Olunike Adeliyi is a Canadian actress, writer, and producer. She got her big break in the hit television series Flashpoint where she played Officer Leah Kerns. Since then, she has built an impressive resume and inspired other women to chase their dreams.
The Early Life of Olunike Adeliyi
Olunike Adeliyi was born in Toronto, Ontario to Sunny, a Nigerian salesman and Roxy, a Jamaican nurse. Raised in both Jamaica and Canada, the well-travelled actress ultimately earned a place at the highly coveted American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York City.
Education
Adeliyi had her primary education in Canada. She studied at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts In Newyork. Reportedly, she used to visit Brooklyn, New York, for her acting career and returned to her home country.
Career
Her popularity gained momentum after her appearances in films and TV shows like SAW 3D, French Immersion, The Listener, Being Human, Republic of Doyle, Lost Girl, Christmas Horror Story, Killjoys, and The Girlfriend Experience. In 2012, Adeliyi was nominated for “Best Performance by a Female – Film” at the Canadian Comedy Awards for her performance in French Immersion and won the 2014 Black Canadian Award for “Best Actress.”
Some of Adeliyi’s critically acclaimed stage performances include Macbeth (Unit 102 Theatre), HER2 (Nightwood Theatre) and Bleeders (Summerworks).
In 2019, she starred in the horror feature She Never Died, which premiered at LA Screamfest, where she was nominated for best actress and at the Blood in The Snow Film Festival, where she won the award for best actress. Olunike has performed in theatres throughout Canada and the U.S. playing leading roles in many productions.
Recognition and Award of Olunike Adeliyi
Olunike was nominated for “Best Supporting Actress” at the 2018 Canadian Screen Awards for her role in Boost; “Best Performance by a Female – Film” at the 2014 Canadian Comedy Awards for her performance in French Immersion and won the 2011 Black Canadian Award for “Best Actress”.
She recently received the 2022 Rising Star Award from the Excellence Awards program of the Afroglobal Television channel in Toronto. Away from her awards, let’s take a look at Olunike’s journey into motherhood.
Motherhood
Olunike Adeliyi and her daughter, Alesha Bailey
The amazing thespian is a mother of a beautiful daughter named Alesha Bailey, an actress. However, the details regarding her baby papa are missing. Further, the actress shares a good relationship with her daughter, and the mother-daughter duo is often seen enjoying with each other on different media platforms.
We celebrate Olunike for her tenacity, passion for her craft, and for creating room for other women to thrive.
Born Joy Eseoghene Odiete J’odie Is a soulful vocalist with an exceptional ability to communicate her deepest emotions and perceptions using very simple, yet symbolic words. Her style borders on soft, mid- tempo, colored with string instruments that give her sound an overall sweet and soulful appeal.
Joy Odiete J’odie was born into a Christain home – her father being a pastor,naturally skewed her towards church music. J’odie came into the limelight after her participation in the maiden edition of the West African Idols competition and came top 10 alongside Nigerian musicians such as Timi Dakolo and Omawumi in 2007. She released her first debut single Kuchi Kuchi (Oh baby) in 2007, which grew to be a hit song, as both young and old, within and beyond the African continent came to know the song as an anthem in both family and romantic gatherings.
Jodie
J’odie toured countries such as The Gambia, serenading African Women in Leadership Organisation (AWLO) Conference, South Africa where she also shot one of her music videos “Sugar Coconut” Sierra Leone and Liberia among others. She took a break from music to cater to her special needs child, and has since become an advocate for parents with similar lived experience.
Joy Odiete J’odie went viral recently when she shared her story online and asked Nigerians to support her . The songstress shares her inspiring story with Esther Ijewere in this exclusive interview.
Childhood Influence
If you mean what I do in the musical part of my life, I’d say a big “Yes!” I sang almost everyday, because I grew up a pastor’s kid, and we all (nuclear and some extended) have the musical talent in my family. In the area of advocacy, which was born out of my becoming a mother to a special-needs kid, I would say “No!”
My passion for music
It felt like the natural course of nature for me, though I never knew I could choose to make it an actual profession, because of my religious background. However, after many years of being stuck in the triangular routine of home-church-school, I got tired and wanted something else out of life.
After my first degree in Unilag, I stumbled upon an advert on television – the West African Idols! I didn’t know there was a show as such – I wasn’t even familiar with the American Idols show prior to that advert, but it was catchy and also gave me the idea of an “escape”. I was afraid at first, as I thought my dad wouldn’t let me go for the auditions, but he, surprisingly, did.
Singing on that “bright” stage made me realise, for the first time, “I want to do this!” “I want to sing for the rest of my life!” “I want this to be my profession!” The experience also gave me the audacity to start; because, I met many faces – I only used to see on TV, in real life. It made me believe my new dream was possible. Sometimes, you already have what it takes, but it could be a huge boost to meet or interact with people you perceive to be “high-up-there” to give you the courage to try.
Lots and lots of reasons. But before I give any reason, every artist isn’t going to have a long professional life span. It’s really okay to go on a hiatus or retire early and change profession – if it’s best for you. Artistes are humans too and go through challenges like everyone else. In fact, the challenges could be aggravated due to public attention. Art requires time and patience among other factors.
That being said, being the mother to a special-needs kid required more of my time and so I gave it. It’s like I’ve been to a different “school” for six years and I am still learning; hence, I see life differently, compared to life prior to this phase. I dare say this special “6-year program” has made my life more meaningful and I would not change it if I were asked to relive my life again. Tough, Yes! But the depth is nourishing to the soul.
Seeking for support publicly
An accumulation of pain, anger and frustration!!! Being the parent of a special-needs kid in Nigeria is not easy – especially if you are not very wealthy in finances. In fact, I’ll be blatant: being the parent of a special-needs kid in this country is super tough. The problem is not the child. The problem is the lack of societal support. When you have a special-needs kid, especially the severe cases, you need support – no matter how tough you think you are, else you break down.
I have some support – family, but I found it difficult for six years – in spite of my support system. It’s expensive and emotionally draining.
A lot of fathers run away (few mothers do), leaving only one person to handle a task that is already overwhelming for two people. There is stigmatization – some people would call the mothers “witches” and avoid any contact with a child with special needs. It may not seem a big deal, as I say it, but it is emotionally crushing when you are being accused of something you do not even understand.
Jodie and her son
The general healthcare system is poor for an average citizen: you can imagine what it feels like for families that need “special” attention – especially considering that hospitals are like a second home. The roads make it difficult for mobility – even if you could afford wheelchairs, how do you navigate? Many schools do not embrace inclusion, while the ones that do are very expensive. Feeding the child is also very expensive and a tedious physical exercise: some of them can’t even eat through their mouths.
