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5 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Believe In Yourself Again

Self-love requires understanding and engaging with yourself at the most intimate level, and opening up to yourself in a way that might be uncomfortable and unfamiliar for most of us.

Here are our 5 tips to help you live with self-love:

1) Live with Intent:

Live mindfully, truthfully, and intentionally. Do not lose yourself in your moments, and if you do, find out why you lost yourself and what you can do to stay present.

Your life is limited – time is your most important currency – and the more you show yourself that you value your time, the more you prove to yourself that you love your life.

2) Live with Care:

Treat yourself well; physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Listen to your body and your mind at the most basic level – if something doesn’t make you feel good, then it is probably bad for you. Protect yourself, from the dangers of both greasy food and toxic friends.

Your mind is your window into the world; keep it clean, keep it strong, and your world will stay equally positive.

Practice a proper diet, exercise regularly, sleep enough hours, and engage in healthy social behavior that secures your personal growth.

And make sure to live with boundaries. Don’t limit yourself, but don’t confuse self-love with hedonism. Moderation is good for the soul.

3) Live with Forgiveness:

You will make mistakes. You’ve most certainly already made a ton, filling you with various bouts of guilt and regret trapped in the back of your head.

You are human, after all, and that’s what makes life worth living: the unexpectedness of your own humanity

But learn to forgive, yourself and those around you. Every day you wake up is an opportunity to grow away from the person you were the day before.

If that person made a mistake, then try to understand and forgive, as you can work towards being a different person tomorrow.

4) Live with Need:

Your mind is your greatest asset, so trust it. When presented with a situation to overindulge, ask yourself: do I need this or do I want it? In most cases, what you think you need is simply a case of you wanting it.

And while it is more than fine to pleasure yourself with your own desires every now and then, it is important to remember not to fall into self-made destructive habits based on desire and want.

Live according to what your mind, body, and soul need.

Turn away from the pleasures of laziness, of automatic happiness, of destructive behavior, because these are short-term, and they care nothing for the person you could be.

You are the only person who must live with yourself for your entire life, so make your happiness last longer than a day.

5) Live with Yourself:

And finally, it is crucial to learn to live with yourself as if you were someone else.

When faced with the task of self-loving, we think too much in the abstract; we think of it as a mental challenge, a psychological question rather than a task we can actively work towards achieving.

But loving yourself is as simple as loving anyone else, so ask yourself: how would you love yourself, if you were someone else?

Treat yourself with the same respect, kindness, and mindfulness that you would offer the people who matter most to you in your life.

Love yourself with the same patience and tenderness you would give your own child, partner, sibling, or parent.

Be kind but be stern; learn to discipline, but learn to forgive. You are your own greatest fan, your own greatest rival, and your own greatest love.

Learn to see yourself in ways you have never considered.

Self-love seems so easy in movies and shows. Just let go of the thoughts, problems, and people causing stress in your life, exchange them with sources of joy and happiness, and voila: you are a self-loving king or queen.

But true, transformative, authentic self-love isn’t so easy. While you might feel great for some time, there will be many moments when you want to give up, where you might convince yourself that your attempts at self-love are meaningless and childish and stupid, that the world is hard and cruel and you should just learn to live with it.

But don’t stop. Keep going. Self-love isn’t about happiness. It’s about improving your life as much as you currently can, and accepting it.

 

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Raquel Daniel Celebrates Menstrual Hygiene Day with New Book “Flow”

In a world that is increasingly public about all sorts of previously private topics, menstruation shouldn’t remain a

Despite women having had periods since the dawn of time, menstruation is still not freely discussed and in some parts of the world, an off-limits topic. The information girls hear around them is often negative and sometimes incorrect. Even school health classes that discuss the subject often focus on the most basic, without ever touching on the real, practical experience of a monthly cycle. As a result, menarche, a girl’s first period is still likely to be confusing for her.

Raquel Daniel, the founder of Beyond the Classroom Foundation and an impact strategist, has unveiled a book that will increase awareness about good menstrual hygiene management and ensure that more young girls, especially those approaching puberty, are armed with the necessary information they need in order not to be caught unawares by the inevitable changes that come with menstruation.

