Women of Rubies
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“I Enjoy Bringing Couples To A Place Of Awareness And Understanding– Taiye Aluko

Taiye Aluko is a relationship and marriage coach.  The amazing amazon is also the founder of RareGems Counselling and Coaching, a centre that helps people gain clarity in their relationships. Thereby, turning despair to hopefulness and ignorance to awareness. The sought after coach who has been married for over 22 years has 16 years experience in counselling and heads her local church’s  marriage counselling unit.

She holds a degree in Law from the Obafemi Awolowo University and was called into the Nigerian Bar in 1992. She also holds an MBA from the PAN African University and is also a certified Prepare Enrich facilitator. She worked in leading law firms before starting an active career in banking, which spanned over 18 years, until 2013 when she decided to follow her passion for counseling.

Aside from her Law degree,  she  also  holds certifications in Person Centered Counselling, Psychology Counselling, Marriage and Relationship Counselling. She shares her inspiring journey and insightful relationship nuggets in tis interview with Esther Ijewere

Growing Up

I grew up as one of the last children in a family of 5. I have a twin sister which is why I am one of the last children. Growing up was largely uneventful for us. We had both parents and my dad died last year at the age of 90 years. My parents tried their best to provide a comfortable life for us, but things became difficult when my dad lost his job. My dad was a diplomat who worked with Foreign Affairs Ministry, so we spent our early years outside of Nigeria. When we came back to Nigeria and he lost his job, he wasn’t able to get back on his feet and my mom had to assume the financial responsibility. That was a turning point as we the children had to quickly adapt and adjust to the new realities of our life. Those were difficult years but my parents stayed together. I think growing up made me assume that every family consists of mother and father plus children. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that not all families were like that. Some people grew up without fathers. Some of us were  brought up by grandparents. My parents ensured we had a stable and loving home. That for me was a great gift from them to us. I won’t really say that my childhood prepared me for what I do now. I think I discovered my love for working with couples later in life

Inspiration behind  Raregems counseling and coaching

Working in the Marriage Counselling Department of my church over the years opened me up to how needed premarital counselling is, as it was clear that many couples still had a mills and boon idea of marriage. The reality they experienced once married was at variance with what they expected, and it was resulting in heartbreak and pain for many couples. I was privileged to attend Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s singles fellowship before I got married. Attending her fellowship helped reset my thinking and understanding of marriage. Then when I was about to get married, my husband and I also went through premarital counselling. As time went on, I began to see the need to offer premarital counselling outside of the church because not everyone gets married within a church setting, and they still desire to be married and happy. Because the family is the bedrock of society, it is important that we have healthy marriages and happy homes. So, my thinking in setting up RareGems Counselling and Coaching was to take premarital counselling outside of the church environment to reach more couples. I was mindful of the larger picture, which is that society is better off when the family unit is thriving. Families can only thrive when husband and wife have a wholesome relationship. Already we were seeing the impact that a lack of understanding of foundational principles was having on marriages. I felt more needed to be done and this is what inspired me to become a professional Marriage Coach and I set up my company as a vehicle to offer this service to the world.But I also realized that I would need to equip myself because my audience was now different and church rules would not apply. So, I had to equip myself with learning to be able to offer value and truly address needs that existed. Another thing I discovered was that even when preparing couples for marriage some had issues from their childhood that needed to be addressed and resolved. This meant that I had to be more than just a marriage counsellor. I had to be fully equipped.

 

Perception of marriage as it relates to Nigerian society

I would say that we are a very traditional and religious society, governed by cultural values and norms. Marriage is desired and desirable by most Nigerians, up from the time of our parents till now. So, there is still an associated stigma when one is not married. This is what puts singles, especially single women under pressure to want to marry at all costs. Because of this pressure, many make the wrong choice. Also, you have cultural interpretation, where many believe that because the man is head of the home, it is interpreted to mean that he is lord and master of all. Many men abuse their position of headship because they don’t understand what being the head of the home calls for. So, a lot of women suffer hardship in their marriages. I get calls from wives whose husbands brandish the head of house status like a badge of honor, while falling to take responsibility.

The sad thing is these men have no understanding of the responsibility aspect of being head of the home. I believe that every man needs to be taught the leadership style of Jesus. Jesus came as a servant leader and so one of things I say is that the position of headship that husbands hold in their homes is a position of servantship. They are chief servants because true leadership is all about service.

What makes me happy though is to see that the younger generation are coming into an understanding of this concept. Men are more willing to love their wives through service. They are more present and involved in making their marriage work. So, I would say that things are evolving, yes, the evolution is slow because you only see these changes in thinking and behaviour in urban areas and even in the urban areas, it is not yet a prevalent pattern. We still have a long way to go.

 

Experience as the head of marriage counselling unit in my church 

It’s been amazing because I love what I do. I recently became the head of department and I work with women who are also passionate about helping young couples start married life with a deep understanding of what marriage is about. Our focus is to teach them and equip them with needed skills for building a healthy marriage.

We operate a one-on-one counselling system in my church. This is different from group counselling where several couples are counselled together at the same time. The beauty of the one of one method is that the couple can confide in you. They get to share their challenges and I can help them work through it.  Because we are also spending a lot of time together, I am observing patterns and can give feedback appropriately. We have a very rigorous but also interesting counselling program that spans a period of 3 months. The process is engaging and participatory. It’s not about the counselor just preaching at them. You must get to know your couple and understand their journey because it’s not a one size fits all. The feedback from couples has always been very rewarding.

The role of the church in helping young couples navigate their marital journey 

I believe that the church needs to be at the forefront of helping couples navigate their marital journey. Firstly, marriage is God’s idea, and we need to uphold the principles He laid down regarding marriage. The marriage relationship is also a deeply spiritual one, otherwise how do you explain the concept of two becoming one? I believe that the church should be at the forefront of helping young couples have a deep understanding of the marriage institution and of God’s original design for marriage.

Secondly, I would also say that to be more effective, church counsellors need to be trained professionally on basic counselling skills. This is because the quality of counselling can only be as good as the knowledge of the counsellor. You can’t give what you don’t have. Many teach using their experience, this is wrong because if you have a bad experience, you will be projecting fear to the couple. Also, you must know that people’s backgrounds are different and when it comes to marriage, it is never once size fits all. So, regarding the role of the church, I say the church needs to be at the forefront both in premarital and post marital counselling.

Lastly, for the church to be at the forefront, we need to have a system of counselling that actually works, and couples need to feel safe coming to the church with their challenges. They need to be assured that there will be no judgment or condemnation. People need to see the church as a solution centre. Many churches have robust premarital counselling programs but the post marital one is lacking.  A lot of work still needs to be done regarding post marital counselling.

 

Challenges

Quite a few, number 1 being that counselling is still relatively a new concept in Nigeria. The need for professional marriage counselling is a novel concept so people are reluctant to make the financial investment. They are willing to spend millions on the wedding day, but do not see the need to invest in the actual marriage. Unfortunately, the cost of ill preparation is actually higher and the consequences can be devastating.

Another challenge would be that sometimes you can see clearly that this couple are not a good fit for each other. You see red flags and you begin to wonder; how do you get this couple to a place where they realise that they should not be going ahead. I always say at the onset of my sessions with couples that the aim of premarital counselling is not necessarily to get you to the altar at all costs, but rather to help you make an informed decision. I once had a case where the lady decided she was not going ahead and called off the relationship.

Finally, when it comes to post marital counselling, the willingness of the couple to make needed changes is very necessary. Counselling is not a magic formula, so where there is no willingness or commitment from the couple, there is little or nothing that a counsellor can do.

Other projects and activities

Thank you for asking, everything I do is directed at helping couples in one way or the other. I have a book that was written and released last year called, Together Forever, Godly Principles for Building a Happy and Lasting Marriage. The book is available for purchase on Amazon and Okada books. It’s a book that any intending to wed or newly married couple can pick up and read together. I have poured what I do in one-on-one sessions with couples into the book, so it’s a valuable resource for any couple seriously committed to making their marriage work. I also have 3 online courses which I created last year.

  1. How to have an engaging productive conversation on expectations before marriage
  2. How to grow your intimacy through the power of effective communication.
  3. Create your dream marriage, your marriage blueprint.

The courses are available for purchase on my website, Taiyealuko.coach.

I am also host of a podcast called, The H.A.P.P.Y Home Podcast this podcast is available on https://www.buzzsprout.com/1670839/episodes as well as all podcast platforms.

Finally, I have an upcoming masterclass for dating and engaged couples that I will be holding in February. The focus of the masterclass is to equip couples with very needed skills for making their marriages work. It will be the first of such master classes and I will be covering several topics. Details will be available on my social media platforms very soon.

What I enjoy about Job

I enjoy being able to impact people’s lives. I enjoy bringing the couples to a place of awareness and understanding, of themselves, their partners, and the marriage institution. It’s really a journey or transformation and I love seeing couples go through that journey and the growth that takes place in their relationship. When you are able to influence or impact people’s lives in deeply meaningful ways, it is always a rewarding experience.

