Women of Rubies
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#INTERVIEW| “JOBLESSNESS INSPIRED ME TO BE A SHOEMAKER”

Raufu Aishat, Female Shoemaker
Raufu Ayowunmi Aishat is a young, focused female shoemaker. After graduating from the university and was jobless, she went to acquire skills in shoe making. Ever since, she hasn’t looked back, and she is proud of her profession and waxing strong. Aishat is the CEO and Creative Director of Aeesha Shoes, her shoe-making company.In this interview with Women Of Rubies, Aishat talks about some of the challenges she has faced, as a female shoemaker.

Childhood
As a kid, I always wanted to become a professional banker, but while growing up, I wasn’t pleased with the profession anymore. Being a shoemaker was developed out of joblessness. While on long holiday from school, I had always wanted to learn a skill and make-up artistry was what I loved and wanted to do, but my cousin advised that I did something else. So, I went through the skill acquisition list and ticked shoe making, considering the fact that I love shoes. And that was how I went from basic to advance, and from advance to being a shoemaker.

Meet Me
I am from a family of six. I’m from Irepolodun Local Government Area in Kwara State, but born and bred in Lagos. I am 24 years old. I studied Public Administration in the university. I started my business, Aeesha Shoes, five and half years ago.

Inspiration
Hmmm, joblessness inspired me to be a shoemaker. I never would have thought I would ever become a shoemaker, if I were not jobless. More so, my love for shoes kept me in the business. At first, I was doing it for the money, but I got to realise my love for shoes was more than the money I was making from the business.

Motivation
Clients, individuals, friends, and family’s words of encouragement motivate me to do more. My love for leather also does. Whenever I see a piece of leather in the market, the next thing that comes to my mind is what I can produce with it.

Other projects and activities
Very soon, I intend training school kids on how to make shoes. It’s going to be conducted during the summer class and it’s going to be few days training on the basics of shoe making. Also, I’m looking at bringing in machines from Italy and China to further assist the brand in the production of shoes.

The industry is daily growing wider, and we are still making shoes with our hands. I think we should have gone further than that. If we had machines, we would be able to perfect what we do and be able to produce more, in terms of quality, quantity, and perfection.

On giving up
I had given up several times, but salary jobs usually pushed me back. In between running the business, I did some salary jobs. But anytime my boss messed me up at work, I would resign and pick up my business again. It happened like thrice before I finally settled down to my business.

Challenges
One of the major challenges is getting an investor. It amazes me that in this generation of ours, some people will tell you that they don’t or cannot invest in a shoemaker because she is a woman or they cannot invest in you because you refuse to sleep with them. Another major challenge is clients. There are some understanding clients and there are some that choose not to understand.

Greatest reward
Encouragement and positive clients’ feed backs. Those are my greatest reward in the business. I love seeing my clients smile and happy after collecting their products.

Nigerians reactions to women in male-dominated fields. Nigerians are now accepting and respecting women in male dominated fields. You needed to see the way people hold me in high esteem, when I showcase what I produce or when I introduce myself as a female shoemaker, at a gathering. That is the part of the profession that I love the most (laughs)

I Am A Woman Of Rubies
I am young, creative, and I inspire people.

Final words of advice
Be consistent in everything you do and be your best because that is what will take you places.

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#INTERVIEW| “ALL I WANT IS FOR MY CHILDREN TO TURN OUT BETTER THAN ME’’

Mary Okagbare, popularly known as Mama Esther, is a food seller at Nepa Bush Akangba, Adelabu, Surulere, Lagos. She became the sole breadwinner of her family after her husband got sick and moved down to the village. While struggling hard to provide for her three children and husband, that didn’t stop her from taking in her sibling’s child into her home and take care of him. Even when her shop got demolished by the government, she didn’t give up; she forged on. Today, Mama Esther has succeeded in training two of her children to the university level and they are now graduates; one of her children studied Accountancy, while the other studied Physics. Even though they are yet to be employed, Mama Esther still keeps an optimistic spirit that things will soon be better for her children, and she is still working hard to take care of them.
In this interview with Women of Rubies, Mama Esther talk about how life has been for her as a sole breadwinner, and her prayers for her children.

