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Dammy Facos: 5 Ways To Get Rid Of Social Media Addiction

Nowadays, if you’re not on social media, you feel like you’re not truly living in the 21st century. Everything from businesses to personal and professional relationships, social media has a strong presence—and with that, a luring temptation to spend even more time using its features.

So, how do you take back the reins of your life and curb your time on social media (and stop social media addiction)? Here are some steps to get started.

1. Think About Why You’d Like to Be on Social Media

Everything we do in life is about intention: why do you want to do something? What will it bring you? The same goes for social media use. It may be silly to ask this question when thinking about a Facebook or Instagram account, but if you want to truly control your social media (instead of the other way around), asking this question may truly be eye-opening.

Do you want to just keep in touch with friends, or do you want to promote your business? Getting to the crux of why you’re online will help you clearly mark your time on social media effectively and eliminate everything else.

2. Be Meticulous About Who You Follow and what you post and share

Attention is your greatest currency. Read that again.

Everything that you click on or “like” becomes a thread in the tapestry of what comes back to you on social media newsfeeds. You want to create the kind of information spread that works for you, your needs, and your time. So, often, we impulsively follow people who may not be serving our best interests.

Give yourself permission to clean those contacts out every once in a while! It’s okay to disagree with someone. Instead of plummeting into a rabbit hole of social media thread arguments, unfollow anyone who you don’t connect with. It’s much better for your mental health and helps you get rid of social media addiction.

Likewise, be meticulous about what you share. Are you posting misinformation yourself? Just like you are planning on cleaning up your contacts list, someone who follows you may be thinking of doing the same. Make it a priority to share and post things that not only have significance to you but also serve others.

3. Curb the Time You Spend Online

If you have a laundry list of things to get done but have spent the last three hours scrolling your newsfeed, it’s time to close the app or the computer. Set a timer on your phone, if that’s what it takes to solve your social media addiction.

Once you begin the practice of detaching from being online so much, you’ll notice that you get so much time back! This time has always existed, but you were just using it poorly. It’s not that you don’t have enough time—it’s just that you spend too much time scrolling online instead of being productive.

4. Change Your Notification Settings

If your productivity is suffering because you’re constantly distracted by the pings from your notifications, there are ways to turn those notifications off in your settings. Better yet, you can always delete the apps from your phone and devices and resolve to check your social media notifications on your desktop. This way, you can get back to finishing your work without facing the temptation of checking your messages.

5. Not Everything Has to Be Posted and Shared

It often feels like we’re in a perpetual case of “FOMO” when it comes to posting on social media. If the Superbowl came and went and you didn’t post anything at all, will the world continue to spin? Of course.

We don’t have any social obligation to our followers to keep them abreast of every single event that happens in our life. These are choices that we must make consciously and in alignment with our desires.

Think about the last concert (in the pre-COVID world) you went to—did you immediately post bits of the concert to social media or snapped and uploaded a selfie of you and your friends?

These are habitual things that we don’t even think about, which brings me to the final point…

6. It’s Okay to Put Your Phone Down and Enjoy Life

In fact, this one very simple point could truly help you cut that social media addiction! Precious moments of your life are one in a million—like seeing a shooting star or catching the smile of your favorite person. These moments are so fragile, and they never happen the same way twice in your lifetime.

Don’t run towards your phone to capture that moment. Capture it instead with your eyes and with your heart. Let it become a sweet memory. Enjoy the moment  you’re so keen on sharing with others and instead, prioritize sharing it with yourself.

Final Thoughts

Social media addiction, when left unchecked, can lead us to depression and lack of self-worth and authenticity. If we “follow the flock” in search of creating a perfect online life, we’re stepping further away from being ourselves. This brings about a slew of consequences, which can snowball over time and lead to worse obstacles in our lives.

When we finally learn how to use social media, to what extent, and with what intention in mind, we can take control over it before it takes control over us.

