Nigerian writer, Lesley Nneka wins the Caine prize for African writing for her short story, Skinned. Initially, this story was published in McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern (Issue 53).
Before the win, Arimah’s story had appeared on the shortlist for the third time on the Caine prize, and there is definitely no wonder why her amazing story won the prize.
According to a statement made by Caine Prize representatives;
“‘SKINNED’ ENVISIONS A SOCIETY IN WHICH YOUNG GIRLS ARE CEREMONIALLY ‘UNCOVERED’ AND MUST MARRY IN ORDER TO REGAIN THE RIGHT TO BE CLOTHED. IT TELLS THE STORY OF EJEM, A YOUNG WOMAN UNCOVERED AT THE AGE OF FIFTEEN YET ‘UNCLAIMED’ IN ADULTHOOD, AND HER ATTEMPTS TO NEGOTIATE A RIGIDLY STRATIFIED SOCIETY FOLLOWING THE BREAKDOWN OF A PROTECTIVE FRIENDSHIP WITH THE MARRIED CHIDINMA. WITH A WIT, PRESCIENCE, AND A WICKED IMAGINATION, ‘SKINNED’ IS A BOLD AND UNSETTLING TALE OF BODILY AUTONOMY AND WOMANHOOD, AND THE FAULT LINES ALONG WHICH SOLIDARITIES ARE FORMED AND BROKEN.”
Girls in developing countries must be protected from sexual violence in and around schools, the head of the UN’s children fund has said, urging governments to make it a top priority.
“We have a real responsibility to keep violence out of schools,” UNICEF chief Henrietta Fore says
Speaking to AFP on the sidelines of a G7 ministerial summit in Paris, UNICEF chief Henrietta Fore said keeping young girls safe was crucial to ensuring their education.
“We have a real responsibility to keep violence out of schools… by other students but also by their teachers,” she told AFP in an interview last week.
But sexual assault and violence was also affecting girls on their route to school and when they were going home, she said.
“In some countries in Africa, like South Africa where I was recently, some girls.. (suffer) sexual violence on their way to and from school,” she said.
And it is not an isolated phenomenon, with Human Rights Watch last year flagging up “high levels of sexual and gender-based violence” in Senegal where teachers were coercing girls into sex for money, gifts or good grades.
In 2015, the UN set targets aimed at ensuring equal opportunities and ending violence against women and girls by 2030, but last month, gender equality charity “Equal Measures 2030” said it was “failing to deliver”.
‘Girls can do anything’
Fore also stressed the importance of “a strong commitment” to the education of girls, particularly in places like the African Sahel, a vast area encompassing Burkina Faso, Chad, Mali, Mauritania and Nigeria which has been hit by jihadist violence.
“I am hoping they will stand up and make strong commitment (to) backing girls’ education, especially in places that are very hard, like in the Sahel: if girls get a chance there, they will get a chance everywhere.”
Girls, she said, were an enormous asset for the world at large.
“Often countries think it’s a lesser asset, but the power of young women in an economy is unmeasurable,” she said.
Some countries didn’t see the value in educating girls, but the numbers told a different story, she said.
“Girls can do anything.
“When women are streaming into the workplace, they are very good at their profession,” she said.
“If a government sees that women can become these brilliant innovators in their society, they will want more women to have a chance.”
The Paris summit grouped education and development ministers from wealthy G7 nations — Britain, Canada, Japan, France, Germany, Italy and the US — alongside their counterparts from the Sahel.
Argentina, Estonia, Singapore and Senegal also sent delegates.
Serena Williams will be paying $10,000 in fines, after damaging a Wimbledon tennis court during a pre-tourney practice session.
It was alleged that the American tennis star damaged the practice court at Wimbledon, after throwing her racket before the start of the tournament. The All England Club, the organization which hosts Wimbledon is said to take its grass courts seriously, however Serena won’t have to worry about the fine as she has already made $367,000 for making the quarterfinals.
