self development - Women of Rubies

In lifestyle January 5, 2023 By Women of Rubies

5 Reasons Why Female Friendships Are Important For Women’s Well-Being

A close-knit group of trusted friends is important for everyone’s well-being, but women in particular can benefit from their female friendships.

Here’s five benefits of female friendships, and why it’s so important to maintain and nurture them

Most of us have been dumped, experienced pain or loss, or faced conflict in our lives. As humans, we tend to go through highs and lows and these experiences can be a little easier when we have girlfriends to support us.

The truth is – having female friends is incredibly important for your mental health.

1. Female friends can understand you in ways that men may not

Although we are biologically alike, there are differences in the way different sexes can engage and react with situations. Without generalising too much, women tend to have nurturing, mothering qualities which can be empathetic and understanding when you need it the most.

So, when you vent about work or your in-laws, another woman can be more empathetic, validate your reasoning and draw on their own personal experiences to relate back to you.

A pattern I’ve seen in certain people who enter relationships is the isolation process that takes place after. They start spending all of their time with their significant other, coming to them for every type of support and slowly start fading away from their platonic relationships.

Your girlfriends understand you in a way that your man doesn’t.

Having an intimate connection with your significant other is great and expected in any healthy relationship. However, when it comes to vulnerability, it is never fair to confide in only one person.

When you are only confiding in one person for every single thing, you are inadvertently putting a heavy amount of pressure on that person. What you’re essentially doing is turning that person into an “emotional dumpster” so to speak.

And to put it simply, there are going to be times where your guy just can’t relate.

There are going to be times where your man is not going to be able to give you the comfort or support you need, and he really should not need to.

Your girlfriends understand you in a way that your man doesn’t.

The saying goes that “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” and there’s a lot of psychological truth to that. Even though men and women may complement each other, such friendships with our girlfriends are an outlet to “share problems, thoughts, feelings, and triumphs”.

By nature, women are more intuitive as well. Those things that come up that your guy thinks you are “overthinking” or being “crazy” about, your girls will be there to acknowledge your feelings and back with reasoning.

Confiding with your girlfriends gives you an entirely different level of emotional support.

2. Female friends can offer you a fresh perspective

Although women have the love and support of our partners, a female friend can offer you a different perspective in times of need.

For relationships, a female friend can act as an outsider looking in, giving honest advice that we may not always want to hear, but provides a different perspective that can positively influence our decisions.

Female friends can also be great for your self-esteem. A good female friend won’t fat-shame you or let you fat-shame yourself, they will tell you why you deserve that promotion or why your partner should treat you better.

After walking away from a conversation with a good female friend you should feel confident and supported.

3. Female friends can be a voice of honesty

Even if the honesty can come across as brutal, at least you know that you’re getting the absolute truth.

Female friends can be your sounding board, someone who will listen to your ideas, thoughts and opinions and then tell you what they honestly think. Recent research suggests that our female friends know us better than our partners. They therefore know when you need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or a night out dancing and drinking cocktails!

4. Female friends get better with age

Good quality girlfriends are like fine red wines: they get better with age. Recent research actually tells us that the average female friendship lasts 16 years, which is 6 years longer than the average romantic relationship. Once we turn 55, our friendships on average last 23 years! Female friends can challenge us to try new things, act as mentors in our career and push us to excel in all areas of life.

5. Female friendships can help us deal with stress.

Women and men biologically have differing responses to stress. Women who are stressed respond with a reaction called ‘tend and befriend’, which means they tend to nurture those around them and reach out to others, often other women.

Research has even shown that women have higher survival rates from breast cancer when they have strong friendships than those in social isolation.

So…

Contrary to popular opinions on how women are their worst enemies, a lot of women have agreed and acknowledged the positive impact and pleasant vibes female friendships has offered to them. And from this article, it is clear how much benefits female friendships have to offer.

Get past the notion of women not being able to befriend each other, get past that idea of women being there wist enemies and open your eyes to a new horizon. See that women are not just capable of bonding and being friends, women are truly meant to be friends with each other.

In Career Gems January 5, 2023 By Women of Rubies

6 Important Things Successful Women Should Always Invest In

All successful women seem to share a particular innate quality. They all carry themselves with a kind of confidence that matches with their level of success.

They all know there is a need to invest in certain not-so-secret things and they also show that acquiring and attaining these characteristics won’t buy you success. But it will give you the confidence to be the woman you dream to be and show you that it’s not someone you need to transform into, but someone you’ve been all along.

So here is how you can become the best version of yourself as a woman by investing in these 6 things.

1. Education

Sheryl Sandberg has openly admitted that one piece of advice she would tell her twenty-year-old self would be to create an 18-month learning plan.

Alongside your goals, you need to plan out exactly what you want to learn over that period and improve on the things that scare you the most. Because the successful woman knows that in order to succeed she needs to commit herself to education.

More importantly, she knows that it doesn’t finish when University does – the process of learning does not stop there. It’s up to you to further your education and build your knowledge. It’s a choice and it’s a choice you should make for yourself every day.

Your day should consist of at least one hour of personal development. And this can be as easy as signing up to coursera and learning a new skill in an hour.

