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self development

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Ameera Abraham is the CEO & Spa Director of The Nail Bar, a luxury nail spa and wellness centre and the founder of Nigeria’s premier professional nail care brand Amali Cosmetics. She is the author of “The Full Set” and also serves as the Director of Communications at the Spa and Wellness Association of Africa.

She is a qualified beauty therapist, holds a BA in Politics and International Relations and a CIBTAC Diploma in Spa Management.

Outside of her professional life, Ameera enjoys reading, yoga, volunteering and bonding with her children. She is an advocate of women and children’s rights & enlightening and empowering women in their various fields.

On what inspired her to start the nail spa 

The Nail Bar was first born out of passion but also a gap in the market, there was no nail spa at the time and I was eager to start a spa that would bring a professional and unique nail spa experience to Abuja. Amali Cosmetics, on the other hand, was born as a tool for education – particularly for fellow nail technicians – but also a non-toxic line of nail care for women of colour.

The market was littered with counterfeit brands of nail polish that were not only cheap but extremely harmful due to the toxic and unverifiable list of ingredients in them. I felt it was imperative to create a professional and high-quality local brand to counter those.

Ifeoma Uddoh is the Founder of Shecluded, a finance company providing women with access to financial growth services to help them achieve their goals. In December 2019, Uddoh was one of five female entrepreneurs to emerge as winners of a UK-Nigeria Tech Hub competition sponsored by the British High Commission in Lagos.

Ifeoma’s expertise lies in funding women, analytics, technology startups, and products. She has a master’s degree in management science and operations research from the University of Lancaster, UK. She has experience working with PricewaterhouseCoopers, iROKOtv, Wilkinson UK and Compex Africa.

With over 10 years of experience in Strategy and Consulting, she saw first-hand that women were notably absent from investment opportunities and from interacting with other financial services that could improve their lives, this motivated her to start Shecluded, with the sole aim f empowering women with funds and financial knowledge.

On what motivated her 

I lost my Dad at 9 years old so I was literally a product of grace and the amazing people that shaped me into this woman that I am, so I like to push myself to give back and as I get older I am conscious that the time is now. Then I love Jesus. I love thinking through and solving problems.

Advice to women on financial independence

There is so much on financial literacy like saving, investing, e.t.c and from a gender point of view, I usually want to give a response from my insight as a gender lens investor.

From the work we do in our wealth management arm at Shecluded, the best financial advice I have for women is  – have a growth mindset. If you have earned 100k as a receptionist for 3 years get angry and do something to change it. The same effort you put into changing your style to look updated, put that in your financial life. Many women need to increase their income to even be ready for the basic wealth roadmap. Invest in financial education and do what you have learnt.

 

“I’d rather have a cupboard full of herbs, than a closet full of heels”, says a popular Herb specialist. Herbs have many practical uses and because of this, they are highly favored by many. Herbs are usually small plants that are used for culinary and medicinal purposes although there are some herbs in use that come from trees and shrubs. The term herb or herbaceous plant refers only to the short-lived, non-woody plants even if they may bear seeds. Herbs are valued principally because of their aroma, flavor and medicinal property.

Herbs have been used by different cultures around the world for thousands of years. The pandemic also caused many to turn to herbs for healing. Ultimately, herbs and spices are an important part of our diet and our health.

Alatise Zainab Oluwatosin is a herbal practitioner, and healer. She is the founder and lead formulator of Ashabioge Herbal, a leading brand in the health and wellness industry in Nigeria.

The Ijebu Ode native obtained her national diploma from the prestigious Federal School of Statistics Ibadan campus.  After a personal health crisis in 2019, which led her to going back to her love of African herbs and roots, Zainab has been  committed to helping more people enjoy their life to the fullest using her tested and trusted 100% pure African herbs.

With her long family history of time tested and proven herbal formulations, which has been handed down for generations. Zainab is also currently enrolled in a world class institute for herbal formulations, in order to ensure that her brand meets with international best practices.

Ashabioge Herbal as a fast growing brand in the health and Sexual wellness industry has catered to people from all over the world, including but not limited to Dubai, the United Kingdom, Botswana, Canada, Chicago, Australia, Ghana, South Africa, and across the length and breadth of Nigeria with tangible results and accolades. The United Nations advocate for SDGs 3 – Good health and wellbeing, and 17- Partnership for the goals, shares her inspiring journey with Esther Ijewere in this exclusive interview.