The mother of one has won her first four matches so far at Wimbledon, losing only one set on her way to the quarterfinals. She also won her first mixed doubles match with Andy Murray in straight sets.
Antoinette “Toni” Harris, a 22-year old Black woman, is the First woman ever to attend college on a full football scholarship. She has overcome challenges brought about by her gender, build, what other people say, and even a fatal illness she was diagnosed with. In fact, she dreams of being the first woman to play in the NFL.
Harris, who was born and raised in Detroit, has always been a football fan since she was 4-years old. Even though she also liked cheerleading and track-and-field, she really enjoys football the most.
She started just watching her cousins play until she herself played football during grade school. Eventually, she entered the high school football team but with teammates who “weren’t really accepting,” it wasn’t easy at first.
“It took them some time to warm up to me,” Harris said in an interview with Blavity. “But once they did, they were loving, they were supportive — and eventually everybody else got on board.”
Harris, who was proclaimed the homecoming queen on her senior year, still had doubts with herself. Being younger and a lot smaller than male players didn’t stop her though. She realized she just has to learn to live with it.
“At the end of the day, I told myself, ‘I cannot allow myself to live in fear.’ You don’t really live if you live in fear,” she said.
Her bravery has been ultimately tested when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the age of 18. She lost half of her body weight and she went through remission later that year.
She continued with her dreams despite people telling her she couldn’t move from high school football to college. While enrolled at Golden West College, she entered East Los Angeles College to be able to play free safety with the community college team.
After two years in college football, she has received dozens of scholarship offers to play. Most recently, she marked history as the first woman to sign a letter of intent for a four-year college football scholarship. She accepted the scholarship with Central Methodist University to continue her studies and play football in the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics.
Moreover, Harris has also caught the attention of giant companies. In January, a Toyota advertisement featuring her with a RAV4 Hybrid was premiered in their Super Bowl commercial.
After college, Harris dreams of playing for her favorite team, the Seattle Seahawks, or “any other team in the NFL — as long as I got my chance,” she said. Additionally, she also plans on becoming a “homicide detective with a background in forensics.”
Briana Collins didn’t know she could wear braids on TV. The 26-year-old news anchor at Fox in Champaign, Illinois was tired of wearing straight hair and kowtowing to “industry standards” regarding hairstyles. In response, she took action.
“I’ve been in the TV industry for about four years now, so I’m still fairly new to the business. But one thing that I always wanted to do when I was in this industry was wear my braids,” she told TODAY Style. “Sometimes you just want to give your hair a break, or you’re tired of doing it every day.”
Inspired by Florida journalist AJ Walker, who posted photos of her braided hair, Collins asked her team if it was okay to wear braids. To her surprise, the network was supportive through the whole process.
“Fox Champaign has been 100 percent supportive of my choice. And it feels great to have management that approves of your choice to be different.”
While speaking toYahoo Lifestyle, the budding news anchor said that straight hair was the standard. Women of color working in the television news industry are not allowed to deviate from script.
“Curly or straight, in locks or natural or in braids” shouldn’t be a consideration, she told Yahoo.
Collins wanted to inspire other Black women who are often told their hairstyles were unprofessional. She shared photos on Facebook showing off her new do.
The anchor’s brave choice comes after several Black women around the country have taken bold strides in pushing back against racist bias against Black hair. Anchor Brittany Noble-Joneswrote a scathing essay calling out the industry and Atlanta 11 Alive Francesca Amiker wore faux locs in solidarity. As mentioned before, Walkerwore braids. There is a change in the air and Collins wants Black women to embrace it.
“Be yourself, the world will adjust,” she said. “Go through the proper channels and don’t feel like you don’t have options to take action against those who may have wronged you.”