The Beginning
I started selling rice twenty years ago , two years after I had my last child. I became the breadwinner of my family a year after my marriage in1987 after I had my first child, with the way things were very hard and difficult I realized my husband cannot do it alone, I mean he cannot give our children a better future with the way he changes job almost every month with no good income coming in because he was a driver, So I started hawking plantain which I stopped after I had my second child. Then, I looked for a small space where I started selling Garri, Groundnut, Sugar and Ice-water in nylon. I fully became the sole breadwinner of the family after my husband got sick and had to move down to the village.

Motivation
It was never easy, there were times I felt so down and tired but then, the good dreams and better future I wanted for my children kept me going. I will say my children motivate me, all I ever wanted was for them to be better than me and have bright future, and I won’t rest until I help them achieve their dreams. May God help me.

Demolished Shop
It was like the world was crushing down on me, it was as if I was sinking, my heart almost stopped beating, I cried all night to the extent I lost my voice I couldn’t speak for days, my children were so worried and scared thinking they will lost me.
It was also the year my second child got admission into Lagos State University, so because of that I put myself together and went to the company where I was selling right in front of their building, before the demolition took place. I pleaded with them and God used two security men, they gave me a space at the back inside the company it was like a bush I don’t really know how to describe the place but I cleared the bush and put a canopy and started managing the place till now.

On giving up
Oh yes, I felt like giving up on several occasions. I knew my children depend on me and I know God is counting on me to take care of them, so I forge on. Like I said earlier, the place I was given to manage was so difficult to describe and hard for customers to notice. I lost most of my old customers and so it was so hard for me to sell even a Derica cup of rice a day because the place was so inside and no new customers were coming in. It was really hard and I really felt like giving up because I seriously needed money for my son’s school fee but the Grace and Mercy of God saw me through.

Being a mother of graduates
I give God all the glory; I am so happy and thankful to Him. My main prayer for them right now, is for them to get good jobs. I am sad because they are still unemployed but I won’t stop working hard to provide for their needs until they get jobs. I won’t stop crying and praying to God to provide jobs for them because they are wonderful children.
I’m also praying for them to be happy and to have bright future. I don’t want them to go through difficulties and hardships in life anymore so I’m earnestly praying to God to make them comfortable so they don’t suffer anymore.

Challenges
There have been lots of challenges but the grace and mercy of God has been there for me.
There was a time that I was seriously sick for two years and I had to be taken to my village for special care but to the Glory and Mercy of God, I am still alive today.

I Am A Woman Of Rubies
Believing in myself as a woman and a mother,that I have to be strong, hardworking, resourceful, tolerant, patient, reliable and confident, makes me a woman of Rubies.

Words of advice for mothers and women
My advice to women and mothers out there is to believe in their selves. Move closer to God, work hard and don’t ever give up. God blessed you with your children because he trusts you to take care of them. Take care of them because it is your responsibility, and not because you are expecting rewards from them. Thank you Women of Rubies for wanting to hear my story. May God help you to continue the good work.

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#INTERVIEW| “I GET A LOT OF PATRONAGE AS A FEMALE PAINTER” -SOLARIN YETUNDE

Solarin Yetunde is a Painter and an Interior decorator. Despite the fact that she is a graduate with a second-class upper degree in Business Administration, She decided to turn her childhood hobby- painting and wall decoration, into a career. She started Yetoonz Touch, and is currently making a living as a painter.
She talks about how she cope in a male-dominated profession, with Women of rubies in this Interview

Childhood
I remembered that when i was a little younger than this, I used to trace and cut out colourful pictures from books, magazines, newspaper and display them on the walls. I also did cut out different shapes from card boards, paper craft and also drew pictures and made story with them. However, I still do them now but in a professional manner.

Meet Me
My name is Solarin Yetunde. I hail from Ogun State, Sagamu local government precisely and I am the last born of Solarin family. I attended Charlton nursery and primary school and did my secondary academics at Topmost College while my first degree in Business Administration was attained in Olabisi Onabanjo University Ogun state. I graduated with second class upper division. I observed my NYSC with Oyo State Ministry of Trade Investment and Cooperative in 2015. I am a certified member of Project management, I hold a certificate of Association of Accounting Technician and I am a student of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN).

How I discovered my passion for painting and interior decoration
I discovered it during my NYSC days as an extension of my childhood adventure.Every time that I was bored I decorated the four walls of my room and I got lots of encomium from friends and loved ones. From then, I knew I could be better and blossom professionally.

Inspiration behind Yetoonz Touch Paintings
The inspiration behind Yetoonz Touch Paintings is solely from GOD with the confidence that I have in myself that I can do anything through JESUS that strengthens me.

