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Toyin Abraham is out with a new vlog on YouTube Channel, and this time she’s talking about choosing the right career.

Choosing the right career can be difficult, but having a defined career direction will help you with getting a job. But with a little hard work, some planning, and some serious self-reflection, you can set yourself on a path towards a fruitful, fulfilling career.

Watch the vlog below:

People seem to believe that they can simply think their way straight to success. They mistakenly believe that if they just think about their dreams often enough and vividly enough that–poof!–They’ll just seem to come true.

But life is not a magic trick.

If you told a starving child in Africa who had not have a single meal in five days to use the Law of Attraction to manifest a meal for themselves, how well do you think it would work out for them?

Clearly, there’s more to it than envisioning what you want.

If you want to know what it really takes to achieve your greatest goals and ambitions, then here’s a list of steps that will outline how to use the Law of Attraction the proper way.

  1. Focus Your Thoughts in the Direction of Your Dreams

If you were to take a pebble and toss it into a pond, what happens?

As soon as the pebble strikes the surface of the water, you get a series of ripples or waves, which spread outwards in a circular direction, until they get to the shoreline and seem to stop.

The larger the pebble, the larger the ripples. The larger the pebble, the higher the waves.

Two stones of different sizes and weights tossed in at the same time, at different places but in close proximity, will both create a series of ripples, which will eventually merge with one another…

When the two sets of ripples converge, there seems to be a bit of a struggle as to which one overcomes or passes the other.

As far as the human eye can see, if the ripples are the same size, both seem to stop or merge when they collide.

But if one set of ripples is larger than the other, the larger set sweeps over the smaller set and creates waves in the wake of the smaller ripples.

Let’s consider this analogy in relation to our own thought-patterns and mental impulses…

Imagine you’ve got two stones in each hand.

The stone in your left hand is labeled, “failure”

The stone in your right hand is labeled, “success”

The weight of each stone is in direct proportion to the amount of *thought* you give its label.

So… How heavy are your stones?

If your “failure” stone is heavier, then its ripples will simply stop or takeover the ripples created by your stone labeled “success.”

But if your “success” stone is heavier, then that will be the one that takes over.

  1. Put Some Actions Where Your Thoughts Are

Many people make the mistake of looking at the Law of Attraction as if it were a stand-alone solution to making their dreams a reality. They believe that they can make a vision board and use positive thinking to achieve success.

But these folks need a wake-up call, because positive thinking is not enough. It will never be enough.

If we THINK positive, but we still FEEL negative, then how will we ACT?

Your thoughts, actions and feelings are like a three-legged stool. Positive thinking is powerful, but only when we think of it as one of the three necessary legs that reinforces the stool we’re sitting on.

If we don’t want the stool to wobble or break, we’ve got to make sure we give each leg the care it needs to keep us from falling down and getting hurt.

The key here, with making the Law of Attraction work for you, is to focus on being as congruent as possible between your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

What’s the best way to do that?

First, remember that the way you THINK has got to be in line with the way you ACT. Because the way you act is going to have an impact on the way you FEEL.

And the way you feel is going to help reinforce the way you think, or it’s going to help you re-examine the way you think. Which is going to circle right back around into helping you decide the way you choose to act in any given situation.

The Bottom Line

It’s not the Law of Attraction or positive thinking alone that drives our success in life — it’s about being in positive congruence between the way we think, act, and feel that drives our success in life… And at the very least, keeps us from falling off the stool.

If we want to make big things happen, we’ve got to take action.

This is the kind of headline you see and get a panic attack, especially if you have been working so hard and trying to keep hope alive! I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, but I have seen it so much and experienced it myself after working with over 5,000 small businesses either in a training, coaching or consulting capacity. I hear the hope in their voices, see the eagerness in their eyes, maybe just maybe they are about to create a business that will change the game from their kitchen to Wall Street like Carols daughter. I don’t have the heart to tell them it is not going to happen, so I decided to write an article and tell you (now I am not talking to anyone directly, but I am talking to everyone who needs to hear!) These are the reasons:

1. The danger of a single channel: God bless Instagram! Maker of millennial millionaires and torture to generation Xers who can’t seem to get a hang of how to translate this single channel to millions. The next time I have a strategy session with a generation Xer who laments to me about their lack of business growth due to an inability to monetize Instagram, I am probably going to pull my hair out!

