Hello WORriors! Today is #ThrowBackThursday and we are throwing back these old photos of actress, Toyin Abraham!
See photos below;
Why do you beg him to stay with you?
Why do you beg him to stay with you?
You let this arrogant man feel like a king
Why do you not feel complete without someone?
When it is so clear he does not deserve you
You loved him since you were 18 you said
Gave in to his every whims
Tried to make him feel like a man
But still he felt incomplete
But you see the problem was never with you
Instead the problem was with him
A fragile shell of a man
Never allowed to think on his own, never held accountable for his actions
With a mother who babied him and a father who let her
Such a man never had a chance
He could never compete with a glorious woman such as yourself
Who has always known what she wanted and fought for it
The sad thing is that passion is what he fell in love with
As he was severely lacking in it himself
But he soon found that he could not compete with it
With every success of yours he saw several of his failures
So darling do not ever beg such a man
Let him go
You can cry and mourn the love you wasted
But don’t retreat for too long
Because the strength and passion that brought you so much success
Is what will transform you like a phoenix
To a better version of yourself
Who will never need to beg a man like him again
Chidinma is a final year law student at the University of Sheffield. Check out more of her work at chidinmachukwuma.wordpress.com
Can or are you able to really say honestly who you are? Someone once said if you do not know who you are, other people’s opinions will give you a false interpretation of who you really are? Well, I think that is very understandable right? This is because we as much as our friends, families and loved ones may know the ‘basics’ about us including our name, our place of birth, our parents, probably our age (probably not the case where people decide to hide their ages for some reason best known to them…wink**) and others.
Well, this is not the concern here? But aside these ‘basics’ what about what you are made of? Your character, attitudes, dislikes, your deep seated demons, pretence games which come to play once in a while…among others. These things constitute who a person really is. I mean given different situations, we can all be nice, compassionate, gentle, interesting, hold good conversations and the likes….but that character exhibited there may just be a nine day wonder! You know that deep down you are acting (living a lie or pretending to be someone you are not, at least for a while).
And you know one thing about acting? It has to be BELIEVABLE ( an attribute some movie actors lack, but hey they still make their monies right?). But one thing is, assuming or making a character come to life does not mean that is who you really are…For instance I don’t think a person who plays the role as a drunkard or a womaniser in a movie is like that in REAL life. Yet, many people even after the movie has been sold out and producers making their profits and all still associate the character with the person such that they are quick to believe that the actor is like that in real life (meaning they REALLY played that role really well right?). I once heard one Nollywood actor say he was walking down the street and people starting insulting him and throwing things at him just because he PLAYED the role as a LOVER BOY in a movie, breaking the hearts of girls here and there.
Isnt that interesting? Well it is, because the same way that people who ‘acted’ or ‘played’ out a character very well are being abused just because they were very believable, I think the same could be said for most people in the world today. This is because they are playing the character of someone else and made it soo believable to the extent that they HAVE become associated with it. This means you have killed your REAL SELF in order to allow your OTHER SELF (like I learnt in Social Studies) to come to play. This is very dangerous as such anybody who gets to this stage needs to do a serious self re-examination and identify the root cause like How did I get here?
More so, some people are very comfortable living the lie. Why? Because it may get them to some position they have been craving for, FOR A VERY LONG TIME or in order to someone or keep up amidst a group of friends. In fact there is always a benefit lying in there…somewhere. But the HONEST truth is, people will end up falling in love with the wrong person (which is not you) but that person you are trying hard for them to accept and LIKE. At the end of the day, different strokes for different folks! You decide to show your TRUE self for people to appreciate you or hate you OR show them your OTHER self and let them love you or hate you. Because at the end of the day, either ways, not everybody will like you anyway so PERSONALLY, I always do myself a BIG favour and be REAL…no need for fakeness (Not in my dictionary).
Thanks for reading. God bless you all!
About Gertrude
My name is Gertrude Asumadu, a 24 year old young lady who is passionate about women empowerment, girl child education and overall helping others to achieve their own dreams. I am a graduate of University of Leeds with a degree in BSc (Hons) Economics. My time in university was the turning point for me I believe as I have been able to stretch myself and in essence on way to achieving my purpose.