Other projects and activities
Apart from the fact that we paint houses, we also design schools, children rooms, studios, hotels, hostels and shops. Others projects are wall canvas designs which will soon be displayed all over as well as pending training for intending painters .

Challenges faced
There is no person that has gotten to the top without trials. There are times I thought I could not survive on the job largely dominated by men, and when there are no jobs to be done I feel frustrated and bored. Also, I was largely frustrated with my search for white collar job too. Nevertheless, encouragement from my family and friends has kept me stronger as the day go by. They are the best gifts in my life. In all, I have learn through it and came out with the conclusion that when GOD is for me nothing, and no man can be against me.

Reward(s) for what I do
To be truthful, there are no great rewards with man. Only GOD can bless one indeed. No matter, the cash or materials one receives for an activity one will never be satisfied. Nevertheless, the encouragement that I have received from my family and fiancé has kept me stronger as the day goes by. They are the best gifts i have ever received.

My view on gender inequality in men-dominated workforceI believe, Nigerians are growing and showing compassion to women in men-dominated works. Apart from the quality of my job, which speaks volume. I get a lot of patronage because of the fact that I am a woman thriving in the job designed for men.

I Am A Woman Of Rubies
The extra-ordinary passion, hard-work and doggedness to take up a men-dominated profession is more than being a Woman of Rubies.

Words of advice to women
My words to women are that; in this present age, women have a lot of scripts to write therefore, don’t fold your arms. The book of Ecclesiastes 9 verse 10 says, whatsoever your hands find to do, do it with all your might, for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave whither thou goest.

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#INTERVIEW| “I WILL DO MY BEST AND GIVE HOPE TO CHILDREN WITH DOWN SYNDROME”

Adetola Makinde, Founder; Mo Rainbow Foundation

Adetola Makinde is a B.Sc. holder in Business Management from Usman Danfodio University. She is the founder of Mo Rainbow Foundation and Mo Rainbow Down syndrome Ability Centre, which are both non-profit organisations. She left her banking career to be a full-time mom, after she gave birth and her daughter was diagnosed with the Down syndrome.

In this interview with Women Of Rubies, Adetola Makinde shares a touching and inspiring story of how her life changed after her daughter, Moyinoluwa, came into the world with Down syndrome, and the inspiration behind Mo Rainbow Foundation.

Growing Up
As the first child of my parents, I’ve always been saddled with the responsibility of taking care of my siblings and being a good example to them. I grew up in a family, where cousins and relatives came on holidays or resided with us. I’ve lost count of the number of people my parents trained and supported from childhood through school and work, up until they got married. My parents were very accommodating and they taught me how to be content and responsible. They are great givers and all these formed a greater part of my core values, as I grew up being a giver, who also loves making people happy.

More About Me
My name is Adetola Makinde. Some people I’ve known for over three decades call me Sola. I love to be called TM. In my primary school days, I remember secretly coveting the name ‘Precious,’ as I used to wonder why my parents did not give me an English name. I am from Ikare-Akoko in Ondo State and the first of three children. I started my education with Stee international School, (popularly known as Subuola Nursery and Primary School back in1978). I attended FGGC Bida for a while before crossing over to Federal Government Girls College, Shagamu, in Ogun State. I later obtained a B.Sc. in Business Management from Usman Danfodio University, Sokoto.

My first job was with the United Bank of Africa Plc, and I worked in the corporate banking sector, and five other branches of this great organisation for 11 years, until I had my daughter in 2011.

Resigning from Banking Career to Follow Her Passion
I figured God was trying to change my career path, even though I loved working in the banking sector. God in heaven must have said, “Hey girl, it is time to move unto a greater assignment.” So, it happened that I had my baby in 2011 and about five days later, she was diagnosed with Down syndrome. This of course came as a rude shock and instead of resuming after my maternity leave, I tendered my resignation letter. I was about to dance to a different type of music, one people don’t like dancing, which is caring for my daughter. I had a prior knowledge and exposure to the condition and I knew I would not be able to cope with the responsibilities at work, as I had been given a higher role to play. I was just too sure that “returning to work would not work for me”.

