In self development December 29, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

THE RACKET SERENA WILLIAMS SMASHED AT THE 2018 U.S. OPEN SOLD FOR NEARLY $21,000

The 2018 U.S. Open final did not go as Serena Williams and her fans had expected. Instead of securing her 24th Grand Slam singles title, the iconic tennis star was defeated by a then 20-year-old Naomi Osaka in a dramatic showdown. During the heated match, Williams clashed several times with umpire Carlos Ramos, who fined her for receiving illegal coaching, verbal abuse, and breaking her racket. Williams later accused Ramos of being sexist in a post-game press conference.

Now, more than a year later, a Manhattan memorabilia dealer has made a hefty profit from Williams’ frustration. According to CNN, the racket she smashed has been sold for $20,910 at a New Jersey auction.

The 38-year-old tennis superstar initially gave her smashed racket to ball boy named Justin Arrington-Holmes, who sold it to a dealer in Manhattan for $500 earlier this year with negotiating, reports the New York Times. “Looking back I wish I’d had someone help me with the process,” said Arrington-Holmes. “I was not familiar with how any of this works. I just wanted to get rid of it.”

The racket was one of a number of sporting memorabilia that sold at Goldin Auctions. Other items included a Jesse Owens gold medal from the 1936 Olympics that sold for $615,000; a signed LeBron James rookie card from the 2003-4 season that sold for $198,030; a canceled check signed by Michael Jordan, which sold for $12,300; and a used Jerry Rice 49ers jersey from 1995 fetched for $27,060.

“This was truly a remarkable event in both the wide assortment of items and the record prices realized for so many of them,” said Ken Goldin, founder of Goldin Auctions, reports CNN.

Earlier this year, it was revealed that Williams joined Bumble Fund, an Austin-based startup that invests in female founders of color and aims to end bias in venture capital.

“I’ve learned how impactful one woman’s voice can be when given a platform to speak and be heard. I am passionate about building on this progress and opening doors for women of all backgrounds, especially women of color, to share their message and trust in their potential to accomplish great things,” she said in a statement. “By joining forces with the Bumble Fund, we will continue amplifying female entrepreneurs and creating a place for them to personally and professionally champion their growth.”

In self development December 28, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

ENIOLA OLAOSEBIKAN: IS LOVE A FEELING OR A STATE OF THE MIND?

Love is patient, love is kind, love is this, love is that – these things are all easy to say. However, considering the negative things that happen even when we say we are in love, one cannot help but ask what love really is.

Growing up, I remember writing a very hateful letter to my dad once – the same daddy that I love as well. Sometimes, when our spouse does something we think is ‘annoying’ to us, at that moment, everything called love is thrown away, leaving us with resentment and sometimes, vengeance.

No doubt, there are many classifications of love, but asides the agape kind of love (which sometimes becomes incomprehensible), is there any other form of love that can be said to be unconditional? Is there love that does not change with feelings or deeds? Feelings in the sense of the emotions we have when they do something that goes down well with us, and deeds in the sense of their actions that are pleasing to us.

No doubt we love our parents and we love our partners as well, but, things tend to go wrong when they offend us. This can make us throw every teeny bit of love we have for them away at that instant and almost immediately, we replace these ‘feelings’ of ‘love’ with some form of coldness.

So is love a feeling, or a state of mind?

Some married couples, when asked if they love their spouse, replied that they do not know. This is shocking to me. I thought love was supposed to be the bedrock of every marriage! So if you do not know if you love your spouse or not, what then is the bedrock of your marriage? This, I usually ask myself, especially when I see couples who have lovingly been together for over 10 years, 20 years and more.

Is love based on the emotions of what one’s spouse does for one, or on the deep reality that this person is a good person and always means good for us? Is love actually a feeling that goes and comes, or one that stays and goes nowhere? Or perhaps an accumulation of all the good deeds only, leaving no space for the seemingly bad days?