Email: asumadugertrude@yahoo.com/asumadugertrude@gmail.com
LinkedIn: Gertrude Asumadu
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The Queen’s Young Leaders programme has announced that three Nigerians, Kennedy Ekezie-Joseph, Isaac Ezirim, and Hauwa Ojeifo have been chosen as three of the Queen’s Young Leaders Award winners in recognition of the lead they are taking in their communities to change lives.
The prestigious Awards programme, now in its fourth and final year, celebrates exceptional young people aged 18 to 29 from across the Commonwealth and the work they are undertaking to improve lives across a diverse range of issues, from supporting people living with mental health problems, helping children to receive a quality education, to promoting gender equality.
Kennedy, Issac and Hauwa will now join the Queen’s Young Leaders network of 240 Award winners, a unique community of influential change-makers, who represent all 52 Commonwealth countries. The winners will receive their Award from Her Majesty The Queen at a special ceremony at Buckingham Palace in London, UK, next year.
Meet Hauwa Ojeifo
Hauwa Ojeifo has experienced a darker side of life. A bipolar and post-traumatic stress disorder diagnosis in 2015 led her to start She Writes Woman in April 2016, when she could not find any support group to help her through her mental illness.
She Writes Woman is a movement of love, hope and support for women with mental illness. In July, just three months after its creation, She Writes Woman launched the first 24/7 mental illness helpline in Nigeria and have received calls locally and internationally since, helping people better understand mental illness and most important providing them with the right professional help.
In the words of the 25-year-old Business Administration graduate and fashion enthusiast, “Mental illness is not a death sentence, it is not wearing rags by the road in a bin pile. That’s the picture that always comes to mind even unconsciously. I always tell people that you can live an extraordinary life even with mental illness. I don’t try to be normal, I am extraordinary despite and in spite of my mental illness”. Hauwa is living the dream, here’s her story.
Speaking on her award, the 25 year old activist has this to say; “It’s such an honour to have been chosen to receive a Queen’s Young Leaders Award – a rare privilege to become a part of this diverse group of young people who are selflessly serving their communities. I can’t wait to meet the other Award winners, learn about their work and how this programme will further empower us for social change. I’m really excited to see what the year ahead will bring.”
Queen’s Young Leaders programme was established in 2014 by The Queen Elizabeth Diamond Jubilee Trust in partnership with Comic Relief, The Royal Commonwealth Society and the University of Cambridge’s Institute of Continuing Education, in recognition of The Queen’s lifetime of service to humanity.
The Queen’s Young Leaders Award winners receive bespoke training, mentoring and networking opportunities, and take part in a residential programme in the UK, to help them build on the work they are leading in their communities. They join a now complete network of Award winners and, in tribute to Her Majesty The Queen’s lifetime of Service, will continue to connect and collaborate and change lives for years to come. Award winners will attend a residential programme in the UK in June, when they will receive their Award at Buckingham Palace from Her Majesty The Queen.
#EndSars is trending all over social media and oh well, I have mixed feelings about it. Nope, I am not supporting that SARS be totally scraped off. Yes, I have seen these people chased a young man wildly and even though I didn’t know him, I was so scared they might hurt or worse, shoot him down. I was once in a cab with three other guys that I didn’t know from Adam and we were stopped and searched and accused for no tangible reason whatsoever…but yes, I still maintain my stand. There was a motive and purpose behind the existence of Special Anti-Robbery Squad and we should not forget what their original mission and purpose is, even though some of them have completed deviated from their mission and turned to Special Advanced Robbers Squad. Rather than scrape off SARS altogether, I say we join hands and end careers of the corrupted ones among them. If you are harassed for no reason whatsoever, make sure you go to any length to fight for your right and protest your innocence.
Too many people have lost their lives from being irrational with these irrational people. Stand your ground with common sense. We all know how many Nigerians will sit behind their laptops and phones to form ‘Jagunlabi’ but when it comes to action, they will hide their coward faces. It is not every time you fight violence with violence. That is why they have put numbers out there that you can call if you are harassed or you see anyone being harassed by them SARS, I mean the ones that are Special Advanced Robbers’.