I had prayed to have a baby girl and my prayers were answered in a miraculous way that has now birthed a purpose for my life. My little bundle, which initially caused me pain, had God’s purpose for my life, wrapped in that pain which has now turned to passion. For the life of me, I couldn’t believe my career would come to an end, but who am I to complain? It was a very tough decision coupled with sleepless nights, heart racing moments because of fear of the unknown. I had to be brave and just sacrifice for my children, more so, it hit home and I had to start running around to ensure my daughter had all the medical help and therapy that would save her life. God was there for me and I just could still see through a window how merciful and faithful He still is through my pain. I knew I was faced with a herculean task of caring for a vulnerable child, who is a blessing in disguise. I knew the benefits my baby would derive from early support. The first three years in the life of children, especially those with additional needs are very crucial and I told myself I would give my baby all the best care and support that I could and leave the rest for God.

Inspiration behind Mo Rainbow Foundation
The name Mo is Moyin’s nickname and the Rainbow was a name God gave me. We had put in another name and followed up with CAC to conclude the search, but the name was not approved because the whole process lasted longer than three months. One very cold morning, before daybreak, I woke up to use the bathroom and I heard a voice saying, “Look up, what do you see in the sky?” While I was still trying to think, I heard the answer “Rainbow”. I was transfixed and immediately sent a text to my lawyer and in two weeks, the name Moyinoluwa Rainbow Foundation was released and approved. The rainbow signifies hope and God’s promise, after the flood that destroyed the earth. It gives our children hope to live again. The fact that you have a child with a certain form of additional needs is not the end of the world. There is life after a Down syndrome diagnosis; it’s not the end of the world.

The inspiration behind Mo Rainbow began after my initial frustration of not getting early intervention. God gave me this vision one day in my living room, after Moyin turned three and I could only look back and appreciate God even more, as we had moved from struggles (with feeding, crawling, standing, walking, talking, heart surgery) to success. I met a two-year-old boy in church, who had never had any form of intervention and this tore me apart. That night, as I sat on my bed, folding my clothes, I heard a voice saying, “now you see you’re not alone. Go out and minister to these children. Be the light, be the solution, show and share the benefits of early intervention and all I’ve exposed you to”.

That night, I wept like a baby, knowing I was about to go through a path I never imagined. I followed up with the little boy, and today, Victor has turned four and with care and constant therapy, he is happy and improving gradually. This vision was confirmed by two people close to my heart, whom I never discussed my vision with at the early state, as I wanted clarity on this matter without prejudice.

The short of it is that I was blessed to have had help with early intervention from when Moyin was two weeks old, as I would be in the room with her till 1pm every day, trying to understand her body, features and help her with various exercises and oral motor massages. Frankly, I never cared about scornful looks, as I had keyed into early intervention and wouldn’t let go. My grits was eventually passed on to Moyin, as she became a fighter with every passing day. She learnt to be confident with the support friends and family daily gave her.

On Family Support
Well, all through this journey, my husband supported me. He was and is still there for us all. Our little Mo gives him so much joy. It was also with his consent that I left my job, as we both knew that working in the bank would divide my attention in caring for our daughter.

My Reaction on Being a Recipient of the Wise Women Awards
The award given to me is called “THE TURNAROUND AWARD”. I was overwhelmed with joy and that quickly ministered to me that finding purpose is fulfilling, and focusing on your vision over ambition is rewarding. I really appreciate Pastor Mrs. Majorie Esomowei, the founder, the wise Women international, Wise women Awards UK and Nigeria, for creating this wonderful platform. I believe your ministry does not have to be in church before God blesses you. He simply makes provision for every vision. I appreciate everyone supporting us, following us on social media channels and watching us. It’s a life changing experience for me.

Other Projects and Activities
We are on a rescue mission and I find it heart wrenching, when I discover that a child has not had the relevant support from birth, because of our weak support system. The story I hear is always either the parent has refused to seek the right help, kept the child at home and prevented him or her from mingling with others, has taken their child from one mountain to another seeking for deliverance with some voodooist or wishing the child away or dead.

Due to the high rate of ignorance of this condition, we have had a 5km walk for Down syndrome, where over 100 people came out to step for Down syndrome, creating awareness in Amuwoodofin Local Government Area. Our open-house party was to create awareness in the media and around our community. We have had “CANDID TALK ON DOWN SYNDROME,” where we invite parents to come and learn how to support their children/wards because it involves a back-to-back intervention. We also invite caregivers and therapists to learn how to support any child in their care. Sharing ideas helps us to take the right steps, when faced with difficult times with the child. It helps us to be pro-active.

