Few days ago Nollywood actress Toni Tones‘ celebrated her birthday with a sweet birthday message to herself in the form of a letter. The letter echoed how proud she is of herself for her growth.
Happy birthday to me!!! 🎊🎉💫🥰
…. My dear Toni,
I should tell you this more,
I’m so proud of you babygirl,
proud of how far you’ve come and who you’ve become, both inside and out.❤️ Thank you God for everything and know you’re just getting started 🙏 .
When Mariatu Sesay realized she was pregnant at 14, one thing scared her more than the social isolation she felt in the classroom: Sierra Leonean law banned her from attending school at all because she was expecting.
A keen student, Sesay continued to show up anyway and begged her teachers to let her stay, even as other children mocked her swelling belly.
Moved by Sesay’s resolve, the school principal, Eric Conteh, defied the law, risking his career and becoming an unwitting figurehead in the fight against a rule that rights groups say is outdated and stigmatizes teenage pregnancy.
“They would call me names, laugh at me and try to tear at my uniform,” Sesay told Reuters, holding her now nine-month-old baby girl, Nadia, in her arms.
“Whenever I showed up everyone would provoke me, but I love education so I summed up the courage to keep going.”
Sesay, with her parents’ consent, agreed to be identified for this story in order to draw attention to the law.
The school, whose name Reuters is withholding at principal Conteh’s request, is the only one in Sierra Leone known to be allowing a pregnant girl to continue to attend classes, but pressure against the law is mounting.
Women’s rights group Equality Now filed a challenge to Sierra Leone’s ban last year before the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) court in Nigeria.
The court heard arguments last month and is expected to rule in November.
The government says allowing pregnant girls to attend regular schools would tire them out, expose them to ridicule and encourage others to get pregnant. It has created part-time centers where they can study.
Since taking office last year, President Julius Maada Bio has expanded primary school access. His wife, Fatima Jabbie-Bio, is an advocate for new legal protections against sexual violence. But they have not moved to lift the ban on pregnant students.
The education ministry did not respond to requests for comment from Reuters.
Conteh said a regional education official visited the school when Sesay was late in her pregnancy but was so impressed by her success that he chose not to report her.
“There is no reason that a child should be denied her basic human rights just because she’s pregnant,” said Conteh. “Any pregnant girl who wants to learn is welcome at our school.”
.”
Mariatu Sesay, 15, smiles as she carries her daughter Nadia while she walks outside her house in the countryside village of Sierra Leone July 11, 2019.
Conteh could in theory be fired from his job by the education authorities for allowing a pregnant girl to continue studying.
Credit: REUTERS
Prepare your minds for whatever life throws at you. You may want to be a medical doctor, but life can give you fishery and animal husbandry to test you. Don’t fret, if it is possible for you to change, change. If not, put everything into it and become the best.
The moral of this story is that even if the course of your life changes, you can still end up becoming a success
Growing up, all of us had big dreams. Some of us grew up to become what we actually dreamt to be; on the other hand, after jamb jammed some of us twice, we had to switch lanes with immediate effect.
Like everyone else, I was once young with wild imaginations and grand aspirations. (I am still young, and my imaginations are still crazy: I always imagine myself beating someone, especially when I am driving.) I wasn’t one of those people who just knew exactly what they wanted to be and set their minds to it. Over the years, my aspirations kept changing. I was neither here nor there. I would wake up one day and be one thing, and the next day another thing. This was influenced by the fact I loved the arts and my parents were hellbent on sciences.
Back to the koko like Khloe, growing up, I had many career choices and they included the following:
A Medical Doctor
If you know me, you will know I am such a daddy’s girl. This career choice was influenced by my dad and godmother. I just wanted to be a doctor because of them; the things involved in the practice no too concern me. Me that I can’t stand seeing a chicken killed, imagine me in a theatre operating someone. This dream followed me until I finished secondary school. I passed my JAMB and post-UTME in the University of Port Harcourt, but some unfortunate people and villagers did a lot of malpractice and the results got cancelled, and, to be honest I didn’t bother going back to retake the exam. Don’t blame me o, I didn’t really send that year. That was how I found myself studying Applied Physics in ESUT. Nobody told me to leave that school and course. Phy-gini?
