Because we all get in our way. We all turn away from what brings us most alive.

Women on the adventure called showing up for your life, let’s flip right into doing something fresh, shall we? Let’s outsmart and go past doing things the same old way.

Here are 8 simple ways to get your scary tasks done:

# 1 – Ask: What would you tell your best friend to do next, if she was in the same situation and asked your advice?

First thoughts – quick write them down as they pop up your head.

Now go do that next step that you would so applaud your BFF for doing.

# 2 – Give up thinking there’s a right way to deal with your fear (because there isn’t)

Maybe you like to hip check your fear into the corner and tell it to shut up. Or maybe you like to greet your fear with a gentle “Hello. What do you need to be okay with me moving forward? Because forward I will go.” Or maybe outside support in the form of coach or a class works best for you.

There’s no one “right” way to handle fear. What matters is that you don’t let it run your life. Remind yourself you are not fear. You have plenty of resources to get through whatever situation you’re in. And please forget the idea of managing fear “spiritually” or the“right” way. That kind of reasoning is usually a sign fear is running you.

So if you find yourself thinking that you aren’t managing fear correctly, consider that just might be fear’s voice in your ear.

# 3 – Forget beginning at the beginning

Beginning is simply starting.

Thinking you need to know the perfect beginning of your project before you can start can keep you stuck for years, send you looping back to begin the perfect beginning again and again. Jump in anywhere. Do something. Then ask, “What’s the next simple step?” Repeat.

Yes, at some point, it’s useful to step back and access where you are going, to see if you are reasonably on course but not at the beginning. You don’t know enough. You may know next to nothing which makes you afraid and sends you back to “start again the right way.” Resist!

#4 – What if you aren’t afraid (confused, overwhelmed, self-doubting, etc.) but you need to strengthen your emotional immune system?

We aren’t afraid of change, we are afraid of being undefended. This makes sense when you think of how we lived for most of our human history: in tribes, where it was safer.

The idea is to figure out what to do to help yourself feel safe (or defended) while taking action on things that you care deeply about but that also scare the crap out of you.

How can you do that? There are lots of ways. One is the micro-practice of calming your nervous system throughout the day. Whenever you notice yourself flipping out or numbing out, savor your breath, extend your exhale, and feel your body here – safe and present.

#5 – Your future self knows zilch.

Your brain regularly convinces you that your future self will be a far better, smarter, more disciplined person that the current you . That’s why we say things like “Tomorrow I’ll start exercising!” or “Next week I will do deep work for two hours before I check social media every single day.” Only there is no future self. When tomorrow or next week arrives, it will be you that arrives, too.

Don’t let this truth depress you! The you you are today is totally sufficient! She is more than good enough to make your project a reality. Waiting for your better future self is another of fear’s ploys to keep you safe – aka, in the same place.

To bring your future self together with your current self, do something you like to do while taking action on what you’re putting off. I’m listening to slow music while I write this. Maybe yours is co-working with a friend while you do your scary s tuff or wearing your favorite outfit while making that hard phone call.

Pleasure plus action!

# 6 – Forget visualizing your success

Research has shown that focusing on being done and dusted and aglow with success with your project is actually demotivating. I personally find it makes me all uptight and pushy, rather than open and consistently taking joyful action.

Instead of visualizing your ideal end result, feel yourself in process. What does it feel like in your body to be having a great sales conversation with a prospective client? Visualize yourself closing the deal.

Weave in small moments of feeling your process throughout your day, especially when you feel lost or afraid. Let the body help you get into action.

# 7 – Name your intrinsic motivation

You’ve no doubt heard that focusing on extrinsic rewards (praise, money, promotions, best-seller list) has limited efficacy when it comes to your long term motivation. As long as you feel the playing field is fair, extrinsic motivation is another way to decrease your willpower and your pleasure, and even increase procrastination.

Get familiar with why you’re doing your scary stuff for yourself. This doesn’t mean you can’t be motivated by serving others; however, being motivated by the desire to serve is very different than wanting to be recognized for serving.

Reflect: Why you are doing your scary stuff? Meaning, agency, doing high quality work, experiencing flow, and progressing or learning are common intrinsic motivators as is the pleasure of doing your thing.

Whenever your fear snarls at you or you fall into comparison hell, take a moment to remember this intrinsic motivator.

# 8 – Be Enough Now

If you never did another thing, never overcame whatever is in your way, never brought your genius to life, it doesn’t matter. That’s because your essential goodness, your beautiful beaming heart, your humanity as it is now, would be in no way diminished.

You are not your work. You are not what you do.

You are light, you are pure love. Right now.

I’m not telling you this to make you feel good. I’m stating a fact. And when you grasp this fact (even for a few breathes) you realize that all the scary stuff in the world is an illusion. It’s nothing. Then you can do what you want, take action, play along. Because it’s engrossing, because you love learning, because you burn to share what you know, but never because you have anything to prove about who or what you are.

Because you don’t.

But then you knew that, didn’t you?


Please take one of these ideas and put it into play – your way.

Let one idea lead you to take action on what you most want to create, to build, to love into being.

Why wait when you can act NOW!?


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