Diapers usage, for some, are for a lifetime – yet, diaper companies celebrate only “normal-looking” babies – even though special families are their enduring customers. I took time to mention this point, just so you see that every person or organization in this country can play a positive role in order to change the narrative concerning kids with special needs. The list is long, but I’ll stop here.
I had the audacity to speak out not just because of me and my son, but because I thought about people who don’t even have any support system. It is too much pain to bear – your ability to earn is threatened or crushed, yet your bills are higher than an average citizen’s.
Inspiration behind my song “Kuchi Kuchi”
I wanted to write about love in a different light. At the time, I wasn’t romantically in any relationship with anyone, hence writing a love song, which my producer suggested, felt like a lie to me. I needed to feel and imagine it before expressing it. I, however, was able to imagine myself as a mother and what I’d think of my baby, hence the song. The term “Kuchi Kuchi” represents baby language. It’s conventionally spelt “Coochy Coo”.
Other projects and activities
I run an online shop for hair care products that are great for African hair via www.kuchikuchi.shop or @kuchihair on IG. I am very creative with my hands, hence I craft accessories on @spiceandcharm on IG.
Presently, I’m gathering knowledge on how to help other special mothers like me – I believe, for the first time, I have found my purpose. I did what I could do on a humble scale by doing giveaways for special mothers and organizing an online competition, titled #SpecialKuchi on my Facebook, Tiktok and IG platforms @JodieGreat. In this competition, special mothers dance with their special-needs kids using the new version of my debut song, titled “Kuchi Kuchi (Special Version)” – now available on online stores and platforms. The winner’s prize was N50,000, while other participants in the top 20 list got consolation cash prizes as well. This was to encourage women to openly celebrate their special-needs kids – many are ashamed, because of the stigma. I also galvanized singers to sing a theme song, titled “Special Mothers” (yet to be released) to create awareness and to celebrate families on this journey. These were made possible by donations that Nigerians, both at home and in the diaspora, made – and I’m grateful.
I’m working towards more sustainable ways to help. I think when you find yourself in certain challenges, it can open your heart to have a strong yearning to pull others out of the difficulties you have faced.
My coping mechanism as a special-needs mom
I am blessed with a supportive family, a capable nanny and a gifted doctor; hence, I’m able to focus on providing for my son’s needs. It’s still not a walk in the park, but my consolation is that his priority needs are being met.
How the industry has supported me since I called out for help
The idea behind my outburst wasn’t for people to help only “me” – it was to direct attention to the challenges of special mothers. It turned out that people started offering to help – I initially rejected it, but it became a turn off. When I eventually accepted help, I was glad I listened, because it gave me the strength to sing again; to take some rest, because my health was fragile for a long time, due to stress and trauma. It also gave me HOPE: I am truly grateful.
Having said that, this would be excellent support from the entertainment industry: to promote my songs henceforth and to give me choice platforms to showcase my talent, ensuring I am well paid. This is a form of empowerment, because I do not see myself as just the mother of Chinua, I represent countless parents who have kids like my son. My financial empowerment would positively affect the lives of many families, because I understand the pain.
How my participation in West African Idols impacted my life
I mentioned earlier that being on the West African Idols platform made me realize I could make a profession out of my musical talent. I’d like to coin it this way, “Being on the West African Idols platform helped me articulate a dream”. The “articulation” was indeed for personal clarity; because, before then, I had not defined a pathway for myself.
J’odie
What I wish to change in the Music industry
Talent should be appreciated. There’s this popular statement, “Talent is not enough”. It’s factual! However, the industry has taken it too far, creating an imbalance. Over the years, it appears talent has been relegated: it’s mostly more about connections and network. Life’s not fair, but more value should be placed on talent too, so that we would have much more qualitative art masterpieces in the public domain.
To Special-needs mom with no support system
Don’t give up! Years back, the topic of “special-needs” was more silent, but now we are talking about it. While talk is not the solution, it just tells us there’s a gradual mindset shift. It’s super slow, but it’s taking place. Just keep doing what you can do for now – therapy sessions, seek help from people around and be in touch with NGOs that have your challenges on their agenda… look for other special mothers like you- this is for emotional reasons.
Also, instead of focusing on magical “cures”, focus on managerial care for the affected child, this is because many people are out there, who would take advantage of your vulnerability and desperation; and extort you of money that you don’t even “have”. Accept that some of these health challenges may be for life, but with consistent managerial care (therapy, nutrition, etc), the child’s condition would likely improve, no matter how slow. But you already know this, so the challenge is to stay positive as you go on this long journey. You’ve come all this way… don’t stop now!
The society and its reception of special-needs parents
Societies can get used to concepts through media influence – the concept of embracing special-needs kids and even adults can be artistically and gradually infused in our films, musical videos, etc. More people now embrace albinism (compared to how it used to be), because of the power of the media. I have never seen someone with vitiligo, for example, but because I’ve been seeing cases online, it feels like I’ve known people with the skin condition for a long time.
That can be replicated in this case. And I enjoin every person of influence to take a chunk off this task – we mostly don’t plan to be special parents, but one’s offspring may become a special parent and this “help” (societal acceptance, support, world-class institutions of free care facilities) I keep talking about would be life-saving to them.
Also, schools need to be more inclusive – this would help youngsters grow up feeling natural around people living with special needs, and likely be more helpful adults – not just stare or stigmatize affected individuals.
Being a Woman of Rubies
I represent the mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters and aunties and uncles… of the special-needs children of Nigeria. My dream is to ensure that every state in Nigeria has free world-class facilities (day or boarding), where special-needs kids can be cared for, so that special mothers can have a fighting chance in life.
Follow Joy Odiete J’odie on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter to know more about her work with special needs kids.
On September 18th 2022, the first-ever Her Summit, presented by the global inspirational and lifestyle platform Her Network, brought together women from diverse sectors and levels for an interactive learning and networking experience.
The theme of the first edition of Her Summit, tagged ‘The Power of Community, reverberated throughout the varied panel sessions, where a diverse set of experienced female professionals and entrepreneurs who have led admirable careers and built sustainable businesses shared their impact stories and inspired professional and career growth among attendees.
Each session was distinctive, touching on areas like entrepreneurship, technology, inclusion, career, gender diversity, beauty, and collaboration. One of the recurring words shared by the speakers was that constant development is always significant for better performance and confidence.