A Reverend Sister
My brothers and sisters, join me in laughing. Who dash me reverend sister? Who will wear all these fine clothes 3ambyalex makes? All these fine boys walking around, who will marry them? Who will ‘Platiii’ with Adanganga and Kosy? That dream didn’t get to my 10th birthday. It’s not like I am a child of the world like that shaaa. Imagining myself in a convent just sent chills down my spine. I remember one long vacation we went camping and we had to spend one night in a convent. I didn’t find it funny at all. It is too quiet for me, and that their dress is a no-no. Forgive me, Lord, I will find other ways to serve you.
A Marine Engineer
Too many novels no too good oo. I don’t remember where I read about submarines, I just became obsessed. The problem was that I didn’t know jack in math. I am so bad in that subject that I don’t have any moral justification to punish my child for failing it. The second problem was that even if knew math, where in this country can I study such a grand course? I laugh in Ebonyi State University. The third problem was that the only marine anything that I know that even thrives in this country is marine spirits, and these pastors won’t let them be. So that one was a dead choice. The problems of this country quickly delivered me from the spirit of submarines. I still can’t believe I thought about becoming a marine engineer. No be only marine engineer, na mamiwater.
A Lawyer
This one is my one true calling. But back then, art was a taboo in my house. The disadvantage of being the first child, aka guinea pig. Less than four years later, art was now acceptable for children of scientists. My mother apologized to me after my novel came out. I forgive you people. In their defence, there weren’t so many big lawyers to look up to around us then. Or maybe they were consciously showing me the charge and bail ones to discourage me. Now I am upset again. I would have made a damn great lawyer. Maybe if laziness lets me, I will consider going back to study Law. Harvey Specter, I am coming for you!
A Poet
I won’t really call it a career choice, but I was actively writing poems. I was so passionate that I had notebooks filled with poems. The dream died when I gave someone one of my poem books to read and he published it as his. I am coming for you, dear thief. I think God already came for you, because you no blow after all the stealing.
Today I am a writer and a food scientist. Best of both worlds, right? The moral of this story is that even if the course of your life changes, you can still end up becoming a success. Also, you can achieve anything with hard work and dedication. I remember how people used to yab (not openly o because a girl’s mouth is like caustic soda) me in secondary school and university because I wasn’t really doing well in science subjects. In my 300 level, I let go of that “I am not supposed to be a science student” mentality and put my head down and did the work. I am sure I even did better than some people who felt they were part of Einstein’s lineage.
Many people in this country didn’t study what they wanted to study, and that doesn’t make them failures. There are people who stopped in class six and are doing amazing. The course of your life can change and destiny can be delayed but not denied. To be honest, when I conceived the idea of this article, it was just for laughs. But right now, I am even learning from it. So, for the young ones who are going to be graduating from secondary school this month, it is important for you to know life can go either way. Prepare your minds for whatever life throws at you. You may want to be a medical doctor, but life can give you fishery and animal husbandry to test you. Don’t fret, if it is possible for you to change, change. If not, put everything into it and become the best.
Even if you finished secondary school since 1900 and JAMB has jammed you so many times and you have no other option than to study Igbo Igbo bk (go and ask my mum what this means) instead of Marine Engineering, don’t lose hope, just keep at it. One day, lines will fall in pleasant places for you. Maybe you were one of the lucky ones who ended up studying what you always wanted to study but Nigeria is showing you pepper. No job after years of going for interviews like Frank Donga. It is time for you to change your course yourself. Learn a skill, take courses, intern. You can even mess around and write a book like me. Yes, I was unemployed and bored and I started writing fiction. Everything is an illusion, so pick one that is empowering. If you think this isn’t true, use social media as a case study.
Don’t forget to hit me up on @adee_elechi on IG and twitter so I can direct you properly to where you can get my book The Cover. (You can check OkadaBooks). The reviews have been amazing and I want all of you to get in my head through it. You can always just say hi. I love reading from you guys.
