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Missy Elliott is one of the hardest working entertainers in the game, but there was a time when it seemed more like the game was working on her, both mentally, physically, and emotionally. On a recent episode of Sway in the Morning, the 48 year-old-artist opened up about why she ultimately had to step away from the industry to continue to effectively walk in her purpose.

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To Missy, her time away from the music game acted as a catalyst for self-care in her personal life, and she recommends that no matter what line of work you’re in, you take time to take care of you, first, sis: The entertainer, who just came off of a 14-year hiatus with the release of her EP, Iconology, said that in the past, her struggle with Graves’ disease affected her career in a major way, even most recently during her recent performance at the VMAs

The singer recently told Angie Martinez that only hours before her show, she was rushed to the hospital because she couldn’t breathe. Despite her condition, Missy says she took some cough syrup and did the damn thing: Missy, who’s been open about her health struggles in the past, said that it was for this reason that she decided to bring her music career to a halt in the first place. The Virginia-born star first revealed her diagnosis with Graves’ in 2011 after she almost crashed a car due to muscle spasms.

She explained that at one point, her disease got so severe that she couldn’t even pick up a pen to do what she loved anymore:Despite Missy’s absence from the game, she’s back like she never left, but that didn’t come without some well-needed time for self, proving that it pays to take care of you, the world can wait.

Source: Hzeppfeed

Why do we often   blame situations or other people when you don’t reach our targets?

Perhaps you are are the one  holding yourself  back from achieving success or, if you possibly limit your results because of what you believe?

Limiting beliefs have a way of creeping up on us; they reveal themselves in different ways. Even if we think our beliefs all support us, a limiting belief can often rear its ugly head just when we least expect it and completely stop us in our tracks or make things feel harder than they actually could be.

What is  a Belief in this context you may ask?

It  is simply a feeling of certainty about what something means. The reason it can feel so certain is because it’s a story we have been telling ourselves throughout our lives unconsciously looking for proof of its truth. We find plenty of proof because that’s what we are looking for and, the more proof we find, the more certain we feel. This means we can either create more potential, or more limitation depending on what the belief actually is

Here are  5 of the most common self-limiting beliefs you need to be aware of and some practical tips to assist you to move through them

1. I Can’t

This is one of the most limiting beliefs you can imagine, because it gives no opportunity of you being able to do what you are telling yourself you can’t. The more you repeat this statement, the more you begin to believe it. Your unconscious mind is always listening and it responds to what you are telling it. Some people have even described this response as physically feeling blocked.

Even if you are just using this phrase to excuse yourself from doing something for someone else, then find another way of saying it, for example “I am unable to do that for you right now”.

There is no such thing as, “I can’t” and this is because you always have a choice. You can do anything you set your mind to and even if you don’t have the skills yet, then you have the ability to learn those skills. If you truly believe you can’t at the moment, then add the word “yet” to the end of your statement to create more potential.

  1. I Don’t Have Time

When you repeatedly say the same thing, you start to believe it and this means you will never find the time to do what you want. Holding on to this belief can keep you stuck for years.

When you start to see time as it really is which is just a social construct, you empower yourself to create a belief that works for you instead of against you. There is a simple and practical way you can do this:

Making a few simple tweaks in your own behavior, you will notice that you “always have enough time”, it’s just your choice as to how you use it, and you can begin to nurture that new belief.

3. I Am Not Good Enough

This is probably the most fundamentally limiting belief and it’s one that most of us can attest to having been at the mercy of at some point in our life.

We are always good enough and that’s the reason why we are here. We are good enough for each person, situation and opportunity that presents itself. Yet at some point in our life when our safety and certainty was threatened, we chose to believe that wasn’t true.

Because of this experience and what we decided to believe, we run patterns of behavior that are designed to protect us. When we are about to do something that will stretch our capabilities, we have a little voice that warns us of danger and tells us we can’t do it or we shouldn’t do it. This means we can often get in our own way and miss out on those opportunities, relationships and situations that can help us achieve what we want.

4.  I Will Be Judged

We can often hold ourselves back from doing new things because we are afraid other people will judge us and see us as lacking in some way. Remember, we often focus on our fear; and the more we focus on this, we will see more examples of people judging us.

You have no control over what others think or feel and most of the time, they don’t think anything about you at all. They are more concerned with what they think or feel about themselves, just like you are.

If you feel judged by other people, it’s more often than not just a reflection you see of your own thoughts and judgments about yourself

When fear of judgment comes up for you, ask yourself “Where am I judging myself right now?” Remind yourself that no matter what outcome you get, just the fact that you are showing up and giving things a go means you are always more than good enough, and that deserves acknowledgment.

  1. I Am Not as Good as Them

This is a self-limiting belief based on comparison. When we compare ourselves with others, it can really freeze us in our tracks.

