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Getting motivated at work is often easier said than done. Sure, you might have the best intentions, but then three hours have passed and you’ve accomplished nothing.

Motivation can be fleeting, but there are workarounds for when you’re feeling like taking a nap rather than knocking out your to do list.

Natural motivation comes and goes–but with a few good tips, you can make getting motivated a consistent practice so that you never find yourself feeling stuck in the no-motivation zone.

So what causes lack of motivation at work–and what can you do to overcome it?

What is lack of motivation and what causes it?

Lack of motivation typically manifests itself with physical and mental symptoms: Feeling tired, exhausted, and having poor concentration or focus.

The French word for this is ennui, which means a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction that comes from a lack of interest or excitement.

When people lack motivation at work, they often they have a hard time completing tasks, miss deadlines, and withdraw from group activity, becoming very quiet and disengaged.

What causes a lack of motivation?

The sources for this problem are vast, but can be linked to things like:

1. No opportunity for advancement or development.

When a job feels like a dead end, it’s hard to get motivated to do your best work and keep pushing forward.

2. Lack of direction within a role.

Those who are trying to figure out what exactly they’re supposed to be doing within their job often find themselves spinning their wheels. Make sure you have a detailed job description, clear objectives, and benchmarks in place so you can get motivated to meet them.

3. Burnout.

If you’re working too hard, too long, and on too many things, you’re probably feeling unmotivated and burnt out. This stressful behavior can zap your productivity and lead to resentment toward your daily work.

4. Lack of a leadership at work.

If your boss isn’t leading at work, it’s probably hard to get excited and motivated about projects–and this may be a chronic flaw within the organization.

5. Feeling unvalued.

If you feel unappreciated and like you’re not a valuable part of the team, you’re probably not motivated to contribute and do your best work. It may be time to have a frank discussion about how your company can be better about celebrating wins and acknowledging process and success.

6. Conflict with team members.

Drama at work is distracting, demoralizing, and makes it hard to concentrate on actual work-related tasks. If you’re dealing with conflict at work, take the issue to your supervisor and have a mediator help resolve the issue so you can both move past it.

7. Personal issues.

Sometimes life gets in the way of work–there’s no way around it. From marital issues to family health and everything in between, life just happens. Therapy, time off, and transparency with your boss can help you get through it a little bit more quickly.

Tips for getting motivated at work.

So what can you do to become more motivated at work?

Here are a few ideas, plus insights from real people who’ve found them effective and scientific research on why they work so well.

Change your scenery.

Sometimes you just need a change of scenery to reset your brain and spur some motivation. Talk a walk (or a full mental health day) to take in some fresh scenery and practice mindfulness.

As you take your walk, consider going to a quiet area in nature, walking in a green or tree-filled area (rather than an urban or residential area) has significant health benefits. Forest walking reduces heart rate and significantly decreases depression, fatigue, anxiety, and confusion.

Other people recommend simply changing your work setting and escaping your traditional work environment to mix things up. Using a cafe, co-working space, or restaurant as a mobile office may help spur productivity.

Create a routine.

Achieving a state of flow at work is no easy task, but building a consistent routine is one way to simplify the process. By implementing regular tactics like time batching, a productivity system, or even listening to the right music regularly, you can get into motivated work mode a bit more easily.

Don’t overload your schedule.

Putting too much on your to-do list is a great way to kill motivation, as it leads to overwhelm and decision paralysis.

If you feel like there’s too much to do, consider prioritizing the most important tasks, delegating where you can, and speaking with your supervisor to look for other solutions to the problem.

Make sure you have down time in your schedule as well, as this will help provide a short mental rest that keeps you from overloading yourself.

Get organized.

Another way to spur motivation is to start with a clean slate and a well-organized plan of action.

Clean up your workspace and computer screen, create a new (prioritized) to-do list, and let the clarity this provides lead the way.

Get a good night’s sleep.

It’s hard to get motivated at work when you can barely keep your eyes open. Good sleep is essential for focus, so be sure that you’re getting six to eight hours of rest per night.

This might mean establishing a sleep routine and putting down the devices a bit earlier in the evening, but the mental recharge this provides will be well worth the adjustment.

“Being chronically tired to the point of fatigue or exhaustion means that we are less likely to perform well. Neurons do not fire optimally, muscles are not rested, and the body’s organ systems are not synchronized. Lapses in focus from sleep deprivation can even result in accidents or injury.”

Establish a support network/accountability partner.

If you’re struggling to stay on-task and motivated on projects, consider getting an accountability partner, a mentor, or a general support network who can help you stay on track. Having to report to someone else will give you more reason to get motivated, and these people can serve as your cheerleaders along the way, encouraging you to keep going.