3 women who inspire me and why

  1. Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, of blessed memory.

She was passionate about marriage but more importantly she was passionate about the single person being whole as a single first. She understood that if you are not whole as a person first, there is no way you can build a healthy marriage. She challenged mindsets with her preaching, and she shaped my thinking and beliefs about marriage when I was still single. I went into marriage having been properly schooled by her teachings at Single and Married Fellowship back them. It’s interesting to note that I even met my husband at one of her singles programs. She would always encourage us to mingle, so that evening at one of such programs, we were all mingling and just generally being friendly towards each other, in a godly way o, lol. That was how my husband mingled towards my direction and the rest is history.

  1. My mom, Mama Oluyinka Laoye.

My dad lost his job and for many years she was the breadwinner and provider in the family. It wasn’t easy for her, but she stayed with my dad despite the challenges. She ensured that we grew up in a happy home. She made lots of sacrifices for her children and for her husband. I say it often, that for a long time I never understood single parent households, because I agree up seeing my parents together.

  1. Lastly, I would say more recently, Pastor Mildred Okonkwo. She is fearless in her preaching and teaching about marriage. She is not afraid to say it as it is. She is also practical in her approach whilst also promoting godly principles regarding marriage. She is one woman who is so full of wisdom, and I admire her a great deal.

To young women who are trying to find the right partner

Firstly, get to know yourself and love yourself. Get to understand that you are valuable and priceless. As a young woman don’t undervalue yourself. Many women are making wrong choices because of low self-esteem. I want young women to know that they are precious and priceless. Secondly, you must have your values. Know what is important to you and have a vision for your life because if you don’t know where you are meant to be going, all roads will look attractive. Set standards for yourself. It is very important particularly with regards to choosing right. Lastly, if I am to choose one critical quality to look out for, I would say kindness. Look out for a man that is full of kindness. You will see this in the way he treats all those around him including his family members. Kindness is such an overlooked virtue but is so critical for marriage success. It is particularly important for men to have kind hearts. There are too many stories of wickedness out there, it is heartbreaking.

There is so much more I can talk about but, let me leave it as these for now.

 

Nuggets and lessons from my 22 years marriage  

We clocked  22 years in marriage on the 14th of January. For me it has been a journey of learning and growing, that is one of the most beautiful things about marriage. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is the gift of acceptance. Acceptance is a gift that is not just for your spouse but also for you. My husband and I are very different and in the early days of our marriage I used to feel so frustrated with some of the things he did. I would be miserable wondering why this man just can see it the way I do. But then I began to understand that difference is not bad, I learnt to appreciate him for his uniqueness and accept him for who he is. That was when I started understanding the power of acceptance. My learning to accept him helped me to begin to enjoy his uniqueness. I stopped wanting him to be like me but learnt to love, honor, and respect him just the way he was. Remember that we can’t change anybody, so trying to change our spouses in subtle and not subtle ways, only leaves us frustrated. When I stopped trying to change him, I freed myself from that frustration. Now acceptance is a gift to your spouse because you say to them with your actions that they can be themselves with you. That even with their flaws and frailties you love and appreciate them. Every human being on earth wants to feel accepted, so when you give the gift of acceptance to your spouse, they can be vulnerable and truly be open with you. Once you create an atmosphere of unconditional acceptance in your home, things become easier.

Another nugget I would mention is that marriage is a journey. There are seasons and stages that every marriage must pass through. Recognizing the season your marriage is at, is key. That way you can deal appropriately with challenges per season. Many times, people give up easily or early because they don’t take a long-term view. One of the things I say to couples is that, if God has purposed that He has a mega blessing that He wants to release in your marriage in the 10th year and you get to the 5th year and decide to call it quits because you feel the challenges are too much, you have missed the mega blessing is year 10. God sees and knows all regarding us. We need to trust Him more and follow His lead.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I believe every woman is a woman of rubies. As women, we are precious and priceless. We are beautifully crafted masterpieces, specially created by our Master. Every woman carries beauty on the inside and that is our strength. We women are nurturers and co-creators with God.  In the bible, rubies are associated with beauty and wisdom. I see every woman as beautiful and full of wisdom. As for me as a person, because I am a woman, I am automatically a woman of rubies. You know rubies are precious gemstones and coincidently, I once belonged to a women’s network where we all had to give ourselves descriptive names. The name I chose for myself is Gemstone. I see myself the way God sees me as a beautiful gemstone, crafted in His image and likeness. My friends still call me Gemstone Taiye till today. For me it is a reminder of the value that I carry.

 

Also, I am passionate about pursuing my purpose, I understand who I am and the assignment I am on earth to fulfil. I can say this now, confidently but it has been a journey of learning and growing. I am not afraid to be myself. So, for me, I am passionately walking the journey of purpose. My goal this year is to help 1000 couples and 5000 singles. I want to help 1000 couples build happy and healthy homes. The strength of the home is the strength of society, the home is so important. But I also recognise that it starts with the individual first. You cannot give what you don’t have. Wounded people wound people and we see a lot of that in marriage. That is why the mandate of 5000 singles exists. If you are whole as a single person, you stand a better chance of making a success of your marriage whenever it happens.

 

 

 

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In Editor's Choice By

My Daughter’s Food Poisoning Experience Led Me To Start My Business- Elizabeth Oladepo

Farming and agriculture are the backbone of our society. Without farmers, we wouldn’t have access to food and other basic necessities. Take a moment to really appreciate this profession and all the hard work and dedication the farm life requires. Thanks to farmers, we can eat a wide range of food all year round. There is no doubt that Agriculture is our wisest pursuit, because it will in the end contribute most to real wealth, good morals, and happiness.

Elizabeth Oladepo is passionate about improving the lives of individuals in Nigeria through healthy and safe food production. She founded 07 Foods to contribute to the achievement of the SDG 2 and 12 goals. With the establishment of 07 Foods, she partners with smallholder farmers to eliminate food poisoning caused by adulteration and cross- contamination of food products as well as reduce environmental degradation due to the burning of crop residue by converting them into livestock feeds.

She is Nigeria’s 25 Under 25 Award Prize Winner for Agriculture 2020 and a recipient of the Eloy Recognition Award for Enterprise. Graduating with a First Class in Business Administration and Management, Elizabeth seeks to learn, unlearn and relearn great business values and skills by connecting with individuals and organizations to achieve communal growth.

Elizabeth loves to read, travel, and create food recipes. She shares her inspiring journey in this interview with Esther Ijewere

Growing Up

My childhood was a mix of roller-coaster emotions. I lost my parents while I was in Pry.5 and lost access to everything, including building a strong relationship with my only sibling as we got separated. Luckily for me, my father had insurance to cover my education as I was in boarding school. It helped me grow my self-confidence, discipline, and independence. So yes, I think I see the traits of discipline in my business.

Pitching my tent in the agricultural sector

My daughter’s food poisoning experience led me to start my business. She consumed bad flour and was at the hospital for a few weeks at just 8 months old. So, I started making my own flour, selling to family and friends, and finally launching It into a full-fledged business.

Inspiration behind 07 foods

The unending cases of food poisoning caused by adulteration and contamination of food. Also, the ability to be able to contribute to economic growth.

The journey so far

The journey has been a lot inspiring, challenging, filled with laughter and tears, and of course many opportunities have helped me scale. I can’t believe we will be 3 years in business by February.

Products at 07 foods

Our product line includes yam flour, unripe plantain flour, Kokoro (corn sticks) and we are launching more products this year 2022.

Challenges 

One of the major problems we face in this business is instability in the market. A lot of time we must absorb certain costs so as not to keep increasing the prices of our products but every single time there is always a new price of raw produce or packaging material or even the logistics. The rate of inflation is causing so much harm. Other challenges include logistics, climate change, and hiring youths.

Other projects and activities

Personally, I help other women succeed in business through training on business structure and grant winning pitches through my Tams Cademy. I also partner with ZEEP Initiative to bring encouragement and support to women businesses in the hospitality industry.

What I enjoy most about my job

I enjoy the production and client relations part of my work. For my production, I am able to work with smallholder farmers in Oyo state by off taking their produce, it is always fun to be in the midst of the elderly ones where I get to learn so much more about life. On the other hand, we have amazing customers whose feedback help us in ensuring the best outputs. Both the back and front end are always amazing .

3 women who inspire me and why

Mrs. Edobong Akpabio -Founder of Visionage Agrotech Farms Ltd – Mrs. Edobong is an all-round

excellent person in my industry who is not just my mentor but also an amazing mother. She is selfless helpful, and goes the extra mile for entrepreneurs in the Agro sector.

Fade Ogunro Founder and CEO of Bookings Africa – Fade’s grit and resilience is outstanding. Her journey from being a radio host to becoming the founder of Bookings Africa, channeling through challenges and coming out better is one of the amazing reasons why this woman inspires me. She dares to be different.