This very limiting belief has become more prevalent since the upward surge of social media. It can cause us to waste precious energy, feeling we don’t have what it takes.

If you find yourself comparing and feeling emotions like jealousy, loss of confidence, annoyance or self-consciousness, then you can bet your bottom dollar this belief is playing out unconsciously.

Remind yourself that we are all different. This means we all have unique personalities, a range of different strengths and natural talents. It also means we all have different traits that require development. No one does everything perfectly and this is why we can all easily compliment each other in different ways.

There is no less than or more than, there is just difference. Just because they do it differently to you, doesn’t mean you are not as good as them; it just means you are unique and that is a good thing.

The Bottom Line

Identifying and acknowledging your self-limiting beliefs is the first step in taking back your own power. Blame can keep you stuck for years and over time erodes your self-esteem and can even cause you to go backwards.

True sustainable success is achieved from the inside out, by making the choice to work on your own belief system. It’s vital you weed out any beliefs that are limiting you in any way. This is the way to true empowerment and success, where you will open up your full potential and over time you will notice your life will become limitless.

Source: Lifehacks

Publisher, Betty Irabor, who has battled depression and attempted suicide in the past, shared a thoughtful piece on her Instagram page on Sunday.

In her write-up, the 63-year-old appealed to anyone suffering depression to seek help and deal with the root cause of their hollowness. According to Irabor, getting married, pregnant or buying material things, would not make them feel any better when the root cause of their depression hasn’t been dealt with. She wrote;

I was about 12 when I first saw a Rolls Royce. It’s owner was a guest of mum. Did I show off on that day? I earned renewed respect in the hood on Akinwunmi street.. well at least for few days! Sigh!! Yesterday I took the liberty of posing by this vintage monster of a ride In Warri. Na pose I pose o, I didn’t say it’s mine before you people will come for me!!

I remember thinking while in the throes of depression that as soon as my new ride arrived I would feel better. I didn’t feel better. And that’s how it goes on; when I get married I will feel better, when I am rich I will feel better, when I have children I will feel better, when I get that designer bag I will feel better, when I move into my new house I will feel better.

Truth is, things or people don’t make us feel better until we fix the cancer within and own up to the fact that we feel hollow within and need help. We carry around burdens and pains that we need to offload so we can travel light. We cannot fake true happiness, it expires as soon as we are alone and the reality of what we are masking hits us. We can lie to the world about how well we are on the outside but we can’t deceive our selves…
Life is about finding joy in little abundance and trusting that our current situation is only a part of our long journey….This present challenge is only a comma in a sentence and not the full stop…

Focus on what truly counts and live one day at a time. Most of us dont have it all figured out… na packaging…

Don’t give up on yourself, believe in endless possibilities and don’t focus on what could have been…

This is your time, make it count.

Credit: LIB

At exactly 10:42pm on 8th of March 2017, I wrote “Heaven I need a Hug” on my wall , perhaps I needed a hug considering the fact that I have several back logs and I was stressed at the time, but beyond that I wanted to see how people will respond , I wasn’t disappointed with the number of e-hugs I received within thirty minutes BUT two friends had to slide to my inbox and asked me to put down the post, one said it showed too much emotions and the other said “you are too strong to be perceived like a weak woman Esther , bring it down its not good for your brand”. Wetin concern personal brand with emotions ogini?

This is exactly the reason why people suffer and die in silence , imagine if all the people who committed suicide recently  put up a post similar to mine just to let people know they need help and get  such response from their friends?

Please let’s allow people express themselves on social media the way and manner they like, as a matter of fact I want to encourage anyone who is down, depressed or about to give it all up , put up a post and let’s know what you are going through , sometimes the closet people to us are our biggest problem and you cant tell your problem to a problem, it’s fine to seek help on Facebook or any other social media platform or other direct means.

Feel free to write messages such as :

“I am Depressed”
“I need help”
“I need to talk to someone ”
“Please help”
“I need a therapist”
“I need a counsellor ”
Etc etc etc

Just express yourself however you feel and I am sure someone out there will reach out to you. I am positive we have good people who truly care in Nigeria, all you need to reach them is to SPEAK UP!

I have been down that road before, and it’s not just being depressed because life happened or stress, I was in my world, the over analysing and over thinking stage where you feel living isn’t worth it anymore,  and I don’t pray to ever go there again, I was in self denial of my state of mind till a true friend who didn’t judge me asked that I seek help from a therapist . I am a survivor, no shame at all, and a proud Mental health advocate for She Writes Woman

If you need to talk to someone about your problems please reach out to the following people: Hauwa Ojeifo, Oyinkansola Alabi, Praise Fowowe , Laila St. Matthew-Daniel, Pamela Udoka.