Bisi Fayemi, wife of Ekiti state governor, Kayode Fayemi, says she is appalled by the number of women who have come out to shame and condenm wife of singer, Timi Dakolo, who recently accused the Senior Pastor of the Commonwealth of Zion Assembly COZA, Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo, of raping her when she was 17.
In an article she shared online, Mrs Fayemi says the culture of shaming rape victims and forcing them to silence their pain in Nigeria must stop. In her opinon, ”any adult who has a sexual relationship with a girl under the age of 18 is committing statutory rape, there is not such thing as consensual sex with a minor”.
Addressing the backlash Busola has received for speaking about the rape incident 20 years after, Mrs Fayemi wrote
”Over and over, supporters of the Pastor and some who claimed neutrality kept asking why Busola decided to speak up twenty years after the rape took place. Why is she speaking out now? Why did she not say something at the time? I could not believe some of the things people were saying, including those who ought to know better. Busola Dakolo and her husband Timi received unprecedented support for their bravery, the court of public opinion seems to be in their favour. However, I could not help but wonder how we got to where we are, a society blissfully unaware of the war that has been waged consistently on the bodies of women and girls from one generation to the next. Women don’t talk about what happened to them as girls or as adults because of the implications – shame, stigma, punishment, rejection. I am even more appalled at the number of women who have added their voices in the shaming of Busola. If you cannot say anything to support another woman in pain, say nothing. Keep quiet. If you are a fan of the accused Pastor, support him if you want, but you don’t have to call his accuser names.
Mrs Fayemi went on to share stories of how she was almost abused when she was a child and how her gut as a child and her mother’s immediate stand saved her from being a victim
When I was ten years old, my mother brought a male teenage relative to live with us to help around the house. His name was Sina. He slept on a mattress on the floor with my younger brother, while I was on the bed with one of my young Aunts. One night, before I fell asleep, I felt my bed covers being pulled. I pulled them back up. It happened again and I did the same thing. The third time, I allowed the covers to be pulled off totally to be sure I was not making a mistake. I sat up and asked Sina what he was doing. He said ‘nothing’. I stayed awake for most of the night. First thing in the morning, I went to tell my mother. She did not yell at me. She did not scream and call me a liar. By the time I got back from school, Sina was gone and we never saw him again. We never had any male relatives live with us after that.
When I was in secondary school and home for the holidays, I was around thirteen at the time, I told my father I wanted to learn how to swim. There was this young man who lived next door, he used to run errands for my father, we called him Brother Lai. My father asked Brother Lai to take me and my Aunt to Airport Hotel, Ikeja, to teach us how to swim. My first swimming lesson was my last. Brother Lai held me from behind, teaching me how to kick my feet under the water, while at the same time pressing himself against me and touching me inappropriately. When I asked him why he was doing that, he asked, ‘Can’t I play with you’? The next day, when he came around for us to go for the next lesson, I refused. I never told my parents what happened, I just mumbled something about not liking water. I was afraid of causing trouble. I did not want Brother Lai to be sent away on my account, the same way Sina was frog marched to the motor park by my mother. I did not want my parents to think I was in some way encouraging these men to be inappropriate towards me. So, I said nothing, and just stayed out of Brother Lai’s way. Brother Lai had never given any indication that he was anything other than a respected older brother figure. I was however literally placed in his hands and he saw an opportunity and took advantage of it. That is what predators do, they wait for opportunities to present themselves and then they abuse trust and innocence. With hindsight, I shudder at the naivety of my trusting parents. I however learnt to appreciate my mother’s response to my claims, it could have gone differently. What if my mother had not believed me? What if Brother Lai had come into our house and I had let him in, and he had proceeded to attack me in my own home?
Pastor Biodun has since stepped down as the senior pastor of COZA. Busola on her part has reported the case to the police.
Naspers, Africa’s most valuable company has appointed a new CEO making history in the process.
Phuthi Mahanyele-Dabengwa, 48, takes on the role and becomes the company’s first female and first black chief executive.