Instagram is an amazing social media channel to reach customers and it should be harnessed. However if you are looking to scale your business in a Country where over 70 percent of transactions are still done off line, you have to explore multiple channels to reach your customers.

Go where your customers are and believe me, they are in multiple places aside from Instagram. (I share more details about channels in my new book small to scale. Details on how you can get the e-book for free is at the end)

If that’s your only marketing channel, surely you are neglecting 70% of your market and you want to scale?

2. Your money is our money: after paying school fees from my business revenues, I am low on cash flow! Alas this was the lament of a client who was the breadwinner in her home. Can you blame her? Her Children have to go to school, after all why was she working so hard… 95% of businesses in Nigeria are micro businesses and they struggle to grow because they are really just vehicles for the business owner to take care of their family needs. I am sure you have heard several times that you should separate your business finance from your personal finance and instead pay yourself a salary. But how many of us are practicing this strictly? How do we grow or scale a business when we keep eroding the capital to meet our personal needs?
I know, I know, it’s not your fault. It’s the state of the economy and other life realities….

3. Doing it the way they do it: hey ‘Tale, have you noticed that XYZ Company seems to be making a lot of money? Really, I replied. How do you know? Well, they just bought a new bus or opened a new store. This is how “Me too” strategy is killing a lot of small businesses who are attempting to copy others without really knowing what is happening behind the scenes.

There is nothing wrong with bench marking with your industry colleagues, but making major business changes or decisions based on something you heard or think you understand is unreliable. Your business decisions should be driven by a clear strategy and not by trying to do it the way they do it without clear direction.

4. I can do “bad” all by myself: one of the greatest tests I have seen small businesses fail is the hiring test. I know the excuses…I can’t afford to hire the type or quality of staff that I need, so I will do everything by myself. Okay it might not be an excuse, it is your reality right? Some years ago, one of my clients hired a COO who earned twice the salary of the CEO. I had to ask why that decision was made. I was told that the person came with many years of experience working in a multinational and that they wanted their small business to grow and operate at that standard. Suffice to say, the business experienced exponential growth in a few short years. The next question I am usually asked is; what if I make the wrong hiring decision? My response is; like in everything in life, correct your mistake quickly, learn from it and hire right the next time. However what I see a lot of businesses doing is returning to status quo. At least I will have one less person to pay the business owners rationalizes, how about the loss of revenues from trying to do it all by yourself and dropping the ball?

5. Planting an oak tree in a flower pot: the thought of the analogy sounds ridiculous right? But that’s what I see so many small business owners trying to do! People want to build million dollar factories with a few hundred thousand naira and expect that by some miracle and pure resilience, things would translate as such. I am not saying you shouldn’t start small, I am a big advocate of starting small and scaling.

I am currently building my third business with the principle of starting small, however what is different is the approach and the structure that would ensure that it scales. When you want to build a business that will scale, you build it with that mindset from day one. This will include your vision, your business structure, your capital structure, your business model and your team.

You have to lay the right foundation for the type of building you want to construct. If you have laid the foundation for a bungalow and you attempt to build an eight story building on it, do you know what will happen? Then you know why many small businesses won’t scale….

Learn how to avoid these mistakes in my new book- “Small to scale-The blueprint for transforming your small business into a high growth company” I am giving it out for free in ebook format to the first 10,000 people who subscribe to join the waitlist of our new finance matching and business support platform-Owoafara. Join at www.owoafara.com/join