I have a listening ear , I will give you a hug, give you my time and attention, walk you through the process but sadly I can’t offer you the professional help you need like the above mentioned persons. Please don’t die in silence , reach out, SPEAK UP and don’t let depression and suicide win.

Kindly add names of other therapist in the comment section ???.

Please seek help….

You are not alone…..

For Variety’s 2019 #PowerOfWomen: New York issue, Variety profiled Taraji P. Henson who shared how she’s working to eradicate mental health stigmas in black communities.

She says, “We’re walking around broken, wounded and hurt, and we don’t think it’s OK to talk about it. We don’t talk about it at home. It’s shunned. It’s something that makes you look weak. We’re told to pray it away. We’re told to pray it away. Everyone was always asking me, ‘Do you have a charity?’ Well, dammit, this is going to be my calling, because I’m sick of this. People are killing themselves. People are numbing out on drugs. Not everything is fixed with a pill.”

Taraji opened up about her own depression and anxiety, and how she handles it.

In order to get a grip on her depression, Taraji P. Henson stepped back from social media and started regularly seeing a therapist: “I suffer from depression. My anxiety is kicking up, even more, every day, and I’ve never really dealt with anxiety like that. It’s something new.”

Singer and Fashion Designer, Mocheddah once revealed that she battled with clinical depression. She has now launched her very own mental health platform called “Just be Brave NG”.

She says:

My name is @mocheddah
I was diagnosed with clinical depression over 7 years ago .
I have come a long way with the help of my faith , therapy and medication.
I have developed a deep passion for spreading awareness on all things mental health …
This is a fun , open , no secret page , no judgements platform.
we also have in house therapists that can help answer questions.
we are a group of BRAVE magical individuals.
Welcome to “Just Be Brave NG”

According to Mo’Cheddah:

@justbebraveng is my new baby .
It’s my mental health freedom page .
I found so much freedom when I came clean about my clinical depression,
I want so many other people to feel that freedom as well.. To live without fear.
To own our wounds
To forgive ourselves.
Am I scared ? A little
Am I nervous ? yes
Am I excited? Absofreakinlutely

Find out more about the platform here.

 

Credit: Bella Naija

From being some of the happiest people on earth, Nigerians have slumped to the rank of the most depressed in Africa. This was the conclusion contained in the latest figures released by the World Health Organisation (WHO), which show that Nigeria has 7,079,815 sufferers of depression, that is 3.9 per cent of the population.Also, 4,894,557 Nigerians, that is 2.7 per cent of the population, suffer anxiety disorders. The country is closely followed by Ethiopia with 4,480,113 sufferers, that is 4.7 per cent of her population; Democratic Republic of Congo with 2,871,309 sufferers (3.8 per cent); South Africa with 2,402,230 sufferers (4.6 per cent); and Tanzania with 2,138,939 sufferers, that is 4.1 per cent. Seychelles has the lowest number of depressed persons with just 3,722 that is 4.0 per cent.

Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide, and a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease, according to WHO. Depression can lead to suicide, which is the second leading cause of death in 15 – 29-year- olds globally. Consequently, the condition can lead to more suicide cases in the country.

In the African region, close to 30 million people suffer from depression.

The global body gave the figures in a report released ahead of the World Health Day (WHD) today titled “Depression and Other Common Mental Disorders: Global Health Estimates.”

WHD, celebrated on April 7 every year to mark the anniversary of the founding of WHO, provides a unique opportunity to mobilise action around a specific health topic of concern to people all over the world. The theme of 2017 World Health Day campaign is depression.

According to the WHO report, depressive disorders and anxiety disorders are two main diagnostic categories of common mental disorders that are highly prevalent in the population.

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems.

The WHO noted that at a global level, over 300 million people are estimated to suffer from depression, equivalent to 4.4 per cent of the world’s population and nearly that number again suffers from a range of anxiety disorders. It, however, noted that since many people experience both conditions simultaneously (comorbidity), it is inappropriate to simply add these two figures together to arrive at a total for common mental disorders.

The WHO noted that the consequences of these disorders in terms of lost health are huge.

Depression is ranked by WHO as the single largest contributor to global disability (7.5 per cent of all years lived with disability in 2015); anxiety disorders are ranked 6th (3.4 per cent).

According to the global health agency, depression is also the major contributor to suicide deaths (about 800 000 per year).

Why are Nigerians most depressed in Africa? “The number of persons with common mental disorders globally is going up, particularly in lower-income countries, because the population is growing and more people are living to the age when depression and anxiety most commonly occurs,” the WHO explained.

Who is most likely to get depressed? “Although depression can and does affect people of all ages, from all walks of life, the risk of becoming depressed is increased by poverty, unemployment, life events such as the death of a loved one or a relationship break-up, physical illness and problems caused by alcohol and drug use,” the WHO noted.