Mrs. Ibukun Awosika – She inspires me through her work and support for girls and women. Her works make me believe that my goals are achievable. She truly is a gem

Government and it’s support for agricultural sector

I believe it is a continuous process. Over the last few years, programs dedicated to support the Agro sector have been put in place by the government which I believe can be more inclusive. By this, I mean

more processing plants for MSME food processors which will curb to a large extent food importation in the country. The issue of security should also be top-of-mind for the government as our farmers are faced with so many occurrences of crop burning which is one of the reasons for the price hikes.

The pandemic, and how it affected my business

My business was well positioned to counter 80% of the effect of the pandemic as we were already online, customer data was not a problem, we ensured to get more inventory of not just our products but other food commodities our customers need, we also ensured to map out our delivery processes. In short, all we did was structure how we could function better and of course; we had the government permit for essential commodities.

The Agricultural sector and thing I’d like to change

Access to reasonable financial plans for MSMES. Honestly, if we are to deal with food importation and depend on local production, there is a need for finance to get to the right hands. To purchase machines, fertilizers, raw materials, logistics, and so much more, we need finance. It will be of no use if we ban importation and local production is not sufficient for the economy. So yes, access to finance

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am phenomenal, I recognize the power and opportunities I have and I am ready and willing to share with other women. This makes me a Woman of Rubies.

—

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In Inspiration By

 ‘The Online Space Has Vast Merits That Women Can Leverage On’- Ruth Atim

Women who combine different career and stay focused don’t only win wherever they take their light, they also encourage other women to have  “Can Do” Spirit.  Ruth is making impact  and touching lives in Uganda, using the media as a toolkit, and her passion as the drive,

Ruth Atim is a Journalist by profession and has worked for both broadcast and print media. In 2019, she was shortlisted as a finalist in the Isu Elihle awards, a South African Media award that rewards innovative
journalism about children. Ruth also Co-Founded the Gender Tech initiative-Uganda (https://www.genderinitiativeug.org) a not-for-profit organisation that empowers women (mostly journalists) with digital safety/security skills and Digital literacy skills. She is very passionate about Gender and Tech and most of her work is geared towards ending online abuse that targets women and her work has been able to save many women from online harassment. Ruth’s seeks to Empower women from various spheres of life and professions to fight Online Gender Based Violence. She shares her story exclusively with Esther Ijewere in this Interview.

Childhood Influence

Well, I didn’t have an easy childhood. I grew up in a family of 2 boys, and I was the only girl, raised by our widowed mother who later passed on leaving us to face the world. The world taught me that nothing comes easy, hence my inspiration to work hard and do the things that I do.

Why I pitched my tent in the Media sector 

I started my Media career when I had just joined university, after graduation, I decided to continue with the media because I loved it. It felt good getting paid for doing what you love doing.

Inspiration behind the Gender-Tech initiative

  Gender-Tech initiative-Uganda is an organisation that supports women human rights defenders, mostly journalists with skills to fight online gender-based violence.  I have been a victim of online violence before, but by that time, I didn’t have any knowledge about it and I almost left the profession at that time because of the constant harassment. After attending a leadership program (Young African Leadership Initiative) and Safe-sister fellowship that empowers aspiring Tech Savvy Women), I developed a huge drive to start-up something that would support women and that’s how Gender-Tech initiative-Uganda came in place. We started out by having informal conversations with some female journalists and some of their thoughts shaped the organisation Vision and Mission statement.

 Being  passionate about online abuse that targets women in Uganda, and across Africa

 The online space has vast merits that women can and have to leverage on. But because of online violence, some of them have decided to do an internet detox, and this means that they are missing out on the opportunities and connections that come with being online. To avert this, I and my team decided to carry out numerous digital safety/security trainings in a bid to equip our trainees and beneficiaries with skills to fight online Gender based Violence. This has also played a great role in bridging the already existing and wide gender digital divide gap.

Challenges of my work

  As an organisation, most of our activities need funds, and it doesn’t come in timely. This has affected our work but we are now working towards self-sustaining projects.

Other projects and activities

Our other projects are school ICT Clubs. The purpose of these clubs is to motivate and empower young school girls to consider taking up an ICT Career. This is still in the initial stages but we plan to roll it out in upper primary and lower secondary students.

What I enjoy most about my Job

I enjoy the process of preparing content especially when I have a training coming up. It feels good knowing that you are working on something that will impact many lives.

 3 women who inspire me and why

To start with, Stella Nyanzi inspires me a lot. She is is a medical anthropologist, feminist, queer rights activist and scholar of sexuality. She is one of Africa’s most prominent gender rights activist and was recently awarded the 2020 Oxfam Novib/PEN International award due to her poems and writings that have drawn her a huge fan base both in and out of the country.

Why she inspires me, is the length she’s willing to move on what she believes in is admirable. My second one is Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani activist for female education and a Nobel Peace Prize laureate. This young incredible woman overcame an assassination attempt by the Taliban at the age of fifteen, to campaign for women’s rights and children’s rights to an education.

The fact that she advocated in an area where the Taliban pose a serious threat makes her an inspiration to me. She has fought life and limb for what she believes in. And lastly, Winnie Byanyima. She is an aeronautical engineer, politician, and diplomat. To me, her name screams hope and resonates with what a woman can achieve if she believes in herself a little more.

Byanyima was appointed as the executive director of the UNAIDS by the UN Secretary-General, Antonio Guterres following a comprehensive selection process. Before this, she served as the Oxfam International executive director.

If she can achieve this and more, why not me.

How I  balance my work as an advocate and journalist

Well, I just get my priorities right and plan for my day, a day before. I also love to delegate, because I believe that one can’t achieve much if they are everywhere doing different things. I focus on one thing at a go, and delegate if I am swamped.

Impact of my work in Uganda since inception 

I have trained over 300 young women, and the feedback just excites me. Many of my beneficiaries’/ trainee’s report being more comfortable and at ease maneuvering the internet without any fear of bullying or harassment because they know just the right thing to do in order to be safe online. That to me is a push to do more.

To young women who want to combine journalism with social work

 Both professions are fulfilling. Just find a way and strike a balance between the two, so as to be effective and deliver appropriately.

My view on Gender based violence, and how it is addressed in Uganda

Gender based Violence is everywhere and it was at its peak during the pandemic due to lockdowns and movement restriction. In Uganda, a few perpetrators are being held accountable for their actions, but we need to do more. Women are also very much aware of their rights which is a plus towards fighting Gender based violence, all thanks to the different stakeholders who have made it a point to empower the women.

Being  a Woman of Rubies

I support and empower women to be better versions of themselves.

 

 

 

 

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Dr Nimi Ekere
In Inspiration By

Parents Need To Communicate More With Their Children- Dr. Nimi Ekere

There is nothing as motivating like a woman who is passionate about humanity, and has a strong affinity for change. Dr. Nimi Stephanie  Ekere is a Consultant Family Physician, a Fellow of the National Postgraduate Medical College of Family Physicians.  She is also a Fellow of  the Institute of Management Consultants and a Certified Management Consultant.  Dr. Ekere is a Certified Management Specialist with distinction in Time Management from the London Graduate School.  Dr Nimi Ekere is also a child advocate, author, speaker, coach and humanitarian.

Dr. Ekere has practiced medicine in urban and rural areas for over 15 years and has endeared herself to her patients through her dedication to duties. She loves geriatric medicine and has had numerous training, workshops and certifications in geriatrics.  Dr Nimi Ekere also loves to guide children and teenagers into their full potential. She is a strong proponent of effective and intentional parenting. She convenes several sensitization programmes and has featured in many panels and conferences both in Nigeria and abroad. She is passionate about combating child sexual abuse, working through her foundation, the SmileandShine Children’s foundation, to tackle the menace.

She is also an author of 4 books for children, pre-teens, teenagers and parents on the dangers of child sexual abuse with effective remedies. three of these books are government-approved for use at schools in Lagos State. Just recently, all four of her books were approved and added to the curriculum of the Rivers State ministry of education to be used in primary and secondary schools in the state.

Nimi Ekere was recently featured by the York City Journal, as one of the most Inspiring Women to look out for in 2022.

Childhood Influence

I grew up in an environment of empathy, kindness, and charity. These qualities literally formed my ideologies about life. I grew up seeing my mother give and care for people so genuinely. Interestingly, my mother also saw her mum give out the little she had to the needy. Helping people and being kind come naturally for me and this is because this was all I saw around me whilst growing up.

On another hand, the zeal to read  also came from seeing  my dad read lot and this of course,  influenced me a great deal. I read a lot of newspapers,  journals, articles and even novels. This made me love to write and I started writing so early. I would write poems and short stories. I wrote a whole lot .So yes, I think my childhood prepared me directly or indirectly for what I do now.

