Women of Rubies
Category

womenofrubies

Category
In Interviews&profile By

#INTERVIEW: ”NEVER LET ANYONE MAKE YOU THINK YOU CAN’T BE SUCCESSFUL AS A WOMAN” -WISDOM TOYIN IGBAFEN, SOUL SINGER

Toyin Igbafen is a Soul singer and writer, and also an entrepreneur with interest in women fashion and catering. She has a BSc in Computer Science from Lead City University but decided to opt for music because it has always been her first love.

Childhood

I would say my childhood did prepare me, not like I knew, but the fact that my parents loved music a lot, My dad had all kinds of records from different artists and my mum sings and write songs. So yes growing up with so much music helped shape me into what I do now.

Meet Me

My name is Wisdom Toyin Igbafen, the first of 3 siblings, I studied computer science at Lead City Universty Ibadan. I’m an alternative soul singer/writer with very clear message. I released my first single ‘Beautiful’ in Dec 2015, then followed it up with ‘Mr John’ featuring Johnnydrille in August 2016 and then ‘MOVE’ a collaborative effort with Terry the Beat Prince.
I’m also an entrepreneur with interest in women fashion and catering.

Why I opted for music

Music had always been my first love, music comes to me naturally, so I would say Music choose me.

Inspiration

Like I said earlier, it had always been music, I would sing at every available opportunity and memorize every song I heard. But I was inspired to go into music professionally after I realized it’s the only thing that gets me extremely excited.

Other projects and activities

I’m an entrepreneur with interest in fashion and catering. I have a TV show coming up, that helps discover fresh talents and give them a platform to express themselves. I also have my concert coming up in June and an Extended Play (EP) coming out also in June.

Greatest reward

Personally my greatest reward has been the messages I receive from people about our my music had helped them in difficult times, help to inspire them and serve as a model for female singers to aspire to be the best in whatever genre of music they do.

Where I see myself in five years time

The international Stage. In five years I see myself with a global audience.

Nigerian female artistes I want to collaborate with 

There are quite a couple of them, hmm Sinach, Ada, Jadiel, Asa, Shalom, Cill, etc.

On whether Nigerians appreciate female christian musicians enough

I feel they Nigerians love female Christian musicians, look at the likes of Sinach, Chioma Jesus, Jadiel, Ada Nathan, Shallom, Pastor Mercy…they are absolutely loved by Nigerians, so I would say they are appreciated a lot.

I Am A Woman Of Rubies

I’m bold, I stand for change, I am comfortable in my skin, I’m unique, I’m an entrepreneur and I know I am a Woman Of Rubies.

Final words for women all over the world

I will say, believe in yourself and your abilities, be bold, stand for change and never let anyone make you think you can’t be successful as a woman

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

DEBBIE LARRY-IZAMOJE: 2 IMPORTANT LESSONS FROM MY FRIEND’S EXPERIENCE

When we were younger Bisi was probably the prettiest in class. While we tried to deal with the zits that came with puberty, Bisi had gotten a hang of it and became our go to person for advice. She was full of wisdom. Her fashion sense, her poise and diction, how could one person have it all? I remember how guys of all ages tried to talk to her back then, and how she always shut them down before they could say anything.

We became even closer in university and decided that we needed to go for one of those ACS events, since we never went out much. It was a little get together and I remember this guy who seemed like he was 20 years older than us talking to Bisi all through the night.

According to him, he was on holiday in the UK and had somehow found himself in an event meant for just university undergraduates. To cut the long story short, I didn’t see my friend Bisi again that night.

I heard a loud knock on my door the next morning it was my friend Bisi “ahh Debbie, I’ve found the one o,” she said with so much excitement.

See, I had known this girl since I was 9 years old, I had seen guys jump fences and fight themselves to get her attention but she was never moved. As a friend, my first instinct was to ask questions and ensure that this guy was right for her; but for some reason I never asked any question, because over the years Bisi had proven to me that she was very wise in dealing with the opposite sex.

Days, weeks and months passed and my communication with my friend started fading out. I would send messages and her response was always “sorry I was busy.” We barely spoke. Our other friends complained that Bisi didn’t talk to them either, and it was because of this man she was now dating.

I remember scrolling through Instagram and seeing a picture of my supposed friend getting married, my heart skipped a beat. How was Bisi getting married and I had no idea? Was this why she had stopped coming to class? Were the rumours about her dropping out true? My phone didn’t stop ringing that day as our friends all had different reactions to what we had all seen on social media.

We never got answers till I ran into Bisi again 4 years later.