Source: Bellanaija
Many women look forward to being pregnant, having a beautiful baby and being a great mum, but sometimes, the process may not be how it’s imagined.
Titilayo Medunoye started her company Milky Express, following a personal experience with lactation.
After her wedding, she looked forward to getting pregnant, having a beautiful baby and being a great mum. All that happened, but the process wasn’t what she had imagined.
After the birth of her daughter in 2015, she had problems lactating – she did not lactate for 3 months. This led her into depression. She was in the U.S at the time, and met with a lactation specialist and things began to turn around. She began breastfeeding her baby afterwards.
Even after returning to Nigeria, she spent a lot of resources importing lactation products as there was no company producing such in Nigeria.
She decided to do something. She founded Milky Express out of love for babies and their welfare.
“The company focuses on raising the next generation of healthy strong children by providing adequate care and support to their mothers during the breastfeeding period,” it says on its website.
Titilayo also received training from Lactation Education Resources.
Milky Express produces lactation cookies, teas and shakes and also offers support in terms of consultation.
Milky Express also provides advisory services for suitable lactation products, as well as counselling for mothers going through post-partum depression.
Titilayo holds a BA in Economics from Nkwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology.
We celebrate Titilayo for overcoming a personal struggle and is now working to make sure no woman goes through the same as well as helping others who are facing similar challenges, overcome them
Source: Bellanaija
As parents, we have to continue to look for strategies to integrate family and work to achieve success in both areas of our lives.
There has never been more working women in the world than we have today. In fact, according to a World Bank research in 2011, more than half (57%) of Nigerian women between the ages of 15 – 64 years old are in some form of employment.
So, the truth is that most women have to work to either support their partners, or to provide for their kids as a single parent.
As a result of this, many mums have no choice but to spend long hours away from their little ones. Most mums are often consumed with guilt, because they have to leave their children early in life to the care of either family, daycare/creche, nannies or after school programmes.
The truth is your reality requires you to work, so the earlier you embrace your decision, the faster you will find ways to deal with your mummy guilt. If you really had a choice, you’d probably take your little one everywhere with you. But the truth is you don’t; the next best thing is to manage the situation in the best possible way.
Now, if you realise that as a woman, you have no choice but to work, there are practical ways to handle the guilt that may plague you as a mum. Below are some examples of mummy guilt, and how they can easily be resolved.
If you realise that you don’t have the time to assist in your child’s academics
This can be a major problem if, due to a lack of supervision, the child isn’t doing well in school. I advise parents to find time to supervise when they get back home. But if you realise that you get back home too late, then it is advisable to get a trusted person to help with this.
However, even if you get a trusted person, you should still look through school work with your child when you get back home. Your child will appreciate the fact that you care about her academics and not just your job, and will most likely begin to excel in their school work.
If you have to hand them to the care of a nanny
It is best that you hire a nanny who is great with children, not just good with chores and cooking. Most mums hire based on cleaning and cooking skills, which is good, but it is important that your nanny can talk and play with your children . Hiring a nanny who loves to take care of kids will give you more peace of mind and comfort as a mum. You can go a step further to install CCTV equipment in your home (if you can afford it), to check them. Also, make impromptu check-ins when no one is expecting you to keep tabs on your child.
If you realise that your child clings to her nanny more than she does to you
Take out time to bond with your little one. You could give the nanny a day off at the weekend, or some hours off, so you can spend quality time with your child. You may be concerned about who will perform the nanny’s duties in her absence, but look at it as a way to bond with your child – you can even bond over house chores.
Whatever you decide, be rest assured that the house will not fall apart in the nanny’s absence. In addition, you’ll be creating unforgettable memories as you spend precious time with your little one.
If you’re not patient with them
Yes, you want the best for your child, but nagging constantly about mistakes they have made will not make things better. You are already hardly at home; you don’t want them happy mum isn’t home often, because all she does when she is is shout and nag all day.
In addition, learn to be patient and forgiving. Set consequences in place for repetitive bad behaviour. Also, teach your child it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as they learn to stop repeating the same mistake.