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“A LOT OF RELATIONSHIPS HAVE DIED BECAUSE WE NOW HAVE BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR PHONES THAN WITH PEOPLE” -TOYIN ABRAHAM

Nollywood actress, Toyin Abraham described people in this century as a generation that don’t want a real relationship, in a thought provoking IG post.

According to her, social media has taken over true bonding and it has caused a lack of sincerity, betrayals and depressions.

She posted this picture below to emphasize her point, in which she wrote:

“21st Century, the generation that doesn’t want real relationship. We want that social media relationship that everyone can like and comment on. True bonding are very hard now because, we now converse via DM, Ping, WhatsApp etc and epistle is our new way of expressing our feelings or appreciating people.

A lot of relationship has died because we now have better relationship with our phones than with people. We invest more time into our Instagram profile than we do with our lives. We celebrate our friends/family’s birthdays without knowing how the 365 days that lead up to them was.

Family meetings are now been held via Video calls and WhatsApp group conversations. People come to social media to write a long epistle for eachother, claiming WORLD’S BEST for them. When in actual sense, they know they are nothing close to COMMUNITY’S BEST and their intentions are not to filter them as good, but to impress social media audience.

There’s no relationship without social media anymore and that’s why relationships are no longer sincere; everything is now for the gram😥. We’ve forgotten that, the best thing to hold on to in life is eachother👭 and that’s one of the reasons why depression is getting common☹️.

We’ve built a wall around ourselves against our family and love ones. We share our burdens with riddles on social media instead of talking it out with someone. It has worsen to the extent that, someone about to commit suicide will take to Instagram story to write their suicide note.

I understand it’s hard to find a trustworthy person these days but you still have to trust someone! If you trust them and they betrayed your trust, then it’s not your problem anymore it’s theirs. Let them live the rest of their life with the burden of betrayal.

The best place to lean on is eachother’s shoulders. Don’t let social media steal your love ones from you cuz NOTHING CAN SAVE US FROM DEATH BUT LOVE COULD AT LEAST SAVE US FROM LIFE”.

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ARIJENILEOLA BOLANLE: BURYING THE SHAME OF INFERTILITY

These spent days got me reflective and imagining all the odds life can offer me but not wishing them into being so when I feel I need some breathe if fresh air, gist and laughter then Facebook becomes my relaxation spot. So this bubbly young woman that I have come to respect for her sense served with humour and sarcasm sometimes puts up a post with a picture of herself and her husband, it was their wedding anniversary. As it is with me, I choose to read through all the comments and my heart broke on her behalf. ‘Why don’t you have a child after 3 years of marriage?’ became the new congratulatory messages.

Then I got into her shoes in my subconscious, would I feel shame or pick up my joy if I have to explain childlessness for any reason?
We have fixed a pattern to living and added time limits such that the feeling of failure crawls in when we are unable or yet to meet up with the standards especially marriage and childbearing. There is no shame in Childlessness! There is no shame I’m finding medical solutions such as IVF! Even adoption has no shame! And if you choose not to tow any of these paths and let nature takes its toll, there isn’t no shame!
Childbearing is just another phenomenon as every thing time and chance allows some of us to own while some are not privileged, it isn’t a curse till we allow the gloom of myth borne out of biased minds become a defined standard. Women are still crying their eyes out when nothing is stopping them to choose IVF, some would rather dwell in gloom because the society isn’t yet in sync with the idea of IVF. Same society isn’t in sync with adoption but will forever be in sync with shaming and bullying.
Oh Daughter of Eve! Bury the shame of Childlessness. Bury the shame of attached to whatever plan you choose to work on to share in the joys of motherhood. Do what works for you and be happy. Whether a child born out of the vagina, or through surrogacy (which I hope will be legalized someday and not seen as the worst curse), or through IVF or adoption is a child and he or she bears your name and will forever cherish the life you’ve given to him/her through your boldness.
 
The society isn’t sure of the template to follow so everything in our world is just turnioniown *winks* so do more than swallowing the bitter pills of the naysayers and try other options.
 