For Temi, when asked if she loved her spouse, her reply was yes. When asked why and how she knows, a reply was not forthcoming. This made me wonder how love truly is between couples. A school of thought says that when you love your spouse, you love him or her for no reason (this may be why it was hard for Temi to explain why she loved her husband. For her, it was a feeling with a particular kind of depth and awareness that she could not explain).

Another school of thought says one way to know if you love your spouse is to examine the reasons why you are with him in the first place. In other words, the reasons why you are with him would show you if you love him or not. The question now is: if you are with him for reasons that can be classified as selfish in some ways, would you still say you love him? Let’s say you are solely with him for the comfort he gives, his soft-spoken nature, and the fact that he meets all your needs and beyond, would you still call that love? Considering that love has been said to involve some forms of service and not just what we can get or solely what suits us?

Because I have no firm answer to these questions – especially ‘categorical’ opinions about the various schools of thought involved in love and loving a person – I’ll push this to you: What really is love? Do you think true love is when we love with reason, or without reason?

I’ll be looking forward to reading your answers in the comment session.

About the Author

Eniola Olaosebikan is a creative, spontaneous and in-depth writer. She writes poems, fictions, articles, songs, speeches and biographies. She holds a master degree in International Business Management from the Aberystwyth University, Wales, United Kingdom. She also speaks at conferences and seminars. You can connect with her on her social media handles; @Facebook- Eniola Olaosebikan @Instagram – cream_legend @Twitter- TheEniolaOBlog site: https://soulwriteralways.blogspot.com.ng/

In self development December 28, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

SHERYL SANDBERG: BLACK WOMEN HAVE BEEN LEANING IN FOR A LONG TIME BECAUSE THERE WAS NO CHOICE

If you are a woman in corporate America, you are probably familiar with the term, lean in. In 2013, lean in became a business term derived from the book, Lean In, written by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and CEO of Lean In. When the book first hit the shelves, it became a hit. Yet over the years, a number of women have been vocal about the lean in methodology not being as effective for all women. Late last year, former first lady Michelle Obama said that it does not work. And other leaders have weighed in on the matter in agreement.

In all of my readings of other perspectives on the practice of leaning in, I realized that no one had a conversation with Sandberg about their ideas, work, or experiences.

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Sandberg for a one-on-one conversation about women in the workplace. When planning for our conversation, I knew that it would be important to explore the findings specific to black women in the 2019 Women in the Workplace report. I also knew that it was critical to speak with her about her thoughts about black women leaning in.

During our time together, I asked Sandberg about leaning in, mentorship, allyship, and how women in the workplace can find their voice.

There are a number of women of color, black women in particular, who think that leaning in does not work for them. What is your response to women who think that?

One of the good things about the title Lean In is it’s a very strong title. And everyone thinks they know what it means. One of the bad things about the title Lean In is it’s a very strong title–and everyone thinks they know what it means. The book never said, ‘it’s all on women to lean in all on their own.’ It doesn’t say that. My foundation’s work, from the beginning, has worked on both institutional issues and personal issues. But the name Lean In doesn’t really communicate that. The other thing is when I wrote Lean In, I just didn’t know that anyone would even read the thing. The original draft of the book had no stories, it was just data.

I got persuaded to put my story in. Data comes alive with stories. And there should have been many more stories from people with different backgrounds in the first version of the book. I think that would have solved the problem. One thing that’s super interesting is part of the message of Lean In, and not all of it. Part of it is, let’s make ambition safe for women. Black women are more ambitious.

What I hear is that black women have been leaning in for a long time because there was no [other] choice.

Lean In services women all around the world, is there work that the organization is doing specifically to advance black women in the workplace outside of the data and the stories that are being told?

We go by far the biggest on Black Women’s Equal Pay Day. Equal pay day is a new thing. It took people a long time to figure out that women are paid less than men and it’s 18% for women overall. It’s 38% for black women. From the day of Equal Pay Day, you have to work through 2020 to make the same amount of money a white male makes in 2019. We do a huge push around black women’s equal pay day and I think that really matters.