If you’re struggling to find someone for this role, consider looking to online forums, social networks, and contacts within your virtual network. Your partner doesn’t have to be someone you see day to day, but it should be someone you feel comfortable checking in with regularly (even if it’s only through phone or video conversations.)

Final Thoughts.

Get motivated to work, get more done
Now that you know some of the causes for a lack of motivation at work and some handy tips for overcoming those days when you don’t feel like doing anything, the only thing left to do is to test some out. Try a few different tactics and see what works best at getting you back to your high-functioning self.

 

Are you looking for ways to cultivate more motivation, engagement, or life satisfaction? Celebrating the small victories consistently could be the energy boost you need!

What Is a “Small Win?”

First, let’s establish what a “small win” is. Small wins are anything you accomplish that aligns with your intentions. They can be related to work, personal or professional relationships, habit changes, and basically every aspect of your life. Small wins can be easy to gloss over, especially if you’ve been raised on a diet of self-criticism and perfectionism.

Here’s an example. Let’s say that you intend to be less judgmental of others. A small victory might simply be noticing when you start to think something judgmental about how someone else says the word “milk.” Even though the thought still popped into your head when they pronounced it “melk” or “meek” you at least noticed yourself in the thought.

Paying attention to your thoughts opens the door for you to question why everyone must pronounce words the same way. Maybe you’re the one saying it wrong? This is awareness. And as they say, awareness is the key to successful life changes.

Why Small Wins?

Instead of celebrating small victories, why not just wait for the big victories to sweep you to happiness?

Imagine that your phone rings and you answer it. And the person at the other end of the phone yells “Congratulations! You have just won 1 million dollars!” How would it feel to celebrate a big win like that? You’re doing a happy dance in your mind, aren’t you?

Surely, with that sum of money, you would not only feel motivated and engaged, but you’d also have everlasting happiness and fulfillment, right? According to research, people who win large sums of money are more satisfied with the quality of their lives overall. However, they don’t experience more day-to-day happiness than anyone else. So much for big wins.

In fact, the internet is already abuzz with articles that extol the virtues of celebrating the small stuff. But happiness is only one of the dozens of reasons you should celebrate routinely.

The reasons for celebrating small can be broken down into 4 main categories:

  • Energy
  • Personal/Professional Growth
  • Love
  • Happiness
1. Energy

When energy is low, it can be challenging to accomplish anything. Try as you might to set goals, without energy, it’s understandable why the couch would have so much more magnetic pull than the treadmill. When you celebrate your small victories, you will give yourself little hits of energy that will add up over time.

Try it right now for yourself. Think of something small you achieved today. Maybe you took out the garbage even though it was really cold outside, you’re extremely tired, and you didn’t want to.

Or maybe you’re celebrating choosing healthy smoothie over fizzy drinks or soda in the afternoon. How does it feel to congratulate yourself? What does your body experience when you point out the little win to yourself?

Over time, you’ll notice that the little celebrations inject you with boosts of energy that will accumulate. Although you probably will still hate taking out the trash, you’ll at least have the energy to do it.

Once you start experiencing more energy, you might notice feeling more motivated to accomplish all those items—large and small—on your “to do” list. This becomes a positive feedback loop. You accomplish something, celebrate, increase your energy to accomplish more, and repeat. In fact, there is evidence to suggest that celebrating the small victories leads you to accomplish even bigger ones.

The opposite is also true. When you don’t accomplish the little things, imagine how much more challenging it will be to chip away at the big ones. Now that we have looked at this from two angles, let’s celebrate your ability to shift your perspective on this topic so adeptly. Bravo!

2. Personal/Professional Growth

Acknowledging little wins helps you keep track of how far you’ve come. This is especially helpful when you’re trying to instill a new habit or make a lifestyle change.

Behavioral changes can be some of the biggest challenges we undertake. They can also be the most beneficial when you’re on the path to personal or professional growth and development. It can be easy to fall into the “all or nothing” trap.

For instance, a lot of people feel that if they can’t achieve a behavioral change—like quitting smoking—the first time they try, then they might as well give up.

Positive reinforcement through celebrating small wins helps you get back on track after taking a temporary detour. “I only had 3 cigarettes today” might be the small victory that would lead you to only having 2 tomorrow.

Growth in any area of life is a process. This process requires the use of tools. Celebrating the little things is an intentional tool you’ll want to use when you’re in the process of becoming the person you have been saying you want to be. And good for you for holding that vision for yourself!

3. Self-Love

They say that education is the most important investment you’ll ever make. Imagine if you are trying to get your degree but you self-criticize to the point of having major test anxiety. If you are not loving yourself, it doesn’t matter how much money you throw at your education. You’ll never finish the degree!