We would frequently gather parents to enable them have Skype sessions and physical sessions with our consultants. We would also be partnering with Star of Hope Transformation Foundation, a foundation that turns ‘Trash into Treasure,” the Down syndrome foundation of Nigeria and other organisations that would project our work with children living with Down syndrome. Presently, Breakforth Women Outreach (Nigeria and Ireland), Women of faith Foundation (UK), LOJ logistics (NIG), Africa’s Unforgotten Angels (USA), SoksesJewelery (UK), Adoke resources (Nig.), are partnering with us in various ways and we are still hopeful for more partnership and support from other organisations and individuals. I will do my best to give hope to children faced with this condition. Not being much of tech savvy, I have found myself creating awareness on various social media platforms about this cause and God has brought many friends our way all over the world via these channels, though we are yet to get our first support from any organisation.

On Whether Nigerians are Compassionate Enough to Children with Down Syndrome
We are far from it. I once posted my daughter’s picture on Instagram and received a derogatory comment I had to delete. I wept that day, because it made me realise people’s ignorance and it made me more determined to advocate for every child and adult living with Down syndrome. Something good will come of them, because they are made in God’s image and likeness. Down Syndrome can visit any family, but it’s what you do with it that matters. I will keep fighting for inclusion for our children and there is no looking back. The society needs to understand that advocates of all forms of disability in Nigeria need them to listen and contribute their quota, as much as they can. I see our children living happily without any form of stigma or name-calling. One of our objectives is to ensure the on-going stigmatisation children face is stopped.

I Am A Woman Of Rubies
I believe answering this call has paved a way for a bright future for children living with this life-long condition. I am fulfilled, because families that are angry with God or the child, thinking He is angry with them can now realise they are wrong.  When at the end of each day I see parents showing more love to their child, I know I can sleep with both eyes closed, because through me, a strong bond has been built between them and the child is sure of their total support.

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#INTERVIEW| “I USE PROFIT MADE FROM SELLING AKARA TO GIVE MY CHILDREN GOOD EDUCATION”

A true mother is one who sacrifices for her children, a caregiver who does whatever it takes to put a smile on the faces of her children. In a world where true motherhood is becoming a rarity, Mrs. Mary Amedigni is an exception.

Mary Amedigni is an “Akara seller” and mother of three, her second daughter Tonia is a member of the National Youths Service Corp who recently posted a picture of herself and her mum on social media. In the picture, she is dressed in the NYSC uniform while her mother cuddled up to her .The picture was taken on Lewis street in Lagos where she sells and it has since gone viral.

In this interview with Women of Rubies, Mrs. Amedigni shares her inspirational story. It will trigger your emotions.

The Beginning
The major motivation that made me start this business is basically for the wellbeing of my children. I started 16 years ago because I want the best for them. I want them to have the BEST education. I don’t want my children to lay behind among their peers. In order to achieve this, I sacrificed things like buying clothes, jewelries, going to parties and other earthy/material things to make sure the major profits of my business goes to securing the best future for my children, and also making them comfortable. My husband is an audio & visual technician. He also manages studio and camera coverage.Motivation
My children gives me joy the most, they are the real source of my joy and happiness especially when I see them shining. My children give me joy for many reasons, they are obedient and they listen to the various teaching I give to them.

Challenges
The challenges I face since I started till now is a bit terrible, from rivals, danfo drivers and conductors with the way they talk and behave , also the Incident of hot oil falling from fire. Recently when I went to the market wheelbarrow boys stole my goods and ran away. Come rain come sun I am always working, but thank God we don’t look like what we have been through and am so happy that my hardwork is not in vain.

Picture going viral
When my daughter told me the picture we took has spread I was really surprised and I was really happy.

Giving up
NO! Never have I felt like giving up, this business started very slow and unproductive but I never gave up. This is because despite the income then, I still had something to take care of my children, and this was enough motivation to carry on and not to give up.

Being a woman of Rubies
Being hardworking makes me a woman of rubies, because my hardwork paid for it and because of it two of my daughters are GRADUATES today. I am happy and privileged to be honored by an important organization, such as WOMEN OF RUBIES pray that everyone at the organization sow and reap the fruit of their handwork.