Her new book titled, ‘FLOW: a girl’s guide to menstruation’ she offers encouraging support while answering real questions that girls have about the changes in their bodies and explains menstruation in a way that young girls can relate to. In this book, Raquel also spoke about how her late father taught her about menstruation before she turned 10, shared practical advice and busted the myths and misconceptions surrounding menstruation.

Through Beyond the Classroom Foundation, Raquel has worked with young girls in different communities, while running various projects like ‘Project Red Robots’ with which has distributed sanitary pads and education on sexual & reproductive health to over 10,000 girls across Nigeria.

According to Raquel, so many girls, especially those in the rural communities, welcome their first periods with anxiety, without knowing anything at all about menstruation. In my work with girls, I’ve seen how lack of accurate information has left some of them confused and embarrassed. She said.

While Menstrual Hygiene Day is recognized each year on May 28, it should not only be limited to this day. We must ensure that education about menstruation and the removal of the stigma around menstruation continues to occur around the world daily, Raquel added.

 

 

 

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The Hidden Truth Behind Why Women Limit Their Dreams

There are so many women who have dreams, visions, plans and blueprints on what they want to achieve in their lives. Oftentimes those visions and plans come into fruition and other times those blueprints never lead to the building blocks they envisioned. Why is that? From time women have been taught to hold their tongues, talk themselves out of pursuing lofty goals and succumbing to the pressures of life.

The hidden truth behind why women limit their dreams is because there is this false idea that has been deeply planted in the minds of women that says, “I am not good enough.” For every “I can” there is a young woman somewhere saying, “but.” I am sure that men may experience the same limitations, however, the contexts are different. Women face an unusual amount of pressure to live up to certain expectations and social constructs that are placed upon them. All of these “pressure” points have unintended consequences that hinder a woman from fully creating the life she envisions for herself.

Most importantly, limitations are primarily seen as self-creating. Therefore external factors that cause self-limitation are not given enough attention. Insecurity is not only caused by internal issues, but is also caused by external factors. Young women need to be able to identify areas in their lives that chip away at their self-confidence. People, culture, familial expectations, and environments can serve as a big contributor to the lack of self-confidence. Self-imposed limitations compounded with external factors make it more difficult for women to pursue their dreams. The only way to move forward is by understanding that what you don’t allow to continue has no power in influencing your life.

 

Credit: Yetunde A. Odugbesan Omede

Guardian Woman

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#MondayMotivation | How To Forgive Yourself When Nothing Goes Right

What is there to say when everything is going wrong?

You’re the one who has it all together, right? At least, you’re supposed to have it all together. But recently, things just haven’t been going the way you hoped. You’re not where you thought you’d be by now.

And you blame yourself.

If you had just worked a little harder, tried a little more or just done something different then things would have turned out differently. They would have turned out better.

But that’s where you’re wrong. It’s not your fault life didn’t go the way you planned. Here are a six things to remember when you’re stuck blaming yourself:

  1. You’re doing the best you can

You know you’re working hard because you know how tired you are. It’s natural to be hard on yourself, but you need to think about all the good you’ve done too, because it far outweighs the mistakes you’ve made. Life is hard sometimes but that doesn’t mean you’re weak or lazy. It means you’re strong.

  1. You can’t change the past

This might sound harsh, but it’s a reminder that you can only move forward, so why drag the past around with you? The past is meant to stay behind you, so let’s keep it there. It’s natural to still hurt from what happened but the longer you relive the pain, the longer it will stay around. Focus on the here and now and use the past as something to learn from, not something to weigh you down.

  1. You have so many people who love you

Your friends and family love you so much. They see how hard you work and they are grateful for it. Don’t be afraid to ask them for help – that’s what they’re there for. Remember: you need to serve others just as much as you need others serve you.

  1. You’re stronger than you know

I used to be such a scaredy-cat. I was afraid of heights, big dogs, hiking and anything else that could end with scars and broken bones. But then I made some friends who loved taking what I considered risks. Whenever I was afraid to do something for the fear of getting myself hurt, my friends would remind me that I’m “stronger than [I] know.” Their support got me out of my comfort zone and I was able to discover how tough I really am.

Take yourself out of your comfort zone to realize how strong you are. Use your trials to prove your strength, even if it’s just to yourself. It’s pretty satisfactory doing something you never dreamed you would be strong enough to do.