Therefore, self-love is the ultimate investment you will ever make. You are the only person you will know for the entirety of your life. When you love yourself unconditionally, you will be able to navigate any life obstacle or storm. Celebrating your little victories is just one of so many ways to take care of yourself.

What do people do when they get married? They celebrate! What do you do on birthdays to show someone you’re happy they were born? You celebrate! Why do we celebrate? Because celebrations demonstrate our love for others. Therefore, when you actively celebrate small victories, you affirm the love you have for yourself.

Celebrating your small victories is a powerful way to demonstrate that you notice how amazing you are. It helps you rely more on your own positive feedback rather than looking to the outside world to tell you what it thinks of you.

Here’s something that nobody ever said: “People-pleasing is the gateway to the Kingdom of Joy.” Stop waiting for other people to tell you how incredibly valuable you are and start acknowledging all your little successes!

As a side benefit, self-love has also been known to lead to better relationships with others. It turns out that when you love yourself, you will show others how you want to be treated.

“Isn’t this just bragging about myself?” you ask. No. It’s showing others that you notice the little things that are going well in your life, which means you’re also apt to notice the little things that are going well in the relationship or others’ lives. Seeing you celebrate your wins can be an invitation for others to celebrate their own wins, too. Pretty soon, you’re surrounded by people celebrating with you and you’re celebrating with others!

4. Happiness

Our quest for happiness is actually not the focus of our lives. Instead, it would be in our best interest to design our lives around finding meaning.

So, why is happiness mentioned in almost every single article about celebrating small wins, including this one? Because it’s what we want. As it turns out, the path to what we want is not a direct one.

Joy, and happiness, are not goals in themselves, but they are the by-product of those moments when we are doing what is really right for us.

Happiness is a by-product! When we are fully engaged in our lives, our confidence runs higher, our actions match our intentions, our love for ourselves grows, and we experience a life filled with meaning. So, if you want to experience happiness, you must find ways to incorporate meaning into your life. Celebrating your little victories can be a catalyst for finding this meaning.

Put another way, if you’re not ready to let go of the pursuit of happiness, try viewing happiness as something you practice. And if you want a proven way to engage with that practice, try celebrating all of your small wins.

Now that you have some reasons to celebrate small, let’s celebrate that you made it to the end of this article. Good for you! By reading this, you invested in yourself. Congratulations.

Now What?

Consider keeping a daily log of your little victories. At the end of the week, you can read everything you celebrated, which will help you experience the accumulation of all the little wins. And if you want to experience an even bigger win, re-read your celebration journal at the end of the year!

As an entrepreneur or startup owner, you will agree that a major concern you face is financing your business.

With minimal experience and no business background, entrepreneurs find it very hard to get the money at the initial level. Be it working capital or provision for the troubled times, you need money to run and grow your business.

Here are some ways you can raise funds to fund your business/ideas.

Generally, there are two known ways you can fund your business – Equity and Debt.

The equity option enable entrepreneurs to fund their business by providing an ownership stake to an investor. Here, there is no obligation of repayment. But then, you need to give up a part of your ownership in the business. And you can also make you lose control over the company in the long run.

The debt option is likened to taking a loan for a specific period. You have to pay interest on the amount. Here, the ownership of your company is not at stake. But, if for some reason, you fail to repay the loan, the lender can take your company into liquidation. In such a scenario, you lose your company. The debt option is worth only when you have a strong financial backup.

Let’s get into the different funds available.

Equity-based Funding

  • Self-funding

This is the safest way of funding for your startup. You can either use savings, personal debt, or both for your business. Also, you can consider selling assets like a second home or a property to generate cash for your company.

  • Friends and family

This is a source of both equity and debt funding. Though this seems a handy source of funding, you need to remain cautious while assigning part of your business among friends and family members. Many businesses fail because key parts of business go into the wrong hands. Also, when the capital erodes, it hurts feelings and ruins friendships.

  • Angel investors and Crowdfunding

Affluent investors can bring capital in the startups. They are known as angel investors as they are always willing to invest in ideas they find lucrative in the future. Angel investors can also form a group of investors to spread risks and assist you to do extensive research. Local angels and the Chamber of Commerce are also good sources for funding your business at the initial stage.

Crowdfunding is also a concept similar to angel investors. The only difference here is that there is a large number of people or investors who contribute to your startup idea as per their wish. Crowdfunding has certain norms and its success rate is lower than that of angel investment. Crowdfunding is based either on equity, debt, or rewards. You can select the most suitable platform from hundreds of crowdfunding platforms.

  • Partnership

This is one of the strongest sources of funding for your business. Strategic partners can not only bring investment but also give new thoughts to take the business to the next level. Partners can also help your business by managing key processes. Let’s take the example of a property management company. A strategic partnership with a property maintenance company can help this company to provide 360-degree solutions.