Nkem Onwudiwe (Founder, Her Network and Convener, Her Summit)
In her introduction speech, the founder of Her Network, Nkem Onwudiwe, said, “The Power of Community” was inspired by our collective belief at Her Network that, while we all understand the value of belonging to a community, a lot of people don’t realize how powerful a community can be if it is comprised of the right people with the right values, goals, and motives. Now, more than ever, women genuinely need to not just come together but also lean in and understand that no woman is an island, and we all need one another to thrive. That’s the key message I want everyone to take away from this!”
Singer and Songwriter Kaline entertained the guests with a brief music performance which left guests awed by her melodic voice. The guests also connected, networked, listened to a health and wellness conversation by Mutti, learned about Real Estate from Omalicha by Middlechase and took affirmative photos in front of the branded photo walls of affirmation.
Her Summit was hosted by multidisciplinary marketing consultant and author Izin Akioya, whose eloquence, poise and constant words of affirmation kept guests vibrant and engaged.
Guests left with multiple goody bags from Her Summit’s brand partners; premium hair extensions brand LUSH Hair Nigeria, real estate investment company Omalicha by Middlechase, and Mutti, a trusted online pharmacy. In addition to these goody bags, speakers and two lucky guests were gifted the newly launched Paco Rabanne’s FAME perfume courtesy of Glam Brand Agency.
For more information about Her Network, visit www.hernetwork.co
On Saturday the 17th of September 2022, Safe Space Initiative held the 6th edition of the Tehila event themed ‘The Power of Self Discovery (losing self to find self)’.
Tehila is a support group therapy event for survivors of sexual and gender based violence that supports their physical, mental, social, and financial wellbeing. The event laid host to women who have experienced domestic violence, rape, incest, and single parents. A strictly women event this edition of Tehila held as a hybrid event, with two locations simultaneously – Lagos and Abuja while participants also joined online via zoom.
On hand were amazing facilitators who included: Osasu Edobor, Dr. Gbonjubola Abiri and Sandra Oluwadare.
The facilitators took the women through tips to discovering self in spite of the negative experiences while working at healing and becoming better.
Osasu Edobor, Founder at Safe Space Initiative, who facilitated the group session in Abuja, encouraged the women to take on simple exercises of journaling, staying present to avoid anxiety, and learning to truly reduce the noise outside, while they affirm and truly center on themselves. Practical sessions helped the women identify new things about themselves that there had ignored or not paid attention to.
Dr. Gbonjubola Babalola Abiri encouraged the women to learn to ask for help. They were reassured that in their struggles, the place of community that holds, binds and strengthens is reassuring and should never be taken for granted
Lagos Facilitators Dr. Gbonju Abiri and Ms. Sandra Oluwadare addressing the women.
On hand also was Sandra Oluwadare, a parenting Coach who shared tips with the women on being present. She identified the pivotal role of parenting especially with children of survivors who have also endured trauma. While mothers hurt, the cycle of trauma should be confronted with intention.
The sessions ended with engagements across the 3 locations with fun activities for the women, and information on reporting abuse through the herfessions mobile app. The herfessions App which is available on playstore is an anonymous community of women encouraging peer support, and a compendium of service provider in different state of the federation.
The sixth edition of the Tehila even was a massive success, and it was made possible by partner organization of WEVVO Nigeria, Dorothy Njemanze Foundation (DNF) and Rubies Ink. The session ended with the participants sharing feedback on program highlights and anticipation towards the next session.
Tehila is a quarterly event and we look forward to hosting the next episode come the last quarter of 2022.
Mrs. Toyin Saraki has stressed on the need to efficiently train and successfully deploy nurses as a way of boosting healthcare in Nigeria. She is the Founder and President, Wellbeing Foundation Africa (WBFA).
She made this call at the Lagos Health Service 13th Annual Nurses Scientific Conference. Themed ‘Nurses: A Voice to Lead, Invest in Nursing and Respect Rights to Secure Global Health’.
The conference, which was the highlight of the Lagos state edition of the 2022 Nurses Week, was organised to update nurses’ knowledge on current trends in nursing practice, present measures to overcome the current day challenges in healthcare delivery.
It also focused on contemporary issues worldwide affecting service delivery and proffer possible solutions and particularly, to bring the nursing profession to the fore, by strengthening the bond with other stakeholders in the health sectors within and outside Lagos, State.
Speaking on the importance of a motivated nursing workforce at the conference, Saraki, whose foundation donated to support the education and training objectives of the commission pointed out that nurses and midwives constitute majority of the global health workforce and the largest health care expenditure.
“Efficient production, successful deployment, and ongoing retention based on carefully constructed policies regarding the career opportunities of nurses, midwives, and other providers in healthcare systems are key to ensuring universal health coverage. The World Health Organisation estimates that an additional nine million nurses and midwives are needed if the world is to achieve Universal Health Coverage (UHC) by 2030.”
For First Lady of Lagos State, Dr. Ibijoke Sanwo-Olu, “nurses are resilient and dynamic, their efforts are duly recognized by Mr. Governor. Sadly, we need to go back to the drawing board to see why there is a high rate of brain drain in the sector. I commend the nursing practitioners and thank all nurses on behalf of the citizens of Lagos State”.
In a keynote address by Professor Florence Oluyemisi Adeyemo of the Faculty of Nursing Science, Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Ogbomosho, she highlighted that a key component of professional nursing practice and provision of high-quality patient care is the involvement of nurses in practice-based research.
Since 2015, WBFA in partnership with its global partners and donors has ran core maternal infant and young child feeding and nutrition education training in over 370 health facilities in Lagos state through its Mamacare360 Community Midwifery Antenatal and Postnatal Education Programme, Emergency Obstetric and Newborn Care (EmONC) up skilling for health workers, Medela Cares NICU-Specific Lactation Support, Nutritional International LO-ORS Zinc to Combat Diarrheal Disease in Sokoto and Kano states, as well as the Alive and Thrive Infant and Young Child Feeding (IYCF) programme.
Other Special Guests at the conference were HRM Oba Kabiru Sotobi, The Ayangburen of Ikorodu, alongside the Honorable Commissioner For Health represented by Permanent Secretary Dr. Olusegun Ogboye, Mrs. Kemi Ogunyemi HSC Commissioner IV, and Lagos State Health Service Commission Nurses led by Director of Nursing Services, Mrs. Adebukola Cole.
Omobabinrin Adeola Osideko, a branding expert, social media influencer, and coach has taken to her Instagram page to express her displeasure on how people bully celebrities, public figures, and influencers for the kind of life they chose to live, saying they are misleading their followers.