The Social activist, and convener of several development projects took to her social media page  few days ago to announce her new initiative “Get Talking with Esther”. The multi-award winning author and columnist said the show is aimed at helping people find their voice and communicate their thoughts through words, and promote positivity on social media.
Esther started her career over 10 years ago as a social activist, and she has since taken her gift to other areas, doing humanitarian work and giving hope to the helpless and downtrodden in the society. Her Initiatives include; Walk against rape, Women of Rubies, Men who Inspire and Rubygirls, all under the umbrella of Rubies Ink Initiative.
According to Esther; “ I am very expressive, I love to write and read from people, I love to celebrate people and give them hope, I love when I can feel people’s thoughts through words, and “Get talking with Esther” is just about that.  A #Tweetchat session that will give you the ambience of a show.
Basically, using my platform, years of experience, and skillset for social good to give everyone a voice. We are going to be fixing broken tables, Bringing “Under the table” conversations to the front burner for positivity. Sharing life experiences, healing and learning.
The show kicks off on August 8th, with family therapist and life coach; Praise Fowowe as the first guest.
Those who follow the chats have the opportunity of winning free gifts, food, and cash prizes weekly. #GetTalkingwithEsther is supported by Greenbliss Apartments and Abimbola Oki’s Dpotters Catering services.
To get more scoop on the initiative, kindly follow @estherijewere and Tweet using #GettalkingwithEsther
Click this link to follow and be part of the show  https://twitter.com/EstherIjewere?s=09

Do you want to have a flawless skin? Do you love women with flawless skin? Do you wish to be like them?

Are you tired of paying huge sums of money for body soaps and creams? Do you want to be the toast of others because of your skin as you step out?

You need to read this article. If you want to have a flawless skin, take these tips to heart:

  1. Wash your face before you go to bed. Don’t wear makeup to bed. You are not doing your face any good if you do that all the time.
  2. Use a moisturizer. Your skin needs a good moisturizer to glow. You need yourself natural skin glow to be the envy of other people. Get a moisturizer with Sun Protection SPF.
  3. Don’t scrub your skin too hard. Be gentle with your skin. Over scrubbing your skin can make your skin red and irritable
  4. Eat good food and get regular exercise. Don’t load your body with junk food. Eat lots of fruits, protein and vegetables. Consume real food and do away with fast-food and sodas.
  5. Exfoliate your skin to remove the layers of dead skin cells and dirt that are blocking your pores and your skin’s natural glow. Get exfoliating products that contain alpha hydroxy and lactic acids for your skin.
  6. Make sure you clean your phone regularly. Your phone picks up lots of bacteria, which can be transferred to your face when you make a phone call. Wipe your screen with an anti-bacterial wipe often to get rid of germs.
  7. Stop touching your face. Touching your face all the time might be the reason for those blemishes on your cheek or jaw. Germs get transferred to your hands from touching other things.
  8. Change your pillowcase. If you don’t use clean pillowcase often, your skin can suffer breakouts. Your pillowcases carry dirt and sweat from your hair, hands, and beauty products you use.
  9. Wash your makeup brushes every week with brush cleanser or baby shampoo. Your makeup tools can accumulate bacteria, which can lead to breakouts.
  10. Don’t forget to use skin protection. You shouldn’t reserve using sunscreen only when the weather is hot — your skin needs protection all the time.

There are sunscreens for every skin type. Get the one that help make your skin less oily, so that your face remains matte and pimple-free.

Source: Feminine.com.ng

We can all feel stuck at times in our emotions. They can be so strong that they literally dominate our thoughts and it can be hard to focus on anything else. God gives us a way to deal with tough emotions and that it through prayer. Let’s  look at 5 emotions we can all face and how you can turn your heart to God.

When you’re feeling worried….

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Write down everything you are worried about. Write down everything you feel grateful for.  Pray about each worry. Thank God for everything you feel grateful for.

PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7

God’s promise is that by turning to prayer, he can take our worries away and actually give us peace!

When you’re feeling afraid…

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. God wants us to tell him all our fears and share all our feelings with him.

PSALM 34:4

God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears. [5] Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him.

When your heart is sad and angry

What relationships in your life cause you pain and sadness? Who do you feel bitter towards? Pray about the hurt, sadness, and pain you feel that is making you angry.

When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day. Do not give the devil a way to defeat you. Share the anger with God and ask him to help you let go of it.

Pray about how the anger hurts relationships and allows Satan to defeat you and divide relationships.