To address the issues of depression and anxiety disorders, the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH) has introduced LUTH-Suicide Research and Prevention Initiative (SURPIN) and its “ONE 1 MORE DAY” campaign aimed at reducing suicide deaths.

Consultant Psychiatrist and LUTH-SURPIN Coordinator, Dr. Raphael E. Ogbolu, told The Guardian yesterday: “SURPIN has hotlines (09080217555, 09034400009, 08111909909, 07013811143) through which members of the public seeking help can reach us. The main target groups are those at risk of suicide and are contemplating an attempt, those who have survived an attempted suicide and therefore may be in critical physical condition, and those who are bereaved by the suicide of a family member, because they themselves also then become at risk.”

According to the WHO, the health condition affects people of all ages, from all walks of life, in all countries. It causes mental anguish and impacts on people’s ability to carry out even the simplest everyday tasks, with sometimes devastating consequences for relationships with family and friends and the ability to earn a living. At worst, depression can lead to suicide, now the second leading cause of death among 15-29-year-olds.

Yet, the condition can be prevented and treated. A better understanding of what depression is, and how it can be prevented and treated, will help reduce the stigma and lead to more people seeking help.

 

Credit: Guardian

Dancer Kaffy has taken to her Instagram page to encourage everyone and anyone battling depression.

She revealed that she has battled depression and she won.

She wrote:

Please DO NOT BE PRESSURED . A lot is a lie . A lot is a manifestation of what they want to be . A lot is from insecurities.A lot is from depression not all smiley faces are happy faces.
Depression is real too many lives lost .
I faced depression I battled it and I won . You can win . First thing to do is not to let people define your happiness. We all have our races ,our paths are different ,first to do no mean last man standing o. If anyone run past u ,do better than you or have anything u want and don’t have , just wave and say “I will catch up” see ya later”. Your process is important don’t be in a hurry if u do you would lose the ammunition, the instruments u need to sustain the greatness and happiness you pursue.
#kaffynodeylookyatime#kaffygoneedyadime

View this post on Instagram

Please DO NOT BE PRESSURED . A lot is a lie . A lot is a manifestation of what they want to be . A lot is from insecurities.A lot is from depression not all smiley faces are happy faces. Depression is real too many lives lost . I faced depression I battled it and I won . You can win . First thing to do is not to let people define your happiness. We all have our races ,our paths are different ,first to do no mean last man standing o. If anyone run past u ,do better than you or have anything u want and don’t have , just wave and say “I will catch up” see ya later”. Your process is important don’t be in a hurry if u do you would lose the ammunition, the instruments u need to sustain the greatness and happiness you pursue. #kaffynodeylookyatime #kaffygoneedyadime

A post shared by Kafayat Shafau-Ameh (@kaffydance) on 

During a Q&A interactive session

with Women Of Rubies, Emotions Doctor, Oyinkansola Alabi, shed more light into depression, its symptoms, and cure.

She said:

*Depression feeds on rumination and a pre-occupation with self. It can also progress from a state of cluelessness, hopelessness, depression, suicidal thoughts and then suicide.

*Social media has amplified insecurity and esteem issues. However, social media is a double edged sword. You decide its cause and effects. It can either empower or disempower you based on your
relationship with it.

*Anger isn’t equal to depression. You can control anger by deploying a tool called the PAUSE THERAPY. Always pause before you speak, while you speak, and after speaking to be sure you just made sense. Practice this pause therapy for at least six seconds daily.

*Quite a number of depressed souls are aware. However, you can slide
into depression without knowing. You can become unhappy, discont,
clueless, or hopeless.
*Stay away from disempowering thoughts. The truth is, we are all
STORYTELLERS and our life responds or reacts in the direction of our
stories, internal communication, internal representations and
conversations within.
*Understand that happiness is intrinsic not extrinsic. If we depend on
external interference as a source of happiness, we may never be happy.
26-year-old Hauwa Ojeifo has won in the first edition of MTV Europe Music Awards’ ‘Generation Change’ category.

The award ceremony is currently going on at the Bilbao Exhibition Center, in Bilbao, Spain.

Miss Ojeifo who was selected among four others was however missed on the red carpet, as she could not secure a Schengen Visa from the Spanish embassy in Nigeria to embark on the trip.

Her award category was presented during the MTV EMA red carpet pre-show.

The award aims to elevate and empower the fearless, original young people who are changing the world.

Ojeifo was selected alongside a 21-year old Afghanistan, Sonita Alizadeh; 17 year old Lebanese, Mohamad Aljounde; 20 year old Briton, Ellen Jones and an 18 year old Xiuhtezcatl “X” Martinez.

 

 

Credit: thenationonline