And to every Queen that has tried all options and are yet to have their little kings and queens, I hold you all dear in my prayers and we believe your celebration time is at hand. But that isn’t enough reason to dwell in shame.
 
Alongside with other issues we are making a grave for as women, we are burying every iota of shame attached to Childlessness.
 
And to everyone who the Lord has not given counsel to know the right words to use, we hold you dear in our prayers too.
 
Love and Strength.
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TITILOLA EDU: SOCIAL MEDIA COMMENTARY & ITS DAMAGING CONSEQUENCE

Some years ago, when I was in Law School, I posted something vile on my Facebook page. I believe it was during President Jonathan’s administration. I’m not sure what exactly he did at the time, but I was enraged – like so many other people around me and in diaspora.

I was so angry at whatever had happened at the time that I wrote something very nasty about the President. It was actually insulting.

The next day, I received a call from my Dad asking me what I posted on Facebook. I was confused; my Dad was not on Facebook, and secondly, because I write a lot on Facebook so I was wondering which particular one he meant.

“I don’t understand, Sir” I said.

In an angry tone he told me to remove whatever it was I wrote on Facebook immediately. I had completely forgotten about what I had written the previous day. So I went back to my wall wondering how my father knew what I wrote on Facebook. It must be a family member that can not mind their business, I concluded.

The only damaging post on my wall was the one about Jonathan. So I took it down. I was miffed that my freedom of speech was being infringed on by my Dad and whomever reported me to him. Nonsense.

Years later, I began to understand the essence of keeping your thoughts and everything you put on social media in check.

What is Social Media?

Wikipedia defines social media as “media use web-based technologies, desktop computers and mobile technologies (e.g., smartphones and tablet computers) to create highly interactive platforms through which individuals, communities and organizations can share, co-create, discuss, and modify user-generated content or pre-made content posted online. They introduce substantial and pervasive changes to communication between businesses, organizations, communities and individuals”

Now we understand that social media basically is a technological innovation that gives you a platform to communicate, interact and engage people most times “real time”.

Now let us look at what social media reach means :

It is defined as the total number of people you are able to reach across all of your various social media networks.

It is no wonder that many businesses are now dominating cyberspace and utilizing the many advantages of social media as an effective marketing tool.

The ‘koko’ is you are able to reach more people with your content on social media as a business or as an individual.

So as an individual, I’m present on all social networks, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter. So anything I post will not just be seen by my immediate followers, but their followers as well – especially if they share it to their space. My content is spreading. Your content could be good or bad, but it will definitely leave an impression about you.

What kind of impression do you want people having about you? Sometimes, we don’t care what people think; but what if whatever you leave out there could harm your career, relationship, family or business. Would you think think twice before posting anything and everything that comes to your mind?

Trust me, you don’t want your careless post reaching the wrong hands.

I read with dismay a comment on Funmi Iyanda’s post about marriage not being for her, and the guy that insulted Michelle Obama not having male children. News has it that he was suspended at work for his thoughtless comment.

When are we going to learn constructive criticism and stop being cyber bullies? What are you going to benefit from putting people down all the time? Even the Bible says “I will bless those who bless you and curse them that curse you”.

The rate at which we are so quick to insult people on social media is alarming! There are so many young impressionable people out there, what message are we passing to them?

Let your words/comments be geared toward building and destroying because they might eventually come back to haunt you.

It might have far- reaching consequence than you envisage, if not now, then later.

Be careful what you post on Social Media.

Source & Credit: Bellanaija

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SINEM BILEN-ONABANJO: SHAKE BODY…NOT!

“Look, talent comes everywhere, but having something to say and a way to say it so that people listen to it, that’s a whole other bag. And unless you get out and you try to do it, you’ll never know. That’s just the truth. And there’s one reason we’re supposed to be here is to say something so people want to hear. So you got to grab it, and you don’t apologize, and you don’t worry about why they’re listening, or how long they’re going to be listening for, you just tell them what you want to say. Don’t you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

These words are from A Star is Born – the 2018 remake of the 1937 film of the same name – uttered midway through the movie by the seasoned country star Jackson Maine, superbly brought to life by Bradley Cooper.