Her appointment follows a long streak of white, male CEOs leading the 104-year old company.
As CEO for the South Africa unit, Mahanyele-Dabengwa will lead its daily business activities and also manage the company’s long-held desire to make successful tech investment bets in Africa.
Mahanyele-Dabengwa will now lead Naspers’ drive for major African tech startup wins with a $314 million fund announced last October. She will also oversee Naspers Labs, a social impact and skills acquisition initiative for South Africa’s unemployed youth. Mahanyele-Dabengwa will report to Bob van Dijk, Group CEO of Naspers.
She’s been CEO of Shanduka Group (Pty) Ltd., a black-owned investment holding company started by South African President Cyril Ramaphosa. She’s also on the board of the Cyril Ramaphosa Foundation. In addition, she’s held board positions at companies including mobile operator Vodacom Group Ltd., miner Gold Fields Ltd. and airline company Comair Ltd.
Her education includes an economics degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey and an MBA from De Montfort University in the U.K.
“You need to have empathy for your husband’s failings.”
Many of the lies we’re told as wives treat men as if they need us to take responsibility for their walk with God, we need to help men with their “normal man issues” (ie lust), we have to treat them with kid gloves, we have to accept their emotional immaturity, and we have to behave perfectly or they just can’t help themselves from being “harsh” with us.
Why is it okay for Christian men to have fragile egos, to be out of control with their sexual lust, to be immature in their own relationships with God, to be emotionally clueless, and to have to be taken care of like children?
God doesn’t want men to stay in weak, fragile, immature emotional states, needing to be coddled. He also doesn’t want men who are cruel, abusive, petty, controlling, entitled and selfish. He wants men to grow up, take responsibility for themselves, love others selflessly, have self-control, be kind, compassionate and patient, and know Him deeply.
In a healthy marriage, both spouses support one another to follow God, but each person takes full responsibility for their choices, behaviors, maturity, and who they are as a person.
When a wife is expected to take on this responsibility for her husband, she is being told to carry a burden that’s not hers, and to participate in a belief system that limits his ability to grow into the man God created.
In addition, women are expected the carry the entire emotional load of the marriage and are held responsible for the emotional climate of the marriage.
What a disservice to men who are capable of so much more than is expected of them.
“It’s amazing to me how scriptures are thrown at us and we told we are not doing enough, all the while NOTHING is said to our husbands. When are these people confronting the husband with Bible about their behaviors?”
— Covert Abuse Survivor
This is part five of the series: Unraveling Spiritual Abuse and Lies Abused Christian Women Struggle With
Let’s take a look at some of the damaging rubbish covertly abused women have been told about their roles in their husband’s lives.
As we go through the following lies, remember to compare them against the 4 Cs:
The Character of God
The Consistency of what the rest of the Word says
The Context of the scripture in the book it’s in
Common Sense
YOU CAN SAVE HIM (HIS SPIRITUAL LIFE IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY)
I was told I needed to stay because I could be the one that leads my husband to God.
I was told ‘Maybe God put that toxic person in your life to help that person see the God in you.’ ~ Covert Abuse Survivors
Does anyone see the craziness here that most of the women who are being told these things are married to men who confess to be Christians? Why would a Christian man need to see God in his wife when he supposedly already has the Spirit of God in him?
But even with men who aren’t claiming to be Christians, God never calls a wife to sacrifice her life to help her husband “find God.” An abusive husband will not find God by being allowed to abuse. A wicked man needs to see his sin and his desperate need for God to change his evil and deceitful heart, not to be allowed to continue in his wickedness.
God has great love, mercy and grace for those who sin in ignorance, and this love will draw a repentant sinner to Him.
But abusers are not sinning in ignorance. They know what they are doing and continue to do so because they feel entitled. This type of prideful, wicked man needs to be brought to his knees before God, humbled, and shown that God hates what he’s doing.
The wife should never be sacrificed for a husband who is rejecting God in every way.