Help them understand that they are functions of the decisions they make – good or bad. Take time to talk to them and explain why you make certain decisions, rather than staying on the edge many times due to stress.
If you’re calling them names or abusing them
Hurling insults and abusive words make children feel bad and emotionally unbalanced. Learn to define them with what you expect from them, replacing abusive words with more positive words. For example, rather than call your child a naughty or foolish child, you can say I know you’re not a naughty or foolish child, so why did you do that? Also, instead of labelling your child an outright thief or a liar, you can ask, Why did you steal or lie?
It is okay to give age appropriate consequences for outright disobedience. Most importantly, learn to control your temper and emotions. This will make you overcome this guilt in no time.
If you do not spend enough time
This is a major issue that many of us parents struggle with. But I always tell parents to aim for quality time over quantity. Some mums are guilty of being in the same space with their child all day, yet they won’t take out time to play or bond with the child.
My advise: start with 15/30 minutes quality time every day with each child, and increase it as it suits your schedule, rather than no time together at all. This will go a long way in creating a bond with your little one, as kids do not care about how many hours you spend with them, but the quality of undivided time and attention you spent to play, talk or listen to them.
Finally, let’s learn to worry less and focus on what matters while we raise happier children. As parents, we have to continue to look for strategies to integrate family and work to achieve success in both areas of our lives.
Have any tips for dealing with mummy guilt? Please share with us in the comment section below.
Beyoncé did more than give a rare interview to ABCsome nights ago where she spoke about The Lion King, the original cartoon’s impact on her, and the album she curated for the new version of the film. She also released the music video for the new song she recorded for the adaptation: “Spirit.” There’s a lot to take in: incredible dancing, breathtaking scenery, an entire rainbow’s worth of outfits that Bey wears, and Beyoncé’s seven-year-old daughter Blue Ivy Carter, who is a scene-stealer in her own right whenever she’s alongside her mother.
The video justly has over 10 million views already.
In her interview with ABC, Beyoncé spoke about the vision behind the video. “The concept of the video is to show how God is the painter, and natural beauty in nature needs no art direction,” she said. “It’s the beauty of color, the beauty of melanin, the beauty of tradition.”
She added, “It was important that we weren’t just inspired by Africa but that we actually included and learned from the motherland.”
She also spoke about how much being able to pass down The Lion King to her family and children Blue and her younger twin siblings Rumi and Sir meant to her. “Being a mother, my family is my biggest priority,” Bey said. “It’s not many films that the parents can go and feel the way I feel about The Lion King and…pass that legacy on to their kids.”
“I grew up watching The Lion King [the original 1994 cartoon]. It’s the first Disney movie brought me to tears,” she said.
Christie, who played Brienne of Tarth, is in the running for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series.Game of Thrones’ Gwendoline Christie submitted herself for an Emmy nomination… and got it Nina CorcoranMore
Game of Thrones may have swept this week’s Emmy news with a whopping 32 nominations, but the TV show would have one less nomination if it weren’t for Gwendoline Christie. According to Entertainment Weekly, the Brienne of Tarth actor submitted herself for her Emmy nomination — and actually got it.
HBO submitted the majority of its main actors for Emmy nominations this year, but overlooked several, possibly by the sheer size of the cast. As such, Christie decided she should submit her name for a Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series nomination. It seems she wasn’t the only one to think she deserved the spot given she just got that Emmy nomination. Christie is joined by three Game of Thrones coworkers in the Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series category: Lena Headey, Sophie Turner, and Maisie Williams.
There’s plenty to celebrate when it comes to the Game of Thrones nominations this year, including Kit Harrington and Emilia Clarke, both of whom received their first leading acting nominations after eight seasons on the show. And when it comes to self-promotion where promotion is deserved, Christie is in good company. Alfie Allen, who played Theon Greyjoy, also submitted himself for consideration for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series and got the nomination. Carice van Houten, who played Melisandre, submitted herself for consideration for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series and got the nomination, too.