What charge do you have for white women as it relates to forming allyships?

There’s this [idea] that women don’t help each other. And then across races, women don’t help each other. One, that’s not true. And two, we have to make it not true.

We [white women with privilege] need to make sure that as women we are trying to raise up all of us. It’s why my foundation does a deep dive on women of color in this data. When we solve the problem, it needs to be not just for white women, but for women of all backgrounds

What advice do you have for women as they move forward as they climb corporate ladders, as they lean in, and especially find their voice in the workplace?

We have to tell women not to not ask. Ask for promotions, ask for raises, and demand to get paid equally.

I think women should say, ‘Hey, I know the data. And I know you’re probably paying a lot of attention to it—but I’m a woman or I’m a black woman and on average, we get paid 30% less. I want to make sure that you’ve benchmarked my offer to white men in this role. I’m sure you’re doing that. But, if you could double-check that before I accept this job, I would really appreciate that.’

In self development December 27, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

#SEASONOFLOVE: COUPLE CELEBRATE 52ND WEDDING ANNIVERSARY WITH LOVELY PHOTOS

Elderly couples have been able to face all of life’s trials and have managed to deal with whatever challenges that come their way and still thrive. Even if they may not always get along, deep down they do always love each other.

Real love means being by your lover’s side in good and bad times and growing old with them. You must have seen old couples together, you apparently can’t hold back your “awww” due to the cuteness. Elderly couples really have a way of making you smile even if you’ve been through a terrible day.

These photos of Elizabeth and Peter Oderinde , shot by @amessentialphotography, for their 52nd wedding anniversary are so beautiful.

See the photos below

Source: Bellanaija

In self development December 26, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

OLAWUNMI ESAN: WHAT DOES GREAT SEX MEAN TO YOU?

Understanding what makes sex great for you is crucial to enjoying a mutually fulfilling and highly plGreat sex is not necessarily about going more than one round. I can’t count how many people force themselves to go more than one round. What is wrong with going one round and enjoying that round? Anyway, story for another day.

Having great sex is not just about having orgasms, neither is it about experiencing temporary paralysis because somebody almost ‘banged’ you to death.

While all those things seem interesting, many people focus on trying to measure up to certain standards – to the detriment of discovering what great sex really means to them.

So for a moment, throw away the general prescriptions for great sex and think, “What makes sex great for me?”

Let me take it a step further and simplify this for you…

Think about your best sexual experiences so far. At least, the top three most amazing sexual experiences. What made those experiences amazing for you? Why do they stand out so strongly?

If you could bring any of those things into play again, would the experience still be amazing for you?

This very simple exercise is a great way to define your unique recipe for great sex.

Great sex for you may require that your partner takes time to pay attention to your body. For someone else, it may mean adding an element of naughtiness (sex cuffs and blindfolds). To others, the element of urgency might make sex more exciting (Yeah baby, I can’t wait long enough to get to the bedroom, I want you here and now), or it may be as simple as having a participative partner.

Your recipe for great sex may vary, depending on the situation or what you are in the mood for. Whatever that recipe is, embrace it!

It would also be great to do this simple exercise with your partner and share your findings with each other.

Understanding what makes sex great for you is crucial to enjoying a mutually fulfilling and highly pleasurable sex life.

Olawunmi Esan is a trained Psychotherapist, who specializes as a Sex Therapist & Coach. She helps couples take Sexual Intimacy from Routine to Mind-blowing and has worked with over 1,000 individuals and couples to help them enjoy more fulfilling Intimacy and Sex lives.She is a founding member of The African Association of Professional Counsellors (ANEPCO) and the Founder of The Thriving Family, a Counselling Organisation working to promote positive and well balanced family life.You can learn more about her work HEREOlawunmi is married with children.