She said “influencing is a huge responsibility because you become a role model to many of the people you influence (willingly or unwillingly). You because the lens through which many see the world, the yardstick which they use to measure right from wrong. This is something aspiring influencers should have in mind as they seek and work towards the highly coveted influencer title.
I understand and agree that public figures, influencers, and celebrities need to watch how they live their life as long as they are there in the public and have a lot of people looking up to them, but the plain truth is that we do NOT have control over how they live their lives. We only have control over how we allow them to influence us, who we choose to follow, and who we choose to make role models. We have control over a lot of other things but not HOW THEY SHOULD live their lives.
She said, “in my opinion, I think it is better we concentrate on what we have control over and leave what we do not have control over.”
Another thing she stated is that we should not expect perfection from these people because they are not angels or mini gods, nor are they semi-gods. They are like every other human out there with blood flowing in their veins.
Let them breathe, they did not choose to be your role model, you choose them. Enough of this witch-hunting going on the internet, people now subtly bully others by hiding under the guise of ‘and you call yourself a role model’. Pick what resonates with you about them and trash the rest, stop the bully “she said.
Adeola further explains that everyone should have a standard of life for themselves. “Nobody should be your standard except God, because even sometimes, our parents do not meet up with the standard of life we want, not to talk of strangers we meet on the internet”, she said.
She encouraged people to have a standard for themselves through spirituality and personal development and stop making social media influencers their standard because no human is infallible.
“Get your life together and stop looking for people to blame for your bad decisions. If good values have been instilled in you from home, then you will not be easily swept away by the glitz, glamour, fake life, or immorality of the so-called role models. There is no need to witch-hunt anyone, you choose them, they didn’t choose you, some are not even aware that you exist”, she continued.
Adeola also advised parents to train their children well.
“Instill good morals in them so that they are not easily swept off by the things on the internet,” she said.
She also mentioned people should not idolize them, “don’t make these people a mini-god, they should not be objects of worship. It’s okay to love them, appreciate them, cherish them, give them gifts (if you can), and support them, but don’t idolize them and stop digging up their past to use against them. This is simply manipulation and blackmail which is done by people with low self-esteem looking for cheap attention.”
We all have a past; we all have things we have done that we are not proud of, what makes you think these people are an exception? Don’t witch-hunt people for things they did in the past when they didn’t know better. Learn to make room for their inadequacies and don’t expect too much from them”, she said.
Adeola further debunked some myths that people have about influencers and celebrities.
“Do not think that these people are rich, and they MUST give you money. Forget the glitz and glamour, a lot are not as rich as you think and even if they are rich, nobody OWES you anything. Moreover, stop expecting them to give you free access. They owe no one free access to their inner chamber. If they have decided to keep their circle small so, be it. It’s not pride, it’s simply being wise and setting boundaries since they’re in the spotlight.
Finally, whoever you are following, you are following them at your own risk. Choose your ROLE MODELS wisely”, she continued.
At the end of the day, they will only live their lives the way it pleases them, even if we talk about it from now till tomorrow. The onus lies on us all to choose who we follow and how we allow them to influence us”, she concluded.
My sisters share a close bond, one that I envy. Whenever I am around them – which is not often, I feel like a stranger looking on from the outside. They speak as if in codes or parables that I do not understand.
“Wait, what? What did you say?” I would ask in the middle of the conversation, looking from one sister to the other like a lost kitten.
One of them, perhaps the older one, would repeat what she had said earlier. It could be a comment or question on something as random as a TV show or book.
“Oh, okay!” I would respond, nodding and smiling, pretending to understand.
Of course, I do not understand. I do not watch the TV shows they watch and I do not read the kind of books they read. So, all I do is nod as much as I can or smile when I think I have to.
They share jokes that are lost on me, and when they laugh long and hard, hitting each other on their shoulders, I only look on in amazement.
“What? What? Share the joke!” I would say, peeling my eyes off the TV for a moment and shifting excitedly in my seat.
The other sister, would repeat the joke, laughing heartily, but I would only stare blankly, the corner of my mouth not even twitching into a smile.
They speak the same way; I have heard that we all do. With my sisters, though, it goes beyond the voice, intonation or pronunciation. They think the same way, too; the way you would if you were raised in a largely conservative home.
One is my twin sister and the other is my big sister. Yet, it feels like they are the twins, and I am the other sister just hanging on. When I am back home with them, the sisters bond over what you would call “kitchen gist” as they cook or sit idly around the kitchen table. They say that kind of gist is the sweetest, but I have no idea, as I am not there to share in the gist.
I am not sure how it makes me feel. Maybe sad, alone, or dejected. But mostly, I feel like the odd one out.
Is being the odd one out such a bad thing?
“No, it is not a bad thing. You are not a bad person for being the odd one out. The fact that you are a good person could be the reason you are the odd one out. So, no, it isn’t a bad thing,” Adetoun, a Lagos-based nutritionist, insists.
If being the odd one out is not such a bad thing, why does it sound like the worst thing that could happen to someone and why do people feel hurt about it? I’ll admit that I have felt like the odd one out around my sisters for the longest time and it has always made me feel bad. It just hurts to be that one person that is different from her sisters and cannot talk to them the same way they talk to each other.
“I guess you can say that there is a feeling of being left out that comes with being the odd one out. And just because the word “odd” sounds like a bad thing, it makes people think of it as something negative,” the nutritionist explains.
I have also thought about how being the odd one out in a group is not unconnected with odd numbers. If you think about it, you will observe that even numbers can even themselves out while odd numbers cannot. What I mean is, when there are three siblings or friends or roommates, two will be closer, no matter how close all three are. The two will share secrets that they probably will not share with the third. They will connect on a level that they might not connect on with the third. These two leave the third one out without even knowing it.
“I have two best friends. I’ll call them A and B. The three of us hang out almost all the time. When I want to talk about boys or rant about my relationship woes, I know better to call A than to call B. When I want to talk about work and work-related matters, I would much rather call B. But because I tend to talk more about my relationship woes, I am closer to A than B,” Adetoun says, in a sense buttressing my point.
In a group of even numbers – let’s say four, for instance, the situation is different. Each pair can be closer than the other pair without anyone feeling odd or left out. Now, I might be wrong, and it is not always the case, but this is often how it happens. It is the same way it happens in movies, sitcoms and TV shows. In the sitcom, ‘Friends’, you cannot help but notice that while all six are close, Joey and Phoebe are closer than the other four, Monica and Chandler are closer than the other two, and that leaves Ross and Rachel to be the couple – at least, for the most part of the show.