“So what about that Scripture in I Peter directed urging wives to attempt to ‘win’ their disobedient husbands? I would say that the Scripture references a man who is ‘disobedient to the word,’ which likely references an unbeliever. He is not described here as wicked. There is a huge difference. It also says, he ‘may’ be won; not ‘will.’ There is no promise there, only a hope, and if a husband turns, praise God! But what if this man is not merely disobedient, but evil? And what if he is not ‘won over?’ What if the man has no intention of changing and, in fact, appreciates the power he holds over his respectful, submissive wife?”
— Cindy Burrell
YOU NEED TO GIVE GOD TIME TO WORK IN HIS HEART
How long is enough? 1 year, 5 years, 20 years? 40 years? How long do they expect her to live in torment, be destroyed to her depths, live with chronic PTSD, and risk her health? How long are her kids expected to live in a home with abuse?
If he was seeking God as he should be (or pretends he is), nothing could prevent God from working in His heart. God answers genuine prayer for heart change, but someone who’s not truly seeking God will stand still, and no amount of time will help.
Do not cast your pearls before swine and do not give what is holy to dogs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn and tear you to pieces. (Matt 7:6)
People who say this are exalting the life of one wicked man over the lives of his family. Clearly, they value men more than women and children
“Jesus… didn’t go chasing after those unwilling to receive the gospel, but rather instructed the disciples to ‘shake the dust off their feet as a testimony’ against entire towns unwilling to receive His message, and our Lord Himself adjures us not to attempt to spiritually invest in or make ourselves spiritually vulnerable to the hard-hearted.”
— Cindy Burrell
YOU NEED TO PRAY HARDER, THEN GOD WILL BLESS YOU
What an arrogant assumption to make, that we aren’t praying hard enough or respecting our husbands. So often, abused women are treated like little girls who aren’t wise in their own spiritual walks and who are to blame for the abuse. It’s sexist and insulting.
No amount of prayer will overcome an abuser’s free will to resist God’s work in his life and remain abusive.
GOD SAYS WIVES MUST BE SUBMISSIVE
I was told that I wasn’t being submissive enough. ~ Covert Abuse Survivor
Submission will not stop an abuser from abusing. In fact, being more submissive to abuse will continue the abuse, not stop it. Only people who don’t care about the well-being of a woman will tell her to submit to abuse.
“Many foolish legalists teach that humble submission to a cruel, abusive spouse is somehow noble and godly, and presumes that the abuser is simply ignorant or needs our sympathy; that the abuser will be compelled to humble himself and change when confronted with their loyal spouse’s patient and unconditional love. What those same legalists either fail or refuse to recognize is that demanding a spouse to remain with an abuser only empowers him. He knows full well the way the Christian legalist system works and brazenly exploits it to accommodate his entitlement mentality and further the reach of his wickedness.”
— Cindy Burrell
Wives are not slaves to their husbands, required to submit to his will. When wives are told to submit, the rest of the scripture is being willfully ignored:
Submit one to another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph 5:21)
“The reality is that there are only a few Bible texts that focus on submission in marriage. One passage is in the Apostle Peter’s Epistle where he instructed a wife to be submissive to her husband (I Pet 3:1). Similar to the Ephesians passage on mutual submission, Bible interpreters often pay little attention when Peter stated ‘In the same way’ and ‘You husbands likewise.’”
— Tim and Annie Evans
When an abused wife is told to submit to her abuser, the husband is rarely also told to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Something’s rotten here, and it’s called sexism.
“Submission is not a straight jacket of mindless obedience; it is the freedom to serve the deepest needs of the other with all that we are. ”
In Part Six I will be discussing the patriarchal theology surrounding the man being the “head,” and submission in greater detail.
MEN NEED SEX SO YOU NEED TO GIVE HIM MORE SEX
I’ve been told, after saying that sex after he watches porn made me feel like a hooker, that I must love him unconditionally and submit to him in whatever he asks as long as I’m not sinning.
