I do tell people that one of the most toxic, dangerous thing to do is to keep and nurse grudges. When you hold grudges against someone, you unconsciously become angry, bitter, and miserable…and from there, you proceed to looking for ways to make the person suffer (most especially when you see that the person is happy). Anger, bitterness, misery, grudges, unforgiving spirit, are all unnecessary baggages and you don’t need them in your life, so why don’t you throw them out!
I’m naturally a happy person so I hate any form of negative vibes around me. I don’t like dullness, bitterness, sadness, around me so I always try to make anywhere I am, lively. If you offend me, I will let you know straightaway(even if I have to ‘para’ for you) and if you don’t think the reasonable thing to do is to accept the fact that you have hurted my feelings and apologize, I would forgive you in my heart and forget about the whole drama because I can’t allow you to take my peace of mind and happiness away. People find it surprising the way I straighten people out(by mostly ‘para-ing’ for them) and within the next seconds, I’m back to my playful self with them. Whenever I’m asked how I easily switch like that, my response is always ”Life is too short, my happiness is important, and I can’t allow anything or anyone to block my blessings and happiness ke” If I have issues or disagreement with someone, I always look for ways to settle up and liven things up even if I’m right and the person is wrong. If I see that the person is being stiff and doesn’t want to settle up, I’d scoff and say ”wahala ti e ma niyen o..na you sabi” and move on with my life.
Do you know that when you keep grudges, you unconsiously block your blessings and happiness? Is anything or anyone worth losing your blessings and happiness, for? If you offend someone, what’s the big deal in apologizing to the person? Why wait for an apology before you can forgive? Sadly enough, some people find it hard and demeaning to say ‘sorry’. Some people gets ashamed when it comes to apologizing for being wrong. Don’t be like that. Don’t wait for someone to come and apologize to you before you can forgive. Don’t be proud or ashamed to apologize when you are wrong. Forgive and seek forgiveness for your own happiness and peace of mind. Even the Holy Books emphasize on the importance of letting go and forgiveness. There is one verse in the Bible that says ”Leave room for wrath but the sun must go down on your wrath” and the verse also clearly says that you must not take revenge but you should leave revenge for God. God knows that as human beings, we have emotions and so it is natural for us to get offended but we are not allowed to get too angry and we are not allowed to hold grudges. Trust me, I know how hard it is to let go and forgive, but you need to let go..it is very important. If you find it hard to forgive all on your own (you can’t even do it all on your own without God) talk to God in prayers and ask Him to help you..and He surely will help you.
I see people cursing, bad-mouthing, and causing problems for their exes, all because they dumped them. You don’t need that. Leave them to God and let Him handle them. I see people finding it hard to move on with their lives and learn to love again, because they are still smarting from the bad experiences they have had in their past relationships, and are finding it hard to forgive and forget…I say to you, it’s time to let go. Forget your past, bad experiences. Not every man/woman is going to be like your last partner. There is someone out there who is going to love you like you have never being loved before, and that person won’t be able to find you if you are still living in your past. Let go and let love find you!
Today, decide to throw out the unnecessary baggages you have been dragging around in your life. You don’t need them anymore because they are too heavy for your life and they are slowing your journey to a better, brighter place! It is time to throw out those unnecessary baggages, It is time to let go!
By Lydia Oladejo.
Facebook: Lydia Oladejo
Instagram: @lydiaoladejo
Email: lydiaoladejo@gmail.com