EKENE ONU: EVERYONE NEEDS A SUPPORTIVE SPOUSE
Yesterday I spent the day at my Refresh soul sisters dental office. She had her annual free Dental day where she and her team of dentists give free dental care to the less fortunate. She recruited me to give motivation, inspiration and transformation and when Tejumade St Matthew-Daniel calls you…you feel compelled to come 😉.
They saw over 200 patients. And at the end of the day, as is her way, she asked me what the most impactful moment was for me.
There were so many but l’ll tell you what touched me the most was how she and her husband worked together. He was front and center supporting and pouring into his wife’s mission. He is a successful physician himself (He was actually on call that day) and he brought his office team to volunteer. While she was seeing patients, he was not somewhere sitting as Oga concerned. He was walking around, working with the volunteers, speaking to the people waiting for medical attention.
During her thank you speech, she honored him and whenever I speak to either of them, they speak so highly of each other. It was beautiful to see a model of a marriage fueled by purpose and bound by love.
Some might think he isn’t Nigerian but he is. They are both Nigerian and they are one of the powerhouse couples I know.
It strikes me as amazing because unfortunately, so often there is some unnecessary tension in some marriages. Some men have been socialized to believe that being a husband means controlling a woman and sometimes even suffocating her passion and drive out of her. Some are so threatened by strong women.
If you meet Tejumade, you will say she is a strong woman. She is. No doubt about it. If you meet me, you might say the same perhaps.
So many (Nigerian) men find strong women troubling. I myself have heard the phrase “be forming strong woman there o!) from different men.
But then some women get it twisted too. They are also controlling and emasculating and more. Some women become warriors at war with the wrong enemy. But these control dramas are not about gender…
They are about emotional and spiritual immaturity.
For the insecure and immature, love is often replaced by control and intimidation is used by many husbands/wives as opposed to affection and loving communication. For some men, they just want their wives to be quiet. Just acquiesce. To have no voice…as if she was not created by God to fulfill purpose…and sometimes it is the voice of your partner that will alert you to danger.
My father and I were talking last year about culture, tradition and gender relations. And he said finally…any society that doesn’t value and make room for the contributions of it’s women is like a dog trying to walk on just two legs.
Our people say that what an old person sees sitting down, a young person can not see standing up.
Back to the couple of the hour. I have been blessed to spend time with them and they are both purpose driven, sold out to God and constantly investing in their own growth. This I believe is the key. They are both yearning to be the best people they can be. Individually and together and they support each other’s growth.
We are all meant to be strong in the Lord. To be of good courage is not a mandate only for men. For God has given us all (men and women alike) a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.
When a strong man and woman unite = 💥💥Powerhouse couple.
Yesterday, because of the efforts of a powerhouse couple and their teams, hundreds of lives were changed.
Curled from her Facebook page
December 16, 2017
December 14, 2017