I once went to cosmopolitan shopping mall in my home town, in Lusaka Zambia, and as I
was window shopping, I stopped to look at jewellery in the American Swiss store, and while
in the store, my attention was caught by a pair of beautiful pearls and a necklace, my eyes
wide open and face glowing, all I thought of was “I need to get these”. I turned to the store
attendant to confirm the price I was looking at, (seemed expensive to me) and with a smile
she looked at me and said,” yes it is K5, 000($ 500).I smiled and said thank you, as I was
about to walk out the store, she said the value of pearls is like that of a woman, rare but well

I walked away with a smile, but her words made a statement to my spirit. It brought me to
the realization of a woman’s true worth ,How it is mostly, underestimated, over looked,
taken for granted ,(even by herself),just as I thought the price of those pearls would have
been. Today ,many of us do not only know, but don’t realize the value that comes with being
a woman, Many today don’t realize that the value they carry can change not only their lives,
but our world, and that with our diverse values, color, stature, zeal and caliber, the value of
the pearls around your neck remains the same, as a woman, accept who and what you are
,and work towards preserving and improving that, if we as women value our worth, we will
create a platform for the opposite sex, and the feminist fighting for our voice to be heard. A
platform where a woman will be accepted as strong, intelligent, a decision maker, a worthy
human being to be heard, to be taken seriously, and for all this to come to reality, we need
as women to realize the our worth, we need to realize that we are deserving of rare pearls,
and because we are rare, our uniqueness stretches beyond clothes, weaves and designer shoes.

Ladies the value of pearls will never vary depending on the environment, whether
you are the richest woman on earth or an average woman, the pearls around your neck
have the same value, we should not be defined by society, by the environment around us,
nor the voices that constantly speak less of who we are. Pearls are preserved, they are
guarded jealously, and as women, we need to preserve our character even at the point we
fight for our rights, we need to constantly improve our selves through knowledge, upgrading
our skills, research and making sure we are well acquainted with our environments and see
where a hand is needed, and see where a voice is to be heard. Lastly, the value we have
within is and can be the push needed by another woman, a hand and support given to a
fellow woman will not reduce your worth and value, but rather improve your character and
there will be an increase in the number of confident women.

We all are deserving women.

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.

There are many myths surrounding the term “submission” in the world today, many look at submission as a point of weakness, a point of slavery, and a place of discomfort, hence it becomes one position many don’t want to be found in.Today we look at submission from a different angle, one which may help many women not to fall short nor prey to those ahead or above them.

Submission is defined as an action of accepting or yielding to a superior force, or the will or authority of another person. And with this definition, the world today uses a certain language and tone when addressing women about submission, it is said that submission takes away your voice and will power, in turn makes one a slave, this can’t entirely be blamed on the world or society at large .But due to the fact that we live in a male dominated world and 75% of decisions are made by men. Submission from a different perspective would help us as women have a respected voice and our plight heard. I recently finished reading Michelle Obamas, “Becoming”, and in her acknowledgements, she thanks Barack for continued support and companionship, and we read in her book how Barack plays a role in her becoming the woman she is today. Michelle Obama is a woman many young women and girls look up to, and want to emulate, and this brought me to a point of looking at submission in a way very different, a way of getting support, getting a push from another and having someone support your dreams and ambitions, while they hope you become the best version of yourself.

Growing up in urban Zambia, I have seen so many women move from being a house wife to getting an education through the support of their spouces,I for one was a junior accounts clerk reporting to a management accountant who through my submitting to his authority and instruction ,gave me an opportunity to learn and improve more in my work, I was trained and equipped to take up many accounting tasks and was made ready to deliver anywhere, yes there are tough days, days you feel the pressure, days you feel the teaching is tough, but the attitude used in the process of submission will either build or crush your growth, and it builds capacity in that you don’t only better yourself but rather you learn traits that the people who have gone ahead of you , only you can make them better and work to your own growth. Submission starts in our homes ,at an early age, we are taught how to walk, to eat, to clean wash and take care of ourselves, we receive guidance on how to make sound decisions, that will help us become better people, and because we submit to that counsel we grow in mind and soul. Secondly in our professional or rather the market place, we have our bosses or directors, and supervisors who at times, we feel push us too hard, especially at a time we feel we have done enough and our best, we tend to resist, but if we did our part with the right attitude and look at them as our teachers, as people that want to see us maximize our potential, not just for the organizations but for our personal growth, we will embrace these lessons. The third place where submission is mostly misinterpreted in a life of a woman is in a love relationship.be it in marriage or courtship. I am a newly married, and a working wife, my personal experience in terms, submission has taught me a lot, it has brought me to a point of knowing my strength and limits, through taking into consideration the needs of my husband and daily taking care of his needs, which in turn has given me a different kind of perspective, he supports my endeavors and pushes me to not hold back but rather go for my dreams. Lastly I sit under the training and mentorship of a great woman of God; she is a wife, a pastor, mother and mentor, not forgetting an entrepreneur.