  1. This will pass

Sometimes, when you’re stuck in the middle of a rough time, it’s hard to imagine that it will ever end. It’s hard to imagine that the pain won’t last forever. But it won’t. Take heart in the saying “it’s always darkest before the dawn.” The sun will rise soon and you’ll come out even better than before.

  1. It’s OK to take a break

You’ve been working hard. The human body and brain can only take so much before it’s time to take a breather. It’s OK to take a spa day. It’s OK to take time for yourself. Don’t feel guilty for needing to take a break.

You can’t expect to have it all together all the time. No one else expects you to! You are so strong for doing all that you do. Be gentle with yourself and remember to think of these pieces of advice next time you start blaming yourself.

Source: Familyshare

Written by: Emily Brady

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Ijeoma Thomas-Odia: Creating House Rules For Kids

Let’s face it: sometimes our homes can be stressful and chaotic, especially when we have children. The first step to making your home a more peaceful place is by setting house rules. Co-founder MumsAloud.com and parenting enthusiast, Tina Ok said.

House rules are important for many reasons. The first and most important is to help everyone in your household get along better, and make family life more peaceful. Another reason is for predictability. Children thrive on routine as it keeps them safe and helps them know what to expect. Having rules teach children to know exactly what is expected of them always. If there are no rules, it’s difficult for children to know how to behave.

“It is important to have house rules as they reduce power struggle and ultimately reduce the number of times we have to shout for something to get done. House rules can start at any time; for younger ones, you start by showing them what is expected of them. As they get older, you can include them in creating a house rule and remember that after a while they won’t seem like rules anymore, as it becomes what everybody expects and does automatically.”

Tina stressed that it is key to be mindful that the house rules can change especially as they get older. An easy way to set the rules will be to look around the house and identify “problem” issues that you may find yourself struggling with and having to shout about so often. Make sure it is something they can relate with like throwing school uniforms on the floor after they return from school and you having to tidy up the trail after them or leaving food crumbs on the table after eating or talking to each other rather than shouting at each other among others.
Brainstorm the problem areas with them. Ask them something like: “what is it that mummy shouts about most of the time?” They will remember this and it will help you come up with a list. Then ask them how they think they can help mummy shout less often around these problem areas. And because they are involved in coming up with solutions, it will be easy for them to remember rather than impose some random rules on them.

Make sure the rules are simple and easy enough for them to follow. Help them understand that, as a family, just like parts of the body, when they do their part it becomes easy for parents to do their part.
She added that other ways to come up with house rules could be around three main areas:

• Firstly, protection from harm (don’t go outside to play without telling any adult first, as it may be too dangerous out there. Don’t play near the kitchen when I am cooking, as you may get hurt from fire, sharp objects.

• Secondly, taking care of things (keep your toys away after playing with them so they don’t get lost and you become miserable, make your bed when you wake up, keep your clothes in the laundry basket after taking them off so that they can get washed).

• Lastly, showing respect for other members of the house (no fighting with your brother or sister as they can get hurt).

Make sure you explain the rules and the reason why it is necessary for everyone to adhere. When they understand the reason for the rule, they are most likely going to cooperate in implementing it. When you have put it together, confirm that everyone is happy with it. Then, print it on a piece of paper and place it where everyone can be reminded of it, and everyone means that adults, too, are not exempted.

Remember, when you model following the rules with your children, they will have no choice but to take after you.

Photo credit: Fantastic Services Group.

Source: Guardian

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Nike Folagbade: Ladies, 3 Ways To Become Approachable By Men

For a long time, I kept turning men off with my hard look. I wasn’t always smiling. A long face became a default and this made some men stay away. I had few people who approached me to correct me but I always felt they didn’t know what they were saying.

Ladies, do you want to be more approachable?

These days, a lot of men complain that it’s difficult talking to some girls because they either get shunned or don’t even bother approaching due to what they sense from afar.

I decided to write on 3 quick tips to make you more approachable among many other tips.

  1. Can you just smile? That was what a man told me as I came out of the bank some weeks back. I wondered if it was his business to frown but the more I frowned, the more he said, “Please just smile”. But I thought about it later on that he must have had the boldness to tell me while some ignored me because I didn’t smile. It’s not easy for men to approach ladies but your smiling face and open external attitude can reduce the fear in them.

Smiling increases good life and good health too.  Please smile.