I was told I needed to have sex with him regardless of if I had reason to suspect his faithfulness, that if I ended up catching a disease from him, then at least I would have got it while doing the ‘loving’ thing. ~ Covert Abuse Survivors
This demeaning theology reduces men to nothing more than a physical creature with uncontrollable desires, and women to nothing more than an object to fulfill that lust.
Men are so much more than that, but their sexuality, as God created it, has been diminished and warped though pornography and the constant sexualization and objectification of women that they are inundated with their entire lives.
God created sex in a marriage as a reflection of intimacy, not as a physical act to satiate the need of the man.
If a man has so little respect for his wife that he is happy to use her for his own pleasure without even caring if she’s enjoying it, let alone if she’s emotionally safe, present and happily participating, he’s no better than an animal.
We were created higher than the animals and it’s time we held men to the same standard that God does. Come on, men, have some self-respect!!!
“When Christian teachers repeatedly and consistently say that all men lust and that temptation is normal, this paves the way for dysfunctional marriages and normalizes sexual sin. What do you think happens to men who are told that they have a need for physical release that their wives must provide, and that if they’re not given sex, it’s not men’s fault if they stray? You end up with men who feel entitled to sex and women who feel used.”
— Sheila Wray Gregoire
I know of husbands who haven’t had sex for over a year because their wives were healing from childhood sexual abuse trauma, and sex was scary and unsafe. How did these men do this? Because they LOVE their wives with sacrificial love and want the best for their wives.
Did they blowup and die from lack of sex? Nope. Did they have affairs because they felt entitled to sex? Of course not. Did their man-parts fall off? Nope.
They were just fine because they are loving men acting as God designed them to.
Did their marriage blossom because the wives felt deeply loved, cared for and respected? You bet. And this is what a loving marriage is meant to be– a relationship where both people are respecting and honoring each other.
YOU NEED TO LEARN TO KEEP THE PEACE
I was told that a Christian wife is supposed to assume the best and should forgive, forget, and move toward her husband for the sake of peace. ~ Covert Abuse Survivor
No wife can make her husband live at peace with her if he chooses to be abusive. Period. These kinds of lies show a lack of the most basic understanding of boundaries, abuse, and our inability to change another person. Unfortunately, this lack of understanding is common in Christianity and is used to blame victims.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Rom 12:8)
Wives are expected to be the ones to keep the peace to make up for the husband’s unwillingness to live peaceably. There are several ridiculous assumptions here:
it must be the wife’s fault he’s not being peaceable
a wife can actually change her husband
men must be incapable of living at peace if it’s up to the wife to do it (as if they’re some kind of animal that we have to tame)
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. (Mt 5:9)
The Word tells us to be peacemakers not peace keepers, and there’s a big difference. A peacemaker works actively to create peace where there is conflict. A peacekeeper avoids doing things that will disrupt peace, such as standing up for herself.
When abused women are told to be peace keepers, they are expected to be doormats and accept abuse. They are being told to deny their basic need for emotional safety.
An abused women usually needs to leave the abuser to be a true peacemaker for herself and her children, for there is no way to make peace with an abuser.
YOU NEED TO HAVE COMPASSION/ EMPATHY FOR YOUR HUSBAND’S FAILINGS
Abusing your wife is not a failing or a mistake. It’s a choice a husband makes to harm the wife who he’s supposed to love.
Our empathy and compassion are what’s kept us in the abuse for so long. Abusers are skilled at playing the victim and getting sympathy. They have been playing on our kindness and goodness for years to manipulate us.
Abusers don’t change from empathy, but our empathy prolongs their abuse.
We’ve spent years, if not decades, having compassion on our husbands and believing their excuses.
We’ve had compassion when they say they can’t help it, and believed them when they promise to change.