2. The tools you need to get things done – such as a personal computer, a tablet, a journal.

Oprah famously keeps many journals to get her through, she keeps a health and wellness journal to track her growth so she can look back on it and reflect.

But it’s not only her, no successful career woman can get through any day without her planner. It’s her right-hand man and it goes wherever she does.

A journal helps you keep tab of things and a planner helps you note down things you need to do at particular times. And no, it’s not just about keeping up with a to-do list. You need one for every area, finance, fitness, business plans.

3. Your wellbeing

Gwyneth Paltrow is a huge wellness advocate and has even built a brand around it – and there’s no wonder she looks so good. But it’s not only her on that’s on a wellness mission, Arianna Huffington also boasts that yoga is the best thing she can do to achieve and maintain balance in her life.

Because if you look after your body, in turn, it will look after you. It’s your wellbeing that will help you become successful, it goes hand in hand! Without it, you’ll struggle, but with it, you’ll be bigger and better.

This concerns your health, what you eat and put into your body (make sure to only eat for energy) and how you switch off at the end of the day.

4. Mindfulness

If you want to become successful you have to start taking mindfulness seriously.

Take a leaf from Victoria Beckham who uses crystals to keep her grounded, or Gwyneth Paltrow who is very holistic. It’s about clarity and keeping your mind clear.

By doing this you’ll be ensuring that you’re well looked after and calm of mind, which will help you not only to perform better at work but be more present daily.

5. Your self-development

Growth should be one of your top goals always. And it’s something you need to always remind yourself to do.

What makes you different from six months ago? If you reply with nothing then it means you’re not progressing.
Finding the time can be difficult, but that’s where you need to make the time because it will only help you in your career.

Read and buy books you usually wouldn’t, expand your horizons, attend those classes you never get around to – just do it.

Make a list of the areas of your life you want to progress in and then come up with a plan that will help make this happen.

6. Proper Organization

I could talk about organization for days. It’s something that excites me and helps me operate at my best. I cannot think clearly if it is not tidy around me, which means it’s essential that not only my work life is organized by my home life too.

Emma Watson, for example, said she swears by multiple notebooks to get things done. “I keep a dream diary, I keep a yoga diary, I keep diaries on people that I’ve met and things that they’ve said to me, advice that they’ve given me,” she revealed.

Keeping multiple notebooks is no bad thing, it’ll allow you to organize your thoughts and keep everything in the right place. Invest in stationery that’s designed to help your life run smoother.

In lifestyle January 5, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Olamide Ayeni: 5 Tips On How To Deal With A Depressed Partner

Living with a depressed partner who is often unhappy, critical and negative isn’t easy, and it may also be hard to persuade the individual to get help. Depression can put a strain between you and your partner if it’s not handled properly.

Tips on how to cope with a depressed partner [Atinka Online]

Depression varies tremendously in severity, but it has many behavioral impacts that can profoundly affect all significant relationships. Many factors can contribute to one’s depression, most especially when he is in a low place in his life.

Depression results from shifts in brain chemistry that influence mood, thoughts, sex drive, sleep, appetite, and energy levels. All factors that could affect a marriage, as well as disrupt home and family life.

So what do you do when your partner or husband won’t talk to you but grumble, complain and mope around the house? Here’s how to deal with a depressed partner.

1. Find the root of the problem

You have to know what the problem is to solve it [How Africa]

This is the first step to solving the problem. You have to know what the problem is to solve it. Is it the person’s job? Earnings? Or even you and the family? A problem shared is a problem solved. And in a case where he doesn’t talk, do some digging, but not snooping and getting into the partner’s business. Just gather enough information that would help in solving the problem.

2. Identify what you each can handle and stick to it

Supporting a significant other through a hard time is always going to be stressful. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it, but it can be a danger to your well-being. You can’t help your partner if you’re too overwhelmed to function. When you’re helping your partner, be sure to give yourself some clear boundaries on what you can and cannot offer them. Getting a therapist for your partner is advised.

3. Seek help together

Support goes a long way in helping your spouse. Seek help together, whether it is a counselor you see or a professional therapist, a spiritual counselor or help from family members. You need to be by your partner’s side so the individual doesn’t go through the journey alone.

4. Demonstrate your love

Telling and showing your partner that you love them helps them [Pulse Nigeria]

Depression can make a person feel like a burden and unworthy of love and support. Proactively counteract those thoughts by telling and showing your partner that you love them. Let them know that you understand that depression is affecting their thoughts, feelings, and behavior and that you (still) love them. Reassure them that you are here to support them in their journey to get better.

5. Do family activities together

You can take him and the kids out, do something fun as you used to you when dating. Getting him distracted will help the recuperation process. He needs to feel needed and useful again, to know that there are people counting on him. You are the one who can best help your husband because you know him best.

In Career Gems January 2, 2023 By Women of Rubies

How To Leave a Toxic Relationship

Learning how to leave a toxic relationship is never as easy as saying, “Hit the road, Jack!” – especially not when you are in love with your partner.

If you’ve been in a toxic relationship, you know exactly how emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting they can be. But if a toxic relationship is so taxing, why is it so hard to leave?

