Zambia - Women of Rubies

In self development March 1, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NASILELE MUYANDI: PEARLS AROUND MY NECK (VALUE OF A WOMAN)

I once went to cosmopolitan shopping mall in my home town, in Lusaka Zambia, and as I
was window shopping, I stopped to look at jewellery in the American Swiss store, and while
in the store, my attention was caught by a pair of beautiful pearls and a necklace, my eyes
wide open and face glowing, all I thought of was “I need to get these”. I turned to the store
attendant to confirm the price I was looking at, (seemed expensive to me) and with a smile
she looked at me and said,” yes it is K5, 000($ 500).I smiled and said thank you, as I was
about to walk out the store, she said the value of pearls is like that of a woman, rare but well
deserved.

I walked away with a smile, but her words made a statement to my spirit. It brought me to
the realization of a woman’s true worth ,How it is mostly, underestimated, over looked,
taken for granted ,(even by herself),just as I thought the price of those pearls would have
been. Today ,many of us do not only know, but don’t realize the value that comes with being
a woman, Many today don’t realize that the value they carry can change not only their lives,
but our world, and that with our diverse values, color, stature, zeal and caliber, the value of
the pearls around your neck remains the same, as a woman, accept who and what you are
,and work towards preserving and improving that, if we as women value our worth, we will
create a platform for the opposite sex, and the feminist fighting for our voice to be heard. A
platform where a woman will be accepted as strong, intelligent, a decision maker, a worthy
human being to be heard, to be taken seriously, and for all this to come to reality, we need
as women to realize the our worth, we need to realize that we are deserving of rare pearls,
and because we are rare, our uniqueness stretches beyond clothes, weaves and designer shoes.

Ladies the value of pearls will never vary depending on the environment, whether
you are the richest woman on earth or an average woman, the pearls around your neck
have the same value, we should not be defined by society, by the environment around us,
nor the voices that constantly speak less of who we are. Pearls are preserved, they are
guarded jealously, and as women, we need to preserve our character even at the point we
fight for our rights, we need to constantly improve our selves through knowledge, upgrading
our skills, research and making sure we are well acquainted with our environments and see
where a hand is needed, and see where a voice is to be heard. Lastly, the value we have
within is and can be the push needed by another woman, a hand and support given to a
fellow woman will not reduce your worth and value, but rather improve your character and
there will be an increase in the number of confident women.

We all are deserving women.

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.

In self development February 22, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NASILELE MUNYANDI: SUBMISSION

There are many myths surrounding the term “submission” in the world today, many look at submission as a point of weakness, a point of slavery, and a place of discomfort, hence it becomes one position many don’t want to be found in.Today we look at submission from a different angle, one which may help many women not to fall short nor prey to those ahead or above them.

Submission is defined as an action of accepting or yielding to a superior force, or the will or authority of another person. And with this definition, the world today uses a certain language and tone when addressing women about submission, it is said that submission takes away your voice and will power, in turn makes one a slave, this can’t entirely be blamed on the world or society at large .But due to the fact that we live in a male dominated world and 75% of decisions are made by men. Submission from a different perspective would help us as women have a respected voice and our plight heard. I recently finished reading Michelle Obamas, “Becoming”, and in her acknowledgements, she thanks Barack for continued support and companionship, and we read in her book how Barack plays a role in her becoming the woman she is today. Michelle Obama is a woman many young women and girls look up to, and want to emulate, and this brought me to a point of looking at submission in a way very different, a way of getting support, getting a push from another and having someone support your dreams and ambitions, while they hope you become the best version of yourself.