In self development December 26, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

HARRIET TUBMAN MUSEUM TO OPEN IN NEW JERSEY IN 2020

First a movie, now a museum! According to ABC News, there is a planned museum honoring the legacy of abolitionist Harriet Tubman.

The Harriet Tubman Museum will be located next to the historic Macedonia Baptist Church, in Cape May, a New Jersey town where Tubman worked for some time. Based on historical accounts, Tubman used to work in hotels and as a cook for families in Cape May.

According to the New York Amsterdam News, the upcoming museum needs a reported $500,000 to open and nearly $160,000 has already been raised by the community. The money will be used toward getting materials to build the museum, which is being constructed. Officials hope to open the museum on Juneteenth, the day when the last enslaved people were freed in the United States.

“It is important to remember the vital contribution of African Americans with regards to the role they played in the history of our county and to ensure that it is preserved for future generations,” County Freeholder Director Gerald M. Thornton said.

Tubman, who was a noted abolitionist and celebrated Civil War spy, was born into slavery on a Maryland plantation in 1822. She was born Araminta Ross and changed her name after marrying her first husband. She escaped slavery in 1849, and, became a key figure in the Underground Railroad. As noted by History.com, “The Underground Railroad was a network of people, African American as well as white, offering shelter and aid to escaped slaves from the South. It developed as a convergence of several different clandestine efforts. The exact dates of its existence are not known, but it operated from the late 18th century to the Civil War, at which point its efforts continued to undermine the Confederacy in a less-secretive fashion.”

The Harriet Tubman Museum’s website states that they are:

Creating a museum to honor her courage

Restoring the building that houses the Harriet Tubman Museum is a tribute to the rich history of abolitionist activism on this block
Tubman funded her Underground Railroad voyages by working in Cape May
The Harriet Tubman Museum highlights the pivotal role Cape May played in the fight for freedom

In self development December 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

THIS MOM CREATED AN APP TO HELP PARENTS FIND THE CLOSEST BLACK SANTA

Jihan Woods is the real MVP. After struggling to find a Black Santa for her twins, the Texas mother created an app to help parents nationwide locate one with ease.

A self-proclaimed Christmas enthusiast, Woods launched a Kickstarter campaign last year called “Find Black Santa: A Mobile Black Santa Director.” The Kickstarter campaign was successful, raising $5,000 in 30 days, clearing the way for her to create the free app. According to the campaign’s page, Find Black Santa’s mission is to “present children with positive images of people of color in an effort to play a role in building self-esteem and improving overall wellbeing.”

Woods is a board-certified psychiatrist with a special interest in the mental health of children and adolescents. In creating the app she cited the research which concluded that positive racial identity leads to better school performance and less negative behavior.

“Christmas can be celebrated in more than one way. Find Black Santa gives families like mine access to Black Santas nationwide.”

If you’re looking for a Black Santa, you can find one in 35 states and Washington, D.C., thanks to Jihan! Download it for free on the App Store and Google Play.

In self development December 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

10 WAYS TO CLEAR SPOTS NATURALLY

Do you want to get rid of dark spots on the skin? These spots may make you feel embarrassed and not confident. This article discuss the best natural remedies for dark spots and how to get a smooth textured skin.

Those remedies include:

1.Lemon Juice: Take a fresh lemon and cut it into half. Rub the juicy part on the scar. Lemon works as a natural bleach and thus, reduces the blemishes and scars. Drink lemon juice (without mixing sugar in it) twice a day for 15 days.

2.Ice Cubes: Ice cube is a very easy and simple home remedy for fading the scars. Take an ice cube and rub it gently on the scars.

3.Aloe Vera: Take an aloe vera leaf and cut it into half. Squeeze out the gel and apply it on the scar.

4.Honey: Apply honey on the scar. It works great in removing scars.

5.Potato: Take a raw potato. Extract its juice and apply it on the scars. This will let the scars fade away. You can also rub a slice of potato on the scars, directly.

6.Coconut Oil: Whenever you get a scar, apply coconut oil on it. This will reduce the scar, ultimately making it invisible.