Let the ones that are doing their jobs in a sensible, professional way, do their job. Call the ones that are plainly going out of line of their job, to order.
Let’s not forget that another security force can and will always be created, even if this one is scrapped off. All it takes is just a change of name and uniform…Criminal acts still needs to be curbed, remember?
*drops pen
© Lydia Oladejo
Lydia Oladejo is an Editor at Women Of Rubies, a writer, and a Fashion Designer.
Facebook: Lydia Oladejo
Instagram :@lydiaoladejo
Email :lydiaoladejo@gmail.com
Naomi Oni, an acid attack victim has opened up about the day her life changed forever after a strange person throw the hot liquid on her.
Naomi was just five minutes from her house. She says that at that moment she felt very uneasy and attempted to cross the road to distance herself from the stranger. But as she turned her head, she felt a splash and what happened next will forever be like a dream.
According to her,
“I remember being on my way home, getting something to eat. ‘I got off the bus and I was on the phone to my boyfriend. ‘I had a funny feeling – I looked behind me and saw a person in a niqab. I don’t remember hearing footsteps or seeing anyone getting off the bus after me
.No words were spoken. There was no dialogue. I looked back and remember the person just staring at me. The eyes were cold – it was a cold stare.
.That’s when I thought, someone’s out to kill me. I thought, “this person is not going to take my life”. I just started running straight home. I knew it was acid. It feels like something is eating away at your skin. I felt it most on my scalp, more than on my face.
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After the attack I asked “why me?” I work so hard, I’m a good person. I was shouting all sorts of things. I started to question so many things. Am I a bad person? I don’t argue, I don’t like confrontation. Being an only child I shy away from it. I like to keep myself to myself in my own little corner.’
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“The attack has had a huge impact on my life. I’ve found it difficult to get close to people since the attack, especially after being betrayed so terribly by someone I thought was a friend.“I’ve got scarring on my face, neck and chest and there have been times when I’ve felt suicidal
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“After the attack I couldn’t bear to look in the mirror or leave the house.
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When I saw my face, I couldn’t stop crying. I thought, “Who’s going to want to marry me like this?” I felt so low, I didn’t want to live.’
‘The guy I was seeing looked past my scars to the person I am inside
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He said I was gorgeous and completely took me by surprise – he approached me in the street and said he’d read about my story and thought I was so inspirational that he wanted to take me out
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Things didn’t work out with us and we’re just friends, but it’s boosted my self-esteem.It made me realise the attack doesn’t have to ruin my life.”
Source: fabwoman.ng
Hello WORriors! It is #ThrowBackThursday and we are throwing back these old photos of actress and businesswoman, Mercy Aigbe!
See photos below:
Depression
Depression is that persistent annoying voice in your head that tells you all that you are not
It fills up all your thoughts and consumes you
It is the lies of the enemy
Blinding you to all that you are and your potential
It is the half truths that voice whispers to you
Pointing towards all your failures
Distorting and concealing the true picture
It is suffering in silence
Your world surrounded in darkness
Depression is sleeping in all day and staying awake all night
With the demons in your head fighting for your attention
It is alienating all your fiends sometimes
And believing that no one cares about you
It is holding on to resentment and heartbreak like a shield
This supposedly protects you from further hurt
But also stops you from healing and experiencing true love
Depression takes different shapes and forms
It could be laughing, dancing and having the best time with your friends but dying inside
It could be achieving success and by society’s standard you should be happy
But the emptiness inside is unexplainable
Depression is a world filled with empty people barely making it through the day
It is thinking there isn’t any point to life
And failing to see the beauty in it
But depression is not a weakness
It is not something to be ashamed of
Rather it is a disease of the mind
A symptom of a much deeper rooted void in your life
Depression is something only the one who created you can completely heal
Author: Chidinma Chukwuma
Chidinma is a final year law student at the University of Sheffield. Check out more of her work at chidinmachukwuma.wordpress.com
Photo credit: Gettyimages
Former first lady of the United States of America and a presidential candidate in the last elections, Hillary Rodham Clinton has written a letter to her teenage self and its very powerful.
The letter which she penned as part of her role as the guest editor of the volume IV issue of Teen Vogue and a speaker at the first ever Teen Vogue Summit is full of encouraging words young women around the world can relate with.