Inspiration behind SmileandShine Children’s Foundation

I saw a profound need to save children as I had seen and related with a lot of them who were hurting so badly from the horrendous effects of sexual abuse. I had also encountered some adults who were still grappling with the effect of sexual abuse suffered in childhood. The scary part was that a lot of their parents were completely ignorant and even the few that knew their children were abused preferred to keep it “secret”.  Sexual Abuse was and still is an unpopular area to delve into, as the culture of silence has eaten deep into our fabrics as a people. It is said that our people wear silence like a badge of honour. People still hold on to false dogmas about sexual abuse and are quick to judge and shame the victim rather than the perpetrator.

The victims and their families suffer morbidly from stigmatization in their communities,  schools, market and even places of worship. I knew that I could change the narrative as I saw more and more children being sexually abused, leaving them with so many life long complications. I also noticed that a lot of parents didn’t know how and when to discuss sex education with their children. They would rather not discuss it or just keep waiting till the child is “old enough” , by which time they would have been fed with so many false information by their peers or even the internet. Being that I love children so much, I knew I could do my part to ensure that children are  protected  and kept safe from abuse especially sexual abuse.  This gave rise to SmileandShine Children’s Foundation, a non profit organisation that is aimed at preventing child sexual abuse and profering solutions to victims and those at risk, including members of their families.

We do a lot to create so much awareness about this menace by educating and enlightening children and even the general public on ways that child sexual abuse can be prevented. We also offer interventions in the sad event of an abuse. Smile and Shine Children’s Foundation offers primary medical and psychological care and in collaboration with other NGOs, ensure that justice is served and rightly so.

Impact and lessons from practicing medicine in urban and rural areas for 15 years

I would say that I am very dedicated and proficient at my job and this is judging by the wonderful feedbacks I get from my patients and even my employers. Beyond the fact that I love my profession, I see it as a CALLING  and intentionally love to make an impact in the lives of my patients. And being a Family Physician has helped me so much in this regard because it  actually goes beyond treating symptoms,  it is about the person holistically.  Being a Family Physician entails that I provide continuing,  comprehensive and  coordinated health care  to individuals and families across all ages, genders and  diseases and this requires a great deal of compassion, good interpersonal skills,  good work ethics, maturity, willingness to learn more and more,  patience and of course expertise, and letting these become a part of my life has helped shape me to the amazing woman and professional that I am today. Additionally, practicing in rural areas makes you more humane as you literally see what a lot of the poor populace go through. It brings out the humanitarian in you as you see yourself inevitably paying a lot of medical bills and this is why I advocate an open health insurance policy for every citizen of the country. As a rule, equity is my watchword at every point, so no matter the age, sex, race, socio-economic status of a person, it is non negotiable that they are treated impartially. Every life is important and this means that I go the extra mile to give ALL my patients the best. So whether it is in the rural or urban setting, my consistency and commitment to patient care remain unwavering. The lessons I have learnt from these years of practice would be that having a great measure of  empathy, and emotional intelligence are very important beyond your expertise. Being empathetic makes you do more to ensure that your patient gets the best that you can give, and emotional intelligence helps you understand that a sick patient may not be so polite or put together, so you are much more patient or tolerant.

 My books and testimonials from those who read it

I am an author of four books that address the issue of Child Sexual Abuse. Being a child advocate and working closely with abused children,  I  thought that teaching them  through  story telling about self protection, body boundaries and having a good parent- child relationship would be more productive and far- reaching. I thought that writing age-appropriate books would help them a great deal to understand better about the menace and ways to tackle it . I had always wanted to write children books and I was sure that writing on child sexual abuse in words that were comprehensible and relatable to the children would help them stay safe. Being one who loves children and works with them, I knew that writing age- specific books would resonate better with them and help drive home the message more profoundly, so I wrote “Some Parts Are Special” for children aged two to seven,  “Setting  Boundaries” for pre-teenagers, “Sparkles at Dawn” for teenagers and young adults.

I also thought it was ideal to write for parents and guardians who are literally primarily responsible for the upbringing of the child. Sex education is inevitable in parenting and a lot of parents do not even know what to do in this regard. “Into the Light”,  is my fourth book for parents, written to ensure that parents are equipped with the Whens, Hows and Whats of sex and sexuality education.  It is a well researched exposé that dymystifies sex education, letting parents and guardians know that sex education starts with an efficient parent- child relationship. This book will help parents and guardians know about child sexual abuse, how it can be prevented and what to do in the sad event of a molestation.

My books are approved in Lagos State Government to be used in primary and secondary schools in the state. Also in Rivers State,  all four of my books are in the curriculum of the Rivers State ministry of education and one of them is particularly recommended for use in the Junior WAEC Examination.  My gratitude goes to the governors of Rivers and Lagos States for this step taken to ensure that good  books on sex education are introduced in schools. It will go a long way to curb the menace. As regards the testimonials from my books, I will say that it has been amazing and mindblowing.  I get feedbacks about how children are so bold and empowered after reading the books. I must add that apart from the values and lessons that the books teach,  they were carefully and deliberately written to also enhance the children’s comprehensibility and improve their vocabulary. Children who were not bold to speak about body boundaries are now bold to say that no one has has the right to see or touch their special body parts( private parts). It’s been wonderful and I am so happy that these books are really impactful,  not just in Nigeria but globally.

My York City Journal feature  as one of the most inspiring women to look out for in 2022

It felt like a dream. To say I was exhilarated would be putting it mildly. I was even happier  and more shocked to know that I was the only black featured.. This just goes to say that our good works do not go unnoticed. God is watching and He definitely rewards our labour and sacrifice. People are watching too and as long as you are passionate and tenacious at what you do, the sky would not be your limit but your starting point. All the glory goes to God. I thank my husband and children for the support and motivation always. You truly cannot live your dreams and go very far without the support of a good spouse.

My husband has supported me amazingly. My kids too have been my source of strength. They are so excited to give me their clothes and belongings to the less privileged.  When we go to rural communities for our sensitization outreaches, my kids are always so happy to share their clothes, bags, shoes and toys to indigent children. This feature is an honour and I do not take if forgranted. I specifically give all the glory to God and promise to continue to do more not only for the Nigerian or African child but for  children all over the world.

Parenting and the ills of the society

I think the ills of today would have been curbed drastically if more attention was paid on effective parenting. A lot of innovations which were absent in the past but present now have their advantages but we know that there are lots of disadvantages associated with them. For example,  in the past,  children did not have to study with laptops and tablets. It was easier to monitor what children did at the time, not forgetting that the economy was better and at least one parent was more available. Right now, parents have to work really hard to give children the basic things of life and this leaves the children without adequate care, making them very vulnerable to abuse of all forms. So, whilst the ills of today will not go away any time soon,  parents must be ahead of their game with better and more result- oriented parenting skills that will keep the children safe and make them responsible adults. Parents must do more than parents in the past did as kids now are more knowledgeable and even more exposed to vices and ills via technology and westernization. This is no walk in the park as it looks overwhelming for parents but it is really achievable. My foundation ( smileandshine children’s foundation) has parenting classes and conferences and we are having quite a number of sessions this year. The aim is to help parents from all walks of life learn more about parenting and child protection in the digital age as this.

Other projects and activities

This year, we have quite a number of activities. I already mentioned the regular parenting classes and conferences we are putting together in a lot of states in the country. We hope to have  child protection conferences in as many states of the country as possible and this would involve children and parents. We also have a lot of programmes for  children in public and private schools to educate them on safety/ protection, morals and values. I am very passionate about the hard -to -reach children because a lot of them are left out in programmes like these, so we would deliberately be reaching out to them through various community sensitization programmes and a special project called the  “Talk to me project”, a programme that targets children in hard to reach areas,  teaching them about safety,  protection,  morals and career path. There is also the big  event, in September which is called ” the STRIVE conference, first of its kind for children, in Lagos State. This conference will have notable speakers, child advocates, religious leaders and role models speak to the children on how they can stay away from vices, protect themselves from abuse, live their dreams and become whatever they set their hearts to become. It is going to be a phenomenal one and the first of its kind in the country and Africa

3 women who inspire me and why

I have so many women that inspire me and yes, I keep adding to the list. I have been asked to mention 3 and I  will do just that(laughter). In no particular order, it would be: *Mrs Ibukun Awosika, I think she is phenomenal. Intelligent, humble, God fearing and so entrepreneurial. She is one woman that has excelled in every capacity and inspires me in no small measure.

*Prof Ngozi Okonjo- Iweala, because she has literally raised the bar for women and proven that everything is possible for us as women if we believe and work hard. She has broken glass ceilings, challenging gender stereotypes in male dominated terrains. I see some of her attributes in me. Her resilience, tenacity and dedication to what she believes in, are qualities that women should strive to possess.

*Mrs Bola Tinubu, the founder of Ceceyarah Foundation is another woman that inspires me. Like me, she is a child advocate and I think she has done well in the area of child protection. She does inspire me a great deal.