Do you perhaps find yourself in a group where you are the odd one out – whether it is a group of odd or even numbers? Do you feel like the odd one out, not just among friends or siblings, but in a work setting or environment, at gatherings, events, church, or some other space? How does it make you feel? Find honest advice from real people on how to deal with being the odd one out here.
Don’t see it as a bad thing – “Being the odd one out isn’t a bad thing. It just means that you are different, and different is okay.” – Nene. 31.
It might actually be a good thing – “What if you are the odd one out because you are the one who does not gossip, the one who minds her business, the one who works the hardest? Tsk! Don’t sweat it, child. That is a good thing. Keep at it.” – Chioma. 36.
Stop trying to fit in – “Well, because you cannot; that’s why you should not even try. If you could fit in, you would have without even trying.” – Omotoke. 24.
Don’t let your uniqueness scare you – “You have your idiosyncrasies, just as everybody has theirs. But don’t let this scare you. You cannot fit into every group you find yourself in.” – OJ. 33.
You might not be the odd one out – “It is probably just all in your head. You’re imagining or overthinking things. Either way, do you and you’re good.” – Kolade. 44.
Titilayo Olurin is a writer whose stories and articles have been published on various online platforms. A love junkie, as she often describes herself, she is on radio every week talking about relationships, dating and family. She spends most of her time curating and creating content around these same topics on her Instagram page @toastlinewithteetee. You can connect with her on Instagram and Twitter @titilayo_olurin.
With only one adult to act as a parent, some tasks are inherently more challenging. However, there are a few helpful things you can do to make the parenting journey a little easier for yourself and stay sane while doing it.
1. Don’t Neglect Self-Care
Before anything else can be done, you must be caring for your own needs adequately. Only when you are feeling well-rested and healthy can you be at your best for your children.
Many parents tend to put their kids’ needs first and their owns last, but that will result in a never-ending cycle of exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy. Make time to eat regularly and healthfully, get plenty of rest, and squeeze in exercise whenever you can. Even a short walk around the neighborhood will help your body get much-needed movement and fresh air.
Your children depend on you, and it’s up to you to make sure that you are well-equipped and ready to take on that responsibility.
2. Join Forces with Other Single Parents
At times, it may seem like you’re the only person who knows what it’s like to be a single parent. However, the statistics say that there are many others who know exactly what you’re going through.
Find single parents locally, through your kid’s school, extracurricular activities, or even an app. There are also numerous online communities that can offer support and advice.
Join forces in order to form mutually beneficial relationships.
3. Build a Community
In addition to finding support with other single parents, also build a community comprised of families of all different types. Rather than focus solely on the single parent aspect of your identity, look for parents and kids who share other things in common.
Join a playgroup, get plugged in at a church, or get to know the parents of the kids involved in the same extracurricular activities. Having a community of a variety of people and families will bring diversity and excitement into your and your kids’ lives.
4. Accept Help
Don’t try to be a superhero and do it all yourself. There are probably people in your life who care about you and your kids and want to help you. Let them know what types of things would be most appreciated, whether it’s bringing meals once a week, helping with rides to school, or giving you time to yourself.
There is no shame in asking for help and accepting assistance from loved ones. You will not be perceived as weak or incompetent. You are being a good parent by being resourceful and allowing others to give you a much-needed break.
5. Get Creative with Childcare
Raising a child on a single income is a challenge, with the high cost of daycares, nannies, and other conventional childcare services. More affordable options are possible if you go a less traditional route.
6. Plan Ahead for Emergencies
As a single parent, a backup plan or two is a must in emergency situations. Make a list of people you know you can call in a moment’s notice. There will be times in which you need help, and it’s important to know ahead of time who you can rely on.
7. Create a Routine
Routine crucial for young children because knowing what to expect gives them a semblance of control. This is even more important when in a single parent home.
Establish a routine and schedule for your child as much as possible. This can include bedtime, before/after school, chores, meal times, and even a weekend routine.
Having a routine does not mean things cannot change. It is merely a default schedule to fall back on when no additional events or activities are going on. When your children know what to expect, they will be less resistant because they know what to expect, and days will run much more smoothly.
8. Be Consistent with Rules and Discipline
If your child has multiple caretakers, such as another parent, grandparent, or babysitter, communicate clearly on how discipline will be handled. Talk to your ex, if you are sharing custody, as well as any other caretakers about the rules and the agreed-upon approach to discipline.
When a child realizes that certain rules can be bent with certain people, he/she will use it to their advantage, causing additional issues with limits, behavior, and discipline down the road.
9. Stay Positive
Everyone has heard the saying, “Mind over matter.” But there really is so much power behind your mentality. It can change your perspective and make a difficult situation so much better.
Your kids will be able to detect even the smallest shift in your attitude. When the responsibilities of motherhood are overwhelming, stay focused on the positive things in your life, such as your friends and family. This will produce a much more stable home environment.
Maintain your sense of humor and don’t be afraid to be silly. Look towards the future and the great things that are still to come for you and your family. Rediscover and redefine your family values.
10. Move Past the Guilt
In a single parent home, it is impossible to act as both parents, regardless of how hard you try. Let go of the things that you cannot do as a single parent, and instead, think of the great things you ARE able to provide for your children.
Leave behind the notion that life would be easier or better with two parents. This is simply not true. There is a multitude of pros and cons to all family dynamics, and the one you are providing for your kids now is the one that they need.
Don’t get bogged down by guilt or regret. Take control of your life and be the best parent you can by being present and engaged with them on a daily basis.
11. Answer Questions Honestly
Your kids may have questions about why their home situation is different from many of their friends. When asked, don’t sugarcoat the situation or give them an answer that is not accurate.
Depending on their age, take this opportunity to explain the truth of what happened and how the current circumstances came about. Not all families have two parents, whether that is due to divorce, death, or whatever else life brings.
Don’t give more detail than necessary or talk badly about the other parent. But strive to be truthful and honest. Your children will benefit more from your candor than a made-up story.
12. Treat Kids Like Kids
In the absence of a partner, it can be tempting to rely on your children for comfort, companionship, or sympathy. But your kids are not equipped to play this role for you.
There are many details within an adult relationship that children are not able to understand or process, and it will only cause confusion and resentment.
Do not take out your anger on your kids. Separate your emotional needs from your role as a mother. If you find yourself depending on your kids too much, look for adult friends or family members that you can talk to about your issues.
13. Find Role Models
Find positive role models of the opposite sex for your child. It’s crucial that your child does not form negative associations with an entire gender of people.
Find close friends or family members that would be willing to spend one-on-one time with your kids. Encourage them to form meaningful relationships with people that you trust and that they can look up to.