We’ve believed them when they’ve said we aren’t understanding enough, or are asking too much.
We’ve believed them when they’ve blamed us for their behavior.
In our empathy, we have minimized their abuse and its effects on us and our children.
It’s a terribly confusing thing to be told to have compassion for someone who is intentionally hurting us, and it makes no sense.
When someone knows that what they’re doing is hurting us, and they continue to do it anyway, what is there to feel empathy for?
We are being told to take the side of abuser against our own selves!!
When we can identify abuse as the betrayal of our love, heart, emotions, mind, and soul that it is–wickedness, as it’s called in the Bible– we’re walking in truth.
In the Bible, wickedness is not handled with compassion and empathy. It’s called out and removed from the church because of the damage that wolves do.
“Jesus did not treat all people the same. To the seeking and downtrodden, He offered hope, grace and healing. Yet, the arrogant legalists, those who put on a good show but whose hearts were hardened to the things of God, He very harshly condemned. When they tested Him or crossed Him, He was neither gentle nor accommodating toward them. He called them out for their hypocrisy.”
— Cindy Burrell
The most compassionate thing we can do for an abuser is to give severe consequence in the hopes that they’ll choose to repent.
BELIEVE THE BEST ABOUT HIM
Believing the best works when someone hurts you out of ignorance, or snaps at you because they’ve had bad day. When someone has shown themselves to be a loving person with your interests at heart, believing the best when they make a mistake is a loving thing to do.
But abusers don’t have their wives best interest at heart. They are manipulative and hurtful and there are no good intentions to believe in.
YOU NEED TO BE LIKE JESUS TO YOUR HUSBAND
When I was told I needed to be like Jesus to my husband, I wondered ‘Why doesn’t he be Jesus to me then?’ ~ Covert Abuse Survivor
When we’re told we need to be like Jesus, they’re referring to the loving, gracious, merciful Jesus who has forgiven us for our sins. But they also think of Jesus as a namby-pamby weakling who takes abuse and never says a word.
Jesus doesn’t turn a blind eye to sin and wickedness. He doesn’t offer grace to the abuser over justice and safety for the victim. Jesus came to free the abused and is vehemently opposed to oppression.
Being more like Jesus is great advice for a woman who is ready to stand against oppression, who is ready to grab some metaphorical whips and set some boundaries or walk away, but we know that’s not how it’s meant when this is being said to abused women.
TRUTH ABOUT WIVES
We are meant to be in loving relationships with our husbands. We are beautiful, strong capable, smart, wise women. We are loved by God. We are upheld by Jesus and seen as valuable and equal. Yet we are oppressed and held back, treated like children.
When God created wives (ezer kenegdo), he created a spouse for the man who is a strong and bold source of help in trouble, and a partner that will help him become all that God wants him to be. The Hebrew word ezer is a combination of two roots: `-z-r, meaning “to rescue, to save,” and g-z-r, meaning “to be strong.” In other passages, it is used to describe the Holy Spirit.
In a loving marriage with a man who will take responsibility for himself, our love, respect, truth and spiritual presence will be received. Our voice will be heard. Our feedback about our husband’s weaknesses will be appreciated.
We will be honored as the ezer kenegdo. We will grow with our husband into all Christ created us for.
Anything short of this is not God’s will for us.
I have worked with hundreds of abused women. I see that you are loving, caring, truthful, loyal, Godly, committed wives. You’ve worked hard, trying to make your marriages work for decades. You’ve sacrificed yourself for you marriage and children. You’re the kind of wife that any God-loving man would be blessed to have.
Yet you’ve been blamed, misunderstood, and betrayed for following God by rejecting abuse.
Every time one of you lovely, strong women is shunned and accused, the enemy kingdom rejoices, and the church– the very body of Christ– suffers.
But I know that you are strong, brave, warriors, and beautiful daughters of God.
And I also know that when you see Jesus face to face, He will say with tears, “Well done, good and faithful servant. It was never Me who rejected you. Come rest in My arms.”