7.Olive Oil: Olive oil is said to be really effective when it comes to scar removal. Take a few drops of olive oil and apply it on the scars on the daily basis. Olive oil will also moisturise the skin

8.Cucumber: Place a slice of raw cucumber or apply its juice on the scar.

9.Tomato: Apply a slice of tomato on the scar or massage with tomato juice. Like lemon, tomato also works as natural bleach.

10.Baking Soda: Take 5 tablespoons of baking soda and 1 tablespoon of water. Mix it until you make a fine paste. Apply this paste on the scars and let it dry. Wash it off, later on. Repeat this natural remedy thrice a week.

You can also try mixing Honey with lemon juice and baking soda and apply that as a mask. I use that often as well, it gives my skin a very smooth, spot free texture. You should try it too.

By Esther Ijewere

In self development December 16, 2019 By Women of Rubies

MORE THAN 1 Million PEOPLE SIGN PETITION TO TAKE DOWN NETFLIX COMEDY DEPICTING JESUS AS GAY

“The First Temptation Of Christ” has been created by Brazil-based YouTube comedy group Porta dos Fundos (which translates to ‘Back Door’). The Sun UKreports that the 46-minute Christmas Special depicts a weed-smoking Mary, and shows how Jesus comes home to attend his birthday party with a male friend.

So far, about 1.4 million people have signed an online petition calling on Netflix to remove the piece and take action against the producers for their ‘alleged insensitivity toward Christians.’

The film sees Jesus and a friend named Orlando arriving at Mary and Joseph’s house who are throwing a birthday party for their son. Jesus tries to downplay his relationship with Orlando, who hints the pair are more than just friends. The movie description on Netflix reads:

“Jesus, who’s hitting the big 3-0, brings a surprise guest to meet the family. A Christmas special so wrong, it must be from comedians Porta dos Fundos,’ the description on Netflix.”

Eduardo Bolsonaro, son of conservative Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro, took to social media to denounce the satirical special. He wrote:

We support freedom of expression, but is it worth attacking the belief of 86 percent of the population?

Credit: Bella Naija

In self development December 11, 2019 By Women of Rubies

CARDI B SHARES HER OPINION ON FEMINISM WITH VOGUE MAGAZINE

Cardi B, who is one of the four stars to cover Vogue magazine’s January 2020 issues, gave her opinion on feminism. She also explained why she got back with Offset after they broke up.

On feminism, Cardi, whose birth name is Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, said: “Women always want to talk about feminism and supporting everybody, except if it doesn’t fit your category of what to support.

“Certain women that claim they are feminists only think that a certain type of woman should represent that. Like oh, you have to have a college degree, and you have to fu**ing be, practically, like, a senator, or Mother Teresa, or a Christian holy woman. No, you do not.

“Feminism means being equal to a man, and I am.”

On why she got back with Offset after she separated from him for cheating on her last year, she said: “Everybody has issues. I believe in forgiveness. I prayed on it. Me and my husband, we prayed on it. We had priests come to us. And we just came to an understanding like, bro, it’s really us against the world.”

She added: “He has my back for everything, I have his back for everything, so when you cheat, you’re betraying the person that has your back the most. Why would you do that? We have come to a clear understanding. For me, monogamy is the only way. I’ll beat your a– if you cheat on me.

Addressing fans who weren’t in support of her and Offset getting back together, she said: “When me and my husband got into our issues — you know, he cheated and everything — and I decided to stay with him and work together with him, a lot of people were so mad at me; a lot of women felt disappointed in me.

“But it’s real-life sh**. If you love somebody and you stop being with them, and you’re depressed and social media is telling you not to talk to that person because he cheated, you’re not really happy on the inside until you have the conversation. Then, if you get back with them, it’s like, how could you? You let all of us down.”

Cardi shares her Vogue January 2020 cover with Kulture Kiari Cephas, her 1-year-old daughter with Offset.

Credit: LIB

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