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Jane Udoka

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JANE UDOKA: THE LITTLE THINGS OF LIFE THAT MATTERS

The world and life itself is a never ending maze filled with similar looking alleys called twists. Everyone constantly runs and walks through this maze searching for particular and specific life goals. For some, these goals maybe love, suitable life partners, stable income, friends or something as intricate as finding one’s true self. Truth is though, no one knows what she may find at the next corner and while life is generally that uncertain, and nothing can ever fully prepare us for it, there are certain things that can sure help along the way.

I’m and will always be a strong advocate for healthy friendships. Amazing friendships are almost a basic necessity of life. No man is an island they always say and if you want to go far in life, you have to learn to work alone some would also contradictorily say.  Yes, I do believe them both, you know why? Because just as friends can be a  strong help, they can also be your downfall if you happen to come across the wrong ones. Friends are family when you make the right ones, they’re the ones who’ll stretch out their hands and pull you up when it feels like you’re drowning. I’ll strongly say, in navigating this maze called life, get you, a great friend and be one too.

Your essence is something you have to find and stay true to. It’s amazing just how much people undermine this seemingly simple yet so important aspect of life. Your essence is your being, basically speaking it is who you are, what makes you who you are and anything that makes you tick. In the world of ever changing social trends and the glamour filled social media life, your essence is something that staying uncompromisingly true to, will help you navigate this maze. Understanding you are different from any other person, that you are unique and amazing and there’s no other person just like you will always help you find your path in this maze.

Self confidence and self preservation is yet another great help. Often times, along these alleys in this maze, you’ll find people that will seek to grow on you, or put you down just to help themselves in the process. That is when self confidence comes in, understanding that you’re worth so much more. Self preservation simply put means safeguarding your emotions and senses, sifting through yourself and gradually blocking that with disturbs your inner peace.

Inner drive is something that you definitely need in this journey, it’ll push you to always aim higher than the last achieved feat. It’ll be there, to push you and encourage you when you lose your way in the maze, it’ll be there to wake you up and seek ways to improve your life in the maze.

 

About Jane

21 year old Udoka Jane O is a trained  Engineer, She is  a professional freelance writer on Relationship and healthy lifestyles. Jane has written a number of mind engaging articles….
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JANE UDOKA: THE TRANSITION FROM DEPENDENCY TO INDEPENDENCY: WHAT NO ONE ACTUALLY TOLD US

Children are a gift from God, from the moment they are born, to their first significant life moments like their first baby step or their first word, those are all delightful times for their parents. The parents take it upon themselves to guide and steer their kids towards the right paths as they grow and usually the first educational step they take  is enrolling the kids into schools as soon as they’re old enough. Henceforth that first milestone, it is always a parent’s pride and joy to see their ward grow and advance up the educational ladder. A parent would gladly sacrifice a lot just so their kids lack nothing and would do so with joy knowing in the years to come, their reward would come when the children are out of school and  could fend for themselves and their parents as well.

And for us the children, from the moment we graduate from High school or secondary school as the case maybe, we look forward to being admitted into college, graduating from the university with a degree and basically starting our lives independently. Once, admitted into the university there is sort of a countdown on both sides : the parents and the child. They all both envision the world becoming better after graduation. The parents dream of finally relaxing and reaping the fruits of all that sacrifice and the child dreams of rewarding everyone who’s been there through the journey.

And alas! , it’s graduation day, the daughter/ son is a graduate and ready to go into the world. She/he is ready to take the reins from the parent’s and whilst, this is basically how it should be it sadly isn’t in most average cases!

For the child, the string of finances stops coming in from the family or the former sponsors. In return, they start expecting help from you instead. In some lucky cases, the child gets a well paying job and lives up to expectations but in other cases, it’s hard cause then you realize eventually what no one told you that would have better prepared you. Here they are:

  • Be prepared to go broke:

The transition from full on dependency to independency is not an easy one. In most cases, it will be tough cause you’ll be going from the care and reliable finances you had coming in, to fending for yourself. Just before, it becomes stable and better through hardwork, just be prepared to go low  on finances.

  • Get a skill

Not everyone is lucky enough to actually make a living from their college degrees. A skill in  programming, management, business or whatever sector you find interesting would go a long way in the transition.

  • Be prepared to be your own cheerleader

This is really important, the world is a tough place and only the best and tough people can survive in it. In as much as your family loves you, there will still be expectations from them and no one will really understand what you are going through. So, on the bad days, the times when it seems you can’t handle it anymore, you have to be able to brace up and cheer yourself on.

  • Be ready to take risks and try new ventures

There is really no script to life, so be ready to try new ventures not even related to your course of study. It always helps to look within you and figure  out what other skills you have, embark on them and you might just have that smooth transition you desire

All  in all, it’s never easy transitioning but just like every other change, it’s a constant and one we must learn to adopt, no just in going from dependency to independency but also in other spheres of life. Goodluck!