Role models can make a huge difference in the path that a child decides to take, so be intentional about the ones that you put in your kids’ lives.
14. Be Affectionate and Give Praise
Your children need your affection and praise on a daily basis. Engage with your kids as often as possible by playing with them, going on outings, and encouraging open dialogue.
Affirm them in the things that they are doing well, no matter how small. Praise their efforts, rather than their achievements. This will inspire them to continue to put forth hard work and not give up when success is not achieved.
Rather than spending money on gifts, spend time and effort in making lasting memories.
Final Thoughts
Being a single parent is a challenging responsibility to take on. Without the help of a partner to fall back on, single parents have a lot more to take on.
However, studies show that growing up in a single parent home does not have a negative effect on achievement in school. As long as the family is a stable and safe environment, kids are able to excel and do well in life.
Use these tips in order to be a reliable and capable parent for your kids, while maintaining your own well-being and sanity.
You know there are days when you’re so happy and feel you can take over the world while there are other says you feel like everything is crashing around you.
It is human to shift moods every now and then and it is okay to allow yourself feel every emotion rather than hide or suppress them.
It is okay not to be okay.
It’s important to know that every mood you feel influences the way you act.
You may not be able to dictate how you feel at every given moment. However, you can take an extra step to know what each emotion means to you and how you can assess yourself while in that state of mood.
Why It’s Important to Track Your Mood
Have you ever noticed how you make bad decisions when you’re angry? Or how you can’t think straight when you feel downright sad?
It’s not surprising that the way we think, or the decisions we make sometimes heavily rely on our mood. This is why we need to keep track of it.
One of the best ways to do this is to write down your mood in a journal. Writing things down will help you understand and manage yourself better. You’ll be able to recognize what triggers your moods and find out how you can take actions that best serve your highest self.
A mood journal is a great way to identify personal factors that affect your mood daily.
Not only does writing in your journal build self-awareness, but it also helps you figure out how you can avoid triggers from happening altogether.
5 Reasons Why Keeping a Mood Journal Is Good for Your Mental Health
Tracking your mood is a helpful way to improve your mental health. If you don’t control your emotions, your emotions will end up controlling you and if you asked me, that is a recipe for disaster.
Here are the top 5 reasons why you should start mood journaling.
1. It Helps You Determine a Course of Action
When you’re aware of how you’re feeling, you can better understand what you need.
Think about the last time you found yourself spiraling emotionally. Did you feel like you could make a decision at that moment? Probably not.
When you are overwhelmed, you feel paralyzed to take action.
A mood journal will help you take notice of your day-to-day emotions so you can figure out the best ways that you can respond to them.
2. It Helps You Express Your Emotions
If you are someone who is prone to overthinking and worrying about everything, it’s imperative that you express your emotions through writing.
A mood journal is a safe container where you are given the space to feel without judgment. It’s a process that is both therapeutic and empowering. You don’t have to worry about how someone may receive your words because you’re having a dialogue with yourself.
Trust me when I say that you don’t have to carry around the weight of your feelings for one day longer. You deserve a break, so give yourself the gift of self-expression through journaling.
3. It Will Support Your Healing Process
Mood journaling allows you to sort through the difficult events that have occurred in your life so that you can start making sense of them.
More importantly, this therapeutic process allows you to come to a deeper understanding of yourself, which is a core piece of the healing process.
Healing is your birthright. If you have been struggling to make sense of the trauma you’ve endured, I encourage you to start writing your way towards better mental and emotional health.
4. It Helps Reveal What Your Triggers Are
We all have emotional triggers. It’s a part of being human. Someone will say something that triggers an emotional reaction that throws you off your game.
Emotional triggers are people, words, opinions, situations, or environmental situations that provoke an intense and excessive emotional reaction within us.
When you don’t do the work to figure out the root of these triggers, your emotions will get the best of you.
Use a mood journal to write down moments when you feel triggered. Take note of how you felt and what your reaction was. As you write, you will start to bring awareness to your triggers and start noticing patterns between how you feel and behave.
5. It Helps You Find the Silver Lining
When negative emotions get the better of you, you can’t help but flounder in negativity. In this state, it can become near impossible to be positive. This is where the mood journal comes to play.
The more that you write, the more that you feel in control of your emotional state and the less stressed you feel. Negativity feeds off of stress.
Journaling presents an opportunity for emotional catharsis, which thereby helps your brain regulate emotions. In turn, when you encounter adversities in life, you will be more inclined to find the silver lining.
When you start to witness the changes that occur as a result of the inner work you’re doing, you will feel more empowered knowing the impact you have had on your own mood. These are the silver lining moments that you want to pull upon when you’re having down days.
How to Write a Mood Journal
Personalizing your prompts according to your preference will help you form a deeper connection with your inner self.
Make a table of three columns. The first column should be for the emotions you feel.
While the second should be for the possible reasons you think affect your mood.
The last column should be for the actions and steps you took as a result of how you felt.
Or you can get a customized mood journal templates online.
When you become aware of a shift in your mood, write down what the change is in your journal. At the same time, observe how you feel in your body when you’re writing.
Also, make note of what you were doing when this mood shift occurred and who you were with. Equally as important is to reflect upon what was going on with your internal world. Name the emotion or thought that was going through your head.
Conclusion
Tracking your mood through a journal will help you organize your thoughts better and give you more understanding as to why and how you feel certain emotions
Taiye Aluko is a relationship and marriage coach. The amazing amazon is also the founder of RareGems Counselling and Coaching, a centre that helps people gain clarity in their relationships. Thereby, turning despair to hopefulness and ignorance to awareness. The sought after coach who has been married for over 22 years has 16 years experience in counselling and heads her local church’s marriage counselling unit.
She holds a degree in Law from the Obafemi Awolowo University and was called into the Nigerian Bar in 1992. She also holds an MBA from the PAN African University and is also a certified Prepare Enrich facilitator. She worked in leading law firms before starting an active career in banking, which spanned over 18 years, until 2013 when she decided to follow her passion for counseling.