Childhood Influence

Yes, I can say that my childhood prepared me for what I’m doing now.  I grew up with a large family, and I remember that a time, when I was about 6 or 7 years old, I fell sick for a long time, alongside 2 of my siblings.  We tried different options until my grandmother intervened and prepared something for us that was made from 100% herbs.

Since then, I have recommended that herb to different people, and it has worked for them everytime. That single incident made my family always resort to herbs which has been a huge blessing to us.

Ashabioge Herbal

I was inspired to start Ashabioge Herbal from the need to help others who were going through health challenges and were not seeing the results that they wanted. My desire is to help as many people as possible, improve their health, prevent needless health challenges and live a full and happy life with their loved ones.

Privilege of the herbal formulation passed down to me

Oh yes, I feel very humbled to have access to such wealth of health information that is helping people from all walks of life to live their life to the fullest in good health using 100% herbs from the African soil.

My products

Since 2018 when I officially started making herbal formulations, we have developed  10 products.  All our products are created  for one specific health challenge or the other. Few examples of our best seller formulations are; 1:Sabi men (for quick ejaculation, weak Erection, low Libido etc )2: Jedi ( for detoxification of excess sugar and toxins .)3: Herbal flusher (serves as general antibiotics for both male and female.) 4: hypertension tea ( The tea is formulated to cater for high blood pressure )

These products have sold in over 6 countries with hundreds of tangible results and testimonials from our esteemed customers.  This has made our customers free brand ambassadors who always recommend our products to their family and friends . Our vision at Ashabioge Herbal is to be a world class brand.

Institute of herbal formulations

In 2019, I actively started looking out for international training to help us realise our vision and the institute of Herbal Academy was recommended to me by a friend.  The aim of the institute I  is to help herbal formulators do better in formulation I am so happy that I went for the opportunity because our work has improved in the following areas; 1: Preservation, 2: Formulation  3: packaging

Challenges of my work

Logistics ( sending herbs to some countries from Nigeria is so difficult sometimes I have to first send to a particular country then move it from there to final destination this means I will get someone in the first country to collect for then send to final destination this is not free the person will charge me.Getting fresh herbs is so difficult too sometimes we have to use dried ones instead

Other projects and activities

Currently working on having some of my herbs in a capsule, tea bag and  hopefully our Jedi will be in CAN like a drink soon. Many people want to take herbs but they hate the bitter taste of some herbs so having such herbs in a capsule for people like that will be okay. Also many wants to drink there Jedi on the go that is why I will working JEDI soon

What I enjoy most about my job

Creating new recipe (I love it when I create new recipe for any health issues)

The women who Inspire me and why

My mum and my big sister Damilola Ewa. My mum has been so supportive even though at first she said must you do what your father does, why not get work with your certificate Tosin. People will fear you, this kind of business is not for a young woman like you and all sort but when she noticed I have not been going to hospital like I used to nor did I fall sick regularly like before she has been the one referring customers she taught me herbs her grandma thought her and her prayers has been working in my life and business

My sis Damilola, we met on Facebook she is a blessing despite being in the same business with me she kept showing me I have never seen a more beautiful soul than her and she is doing wonderfully well in the herbal industry too

To young women who want to go into the herbal business

They should get their formulation right and not just sell because everyone is selling herbs there is trend I noticed recently people sell because they see others selling which is very very wrong

Whatever business model you want to venture into, the first thing is to learn and research.

Changing the misconception and narrative about herbs

I use my platform to educate my audience on importance and uses of herbs I do advice them to also seek professional guidance not just use DIY (do it yourself) they see on the internet

What I wish to change In the Herbal sector

Make herbs accepted globally many people still believe herbs are not safe which is not true herbs is safe

Being a Woman of Rubies

I always look out for the girl child and educate the ones around on sex education I choose this topic because of what I have seen while growing up a lot of girls that we grew up together many young girls then under 17 got pregnant many of them did not even understand what sex is and the implications of having sex at a very tender age  .

Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children and Women of Rubies, put smiles on the faces of 100 seniors and vulnerable in Alimosho LGA and Makoko community with it’s Christmas Food Drive initiative. The project which was funded through the support of the public was a huge success.

The team went into the two communities to give food packages to the elderly in a bid to make them happy and feel loved.

Rubies Ink has been into advocacy, empowerment, and development projects since 2008, and runs multiple projects, empowerment workshops, trainings, campaigns, media advocacy, and women’s outreach programs centered around domestic violence, gender equality and women’s health.

They also organize the annual Walk against Rape campaign , celebrated over 1000 exceptional women through their womenofrubies.com platform, and raise funds online  for women and children in urgent need of medical and other support.

Speaking about the Christmas food drive for the aged, the founder of Rubies Ink, Esther Ijewere said;

“Old age is a blessing, we need to continuously make our seniors feel loved and appreciated. The pandemic has taught us to live in the moment and be intentionally kind, that’s one of the reasons we supported our seniors this festive season, In our bid to spread love and light. We appreciate our donors for their unwavering and continuous support over the years.”

The Project Coordinator, Michelle Inegbese said;

“This is what we love to do, supporting those in need, and putting smiles on faces. Our seniors deserve that and much more. We hope to do this more often”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can see more of Rubies Ink work on rubiesink.org and womenofrubies.com, and follow their social media handles; Facebook- Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children, Women of Rubies, Walkagainstrape. Instagram; @rubiesink, @womenofrubiesng, @walkagainstrape.Twitter; @rubiesinkng @womenofrubies and @walkagainstrape.

Repressed emotions refer to emotions that you unconsciously avoid. These differ from suppressed emotions, which are feelings you purposely avoid because you don’t know exactly how to deal with them.

When you realize that you are repressing your emotions, you have to take drastic measures to stop it for your emotional and physical health.

I have struggled with this for many years,  and it  got intense when life happened.

I look back at some of the challenges I dealt with silently this year, and wonder how I survived.

I was in between repressing and suppressing my emotions just to stay grounded.

I battled with arm injury for many months, was on strong medications, yet I put on a brave front.

At some point, I couldn’t sleep for  months as my pain kept me awake. I’d binge series on Netflix or  pace my apartment, just to get my mind off the pain. Sometimes I practice “Mindfulness” through meditation.

I was struggling with balancing my duty as a parent, working,  home schooling my daughters, and staying on top of things. I’d speak with folks and act “normal” even while I was breaking apart, drained and numb.

I have lived the past 11 months with repressed and suppressed emotions. Perhaps all of my almost 4 decades on mother earth.

I was encouraging people to stay positive, and telling them to keep faith, and keep pushing, yet I as dealing with my own physical pain that almost made me relapsed into depression, maybe I did and wish not to call it that.

I couldn’t lift the affected arm to say “Halleluyah” . Just giving a visual representation of how bad it was lol.

I was sleeping on one side for  months, couldn’t sleep on my back either, as my shoulder blade and back were badly affected.

Esther Ijewere – At the beach In June 2021 for “mindfullness” while battling with arm Injury

While dealing with my physical pain, I had other matters that threw me off balance; from breech of privacy,  Gmail account hacked, laptop bugged,  trespassing, and  attempted theft. Just to mention few…

I almost lost my mind, but for God, my commitment to his word and prayer, plus Therapy.

Through my pain I found a stronger purpose in Christ. I started praying better and objectively without season.

I even turned my prayer to conversations, like God was sitting right in front of me.

I can’t also downplay the role Physio-Therapy played in my healing journey.  Grateful to my Physio-Therapist (s). Two amazing humans who focused on my healing, and made sure I didn’t downplay the level of pain I was In. I guess they saw through my “Repressed emotions” approach. *Laughs*.

However, I had to also address my repressed emotions through therapy, on the count of separating spirituality from reality. I committed more time to Therapy.

I became  intentional with Therapy,  digging deep into my repressed emotions, and sharing some of my painful experiences with my Therapist (s).

What emotions are you repressing or afraid to confront?

How do those emotions affect your life ?

What measures are you taking to address those emotions?

What kind of emotions are you trying to repress? Anger, frustration, sadness, fear or disappointment?

