I know that you are full of questions.
Would you ever get that full-funded scholarship to Canada?
Would you ever get a job that paid enough to let you stop stretching funds as far as they can go?
Would you eventually meet Mr. Tall, fair, rich, handsome and kind who wants you to make you his Mrs.?
Would you ever have kids?
Would you ever be slim and beautiful?
Would you ever have a house of your own and finally a bedroom with floor-to-ceiling curtains?
Would you ever write a fantastic piece?
Would you ever find solutions to your problems?
Would you ever find your way?
Would you ever get a break?
First of all, I want you to know that you questions are valid and getting answers to them would make life just fantastic. But have you ever considered that the “problem” might stem from your outlook on like generally. From the way these questions are structured, it is proof that you tend to see the dark side of things first or most of the time. Have you ever considered looking for the silver lining i.e see things from a more positive angle?
Worst case scenario, you are not destined to get a scholarship, would it be so bad if you had to continue your education in Nigeria?
If you want to be slim, then work towards it. Eat healthier and exercise. Staring at the mirror daily won’t help you. And who says you are not beautiful? You? Society? Never hold yourself to the standards of what society accepts as “beautiful”.
You don’t have a fantastic piece yet but with practice, who is to say you won’t?
You don’t get a break when you have not worked your shift. Are you putting in the work?
I think it is time that you accepted that the answers you seek would never be handed to you that easily. There is no fairy godmother for that. The answers would reveal themselves as you make your journey through life, sometimes after a detour or two along the way.
Maybe you need to be asking yourself some other questions.
Why you are afraid to take the next step in the dark?
Why are you hesitant to stumble along the way?
Is it so important to know the answers you seek before you embark on the journey?
Would it be so bad if you didn’t receive the answers you sought but were still gifted with equally good answers?
Why do you continue to live in fear?
We know that COVID-19 has brought on the end of the world as we know it, but were you assured that you are going to see the new world from the get go?
We all know that the world would end someday, that we would die someday yet we are enjoined to live till the very end.
What are you waiting for?
I know it is very hard to watch people around you have all these things on a platter but know that everyone struggles. Every single person, some more than others.
I know it is difficult to look at yourself and see who you really are but I want to assure you that you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.
You are a smart, strong, wonderful and beautiful person.
You do so much for everyone else. It is time to expend the same energy on you. You are so much stronger than you know. You just need to push a little bit harder and keep pushing.
Don’t give up and don’t give in.
You need to work on not getting angry so much.
Forgive everyone who has hurt you and release the pain you have carried for so long.
They say you are patient, a little more won’t harm anyone.
Don’t try so hard to be heard. Those who matter do.
Smile a little bit more.
I know life has not made it easy to trust anyone, but try.
Don’t worry about the ones you expect help from. Know that help will always come.
Your sister really admires how much you used to pray. Don’t lose that.
Don’t stop looking after your hair. And maybe you could start washing it every week.
And never stop being kind. It is the most important trait you can ever have.
I am so sorry that it took this long to say this but better late than never.
Remember that it is okay to stop along the way but never abandon the journey that is life.
And happiness is not a destination.
It is the entire journey.
With all my love,
Halimah currently works as a lecturer at the Department of Library and Information
Technology,Federal University of Technology, Minna. She relaxes by reading and watching movies.
She is in love with cake and chocolate.
Halimah believes that a woman can achieve all that she aspires to be.