everyone is equipped with the resources to ascertain the risks and provide support to domestic violence victims. However, there are agencies such as the Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team, Project Alert, Media Concern for Women and Children Initiative (MEDIACON) and others who know how best to help trauma victims in whatever way they need it most. These organizations and others like them collaborate and work together. Once you reach one of them, they are able to connect you with their colleagues in your location. These are the sort of people I would direct a person who is experiencing Domestic Violence to get help from.
On the role the church should play in Marriage
This is an interesting question that comes up again and again. First marriage is not a Christian institution. It is a human institution. What this means is that there are marriages that do not take the Christian standards and perspectives as their guide. That said, the church has an important role to play. Encouraging and supporting church members to maintain genuinely healthy marital relationships that are models in the community is the primary role the church can play. This requires willingness to address dysfunction issues like adultery and abuse. If the church does this, such relationships will provide templates for community members to build their own marriages with.
Being a Woman of Rubies
I’m a Woman of Rubies because I recognise that I am uniquely created by God for the positions and roles I have in life. I’m constantly looking to let myself shine, regardless of the position I find myself or the age I reach. This means constantly learning, growing capacity and reinventing myself to meet the needs of those I look to impact and inspire.
For those who are afraid of marriage because of the high rate of separation and divorce
What you focus on grows. If you feed your mind with reports of marriage crises and fatalities, your mind will accept that as the only reality. However, if you feed your mind with reports of healthy and thriving marriages and follow it up with honest inquiry of what makes such marriages work, you will be rightly equipped to make your own relationship work. In The Right Fit Marriage Academy, an arm of MOE Advisory Limited, we have members of our community who experienced significant paradigm shifts and lost their fear of marriage as they did what I just advised. Today they are in healthy and happy marriages.
Being a mother is learning about strength you didn’t know you had, Motherhood is one of the most beautiful jobs in the world. Ibukun Omololu is not just a Mother, but one who is helping other Moms navigate through life life and helping them create work life balance.
A seasoned banker with over 11 years of professional experience. With expertise across critical areas such as Customer Service, Relationship Management, Strategic Sales and Marketing, Treasury Management and Compliance
At Sterling Bank Plc., Ibukun currently heads the One Woman proposition team, providing strategic oversight on the Women Banking Desk of the bank. She functions in adequate capacity, designing solutions tailored to the needs of the women customer segment, enabling access to financial services.
In celebration of International Women’s Day, Ibukun is launching a book to address some wrong beliefs about motherhood and parenting in general. A book she considers a gift to every Mother.
The beautiful banker and gender specialist who holds a B.A in Linguistics from the University of Ilorin is happily married to Adedayo Omololu, and they are blessed with two beautiful boys.
Ibukun shares her Inspiring journey, challenges of being a gender specialist in a society that is yet to fully recognise the role of women and why her book “Behind the little bundles of Joy” is a must have for every Mom in this insightful interview, in Celebration of International Women’s Day.
Childhood Influence
I was a happy free spirited and inquisitive child and the last in a family of 7. I often struggled with being the “girlchild” doing chores at home. It often baffled me when I saw my immediate elder brother relax in front of the TV while I had to go cook or wash plates. I often wondered what made him different from me. I think this sort of made me more inquisitive as I had lots of questions and would not follow the norm. It made me more open to challenge the status quo most times.
Impact of being a gender specialist on my Daytime Job
Being a gender specialist has exposed me to the challenges women face in Nigeria and by extension Africa. This is because we share similar cultures on gender bias. The impact has been negative and our aim at my organisation is to greatly change the narrative by supporting women in any way that we can. Women have been continually told to downplay their potential because they can’t have it all which is largely untrue. Being the Head of Sterling Bank “One woman” Initiative, I have been able push financial education, credit and other financial services that efficiently helps them get ahead. This is a huge way to serve their families and promote economic development especially through entrepreneurship.
My Book; Behind the Little bundles of Joy
I believe motherhood is such an incredible and beautiful gift, but it requires preparation. I have discovered that a lot of women are truly not prepared for it, and It’s easy to take the impact of childbirth for granted as it was in my case which caused a lot of conflict and challenges in my own marriage. The conflict was one part, I also struggled with postpartum depression, a period of infertility amongst other things. These are timely conversations with learning points that we should be having with more younger women. Writing this book is my own way of sharing my mistakes and lessons from my experience. I want single ladies/men, expecting parents and new parents to be able to put some thought into how they can make pregnancy or birth plan more enjoyable through inspiring, real and positive birth narratives. It is important that what is ordinarily a beautiful memorable experience does not become a dark and traumatic one for anybody.
Insightful nuggets from my book
I had to address some cultural myths and societal expectations like the following;
Do not have a child because society or parents place a demand on you for it.
Vaginal delivery and C-section are perfectly normal birth methods, and none is inferior to another.
Support structures starts first from your spouse and it is not demeaning for a man to take care of his baby
A house maid is different from a nanny and what to look out for when picking a nanny or creche.