Perhaps you grew up hearing things like:

  • “You don’t have any reason to be sad.”
  • “Calm down.”
  • “You should be grateful.”

Childhood trauma is one of the major causes of repressed emotions, and could lead to chronic illness if not addressed.

It’s not always easy to recognize when you’re dealing with emotional repression, and there’s no definitive test you can take.

If you do have repressed emotions, however, you might notice a few key signs. These signs might show up in your feelings or your behavior — both toward yourself and other people.

People with repressed emotions often have trouble naming and understanding their emotional experience; I do. This can make it tough to describe how you feel to others, but it also makes it difficult for you to recognize when certain aspects of your life aren’t serving your needs.

You might:

  • regularly feel numb or blank
  • feel nervous, low, or stressed a lot of the time, even if you aren’t sure why
  • have a tendency to forget things
  • experience unease or discomfort when other people tell you about their feelings
  • feel cheerful and calm most of the time because you never let your thoughts linger on anything significant or upsetting
  • feel distressed or irritated when someone asks you about your feelings

Emotional repression can affect your ability to:

  • talk about things that matter to you
  • build intimate relationships
  • understand how other people feel
  • encourage of praise yourself

You might also notice that you:

  • go along with situations instead of expressing what you really want and need – I’m guilty of this one.
  • use  TV, social media, or other activities to help you numb and avoid feelings you don’t want to explore
  • spend most of your time with other people to avoid being alone
  • exhibit passive-aggressive behaviors to deal with situations that upset you

If you have trouble expressing or regulating your emotions, talking to a mental health professional is a good first step. A therapist can help you explore potential causes of repressed emotions and offer guidance and support as you begin to address these reasons.

Therapy also provides a safe space to:

  • work on naming and understanding your feelings
  • increase your comfort level around talking about emotions
  • learn more helpful methods of emotional regulation

What worked for me?

  • Using “I” statements. Expressing my feelings with phrases like; “I feel confused. I feel nervous. I feel terrified.”
  • Focus on the positive. I do this through therapy and positive affirmations, using the “I statements”. I often say things like; “I am healed”, “I am whole”, “I am resilient”, “I am a magnet for light and love”, “I am winning at life”, “I am highly favoured by the divine”, “I am at peace”, “I have will-power”, “I am fine”….You can choose what resonates with your situation or midframe.
  • Let go of judgement. No matter what emotion I am feeling , I am learning to avoid  judging  myself I   shouldn’t feel a certain way. Instead, I try finding a reason for the feeling: “I feel nervous because I just read something that triggered me”. “I am afraid because I don’t feel safe”. etc
  • Make it a habit.  I name  and share my emotions with the people I feel closest to, and encourage them to share their feelings, too. That way I create balance.

Above all, I take therapy seriously.

I am still on a journey of healing, and releasing baggages and things that no longer serve me.

I hope you find comfort in my article and confront your repressed emotions before the end of the year.

You can also read my article on Understanding the Impact of Trauma Here  

Sending love, light and peace to anyone on this journey of releasing repressed emotions.

You are not alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At least since I became a single parent.

Once again, we have proof that there is reward for hard work. And Dr. Joy Adesina is that proof. Just recently, she was rewarded for her excellence at the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ife, Osun State.

She coveted 9 awards and 10 distinctions in Medicine. What makes this so amazing is it is the best result in the history of the Faculty at Obafemi Awolowo University.

Dr. Joy Adesina excelled in various subjects

  • Best overall result in the M.B.Ch.B degree examination
  • Best overall Performance in the Faculty of Clinical Sciences
  • Best student in Medicine and Medical Specialties in Part 111 MBChB degree examination
  • Best overall student in the Bachelor of Medicine and Surgery (MBChB) Final Examination in the Faculty of Clinical Science
  • Best student with the best overall performance in the first professional examination

 

 

She acquired distinctions in Surgery, Community Health, Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Paediatrics and Child Health, Dermatology, Mental Health, Pharmacology, Anatomy, Biochemistry, Physiology in the best graduating student in Physiology in the second MBChB Examination, the student with the best result in the final M.B.Ch. B degree examination in Paediatrics.