Bisi had married the wrong man. Dropped out of school to marry a violent man, a liar and a cheat. He had warned her to cut all her friends off as she had no business having single friends any more. She had willingly dropped out of school to bear kids for him, as he was getting older but even kids looked like a dream at this point. She had miscarried 3 times because of different instances – one which involved him pushing her down the stairs for not being active enough during her first pregnancy.

As Bisi spoke to me, I could feel my heart breaking, I cried. Who would have seen Bisi and known that she had endured all this?

I asked her how come she was doing so well now after everything she had endured. She said: “Debz, I turned my pain into a project, I knew that I had reached my lowest when I walked out of that marriage, but I also knew that I could only go up from there with the right mindset, I wanted to be able to fend for myself. It didn’t matter what decisions I had made to get here, I wanted to do the right thing moving forward”

Silence Your Giants
Bisi explained that when she decided to leave there were many thoughts that crossed her mind and even family members that told her she’ll never be anything as a divorcee. She said she had to work on her mind, because most times if you can fix your mind, you can fix your life. According to her there will days that you wouldn’t want to get out of bed, but you have to fix your mind on where you see yourself 10 years from now or even 5. After you have reached rock bottom, take time to mourn and keep moving. Don’t stay there. Be intentional about what project you want to turn your pain into and just do it.

Turn Your Pain Into Purpose
Bisi explained to me that sometimes your journey and experiences are lessons for other people. Do not be silent about them. We sometimes go through situations to raise a better generation. Do not let your pain overwhelm you. Focus on ensuring that your pain produces a better you. Whether it is working out again, speaking to people in the same situation and much more.

Sometimes we have to clear away the clutter so we can see what God has planned for us and when He shows you his plans, obey and turn it into a mission that can bless the next person.

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown.

Debbie Larry-Izamoje

About Debbie Larry-Izamoje

Debbie Larry-Izamoje AKA The Entrepreneur’s Best-Friend, holds a BSc in Information management from the University of Sheffield, United Kingdom. And Msc in management from University College London (UCL). She has also secured certificates in user innovation from Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and Innovation and strategy from Harvard University.
She is on a mission to raise a generation of young established or soon to be established professionals who are more vocal about business difficulties while providing solutions through public speaking, training, workshops and coaching.
She is the founder of Image Boosters a digital communications and strategy agency and the IBL platform a subsidiary of Image boosters limited which is an online business community for young established/soon to be established professionals to ask questions, share concerns and experiences and receive tailored counselling.

http://www.imageboostersng.com/debbieizamoje/
Twitter and Instagram: @dee_larry @imageboosters_
Email: contactus@imageboosters.com.ng

Source: Bellanaija

by
Keep Reading
In Career Gems By

STEPHANIE LINUS’ FOUNDATION CARRIES OUT 35 REPAIRS OF VVF PATIENTS IN KEBBI STATE

The Extended Hands Foundation, a non-governmental organization with sponsorship from NNPC/SNEPCo has completed the successful repair of 35 Vesico Vaginal Fistula (VVF) patients in Kebbi State. The pool effort took place at the Ministry of Women Affairs & Social Development VVF Center in Gesse, Birin-Kebbi and received the co-operation of the Kebbi State Government.

Led by the founder Stephanie Linus, the Extended Hands Foundation team was received by the Governor of the state Dr Abubakar Bagudu and the First Lady Dr Zainab Bagudu. They both paid visits to the women at the VVF Center, showing their support for the cause.

All the repairs have been completed successfully and the women are recovering well.

Stephanie Linus, who spent some time with the women at the VVF Center during the course of the exercise, expressed her appreciation to the sponsors of the pool effort – NNPC/SNEPCo for investing in this cause. She also added that this was the second time the foundation was carrying out such an exercise in Kebbi state.

The team of medical staff was led by Dr Sa’ad Idris, a seasoned VVF Surgeon and former Commissioner for Health in Zamfara State with over 20 years experience in the field. He was assisted by Dr Abubakar Bawa, and other doctors and nurses at the VVF Center.

Against the backdrop of her Child Bride and Fistula advocacy movie, DRY, Stephanie Linus has been taking the message of restoration and hope to real women suffering from VVF. This pool effort goes a long way to show that DRY is more than just a movie, but a tool for touching the lives of women actually living with this condition.

by
Keep Reading
In Career Gems By

FIRST CHILD ADVOCACY CENTRE IN NIGERIA LAUNCHED.

The Cece Yara foundation, Nigeria’s flagship advocacy organization in line with its aim and vision to effectively tackle the menace of child sexual abuse is set to open the doors of its ultra-modern relief and support centre in Lagos.