PSALM 73:21

God can help us  deal with our pain and sadness. He can help us overcome bitterness when that is our response to the pain.

When you’re feeling jealous…

Anger is cruel and destroys like a flood, but no one can put up with jealousy! Who do you have jealousy towards? Admit jealousy to God in prayer and how it hurts, divides, and distances your  relationships. Peace of mind means a healthy body, but jealousy will rot your bones.

PROVERBS 14:30

Pray about how jealousy harms you, how it makes you unhappy or depressed because you always feel like other people have it better than you.

When you’re feeling disappointed…

It is sad not to get what you hoped for. But wishes that come true are like eating fruit from the tree of life. What disappointments have you experienced in your life? Take time to share those things with God.

PROVERBS 13:12

Disappointment affects our hearts more than we realize.

Challenge:

Decide everyday to take time to journal out your feelings to God (each of ones listed above). Take time to pray through those feelings everyday along with scriptures that help you understand God’s perspective on those emotions.

Photocredit ; http://thehoustonblackpages.com/

By: Esther Ijewere

Email: Esther@womenofrubies.com

Twitter & Instagram : @estherijewere

Facebook: Esther Ijewere

***Esther Is a Social Activist, Writer, Author Columnist and the Editor in Chief of Women of Rubies.

In a commencement speech to the graduating student, former anchor, TV show host, and actor Oprah Winfrey urged the students to understand, appreciate, and execute their will to become ‘successful’ in life.
While the speech was tailored to inspire the fresh batch of graduates, looking to enter the world of adults and make their marks, certain aspects of Oprah’s  speech hold value for all of us.

  1. Alignment between who you are and what you do

“It is understanding that there is an alignment between who you are and what you do, is what authentic empowerment is.” it is imperative that your work becomes an extended version of who you are—it will push you to do what you do- all the better.

2. Fulfilment, the major definition of success

“…How to be used in the greater service to life. Ask this question and the answer will be returned and rewarded to you with fulfilment, which is the major definition of success, to me.”
To Oprah, fulfilment is directly synonymous with her idea of success. Citing her own experience, she states that one can only understand fulfilment, if they don’t have to approach another for the answer to their questions. It is only when they can fend for themselves, when they become self-reliant, they begin to emerge as the winner in their own stories. While seeking help and recommendations, we often forget that we are our greatest support-system. Next time you need help, look inwards. More often than not, you’ll find that you had the solution all along.

3. Listen to your inner-self

“Everybody has what I call this instinct, this inner voice. Every decision I’ve ever made that led me to the right space and place in my life, I got there because I relied on that inner voice.”
When Oprah made the decision of leaving the network to go launch her own show, she knew that she was taking a huge risk. She knew that she might fall flat on her face. However, as she said in her speech, she had this inner-voice urging her on, telling her that this was the right thing to do. And so she listened to it, and as a result, she is now one of the richest women in the world. All of us wrestle with making the ‘correct decisions’, no matter how big or small. There is always the possibility that we could make a huge mistake. However, we all have that voice in our head, telling us what we need to do. And more often than not, it helps us make some of the best decisions of our lives.

4. What is your intention?
“I decided that the notion of intention, knowing why you want to do something, not just doing it but understanding the why behind the doing, could also change the paradigm for every show.” Adding to this in a different speech, she said: “The reason we were number one for 25 solid years is because we intended to be.”
Inspired by the works of Gary Zukav, one of the greatest influences in her life, Oprah says that without intention, life never picks up and success becomes a far-off dream. However, when you intend to make something of your work, your ambitions, and your dreams, it pays off and you get where you need to be.
Oprah passionately believes that listening to her own desires and acting upon them with great intention got her where she is today. Maybe it’s time, you try the same.

Often times, children (especially the younger ones) may not have the ability to verbalize their feelings. As a parent, it is your duty to observe them carefully for any signs of stress. Stress symptoms may be long or short – it all depends on the severity of the situation.

As a parent, you would have gone through one difficult situation or the other – but when it comes to your kids, you sometimes might not have an idea on how to help them cope with difficult circumstances.