Debt-related Funding

  • Lenders

Many lenders and organizations lend money to small businesses and startups. They lend money either at higher interest rates or ask for assets as security. Here, the interest rate is a bit tricky. For example, if the interest rate is 3% and the term is one month, then the actual annual interest rate is 36%. This is quite high as compared to a 3% rate.

Lenders are of two types- Traditional and Government lenders.

Traditional lenders can be the first choice. Banks and credit unions are included in this type. This type of lenders, however, do not fund any innovative or experimental ideas.

Government lenders work with the government arms to get more funds with some risks.

  • 7a Loans

It is a type of loan that assists startups or businesses that have no collateral. Entrepreneurs with no personal or business assets are the most eligible candidates for this type of loan. However, a common man may not get this type of loan. What makes this loan attractive for entrepreneurs is the fact that the 7a loan has simple T&Cs. Entrepreneurs need to give a repayment guarantee of 85% to take this loan.

  • Banks

Both government and private banks lend SMEs and startups. But they need a track record and want to secure their loans by some of your assets. Banks are, however, not much friendly for SMEs and startups. Many entrepreneurs tend to stay away from banks at the initial stage because they have issues of both working capital and initial funding. In today’s time, banks have quickly become out of focus for entrepreneurs.

  • Venture Capitalists

They are basically the innovators of the business world. They’re constantly in search of entrepreneurs with lucrative ideas. If your idea is capable of working at a small level, you can easily convince a VC (Venture Capitalist) to support your business. VCs provide funds in two ways — equity or debt. Venture capitalists can lead your business to succeed at the international level.

Some venture capitalist companies invest in businesses by offering scholarships to entrepreneurs. Techpreneurs can leverage the benefits of these scholarships and become owners of small companies or startups at a young age. What’s more, your company can get money along with qualified business mentors through such venture capitalist companies. Simply put, VCs can assist you to launch your products while guiding your company at the initial level.

The SBA (Small Business Administration) is also a considerable debt option. It has many options but these options need a guarantee of repayment.

In Conclusion

Many options are available to fund your business at the initial level. If you have a unique idea that you think it is worth investing, you can certainly explore various options and find the ideal one for your startup. But first, be sure you have a solid business plan in place and you have done all to be sure your business is profitable and will scale.

 

According to the World Health Organization, more than 264 million people suffer from depression globally.

Symptoms of depression can include sadness, lethargy and a general loss of interest in life.

There are a number of ways to combat this and a diet for depression can help not only your mental health but your well-being as well. In fact, a 2017 study found that the symptoms of people with moderate-to-severe depression improved when they received nutritional counseling sessions and ate a more healthful diet for 12 weeks.

Just imagine having higher levels of optimism, energy, positivity, focus, and a greater interest in life. Well, you can.

Making some adjustments to your diet can help with your depression. Not only are there foods that you could eat to help with your depression but there are foods that you should avoid.

Foods That Help With Depression

1. Oily Fish

Oily fish such as salmon, sardines, herring, light tuna and mackerel are a healthy source of Vitamin D.[3] Research has shown that Vitamin D might play an important role in regulating mood and warding off depression.[4] Other health benefits include reducing fatigue and improving heart health.

If you run low on energy it can increase your chances of becoming irritable which could lead to a number of other negative behaviors. And this is not the emotional path that you want to go down, especially if you are struggling with depression.

We obtain most of our vitamin D from the sun but dietary sources are also important. Other sources include egg yolks, beef liver and fortified dairy products. When it comes to egg yolks, be sure to check the national label as there can be variances in the amount of Vitamin D.

2. Vegetables

It had to be said. Remember those days when you were told to eat your vegetables?

Well, turns out there was a very good reason. Eating vegetables can help if you struggle with depression.

 

Darker leafy greens contain folate[5] and people that have depression have been found to have a lower dietary intake of folate than those without depression.[6]

They also contain vitamins A, C, E, and K. Which will supply you with a number of healthy benefits such as maintaining brain function and strengthening your immune system.

Injecting some spinach, kale or arugula into your diet could help improve your mood. If you’re not a fan of any of these then you can use lettuce, broccoli or asparagus.

3. Walnuts

Omega-3 fatty acids are a great source of protein to keep a healthy balance of blood sugar levels.[7]

They are also called essential fats, because unlike some other substances, they can’t be manufactured within the human body, and therefore it is essential that you take them in through your diet.

Walnuts are bursting with Omega-3 and they are commonly known to support brain health and lower blood pressure.

In fact, one study conducted between 2005-2014 found that depression scores came in 26% lower among those that consumed about ¼ cup of walnuts per day.