 

Also, she got the Paediatric Association of Nigeria Prize for the student with the best result in the final M.B.Ch. B degree examination in Paediatrics and the Professor O Taiwo Memorial Prize to the student with the highest mark in clinical examination in the final MB.Ch.B examination in Paediatrics.

Ruqoyah Ogunbiyi  has a degree in pharmacy and a master’s degree in child and adolescent mental health.

Today she is a child and adolescent mental health professional and founder of Sane Mind,a child mental health organization providing accessible mental wellness solutions for African Children.

Over the past six years, Ruqoyah has built her expertise in child mental health designing interventions that promote mental wellness in children and address academic, behavioral, and emotional challenges children go through. She has trained over 5000 parents, teachers, and corporate professionals on different aspects of mental health.

Through her organization, she has consulted for over 100 families on confidence building, family therapy, and child psychotherapy.

Ruqoyah has a degree in pharmacy and a Masters degree in child and adolescent mental health from Africa’s premier Centre for Child and Adolescent Mental Health where she finished among the top 3 in her class.

She’s been featured in The Guardian, The Nation, LTV and Arise TV. She is also one of UNICEF’s mental health experts.

Thanks for keeping the environment safe and sane. We celebrate you.

Oluwakemi Adesina is co-founder and director of Zadok Foods, a company strategically located in Lagos, the economic capital of Nigeria. The ever increasing demand for food and the growth of choice among Nigeria’s emergent middle-class has found Oluwakemi positioning her company at the intersection that assures Zadok Foods a sizable market share, and that’s what’s happening by the day.

With a B. Sc (Hons) in Economics from Olabisi Onabanjo University in 2004 and participation in Fate Foundation’s Aspiring Entrepreneurs Programme in 2011, Oluwakemi has developed the foundational skills that have so far distinguished her as an astute entrepreneur.

Prior to founding her company, she had a combined 10 years of experience in the waste management and environmental protection sectors working across different roles including project manager, client relation officer, and personal assistant to the General Manager. She also had two intense years of work experience in the FMCG, Real Estate, and Retail sectors as a Business Development Manager. Her stints in these sectors gave her much-needed insight into the products and services market and this has proven valuable in her other undertakings which include a foray into the agricultural space within the last 3 years.

Oluwakemi Adesina is recognized as a maverick. Her independence in thought has helped her to chart unusual paths for herself as a consultant to SMEs and a female entrepreneur. A consummate future trends watcher, she has consulted for diverse establishments with pinpoint accuracy on plans and projections for their new business development endeavors.

She has been actively involved in volunteer work with various organizations, taught climate change in schools, and presently leads Nathaniel Albert Foundation, a non-profit that works to empower women and children economically and educationally.

We celebrate you, Oluwakemi

 

 

I try to stay away from sensitive issues to avoid triggers, sadly I can’t sit this Sylvester Oromoni issue out.

The 12-year-old who was killed at Dowen College by his seniors for allegedly refusing to join a cult group

My motherhood hormones won’t let me turn the other cheek on this case.

His dad’s account of the situation as revealed in the interview with Punch is heart wrenching 💔

They tortured and de-humanized Sylvester Oromoni.

Nobody should be treated that way.

Poor boy, he would have wished someone teleported and saved him from those wicked humans.

I have not been myself since I watched that video, it re-opened old wounds, especially when I was falsely accused of theft in the University & tortured.

I know I have shared that story many times, but it’s a part of my life that killed & awakened another part of me.

The torture & humiliation – I can’t forget.

Torture could make you wish for de.a.th.

The chants of “Oju ole re” as me and my friends took the walk of shame to the shrine we were taken forcefully to prove our innocence….

The look of disgust from onlookers as we walked down to Ijebu Igbo road….

I repressed my emotions for years, and blamed myself instead for following my friends to Bisoye’s apartment in Oru, Awa -Ijebu, that year.

From the moment I confronted my repressed emotions, I became overly ⚠️ cautious when I visit people & my threshold of pain doubled up.

I thought I was some hero for many years because I’d rather keep silent than confront situations, even when I was unhappy. I”d woman up…

I didn’t go for therapy…nothing.

Just went about my life till the wound re-opened after another episode of violence & psychological abuse.

I’m shaking writing this…no worries I’m good.

