As you fall more and more in love, there’s a chance something will come along that sabotages this connection. Maybe it’s a communication issue, or something more serious, such as infidelity or family problems. No matter how hard the couple tries to salvage the relationship, it can still ultimately end in a breakup…and heartache.

Depending on why you and your love broke up, here are tips to feeling positive and as happy as possible after your relationship ends:

Breaking up because you’re incompatible

Many relationships end because the couple is not compatible in one or more ways. Maybe you want marriage but he doesn’t. Maybe he’s not willing to move for your work. Whatever the reason, coming to a point where you realize you both just aren’t compatible usually occurs after the infatuation stage starts to fade. You both realize that the kisses and handholding was really all there was to this relationship.

You’ll undoubtedly feel like breaking up was the best option, but you’ll still feel heartbroken. Here are ways to heal after breaking off an incompatible relationship:

Relax and realize the breakup is no one’s fault – some people are not meant to be together.

Make your life exciting again by getting back into your hobbies and interests (and finding new ones).

When friends or family ask about the relationship, don’t talk negatively about your former parter. Simply explain why you broke up, then change the subject.

It will take time to heal, but knowing that the relationship wouldn’t have worked anyway will help you feel positive.

Ending a miserable relationship

If the relationship is miserable, breaking up is the right thing to do. It can still take its toll on one or both people because it wasnt all bad. A miserable relationship can mean many things: maybe you need more independence or just can’t stand being around someone who is so negative.

Even if the relationship was miserable, there were parts that made you happy which will make the breakup tough. Be sure to do the following to heal after breaking off a miserable relationship:

Lean on family and friends and accept their kind words.

Avoid more misery by giving in or begging the other person to change.

Find a passion that will replace being miserable. Some people may enjoy volunteering and others may want to get a pet.

When infidelity ends a relationship

One of the most common causes of a breakup is because of infidelity. If one partner was unfaithful and the other has a difficult time forgiving, a breakup usually follows. The person who was unfaithful needs to take responsibility and figure out how to prevent this from happening again in future relationships. The person who remained faithful should learn from the experience without developing bitterness that will prevent a happy, loving relationship after taking time to heal.

Here are ways to stay positive after breaking off an unfaithful relationship:

Never take the blame for the other person being unfaithful. If there was a problem, it should have been discussed and not “solved” by seeking love outside the relationship.

Take stock of personal, positive attributes – learn to see the good in yourself.

Get support from counseling.

Build an ego without being too self-centered. This may involve taking a class and learning something new or getting a makeover.

Make (and achieve) personal and positive goals.

After a breakup, everyone needs time to heal. Whether the relationship ended because of incompatibility, being miserable or infidelity, it’s a good idea to focus on personal positives before getting involved in another relationship. Use these tips to help you heal, stay positive and move past your heartbreak.

Source: https://familyshare.com/27456/how-to-stay-positive-after-breaking-up

So I’m going to tell you a little story about a friend of mine called Pomi. She is actually the only crazy friend I have, the Ying to my Yang, my other mischievous half. Lol.

So she met this guy recently…actually they’ve known each other for a bit over two or three years. But didn’t get very close until recently. Clearly there was some clear flirt vibes going on because he always invited her to his apartment, they went out a few times together, checked on each other a lot, spent nights in each others apartment…oh did I mention they stayed in the same compound? Yes they did. So one day, he drops this bomb: “I’m really not interested in a relationship right now.” WTH?

Now you know for a fact there was sexy energy between the two of them no doubt. But what really happened? I still ask myself that question every time I think about how fast the relationship came crashing down in just a month.

What happened? What exactly was the plan here because left to me, he was just playing games with Pomi. So I really thought about it long and hard and I came to these conclusions you are about to read below and only one of those is the truth.

When a man tells you he’s not interested in a relationship, it might really be true, but it might not. He might be playing one of 5 “cards” here…

* The Pity Card

He’s telling you he’s not interested, just broke up, etc., because he hopes to get some tasty-sweet woman-sympathy. It’s an attention thing. Trust me.

Playing this card might even get him some “poor brokenhearted baby” sex. Which could develop into regular bootie calls.

WARNING. You probably already know that women tend to hope that bootie calls will turn into a deeper relationship. Men don’t. So just let him be. Leave him alone.

*The “Screening for Bootie Calls” Card

This one is a version of the truth. He’s not interested in a “relationship,” but he is interested in sex. Just go back to the above warning.

* The “I’m in Control” Card

He tells you this in case he might want to date you.You’ve backed off, so now he gets to call all the shots if he decides he wants to.

* The “Easy Exit” Card

Once he’s told you he’s not interested, he can freely make a play for you, and you’re all off-balance. He’s definitely now in control. So if you date for a while or even sleep together, and then he decides he’s ready to move on, he has a ready-made exit excuse. He can quickly and easily put all the responsibility for “misunderstanding” on you. For example, “Hey,” he can casually say, “I told you I wasn’t interested in a relationship.”

*The Truth

Yes, some guys say it because it’s true and some guys say it because it’s true, then change their minds and decide to date. So how do you respond to his “I’m not interested” speech? Simple, take him at his word. Assume he’s telling the gospel truth, and leave him alone. This means you move forward with your life, immediately. Date other men and don’t put your universe on hold in hopes that something might develop with this guy. Don’t behave like his girlfriend or his bootie call. Be clear that if he’s interested in dating you, then your outings have to be actual dates, not “let’s watch a movie at my place then have sex” or “I need to fill some social gaps” or “you’re the only one available, so why not.”

You’re worth so much more than that. Okay?

To your happiness. Cheers.

Source: Guardian