Aside from her Law degree, she also holds certifications in Person Centered Counselling, Psychology Counselling, Marriage and Relationship Counselling. She shares her inspiring journey and insightful relationship nuggets in tis interview with Esther Ijewere
Growing Up
I grew up as one of the last children in a family of 5. I have a twin sister which is why I am one of the last children. Growing up was largely uneventful for us. We had both parents and my dad died last year at the age of 90 years. My parents tried their best to provide a comfortable life for us, but things became difficult when my dad lost his job. My dad was a diplomat who worked with Foreign Affairs Ministry, so we spent our early years outside of Nigeria. When we came back to Nigeria and he lost his job, he wasn’t able to get back on his feet and my mom had to assume the financial responsibility. That was a turning point as we the children had to quickly adapt and adjust to the new realities of our life. Those were difficult years but my parents stayed together. I think growing up made me assume that every family consists of mother and father plus children. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that not all families were like that. Some people grew up without fathers. Some of us were brought up by grandparents. My parents ensured we had a stable and loving home. That for me was a great gift from them to us. I won’t really say that my childhood prepared me for what I do now. I think I discovered my love for working with couples later in life
Inspiration behind Raregems counseling and coaching
Working in the Marriage Counselling Department of my church over the years opened me up to how needed premarital counselling is, as it was clear that many couples still had a mills and boon idea of marriage. The reality they experienced once married was at variance with what they expected, and it was resulting in heartbreak and pain for many couples. I was privileged to attend Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s singles fellowship before I got married. Attending her fellowship helped reset my thinking and understanding of marriage. Then when I was about to get married, my husband and I also went through premarital counselling. As time went on, I began to see the need to offer premarital counselling outside of the church because not everyone gets married within a church setting, and they still desire to be married and happy. Because the family is the bedrock of society, it is important that we have healthy marriages and happy homes. So, my thinking in setting up RareGems Counselling and Coaching was to take premarital counselling outside of the church environment to reach more couples. I was mindful of the larger picture, which is that society is better off when the family unit is thriving. Families can only thrive when husband and wife have a wholesome relationship. Already we were seeing the impact that a lack of understanding of foundational principles was having on marriages. I felt more needed to be done and this is what inspired me to become a professional Marriage Coach and I set up my company as a vehicle to offer this service to the world.But I also realized that I would need to equip myself because my audience was now different and church rules would not apply. So, I had to equip myself with learning to be able to offer value and truly address needs that existed. Another thing I discovered was that even when preparing couples for marriage some had issues from their childhood that needed to be addressed and resolved. This meant that I had to be more than just a marriage counsellor. I had to be fully equipped.
Perception of marriage as it relates to Nigerian society
I would say that we are a very traditional and religious society, governed by cultural values and norms. Marriage is desired and desirable by most Nigerians, up from the time of our parents till now. So, there is still an associated stigma when one is not married. This is what puts singles, especially single women under pressure to want to marry at all costs. Because of this pressure, many make the wrong choice. Also, you have cultural interpretation, where many believe that because the man is head of the home, it is interpreted to mean that he is lord and master of all. Many men abuse their position of headship because they don’t understand what being the head of the home calls for. So, a lot of women suffer hardship in their marriages. I get calls from wives whose husbands brandish the head of house status like a badge of honor, while falling to take responsibility.
The sad thing is these men have no understanding of the responsibility aspect of being head of the home. I believe that every man needs to be taught the leadership style of Jesus. Jesus came as a servant leader and so one of things I say is that the position of headship that husbands hold in their homes is a position of servantship. They are chief servants because true leadership is all about service.
What makes me happy though is to see that the younger generation are coming into an understanding of this concept. Men are more willing to love their wives through service. They are more present and involved in making their marriage work. So, I would say that things are evolving, yes, the evolution is slow because you only see these changes in thinking and behaviour in urban areas and even in the urban areas, it is not yet a prevalent pattern. We still have a long way to go.
Experience as the head of marriage counselling unit in my church
It’s been amazing because I love what I do. I recently became the head of department and I work with women who are also passionate about helping young couples start married life with a deep understanding of what marriage is about. Our focus is to teach them and equip them with needed skills for building a healthy marriage.
We operate a one-on-one counselling system in my church. This is different from group counselling where several couples are counselled together at the same time. The beauty of the one of one method is that the couple can confide in you. They get to share their challenges and I can help them work through it. Because we are also spending a lot of time together, I am observing patterns and can give feedback appropriately. We have a very rigorous but also interesting counselling program that spans a period of 3 months. The process is engaging and participatory. It’s not about the counselor just preaching at them. You must get to know your couple and understand their journey because it’s not a one size fits all. The feedback from couples has always been very rewarding.
The role of the church in helping young couples navigate their marital journey
I believe that the church needs to be at the forefront of helping couples navigate their marital journey. Firstly, marriage is God’s idea, and we need to uphold the principles He laid down regarding marriage. The marriage relationship is also a deeply spiritual one, otherwise how do you explain the concept of two becoming one? I believe that the church should be at the forefront of helping young couples have a deep understanding of the marriage institution and of God’s original design for marriage.
Secondly, I would also say that to be more effective, church counsellors need to be trained professionally on basic counselling skills. This is because the quality of counselling can only be as good as the knowledge of the counsellor. You can’t give what you don’t have. Many teach using their experience, this is wrong because if you have a bad experience, you will be projecting fear to the couple. Also, you must know that people’s backgrounds are different and when it comes to marriage, it is never once size fits all. So, regarding the role of the church, I say the church needs to be at the forefront both in premarital and post marital counselling.
Lastly, for the church to be at the forefront, we need to have a system of counselling that actually works, and couples need to feel safe coming to the church with their challenges. They need to be assured that there will be no judgment or condemnation. People need to see the church as a solution centre. Many churches have robust premarital counselling programs but the post marital one is lacking. A lot of work still needs to be done regarding post marital counselling.
Challenges
Quite a few, number 1 being that counselling is still relatively a new concept in Nigeria. The need for professional marriage counselling is a novel concept so people are reluctant to make the financial investment. They are willing to spend millions on the wedding day, but do not see the need to invest in the actual marriage. Unfortunately, the cost of ill preparation is actually higher and the consequences can be devastating.
Another challenge would be that sometimes you can see clearly that this couple are not a good fit for each other. You see red flags and you begin to wonder; how do you get this couple to a place where they realise that they should not be going ahead. I always say at the onset of my sessions with couples that the aim of premarital counselling is not necessarily to get you to the altar at all costs, but rather to help you make an informed decision. I once had a case where the lady decided she was not going ahead and called off the relationship.
Finally, when it comes to post marital counselling, the willingness of the couple to make needed changes is very necessary. Counselling is not a magic formula, so where there is no willingness or commitment from the couple, there is little or nothing that a counsellor can do.
Other projects and activities
Thank you for asking, everything I do is directed at helping couples in one way or the other. I have a book that was written and released last year called, Together Forever, Godly Principles for Building a Happy and Lasting Marriage. The book is available for purchase on Amazon and Okada books. It’s a book that any intending to wed or newly married couple can pick up and read together. I have poured what I do in one-on-one sessions with couples into the book, so it’s a valuable resource for any couple seriously committed to making their marriage work. I also have 3 online courses which I created last year.