As you can see, incorporating a source of Omega-3 like walnuts enhances a diet for depression.

4. Poultry

Chicken and Turkey are important for a number of reasons. Not only do they contain lean protein to maintain health but they also contain Tryptophan.

The body uses tryptophan to help make melatonin [10] and serotonin.[11] Melatonin helps regulate the sleep-wake cycle, and serotonin is thought to help regulate appetite, sleep, mood, and pain.

You may have even experienced a healthy boost of melatonin levels, in the form of a nap, after you have eaten a turkey dinner.

And while you don’t have to eat a turkey dinner everyday, incorporating chicken or turkey into your routine can give you a healthy balance of rest and energy.

In fact, just 3 ounces of roasted chicken breast offers 123% of the recommended daily intake of tryptophan.

Foods That Worsen Depression

When coping with depression, it’s important to be aware of foods that could have a negative impact on you. If you limit or, in some cases, eliminate these foods altogether you will increase your chances of feeling better.

5. Alcohol

It’s important to mention this because unfortunately a lot of people turn to alcohol when they are having a bad day. However, it is best to limit or eliminate alcohol altogether.

Alcohol is a depressant. When you drink too much, you’re more likely to make bad decisions or act on impulse.

This could lead you to make bad decisions that will further your depressive state.

Not too mention, the energy and effort that is put into drinking could be used to make healthy choices, like preparing a healthy meal.

To decrease your chances of drinking alcohol you could refrain from visiting the wine and spirits store, avoid the section in the grocery store that has alcohol, or put a halt to eating at places that serve alcoholic beverages.

It can be too easy to convince yourself that alcohol will fix everything, when in fact it could cause further damage.

 

6. Sugar

An excess of sugary foods can have long-term implications on your health. And while it’s not realistic to eliminate sugar entirely, you should pay close attention to the amount of sugar you consume.

The American Heart Association recommends adults eat no more than 25 (women) to 36 (men) grams of added sugar every day.[12]

Foods like cakes, cookies and pies are high in sugar and can alter your mood. It may make you feel good temporarily but it’s just that, temporary.

Cutting back on sugar will help you keep your blood sugar levels more balanced which will help your mood stay more evenly balanced.

Since sugar offers very little nutritional value, it actually has a drastic impact on the B vitamins.[13] In order for the body to convert sugar into energy, it uses up these important mood enhancing vitamins. In particular vitamin B-12 and B6.[14]

When the body runs low on these vitamins it leads to a lack of energy and poor brain function. This makes it easier to slip into a more depressive state.

7. Fast Food

Refined foods like fast food burgers and fries are loaded with ingredients that should be avoided in your diet for depression.[15]

A study confirmed that the consumption of hamburgers, sausages, and pizza as well as muffins, donuts, and croissants may have a detrimental effect on depression risk.[16]

This is because these foods are high in trans-fat and trans-isomer fatty acids. And these are fatty acids that are non-essential to the human diet.

There is very little national value in these types of foods. You would be better served if you were to replace those foods with fresh fruits and vegetables.

 

 

Source: Lifehack

It’s not everyday you come across a qualified accountant who’s now a creative and independent artist – this is the story of Onyi Moss. Born and raised in Nigeria, Onyi grew up surrounded by inspiration from the likes of Onyeka Onwenu and Tracy Chapman whom her parents would have playing on the radio and television over and over again.

Speaking to Onyi it would appear she always had a passion for the arts as she reminisced about her mum’s rose gardens and tie and dye projects which she got to experience as a kid. But the practicality of succeeding socially and financially back then in the creative industry seemed quite farfetched to her hence her decision to pursue a career in accounting.

Having gained a BSc in the subject matter, she successfully took on a role in one of Nigeria’s top leading banks after completing her NYSC. Two years in her banking career, she chose to seek out more for herself unbeknownst to her what the future had in store.

At the age of twenty-two Onyi caught a flight from Abuja International airport to the UK to begin her studies to qualify as an ACCA chartered accountant. Something she was able to achieve within a couple of years. However, things didn’t go as smoothly as she anticipated as she struggled to get a job in finance which saw her unemployed for over a year. It was in that time that she decided to expand her horizon and reconsider her love for the arts.

Stuck at home with very little to do, Onyi began drawing inspiration from other women on her television screen just as she did as a kid. Only this time, these women were self taught photographers who told beautiful visual stories. Rather than pay her rent that month, she took what I can only describe as a bold step to purchase a camera to begin teaching herself photography. She had seen her dad document their family life as a kid using his film camera. Something he was eventually forced to give up when it got stolen.