Growing up in urban Zambia, I have seen so many women move from being a house wife to getting an education through the support of their spouces,I for one was a junior accounts clerk reporting to a management accountant who through my submitting to his authority and instruction ,gave me an opportunity to learn and improve more in my work, I was trained and equipped to take up many accounting tasks and was made ready to deliver anywhere, yes there are tough days, days you feel the pressure, days you feel the teaching is tough, but the attitude used in the process of submission will either build or crush your growth, and it builds capacity in that you don’t only better yourself but rather you learn traits that the people who have gone ahead of you , only you can make them better and work to your own growth. Submission starts in our homes ,at an early age, we are taught how to walk, to eat, to clean wash and take care of ourselves, we receive guidance on how to make sound decisions, that will help us become better people, and because we submit to that counsel we grow in mind and soul. Secondly in our professional or rather the market place, we have our bosses or directors, and supervisors who at times, we feel push us too hard, especially at a time we feel we have done enough and our best, we tend to resist, but if we did our part with the right attitude and look at them as our teachers, as people that want to see us maximize our potential, not just for the organizations but for our personal growth, we will embrace these lessons. The third place where submission is mostly misinterpreted in a life of a woman is in a love relationship.be it in marriage or courtship. I am a newly married, and a working wife, my personal experience in terms, submission has taught me a lot, it has brought me to a point of knowing my strength and limits, through taking into consideration the needs of my husband and daily taking care of his needs, which in turn has given me a different kind of perspective, he supports my endeavors and pushes me to not hold back but rather go for my dreams. Lastly I sit under the training and mentorship of a great woman of God; she is a wife, a pastor, mother and mentor, not forgetting an entrepreneur.

She is a strong woman but submits to her husband and takes counsel from those who have gone ahead of her in spiritual and personal matters, I have learnt from her zeal and approach, I see how she becomes stronger and better. I each day look at the queen of England who runs the greatest Monarchy in the world, yet married for 70 years and heeds counsel from her husband, looking at all these amazing women, all the superiors I have come across in career ,social and spiritual circles brought me to a conclusion that a place of submission doesn’t take anything away from us as women, but rather can be used as a process to learn and improve, through the lessons and advice of our superiors and predecessors, My encouragement to a girl out there, a woman who seeks to grow, don’t always look at submission as a place of denial, but rather learn from those who are above you ,and use the lessons for your growth and empowerment.

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.

Photo credit: betrendsetter.com

In self development February 15, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

NASILELE MUNYANDI: PITY PARTIES (MY KIND OF PARTY)

It was 5 o’clock in the morning of July in 2008,my good friend joy called me to inform me that acca had released results for our June sitting, and she was so excited because of all four papers we sat for ,she cleared all. I was so happy for her and at the same time, a great deal of anxiety filled my whole system. Lying on my bed I couldn’t wait for 8 o’clock so I could go to the nearest café and check for my results. That semester I sat for three papers and I cleared one only, I remember sitting in the internet café ,wondering what to do from that point, how I would break the news to my parents, how I would tell my friends I had failed when they all had cleared their exams.it tore me apart and pushed me into a kind of frustration that awarded me an opportunity to throw the biggest party ever, “the pity party”

I remember how for almost a month all I could do was wonder why me, I felt it was unfair because according to me, I had put in my very best and I deserved to clear, I shut out every possible help to pick myself up and think of the way forward, it was like no one understood what I was going through but myself, I looked at every one as though all they did was mock me and not see my frustration. For a moment I really felt I was entitled to all hurt and pain and everyone should let me enjoy it because it was my pain and hurt, no matter how long it took, I should be left alone in it.

Pity parties may seem ok, and the world knows a woman for hosting the best ones….hahahaha ,but truth be told, we are living in a time where invitations to a pity party are never accepted, cry it out, but wake up, dress up and start over, we live in times where we are constantly reminded that the world owes us nothing, hence when we fall, even on our faces, we need to find courage, and pace to move forward, for those that hurt or disappoint us, for all those that betray us, not even when we feel we need the apology ,will it always come, what we need is to find a place within yourself to dust yourself up and rise up, push until your circumstance move. I recall receiving a call from a friend I least expected, and the question that made me put myself together and get back to the drawing board was, who do you expect to apologize for your failure? And who do you expect to make it right if you won’t own up and do the right thing???i remember their words often when I feel low or rather want to give up, i remember he said, the world owes you no apology nor sympathy, if you need change, there is still a great chance to study hard and make it, but if the music at your pity parties is enjoyable, know you will party yourself into failure and serious depression.

Ladies, we need to get out of our entitlement mode and be willing to put in the hard work, we need to stop expecting the world around us to always understand our plight, mediocrity is slowly being dealt away with, and soon, not even

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.