Child sexual abuse advocacy, and the role of parents and Government  

The first line of defence for children is the parents who need to pay more attention to their child’s welfare, especially in the line of communication.  Parents need to communicate more with their children, a lot of times parents do not even know what is going on around their child even when the abuse takes place right in the home. Sometimes, children are so scared to discuss with their parents and they would prefer to walk the journey alone rather than tell anyone, including their parents. Again, parents need to be more intentional about their child’s safety and make efforts to ensure that their child is not put in harm’s way by anyone. For example, when you’re not with your child, make sure you run a background check on who is responsible for the child’s care, be it at school, church or even with relatives and  when you’re with your child, make time to cover for when you missed and what you missed.

Secondly, the government is the most equipped line of defence for the child. Policies need to be made in this regard, and enforced. For instance, child marriage is still boldly practiced in some parts of Nigeria without contention. Only the government can stop that. While 26 states have adopted the Child Rights Act, 10 states are yet to domesticate the CRA in their respective states. Even some of those states in which the Act has been domesticated, there are still concerns about enforcement. Lastly, we have to help ourselves in the society. We should watch out for possible predatorial tendencies, whether or not we are directly involved, and call out perpetrators. No one should be too big to pay for their crimes. If justice is rightly served, it would definitely serve as a deterrent to others and help a great deal to curb the menace.

One thing I wish I could change in the health sector

One thing I would change is the weak performance and famished state of the primary health care centres in the country.  I will strengthen and ensure viable and high performing primary health care services in all the 774 local government areas in the country and their  respective wards, and advocate for more budgetary allocation,  knowing that primary health care is the closest health care system to the common man and serves as a gate opener to other higher health care services. This will go a long way to significantly reduce morbidity and mortality in our country.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I would say that I am a woman of Rubies because I love to be the best at everything that I do. I go the extra mile for my patients, and I also believe that the depth of passion, dedication and hardwork I bring to my job(work) and the fact that I am very detailed make me endeared to my patients.  As a child advocate, I am very passionate about what I do. I put in my time, resources and all that I can give to ensure that children are safe. As a wife and mother,  I do my best to take care of the home front and also keep my kids safe.

See more photos of Dr. Nimi Ekere’s outreach programme;

 

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‘I Started My Cleaning Services To Put Myself Through School’- Obiora Miracle Nzubechukwu

Show me a woman who is passionate about her work, and I will point my compass at Miracle Obiora, popularly called “Celebrity Cleaner”. She loves her job, and she does it with relish and pleasure.

Obiora Miracle Nzubechukwu is a native of Uga in Aguata Local Government Area of Anambra State.

She is a graduate of Criminology and  Security Studies from Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu University (COOU), Anambra State, Nigeria. Miracle is the CEO of  Mummies Professional Cleaning Services (MPCS) popularly known as ‘Celebrity Cleaner’ on social media. The cleaning agency is located in Awka, Anambra State.

The hardworking  professional service provider has handled several commercial and industrial cleaning in the East and South-south, and it is willing to extend its tentacles to other parts of the country. It’s known for their excellence in delivering topnotch services to the satisfaction of its clients.

 Childhood Influence 
Yes, my childhood prepared me a lot, and  I owe my hustling and building spirit to my guardian (Mrs joy udoji), who happens to be my aunt from my father’s side, she took me in after my last mother passed, and I remembered vividly I was four years when she bought me to Lagos, she is and is still is a hustler that never gives up, so growing she really embedded in me that hustling spirit. My childhood wasn’t boring neither was it full of excitement, but it was good, we were just an average family in Lagos living day by day.


Why I went into cleaning services?
Initially, I started the cleaning to see my self through school, so as to bypass unwarranted insult from lecturers, but as time went by, I found joy in it, the peace and the comfort that comes with knowing that I can solve this problems and make a person happy.

Inspiration behind mummies professional cleaning services
Ans: Honestly, the inspiration behind it was God, and the first year I was about to start my business, I remember kneeling down to pray for a name to call my business, and the only words that kept ringing in my mouth was mummies, and till this day, that was the only name I can remember.

The journey so far
Honestly it been God’. Some days are rainy, some days are sunny, but everyday I keep seeing new methods and techniques in reaching my goal.


Services

We offer commercial cleaning services , industrial cleaning services which is mostly known as post construction cleaning for residential and private houses. We also do staff maintenance for houses. We also handle marble and terrazzo polishing. We also handle 3d epoxy flooring We are very good at before event and after event cleaning both on commercial and private level. We also do interlock polishing and compound washing.

Challenges
Mostly it is just client we feel may not be satisfied, but we are quite professional when dealing with them.

Other project and activities
No ongoing projects for now, I’m more concerned towards growing and pushing mummies to a very high and well known level.


 What I enjoy most about my job
The experiences it brings,  both the good and bad. I also enjoy the fact that I meet high personnel’s that always needs my services, and I the exposure it brings whenever we get to other states  in Nigeria to work. It is kind  of a tourist journey for me…And most importantly,  the fact I fix cleaning problems in people’s environment.

 3 women who inspire me
1) MO Abudu –  recently just made it to Harvard course, she’s exceptional, a ground breaking goal getter, that has been challenging status quo in the media industry.
2) Genevieve Nnaji –  she is a silent achiever, and doesn’t make any noise, I mean she is definition of silent billionaire in the igbo tribe.
3) Ovaiosa –  This lady is a true definition of hardwork, I am amazed everyday with the way she go out there in the world and get it.

Studying criminology and security studies but choosing another career path
Fate.. Because I have planted my seed in this industry.

Managing my business during the pandemic
Relevancy, consistency, and awareness. The covid issue was a nice marketing tools for us, because it helped us create an avenue for people to see the benefit of using a cleaning company to disinfect and clean your house.

If I could change one thing in the cleaning services business
Under-rating and under pricing from clients. It still baffles me how people are able to build houses of over millions of naira, and and when it get to the aspect of giving you a spotless and sparkling environment, you begin to under price a cleaning company. I always try to explain to my client that my services are premium, the mental and physical work I and my team put in are very sophisticated.


To young women who want to go into my  line of business
1) Get the knowledge and experience from a good cleaning company first. I personally was trained and trained in I worked for three different cleaning companies before I started.
2) Don’t go into the business with making quick money mindset, my dear Mark my word, the first six month you are likely to give up. Go in with the mindset of creating solutions, it the passion that will keep you in business.
3) Make research on your own, learn new methods and skills in the janitorial industry.
Lastly, have God, you will need him a lot.

Why they call me  ‘celebrity cleaner’
It is  actually” royal celebrity cleaner”, 60% of all the jobs we do are mostly from Royal families, and so technically I am a royal cleaner.

Being a woman of rubies
My ability to be a goal getter. I am a woman of rubies because I see my sisters rising and breaking the tides in every industry in the world and I am super proud that we are no longer confined to the backyard, but we are now are leading.

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Vimbai Butawu Is Helping Young Learners In Zimbabwe Discover Their Passion

Vimbai Angela Butawu is a Zimbabwean young social entrepreneur. She is an energetic, goal-oriented young lady with a heart for social development especially focusing on child and youth development.

She holds 2 degrees from the University of Monash South Africa. She graduated with her first degree in Bachelor of Social Sciences (2017) double majoring in Child and Youth Development and Criminology and holds a Postgraduate Degree (2019) in Business Management specializing in Corporate Governance.

Vimbai’s commitment to service is outstanding and has been internationally recognized. She was one of only 10 students out of more than one million students worldwide in the Laureate Universities network (200 campuses worldwide) who were recognized as honorees of the Here for Good Award—for making a positive social impact in their communities and countries. In the same year, through the MSA LEAD program, she was selected as one of the top 10 social entrepreneurs in South Africa.

She started My Africa Child and Youth Development Organization in 2018. Her dream is to make a positive change in Africa, creating opportunities for young people. She believes that young people are the future leaders and giving them a platform for positive growth will be beneficial to the development of the continent. Her vision is to create an organization that focuses on making a profit for good, thus creating a self-sustainable organization making a positive social impact on the continent.

On what she does at MACYDO 

MACYDO is an organization that focuses on the development of young people in Africa. We aim to groom young people to become influential leaders and change-makers in their communities and countries and play a vital role in Africa’s economic and social development. We believe that young people are tomorrow’s leaders; therefore, it is of utmost importance to invest in them positively.

MACYDO focuses on various sectors that play a role in young people’s lives: education, Entrepreneurship, Health, and Entertainment. MACYDO has been operating since 2018. The organization was found in South Africa and has impacted more than 50 young people through our talent-based Saturday classes.

In 2020 MACYDO Education launched a scholarship program in Zimbabwe, and we currently have 20 scholars benefiting from the program. The scholarship program focuses not only on providing education funding for the scholars but also on self-development, leadership, and entrepreneurship training for all our scholars.

