Chukwuneta Obi: A note to every woman
I thought this message necessary after hearing a young lady’s account of how her supposed boyfriend’s sick fantasy made a mince meat of her self-esteem. Unfortunately, that is what seems to obtain with a lot of ladies out there. Ladies who are consistently allowing someone’s ‘sick fantasy’ destroy any semblance of self-esteem left in them.
When it is not his obsession with an oversize backside, it’s the mountainous ‘front side’. The unfortunate ‘ish’ is…ladies who should know better are letting themselves feel unworthy, even with their ‘modest endowments’.
Isn’t it for the sole purpose of fulfilling some of these sick fantasises of the menfolk that the beauty industries are flooding the markets with ‘add-ons’ like Silicone brassieres, bum and hip wears- meant to add size to a woman’s backside and hips.
Anyway…back to the gist. They had just started going out and prior to their first ‘real meeting’ (you know what I mean?), he had always told her that he fancies women with extra backside. She felt lucky because her friends have always told her that her protruding backside is enviable. Come the day they made love, she asked if he liked what he saw (especially her back side). Guess what his response was? It was with a bored expression (she said she will never forget that expression he had on his face-so fast) on his face, that he shrugged and said, “it’s okay. It just doesn’t shake.’’
This statement made her self-esteem come crashing so hard, such that whenever she sees fellow women with similar endowment, she begins to wonder if hers measures up-in the ‘shaking department’-even when her friends commend her natural endowment –she still says to herself ‘’but it does not shake.’’
How did she come out of this? The very thing her first guy didn’t appreciate in her was one of the things that sent some other person over the moon –in her physical attributes. It was then that she finally said to herself, ‘’wait a minute, I am actually beautiful the way I am and anyone who thinks I must be in a certain way to be appreciated/accepted-obviously does not deserve me.’’
This singular realisation was the beginning of the end of that affair with the first guy. She said that the funny thing about this character is that she liked him enough not to dwell on his ‘barely larger than a giant groundnut’ sized balls. Now that the door of her feelings has been firmly shut in his face, she wonders why he has not hurried after those with ‘shaky behinds’.
Another lady even told me about how a particular character she was latching up to for ‘true love’ made it categorically clear (as a FORE WARNING, actually) that -if any lady that has interest in him is not endowed with a pair of CHEST PLUMS that are as FIRM as ripened oranges-such a lady should not just bother coming close.
I could not believe that a lot of women still allow themselves to listen to these trash-all in the name of FINDING ACCEPTANCE/LOVE.
As a rule of thumb…no relationship will ever hold water with me if it’s all about fleshly desires. There must be substance. I can’t imagine finding myself in a relationship that’s defined by the pleasures that another derives from my body and related services (winks).
I won’t ever be able to get over that feeling of being JUST ANOTHER PLAY THING. I hope every woman out there begins to add VALUE to herself, if any man who claims to want a serious affair with you can’t seem to look beyond your body-please have a re-think about such a relationship. You deserve to be appreciated for the beautiful and wholesome soul that you are and not just a plaything.
Yes, after the steaming bedroom sessions…what other substantial claims can you make about that relationship you find yourself in? Does it add value to your life in any way or are you just a ‘relaxant’?
Some of us will rather be in a worthless relationship than risk being alone. Hello! If the wrong person in your life isn’t shown the exit, there may not be a ‘way in’ for the right person.
As you evaluate that relationship you are currently embroiled in, I leave you with the words of Dawn Raffel …”Letting men determine who we are is the negative hinge that turns desire into vulnerability, changes our bodies from sites of pleasure to sites of betrayal, and transforms solitude into loneliness. I think that when people say they’re lonely, what they’re really saying is that they don’t like their own company. And something should be done about that, because if you don’t like your own company, then you’re the victim of whoever passes by.’’
March 23, 2018
March 23, 2018