In recent times research has shown that the incidence of child sexual abuse in Nigeria is growing exponentially, statistics precisely state that one in four girls and one in ten boys experienced sexual violence before 18. As a response to these alarming figures, the establishment of the Cece Yara foundation has been a major breakthrough in the fight against child exploitation and sexual abuse. The Cece Yara foundation believes that childhood should be a phase of purity and complete innocence, a period when the character of an individual is formed. The phrase ‘Cece Yara’ means ‘Save the child’ in Hausa language.

The founder, Mrs. Bola Tinubu a lawyer and a staunch advocate for children believes that the future of every child, regardless of gender, race or social background, should be preserved. She is undauntedly ready to take on the fight against sexual abuse amongst children thus her drive and motivation for establishing and running the NGO.

The Cece Yara Child Advocacy Centre provides a warm, safe and friendly shelter where survivors will be comfortable enough to rise above whatever experience they have been through. Having taken into cognizance the major problems which could arise from child sexual abuse, the centre is equipped with state of the art facilities tailored to assist the psychological and physical healing process of the survivor with a fully operational 24 hour hotline ready to cater to those in distress.

The foundation strives to put in place programs and campaigns aimed at preventing child sexual abuse, raising awareness on the issue and also giving the children a voice and a support system. The activities and successes of this organization are laudable and truly encouraging. One of the foundation’s recent accomplishments was getting justice for a 6 year old girl who was sexually violated by an adult male. The accused was detained and charged to court in October 2016. On the 16th of February 2017, the Cece Yara foundation claimed justice for the victim and the accused was sentenced to seven years imprisonment without the option of fine.

The Cece Yara foundation played a pivotal role in bringing the sex offender to book while providing legal support and psychological healing to the ‘survivor’ and her parents, through its Victim Advocacy Program. The victory serves as a deterrent to perpetuators of child sexual abuse in the country and a source of succour to survivors and their families

The centre will be opened officially to the public on the 19th of March 2017.

 

by
Keep Reading
In #TheMansPointofview By

THE WOMAN’S PERCEPTION OF THE MAN (PART 2)

Boyfriends, these are another elite set of champions in a woman’s perception of men. When a lady has gone through a series of boyfriends (which in our society today, both home and abroad) is usually the case, she tends to develop preferences. What preferences you ask?! I’m talking about your ‘spec’, your dream man or your ‘ideal man’. The ammunition boyfriends bring to the table is ‘love’. Love in any of its manifestations, is a very capable weapon that can build upon or destroy a woman’s perception of the man. I know a girl who dated close to four basket-ball athlete-looking bobos (really tall guys) and afterwards, claimed she couldn’t date men shorter than a 6-footer; this is a preference formed from the perception that tall guys are better lovers. I am also happy to report that in a funny twist of fate, she is now married to a guy barely 5’2.

The woman’s boss at the office is another trigger. He also has the power to build upon or destroy a woman’s perception. This is because, he is someone she respects (sometimes fears) and is also in a position of authority. A wicked boss, begets the perception that men at the reins of power, are wicked and heartless. These parameters were also used to measure male political leaders alone, for being heartless and shamelessly stealing public funds, or at least it was solely reserved for them, till a few flawed women (women inspired by these men) began to edit that line of thought.

Love, fear and respect. These are all emotional and psychological parameters that the woman uses to analyze the man. If a woman loves a man, fears a man or respects him, he can do a lot of good and a whole lot of bad to her perception of who the man is and what he represents. It seems unfair doesn’t it; well that’s just the cycle of life. The Holy Bible said the woman was torn from the rib of the man; is that where the perpetual need to love and respect them comes from? However, scientists would prefer to paint a picture that shows a natural animalistic tendency for male dominance over the female; after all they say we are only ‘higher animals’ right?!!

The Holy Grail influencing the woman’s perception of men is her husband. Permit me to refer to the Holy Bible again, a scripture says ‘’… of all these, LOVE is the greatest of them all”. Now, that scripture was talking about love in general, but nonetheless, the romantic love between a man and woman is a force that has managed to make little sense when it comes to a wholesome definition. Poets have tried, philosophers have pondered, but even with their brilliant conclusions, they have managed to fall short in perfectly describing the phenomenon that is love. Love for a man, can make a woman do crazy things (note that this goes both ways). A wo-man wooed by a man is practically high. What is she high on? She’s high on love. Whatever her lover does is the law, if he thinks a certain way, does things in a particular order, or even breathes a certain way; to the woman, this is how men behave or at least should behave. Anything that falls short of this is suddenly a surprise to her.