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#INTERVIEW| LARA KUDAYISI-EMERALDS, RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

“I Had A Child At 19 And 14 Heartbreaks Before I Met My Prince Charming

”Like a phoenix, Lara Kudayisi Emeralds is rising from the ashes of adversity and inspiring others to do so through her story. Her tale will inspire you to rise above your challenges no matter what life throws at you. Her dream is to help singles make the right decision before walking down the aisle. The pretty relationship counselor and matchmaking mistress had a child at 19, her heart was broken 14 times and and has had 15 abortions .Today, Lara is touching lives through her “Matchmaking Mistress” platform. When you meet Lara, you realize she doesn’t look like what she has been through. This is her story.

Meet Lara Kudayisi-Emerald

I am the Matchmaking Mistress. I help singles attract their dream partners and walk down the aisle in the shortest time possible. I do this via The Achieve Your Marriage Goal Plan, Help My Heart Skype Call and The Complete Singles Club among others

The Match Making Mistress Brand

It actually started with my Complete Singles Club. I realized that though the guys and ladies chat daily in a Whatsapp group and meet every month, yet relationships weren’t happening like everyone expected it to. I knew at that point that I needed to go an extra mile to help them.
I started matchmaking a few of them that were interested and things got better, and since then I discovered an industry that is untapped and decided to pioneer it.

Being a relationship expert

Apart from being a Matchmaking Mistress. I am also a Relationship Expert. I started doing that because of my journey to a happily ever after life. I had a child at 19, had 14 heartbreaks and 15 abortions. I was so messed up until I finally got married to my prince charming. I decided to help people find happiness without going through all I went through and that was birthed the relationship articles and coaching programmes.

Pain is what pushes me

I want to help people in the little way that I can. Pain is what pushes me. I want to help eradicate pain. A lot of people have miserable marriages and dysfunctional relationships. I have been through this so many times and it’s not a pleasant place to be in. I feel fulfilled when I see people that I help smile and feel better.

Giving up?

Oh Yes. So many times I feel like giving up especially when I wasn’t making money and I was pouring out my soul to help people especially when it’s the only thing that I do. If you don’t make money from your passion with time, you would get frustrated. I had to learn that lesson the hard way and make it a full time business that pays the bills

Other Projects

Our Complete Singles Academy is coming up soon. It’s an Academy that singles need to go through for Self Discovery and Mastery. A lot of single people don’t even know who they are or why they act the way they do. Some people were raped, molested or mistreated and broken when they were young. It has affected who they are and what they do. This has affected who they are or how they behave. It also affects how they date and who they date. When you are dysfunctional, you would attract dysfunctional people, because you attract who you are. Furthermore, we would run dating programs and Marriage Preparatory Classes. I am so driven to help repair singles before they get married. When people get married, it’s a lot more difficult to help them because another person is involved.

Challenges

People are skeptical to be match made. They have no idea what match making entails. In fact, some people felt it shows they are desperate or it meant they were slackers as a guy. They didn’t know that there’s no big deal in it. It’s just normal introduction of boy, girl like it was way back in history. I remember asking a girl if she preferred to have no one ask her out in ages or have me introduce different people to her until she finds a perfect fit. Of course she preferred the introductions. So the challenge is the ignorance in the society about Matchmaking.

It makes my work more complicated.

Future Project

Telling your story

In Public Speaking, you need to connect with the people you are speaking to and for people of this generation; you need to tell them your story. People don’t want to hear 5 or 7 steps, they want to hear how you handled the challenges you had, and how you were able to surmount it. They want to know that you were in their shoes, you felt their pain and now that you have come out unscathed, then you have the right to talk them. Not because you have read some books or read stuff on the Internet.

Being a woman of Rubies

The ability to want to help alleviate people’s pain. I love to eradicate people’s emotional trauma and lead them to a happily ever experience

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I USE PROFITS MADE FROM FISH-SELLING TO SPONSOR MY CHILDREN’S EDUCATION-MRS EUNICE GODWIN, FISH -SELLER

 

A true mother is one who sacrifices for her children, a caregiver who does whatever it takes to put a smile on the faces of her children. In a world where true motherhood is becoming a rarity, Mrs Godwin is an exception

Mrs Godwin is a fish seller and the mother to Joseph, a member of the National Youths Service Corp who recently posted a picture of himself and his mum on social media. In the picture, he is dressed in the NYSC uniform while his mother puts on the NYSC face–cap.The picture was taken in the market where she sells fish. The picture got the attention of Yoruba actress, Toyin Aimakhu.She posted it on her social media platform and it has gone viral since then.