  1. Look smart, classy and bright: To be sincere, I’m visual and I like it when people look good. This morning, I approached a lady and said, “Your gown is fine.” She didn’t hear me well, so I repeated it three times for her to notice and she smiled back and said thank you. Who no like better thing?

Looking good enhances a friendly environment and attention. Looking hot is different from nudity.

I was bad with my dressing before I got married and it made me less attractive. I shared so many wrong things I did in my book; “How I Got The Ring”. It took a lot of conscious effort, research and intentionality for me to get better.

There is a part of you that enhances your beauty, enhance it well. I have soft and nice lips, but at least, I can add a touch of wet lips or lipstick. Please don’t use lipstick to get a man if you will not use it after marriage.

Looking good is first from the mind so it has to reflect. You may look good and still not be approachable; you need to add the smile I mentioned above.

  1. Be humble and respectful: The only way to make a man feel a little comfortable when he approaches you is by responding to his little “HI or Hello” with a courteous response. It speaks a lot. Don’t just treat people like they are nothing.

The fact that he is shorter than you want doesn’t mean you should ignore him. Be nice, you may meet again. The fact that he wasn’t in a car doesn’t mean he is not valuable either. You may be surprised at where you will meet him later on. Be careful to create a good impression even if you don’t attend to his offer.

Not all friendships should become intimate relationships so build other kinds of relationships intentionally.

What are the other ways to become approachable?

I know we have a lot of them, do tell me some.

 

About Nike

Nike Adedokun Folagbade helps singles build healthy relationships via break up, dating and relationships coaching.

Her goal is to help many singles recover from heartbreaks, attract and keep the right partner and build healthy relationships.

She has been featured in numerous magazines, newspaper, television and radio programs like Channels, The Punch, Business Day News, CoreTv, The guardian, City fm, Happenings Radio amongst others.

Her Facebook group, The Right Partner Community is targeted at helping one single at a time achieve their relationship milestone. She blogs at www.nikefolagbade.com and can be reached via adenikeadedokun@gmail.com or hello@nikefolagbade.com

 

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4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Underestimate  A Classy Lady

You may be deceived by her poise and elegance. You think that underneath it all, she may not be firm or be able to put her foot down. But don’t be fooled. Classy women are women of substance. Although their exterior appears seamless, they can very well be spitfires.

Here’s why:

She’s passionate about what she believes in

Classy women are adamant about what they feel is right and wrong, and will express their point of view. What they won’t do is demote the opinions of other well-meaning people–-they use their emotional intelligence to build bridges with others.

She knows how to set boundaries

They won’t hesitate to make their needs crystal clear and will speak up in order to get what they deserve. They don’t get bogged down with minutia and know how to use the word “no.”

She’s calm under crises

Even when they’re dealing with stressful situations, classy women know how to maintain their cool. People may wreak havoc and act out of sorts, but under pressure she conserves her energy and puts it to good use.  

She’s selective about her priorities 

They’re choosy about what they focus their attention on – not because they don’t care about others’ concerns, but because they know what takes precedence. If they have a deadline to meet or an emergency to handle, the less immediate things can wait.

She doesn’t have to do it all 

They aren’t afraid to delegate what they don’t have time to do, after all they’re only human. The ability to ask for help is a sign of their strength and knowledge of self. They’ll never see this as a weakness.

Source: womenworking.com



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Toddy Rosiji: 4 Signs You Are Better Off As Friends With Him

Sometimes the line between like and love can be hard to distinguish. We’ve all been in that one relationship with a guy where all the pieces fit together perfectly.

He was charming and smart and funny and sweet and you get along like gangbusters. But in spite of all of this, there was a little voice in your head wondering…

“Would we be better off just as friends?”

Let’s get one thing straight right now: There is nothing WRONG with friendship.

Friendship is dope as hell and really rewarding for the people in it. How can you tell if he’s a perfect boyfriend or better off as your bud? There are lots of different signs, but we’ve pulled together the big ones to help you out.

Here are 4  signs you and your boyfriend are better of just as best friends

  1. You can’t imagine a future together.

You’ve been dating exclusively for a little while now. So it’s natural you stop to think about the future.

Not so natural?

Maybe you just can’t picture it. Or you don’t like what you see. You like him a lot, maybe you even love him, but when you think about making a life with him in it you draw a blank.

