Now, this LONG POST is not to fight any gender unless you would rather perceive it that way. I am unapologetic over this post please note. I have never been apologetic over any of my posts anyway.
I am yet to see a man who does not have a female in his life be it his daughter, mother, cousin or even a friend, so it would be very awkward if anyone interprets this post as a fight against men.
It is still January, it’s a new year, this is the time we really need to be hitting hard on very serious and sensitive matters lest this year ends the same way it has always been for many Nigerian women. . Why do we avoid telling ourselves some hard truth no matter how uncomfortable they may sound?
Listen and listen good, In Nigeria, a stay at home mum has dug her own grave already. Are such women for real at all? Listen o, no matter how good a man is, a woman who is totally dependent on her husband in 2017 is a sorry case.
Let me say this, when I was in the Banking industry working as a marketer, 99% of the married men who opened an account through me didn’t use their wives as next of kin. I was forced to ask some of them at some point why they didn’t do that? Their reason,” Ah! If they died, the woman will marry another man”.
I asked – So if you die, who will take care of the kid(s) you left for the woman? They all had no answers.Many Nigerian men hardly have long term plans for their immediate families but their wives are still playing the dutiful wives.
Death is inevitable, a man can die first, a woman can also die first,. In a situation where the man is the sole provider how do such women intend to cope with the kids? They will turn into beggars abi? In Nigeria, most times the moment a man dies, whether he left a will or not, his greedy family members can swoop on his assets. It is pathetic that Nigerian women who can’t mention the topic of writing a will to their husbands, they cant even suggest joint ownership of everything are still the same women who fight with all their might to stay married at all cost in a marriage where there is no future for them, worse still, they prefer to be stay at home mums.
Apart from this death thing, here in Nigeria, a man can take as many wives as he want even the ones married under the statutory law, let us not deceive ourselves as if we have not seen it happen time and time again. Or is it from my mouth you’ll be hearing it for the first time that a man married under the statutory law took another wife and nothing happened? Nigerian women don’t sue their husbands for bigamy because they don’t want to be “husband-less” Don’t blame them, it is because Nigerian women are required to approach the gates of heaven with a penis in one hand. .
So when a woman is totally dependent on the man, how would she be able to sort herself out if it is a messy situation she can’t condone? Mfon Abia Effiong wrote on a post and I agree, “Money is a defense”
The last time I checked, Nigeria is still a patriarchal society. Any woman of sound mind who took her time to look through that gender equality bill which our Senators rejected would know that Nigerian women are in “one chance.” What do we spend our time doing sef? Gossiping and back biting even though it doesn’t better your lives when there are real issues which women should focus their attention on. The average Nigerian woman fights to protect her marriage at all cost yet that same marriage she spends all her life fighting for, she is just like a tenant there. Go argue with the rejected bill on gender equality.If you want a copy, I have the pdf one with me.
In Nigeria, if any party should be a stay at home Parent, it should be the man, until women have equal rights as men. Otherwise, in the event of whatever, she stands to lose everything.
Do we think our Senators who rejected that bill were sleeping when they did that? They won’t want to approve that kind of bill because it protects Nigerian women and they don’t want that. They know whether a woman works or not, she has the same rights as the man of the home. They know everything he has ever worked for in his life also belongs to his wife. These things were stated clearly in that bill.
In fact, that gender equality bill would have protected stay at home mums and I would be very willing to advocate that women stay at home and take care of their tender kids as a child rights Advocate since women have nothing to loose, but until then, any woman staying at home regardless if it is her decision or not has dug her own grave already. .
Please don’t come and be writing blablbalablbla here because we prefer to deceive ourselves You are free to “test the waters” with any decision you make as a woman but be very ready to face the consequences.
In this life, a human being of sound mind should be able to think positively and negatively at the same time and we should deploy means of how we won’t fall Victims, most especially if you are resident in a Country like Nigeria and you are a woman.
A Nigerian woman’s brain must be functioning like a wall clock, working every second, you cant afford to “na ge re” (translate in English yourself)
Credit : Bukola’s Facebook Account