According to Toyin Aimakhu:” God will bless him and his mother. He is a son who will never forget the sacrifice his mother made for him”

In this interview with Women of Rubies, Mrs Godwin shares her inspirational story. It will trigger your emotions and probably make you cry.

The Beginning

My name is Eunice Godwin a fish- seller, she sells frozen and smoked fish. My husband works as a security guard. He lives in Kaduna South, Nassarawa. I gave birth to six children; two boys and four girls .I love my children a lot and would do whatever it takes to make sure they are successful. I was selling orange before but the business was not giving me what I needed to support my family and I started the fish business because I see it as a means to sponsor my children’s education. The fact that I make profit from this business gives me joy and makes me fulfilled,

Challenges

I am facing a lot of challenges in my business. Government workers are against people selling by the roadside and we are always in constant fear that they can show up at any time. Another challenge I face is that my neighbors complain that the smoke coming out from the fishes irritate them .I need a place I can be doing that because I sell smoked and fresh fishes, also most times there is no market and I have to bring the fish back home , these things sometimes want me to give up but I won’t.

READ ALSO : 12 Thing mentally strong women don’t do

Sustaining the business

As a result of the need to sponsor my children’s education, I put in my best and do everything within my power to sustain the business. The profit made is sent to my children in school. I used the profits made from selling fish to sponsor my child who is currently undertaking his national youth service and others who just gained admission. I have always dreamt of sponsoring my children to the university and this is already happening

Giving up

I sometimes feel like giving up on my business. I buy the fishes on credit and pay at the end of the day. Sometimes I am not able to pay all because I would need the money, to be sent to my son in school. This makes me owe the person who sold the fishes to me .I am still paying the debt because it is much

Viral picture

When my son told me the picture we took has spread I was really surprised. I didn’t really look beautiful in the picture. I am really happy for it. My son was used by God to make the picture go that far.

Advice to Mothers

Take care of your children and they will take care of you, seedtime and harvest time will not seize.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I see Proverbs31:10-31 as a reflection of the person God created me to be. This makes me a Woman of Rubies

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#INTERVIEW |THE KATHLYN EYITEMI STORY , FOUNDER – SISTER INTERACT NETWORK

Kathlyn Eyitemi was sexually assaulted at the age of four, endured physical and verbal abuse from her dad and was raped few months to her wedding. Her mother committed suicide when she was fifteen ..She was engulfed in self-denial and condemnation and was silent about it for years till she got healed .Today, she is the president of Sisters Interact Network, an interactive NGO for hurting women, providing emotional healing to victims of rape and abuse. She shares her story in this interview.

This is my story!

My story began at age four when I found myself in an abusive situation while I was living with my grandmother in the village. I cannot say for sure when the abuse started but by age four I could identify that my older cousin was having sex with me in my grandmother’s house. At age five, I moved on to begin living with my father in port Harcourt and he turned out to be verbally and physically abusive. I endured verbal and physical abuse till I was in my mid-twenties.

Raped few months to my wedding

While I was a student in the university, a few months to my wedding, armed robbers burst into my room at night. They yanked part off part of my hair off my scalp, beat me mercilessly and and two of them raped me. I momentarily lost my mind and stayed numb for a long time. In the morning I went to the hospital to get help. My fiance understood when I called him to tell him. He immediately came to pick me from school. Haunted by the memory and the pain, I lost confidence in myself and lived in fear for a long time.

Finding healing

Six years later, I found healing in God. And when social media came I figured I needed to create a platform where women could open up and talk about their pain and their issues and they could seek help as well. I also wanted to provide an opportunity to reach teenagers and make counseling available to them because as a teenager I was in a lot of pain and confusion.

 

Breaking the silence

I decided to break the silence on my rape experience about five years after the incidence when it dawned on me that several women had been through the same ordeal but they couldn’t talk about it for fear of being singled out and stigmatised. They were just hurting in secret. I knew if i spoke out, it would help many of these hurting women because then, they would know that it happens to other everyday women. When I founded Sisters Interact Group on Facebook five years ago, I wanted it to be like a therapeutic space where women could frankly speak out about their deepest hurts. At the time I was hurting so badly from all the pain I had been through. I hadn’t gotten over the shock of my mother committing suicide when I was just fifteen. I had been verbally and physically battered in the home where I grew up with my dad and step mum. I just finally wanted to let out my pain but I wanted it to be rewarding. I wanted someone to glean something right from it and find succor from knowing that we could pray for each other and be there for each other. I figured I would impact more women if I just told them my story on the group wall so everyone could read. When I did that, the responses were just amazing. Those who had been rape victims began to talk and others were just so supportive.