In 2021 MACYDO Entrepreneurship pioneered a fellowship program for young entrepreneurs in Zimbabwe – MACYDO Leading Entrepreneurs foR African Development Program (LEAD). The program focuses on empowering entrepreneurs with projects that impact the country.

 

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‘I Use My Platform To Educate People On The Importance Of Herbs’ – Zainab Alatise

“I’d rather have a cupboard full of herbs, than a closet full of heels”, says a popular Herb specialist. Herbs have many practical uses and because of this, they are highly favored by many. Herbs are usually small plants that are used for culinary and medicinal purposes although there are some herbs in use that come from trees and shrubs. The term herb or herbaceous plant refers only to the short-lived, non-woody plants even if they may bear seeds. Herbs are valued principally because of their aroma, flavor and medicinal property.

Herbs have been used by different cultures around the world for thousands of years. The pandemic also caused many to turn to herbs for healing. Ultimately, herbs and spices are an important part of our diet and our health.

Alatise Zainab Oluwatosin is a herbal practitioner, and healer. She is the founder and lead formulator of Ashabioge Herbal, a leading brand in the health and wellness industry in Nigeria.

The Ijebu Ode native obtained her national diploma from the prestigious Federal School of Statistics Ibadan campus.  After a personal health crisis in 2019, which led her to going back to her love of African herbs and roots, Zainab has been  committed to helping more people enjoy their life to the fullest using her tested and trusted 100% pure African herbs.

With her long family history of time tested and proven herbal formulations, which has been handed down for generations. Zainab is also currently enrolled in a world class institute for herbal formulations, in order to ensure that her brand meets with international best practices.

Ashabioge Herbal as a fast growing brand in the health and Sexual wellness industry has catered to people from all over the world, including but not limited to Dubai, the United Kingdom, Botswana, Canada, Chicago, Australia, Ghana, South Africa, and across the length and breadth of Nigeria with tangible results and accolades. The United Nations advocate for SDGs 3 – Good health and wellbeing, and 17- Partnership for the goals, shares her inspiring journey with Esther Ijewere in this exclusive interview.

Childhood Influence

Yes, I can say that my childhood prepared me for what I’m doing now.  I grew up with a large family, and I remember that a time, when I was about 6 or 7 years old, I fell sick for a long time, alongside 2 of my siblings.  We tried different options until my grandmother intervened and prepared something for us that was made from 100% herbs.

Since then, I have recommended that herb to different people, and it has worked for them everytime. That single incident made my family always resort to herbs which has been a huge blessing to us.

Ashabioge Herbal

I was inspired to start Ashabioge Herbal from the need to help others who were going through health challenges and were not seeing the results that they wanted. My desire is to help as many people as possible, improve their health, prevent needless health challenges and live a full and happy life with their loved ones.

Privilege of the herbal formulation passed down to me

Oh yes, I feel very humbled to have access to such wealth of health information that is helping people from all walks of life to live their life to the fullest in good health using 100% herbs from the African soil.

My products

Since 2018 when I officially started making herbal formulations, we have developed  10 products.  All our products are created  for one specific health challenge or the other. Few examples of our best seller formulations are; 1:Sabi men (for quick ejaculation, weak Erection, low Libido etc )2: Jedi ( for detoxification of excess sugar and toxins .)3: Herbal flusher (serves as general antibiotics for both male and female.) 4: hypertension tea ( The tea is formulated to cater for high blood pressure )

These products have sold in over 6 countries with hundreds of tangible results and testimonials from our esteemed customers.  This has made our customers free brand ambassadors who always recommend our products to their family and friends . Our vision at Ashabioge Herbal is to be a world class brand.

Institute of herbal formulations

In 2019, I actively started looking out for international training to help us realise our vision and the institute of Herbal Academy was recommended to me by a friend.  The aim of the institute I  is to help herbal formulators do better in formulation I am so happy that I went for the opportunity because our work has improved in the following areas; 1: Preservation, 2: Formulation  3: packaging

Challenges of my work

Logistics ( sending herbs to some countries from Nigeria is so difficult sometimes I have to first send to a particular country then move it from there to final destination this means I will get someone in the first country to collect for then send to final destination this is not free the person will charge me.Getting fresh herbs is so difficult too sometimes we have to use dried ones instead

Other projects and activities

Currently working on having some of my herbs in a capsule, tea bag and  hopefully our Jedi will be in CAN like a drink soon. Many people want to take herbs but they hate the bitter taste of some herbs so having such herbs in a capsule for people like that will be okay. Also many wants to drink there Jedi on the go that is why I will working JEDI soon

What I enjoy most about my job

Creating new recipe (I love it when I create new recipe for any health issues)

The women who Inspire me and why

My mum and my big sister Damilola Ewa. My mum has been so supportive even though at first she said must you do what your father does, why not get work with your certificate Tosin. People will fear you, this kind of business is not for a young woman like you and all sort but when she noticed I have not been going to hospital like I used to nor did I fall sick regularly like before she has been the one referring customers she taught me herbs her grandma thought her and her prayers has been working in my life and business

My sis Damilola, we met on Facebook she is a blessing despite being in the same business with me she kept showing me I have never seen a more beautiful soul than her and she is doing wonderfully well in the herbal industry too

To young women who want to go into the herbal business

They should get their formulation right and not just sell because everyone is selling herbs there is trend I noticed recently people sell because they see others selling which is very very wrong

Whatever business model you want to venture into, the first thing is to learn and research.

Changing the misconception and narrative about herbs

I use my platform to educate my audience on importance and uses of herbs I do advice them to also seek professional guidance not just use DIY (do it yourself) they see on the internet

What I wish to change In the Herbal sector

Make herbs accepted globally many people still believe herbs are not safe which is not true herbs is safe

Being a Woman of Rubies

I always look out for the girl child and educate the ones around on sex education I choose this topic because of what I have seen while growing up a lot of girls that we grew up together many young girls then under 17 got pregnant many of them did not even understand what sex is and the implications of having sex at a very tender age  .

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Ruqoyah Ogunbiyi Is Advocating For Children’s Mental Wellness Through “Sane Mind”

Ruqoyah Ogunbiyi  has a degree in pharmacy and a master’s degree in child and adolescent mental health.

Today she is a child and adolescent mental health professional and founder of Sane Mind,a child mental health organization providing accessible mental wellness solutions for African Children.

Over the past six years, Ruqoyah has built her expertise in child mental health designing interventions that promote mental wellness in children and address academic, behavioral, and emotional challenges children go through. She has trained over 5000 parents, teachers, and corporate professionals on different aspects of mental health.

Through her organization, she has consulted for over 100 families on confidence building, family therapy, and child psychotherapy.

Ruqoyah has a degree in pharmacy and a Masters degree in child and adolescent mental health from Africa’s premier Centre for Child and Adolescent Mental Health where she finished among the top 3 in her class.

She’s been featured in The Guardian, The Nation, LTV and Arise TV. She is also one of UNICEF’s mental health experts.

Thanks for keeping the environment safe and sane. We celebrate you.

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‘I founded Tiny Beating Hearts Initiative To Save Premature Babies’- Petra Akinti Onyegbule

Petra Akinti Onyegbule wears many hats graciously, the hardworking sociologist and political communications strategist with experience which spans 15 years in the areas of advocacy and public relations campaigns in the public and private sectors is also a successful entrepreneur and advocate.

She was the Chief Press Secretary to the Kogi State Governor between 2016 and 2019, and Senior Special Assistant on Electronic Media prior to that.   Her foray into advocacy started in 2006 on the Advocacy efforts of the Catholic Church on Oil and Gas Resource Utilisation in Nigeria.

She is currently the founder of Tiny Beating Hearts Initiative where she rallies support to save premature babies using her resources and mobilizing skills to create awareness on prematurity in Nigeria.

Petra is also the director of Libraprime Communications – a public relations agency that has pitched and executed strategic briefs, leveraging strong media contacts and reach in the industry ecosystem, for delivering high-value to client projects. The multi-tasking entrepreneur is the brain behind fast rising clothing line; Anike Robert Clothing (ARC) a brand that provides integrated marketing for experiential and point of sales channels.

She shares her inspiring story, her passion to save preterm babies, and how her clothing line is gaining momentum in this exclusive interview with Esther Ijewere.

Growing Up

I never really thought about my childhood in relation to the work I have done since my adulthood. But I would say that I grew up in a liberal environment; where even though, it was not the norm to question myths, to question how things were done, to question culture, I was too inquisitive to obey the rules. I have such an inquisitive mind that it was just natural for me to question. So I kept questioning and I kept doing what I now see to be some sort of informal and loose advocacy because I wondered why things were done in a certain way and why they couldn’t be done in a certain way. So it was informal but you know, yes, I did that. I was encouraged by what I saw my mom and siblings did to always speak and stand up up for those who couldn’t do so for themselves. So I would say that yes, in some way, my growing up helped. But more importantly, I grew up having some sort of self-independence. I could do a lot of things for myself at a very early age. So it helped shape my perspective on life and the fact that If I want or need something done, I have to work for it. Yes, it did.