The letter highlights some solutions to issues young women will find themselves dealing with as they grown into adulthood.
Here are 11 powerful quotes from the letter that every woman can learn a thing or two from.
1.Take risks, and don’t be afraid to get caught trying.
2.Learn from intelligent, inspiring people who have something to say.Ask their advice. Support them, and let them support you.
3.Take a lot of leaps of faith.
4. Always send thank-you notes.
5.Treasure your parents
6.Keep reading, and never stop learning.
7. When you’re facing an uphill battle, be grateful for your persistence.
8.In the moments when you feel lost, it’s your friends who will see you through.
9. Along the way, you’ll get things wrong. You’ll make mistakes. Sometimes you’ll have to do things you don’t love , But you’ll muddle through.
10.Take criticism seriously but not personally. There will be people who want nothing more than to see you fail, but you can’t let them scare you. Live your life on your terms, not theirs.
11. Believe in yourself. You’re going to do great.
source: fabwoman.ng
I got an invitation to a walk against domestic violence recently. Being that I have always stood against this vice, I was very happy to find out that others were as irritated as myself by the evil of domestic violence. What pleased me most was that this particular walk was backed by Natures Gentle Touch, Nigeria’s leading haircare brand.
It turned out a very worthwhile experience. It was not the first time I would be walking against the social vice, neither would it be the last. What made this experience special and left fond memories with me and I guess most of the participants is that it was championed by a business, not just a corporate body but a Nigerian business.
This is very striking because in this part of the world, it is a known fact that the subject of domestic violence is one that the vast majority are pretty uncomfortable to discuss, no, not openly. Family and friends offer support and tend to encourage victims to endure, while suffering in silence. This is why it is rare to find a company willingly staking its head to freely talk against it. Why this is so, remains unclear. But the decision by Natures Gentle Touch to initiate discuss on the ills of domestic violence has indeed given a new twist to the issue, lending it a corporate backing Aside leading in the walk against the social vice, the company I learnt also partnered on a film project titled “Omoye”, a movie on domestic violence which has generated lots of buzz in the public. This is highly commendable and something every other business should consider. The corporate world needs to get involved in the fight against this aberration. Like Natures Gentle Touch, we all need to speak up to defeat it!
While domestic violence is the violation of fundamental human rights, the prevalence of this social aberration is alarming and frightening as well. Available statistics on domestic violence in Nigeria shows there is no signs of it lessening. Infact it is believed that as many as two thirds of Nigerian women experience physical, sexual and psychological abuse at the hands of their husbands or partners. Shockingly, a huge number of pregnant women are reported to go through this horrible experience.
Though the issue of domestic violence isn’t only restricted to women, (there is a growing number of cases of violence against men), they are the most affected given our dysfunctional cultural system that places the man above the woman. Violence against a wife is seen as a tool that a husband uses to chastise his wife and to correct her. To make matters worse, even some of the victims, don’t see anything wrong with it.
I recall sometimes ago while I was a Corper. I had a roommate who shared her horrible experiences with her then boyfriend. According to her, this guy for simple reasons as her not picking his calls, would verbally abuse her and even beat her. Infact forceful sex became his way of making up with her, and surprisingly, this girl saw all of this as a sign of love.
Another story plays out in a church. A pastor had called on the men who beat their wife to come out for deliverance and here you had this man who decided to come forward and be delivered from what he believed to be an abnormality. He was quickly stopped by the wife, who felt ashamed and inadequate.
Domestic violence takes many forms including physical, sexual emotional and mental. The commonest forms being rape, acid attacks, molestation, battery and corporal punishment. Unfortunately these cases are under reported because of the unwillingness on the part of victims to talk about their experience, largely due to shame or fear.
And this is where the big challenge lies; the need to encourage victims to speak up and get help. As with all evil, it is important we continue to create awareness about the menace of domestic violence, possibly shout it on the roof top, because truth be told, domestic violence affects not just the victim but everyone collectively and most importantly children who watch the acts being committed. It predisposes them to trauma and other psychological problems throughout their lives and eventually they also most of the times become abusers as well, hence the cycle continues.