 

About Jane

21 year old Udoka Jane O is a trained  Engineer, She is  a professional freelance writer on Relationship and healthy lifestyles. Jane has written a number of mind engaging articles….
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JANE UDOKA: THE IDEAL WOMAN: THE IDEAL SERIES

All over the world, there are diverse ways an ideal woman is looked upon. Some countries or tribes judge this based on the ethnicity, the looks, the moral disposition, social nature of a woman. Some however even judge this idealism based on trivial things such as her body size, her feminine curves, her sensuality, her height, accent or even the way she walks.  It’s funny and inconsequential but the world has placed insanely high standards on women that some find it quite hard to come to terms and be happy with whom they are.

To us however, these are the standards by which an ideal woman should be measured :

An Ideal woman is an independent woman, she is a woman who is capable of taking care of her emotions, her duties, herself and people who depend on her. She is someone who does not manipulate people around her to do her wishes but instead takes the bull heads on and achieves the task needed. She is a goal getter, a trend setter and one who does not shy away from duties no matter the sexual barriers that are attached to it. She is one that’s able to put sentiments aside and forge ahead with the right things.

An Ideal woman is a purposeful and creative lady, she is a lady with a purpose. She is a career oriented woman with set goals. She is one who sleeps at night and wakes up with a refreshed and energized spirit to fight for her dreams. She is one who does not conform to the world’s standards for good, but seeks to become better with each passing day.

The Ideal woman is a motivator and helper to people around her. She is one who motivates and encourages people around her. If she is in a relationship, or married, she is one who’s not just there in favorable times but even in the gloomy days. She is one who understands and is ready to help whenever and however she can. She is a loyal woman.

Our ideal woman is one who understands that her worth isn’t just defined by her sex. If she is married she is one who knows that motherhood isn’t her totality but also an added role she plays. She is one who focuses on being the best mother and also the career woman she is. She is one who does not accept the people’s definition of a good woman but goes ahead to create her own version of it.

Our Ideal woman is the confident lady.  She is one who is extremely comfortable in her own skin. She is one who is not intimidated by what the world throws at her but takes it and makes the best out of it. She  is one who is not deterred by her failures but rather sees it as a chance to becoming better. She is one who revels in her capabilities and pulls up those all around her . She  is the hard working woman.

 

Photocredit: Google

About Jane

21 year old Udoka Jane O is a trained  Engineer, She is  a professional freelance writer on Relationship and healthy lifestyles. Jane has written a number of mind engaging articles….
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JANE UDOKA: BYE 2018! HERE COMES 2019: TIPS TO A BETTER LIVING IN THE NEW YEAR

All the 365 days of 2018 was a pretty eventful year for me and I’m sure for a lot of people out there. There were the joyous moments, the sad memories, the pretty memorable times and of course the life changing events. Cumulatively, it had it’s lessons and ones we’d be sure to take note of in the never ending quest to becoming better versions of ourselves

Whilst 2018 had a lot of self evaluation lessons in it, these are a few that are definitely worth working with into the new year:

1: Be kind to yourself:

It’s no big secret that the country economy is tough and there are just about enough reasons to worry and beat yourself up over about each day. But, in the midst of all those thoughts and moves towards a better life, never forget to talk to yourself kindly . The world will still be there, even when you’re gone so why not relax a little after a long day, take time off work on the weekends and just enjoy the little things of life, you might just be surprised just how refreshing that would prove to be.

2: Be Expressive yet assertive:

2018 taught me just how much differently people can interpret what we say from what we actually mean. Yes, in the long run, you can’t control how people perceive and interpret your energy but one thing you can do however, is be very clear about your intentions. It saves everyone a lot of stress trying to decipher what you mean exactly at the end and that’s certainly what we want 2019 to be, stress-free.

3: Act and think positively:

A saying goes thus, “ the world will throw stones at you, it is your choice what you make of the stones, a wall against your self or build a bridge to your dreams”. I’d say I’d take the bridge, build an overpass and add an intersection to the whole lot. For every negative thought that crosses your mind, we always have a choice to dwell on it or banish it from us and look onwards with positivity, cause it can only get better this 2019!

4: Find and fuel your passion:

2018 was an enlightening year for me. I got to find out what really mattered and phased out gradually what didn’t. A passion is definitely something you’d want to find and keep doing. It gives life a purpose, it doesn’t necessarily have to be money oriented at the moment, just basically something that lights up your soul and gives you a sense of achievement.

5: Break that routine:

A routine makes life mundane and boring. When done over a long time, it limits one’s thoughts and creates this monotonous outlook on life. Once in a while, take out time to reach out to loved ones, take that trip to that wildlife conservatory you’ve always wanted to see, go see the movies or just enjoy your own company.

Finally, friends are a basic necessity of life, great friends add quality to life, trust me. Make friends that hold you accountable, and push you towards becoming the best you can be.Let’s do better this year!

Happy new year lovelies!.

 

About Jane

21 year old Udoka Jane O is a trained  Engineer, She is  a professional freelance writer on Relationship and healthy lifestyles. Jane has written a number of mind engaging articles….
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