Tiny Beating Hearts Initiative

The inspiration for Tiny Beating Hearts Initiative came from experiencing prematurity from my own daughter who was born at 25 weeks. She was in the neonatal intensive care unit of the national hospital, Abuja for 80 days. She was so helpless it broke my heart. She couldn’t even breath on her own for so long and she had to be on assisted respiration. By the time she was discharged, and we went home, the experience was a different level from what I had in the hospital. Going home meant I was the nurse, I was the primary carer and that I was basically responsible for her. A lot of responsibilities that the doctors, the nurses and the other health workers took on in charge of her in the hospital were transferred basically to me. And in the hospital I saw how tough it was for some families. Oh they  had it tough and rough. Showed me that there is a socio-economic nexus to survival of premature babies and small babies. So I set up Tiny Beating Hearts Iniative to advocate for the rights of every child to live  regardless of the socio-economic background into which they are born and to also help provide material and psychological support for parents with premature babies, the kind I didn’t have twelve years ago when I had my own baby.

The journey so far

The journey has been tough, chiefly because it takes its psychological toll on me and on some of the team members I have worked with over time. I have never had to make it an organisation where I paid people to work with me to ensure that the vision is kept alive. I have always relied on volunteers. It’s been tough, because it’s the same people over and over again, who have been supporting us. Of course, there are situations where in certain places, it is so difficult for us to get access to facilities with incubators. Facilities that are actually well equipped to take on these babies and we have to teach Kangaroo Mothercare, excellent hygiene and nutrition so that bigger premature babies can have their shot at life and are saved. So it’s been tough but what keeps us  going is the fact that you know, you see babies whose parents appear helpless, are actually helpless at the time when they need our intervention and you get testimonies from their parents 5 years later, 6 years later, 10years later and they are saying thank you and they are giving you progress reports. It makes all the stress, makes all the efforts, makes all the heartache worth it. Of course, we had situations where that no matter what we did the baby didn’t survive, that’s really heartbreaking. But over all, it’s been a fulfilling experience because the whole essence is to ensure that no child is left to die regardless, so long as the heart is beating however tiny, it deserves to live. That’s the philosophy. And so we go out of our way, we bend over, backwards we go above and beyond to make sure that happens. Our supporters and partners, they’ve been very steadfast, as a matter of fact, their belief in the project is what has kept us going for long. We are grateful to them and we are thankful for all the lives we have been able to save.

Libra Prime Communications

Libra Prime Communications is a perception management firm which deals largely with regulatory compliance audits. What we do is we undertake perception management on behalf of firms and sometimes, individuals. It is a PR firm but PR in such a way that when firms have issues with their regulators, we step in for  independent audit on whether the firms have complied with recommendations by regulators.

Politics and Advocacy

I didn’t switch from politics to advocacy. Advocacy is what I have always done; my first job post NYSC was as an advocacy officer on a Catholic Church’s project. I have also done advocacy as an independent consultant for a long time. I worked at CBAN – Credit Bureau Association of Nigeria as the first Executive Secretary and Advocacy officer. So advocacy is what I have always done, that’s my major forte. Politics is ubiquitous and I am very interested in the political processes because they determine governance to a significant extent. drawn to politics because there is nothing we do in life that  politics has no bearing on, so I decided to be involved in the political process. I have not switched, I basically just do both hand- in- hand. Because when you talk about advocacy, you are advocating for something to be done, for a policy to be implemented or promulgated. How do you do that without getting involved in the political process? I mean the very basic definition of politics is who gets what, when and how, the how could be through advocacy so I think they both go hand-in-hand. But I have not even left politics. I didn’t switch, I am still a politician. Because I believe that we need to get involved. We need to get involved as much as possible in the political process. Otherwise we lose all the rights to complain about how certain things are done or not done. So it is not a switch. It is just that at the moment, I am giving more prominence to the job which pays me. Because politics is not my job as it were. Unless at a time when I was appointed in a political role. I was given a political appointment in my state, I did a job. But day-to-day politics doesn’t feed me. And I think that every politician needs a job to go back to everyday. That you know, puts food on the table, that adds to the economy which is what I do with LibraPrime Communications and Àníké Robert Clothing.

Work-Life Balance

I am not going to lie that it’s been easy being a Mommy whilst businesswoman and an advocate. It’s not easy. It is not easy at all. But one thing that has helped me is having a supporting husband, one who sometimes steps up when I have to slack on my duties as a wife and mom. Because something always gives; when there is credit somewhere then an account has been debited. So when there is a credit on my advocacy part, it is probably because my business woman role is suffering or my role as a wife is taking a hit or my role as a mom is taking you know, some hit. So at the end of the day, my balance is in getting people to help, getting people to step in when I am unable to be there. So we just continue to balance it up that way. It is not easy, I am not going to lie. It is not easy. Having a husband who supports, family members,  having a good structure in the office, at work,  having a good business partner, a good social support system,  they all help. And these are how I balance my roles as a wife, an entrepreneur,  a consultant and an advocate on multiple issues.

Motivation behind Anike Robert Clothing Line

I love casual wears. There is a saying about wearing one’s heart on one’s sleeves. I love to wear my feelings on my body. So sometimes I brand   the way I feel and I wear that feeling as a tshirt, tracksuit, hoodie, sweatshirt. I  realised along the line that i couldn’t be the only one whose dressing affected their   moods. I am a mental health advocate, and I strongly believe that the environment,  that the way we dress, our outlook, and people’s perception of us affect our mental health. What better way to control people’s perception of you at first glance than appearance? So you have a philosophy, an outlook, what we sum up as attitude?  You should give that attitude a 100%, brand it, wear it. So that is what the Àníké Robert Clothing is about.

There is an economic side to it,not course. I needed something for daily income, you know, like a side hustle. But somehow, it’s such that, it’s surpassed my expectations such that it is now as important as  LibraPrime Communications as the main game.

And my journey in the last one year has been phenomenal; a testament to my philosophy that everything in life has got its pros and cons. Because you see I owe part of the initial success of  Àníké Robert Clothing partly to the pandemic. Because more and more, the way people work and live generally has changed; with companies telling people to work from home,  people not necessarily having to meet at a particular location for a meeting and so more and more, people had to and having to a little less formally. People are beginning to go casual. People are beginning to wear their attitude. So these are some external factors that have  contributed to the pace with which we are growing. Others are the fact that we sell more than the quality of our clothes, which is great if I say so myself; we sell pleasant business experience which keeps over 80% of our clientele as repeat customers.

In the next five years, I see this brand having its own factory and scaling up in the manufacturing of shirts, hoodies and tracksuits. I  see us going into other areas of merchandising and clothing and hopefully, that will happen in the coming five years. That’s the dream.

There have been a lot of challenges of course, but the rewards, both monetary, growth and  lessons  learnt have been awesome.

Challenges 

Number 1 challenge I faced at the beginning and for months  was staffing . Getting my staff to  understand the concept and embody the spirit of excellence, now that was a challenge.  But we have surmounted the hardest part of this and continue to strive to be better. At ARC, now they know that there is nothing like “na small remain. Díẹ̀ lo ku. It is nearly perfect”. If a customer has paid for something, then we’ve got to deliver that. We have all adjusted to this philosophy and making excellence a culture.

The other challenge would be electricity. The erratic supply and rates. Tariff has changed twice in one year. Yet, I don’t get optimal value. Then inflation. My goodness! Production cost keeps fluctuating and highly unpredictable. That’s quite unnerving. Because it makes planning more difficult.

Everyday, there is a price increase in this and that. And this makes the market unpredictable. This unpredictability of it affects me a lot, it leaves me in a fix. Sometimes, we say “oh, the difference is just ₦20 per piece or yard for this particular material but then  I calculate how many of that item I am getting and there are times I  want to throw my hands up in the  air.

3 Women who Inspire me and why

The first person who inspires me to be a better human is my mom. She is incredibly kind, compassionate and humane. That inspires me a great deal. I learnt about dignity in labour and contentment from her. And regardless of everything life has thrown her way, her spirit has remained strong. Even her name inspires me because it becomes some prayer for me every day – Oluwamajente – God, please do not let me be disgraced. Let me not fall from this pedestal. So her life, her person, her name inspires me.

The second person is Prof Dora Akunyili for being a woman of strong conviction and sticking no matter what.

Since you’re limiting to three, the third will be Indira  Nooyi, the former president of Pepsi Co.