That was the extent of her experience with photography. But as I got to know Onyi while chatting to her, I realised she’s not one to shy away from what one might class as a scary decision. She took on the role quite literally and began taking self portraits. She learnt about photography and editing by watching YouTube tutorials and made sure to put her new skills to practice. And even when she eventually got a job in finance in a bank, she still carried on with her photography. Sometimes staying up until the early hours of the morning, editing images she had captured after a long day at the office.

Her hard work and dedication didn’t go unnoticed as big name brands began discovering her work on social media and offered to pay her to shoot editorial campaigns for them. Eventually she left her role at the bank even after doing very well there. She managed to gain three promotions in her first eighteen months. But she knew if she didn’t take a chance on herself to see where her new creative passion led, it wouldn’t sit well with her, especially giving the opportunities that had come her way. It turned out it was another great resolve as she puts it.

Onyi went on to win multiple awards for her work and even became a brand ambassador for a top leading UK jewellery brand. She felt the need to not just focus on still images but also delve into film by telling visually pleasing stories. You can truly see the passion in her work. Some of her short films have gathered hundreds of thousands of views on social media. In creating film, she rediscovered her love for writing music as she knows that music plays a key role in storytelling. This is what led her to begin working on her EP.

Her debut single ‘In Your Eyes’ was released a few weeks ago and is currently being played in radio stations across the UK including the BBC. When I asked her what the song was about she described it as “the glimmer of hope that can sometimes be found in loss”. Onyi is very much a dreamer and a romantic at heart. Something that is visible through her work. The meaning of the song does hold true to her. Her music has been very much inspired by the likes of Tracy Chapman and Asa. ‘In Your Eyes’ has an acoustic introspective foundation with elements of folk blues.

Onyi is unsigned and intends to remain that way. She’s the sort of creative who wants to stay true to her soul in her own words. She doesn’t want to get wrapped up in other people’s dreams but instead share hers with the world. She believes not many women have been able to succeed independently in this industry on their own terms and if she can be one of the few examples of women who manage to do so, then hopefully it paves the way for others to take charge of their creative career how they deem fit.

When asked if she had any final words for our readers, she said and I quote “it is important to tell your story because if you don’t, others might do it for you and you might not like the character they make you out to be.”

Source: Guardian

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeal to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic.

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

2. Listen.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

3. Become an Expert.

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

4. Lead with stories.

If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail.

5. Be Effusive with Praise

Celebrate the unique abilities and skills of people. Be quick to celebrate people’s accomplishments, no matter how little.
Lavish praise on people when they do something right. Don’t always be that person who points out the faults in people.

6. Be Kind Rather Than Right

For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

Prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position.

7. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced.

8. Understand Your Work.

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

Siblings bickering and arguing can be frustrating and mentally exhausting for parents. Although disagreements between siblings may drive parents crazy, it teaches our kids how to deal with and resolve conflict at an early age. This will, in turn, help them handle conflicts in relationships outside of their immediate family as they become adults. Nevertheless, when it seems like your children can’t get along even for a minute, then you can try these tips:

Look after each child’s needs

Children feel valued if you make it clear that it’s not okay for younger children to mess up older children’s activities, and vice versa. Also, take time out to bond individually with each child, and, most importantly, try not to compare children with each other.

Praise their good behaviour

Notice and give positive feedback to your kids when they’re well behaved. When you tell children clearly and specifically what they’re doing well, you’re likely to see more of that behaviour.

Show children how to get along

You are your children’s number one role model. Your children will notice if you iron out differences without fighting. If you would like your children to figure things out calmly and respectfully, they have to see you doing this. If you would like them to be ready to apologize to others, they have to see you apologising too.

Coach your children

You are your children’s problem-solving coach. You should teach them the way to handle disagreements and guide them toward skills for managing angry feelings, negotiating, and playing fair. This is much better than having to step in when they’re brewing or even worse, being a referee who breaks up fights.

You can also try these tips whenever they start fighting:

Hold hands

Whenever you notice your kids fighting, call them to sit together and hold hands till they solve their issues. Before you know it, they’ll laugh and forget that they were fighting.

T-shirt co-operation

The idea is that you simply have an extra-large men’s t-shirt that the kids must wear together until they stop bickering. Older kids can even be made to do chores while crammed within the t-shirt together. While the shirt is on, speak to them about how things work better once they agree to work together (trust me, if they need to try to do anything while wearing one shirt, they have no choice but to work together.)

Job bottle

Think of about a dozen chores. Write them on small strips of paper. Laminate them or cover with tape so that it can’t get mangled. Explain to your kids that each time a fight breaks out they all have to pick a job out from the job bottle. They don’t get to choose, they only grab one. When the squabbling starts, just calmly say, “job bottle.”

Hug it out

One time, I made my kids hug and told them they had to continue to hug each other until they stopped being mad at one another. I found them laughing at their situation because they were physically locked together. After that, ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ would follow.