2. You love him but not that way.

When your friends talk about how much they love their boyfriends you get worried. Sure, you LOVE your boyfriend, but you aren’t on cloud nine or anything.

He’s a great guy, you take care of each other, you’ve got a lot of common interests. But it doesn’t seem like the storybook love affair true love is supposed to be. That’s because it isn’t … it’s true friendship.

3. You hate living with him.

You guys have been living together for a while and… You can’t stand it. It’s not that you each have quirks and need to get used to each other.  It’s that you aren’t compatible as living partners romantically.  You’d be better off as buddies, hell, even as roommates.

4. You want to open the relationship up.

Your relationship is going just okay. You have sex, and it’s also just okay. You don’t want to break up because it feels like there’s no real reason to. But you want to open up the relationship so that you can meet new people. Boredom and dissatisfaction in your relationship is not a sign you should open things up.

It’s a sign you’re dating a friend and not a lover.

 

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6 Beauty Hacks Using Shea Butter

 

Shea butter is a kind of butter that comes from the seeds of the fruit of Shea (karite) tree and is quite rich in Vitamin A, E, and F. Shea butter is used for many things but we are going to be focusing on some of the ways it can be used to achieve a beautiful and supple skin and hair.

Shea butter as a skin moisturizer: Shea butter contains natural vitamins and fatty acids which nourishes, moisturizes, and make the skin glows. It also restores moisture to dry skin.

 

Shea butter as a sunscreen and tanning cream: Shea butter contains antioxidant properties and provides UV protection (SPF 6) to prevent and heal sunburns.

 

Shea butter for eyelashes: Apply shea butter to your eyelashes to make your lashes thick, full, and healthy.

 

For hair: Shea butter is a natural conditioner for hair. It softens hair, seals in moisture, defines curls, conditions scalp, and alleviate dandruff. Shea butter also enhances hair growth.

 

Shea butter for healing scars and wounds: Shea butter contains anti-inflammatory properties e.g lupeol cinnate, which prevents the development of tumors. Also, due to its high content of vitamin A, it is effective in promoting healing of skin allergies like rashes, eczema, burns, stretch marks, etc.

 

For Make-up: Apply shea butter to your face before applying makeup to make it last longer. It can also be used as a lip balm as it nourishes and makes the lip supple and soft. To make your eyeshadow last longer, dab a bit of shea butter on your eyelid before applying eye shadow. Shea butter can also be used as a makeup remover. It is also the best eye wrinkles remover!

So why not incorporate Shea butter to your daily beauty regimen!

 

credits: google.com

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FREE – The Journey Of Six Women Through Sexual Molestation To Healing

FREE was launched virtually in Lagos on Wednesday, 13 May 2020 at 3pm on Zoom.

FREE is a book by Debola Salako-Kupoluyi that exposes sexual molestation in children, its effects and provides a guide to healing through transformational tools.

The book FREE was inspired by God and the essence is to bring change to the next generation by shining a bright light where few others dare to go.

Free reveals how six successful women were sexually abused when they were children. It highlights precautions that could be taken to avoid sexual abuse in children and emphasizes the importance of parenting. The book FREE is real and powerful – it would leave you in awe of the potentials that the human soul has to endure pain and rise to great heights.

FREE is for people of all ages and more specifically written for children, teenagers, their parents/guardian and anyone at all who has suffered the ugly acts of sexual molestation and its effects.

The author is in partnership with Cece Yara Foundation and Mantle of Mordecai (MOM) foundation to provide professional counselling, treatment and ongoing support to children who are victims of sexual abuse helped through FREE.

As part of the commitment to eradicating childhood sexual molestation, 25% of proceeds from the sale of FREE would go to Cece Yara foundation. Its mission is to prevent child sexual molestation through community empowerment and support. Also, 25% to Mantle of Mordecai (MOM) foundation. Its mission is to enhance the value of life of children by ensuring that they get quality education. The proceeds will be used to sponsor the education of a child who is a victim of sexual abuse.

The e-copy of the book is now available online on Amazon Kindle and Okadabooks. Hardcopy preorder is also ongoing, and it will be ready for distribution within three weeks.

See link to order e-copy or preorder hardcopy https://linktr.ee/Freebydsk

Follow us on social media via the handle below for more information

Twitter, Facebook and Instagram: free_by_dsk

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