Why don’t we get along with our spouse, parents, kids or other important people in our lives as much as we’d like?
The reality in the lives of far too many people is that their relationships with those closest to them are too strained, difficult, and disconnected to think they’ll ever get along.
Maybe you have heard these statements…
“He just doesn’t get me,” from a son who had tried several times to explain why he chose a particular career path to his father.
“All my husband cares about is himself” from a wife whose husband doesn’t commit himself to following through plans with her.
Or maybe you have heard somebody swear not to visit their family anytime soon because they are ‘difficult’.
It’s pretty obvious that it’s beyond the belief of these people and so many others that they can heal the past and rebuild their relationship once again.
Why do all the things that have happened in the past scar the present moment and make it difficult (or in some cases feel impossible) to have a good relationship with another person?
The answer is that we tend to live in the past and carry it with us, even though it’s really our version of the past and may not be anyone else’s version.
Why don’t we all just forget the past and get along?
The simple version is that you have your way of looking at life and the other person has his or her way. The upshot is that your “rules” for living clash and both people want to be right.
The two people live in separate realities.
We try to get the other person to see the world the way we see it and are pissed off when they don’t.
But it can be different.
Here are 3 ways to get along better with those you love even if you don’t see eye to eye…
1. Come to a neutral place inside you concerning this person or situation.
In order to get to a neutral place, you’ll want to stop spinning stories about what’s gone wrong.
That’s not to say you put a happy face on what happened in the past but it is to stop repeatedly reliving it.
2. Be willing to open the door to connection and understanding.
Notice if there’s even the slightest desire inside you to connect more deeply with this person.
It is a possibility that you don’t have all the information about a particular situation.
When you approach this situation or person with curiosity, you’ll be more open to a new understanding.
While opening your heart to understanding doesn’t mean you have to agree with what happened in the past, it does mean that you both may see something new that will create a healing.
3. Set boundaries from a loving place of knowing inside you.
It may be that you need to set some boundaries with this person but you can do this from love and not tightness or anger.
You can listen to what’s deep inside you and speak that from your heart without apology while still staying open to loving this person.
You can heal a relationship divide while still staying true to who you are.
When you do, you’ll have less stress and more ease and love in your life.
I hope this helps.