In this article, you will find out why it’s difficult to leave a toxic relationship and how to leave a toxic relationship for good.

How to Know if You’re in a Toxic Relationship

Sometimes it’s hard to know whether you are in a toxic relationship or not. It is often because of the manipulation involved in partner -toxicity.

Another reason why it may be difficult to admit that you’re in a toxic relationship is that there isn’t any outward abuse. Your partner may not hit you or cross any obvious sexual boundaries,^[1] but that doesn’t mean you’re in a healthy relationship.

Making a pro/con list can be a helpful first step when learning how to leave a toxic relationship.

Pros might be that your spouse makes you laugh, you enjoy the same hobbies, and you love them.

But, what are the cons of being in your current circumstances?

When you make out this list, it’s important, to be honest with yourself. Does your partner do any of the following?

Doesn’t give you privacy
Cut you off from friends/family/finances
Prevents you from attending school or work
Is controlling and jealous
Makes all the decisions in your relationship
Pressures you into things you aren’t comfortable with
Makes “jokes” or criticizes you
Is unfaithful
Talks down to you
Destroys property
Sends threatening text messages
Invades your privacy (checks your phone/social media/follows you)
Threatens to do something horrible if you leave the relationship
Gaslights/acts like the things they are doing are not a big deal

If these toxic behaviors remind you of your spouse, this may be the wake-up call you need to take action and get out of your dangerous relationship.

Why Do People Remain in Toxic Relationships?

One of the main culprits is oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone in your body that releases during moments of intimacy. This could include making love, holding hands, kissing, or even cuddling with someone.

When oxytocin is released, it causes you to be more trusting of your partner, even when trust is not warranted. This sneaky little hormone is also guilty of promoting bonding, which can make it feel impossible to leave your spouse, even when you know they aren’t good for you.

In addition to the effect of oxytocin, here’re 5 more things that make leaving a toxic relationship difficult:

1. Abuse Weakens You Emotionally

Emotional abuse can be devastating to everyone, leaving the individual weak without self-esteem, making starting afresh a difficult decision to make.

2. It Can Be Life-Threatening

Leaving a toxic relationship can be dangerous, leading to all sorts of consequences, even death. Research shows that a toxic partner kills a larger percentage of women in weeks after leaving a toxic relationship than when they remain in the relationship.

3. The “It Will Stop Mindset’

Society has ingrained in us a “don’t give up on anything” mindset in which people follow even when they recognize it might result in something catastrophic. That mindset is also followed by having the thought that the abuse will stop eventually.

4. Social Pressure

There is always that social pressure from friends, family members, etc., to want a relationship – this pressure only makes the situation worse.

5. Social Reaction

People often don’t want to admit to anyone that they are going through a hard time, which cuts across relationships. People in toxic relationships don’t want to admit the kind of abuse they are going through because of fear or shame of being blamed or judged.

The Effects of Emotional Abuse in a Toxic Relationship

1. Fear

This is a constant concern or awareness of danger. You start to have trust issues with anyone you find yourself with that building a relationship becomes issue overtime.

2. Shame

You don’t feel free to interact with anyone who knows what you have gone through like Friends, family members, etc., which often can result in loneliness.

3. Confusion

Your mind consistently wonders, and you seem to lose concentration and cant focus on a particular task.

4. Drugs or drinking

Abuse often results in excessive use of drugs and drinking. Thought that it could take away the pain is a delusion.

5. Suicide

When the pain and trauma get too much, it can often result in the party taking their lives.

6. Sleep trouble

You don’t get to enjoy sleep as you are supposed to. Thoughts and anxiety become the order of every moment.

How to Leave a Toxic Relationship

1. Know That You Deserve Better

Months or years of being told that you’ll never find anyone better than your spouse can wear on you, and you may even start to believe it. But this isn’t true.

Tearing down self-esteem and self-worth is what abusers do to keep their victims trapped in the relationship.

Let “I deserve better!” become your daily mantra. Remind yourself of your worth every day.

You’ve tried your hardest to make your relationship work, but sometimes love is not enough, and you need to move on for your own mental and physical wellbeing.

2. Build a Support System

The emotions you go through for a toxic breakup are much the same as going through a breakup of a healthy relationship. You will feel conflicted, lovesick, relieved, depressed, and more.

Leaving a toxic relationship is especially difficult if you have been financially reliant on your ex – but don’t despair!

Instead of focusing on why this will be hard, focus on building a support system you’ll need when you take the plunge. Research shows that friend and family support during trying times lowers psychological distress.

Having a support system around will make it easier for you to move on.

3. Be Firm About Your Decision

Breakups are hard, no matter what the circumstance is. You’re leaving a life that you’ve grown accustomed to, and even if you know the relationship is no longer safe, it still sucks, leaving the life you’ve built for yourself.

There may be times when you are tempted to get back with your partner, but stand firm! You deserve a partner who loves and respects you.

Do not give your ex any false hope of getting back together. Be firm in your decision to leave the relationship and don’t budge.

4. Cut Off Contact

One of the biggest times for how to leave a toxic relationship would be to cut off all contact with your ex once you’ve broken up.