She is a strong woman but submits to her husband and takes counsel from those who have gone ahead of her in spiritual and personal matters, I have learnt from her zeal and approach, I see how she becomes stronger and better. I each day look at the queen of England who runs the greatest Monarchy in the world, yet married for 70 years and heeds counsel from her husband, looking at all these amazing women, all the superiors I have come across in career ,social and spiritual circles brought me to a conclusion that a place of submission doesn’t take anything away from us as women, but rather can be used as a process to learn and improve, through the lessons and advice of our superiors and predecessors, My encouragement to a girl out there, a woman who seeks to grow, don’t always look at submission as a place of denial, but rather learn from those who are above you ,and use the lessons for your growth and empowerment.

About Nasilele

Nasilele is a Zambian writer and account assistant with a reputable company in her home country.

Photo credit: betrendsetter.com

Being a child of God, I have heard so many teachings on wholeness, and why it is vital for an individual to live a full fulfilled life  accept oneself as you are and live with the knowledge of what you allow in your life, and how all this can influence where we are and how far we want to go.

I want to share my wholeness lessons, and how it is essential for us to be fully aware of whom we are and live a happy productive life. Wholeness calls for a complete stock take, by this I mean, know what who you are in every good and bad circumstance, know how you are affected by people and situations around you, know your highest points in life and how you react at your lowest??

How do you react when in a bad situation, either you are dumped by a boyfriend, fired from your dream job, falsely accused or even the times nothing goes your way?? How do you treat those around you??Do you beat yourself up each day and blame every one, anything and everything??What about the times we hit it well and win a jack pot??Do we throw away all we have, thinking we have made it?? Wholeness calls for us to know how you react when one steps on your foot. Do you step on them or slap that person for inflicting pain on you, or you accept it couldn’t have been unintentional???How you react shows what is within, your strength, weaknesses, flaws, at times it even reflects the things we are afraid of. It shows how much closure one needs on the events that happen,at times it is a reflection of how much we need to work on our character and growth for the future. There are some wholeness checks one can do to find out how we are doing:

Firstly, accept yourself fully, character, current position, current financial standing, body type, accept there will always be some better than you, and one who is where you want to be, and that what matters is how much you put in to achieve all your dreams and goals. Once you make peace with all this, you will always know your seasons in life and will never compare yourself to another person, because you are fully aware of your uniqueness and are working to improve on that fully.

Secondly, wholeness calls for peace with both situations, and people around you, it calls for an effort to always see that you don’t allow another’s persons negative energy to influence you nor your decision.it interprets fully being responsible for how you react to a situation, and how you let external factors make you feel. Many people around us carry a lot of baggage, hurts and pain, and there will always be an encounter with such a person, but when you have made peace with yourself, negativity will never affect your being in any way. The other aspect of being whole is dealing with all failure, let downs and disappointments. Many times someone lets us down, we tend to bury or medicate instead of finding a solution or let go. We rarely get closure on issues, hence at a later point we least expect, things arise, so if one hurts us ,we need to deal with that issue immediately and get closure to have peace and move on positively, we equally need to learn to apologize if need be, not for the sake of the oppressor ,but yourself, make peace.

Lastly, build a relationship with yourself, make time to connect with yourself and emotions, take time to know how you are doing and see where you need help, and when stuck and not sure, find someone who has gone ahead of you, someone you trust to not tell you what you want to hear, but will willingly help you be the best version of yourself.

Love yourself enough, to not give what is biased.

Pic credit: Khoudia Dip (Pintrest)