 

                                            

 

Loving someone includes loving their character and personality; it is even more intense when they have a bad habit or react in a not so pleasant way and to the woman that’s okay, it’s just fine. So imagine a woman being battered and abused and yet is still there playing the role of a punching bag without crying out, this is because to her ‘’that’s what men do, sometimes they get angry and they slap you’’. Then there is the woman who knows there’s even a limit to which a man can raise his voice at her. Love, love, love, it can suppress or appreciate the rationale behind the woman’s perception of the man. I beseech you women out there, check your perspective, make changes where and if necessary. Take back the power.

 

 

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

“WHY DO MEN LIE ABOUT BEING MARRIED?” UWANMA ASKS IN HER LATEST VLOG |

OAP Uwanma Odefa is out with a new a Vlog and in this episode, she is asking Why do men Lie about being married?

She says:

This is something I have never understood. Why do some men deny their wives and children just so they can get a single girl to date them? What makes them so desperate to have a particular woman that they would deny their own children? And when they’re caught, their wives automatically assume the other woman is a husband snatcher when that woman had no idea Mrs. Wife exists!

Here is why I think they do it and here is what I think girls should do to protect themselves from these married in bachelor clothing!

Watch!

 

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

PECULIAR OKAFOR: TEACH HER TO SAY ‘BEAUTIFUL’

I once watched a Dove T.V commercial  in which two doors were open; one tagged ‘beautiful’ and the other tagged ‘average’. Both doors were beside each other leading to a mall and the ladies were to choose whatever door they passed through based on their how they viewed themselves. It was funny to watch a lot of females, including extremely stunning ones, go through the average door.

This could have been for a lot of reasons; maybe they did not consider themselves beautiful or maybe they were afraid to ‘dare’ call themselves beautiful. Haba, they were supposed to be humble, and maybe they were afraid of backlash.

In life there we will always be faced with two choices: to be beautiful or average (okay, there’s a third one, to be downright ugly)… but we need to teach our daughters to choose beautiful;

  • When feelings of doubt, insecurity and low self esteem creep in, she is to choose beautiful.
  • When people are malicious, when they gossip and backbite, she is to choose beautiful and show love.
  • When evil lurks around, rather than be average and complain, she will choose beautiful by doing her best to bring a change.
  • When being mediocre is easier, she will choose beautiful by striving to utilize all her God given potential.
  • She will do her best, give her all, bring others happiness (okay, I’m stealing Beyonce’s lyrics but you get the drill).
  • But most importantly, she will never compete with anyone or allow anyone put her down because she knows that she is a masterpiece, God’s definition of beauty.

Shout out to all women.  In a world that strives to put us down and force their labels and definitions on us, may we be bold enough to always CHOOSE BEAUTIFUL.

Photo Credit: Paul Hakimata | Dreamstime.com

About Peculiar Okafor

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all ‘A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it.

She blogs at www.daworkdiva.blogspot.com.ng.

Source: Bellanaija

by
Keep Reading
In Career Gems By

“WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR OF SUCCESS, DON’T SHUT IT BEHIND YOU” – TOKE MAKINWA WRITES

Media Personality & Author of the bestseller of “On Becoming“, Toke Makinwa took to her Twitter page this morning to share words of advice to employers who make people work for them for free with the promise of “exposure”. She shared her experience of being made to work for free which made her question her own skill.

Toke asserted that if one has experienced the good fortune of making it through the door, you should make a conscious effort to help that person who is still struggling to make it through.

Read her tweets below:

by
Keep Reading
In Career Gems By

QUEEN’S COLLEGE HEALTH CRISIS: FG DIRECTS JSS 3 & SSS 3 STUDENTS TO RESUME CLASSES

The management of Queen’s College, Lagos over the weekend sent a text message directing parents and guardians to return their wards to school on Sunday, March 19 2017.

This directive was met with resistance from members of the public and Unity Schools Old Student Association (USOSA).

Two students died last month over what the Lagos state government called bacterial infection spread through contaminated water.

Over a dozen others were hospitalised and reports say more than 1,200 students were sick.

The Chairman of the Parents Teachers Association (PTA), Dr. John Ofobike had over the weekend, said that there was no going back on resumption.

He described the government’s position as “giving a dog a bad name in order to hang it,” The Nation reported.

According to Channels TV, Minister of Education, Adamu Adamu in a new directive this week, said that online students preparing for unified examination (JSS 3 and SSS 3) are to resume, adding that other students are to remain at home indefinitely.

Ofobike also confirmed the development.

The students are to resume from 7:30AM – 2:30PM between Monday and Friday.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one SSS 3 student said: “The school has asked us to come because of our exam that is about to start. I have treated myself but I still have to tread with caution. Truthfully, I cannot eat or drink anything in the school.”

by
Keep Reading