By racking up 32 Emmy nominations this 2019 awards cycle, Game of Thrones broke records for the most Emmy nominations for a single show in one year. According to Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, those nominations validate the turns the script took in the show’s final season. “The only thing I can say is you don’t get this many actors nominated with bad writing,” he recently said in an interview. “It just does not happen.”
The full list of nominees this year is pretty wild, so expect the actual Emmys to be an entertaining ride. The 2019 Emmy Awards takes place on Sunday, September 22nd at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles. The live broadcast kicks off on Fox starting at 5 p.m. PT/ 8 p.m. ET.
Hodan didn’t deserve to go like this (does anyone?), in the hands of the very thing she came to change. The story of her passing will forever be told in the manner she wanted people to stop seeing her country.
I made a new friend recently who was considering moving permanently back from the US to Nigeria. She’d moved to the US as a child, and decided to intern in Nigeria this summer to see if moving back was a good idea. In fact, she’d made the decision, and the internship was to serve as a sort of acclimatisation to our own very different norms.
We’d discussed the subtle realities of racism, and the difficulties of raising a black kid over there (I don’t want my black son to be shot by the police, she said), so there was no point in asking her why she wanted to move back. I swallowed the reply I instinctively turn to when any of my friends suggest moving back permanently (That’s a terrible idea, I always say). It occurred to me that she considered Nigeria home, and no matter how long she’d stayed in the US, home, that often transcendent thing, that place where the soul was most comfortable, was Nigeria. And this is the case for all of my other friends too, as well as so many other Africans living in the diaspora.
All of this was just last week.
Which was why reading about the death of Hodan Nalayeh over the past weekend was painful.
Hodan was a Somali-Canadian who moved back to Somalia back in April after 30 years in the diaspora. Hodan was passionate about telling Somali stories different from the tragedies you read in the news. Her Instagram is rife with the faces of smiling children, the dazzling blue Somali skies, clean beaches, orange sunsets.
She founded Integration TV, an online platform that describes itself as “building a community of inspiring and uplifting stories for Somalis worldwide.” She interviews women making strides in a country known for its terrorist attacks and radical Islam.
Yet, only weeks after moving back with a determination to change the narrative about her country, Hodan was murdered in a terrorist attack. Gunmen invaded the Asasey Hotel, where she was staying, after a suicide bomber detonated a vehicle loaded with explosives outside the hotel. Hodan and 25 others, including her husband Farid Jama Suleiman, a businessman and former regional minister, were killed.
While the commiserations have been pouring in, I’ve been considering my only just reversed stance on Africans in the diaspora returning. Hodan didn’t deserve to go like this (does anyone?), in the hands of the very thing she came to change. The story of her passing will forever be told in the manner she wanted people to stop seeing her country.
With the rise of white nationalism and xenophobia across the globe (a scroll through my Twitter a minute ago had me seeing back to back tweets about origins and immigration), there’s a case to be made for people returning and making their home countries better, liveable. But a question keeps swimming around in my head – is home really home if it offers no peace? As with most cases in life, there are no easy answers.
Photo Credit: hodantv
The government of President Mohammadu Buhari has to appoint a lover of tourism, a capable technocrat, to save this sector from the quicksand it is in.
I stopped travelling, and then I stopped writing, hence my absence here. The bleakness of the state of travel in the country got to me. I started travel writing to spread the virus of travelling, to show the beauty of this our dear motherland Nigeria. But the morbid state of almost all of our destination spots got me despondent. I saw little or no effort to improve the condition with this current government, so I gave up. I apologize to myself, to you and to these places. No potential likes to be untapped. It cries out, and the crying out is what is making me write this piece to resolve my issues.
Nigeria is immensely blessed. Every state in this country has many tourist destinations built and packaged by Mother Nature; but we have left them under-utilised. The 774 local government areas have some potential in tourism that can rake in millions of naira, but most of these LGAs are sitting idle, waiting for allocation from the national cake, which they share among themselves with little or no positive output.