Other Projects and Activities
Other projects include the financial literacy initiative for all women owned businesses and the fact that women need to know the importance of money and how to keep and save money for emergency, self-care and actualizing their dreams. Not spending their resources all the time even though most times, their expenses is for the family. A significant part of the “One-woman” proposition is about financial freedom for women and how they can be relevant for themselves and the community
Challenges of being a Social Entrepreneur
One of the main challenges is the fact that women have been told too many lies all in the name of culture and tradition so it’s sometimes difficult to help them see that their dreams are worth chasing. Women are not secondary or inferior and have the capacity to achieve so much more especially when the men are our advocates and supporters. We honestly need each other as we are utterly inter-dependent and complement one another. We need to find better ways to live, grow and work together because when the strengths of both women and men are harnessed, the results are better.
Being a busy banker with a very busy portfolio, an author, gender specialist and above all a wife and mom, and managing it all
Juggling my career with a family while trying to build a brand amidst other things has stretched me but I am grateful for solid support structures from my family especially my husband who is one of my biggest cheerleaders, I have a fantastic nanny who helps me with the kids on the home front and a great driver so I am not pulling my hair outrage when Lagos Danfo infuriates you. I also work with some of the best bosses and colleagues on the face of the earth, chief of all would be Toyin Bolajoko who is a big asset to my team and offers me reverse mentoring as well. Lastly nothing good comes easy, so I remain resilient in the midst of challenges.
Being a Woman of Rubies
Let’s just say I love God, I also love to see the best in people, so I have an open mind and I am never judgemental about anybody. I am an urbane person who value people and relationships
3 women who inspire me, In celebration of the Intl Women’s Day
My mother;She is an enigma of elegance, calmness, selflessness and love. I have watched her pour her life into us, her 5 children and every other child she gets a chance to love or nurture. She is the epitome of motherhood and I learnt how to love and value people from her. I can’t go anywhere and people who know my mum won’t stop asking after her.
Remi Owadokun;I don’t know how I can explain the amazon called Remi. She is selfless and genuinely wants to help people develop to be their best versions. She has inspired me, encouraged me, pushed me at some of my lowest moments and has refused to give up on me. This right here is the type of help every woman needs to do the impossible.
Temi Dalley; She is the Head of Human capital in my bank and one of the women who has given me my big break to lead the One Woman proposition. Temi is really passionate about raising more women leaders in the organisation. She encourages me to make the most of work without losing sight of what is important, getting ahead on the business, feeling good and not losing myself in the challenges on the job.
To new moms who need support to navigate motherhood and still thrive.
I guess congratulations are in order, I believe you are at your wits ends wondering how you got yourself into this. I believe you are doing an amazing job despite the fact that you are new to this, hang in there, you can do it. Please remember that your state of mind is also really important so get as much help and rest as possible. You also know that your little one is counting on your help and support to grow with your nurture, your love and your milk too, so take time to bond with your baby through it all, they grow up so fast so enjoy every moment you can and live a day at a time.
Lastly, go get a copy of my book even if it’s only because I asked you to, trust me it would be worth your while and just may save your marriage too.
Fedex has named its newest CEO and she’s Ramon Hood, a woman who began as a receptionist at the same company, the newest CEO at FedEx, is the first Black woman to take the lead in the company’s history.
The company announced Wednesday, February 26, that former VP of operations, strategy, and planning is now CEO, bringing more than 28 years of company experience to her role. She will be overseeing the Custom Critical division.
She started with the company as a receptionist in 1991 when the company was still called Roberts Express.
Reacting to becoming the company’s CEO, Hood said: “I wasn’t thinking this was going to be my career and I’d be here for 28 years. I was a young mother. I wanted a job that had a stable shift that would allow me to do (college) courses as appropriate.”
Over the years, Hood has been responsible for innovative ideas that made her stand out from her peers. She climbed up the ladder of success in the company from heading subsidiary FedEx Truckload Brokerage to obtaining an officer position at FedEx Supply Chain in 2016. She then returned to FedEx Custom Critical for an executive position. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Business Management from Walsh University and Executive MBA from Case Western Reserve University.
In the early days as CEO, Hood is looking to gain useful insight from employees, customers and independent contractors driving for Custom Critical. She has created her famous “Ramona Roundtables,” which she is wrapping up this month and involved her talking with small groups of employees.
“The next thing I’ll be doing is going out and spending time with customers and independent contractors,” Hood said. “I’m defining that as my ‘listen and learn tour.’ “She also mentions that under her leadership, Custom Critical will be agile in addressing customer needs and using technology, all while “looking at things in ways we haven’t in the past.”
A brief history of her Journey
She started out in 1991 as a receptionist for the company, which at the time was called Roberts Express. She has always shown great potential in leadership and through the years was given various roles in operations, safety, sales, and more. Along the way, she admitted having been “pretty intentional and purposeful with gaining experience” in the company.
Over time, Hood began offering innovative and strategic ideas that distinguished her from her peers. For example, she was the one who initiated the program that allows FedEx Custom Critical employees to work from home in the early 2000s. She said, “At that time, it was not common to have call centers where you would have individuals working from home. I looked at our processes and the technology that we had, and I realized nothing was preventing us from that.”
Hood has climbed up the ladder of success from heading subsidiary FedEx Truckload Brokerage before moving to an officer position at FedEx Supply Chain in 2016. She then returned to FedEx Custom Critical for an executive position, a full-circle move after being a receptionist there years ago.
She brings more than 28 years of FedEx experience to her role, and holds a Bachelor’s degree in Business Management from Walsh University, as well as an Executive MBA from Case Western Reserve University.
