#Part 3
When you look at your kid or your ward or someone younger that you ae somehow responsible for, you want them to look at you are be proud. You always want them to be able to see in you the perfect example. Ask any parent – what drives you? You’d hear stuff like, “I want to give my kids a good example, I want them to look up to me, I want to show them that they can achieve anything they set their minds to” and who wouldn’t want to do or be all these things?
But parents, you need to take some pressure off yourself too. Even Superman needs a little Clark Kent time once in a while – we like to think we can do and be everything for our kids’ but the truth is – we can’t. Guess what? the kids don’t expect us to either.
I remember growing up, my mum was everything rolled into one and some days I just wanted her to rest. I saw what it was doing to her attempting all questions with 5 children every single day. Not easy.
I would understand if she could not be there for me at a time because she just needed to do HER but she never let up and many of you might never let up either. Maybe it’s how we were made – who knows?
Here’s what I want you to take from this –
Every parent wants to be their childs’ hero, they want to be the one their kids look up to but trust me when I tell you it’s better to just be honest with them. Tell the truth, they will understand.
Sometimes as parents we have to make tough decisions – sometimes we need to live away from our families for work or school or whatever. It sucks but telling them the truth helps them understand instead of just cope.
So, you can’t make the school game this week. Say, “Baby, I can’t make your school game on Friday ok – I am really sorry and I promise I’ll try to be at your next one – I’ll get your teacher to record it for me and we’ll watch it together at home, ok?”
That is so much better than promising them you’ll show up when you know – you really won’t be there.
Everyone loves a hero, but no one loves a liar and if you can’t be a hero, at least be honest.
You will disappoint them more by your lies rather than your truths. The truth you tell might hurt for the moment but the pain of lies can last a lifetime.
I was talking with a friend one time who said when he was 5, his parents dropped him off at boarding school and said they’d be right back. The next time he saw them was 3 months later at the end of the school term. I cannot even begin to imagine what that must have felt like. He cried every day for days until it became clear that neither mum nor dad was turning up and so at age 5, he was forced to become a man.
You might say – his parents probably just didn’t know how to explain it to a 5-year old and I think that too but did not-explaining make it easier on the child or on the parents?
Please stop trying to have it all figured out, stop trying to be so strong for them –Tell your kids the truth. Tell them in a way they can understand – they will and will love you for it too. You will demonstrate to them that honesty does not always feel good, but when the choice is presented – you should choose honesty over heroism, always.
You know one of the things I love most about being a parent – it’s that I get to hold right now in my hands what could be a crucial part of shaping a future generation and even if I cannot change the world myself – the idea that I can raise someone who CAN is hands down THE most amazing and terrifying part of being a parent. For me!
We don’t know everything, but we know some things. Let’s do the best we can with the best we know.
Think about how you’re going to choose honesty with your kids even if what you have to tell them is really difficult.
The End.
About Olachi Olatunji
Hey, my name is Olachi and I like to refer to myself as a ‘thinking enthusiast.’
I love a few things, number one of them being learning and number two would be spreading.
I believe in the power of right thinking to transform lives and as a result; I enjoy spreading knowledge, inspiring thinking and encouraging movement.
I however am not a very serious person so please don’t expect to find me in a suit… In a crowd with beating music though, find me somewhere in the middle – moving to the beat and filling my soul with joy.
Olachi Olatunji
Chief Curator,
#TKOH
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