When I have the courage to confront situations, I become empathetic almost immediately.

I had a safety concern at home the other day, and instead of calling the police immediately, I focused on my luck of getting out of the situation.

I felt pity for the human who could have hurt me.

It shouldn’t be so, but it was a denial and numbing stage I’ve gotten used to.

I went about my day, and woke up at 5.37am, processed what had happened the previous day, and realized I should have called the police immediately.

I should have gotten this human arrested, she could have hurt me badly if she had a sharp object.

Self-blame kicked in again.

Trauma & Torture can mess your whole system up, no matter how many therapy sessions you go for.

Let’s not even talk about the PTSD jab that puts you in fear and flight mode constantly.

You are easily startled and frightened.

The pain lives rent free in your head.

You may experience very strong feelings of anxiety, sadness every now and then.

You are healed, but the reality of being human or hearing other people’s story triggers you.

You don’t want to be grateful at the expense of another person’s pain too. Perhaps that’s what I feel towards Sylvester’s death.

I have experienced other forms of pain in life, even worse than the false theft accusation, but that experience is hard to forget.

Perhaps it’s the residue of the torture, and the reality that those boys could have killed us, and made it look like an accident.

The sight of armful objects they kept as last resort if we didn’t confess.

All for what? N22k gold chain.

They were cult boys too.

I wish I slapped the day light out of Bisoye when she begged after we were vindicated, but I just wanted to go to our hostel, and get away from the humiliation.

They said I should always wish her well, but Karma won’t. That’s on what goes around.

Perhaps I need to document this in a book for closure.

For those asking us to take it easy on the boys who killed Sylvester, I hope you never experience what that little boy suffered.

I pray your kids never find themselves in that kind of situation.

I pray your kids never experience bullying and torture.

I hope they are not hiding their experience from you, because you don’t pay attention to them.

I pray you never lose a child 🙏🏿

I pray you don’t raise bullies who would become menace to the society.

Don’t ever judge a pain you’ve not experienced.

There are many people living with different childhood traumas, experienced at school or their home.

Some of us have mastered masking our pain just to look the part society demands, even when we are standing with our broken parts.

Justice must be served! Not just for Sylvester alone, but to encourage silent victims of bullying in our schools to speak up and break the silence.

I said I was “good” at the beginning of this write up, I’m triggered actually, but I’d check in with my therapist.

Therapy….I’d address on another post.

I just had to get this off my chest 😩.

May Sylvester’s soul rest in peace 🙏🏿 🕊

#Justiceforsylvester #dowencollege

The federal government as part of its conditional cash transfer programme (CCT) has started the payment of N1.6 billion to 167,000 poor and vulnerable women in Jigawa.

The CCT programme requires that beneficiaries meet certain criteria like enrolling their children in public schools and getting regular check-ups at the hospital.

Mustafa Yakubu, the Training and Communication Officer, State Cash Transfer Unit (SCTU), made this known to journalists on Saturday in Kiyawa, Jigawa State.

Speaking after monitoring the exercise at Andaza and Shuwarin villages of Kiyawa LGA, he said the funds were disbursed to beneficiaries via Fund and Electronic Transfer Solution (FETS Wallet) engaged by the National Cash Transfer Office.

He explained that the payment was for the months of May and June and that each beneficiary got N10,000.

“In Jigawa, we have not less than 167,000 beneficiaries in the 27 local government areas. For all components of the programme, we are paying not less than N1.6 billion every two months,” Mr Yakubu said.

He said there was a need for the process to be more ICT-savvy, adding, “The application of ICT will remove the need for beneficiaries to gather in one place to collect the money.

“This will help in curtailing insecurity issues surrounding the process and help the financial education of the beneficiaries.

“Higher deployment of ICT will also help other business activities like the POS service and the observance of social distancing protocol of COVID-19,” he said.

According to him, SCTU also conducts coaching and mentoring for the beneficiaries on how best to utilise the money, particularly in investments.

“Some beneficiaries are already into one petty business or the other. So we train and advise them on how best to use the money in their businesses and trades.

“Some of them formed cap-making groups, some formed cooperative groups, while others engage in small scale businesses,” Mr Yakubu added.

(NAN)