How to have an engaging productive conversation on expectations before marriage
How to grow your intimacy through the power of effective communication.
Create your dream marriage, your marriage blueprint.
The courses are available for purchase on my website, Taiyealuko.coach.
I am also host of a podcast called, The H.A.P.P.Y Home Podcast this podcast is available on https://www.buzzsprout.com/1670839/episodes as well as all podcast platforms.
Finally, I have an upcoming masterclass for dating and engaged couples that I will be holding in February. The focus of the masterclass is to equip couples with very needed skills for making their marriages work. It will be the first of such master classes and I will be covering several topics. Details will be available on my social media platforms very soon.
What I enjoy about Job
I enjoy being able to impact people’s lives. I enjoy bringing the couples to a place of awareness and understanding, of themselves, their partners, and the marriage institution. It’s really a journey or transformation and I love seeing couples go through that journey and the growth that takes place in their relationship. When you are able to influence or impact people’s lives in deeply meaningful ways, it is always a rewarding experience.
3 women who inspire me and why
Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, of blessed memory.
She was passionate about marriage but more importantly she was passionate about the single person being whole as a single first. She understood that if you are not whole as a person first, there is no way you can build a healthy marriage. She challenged mindsets with her preaching, and she shaped my thinking and beliefs about marriage when I was still single. I went into marriage having been properly schooled by her teachings at Single and Married Fellowship back them. It’s interesting to note that I even met my husband at one of her singles programs. She would always encourage us to mingle, so that evening at one of such programs, we were all mingling and just generally being friendly towards each other, in a godly way o, lol. That was how my husband mingled towards my direction and the rest is history.
My mom, Mama Oluyinka Laoye.
My dad lost his job and for many years she was the breadwinner and provider in the family. It wasn’t easy for her, but she stayed with my dad despite the challenges. She ensured that we grew up in a happy home. She made lots of sacrifices for her children and for her husband. I say it often, that for a long time I never understood single parent households, because I agree up seeing my parents together.
Lastly, I would say more recently, Pastor Mildred Okonkwo. She is fearless in her preaching and teaching about marriage. She is not afraid to say it as it is. She is also practical in her approach whilst also promoting godly principles regarding marriage. She is one woman who is so full of wisdom, and I admire her a great deal.
To young women who are trying to find the right partner
Firstly, get to know yourself and love yourself. Get to understand that you are valuable and priceless. As a young woman don’t undervalue yourself. Many women are making wrong choices because of low self-esteem. I want young women to know that they are precious and priceless. Secondly, you must have your values. Know what is important to you and have a vision for your life because if you don’t know where you are meant to be going, all roads will look attractive. Set standards for yourself. It is very important particularly with regards to choosing right. Lastly, if I am to choose one critical quality to look out for, I would say kindness. Look out for a man that is full of kindness. You will see this in the way he treats all those around him including his family members. Kindness is such an overlooked virtue but is so critical for marriage success. It is particularly important for men to have kind hearts. There are too many stories of wickedness out there, it is heartbreaking.
There is so much more I can talk about but, let me leave it as these for now.
Nuggets and lessons from my 22 years marriage
We clocked 22 years in marriage on the 14th of January. For me it has been a journey of learning and growing, that is one of the most beautiful things about marriage. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is the gift of acceptance. Acceptance is a gift that is not just for your spouse but also for you. My husband and I are very different and in the early days of our marriage I used to feel so frustrated with some of the things he did. I would be miserable wondering why this man just can see it the way I do. But then I began to understand that difference is not bad, I learnt to appreciate him for his uniqueness and accept him for who he is. That was when I started understanding the power of acceptance. My learning to accept him helped me to begin to enjoy his uniqueness. I stopped wanting him to be like me but learnt to love, honor, and respect him just the way he was. Remember that we can’t change anybody, so trying to change our spouses in subtle and not subtle ways, only leaves us frustrated. When I stopped trying to change him, I freed myself from that frustration. Now acceptance is a gift to your spouse because you say to them with your actions that they can be themselves with you. That even with their flaws and frailties you love and appreciate them. Every human being on earth wants to feel accepted, so when you give the gift of acceptance to your spouse, they can be vulnerable and truly be open with you. Once you create an atmosphere of unconditional acceptance in your home, things become easier.
Another nugget I would mention is that marriage is a journey. There are seasons and stages that every marriage must pass through. Recognizing the season your marriage is at, is key. That way you can deal appropriately with challenges per season. Many times, people give up easily or early because they don’t take a long-term view. One of the things I say to couples is that, if God has purposed that He has a mega blessing that He wants to release in your marriage in the 10th year and you get to the 5th year and decide to call it quits because you feel the challenges are too much, you have missed the mega blessing is year 10. God sees and knows all regarding us. We need to trust Him more and follow His lead.
Being a Woman of Rubies
I believe every woman is a woman of rubies. As women, we are precious and priceless. We are beautifully crafted masterpieces, specially created by our Master. Every woman carries beauty on the inside and that is our strength. We women are nurturers and co-creators with God. In the bible, rubies are associated with beauty and wisdom. I see every woman as beautiful and full of wisdom. As for me as a person, because I am a woman, I am automatically a woman of rubies. You know rubies are precious gemstones and coincidently, I once belonged to a women’s network where we all had to give ourselves descriptive names. The name I chose for myself is Gemstone. I see myself the way God sees me as a beautiful gemstone, crafted in His image and likeness. My friends still call me Gemstone Taiye till today. For me it is a reminder of the value that I carry.
Also, I am passionate about pursuing my purpose, I understand who I am and the assignment I am on earth to fulfil. I can say this now, confidently but it has been a journey of learning and growing. I am not afraid to be myself. So, for me, I am passionately walking the journey of purpose. My goal this year is to help 1000 couples and 5000 singles. I want to help 1000 couples build happy and healthy homes. The strength of the home is the strength of society, the home is so important. But I also recognise that it starts with the individual first. You cannot give what you don’t have. Wounded people wound people and we see a lot of that in marriage. That is why the mandate of 5000 singles exists. If you are whole as a single person, you stand a better chance of making a success of your marriage whenever it happens.
The theme of the first edition of Her Summit, tagged ‘The Power of Community, reverberated throughout the varied panel sessions, where a diverse set of experienced female professionals and entrepreneurs who have led admirable careers and built sustainable businesses shared their impact stories and inspired professional and career growth among attendees.