Give them a problem to solve together

You can try giving your kids a puzzle to solve together to stop them from arguing. When they finish that, give them a harder one. Solving puzzles together encourages them to get along, rely on each other, and help one another.

Finally, it may help to remember that a certain amount of bickering and fighting is normal and even healthy in your children’s relationships with each other. Try some of these ideas and see if one works for you.

Remember, consistency is key. When you find a solution that works for your kids, continue with it. I’m confident that you’ll see a marked improvement in how your children get along.

Do you have any tips to ensure your kids get along? Feel free to share.

Teaching is the one profession that creates other professions. It is the fuel that drives education and make our wonderful Teachers  heroes.
Ericka is one of such heroes, especially at a time like this when the school system have been greatly affected by the pandemic.
She is passionate about her chosen profession, and determined to see her students succeed in Life.
Meet Ericka
Ericka Taylor began her teaching career in 2011. During that time, she came across one 2nd grade student who was struggling with reading. To meet this need, and that of many others, Ericka opened E. Denise Tutoring Services in March 2018. Since then, E. Denise Tutoring Services has grown to include many students, ranging in both grade level and scholastic ability.
Inside the classroom, Ericka’s motto is “Be fair, Be firm and Be fun.” When she tutors her motto is, “Take a breath, the student is learning not reviewing.” This is important because oftentimes scholars are expected to quickly retain information, when in fact, scholars need time to develop their learning and understanding.
Ericka created this company to meet students where they are academically. If a student is in 4th grade but is reading at a 1st grade level, that’s ok because with the correct instruction, the academic gap can be CLOSED. Ericka is certified to teach in the states of Ohio and Pennsylvania, and is reading endorsed to teach grades Pre-K-4 by the state of Ohio. Being reading endorsed is a fancy way of saying she is state certified to teach children how to read. While she is reading endorsed, Ericka loves to teach math concepts to children in grades K-8.
Although E.Denise Tutoring Services was begun to assist struggling readers, all students can benefit from tutoring, struggling or not. Tutoring helps to bridge the learning gap for all students at all learning levels. Ericka’s ultimate goal in life is to show students that reading is more than a chore; that reading will give them more opportunities and take them more places than they could ever imagine.
Due to the ongoing pandemic, all sessions are held virtually via the Zoom platform. Ericka prefers for her tutoring clients to call her Ms. Ericka.
You can follow her on her social media accounts below
Ig- @edenisetutoringservices
Fb- E.Denise LLC

Feeling energized, refreshed, and clear-headed are just three positive effects of having a good night’s sleep but if you don’t eat the right foods, you might not have that.

Studies have shown that our health can be negatively impacted, from the increased risk of lowered mood. This is why you need to learn what to eat to enhance good sleep. Certain foods and beverages could help you fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly.

1. Almonds

Almonds contain high doses of melatonin [Business Insider USA]Almonds contain high doses of melatonin [Business Insider USA]

Almonds contain high doses of melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate the sleeping and waking cycle. Almonds are also an excellent source of magnesium, providing 19% of your daily needs in only 1 ounce. Consuming adequate amounts of magnesium may help improve sleep quality, especially for those who have insomnia

2. Kiwi

Kiwi is addressed as the ultimate pre-bed snack [Business Insider USA]Kiwi is addressed as the ultimate pre-bed snack [Business Insider USA]

This green fruit is addressed as the ultimate pre-bed snack. The fruit contains many sleep-promoting compounds like vitamins C and E, serotonin and folate, all of which will help you snooze. Eating two kiwis before bed can increase your sleep duration by an hour.

Fish contains vitamins that induces sleep hormones [Business Insider USA]3. Fish

Fish contains vitamins that induces sleep hormones [Business Insider USA]

Most fish-and especially salmon, and tuna boost vitamin B6, which is needed to make melatonin (a sleep-inducing hormone triggered by darkness). Additionally, fatty fish are high in healthy omega-3 fatty acids, specifically EPA and DHA, both of which are known for reducing inflammation. The combination of omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin D in fatty fish have the potential to enhance sleep quality, as both have been shown to increase the production of serotonin, a sleep-promoting brain chemical.

4. Bananas

Banana contain compounds that induces sleep [home]Banana contain compounds that induces sleep [home]

Bananas, well-known for being rich in potassium, are also a good source of Vitamin B6, which is needed to make melatonin (a sleep-inducing hormone).