Women’s participation in Politics

My views on women participation in politics is that it is not enough. We need to do more. We really  need to do more. And that we need to have an agenda. We need to go all the way, we need to be with partners who understand what it takes for a woman to be involved in politics and would support us to make the sacrifices that a woman needs to make in politics. Now, I think that women also need to, we are doing it, we are doing it; more and more, women need to develop thicker skin because there is a lot of slut-shaming of women in politics. However, it is not going to stop, it is not stopping anytime soon. So whilst we continue to make that advocacy so to say let us deal with women on the merits of their credentials, on the merits of their capacities, and on the merits of the value that they can bring into the political space and processes, we also need to continue to forge ahead and ensure that if there’s a meeting lasting into the dead of the night, we are participating all the way and not giving excuses. We should not expect anything to be handed over to us on platter. And we should understand that we need to be tenacious. Of course, there are challenges of money politics, prebendal godfatherism, etc but if we are focused and purposeful and ambitious, something will keep giving until we have a whole new structure and system and landscape. Do I see myself contesting for any position in the future? I say never say never but I do not see myself contesting.

Advice to young women trying to navigate through life

My advice to young women who are trying to navigate through life and find their purpose is this: YOU ARE ENOUGH. Live your life, make your mistakes but always learn from them; when you fall, you rise. Never stay down. Never ever, allow anybody define you by what you’re not. Never allow anyone define you by your limitations. We all have strengths and weaknesses; we can continue to work on our strengths and we develop our weaknesses to ensure that our weaknesses do not define us. In the age of social media, a lot of people are under pressure to fake it till they make it. How about work the course till you become a force? Behind every story, there is a history. Therefore, look for the history and learn the lesson therein.

If you’re reading this and wondering how you can save a preemie, please reach me.

I am also an advocate of mental health, I champion destigmatisation of mental illnesses and encourage those who suffer any illness on the spectrum to seek help.

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I founded Do Good Charity Initiative To Give Marginalised Children And Women A Voice-Folakemi Adesina

Folakemi Adesina is the Founder of Do Good Charity Initiative; a foundation through which she has impacted well over 5000 children and women across different states in Nigeria. She is a seasoned lawyer with exceptional work ethics and a passion for Property Law and Company Secretarial Practice.

 The Olabisi Onabanjo University graduate, and award winning innovative leader is the Lagos State Coordinator for Good deeds day international, a global movement for doing good, she is also the Ambassador for Global Impact Network.

Under her leadership, Do Good Charity Initiative launched JEANS FOR SOCIAL IMPACT PROJECT; where used jeans are upcycled into eco-friendly school bags. This project has impacted over 2000 children in underserved communities

Folakemi is a passionate change agent and humanitarian fuelled by real life situations of children and women living in underserved communities. She strongly believes in poverty eradication amongst people

She  is happily married and blessed with kids. The amazing amazon shared her inspiring journey with Esther Ijewere in this exclusive interview.

Childhood Influence

I was born into a Godly family. My parents were educationists and disciplinarians who valued education and believed in raising a child in a Godly way. As the only girl in the family, I was taught to be useful and responsible, engaging in different activities in the house. I learnt how to work with others, lead with confidence, and contribute my quota to my community in my little way. My parents actively participate in community services in church and with their permission, I started volunteering at a tender age. Growing up, I was essentially taught to stand up for what I believe in.

Inspiration behind Do Good Charity Initiative

I am happy to be amongst people making positive changes in the world. I founded Do Good Charity Initiative because I want to give children and women a VOICE and a chance at a better life. I started volunteering at a very tender age, as far back as 2004. My volunteering experience started with Garnet Youth Foundation in Osogbo, Osun State. As a serial volunteer working with children, I had a better understanding of their struggles. I have seen how hard children and women work to meet their basic needs. This fueled a desire in me to address real-life situations of children and women living in slums and underserved communities. The organisation was founded to lift children and women out of poverty.

Our activities include (but not limited to):,Food banking, Love Without Limits (an annual food and clothing drive outreach), Jeans for social impact (school bags and shoes swap program),Undies for every child (awareness on prevention of child sexual abuse), Women Empowerment programs

The journey so far

The journey has been fantastic, filled with different experiences and challenges. Putting smiles on people’s faces makes me fulfilled. The major challenges that comes with running an NGO are Management and Fundraising. As a nonprofit organization, we rely solely on public financial support, and seeking such funds comes with accountability and transparency on public benevolence. To ensure this, we carry out in-depth research to identify the most vulnerable, ascertain their exact needs and work towards meeting those needs.

Jeans for social impact project

Growing up as the only girl in the family was so much fun. My mum made it a priority, despite all odds to always give me the best. She so much believed in UPCYCLING – not that I knew what it was called at the time. But you see, she never allows any of her Ankara (printed) or lace materials to go to waste. Before you know it, an ‘anko’ (uniform attires) has been made from those materials for my brothers and I; with matching slippers for me.This fueled my passion when I founded Do Good Charity Initiative; to address the physical and psychological needs of children living in underserved communities. JEANS FOR SOCIAL IMPACT was born out of a desire to meet the major needs of children while saving the environment. It is an upcycling project where jean wears are turned into school bags and lunch boxes for children in need of them.

Textile waste is the third-largest contributor to dry waste in Nigeria and is a massive environmental problem. Therefore, if a pair of jeans is upcycled, the electricity and water needed to make a new product can be conserved.

Impacting over 5000 children across Nigeria through my work

As an advocate, I’m able to go beyond ‘passion’ and ‘talks’ to identify needs and solve tangible problems people (orphans, widows, women, and children living in slums) face. Illiteracy is part of the non-education problem, with Nigeria having one of the highest out-of-school rates. This is why I’m working to ensure that these children are enrolled in schools; provided with books, bags, shoes, uniforms, and encouragement. Beyond immediate needs, empowering women through vocational training, to be able to cater for their children, are parts of the projects I am working on. I believe, and it’s important, we don’t leave any child behind because they all matter. Anybody can be an advocate for anything as long as the interest is honest. I also feel that there’s so much more I need to do so, so many lives to be touched

The  society, the act of giving and it’s knowledge of Charity

To an extent. Nigerians are known to be among the most generous people on the planet. In a recent global survey conducted by the World Giving Index, it was discovered that almost two-thirds of Nigerians spend time helping another human being.

The goodness of heart of the Nigerian people is reflected in their donations to the needy. The act of giving brings together Nigerians, to help them achieve a common goal of helping those who are less privileged than them. However, we need to keep creating awareness on generosity and kindness; celebrating acts of giving and the importance of giving back to the society.

Challenges

Getting the required funding and sponsorship to support our projects is one of the major challenges we face. From companies to partnering with other Non-governmental organizations, to seeking support from our local audience, this challenge has posed itself as an opportunity to put our best foot forward by engaging in strategic communication, follow-ups, networking activities, and strategically positioning ourselves for better prospects. There’s still a long way to go through.

Another challenge we are faced with is identifying beneficiaries that are truly in need and streamlining their numerous needs. With operations in one of the largest cities in Africa, the rate of poverty and illiteracy is relatively higher. However, we can only reach a number of communities (and people) due to limited resources.

Some other challenges include; lack of fairer distribution of resources, political interference in development issues, and the lack of potential human resources. As a humanitarian, I believe in empowering people and as we seek to expand our reach, we ensure that whatever resources we get are fully utilized to meet the direst needs (in line with the organization’s mission and value).

 3 women who inspire you to be better and why?

Malala Yousafzai, her story inspires me a lot and I admire her love for girls and her passion for access to quality education.

Mrs. Ibukun Awosika is another extraordinary woman who inspires me through her works. From her teachings, I have understood how I can multitask; being a wife, a mother and at the same time a workaholic. She’s one worthy of emulation.

Michelle Obama. She stands out as one of the most passionate and accomplished First Ladies in history because of her charisma, compassion and powerful speeches. I’m also inspired through her works with girls – funding girls’ education and tackling everything from leadership to poverty.

Being  a woman of rubies 

Folakemi Adesina is a woman of rubies and more. She is just the right blend of beauty and brains. Comfortable in her own skin, releasing positive vibes, innovative, and with quick wits. I’m a lady of good values and one of those unique individuals with a heart for humanity.

Other projects and activities

Good Deeds Day is an annual tradition of good deeds. All over the world, hundreds of thousands choose to volunteer and help others, putting into practice the simple idea that every single person can do something good, be it large or small, to improve the lives of others and positively change the world. I’m privileged to be the Lagos State Coordinator of Good deeds day Network

Good deeds day was launched in Lagos state on October 6th, 2021, Lagos is the commercial nerve center of Nigeria. The city is home to so many wonderful organizations working hard to make Nigeria a better place. A lot of young individuals are hungry for change who are willing to devote their time and resources to making the world a better place. We want these individuals to be part of this network of change agents within Lagos and other states in Nigeria. Our aim is to make this day where we will bring together all good-doers, volunteers, charity organizations, schools, universities, religious groups, companies etc. to do good. The initiative’s aim is to promote generosity and Kindness. The initiative makes it easy for people to #InspireGoodness. The next Good deeds day comes on April 3rd, 2022. The initiative allows citizens across the globe to make a difference in their communities throughout the year.

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