Life will always have its ups and downs and the earlier kids know how to cope in these kinds of situations, the better for them. The first thing to do when something negative happens is to answer their questions – this helps them understand what’s happening and teach them how to cope in the future.

Often times, children (especially the younger ones) may not have the ability to verbalize their feelings. As a parent, it is your duty to observe them carefully for any signs of stress. Stress symptoms may be long or short – it all depends on the severity of the situation.

Stress symptoms may include one or a combination of the following:

  • There may be changes in eating, sleeping, or bathroom habits
  • Children may experience increased separation anxiety
  • They may experience bad dreams
  • Crying spells
  • Kids may become withdrawn
  • Increased aggressive behavior or unnecessary tantrums

How can you help your children cope with stress? Here’s what you can do:

  • Encourage kids to express their feelings. Allow them to express whatever it is they’re experiencing and let them know it is okay to feel the way they do.
  • Ensure that they follow routines as much as possible. In addition, ensure they eat healthy meals and rest adequately.
  • For older kids, allow them read books that’ll teach them about characters in stressful situations – they will learn how to cope.
  • Encourage your kids to exercise. Simple exercises such as dancing, walking and swimming can help reduce the effect of stress.

If a child isn’t adjusted properly and is still showing signs of stress after a long period of time, it is in the best interest of the child that you seek professional advice immediately.

Helping Children Deal with Traumatic Events

In traumatic situations, children often react in different ways, depending on their personality. While some continue as though nothing happened, some may experience sadness or worse still, depression. If your child is experiencing difficulty, it is important that they are provided with the love and stability to help them process and overcome the situation.

Here are some guidelines to help you:

Answer children’s questions

The aftermath of an accident or dramatic incident may leave children with a lot of questions. Just like us, kids also need their feelings acknowledged, as well as an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Also, ensure that your explanation of the event matches the child’s developmental understanding.

Reassure them as much as you can

Physical contact such as holding and hugging not only reassures your little one, it’s also a great way to help your child feel safe. In addition, you can help the child feel better about the situation and provide comfort without giving wrong information or false hopes. For example, saying “I am sure everything is going to be fine” will help to put your child’s mind to rest.

Remain observant

Ensure that you keep a watchful eye on your child even as their thoughts and feelings about the situation evolves. Listen to them, ask questions and continue to reassure them as much as you can. Most importantly, give them the opportunity to express themselves.

Remember that life comes with its challenges and it’s your duty as a parent to teach and show your child(ren) how to go through life by handling these difficult situations positively.

Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” If that’s true, you’d better believe that you’re going to catch any noxious qualities your top 5 are suffering from. Keep in mind: these kinds of infections aren’t only spread through physical contact. You can catch them through social media or even television. In other words, the 5 people you spend the most time with could be people you haven’t met, people whose Instagram profiles you constantly peruse or even fictional characters on a television show you watch daily.

At any rate, if any of your top 5 people are on this list, quarantine yourself from them post-haste before you catch their bad qualities.

The pessimist

You find the day looks a little grayer after hanging out with this fellow. She has a habit of seeing the mud instead of the sun, and she tends to leave glasses half empty all over your house. Her negativity is catching, so make sure to expel this friend from your life.

Symptoms of spending time with the pessimist are: loss of sunny attitude, prevalent dissatisfaction with daily activities, whiny voice and chronic complaining.

The envier

She can’t help but want what you have. This is the girl  who starts telling you how great single life is as soon as you have a boyfriend or plays down the fact that you rocked it at work. Good friends are happy about your successes, but the envier is not a good friend.

Symptoms of having this character in your life: unusual dissatisfaction with and unwarranted guilt for things you were previously grateful for.

The gossiper

I’m not going to say there’s no satisfaction from gossiping, but at the end of the day, do you want to be a person who talks about others behind their backs? This friend makes all that dishing so easy-it’s practically inescapable. He thinks he’s making others look bad, but when all is said and done, the gossiper is the one who’s looking pretty awful.

Symptoms of chilling with your gossiper homie: increased unfair judgment, damaged friendships and loss of trust.