5. Warm milk

Warm milk is a common home remedy for lack of sleep [Shutterstock]Warm milk is a common home remedy for lack of sleep [Shutterstock]

Shutterstock

Warm milk is a common home remedy for lack of sleep. Milk contains four sleep-promoting compounds: tryptophan, calcium, vitamin D, and melatonin. However, the childhood association that many people have between a warm cup of milk and bedtime may be more effective than tryptophan or melatonin in promoting sleep. Just like hot tea, a warm drink of milk can provide the perfect soothing backdrop for a relaxing bedtime routine.

 

Source: Pulse

For co-parents, the issue of money is often a difficult one to discuss. However, what’s even more difficult is when one parent completely neglects the financial needs of their child leaving the burden on the other parent.

Typically this leads to court and child support orders. The court decides how expenses should be split and how much the non-custodial parent should pay each month to help support their child.

But as many of us have found out, just because you have a child support order doesn’t mean the other parent will pay.

Unpaid child support isn’t something only men do, but it is far more common for men as mothers typically receive primary custody after a divorce or breakup.

Based on a survey in 2011, only 61% of men paid their child support. But the study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family explains that fathers who lack money to make payments try to support their children in other manners.

This may be true for some… But for many others, they shamelessly refuse to pay child support or even play any active role in their child’s life.

In that case, you have to find the proper way to approach them and make sure that they fulfill their responsibilities. As wrong as it is that you have to tell another adult to take care of their responsibilities that’s what the situation has boiled down to.

If you, unfortunately, have this problem with your ex, here are the steps you can take to get them to financially support their child.

1. Try talking to your ex.

This is not an easy thing to do. Especially when your ex is refusing to help you support your child.

This is even more complicated if there was emotional or physical abuse in the relationship.

With these things in mind, having a conversation with your ex about their responsibilities will be without a doubt emotionally strenuous, but it’s the first step you should take.

Let’s face it, court proceedings and lawyers cost money, so trying to talk it out before taking serious legal action is the cheapest route for the both of you.

If you feel uncomfortable talking to your ex for any reason, go with a friend or a family member to give you support. Listen to them and try not to create a hostile environment with accusations and finger pointing before you hear the reasons they aren’t respecting their duties.

They may have lost their job or are facing other financial difficulties.

This doesn’t give them a free pass, but it’s more understandable than “I’m just not going to help financially support our child.”

Having a conversation with them may help you find an agreeable solution for both of you, like paying you in installments or when he becomes financially able to. Whatever the case may be, you will know what your next step is after having a conversation.

2. Have a backup plan to cover the missing child support.

A back up plan  is always a good thing to have in place for anything.

However, when it comes to unpaid child support, it may not be that easy for some.

In most cases, you will have to find an additional job or cut your expenses.

As unfair as this is this is the circumstance for millions of women.

The best way to approach this is by thinking about this possible issue beforehand.

During the divorce or breakup, you should see what are your other options to finance your life if your ex doesn’t pay child support. Also, talk to them even then and try to find some sort of compromise to make it easier.

3. Consult a lawyer about possible options.

Legal consulting isn’t something you should neglect in these situations. Whatever you decide in the end – going to court or not – you should always know your legal rights.

Additionally, going to court will cost you, and you have to know what to expect financially if you choose this option.

Consulting an attorney will give you an idea of what to do next.

If your ex is unemployed or is employed illegally, then you have to know would taking him to court be a good idea for both of you. It all comes down to their willingness to cooperate and make an arrangement with you.

But if they’re uninterested, then, unfortunately, the court may be your only option no matter how hard it seems.

4. Contact your local child support agency.

Government agencies for child support are present in every state and even country. Their job is to collect the money for you if you don’t have the means to finance the case.

Fortunately, they typically do this service for free and apply techniques that may not be available to independent attorneys.

The only problem you may encounter is that they are usually busy and swamped with cases.

So, it may take them a long time to finally address your case, and that means you’ll have to find ways to survive until then.

Before going to them, try to come to an agreement with your ex-partner and see what other options for financial aid you have.

Court proceeding and decision

If you do go to court, know that the decision can affect your ex in several ways.

The payments may be enforced with a court order, they can be held in contempt of court and even serve jail time. You will also need a family law attorney for this in order to plead your case before the judge.

When the proceedings start, you will have to present the evidence to the court of unpaid child support. This means you should collect all the evidence you have to prove your ex is guilty.

The judge can order your ex to pay for your court and attorney expenses, as well.

After this, your ex may start making the payments regularly and come to their senses.

Conclusion

Child support is the responsibility of both parents.

A child shouldn’t go without because one or the other parent neglects them emotionally or financially.

Financial support is one of the things your ex should do without even being asked, along with regular visitation and care for the wellbeing of their children.

You have options and possibilities to resolve this problem with minimum emotional impact on your children and you.

Still, if those don’t work, consider taking serious legal actions and remedies to avoid getting yourself into a hard financial situation.

Source: Blackloveadvice