Keeping in contact with your ex opens the door for you to get back together. Plus, seeing your ex across social media will make the memory of the relationship feel fresh in your mind. Here’s what to do when you experience that.

Instead of dwelling in the past, focus on the future, keep yourself motivated. Delete your ex from social media, block them on your phone, and find ways to avoid seeing them in person. These actions will make it clear that you want nothing to do with them.

5. It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken

If you’re at the point of breaking up, you’ve likely tried all of the tricks to get your spouse to change their toxic ways.

Maybe you went to therapy, took a relationship class, or made date nights a priority – but nothing worked.

Your partner is not going to change, and it’s important to remind yourself of this often.

You did everything you could to help them and reason with them, and it didn’t work. Do not expect miracles after a breakup.

Even if an abusive ex changes their ways, it is likely only due to the shock of the breakup. If you got back together, their likelihood of returning to their toxic behaviors is incredibly high.

Learning how to leave a toxic relationship is one thing, but following through with it is an entirely different story. If you are having trouble leaving an abusive or toxic partner, reach out to a trusted friend, family, or call/text/chat with an abusive relationship support line like Day One.

Source: Lifehack

In Career Gems December 19, 2022 By Esther Ijewere

How Jasmine Womack Helped Over 1000 Authors Become Six-Figure Storytellers

Jasmine Womack worked in education as a literature teacher for over 10 years but she didn’t want to be a teacher forever. Jasmine’s goal was to one day leave the classroom and become an academic coach, and eventually, an assistant principal.

But when she wrote and released a book at the top of her 11th year of teaching, things started to shift for her. She realized that she had created a product and if she could learn how to effectively brand herself, market, and sell it, she had the power to create the income she wanted to make.

Virtual Workshops

To fill her knowledge gap she turned to free virtual workshops. “I found them so valuable that I wanted to create my own,” she says. “I turned my book into a 21-day workshop that was called the Get Your HOUSE In Order Challenge and 400 people registered in about two weeks. I was floored.”

The challenge was a huge success. A few months later, people started asking her to host it again. She did. But this time, she charged a $10 fee for it. 30 people registered. She made $300 from something she’d already created and didn’t have to leave her house.

Jasmine realized she was on to something. However, she wasn’t ready to walk away from teaching— she enjoyed her career. That is until she experienced workplace harassment from her evaluating supervisor a year later.

Jasmine says she knew at that time that she had some serious decisions to make, but one thing that comforted her was that she had something to fall back on. In her side hustle, which eventually evolved to executive coaching and writing consultancy, she had perfected a system. She knew how to get clients, ensure results, and obtain quarterly cycles, and she had the work ethic to maintain it all. A year in, she was already making close to five figures per month on top of her teaching salary.

“That year ended up being my last year [in teaching] and it was one of the toughest decisions I made. I didn’t want to leave the way I was leaving – upset, angry, slightly bitter, and feeling like I was done wrong. But two months after the school year ended, I finally crossed the five-figure per month milestone and it was no looking back.”

How Jasmine Womack Transitioned

While Jasmine already had a working system, an entrepreneur’s mindset, and a strong work ethic before stepping into it full-time, the transition period wasn’t flawless. She still had to learn how to set a daily schedule, stay on schedule, and eliminate distractions.

“The biggest lesson came when I felt like I could do things when and how I wanted and as a result, I found myself struggling to balance [my] kids, who were at home during summer break, and staying up all night to work because I wasted the morning. It was this that helped me understand that the same systems and schedules in my career were established for a reason – and that if I wanted to continue to have success, I needed to establish these same daily routines and schedules in my business.”

Jamine’s Resillience

With that realization, Jasmine committed to doing what she needed to keep moving forward.

When I ask her to share some tips for setting goals, a schedule, and staying on task for first-time entrepreneurs she says, “Plan backwards. Determine the goals you want to reach by the end of the year. To accomplish the annual goal, understand the metrics you need to meet quarterly, then monthly (so you can reach the quarterly goals), then weekly (so you can hit the monthly goals), and then daily (to help you reach your weekly goal). Now, you know what you need to do each day, week, month, and quarter so that you can reach your goal by the end of the year.”

She also recommends time blocking your calendar. She suggests putting everything in your life and business on your calendar to ensure you are making time for it. Jasmine Womack includes vacations, content planning, and time off in hers.

Challenges & Success

“Success is filled with mountains and valleys,” Jasmine says when the conversation shifts.

While on the outside it may seem like her entrepreneurial journey didn’t have any major hiccups, she assures me that she had her fair share of challenges although she makes it a point not to complain.

One of the biggest challenges she says she had to overcome was herself. “Imposter Syndrome,” she says. “Online is a smokescreen and if you are not careful, you will find yourself looking at other people’s curated content and at times feeling like you don’t measure up. I’ve felt like this before, and even felt as if I wasn’t ‘doing enough’ but I had to quickly self-check. I committed to focusing on my stuff more than anyone else’s. I don’t look at other people, especially others in my industry.”

Work-Life Balance

Making time for her family and her health also got tricky while scaling a quickly growing business. “There was a point in time where my kids complained about how much I was on my phone and my husband felt like I compromised our marriage for the sake of building a business. And then there was my health, I gained over 40 lbs, primarily from dealing with the stress. I fixed this by having set starting and stop working times, communicating with my family if I had to work outside of those designated work periods, and outsourcing home responsibilities (cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping).”

When it comes to more nitty-gritty business challenges like learning about messaging, standing out above others in her industry, and pricing her products and services, she says those challenges don’t disappear on their own. As a coach herself, she believes in coaching and has hired coaches to help her with her messaging, and mindset around pricing in particular when she gets stuck.

Final Words

Jasmine’s final words for others looking to follow in her footsteps are: “Set your goal, pray about it, and go after it with all your heart. Don’t take your eye off the goal.”

Jasmine provides full step-by-step strategies and systems to her clients so they can duplicate her results with writing, launching, marketing, branding, and sales strategies.

If you’re trying to grow a business Join her text community and get free access to the Start Your Business Bundle.

Jennaye Fennell And Her 3 Children Are All Successful Published Authors

Jennaye Fennell and her three children are all successful published authors. Combined, they have written 7 books in total, and most of their books are based on a series called Fennell Adventures that encourages young people to take an interest in traveling.

How It All Started

During a family trip to Hawaii, Jennaye’s 9-year old son, Jace, told her that he wanted to write a book to inspire other children to enjoy reading and traveling just as much as he does. After returning home, he got started immediately and soon after released his first book entitled Journey through Hawaii with Jace. He later wrote a second book, Journey through Cuba with Jace.

This made a huge impression on Jace’s younger brother, 8-year old Merl; He quickly became inspired to become an author just like his big brother. Merl said, “Mom, I go on these trips too. Can you help me write a book like Jace?” Soon after, Journey through Texas with Merl was added to the Fennell Adventure series. And since then, Merl has written another book entitled Journey through New Orleans with Merl.

But wait there’s more

The boys’ older sister, 15-year old Jiyah decided that she wanted to get in on the action as well. She had already been a professional face painter, and had taught both of her brothers and other children how to face paint.

So she decided to write a book based on that called Princess Jiyah’s Face Painting Fairytale, which teaches positive character traits. She too has written a second book about traveling that has been added to the series called Journey through Atlanta with Jiyah.

Inspiring mom

Their mom, Jennaye, was supportive and positive about her children’s new venture, but she was also very much inspired by them. It became a normal routine for people to inquire about where these children got their drive to become authors. This led to Jennaye writing her book, Hope and Happiness.

Most would think that the mother would inspire her children to write, but in this case, it was the complete opposite. Her book, therefore, is a guide for parents on how to raise and support young entrepreneurial children.

The family motto

All in all, the Fennell family aim to inspire and promote the motto of “Living life to the Fullest.” This means following your dreams and desires right now. Their series is very unique because the books are choose-your-own adventure books. This means that they can be read in over 28 different ways!

In Interviews&profile December 19, 2022 By Esther Ijewere

Ijeoma Etuk: The Content Marketing Strategist Designing Content Calendars For Professionals

Ijeoma Etuk is the Lead Content Marketing Strategist at InkJay Creatives and Contracts with approximately 3 years of versatility in content writing, proficient researching and editing diverse content. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Biotechnology from Ebonyi State University.

How Ijeoma is helping professionals seal deals and bag contracts through her Tailormade content calendar

Ijeoma’s Momentum

She has demonstrated records of accomplishments in proposing, outlining and impacting business owners on the wheels of “Content creation with InkJay” where she has taught over 4000 business owners how to attract their audience as well as target market, build credibility and make sales while engaging, inspiring, entertaining and educating them.

Designing Tailor-Made Content Calenders

She is known to have designed well above 80 tailor-made content calendars for brands/business owners, and these calendars can make any product become your Bestseller. Testimonials of her product/services from her clients make rounds, and her brand thrives on account of the never-ending positive reviews.

To being a content marketing strategist and content writer, Ijeoma has added a Certified Virtual Assistant badge to her badges from African Leadership group.

Ijeoma Etuk’s Socia Media Skills

She can professionally cater to social media management, Email management, Customer service support, Data Entry, Lead generation and General administrative tasks. At work/trainings, Ijeoma’ soft skills would get you. She is a lover of God and works conscientiously.

The Intentional Queen, Udunma Nnenna Ikoro Shares Behind-the-Scene Stories of How She’s Building an Empire with Her Content Writing Skills

Udunma Nnenna Ikoro is the Lead Creative Director at Communique ResourceHub, a multiple Amazon Bestselling Author, trainer, and speaker. The graduate of Linguistics and Communication Studies, is also a professional communication, Educational, and Book Project Consultant, Lead Editor, and Content Strategist.

She has a rich teaching experience of 14 years and runs an online English Academy as an English language teacher. Udunma Nnenna Ikoro is an advocate of Education, Youth Empowerment, Innovation in Reading Culture, Women, Cancer Awareness and screening, Volunteering, and a Sustainable Environment.

She is the convener of the TIWA SUMMIT, The Intentional Women Africa Conference and Masterpiece Writers Summit, first held in Port Harcourt, Nigeria. She helps writers, entrepreneurs, professionals, and authors birth profitable books and become internationally published authors, especially on Amazon.

She has consulted and published books for many professionals in different sectors. The Multiple Amazon Bestselling and Publisher, who has authored twelve books shares her inspiring journey with Esther Ijewere in this interview.

Childhood Influence of Udunma Nnenna Ikoro

My childhood was a discovery and an indirect preparatory ground for what I do today. As a little girl, I became a children’s choir mistress, wrote songs and poems though never published, then moved to writing stories. I had so many thoughts and insights above my age as a child, and my writing skill was discovered early.

In Primary two, I taught my fellow mates and held after-school tutorials for others which continued in Primary five where I oversaw primary four class in the absence of their teacher and even made notes and marked class work of the pupils in the public school I attended.

Growing up in the city of Aba, Abia State was interesting as I was surrounded by my lieutenants and loved by all as the only daughter. I had the best my parents could provide although our environment did not have many social facilities, we would spend time together with our parents. My Christian foundation coupled with great values and exposure to serving God in truth and sound education made me who I am today.

Inspiration Behind Tiwa Summit and Communique Resourcehub

As an intentional woman, I discovered that many women were living other people’s dreams and living in pain, and regrets and stuck in life and their careers without fulfillment. It was obvious that many challenges and dissatisfaction were linked to no self-discovery, low self-esteem, fears, undiscovered life’s purpose, stereotypes, self-sabotage and more which I explained with their solutions intensely in my book, The Intentional Woman.

Hence, The Intentional Women Africa was birthed to help women appreciate their beauty, strength, find their purpose and enhance their potential then manifest their greatness. I held FREE three days of training, summits, and conferences to help drive home the message of intentional living as a means of manifesting a woman’s greatness.

Communique ResourceHub is my business brand and a communication and publishing consulting company. I was inspired by the fact that I know too much to remain where I was before I stepped forward into social entrepreneurship.

My desire to help people communicate their ideas, stories, knowledge, and experience effectively and error-free, using digital technology on global and local platforms while making an impact, profit and building a legacy inspired me to go into editing, book writing and publishing consultation.

The need to help writers and aspiring authors self-publish their books as I did with Amazon without some traditional publisher’s drama inspired me to start what I do at Communique ResourceHub.

The Journey So Far

It has been awesome though quite challenging and rough. I did not let the challenges break me but brush myself up to play harder and smarter. If you would like to get people to believe in what you do, you should really merit the attention and trust they will deposit in what you do. The hitches opened my eyes to greater opportunities for capacity building, critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

Challenges

Honestly, these challenges are peculiar to our environment aside from a few.

When I started and till now, people still struggle to believe I can deliver an excellent and standard job because they feel my brand is young, unknown and being resident in Africa. But my results over the years and consistency in creating content that boosted my credibility and visibility helped to reduce that and I have worked with majorly clients outside Nigeria so far, especially in Australia, the UK, the USA, Germany, Belgium, and New Zealand to mention but a few.

The issue of poor electricity supply cannot be overemphasized. It affects our productivity rate and skyrockets our products and services costs too. It affects my work in terms of the overhead cost, pricing, and turnaround time for a job. The cost of marketing to generate fresh leads and prospects is another challenge. Acquiring new upgraded gadgets and maintaining old ones.

How My Work Has Inspired Women Around Me

Many women who have encountered my intentional living message and lifestyle have been inspired to take their lives in their hands and turn it into a legacy. Many have gone ahead to start thriving businesses, build confidence to show up and be heard, and build others in their world.

I preach the message of shining brightly and illuminating others while helping them to shine their lights too because there is greatness in every person on earth.

Today, many call me The Intentional Queen because my life depicts everything about intentionality, results and manifesting your greatness no matter what the story used to be because YOU OWE YOURSELF YOUR GREATNESS. The world will only come around when you make, as they say, “success has many friends.”

Highlights of My Career as an English Language Teacher

I started teaching English Language in 2003, so, it is 19 years now. Being an English Language teacher is a privilege and a golden opportunity for me as a person.

The highlights include;

Being a part of students’ journey of becoming good in English Language.
As a teacher, I remain an English Language student to keep abreast with innovations.
I’ve had the privilege to teach students to attain success in their external and international examinations, especially IELTS.
Continuous learning while teaching others the language.
Raising leaders through other provided opportunities as a social mistress, class teacher, club coordinator, Press and Drama Club, etc.
Transitioning to an Online English Learning Academy tutor and global English language tutor.

Other Projects and Activities

As a multitalented and intentional woman with aspirations, I am usually keen to give life and manifest other parts of me that are the colors of my personality.

Some of my projects include my humanitarian and professional projects at Masterpiece Entrepreneurs and Writers Academy (MEWA). We hold writing competitions, free webinars, and content sharing in our community to help entrepreneurs, and assist writers in enhancing their writing skills to build and publish their digital products.

At The Intentional Women Africa, we hold training, summits, and conferences, and we focus on these projects; Education, Health, STEM and Skills acquisitions especially for underprivileged, unprivileged, living with disabilities women and girl children. We also hold mentoring sessions for secondary children on self-discovery and intentional living then, girl children on menstrual health.

I am also opportune to volunteer for other organizations like Revamp Africa as State Coordinator supporting teaching and mentoring of children in the public schools, UN, and YALI, to mention but a few.

On 17^th December 2022, we will be celebrating our 2^nd Anniversary and conducting a Cervical and Breast Cancers Screening for two hundred women with FREE treatment featuring business, health, Tech and life-seasoned speakers in Lagos, Nigeria.

Being An Amazon Bestselling Author

Becoming an Amazon bestselling author was not an easy journey, but I did it afraid even as a first-time author, in 2017 with my book, Phenomenal Parenting. I got helpful training and knowledge through paid and self-taught courses and research.

I intentionally replicated the same result with my second book which was an answer to questions from my audience on how I achieved bestselling book status. It worked even better. Ever since 2018, I have published many authors and their books hit Amazon bestselling books driving sales. Besides, my twelve books on Amazon are all bestselling books.

What Udunma Nnenna Ikoro Enjoys Most About Her Job

This is an interesting question and one I love to answer at every interview. There are many things I enjoy about my job but what I enjoy most is the fulfillment of serving my world with my expertise, experience, skills and knowledge from the comfort of my home, making an impact, profit and building a legacy as a writer while helping others great the life they enjoy too.

Three Women Who Inspire You and Why

My mum is my top inspiration any day. She is a good example of a Proverbs 31 woman. She is the true Intentional Woman, industrious and kind. Amongst all she taught me, I learnt patience from my mum while the Holy Spirit helped me to become a truly patient person.

To Those Trying to Learn Content Monetization

Writing is an expressive medium of communication. To make your writing craft profitable, your writing must be valuable to your audience. Profits go after values.

Profitable writing solves problems, answers questions, and transforms the reader.

Only a person of value can give value. Improve daily on your craft, write, and have a likable personality from your sharable content. Your content is relatable when it is experiential content. Be visible. Be intentional. Be consistent.

How to Support Women in the Creative and Writing Sector

Women in the creative and writing sector need support in the areas of promotion of their skills and work. If their work could be pushed to the right audience globally and locally, it is a way of appreciation and encouragement.

There is a need for valuable mentorship because it is a huge advantage to the woman who is trying to find her feet in the creative and writing sector.

Funding, purchases, and referral are invaluable support every woman and human being needs to grow and excel in their work.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am a Woman of Rubies because I am a woman making an impact in the lives of many women all around the world. I have integrity and excellence as my personal and brand values. Daily I do my best to live by them in my relationship with people. I am a gift and unrepentant giver who gives and keeps giving to lift, help and support other people and humanity. I love lavishly and believe in helping others manifest their greatness.

How to Get My Books:

Available at Worital Bookplaze, Roving Heights and other books across Nigeria, Bambooks, Okadabooks, Apples Book and Amazon.

Phone number: 09098028001

How to Reach Udunma Nnenna Ikoro on Social Media

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nnenna-udunma-ikoro-10ab2848

Facebook: www.facebook.com/uikoro

Twitter: twitter.com/ikoroudunma

Instagram: instagram.com/udunmaikoro

Instagram: www.instagram.com/communique.resourcehub

communiquehub@gmail.com

My forthcoming cancer screening charity project:

The Intentional Women Africa’s 2nd Anniversary Conference and Cervical and Breast Cancer Screening Campaign.

Date: 17th December, 2022.

Venue: 1-7

Time: 8am

Screening fee: N7000

Registration link: bit.ly/TIWA2CBCS

Further enquiries : tiwacommunity@gmail.com 09098028001

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In Inspiration November 25, 2022 By Esther Ijewere

Nadia Murad: The Nobel Peace Prize Winner Who Set Up Fund For Survivors Of Wartime Rape

Nadia Murad was born into a farming family in Kojo, Iraq. She belongs to the Yazidi ethnic and religious minority. When she was 19 years old, the Islamic State attacked her village and killed 600 Yazidi men, including several of her family members. ⁣
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Murad and other young women were taken prisoner and subjected to beatings and rape. She managed to escape, however, and make her way to a refugee camp. There she was offered the opportunity to move to Germany, where she now lives.⁣

She was awarded the Nobel peace prize in 2018 alongside Denis Mukwege for ”their efforts to end the use of sexual violence as a weapon of war and armed conflict.”⁣
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On October 30, 2019, Nadia and Dennis set up a fund to provide reparations for survivors of wartime rape.⁣
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The Global Survivors Fund will provide tailored support to help people recover from the emotional and physical trauma they have experienced. This could be in the form of financial compensation, support to access healthcare services or return to education, or assistance with getting somewhere to live.⁣
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The fund will also support governments to set up their own reparation schemes.⁣
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Commenting on the development, Nadia said ”Reparations are a step toward restoring dignity to survivors who often do not have any means to seek justice for the pain and suffering they have endured.”⁣
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”A global fund is an innovative solution to providing survivors with a path towards healing, and it signals that our collective conscience acts in the name of humanity.”⁣

Nadia’s Story

“Nadia Murad is herself a victim of war crimes. She refused to accept the social codes that require women to remain silent and ashamed of the abuses to which they have been subjected. She has shown uncommon courage in recounting her own sufferings and speaking up on behalf of other victims.

“Nadia Murad is a member of the Yazidi minority in northern Iraq, where she lived with her family in the remote village of Kocho. In August 2014 the Islamic State (IS) launched a brutal, systematic attack on the villages of the Sinjar district, aimed at exterminating the Yazidi population.

In Nadia Murad’s village, several hundred people were massacred. The younger women, including underage children, were abducted and held as sex slaves.

While a captive of the IS, Nadia Murad was repeatedly subjected to rape and other abuses. Her assaulters threatened to execute her if she did not convert to their hateful, inhuman version of Islam.

“Nadia Murad is just one of an estimated 3,000 Yazidi girls and women who were victims of rape and other abuses by the IS army. The abuses were systematic, and part of a military strategy. Thus they served as a weapon in the fight against Yazidis and other religious minorities.

Watch: How To Be A Competent Leader

“After a three-month nightmare Nadia Murad managed to flee. Following her escape, she chose to speak openly about what she had suffered. In 2016, at the age of just 23, she was named the UN’s first Goodwill Ambassador for the Dignity of Survivors of Human Trafficking.” writes.

Source: Nobel Prize.org, Guardian

In self development November 21, 2022 By Women of Rubies

Chisom Winifred: Want To Be An Excellent Blogger? These Tips Are Here For You

Would you like to start a successful blogging career? Reading broadens your horizon. Read the works of other writers, read articles, newspapers, magazines, self-help books, and fiction books. Just read! If you read regularly, you would always have things to write about.

When most people start blogging, they get excited, announce it on their Instagram pages, add ‘blogger’ to their bios, and then – almost predictably – after a while, their creativity and consistency fade away, and drop drastically.

What has helped me stay consistent over the years, as a blogger, is that I consider blogging as a part of my legacy. My content, words, and ideas are forever on the web and anyone who searches my name would get a feel of the gift God gave me.

If you are about to start blogging or if you’re already a blogger, here are some tips that have helped me to creatively solve the problems I’ve faced:

Deal with your bias

We’re all biased in one way or the other. When it comes to subjects and issues, we always have our opinions based on our experience or on what we think is right, and most times, we are wrong about those opinions. Dealing with your bias when it comes to issues and topics you blog about helps you present your articles in a clear, wholesome way, devoid of personal judgment. Deal with your bias by doing adequate research before you write, present all your thoughts in your articles and give different perspectives on the matter. It shows your readers you are not a narrow-minded person and they are able to draw their own conclusions without you forcing your own opinions on them.

Also, learn to think clearly before writing. Analyze and understand ideas and arguments before expressing them. Thinking clearly makes you bold enough to write with assertion. It also helps you question if what you are writing is the truth or if it’s influenced by your biases.

Always research your blogging niche

Read a lot, listen to people, watch movies, and open your mind to learn from different sources. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Doing adequate research on topics you choose to write about arms you with the knowledge you need to pen down a good piece.

Get an editor

Getting an editor is very important. Imagine a pencil without an eraser. An editor not only serves to grammatically correct your work but also plays the role of a gatekeeper before your work is shared with the public. Having an unbiased mind go through your articles and give you honest and constructive criticism makes you a better writer and that way, you churn out awesome essays every time you write. A common problem most beginners face is the inability to afford an editor at the early stages of their careers, mostly because of financial constraints. What you can do is think of the other skills you have that the editor can benefit from and offer that in place of money. Since you can write, suggest ghostwriting for your editor in exchange for him/her editing your blog posts.

Planning

Always plan ahead. Create a monthly/quarterly content calendar for your blog. It helps you stay consistent and gives you plenty of time to research your topics before you write about them.

Read

Reading broadens your horizon. Read the works of other writers, read articles, newspapers, magazines, self-help books, and fiction books. Just read! If you read regularly, you would always have things to write about.

Tell your story

It’s advisable to always put an element of yourself in your stories. Tell your story in a way that only you can. Don’t fall under the pressure of trying to sound like someone else because you think that person is gaining more traction. You can never be excellent at copying someone, so learn to be the best version of yourself.

Be ready to deal with writer’s block

Writer’s block happens to the best of us. Most times, it is your brain trying to tell you that it’s time for a break. Whenever I deal with blocks, I try to relax. Breathe and think about why you are unable to write at that point. You can also write about the block, and what you’re feeling, and share it. That is solid content on its own. If you have a block about a certain area you are trying to write on, try writing about something that is entirely new to you.

Get an accountability partner

What happens when you don’t publish a post as you promised yourself you would? Nothing? Too bad. That is the beginning of the end of your blog. You need someone to keep you accountable. You can get your parents to help by sharing your dream with them, they’ll keep you on your toes.

Blogging is not as easy as most people think, it can be draining and often discouraging when it doesn’t pay the returns you’d like immediately. See blogging as an extension of yourself, a hobby you enjoy doing, and would continue to do even when you have zero readers. Think about it as your legacy, this would keep you going when no one is clapping for you.

I hope you found these tips helpful. Happy blogging!

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