The players are sleeping. With what I have seen, I can categorical say—and I won’t change my mind at least for another 50 years—the Nigerian government has no business doing business. The current mentality and culture is inimical to development and progress. They see the business of governance as an opportunity to loot and share money. The resources of governments are not seen as raw materials that should be converted to positive assets. So the whole sector should be handed over to the private sector to run, and the government should focus on policy making and providing security.
This is the agenda anybody in charge of tourism should be working on. Whether minister of tourism or head of our tourism agency, and anywhere down the line. We can’t keep sleeping on how much we can make from this sector. We need to learn from the Dubai miracle. This is the place they go to when they want to relax and travel, but they can’t think of reciprocating this in their country.
The sector is a mess. Our musicians go to shoot their videos in fine places outside the country, while we have similar things scattered across the country. Our celebrities do destination marriages in South Africa, Dubai and everywhere but in this country, because the sector has been left to die; only the burial is left to be conducted.
The industry has mad potential; any improvement will lead to massive earnings to the government, especially as they have been making less revenue for some time now, due to the declining state of the oil and gas sector.
We need money. We need to make more money. And we need to make money from different sectors. One of the sectors that promises big gains with little effort is the tourism sector. Therefore, a state of emergency must be declared now in this sector.
The things we need to fix urgently are security, awareness, and the decaying infrastructure in all of our tourist attractions. Obudu Cattle Ranch, which is one prime example in Cross River State, has fallen apart. The roads are so bad that it takes twice the time it used to take to get there. And when you do, you may meet the workers on strike. Kajuru Castle in Kaduna State, which has been a shining star because it’s run by private hands, is suffering from the security situation on the Kaduna-Abuja road. It was in the news recently that the castle was stormed by kidnappers and they took some people.
I can go on and on, and I will encourage my readers to list the ones they know in the comment section, so that if the right people are reading this, they will know things to work on.
Travelling is my passion. I like the art and business of travel. In recent years we have seen a resurgence of travel companies, and I have this burning desire to start one. These companies are suffering; it is hard to market places that are unkempt and unsafe. It is sad when a travel company has to be praying that nothing goes wrong on a trip. It kills their zest and harms their bottom-line.
The government of President Mohammadu Buhari has to appoint a lover of tourism, a capable technocrat, to save this sector from the quicksand it is in. The telecommunication model has to be adopted in this sector, and we pray that his efforts to fix our security yield good dividends for the growth of this sector. May God bless Nigeria.
Parenting is hard work, and there are no real short cuts. Children are one of life’s greatest joys, but there’s no doubt about it – taking care of them is also one of life’s greatest challenges especially for parents/guardians who love to feed their bundles of joy with healthy options, but in juggling work and other activities, would need an extra hand getting recommendable solutions.
August Secrets Nigeria is a growing baby and toddler food solutions company with the goal of helping parents, home and abroad, to feed their children with wholesome options, rather than foods made from processed ingredients.
August Secrets comes alive with its first Kiddies Food Festival
Date: Sunday, July 21st, 2019
Venue: Bay Lounge, Lekki, Lagos
This one day event is designed to launch the brand’s new baby food products, as well as, celebrate existing diverse range that babies and toddlers already find nutritional. Parents/guardians will have the chance to sample and purchase, on the spot, the products exhibited.
The August Secrets Kiddies Food Festival promises to be just more than a children’s food exhibition, but a fun, engaging, and relaxing family affair created for children and their parents/guardians.
According to the brand’s CEO, Toyin Onigbanjo,
“There will be tons of yummy treats and activities such as coloring classes, face painting, slides, among many others, to keep children engaged and happy. The adults will not be left out as there will be a spa corner to help relax those stressed muscles, adult games, parenting competitions, as well as free counselling from trusted nutritionist and health practitioners, as well as an open air culinary workshop – with swift, healthy, stress-free cookery demonstrations specially designed for parents who desire to feed their children with nutritious ingredients.”
This is one family-centered event you do not want to miss! August Secrets is a wholesome child nutrition and holistic childcare company. It was developed to encourage healthy eating habits in children through a range of delicious and natural foods that are easy for parents to make and fun for babies to eat.
The August Secrets brand can be found in selected stores nationwide.
For more information on the August Secrets brand, visit the site
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