“Yeah, I do. I don’t like it, but I understand it,” says Ally (played credibly by Lady Gaga in her first lead role), the ingenue he discovered makes her Saturday Night Live debut. An ordinary girl on the cusp of stardom, commercialised beyond imagination at the hands of music producers.

What struck a chord with me beyond Ally’s rags-to-riches road to stardom, Jackson’s battle with his demons and their whirlwind romance were these words.

How many stars were made in the ‘90s on the same conveyor belt, shaped with the same cookie cutter? Britney, Christina, Jessica… Until they reached a stage in their career to exert some freedom and control over their material, could you even tell the difference between who was who? I don’t know about you, but I didn’t actually even know Christina Aguilera could sing until she belted out “Beautiful” which we had to wait for until her fourth album.

Watching the fictional Ally on the SNL stage writhing around with a choreography that would make Britney of ‘…Baby One More Time’ era blush, I felt Jackson’s heartbreak at the sight of his rough diamond hewn into a pop princess.

These days we are a little luckier when it comes to our pop stars, Beyoncé has inimitable talent, Rihanna boundless sass, Adele her British blend of softness and edge. Even the new kids on the block from Dua Lippa, Rina Sawayama, Jorja Smith are not manufactured, pre-packaged bubblegum pop princesses. Even X Factor finalists these days boast more personality in their little finger than pop stars of yesteryears, with more opinions than you can shake a mic at, on anything from global warming to unrealistic beauty standards perpetrated by the media to the rise of crypto currencies.

The stars of today, whether made by their talent or their social media following, know that they have gained the much coveted “influencer” status. They also know that, with great influence comes great responsibility – except for Youtube vlogger DJ So Cool perhaps, whose channel was suspended last summer amidst accusations of child abuse after he laced his kids’ ice creams with laxatives and filmed them crying in pain. When you have a platform and you have the spotlight on you, albeit for a short while, most celebrities or influencers know that “you got to grab it, and you don’t apologize, and you don’t worry about why they’re listening, or how long they’re going to be listening for, you just tell them what you want to say” as per Jackson’s advice.

Then, naturally, I think of Nigerian stars and influencers, and it dawns on me just how we can count those who use their platform to say something beyond, “Oya shake body” on the fingers of two hands – at a push. You can rely on Banky W to speak his truth, whether it is political views or social critique, Lami Phillips always serves pepper soup for the soul, RMD shines as a man of virtue and wisdom for our young boys to look up to, Betty Irabor and Joke Silva are forever inspiring and empowering women, by speaking their truth and laying their souls bare for us to learn from. There are a few more.

Except for a respectable few beacons of light that shine through a vast land of nonchalant ignorance, what else do we have but a bunch of so-called celebrities – most of us would be hard pushed to figure out what they owe their fame to – who go around flaunting Gucci, Versace, Porsche, Lamborghini, making countless appearance on the red carpet and chatting absolute rubbish until their season is over and the next movers and shakers of the fame game come along… come to shake body and not much else.

Culled from Guardian Woman
Photo credit: Google
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“NEGATIVE COMMENTS CAN HURT ANYBODY’S FEELINGS, I’M TAKING A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA” -SELENA GOMEZ

Singer and actress Selena Gomez has announced that she will be taking a break from social media for a while.

She made the announcement on her Instagram page, after posting a selfie to her Instagram account.

The 26-year old star had first captioned it with “Mood lol (I was looking at myself in the mirror -like an idiot!)”

Later, Selena updated the post with the caption:

“Update: taking a social media break. Again. As much as I am grateful for the voice that social media gives each of us, I am equally grateful to be able to step back and live my life present to the moment I have been given. Kindness and encouragement only for a bit! Just remember- negative comments can hurt anybody’s feelings. Obvi.”

 

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