 

From being a rape victim to being a survivor

It was hard to get over the humiliation and the pain. The feeling of being violated had lingered for years. Many times I felt dirty and worthless. There were times I blamed myself for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The guilt always surrendered to anger

Because absolution never came. I never felt free of the need to want some kind of revenge. I felt like I would kill my attackers if I ever had the opportunity. But God began to do a work in me a few years after the experience.

Engulfed by self -condemnation

Stigma? Not quite but the self condemnation i felt was worse than any label that anyone could have put on me. I hated myself so much. I felt suicidal. One reason why i didn’t take my life was because i kept telling myself that i didnt want to end up like my mum. I didn’t think it was right for me to take my own life. It just didn’t feel right. But i really didnt feel like i had much to live for. I was by myself a lot. After I got raped, When the incidence happened, in the morning neighbors who knew robbers had attacked me came in and they sensed that I had been violated so they asked me, “did they rape you? I said “no they didn’t”. I felt so ashamed. And I felt like they were not the people I could tell stuff like that to. When i went home from school, I spoke to my sisters about it. But they had no words for me. They just starred at me in shock. And that made me feel like I ought to shut up about it. Although my fiance at the time who is my husband now was very supportive. He just stayed and made me feel like I could pull through it.

 

Bishop TD Jakes Impact

The person who has impacted me the most in this my journey is Bishop T.D Jakes. He has a word for hurting women like no other preacher does in this time. I feel power flow through my veins just hearing him articulate the sermons that are crafted by the Holy Spirit for hurting women.

 

The Next Generation Project

The inspiration for the Next Generation Project came shortly after I left secondary school. I was a young adult then. I started thinking to myself that there are a lot of teenage girls who may have been subjected to abuse the way I had. Because for me as a teenager in secondary school, my self esteem was very fragile. One thing that really affected me was my inability to relate with the fact that I had lost my virginity. I didn’t know when I lost it, didn’t have the power to make that choice, someone had ripped that power of choice from me. I often wondered at the possibility of my being a virgin when someone had obviously broken my hymen long before I was five years old. So when girls talked about their virginity and stuff like that, I felt uncomfortable and confused and tongue tied. The worst part was if they asked me if I was a virgin. I felt really tormented by the memories from childhood about the episodes of me being molested.

Giving up

Yes. Absolutely. You know every vision will be tested by the firewood of life and my vision has been tested on many fronts. I deal with women. My business is women and women are very complex and delicate people to manage. So there are all kinds of discouragement coming from them. The same people you set out to help betray you and hurt you so bad. I think it’s part of life because in the end they are still human too and like most humans their weaknesses can become venomous. But in all, I love these women because inspite of some bad episodes, the majority of them have been my biggest support and inspiration. Of course there have also been monetary challenges too because I didn’t start out with sponsorship, we have funded our programs from our personal pockets through the years and it can be quite challenging when you see the pile of bills to pay and you just don’t know how you will pull through.

 

Greatest Reward

My greatest reward is seeing the faces of the girls that we are able to reach through the Next Generation Project and our Eve Care Programs. Sometimes women cry in my arms. They spill out all the bottled pain and i just hold them close and let them cry rivers. Its part of the healing process for them. When we go for teenage counseling in secondary schools and higher institutions, hearing their stories of incest, rape and domestic abuse, I know we did the right thing by embarking on the project. Apart from providing toiletries and school materials for these girls, One of the things we do is to provide medical care for girls infected with STDs.

The lifeline

The advice I have for rape victims is to first of all, get medical help, seeking counseling and talking to people who can help you. Bottling everything up causes more psychological damage. Because the more the incidence keeps playing out in your mind, the more insane you become with pain and anger. But talking to someone lets off steam and if you get professional and godly counseling, you get clarity about what has happened to you and you are better equipped to deal with it through therapy. I also think society should be more open and sincere about dealing with the menace of rape.

 

Why I am a woman of rubies

I am a woman of rubies because I have been cut out of difficult circumstances and in the end I have emerged stronger like fine stone. What the devil meant for evil, God has turned it around for good and he is using me as a battle axe against the forces of evil today. My story has become an inspiration to hurting women.

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