The victim

“Woe is me!” is the mantra of this friend. She doesn’t appreciate your advice because there’s obviously nothing she can do to fix the situation. I mean, it’s not like any of her life’s tragedies are her fault.

Symptoms of having a victim in your life: recurring pointed finger, loss of problem-solving skills and reduced motivation.

The backstabber

Let’s be real-Caesar didn’t seem too surprised when Brutus approached him with a knife. You know which friends you can trust and which you can’t. Don’t give someone trust they don’t deserve. The backstabber wants the upper hand, and staying friends with this character is just giving him the opportunity to take it.

Symptoms of developing a relationship with a backstabber: damaged reputation, diminished self-esteem and increased desire to grab knives.

Even though these people are infecting you, take care when removing them from your life. After all, your goodness may have a healing effect on them. This doesn’t mean you should be in the business of fixing anyone. It just means you should do your best to avoid causing further damage when you might have the power to soothe their ails.

On the other hand, you can always avoid making these toxic people the top 5 who occupy your life. Limit their presence on your news feed. Dilute their influence by hanging out with them in groups. And if this toxic person is someone you don’t even know, remove him or her completely.

 The buzzwords going around this first month of the year are Goals and Goal-Setting! Throughout the media, Internet and even in the Board Rooms, Goal setting is BIG. It’s everywhere and everyone is talking about how important it is to set your goals.

Before now goal setting was considered a masculine activity. Women relish in their ability to multi-task and get loads of things done at the same time and quickly too, so they shy away from setting clear, specific and meaningful goals. Many female entrepreneurs still have not realised the power of setting effective business goals.

To be a female entrepreneur without business goals is like getting in the car and driving around town without a clear direction of where you are going!

It is impossible to really know if your daily activities and strategies are moving you in the right direction if you do not set business goals.

Can you imagine getting in the car to go shopping without knowing what market or shop you want to go to or where they are located? That is precisely what you do when you begin your business year without a goal in mind.

Not only should you set goals for your business, you should also map out strategies on how you will achieve each goal and set deadlines. Goals should be written down and reviewed over time to ensure you are hitting your targets. Here are a few tips to help you set achievable goals in 2017.

Identify What You Want

The first real step to an effective goal setting is knowing what you want in life. As simple as that may sound if you ask many people what they want and where they would realistically want to be in a year, two years or five years, they do not have a clue. Speak to employers of labour, I’m sure they can relate!

So sit down and work out what you truly want in life, business, family, career and even leisure. There is an excellent tool you can use as guide called ‘The Wheel of Life’.

Make Your Goals Holistic

Set goals in every area of your life – Social, Family, Business, Relationships, Leisure, Spiritual and Financial Goals.

Write Your Goals Down

Write down your goals as often as you can. Our brain cannot keep a tab on all our thoughts so, Write Them Down! Remember, The faintest ink is more powerful than the strongest memory!

Keep It Simple

Do not overwhelm yourself with too many goals. You cannot change everything in a day. And everything you want in life cannot be achieved in one single year. So keep it real, keep it simple!! Take consistent action and over time, you will get to where you want to be

One Step At A Time

Don’t get overwhelmed with goals that seem too far-fetched and unrealistic. They should be realistic and achievable. For example if you are a jewelry maker and you currently make 10 jewelry sets a week. Would it make sense to increase to 100 a week from 10? A more realistic goal would be 15-20 a week and when you achieve that you can increase again to 25 -30. In other words, set incremental goals and build the momentum. This way your Goals Will Be Achievable Or Doable.

Record Your Milestones

Track your progress and list your accomplishments as you go along. This is important because when you hit setbacks and get frustrated, your achievement so far will help you stay encouraged and focused.

Reward Yourself

Whenever you have achieved a set goal, reward yourself. This helps you to stay motivated.Clearly, from these few tips, goal setting is definitely not as complex and scary as it sometimes appears. Setting goals is only designed to help stretch you and make you grow.

Nonetheless after following these steps, if you don’t take action to execute all you have put down, your goals will be nothing but dreams or a mere wish and that doesn’t take you anywhere but leaves you worse than the person who didn’t write at all! So, take charge of your goals and focus on achieving great results. You can do it!