If you’ve experienced covert psychological abuse and spiritual abuse, come join our private Facebook group for women of faith who are covert emotional and psychological abuse survivors.
W.TEC is now accepting applications for 2019 She Creates
Camp. The camp will hold in Lagos, Kwara and Anambra states from July –
September 2019.
The She Creates Camp is a W.TEC initiative designed to help
Nigerian secondary school girls (13 – 17 years) develop an early interest in
computer science, information technology, and related careers.
The She Creates Camp holds both residential and
non-residential camps across the nation with a mix of hands-on technology
workshops, career talks excursions and leadership exercises, which endeavors to
build strong, intelligent and focused young women, well-prepared for living and
working in an increasingly technology-driven world.
At the camps, we aim to mold young girls’ psyche, give them
a positive image of technology, related fields, and opportunities while
bridging the knowledge and skill gap between boys and girls in their career
paths.
Partners and supporters included are Google.org, Oracle,
SAGE Foundation, MainOne, Swift Networks Ltd, Kenneth Dike Memorial eLibrary
and Laureates College – Lagos.
Evaluations of previous camps show enhanced leadership
skills, creativity, problem-solving and communication abilities in our alumnae
as a result of attending the camp.
Putman Media, publisher of Chemical Processing, Control, Control Design, Food Processing, Pharma Manufacturing, Plant Services and Smart Industry magazines has announced the 2019 Class of Influential Women in Manufacturing. (See below for full list of honorees.)
The 27 women who join the ranks of IWIM this year are recognized for their change leadership in manufacturing—their risk-embracing work that serves to move the needle on asset management and reliability, digital transformation, workforce development, and other elements critical to ensuring the manufacturing industry’s readiness to meet the challenges of today and tomorrow.
Founder of STEMHub Foundation, who is also Senior Additives Manufacturing Engineer at Cummins Inc, Dr. Adeola Olubamiji is one of the Honorees on the List.
She wrote on her facebook page:
Happy Independence Day America – The American Dream
Part A:
It is with pleasure that I announce to you my beloved that I have been named one of the 27 INFLUENTIAL WOMEN IN MANUFACTURING in the USA for 2019: https://www.influentialwomeninmanufacturing.com/iwim-honorees-announcement-2019/
The 2019 Influential Women in Manufacturing honorees will be profiled in a dedicated e-book to be released by Putman Media in September and recognized in person at the 2019 IWIM awards luncheon, taking place Friday, Oct. 4 (Manufacturing Day) at MxD in Chicago.
Part B:
8 months ago, I moved to the USA in search of the “American Dream.” The last eight months has been the most challenging, the most promising and also the most rewarding period of my career. Although the American Dream hasn’t been achieved in full circle, I am thankful for the opportunity to yet again TRAIL-BLAZE in corporate America 🙏🏿.
My knowledge and experience is now making contributions to the advancement of digital manufacturing and Industry 4.0 at #Cummins and this has received the deserved credits: https://www.cummins.com/news/2019/03/07/cummins-takes-next-step-3d-printing-and-future-manufacturing
America, thank you for welcoming me, my blackness, my youthfulness and my multiple foreign degrees with open hands. I am indeed grateful for the career advancements, the accolades and the chance to thrive without boundaries.
I had a DREAM, I DESIGNED a plan, I put in the WORK, GOD provided a FERTILE ground, I took the calculated RISK and I hope you can see the RESULTS.
In this second quarter of 2019, I hope you will take at least one major risk and give it all you’ve got.
The 2019 Influential Women in Manufacturing honorees will be profiled in a dedicated e-book to be released by Putman Media in September and recognized in person at the 2019 IWIM awards luncheon, taking place Friday, Oct. 4 (Manufacturing Day) at MxD in Chicago.
See full List Of The 2019 Class of Influential Women in Manufacturing below:
