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self development

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 There is a rise in domestic violence and it is more painful when you decide to stay because of the kids. What exactly are you teaching them? Do you realise the psychological and emotional effect the constant violence they witness have on them?
Every life matters but when you are constantly traumatized and you face physical abuse, it is better to leave, don’t wait for your abuser to change. Truth is nothing justifies Assault and battery. Domestic violence is not gender based but I would want to focus on women.  Women should stop  enduring DV. There is no accolade for enduring domestic violence.
I understand the stigma attached to being a divorced or single parent especially as a woman but that is not enough to stay where you are no longer accepted or tolerated. Most women have lost their lives as a result of the shame of speaking out. They try to hide their pain and wallow in self pity, denial and shame. I understand their are unfavourable factors that they might want to deal with which is why some prefer to endure abuse and live in denial.
I will like to mention but a few.

1. Parental Rules. 

Parents should learn to accept their kids who have the courage to walk out of ill  relationships. They should welcome them and make them feel at home. Some parents have lost their child because they don’t want to be associated with a daughter who walked out of a relationship not minding the grievance of what she passed through. They stigmatize her and give unrealistic advice with expectation that the abuser will change. They try to avoid whatever will according to them, tarnish their image or reputation amongst friends, colleagues and the society.

2. Religious doctrine 

Christianity tells you that marriage  is for better for worse and as such you are to endure and back your abuser in prayers. Your are to pray and fast for him to change. How do you achieve that? How do you remain  where you are constantly being beaten, inflected with physical injuries, you are mentally drained and emotionally broken? Just How? You are reminded that God hates divorce and for you not to offend God you just have to look for a way round the situation but walking away is certainly not one of those choices.

3.The society. 

The society already has a title for you as a woman who was once married and they try to pull you down with either their words or attitude. They act like a reminder to your previous status and some even try to stigmatise you especially when a child(ren) are involved.You’re most likely not to be given a fair judgement as they analyse and conclude on how, why and when you become a single parent or divorced woman.

4. You!

Yes you, you already have conditioned yourself to be too dependent on your abuser that you fear what the future holds outside that relationship. You prefer to take the insults for the fear of starting life afresh. You endure all his abuse because you feel that is the only way to gain respect. You have so built your world around him that you just don’t want to see beyond the abuse. You are scared of what your fellow married women would say and you don’t want to be mocked. I quite understand but the truth is not every one who walks out of an abusive relationship alive. Think about it.

5. The children 

Most women who died in The hands of their abusive partner stayed backed because of their  children. They were more concerned about the welfare of their kids but never really understood that theses kids are accumulating  and assimilating negative notions of how a family should live. You stay back for your children but have your asked what exactly are they learning in such a Commotinal environment? The bitter truth about staying in such a relationship is that when you die, these kids if not grown up will be told a different story about you. They will be lied them and you might be painted black. You stay and die for the children but their live goes on.
Finally, I am not advocating for you to leave a happy home but all I am saying is when domestic violence becomes a norm in your Violent relationships, please leave to live. Make your happiness and wellbeing your priority and walk out with confidence.
Remember that a life worth living is worth living well and marriage void of abuse of any sort is best enjoyed and appreciated.

Hey Guys. We love you, but some of the expectations you have of us, girls, range from bluntly absurd to rather mean. Just like you, we’re face the same limitations that are posed on us by being human.

If you stop expecting the next 7  things, our whole relationships may go onto the next quality level!

  1. We cannot look hot without taking no time to get ready.

Do you realize that even those “effortless, I just got out of bed look” requires hours of careful preparation – blow dry, face tone, mascara, bronzer, etc. Don’t pace nervously around the room, sighing for the tenth time, looking at your watch and moaning: “Are you ready, yet?”. Most of us were not born so naturally good-looking as you are. So sit down and wait if you’d like us to look gorgeous as hell.

2.  We won’t stop dating other people unless we are official

Just too many guys these days falsely assume that while they are still playing the field, hooking up, and going on dates with other girls, we would show the outmoded notion of chivalry and sit at home, patiently waiting for your call. That will likely not gonna happen until we become official. Until you are clear about your expectations, we will continue keeping our options open!

3. We won’t stop being friends with our male buddies

Yes, we are together now and we may be in love, but that absolutely doesn’t mean we should banish our male friends. They have been around for decades before you, supporting and helping us expecting nothing in return! If you expect that now you will be the only man in our life, you are very wrong. Having male friends for a girl is all right and you should deal with it. Men are 50% of the population and some of them are friends with women.

4. We can’t read your mind

As a man, you are likely not used to spilling out all your feelings and troubles. We get that. You are not used to complaining. You don’t want to appear weak and so on. But if something really bothers you – we want to know! We can see you are being passive-aggressive so something must be wrong. Yet, in most cases we cannot read your mind and magically guess the reason. Instead of playing an evening game of charade with questions like: “Did something happen at work yesterday?”, “Did you fight with Joe?”, “Is your Mom feeling well”? and so on, just tell us what’s wrong! We’d really appreciate that.

5. We can’t call you less and more at the same time

Yes, you don’t like us to be that annoying gal who rings you up ten times a day and texts in between the calls. Sure, no man likes overwhelming attention. That makes you feel creepy. Yet, at the same time, if we do not call you often enough, you just assume we are not that into you. Work with us to find the fine line that is not too much, not too little, but just right.

6.  We rarely make an exception in our rules for you

Most of us have these small rules when it comes to dating: “no kissing on the first date”, “the 5 date rule”, and so on. Those rules exist in a woman’s mind for a reason. We don’t want to feel cheap or used. We don’t want to get hurt or become too close before we get to know each other well enough. If you are, indeed, “worth it”, we’ll break the rules without any extra encouragement from your side.

7.  We can’t be casual and emotional all at once

Guys, we sometimes don’t mind having just a casual physical connection and not being in a relationship. Yet, if  you “don’t really look for a relationship right now,” then we don’t really look to deal with your emotional issues, go to brunch together or give an advice of what to say at a job interview. If this is “just sex,” just have sex with us, but don’t bring in your emotional baggage and false expectations in tow.

 

 

 

A close-knit group of trusted friends is important for everyone’s well-being, but women in particular can benefit from their female friendships.

Here’s five benefits of female friendships, and why it’s so important to maintain and nurture them

Most of us have been dumped, experienced pain or loss, or faced conflict in our lives. As humans, we tend to go through highs and lows and these experiences can be a little easier when we have girlfriends to support us.

The truth is – having female friends is incredibly important for your mental health.

1. Female friends can understand you in ways that men may not

Although we are biologically alike, there are differences in the way different sexes can engage and react with situations. Without generalising too much, women tend to have nurturing, mothering qualities which can be empathetic and understanding when you need it the most.

So, when you vent about work or your in-laws, another woman can be more empathetic, validate your reasoning and draw on their own personal experiences to relate back to you.

A pattern I’ve seen in certain people who enter relationships is the isolation process that takes place after. They start spending all of their time with their significant other, coming to them for every type of support and slowly start fading away from their platonic relationships.

Your girlfriends understand you in a way that your man doesn’t.

Having an intimate connection with your significant other is great and expected in any healthy relationship. However, when it comes to vulnerability, it is never fair to confide in only one person.

When you are only confiding in one person for every single thing, you are inadvertently putting a heavy amount of pressure on that person. What you’re essentially doing is turning that person into an “emotional dumpster” so to speak.

And to put it simply, there are going to be times where your guy just can’t relate.

There are going to be times where your man is not going to be able to give you the comfort or support you need, and he really should not need to.

Your girlfriends understand you in a way that your man doesn’t.

The saying goes that “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” and there’s a lot of psychological truth to that. Even though men and women may complement each other, such friendships with our girlfriends are an outlet to “share problems, thoughts, feelings, and triumphs”.

By nature, women are more intuitive as well. Those things that come up that your guy thinks you are “overthinking” or being “crazy” about, your girls will be there to acknowledge your feelings and back with reasoning.

Confiding with your girlfriends gives you an entirely different level of emotional support.

2. Female friends can offer you a fresh perspective

Although women have the love and support of our partners, a female friend can offer you a different perspective in times of need.

For relationships, a female friend can act as an outsider looking in, giving honest advice that we may not always want to hear, but provides a different perspective that can positively influence our decisions.

Female friends can also be great for your self-esteem. A good female friend won’t fat-shame you or let you fat-shame yourself, they will tell you why you deserve that promotion or why your partner should treat you better.

After walking away from a conversation with a good female friend you should feel confident and supported.

3. Female friends can be a voice of honesty

Even if the honesty can come across as brutal, at least you know that you’re getting the absolute truth.

Female friends can be your sounding board, someone who will listen to your ideas, thoughts and opinions and then tell you what they honestly think. Recent research suggests that our female friends know us better than our partners. They therefore know when you need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or a night out dancing and drinking cocktails!

4. Female friends get better with age

Good quality girlfriends are like fine red wines: they get better with age. Recent research actually tells us that the average female friendship lasts 16 years, which is 6 years longer than the average romantic relationship. Once we turn 55, our friendships on average last 23 years! Female friends can challenge us to try new things, act as mentors in our career and push us to excel in all areas of life.

5. Female friendships can help us deal with stress.

Women and men biologically have differing responses to stress. Women who are stressed respond with a reaction called ‘tend and befriend’, which means they tend to nurture those around them and reach out to others, often other women.

Research has even shown that women have higher survival rates from breast cancer when they have strong friendships than those in social isolation.

So…

Contrary to popular opinions on how women are their worst enemies, a lot of women have agreed and acknowledged the positive impact and pleasant vibes female friendships has offered to them. And from this article, it is clear how much benefits female friendships have to offer.

Get past the notion of women not being able to befriend each other, get past that idea of women being there wist enemies and open your eyes to a new horizon. See that women are not just capable of bonding and being friends, women are truly meant to be friends with each other.

 

All successful women seem to share a particular innate quality. They all carry themselves with a kind of confidence that matches with their level of success.

They all know there is a need to invest in certain not-so-secret things and they also show that acquiring and attaining these characteristics won’t buy you success. But it will give you the confidence to be the woman you dream to be and show you that it’s not someone you need to transform into, but someone you’ve been all along.

So here is how you can become the best version of yourself as a woman by investing in these 6 things.

1. Education

Sheryl Sandberg has openly admitted that one piece of advice she would tell her twenty-year-old self would be to create an 18-month learning plan.

Alongside your goals, you need to plan out exactly what you want to learn over that period and improve on the things that scare you the most. Because the successful woman knows that in order to succeed she needs to commit herself to education.

More importantly, she knows that it doesn’t finish when University does – the process of learning does not stop there. It’s up to you to further your education and build your knowledge. It’s a choice and it’s a choice you should make for yourself every day.

Your day should consist of at least one hour of personal development. And this can be as easy as signing up to coursera and learning a new skill in an hour.

2. The tools you need to get things done – such as a personal computer, a tablet, a journal.

Oprah famously keeps many journals to get her through, she keeps a health and wellness journal to track her growth so she can look back on it and reflect.

But it’s not only her, no successful career woman can get through any day without her planner. It’s her right-hand man and it goes wherever she does.

A journal helps you keep tab of things and a planner helps you note down things you need to do at particular times. And no, it’s not just about keeping up with a to-do list. You need one for every area, finance, fitness, business plans.

3. Your wellbeing

Gwyneth Paltrow is a huge wellness advocate and has even built a brand around it – and there’s no wonder she looks so good. But it’s not only her on that’s on a wellness mission, Arianna Huffington also boasts that yoga is the best thing she can do to achieve and maintain balance in her life.

Because if you look after your body, in turn, it will look after you. It’s your wellbeing that will help you become successful, it goes hand in hand! Without it, you’ll struggle, but with it, you’ll be bigger and better.

This concerns your health, what you eat and put into your body (make sure to only eat for energy) and how you switch off at the end of the day.

4. Mindfulness

If you want to become successful you have to start taking mindfulness seriously.

Take a leaf from Victoria Beckham who uses crystals to keep her grounded, or Gwyneth Paltrow who is very holistic. It’s about clarity and keeping your mind clear.

By doing this you’ll be ensuring that you’re well looked after and calm of mind, which will help you not only to perform better at work but be more present daily.

5. Your self-development

Growth should be one of your top goals always. And it’s something you need to always remind yourself to do.

What makes you different from six months ago? If you reply with nothing then it means you’re not progressing.
Finding the time can be difficult, but that’s where you need to make the time because it will only help you in your career.

Read and buy books you usually wouldn’t, expand your horizons, attend those classes you never get around to – just do it.

Make a list of the areas of your life you want to progress in and then come up with a plan that will help make this happen.

6. Proper Organization

I could talk about organization for days. It’s something that excites me and helps me operate at my best. I cannot think clearly if it is not tidy around me, which means it’s essential that not only my work life is organized by my home life too.

Emma Watson, for example, said she swears by multiple notebooks to get things done. “I keep a dream diary, I keep a yoga diary, I keep diaries on people that I’ve met and things that they’ve said to me, advice that they’ve given me,” she revealed.

Keeping multiple notebooks is no bad thing, it’ll allow you to organize your thoughts and keep everything in the right place. Invest in stationery that’s designed to help your life run smoother.

 

Living with a  depressed partner who is often unhappy, critical and negative isn’t easy, and it may also be hard to persuade the individual to get help. Depression can put a strain between you and your partner if it’s not handled properly.
Tips on how to cope with a depressed partner
Tips on how to cope with a depressed partner [Atinka Online]

 

Depression varies tremendously in severity, but it has many behavioral impacts that can profoundly affect all significant relationships. Many factors can contribute to one’s depression, most especially when he is in a low place in his life.

Depression results from shifts in brain chemistry that influence mood, thoughts, sex drive, sleep, appetite, and energy levels. All factors that could affect a marriage, as well as disrupt home and family life.

So what do you do when your partner or husband won’t talk to you but grumble, complain and mope around the house? Here’s how to deal with a depressed partner.

1. Find the root of the problem

 You have to know what the problem is to solve it [How Africa]You have to know what the problem is to solve it [How Africa]

This is the first step to solving the problem. You have to know what the problem is to solve it. Is it the person’s job? Earnings? Or even you and the family? A problem shared is a problem solved. And in a case where he doesn’t talk, do some digging, but not snooping and getting into the partner’s business. Just gather enough information that would help in solving the problem.

2. Identify what you each can handle and stick to it

Supporting a significant other through a hard time is always going to be stressful. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it, but it can be a danger to your well-being. You can’t help your partner if you’re too overwhelmed to function. When you’re helping your partner, be sure to give yourself some clear boundaries on what you can and cannot offer them. Getting a therapist for your partner is advised.

3. Seek help together

Support goes a long way in helping your spouse. Seek help together, whether it is a counselor you see or a professional therapist, a spiritual counselor or help from family members. You need to be by your partner’s side so the individual doesn’t go through the journey alone.

4. Demonstrate your love

Telling and showing your partner that you love them helps them [Pulse Nigeria]

Depression can make a person feel like a burden and unworthy of love and support. Proactively counteract those thoughts by telling and showing your partner that you love them. Let them know that you understand that depression is affecting their thoughts, feelings, and behavior and that you (still) love them. Reassure them that you are here to support them in their journey to get better.

5. Do family activities together

You can take him and the kids out, do something fun as you used to you when dating. Getting him distracted will help the recuperation process. He needs to feel needed and useful again, to know that there are people counting on him. You are the one who can best help your husband because you know him best.

Learning how to leave a toxic relationship is never as easy as saying, “Hit the road, Jack!” – especially not when you are in love with your partner.

If you’ve been in a toxic relationship, you know exactly how emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting they can be. But if a toxic relationship is so taxing, why is it so hard to leave?

In this article, you will find out why it’s difficult to leave a toxic relationship and how to leave a toxic relationship for good.

How to Know if You’re in a Toxic Relationship

Sometimes it’s hard to know whether you are in a toxic relationship or not. It is often because of the manipulation involved in partner -toxicity.

Another reason why it may be difficult to admit that you’re in a toxic relationship is that there isn’t any outward abuse. Your partner may not hit you or cross any obvious sexual boundaries,[1] but that doesn’t mean you’re in a healthy relationship.

Making a pro/con list can be a helpful first step when learning how to leave a toxic relationship.

Pros might be that your spouse makes you laugh, you enjoy the same hobbies, and you love them.

But, what are the cons of being in your current circumstances?

When you make out this list, it’s important, to be honest with yourself. Does your partner do any of the following?

 

  • Doesn’t give you privacy
  • Cut you off from friends/family/finances
  • Prevents you from attending school or work
  • Is controlling and jealous
  • Makes all the decisions in your relationship
  • Pressures you into things you aren’t comfortable with
  • Makes “jokes” or criticizes you
  • Is unfaithful
  • Talks down to you
  • Destroys property
  • Sends threatening text messages
  • Invades your privacy (checks your phone/social media/follows you)
  • Threatens to do something horrible if you leave the relationship
  • Gaslights/acts like the things they are doing are not a big deal

If these toxic behaviors remind you of your spouse, this may be the wake-up call you need to take action and get out of your dangerous relationship.

Why Do People Remain in Toxic Relationships?

One of the main culprits is oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone in your body that releases during moments of intimacy. This could include making love, holding hands, kissing, or even cuddling with someone.

When oxytocin is released, it causes you to be more trusting of your partner, even when trust is not warranted. This sneaky little hormone is also guilty of promoting bonding, which can make it feel impossible to leave your spouse, even when you know they aren’t good for you.

In addition to the effect of oxytocin, here’re 5 more things that make leaving a toxic relationship difficult:

1. Abuse Weakens You Emotionally

Emotional abuse can be devastating to everyone, leaving the individual weak without self-esteem, making starting afresh a difficult decision to make.

2. It Can Be Life-Threatening

Leaving a toxic relationship can be dangerous, leading to all sorts of consequences, even death. Research shows that a toxic partner kills a larger percentage of women in weeks after leaving a toxic relationship than when they remain in the relationship.

3. The “It Will Stop Mindset’

Society has ingrained in us a “don’t give up on anything” mindset in which people follow even when they recognize it might result in something catastrophic. That mindset is also followed by having the thought that the abuse will stop eventually.

4. Social Pressure

There is always that social pressure from friends, family members, etc., to want a relationship – this pressure only makes the situation worse.

5. Social Reaction

People often don’t want to admit to anyone that they are going through a hard time, which cuts across relationships. People in toxic relationships don’t want to admit the kind of abuse they are going through because of fear or shame of being blamed or judged.

 

The Effects of Emotional Abuse in a Toxic Relationship

1. Fear

This is a constant concern or awareness of danger. You start to have trust issues with anyone you find yourself with that building a relationship becomes issue overtime.

2. Shame

You don’t feel free to interact with anyone who knows what you have gone through like Friends, family members, etc., which often can result in loneliness.

3. Confusion

Your mind consistently wonders, and you seem to lose concentration and cant focus on a particular task.

4. Drugs or drinking

Abuse often results in excessive use of drugs and drinking. Thought that it could take away the pain is a delusion.

5. Suicide

When the pain and trauma get too much, it can often result in the party taking their lives.

6. Sleep trouble

You don’t get to enjoy sleep as you are supposed to. Thoughts and anxiety become the order of every moment.

How to Leave a Toxic Relationship

1. Know That You Deserve Better

Months or years of being told that you’ll never find anyone better than your spouse can wear on you, and you may even start to believe it. But this isn’t true.

Tearing down self-esteem and self-worth is what abusers do to keep their victims trapped in the relationship.

Let “I deserve better!” become your daily mantra. Remind yourself of your worth every day.

You’ve tried your hardest to make your relationship work, but sometimes love is not enough, and you need to move on for your own mental and physical wellbeing.

2. Build a Support System

The emotions you go through for a toxic breakup are much the same as going through a breakup of a healthy relationship. You will feel conflicted, lovesick, relieved, depressed, and more.

Leaving a toxic relationship is especially difficult if you have been financially reliant on your ex – but don’t despair!

Instead of focusing on why this will be hard, focus on building a support system you’ll need when you take the plunge. Research shows that friend and family support during trying times lowers psychological distress.

Having a support system around will make it easier for you to move on.

3. Be Firm About Your Decision

Breakups are hard, no matter what the circumstance is. You’re leaving a life that you’ve grown accustomed to, and even if you know the relationship is no longer safe, it still sucks, leaving the life you’ve built for yourself.

There may be times when you are tempted to get back with your partner, but stand firm! You deserve a partner who loves and respects you.

Do not give your ex any false hope of getting back together. Be firm in your decision to leave the relationship and don’t budge.

4. Cut Off Contact

One of the biggest times for how to leave a toxic relationship would be to cut off all contact with your ex once you’ve broken up.

 

Keeping in contact with your ex opens the door for you to get back together. Plus, seeing your ex across social media will make the memory of the relationship feel fresh in your mind. Here’s what to do when you experience that.

Instead of dwelling in the past, focus on the future, keep yourself motivated. Delete your ex from social media, block them on your phone, and find ways to avoid seeing them in person. These actions will make it clear that you want nothing to do with them.

5. It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken

If you’re at the point of breaking up, you’ve likely tried all of the tricks to get your spouse to change their toxic ways.

Maybe you went to therapy, took a relationship class, or made date nights a priority – but nothing worked.

Your partner is not going to change, and it’s important to remind yourself of this often.

You did everything you could to help them and reason with them, and it didn’t work. Do not expect miracles after a breakup.

Even if an abusive ex changes their ways, it is likely only due to the shock of the breakup. If you got back together, their likelihood of returning to their toxic behaviors is incredibly high.

Learning how to leave a toxic relationship is one thing, but following through with it is an entirely different story. If you are having trouble leaving an abusive or toxic partner, reach out to a trusted friend, family, or call/text/chat with an abusive relationship support line like Day One.

Source: Lifehack

Jasmine Womack worked in education as a literature teacher for over 10 years but she didn’t want to be a teacher forever. Jasmine’s goal was to one day leave the classroom and become an academic coach, and eventually, an assistant principal.

But when she wrote and released a book at the top of her 11th year of teaching, things started to shift for her. She realized that she had created a product and if she could learn how to effectively brand herself, market, and sell it, she had the power to create the income she wanted to make.

Virtual Workshops

To fill her knowledge gap she turned to free virtual workshops. “I found them so valuable that I wanted to create my own,” she says. “I turned my book into a 21-day workshop that was called the Get Your HOUSE In Order Challenge and 400 people registered in about two weeks. I was floored.”

The challenge was a huge success. A few months later, people started asking her to host it again. She did. But this time, she charged a $10 fee for it. 30 people registered. She made $300 from something she’d already created and didn’t have to leave her house.

Jasmine realized she was on to something. However, she wasn’t ready to walk away from teaching— she enjoyed her career. That is until she experienced workplace harassment from her evaluating supervisor a year later.

Jasmine Womack
Jasmine Womack

Jasmine says she knew at that time that she had some serious decisions to make, but one thing that comforted her was that she had something to fall back on. In her side hustle, which eventually evolved to executive coaching and writing consultancy, she had perfected a system. She knew how to get clients, ensure results, and obtain quarterly cycles, and she had the work ethic to maintain it all. A year in, she was already making close to five figures per month on top of her teaching salary.

“That year ended up being my last year [in teaching] and it was one of the toughest decisions I made. I didn’t want to leave the way I was leaving – upset, angry, slightly bitter, and feeling like I was done wrong. But two months after the school year ended, I finally crossed the five-figure per month milestone and it was no looking back.”

How Jasmine Womack Transitioned

While Jasmine already had a working system, an entrepreneur’s mindset, and a strong work ethic before stepping into it full-time, the transition period wasn’t flawless. She still had to learn how to set a daily schedule, stay on schedule, and eliminate distractions.

“The biggest lesson came when I felt like I could do things when and how I wanted and as a result, I found myself struggling to balance [my] kids, who were at home during summer break, and staying up all night to work because I wasted the morning. It was this that helped me understand that the same systems and schedules in my career were established for a reason – and that if I wanted to continue to have success, I needed to establish these same daily routines and schedules in my business.”

Jamine’s Resillience

With that realization, Jasmine committed to doing what she needed to keep moving forward.

When I ask her to share some tips for setting goals, a schedule, and staying on task for first-time entrepreneurs she says, “Plan backwards. Determine the goals you want to reach by the end of the year. To accomplish the annual goal, understand the metrics you need to meet quarterly, then monthly (so you can reach the quarterly goals), then weekly (so you can hit the monthly goals), and then daily (to help you reach your weekly goal). Now, you know what you need to do each day, week, month, and quarter so that you can reach your goal by the end of the year.”

She also recommends time blocking your calendar. She suggests putting everything in your life and business on your calendar to ensure you are making time for it. Jasmine Womack includes vacations, content planning, and time off in hers.

Challenges & Success

“Success is filled with mountains and valleys,” Jasmine says when the conversation shifts.

While on the outside it may seem like her entrepreneurial journey didn’t have any major hiccups, she assures me that she had her fair share of challenges although she makes it a point not to complain.

One of the biggest challenges she says she had to overcome was herself. “Imposter Syndrome,” she says. “Online is a smokescreen and if you are not careful, you will find yourself looking at other people’s curated content and at times feeling like you don’t measure up. I’ve felt like this before, and even felt as if I wasn’t ‘doing enough’ but I had to quickly self-check. I committed to focusing on my stuff more than anyone else’s. I don’t look at other people, especially others in my industry.”

Work-Life Balance

Making time for her family and her health also got tricky while scaling a quickly growing business. “There was a point in time where my kids complained about how much I was on my phone and my husband felt like I compromised our marriage for the sake of building a business. And then there was my health, I gained over 40 lbs, primarily from dealing with the stress. I fixed this by having set starting and stop working times, communicating with my family if I had to work outside of those designated work periods, and outsourcing home responsibilities (cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping).”

When it comes to more nitty-gritty business challenges like learning about messaging, standing out above others in her industry, and pricing her products and services, she says those challenges don’t disappear on their own. As a coach herself, she believes in coaching and has hired coaches to help her with her messaging, and mindset around pricing in particular when she gets stuck.

Final Words

Jasmine’s final words for others looking to follow in her footsteps are: “Set your goal, pray about it, and go after it with all your heart. Don’t take your eye off the goal.”

Jasmine provides full step-by-step strategies and systems to her clients so they can duplicate her results with writing, launching, marketing, branding, and sales strategies.

If you’re trying to grow a business Join her text community and get free access to the Start Your Business Bundle.

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Source: Baucemagazine.com

Jennaye Fennell and her three children are all successful published authors. Combined, they have written 7 books in total, and most of their books are based on a series called Fennell Adventures that encourages young people to take an interest in traveling.

How It All Started

During a family trip to Hawaii, Jennaye’s 9-year old son, Jace, told her that he wanted to write a book to inspire other children to enjoy reading and traveling just as much as he does. After returning home, he got started immediately and soon after released his first book entitled Journey through Hawaii with Jace. He later wrote a second book, Journey through Cuba with Jace.

This made a huge impression on Jace’s younger brother, 8-year old Merl; He quickly became inspired to become an author just like his big brother. Merl said, “Mom, I go on these trips too. Can you help me write a book like Jace?”  Soon after, Journey through Texas with Merl was added to the Fennell Adventure series. And since then, Merl has written another book entitled Journey through New Orleans with Merl.

But wait there’s more

The boys’ older sister, 15-year old Jiyah decided that she wanted to get in on the action as well. She had already been a professional face painter, and had taught both of her brothers and other children how to face paint.

So she decided to write a book based on that called Princess Jiyah’s Face Painting Fairytale, which teaches positive character traits. She too has written a second book about traveling that has been added to the series called Journey through Atlanta with Jiyah.

Jennaye Fennell

Inspiring mom

Their mom, Jennaye, was supportive and positive about her children’s new venture, but she was also very much inspired by them. It became a normal routine for people to inquire about where these children got their drive to become authors. This led to Jennaye writing her book, Hope and Happiness.

Most would think that the mother would inspire her children to write, but in this case, it was the complete opposite. Her book, therefore, is a guide for parents on how to raise and support young entrepreneurial children.

The family motto

All in all, the Fennell family aim to inspire and promote the motto of “Living life to the Fullest.” This means following your dreams and desires right now. Their series is very unique because the books are choose-your-own adventure books. This means that they can be read in over 28 different ways!

 

Ijeoma Etuk is the Lead Content Marketing Strategist at InkJay Creatives and Contracts with approximately 3 years of versatility in content writing, proficient researching and editing diverse content. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Biotechnology from Ebonyi State University.

How Ijeoma is helping professionals seal deals and bag contracts through her Tailormade content calendar

Ijeoma’s Momentum

She has demonstrated records of accomplishments in proposing, outlining and impacting business owners on the wheels of “Content creation with InkJay” where she has taught over 4000 business owners how to attract their audience as well as target market, build credibility and make sales while engaging, inspiring, entertaining and educating them.

Ijeoma Etuk

Designing Tailor-Made Content Calenders

She is known to have designed well above 80 tailor-made content calendars for brands/business owners, and these calendars can make any product become your Bestseller. Testimonials of her product/services from her clients make rounds, and her brand thrives on account of the never-ending positive reviews.

To being a content marketing strategist and content writer, Ijeoma has added a Certified Virtual Assistant badge to her badges from African Leadership group.

Ijeoma Etuk’s Socia Media Skills

She can professionally cater to social media management, Email management, Customer service support, Data Entry, Lead generation and General administrative tasks. At work/trainings, Ijeoma’ soft skills would get you. She is a lover of God and works conscientiously.

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Udunma Nnenna Ikoro is the Lead Creative Director at Communique ResourceHub, a multiple Amazon Bestselling Author, trainer, and speaker. The graduate of Linguistics and Communication Studies, is also a professional communication, Educational, and Book Project Consultant, Lead Editor, and Content Strategist.

 She has a rich teaching experience of 14 years and runs an online English Academy as an English language teacher. Udunma Nnenna Ikoro is an advocate of Education, Youth Empowerment, Innovation in Reading Culture, Women, Cancer Awareness and screening, Volunteering, and a Sustainable Environment.

Udunma Ikoro TIWA summit

She is the convener of the TIWA SUMMIT, The Intentional Women Africa Conference and Masterpiece Writers Summit, first held in Port Harcourt, Nigeria. She helps writers, entrepreneurs, professionals, and authors birth profitable books and become internationally published authors, especially on Amazon.

She has consulted and published books for many professionals in different sectors. The Multiple Amazon Bestselling and Publisher, who has authored twelve books shares her inspiring journey with Esther Ijewere in this interview.

Childhood Influence of Udunma Nnenna Ikoro

My childhood was a discovery and an indirect preparatory ground for what I do today. As a little girl, I became a children’s choir mistress, wrote songs and poems though never published, then moved to writing stories. I had so many thoughts and insights above my age as a child, and my writing skill was discovered early.

In Primary two, I taught my fellow mates and held after-school tutorials for others which continued in Primary five where I oversaw primary four class in the absence of their teacher and even made notes and marked class work of the pupils in the public school I attended.

Growing up in the city of Aba, Abia State was interesting as I was surrounded by my lieutenants and loved by all as the only daughter. I had the best my parents could provide although our environment did not have many social facilities, we would spend time together with our parents. My Christian foundation coupled with great values and exposure to serving God in truth and sound education made me who I am today.

Inspiration Behind Tiwa Summit and Communique Resourcehub

 As an intentional woman, I discovered that many women were living other people’s dreams and living in pain, and regrets and stuck in life and their careers without fulfillment. It was obvious that many challenges and dissatisfaction were linked to no self-discovery, low self-esteem, fears, undiscovered life’s purpose, stereotypes, self-sabotage and more which I explained with their solutions intensely in my book, The Intentional Woman.

Hence, The Intentional Women Africa was birthed to help women appreciate their beauty, strength, find their purpose and enhance their potential then manifest their greatness. I held FREE three days of training, summits, and conferences to help drive home the message of intentional living as a means of manifesting a woman’s greatness.

Communique ResourceHub is my business brand and a communication and publishing consulting company. I was inspired by the fact that I know too much to remain where I was before I stepped forward into social entrepreneurship.

My desire to help people communicate their ideas, stories, knowledge, and experience effectively and error-free, using digital technology on global and local platforms while making an impact, profit and building a legacy inspired me to go into editing, book writing and publishing consultation.

The need to help writers and aspiring authors self-publish their books as I did with Amazon without some traditional publisher’s drama inspired me to start what I do at Communique ResourceHub.

The Journey So Far

It has been awesome though quite challenging and rough. I did not let the challenges break me but brush myself up to play harder and smarter. If you would like to get people to believe in what you do, you should really merit the attention and trust they will deposit in what you do. The hitches opened my eyes to greater opportunities for capacity building, critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

Challenges

Honestly, these challenges are peculiar to our environment aside from a few.

When I started and till now, people still struggle to believe I can deliver an excellent and standard job because they feel my brand is young, unknown and being resident in Africa. But my results over the years and consistency in creating content that boosted my credibility and visibility helped to reduce that and I have worked with majorly clients outside Nigeria so far, especially in Australia, the UK, the USA, Germany, Belgium, and New Zealand to mention but a few.

The issue of poor electricity supply cannot be overemphasized. It affects our productivity rate and skyrockets our products and services costs too. It affects my work in terms of the overhead cost, pricing, and turnaround time for a job. The cost of marketing to generate fresh leads and prospects is another challenge. Acquiring new upgraded gadgets and maintaining old ones.

How My Work Has Inspired Women Around Me

Many women who have encountered my intentional living message and lifestyle have been inspired to take their lives in their hands and turn it into a legacy. Many have gone ahead to start thriving businesses, build confidence to show up and be heard, and build others in their world.

I preach the message of shining brightly and illuminating others while helping them to shine their lights too because there is greatness in every person on earth.

Today, many call me The Intentional Queen because my life depicts everything about intentionality, results and manifesting your greatness no matter what the story used to be because YOU OWE YOURSELF YOUR GREATNESS. The world will only come around when you make, as they say, “success has many friends.”

Udunma Ikoro

Highlights of My Career as an English Language Teacher  

I started teaching English Language in 2003, so, it is 19 years now. Being an English Language teacher is a privilege and a golden opportunity for me as a person.

The highlights include;

  • Being a part of students’ journey of becoming good in English Language.
  • As a teacher, I remain an English Language student to keep abreast with innovations.
  • I’ve had the privilege to teach students to attain success in their external and international examinations, especially IELTS.
  • Continuous learning while teaching others the language.
  • Raising leaders through other provided opportunities as a social mistress, class teacher, club coordinator, Press and Drama Club, etc.
  • Transitioning to an Online English Learning Academy tutor and global English language tutor.

Other Projects and Activities

As a multitalented and intentional woman with aspirations, I am usually keen to give life and manifest other parts of me that are the colors of my personality.

Some of my projects include my humanitarian and professional projects at Masterpiece Entrepreneurs and Writers Academy (MEWA). We hold writing competitions, free webinars, and content sharing in our community to help entrepreneurs, and assist writers in enhancing their writing skills to build and publish their digital products.

At The Intentional Women Africa, we hold training, summits, and conferences, and we focus on these projects; Education, Health, STEM and Skills acquisitions especially for underprivileged, unprivileged, living with disabilities women and girl children. We also hold mentoring sessions for secondary children on self-discovery and intentional living then, girl children on menstrual health.

I am also opportune to volunteer for other organizations like Revamp Africa as State Coordinator supporting teaching and mentoring of children in the public schools, UN, and YALI, to mention but a few.

On 17th December 2022, we will be celebrating our 2nd Anniversary and conducting a Cervical and Breast Cancers Screening for two hundred women with FREE treatment featuring business, health, Tech and life-seasoned speakers in Lagos, Nigeria.

Being An Amazon Bestselling Author

Becoming an Amazon bestselling author was not an easy journey, but I did it afraid even as a first-time author, in 2017 with my book, Phenomenal Parenting. I got helpful training and knowledge through paid and self-taught courses and research.

I intentionally replicated the same result with my second book which was an answer to questions from my audience on how I achieved bestselling book status. It worked even better. Ever since 2018, I have published many authors and their books hit Amazon bestselling books driving sales. Besides, my twelve books on Amazon are all bestselling books.

What Udunma Nnenna Ikoro Enjoys Most About Her Job

This is an interesting question and one I love to answer at every interview. There are many things I enjoy about my job but what I enjoy most is the fulfillment of serving my world with my expertise, experience, skills and knowledge from the comfort of my home, making an impact, profit and building a legacy as a writer while helping others great the life they enjoy too.

Three Women Who Inspire You and Why

My mum is my top inspiration any day. She is a good example of a Proverbs 31 woman. She is the true Intentional Woman, industrious and kind. Amongst all she taught me, I learnt patience from my mum while the Holy Spirit helped me to become a truly patient person.

To Those Trying to Learn Content Monetization

Writing is an expressive medium of communication. To make your writing craft profitable, your writing must be valuable to your audience. Profits go after values.

Profitable writing solves problems, answers questions, and transforms the reader.

Only a person of value can give value. Improve daily on your craft, write, and have a likable personality from your sharable content. Your content is relatable when it is experiential content. Be visible. Be intentional. Be consistent.

How to Support Women in the Creative and Writing Sector

Women in the creative and writing sector need support in the areas of promotion of their skills and work. If their work could be pushed to the right audience globally and locally, it is a way of appreciation and encouragement.

There is a need for valuable mentorship because it is a huge advantage to the woman who is trying to find her feet in the creative and writing sector.

Funding, purchases, and referral are invaluable support every woman and human being needs to grow and excel in their work.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am a Woman of Rubies because I am a woman making an impact in the lives of many women all around the world. I have integrity and excellence as my personal and brand values. Daily I do my best to live by them in my relationship with people. I am a gift and unrepentant giver who gives and keeps giving to lift, help and support other people and humanity. I love lavishly and believe in helping others manifest their greatness.

How to Get My Books:

Available at Worital Bookplaze, Roving Heights and other books across Nigeria, Bambooks, Okadabooks, Apples Book and Amazon.

Phone number:  09098028001

How to Reach Udunma Nnenna Ikoro on Social Media

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nnenna-udunma-ikoro-10ab2848

Facebook: www.facebook.com/uikoro

Twitter: twitter.com/ikoroudunma

Instagram: instagram.com/udunmaikoro

Instagram: www.instagram.com/communique.resourcehub

communiquehub@gmail.com

My forthcoming cancer screening charity project:

The Intentional Women Africa’s 2nd Anniversary Conference and Cervical and Breast Cancer Screening Campaign.

Date:  17th December, 2022.

Venue: 1-7

Time: 8am

Screening fee: N7000

Registration link: bit.ly/TIWA2CBCS

Further enquiries : tiwacommunity@gmail.com 09098028001

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