Black love


About 4 years ago, I sat down and asked myself why I was so unlucky in love and ending up with all the Mr wrongs instead of ending up with my Mr. Right? I thought hard for days and that was when I realized there was only one constant in all my years of terrible dating choices. ME.
I woke up one day and said, “If I didn’t work on ‘ME,’ I would never end up with a good man and be a ‘WE’.
For all those years that I had been ‘just being myself’, it always led me down a path to nowhere. Then one day I decided to become the very best ME by learning everything I could about myself and the love department. And everything changed, including the sentence that not only changed my life, but can change yours too.

“Don’t Be Yourself, Be Your BEST Self”
So, if you want to learn about how you can be your best self, then keep reading.
Do you consider yourself the exact same person today that you were a year ago? 5 years ago? 10 years ago?
If you are being truthful, there’s no doubt that you understand that as a human being you are constantly changing. Think about what you were like at your happiest time of your life. Maybe you were in love or were on a great vacation. Think about the way you felt inside.

The way you looked at the world.
Now, do the same thing and think about what you were like during one of the lowest point in your life. Maybe you were just dumped by someone or just got fired from your job. Think about the way you felt inside. The way you looked at the world. The fact is that our life experiences are constantly changing us and on any given day we are gathering up more fuel to fill fire that is our “self.”

The problem with the concept of being yourself is that at any given time our sense of self is different. It is ever changing, which means when someone offers up the advice to just be yourself is that it fails to take into account where you are in your life at any given moment. Let me ask you these two questions: Are you the best you that you can be?” and “Are there areas in your life you can improve on today that will help you tomorrow?” If the answers to both of these questions is “NO” then I ask you, “Should you just go on being yourself or try to make improvements?”

The key to happiness and success in life isn’t about staying in one place (aka BEING); it’s about striving for personal growth and improvement. It’s about continually putting yourself in a position to learn and stretch into positive change. When you understand that, there is little you can’t accomplish in life.

Did you know that being yourself can actually keep you from meeting the love of your life? Imagine for a moment there is a very shy woman named Temi. She is someone who doesn’t like to engage other people very much either in social situations or work settings. Now she is at a party surrounded by attractive, single men. Any one of those men could be the man of her dreams.Since Temi is a shy person, she is being herself and standing in the corner. Nobody comes and talks to her and she leaves the party meeting not one single man.

So because she is being herself and standing in a corner do you think Temi is putting herself in a good position to find that special someone? Of course not.

When you or anyone else enter a situation like a cool party you want to be the very best person “you” can be. You want to show the people in that room the very best of you. Show them that you are a special, confident, authentic person. And for Temi, and people like her, this will take effort.

Let’s take another example where there’s a guy named Damola. Damola is unhappy. The reasons are simple, he’s pushing 40, extremely unhealthy, lives at home with Mom, and spends 10-hours a day watching tv. He wants to find a woman and even does some online dating, but has not had much luck. You need to know that change does not happen over night, but day-by-day those little changes add up!

What do you think Damola’s prospects are at finding true love? Not so good. But if one day he took steps to become the very best Damola he could be, what do you think could happen for him?

If I were Damola’s friend, I would help him to work to improve at least one aspect of his life. It sounds cliché, but it is about being the best person he can be one day at a time.

Maybe he starts working out to get healthy and in shape. Then he makes the goal to go on one date a month. Finally, he makes the big step to look for his own apartment. It may take time, but once he makes the decision to be the best person he can be, happiness and change are soon to follow.

If you are ready to make the positive changes in your life and begin the work it takes to become the very best “you,” that you can be, then I ask you what is one thing you’re willing to do today that get’s you one step closer.

You are a special person who deserves the very best out of love and life and in order to make the changes to achieve that it starts with one decision, a decision to break away from the conventional thoughts about who you are and start thinking about who you want to be. Once you do that there will be nothing you won’t be able to achieve.
To our happiness. Cheers.

Source: Guardian